Healing Takes Time with Lauren Mitchell

Welcome! To become a client or connect visit catiaholm.com or call/text 956-249-7930.

In today's episode, we slow down the urge to “fix it” and talk about why healing often takes longer than we want, especially when our nervous systems have been carrying stress for years. With therapist Lauren Mitchell, we explore holistic healing as an embodied and relational practice that helps us come back home to ourselves with more compassion. 

• reframing exhaustion as rest rather than laziness 
• noticing overwhelm as a nervous system signal, not weakness 
• challenging productivity culture and chronic stress normalization 
• treating healing as physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual 
• Lauren’s shift from hustling to holistic practices that work 
• how culture and upbringing shape the drive to overfunction 
• choosing brave change to find what feels missing 
• letting go of the A through Z misconception 
• accepting nonlinear healing and perspective shifts over time 
• holding trauma with support instead of trying to erase it 
• using community and belonging for co-regulation 
• simple regulation tools like breath movement, sunlight, and boundaries 

Show Guest:

Lauren Mitchell is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate and the Director of the Youth Crisis Respite Center at Hill Country Mental Health and Developmental Disabilities Centers in San Marcos.

What I love about Lauren’s work is that she approaches mental health through a deeply relational and human lens. Her background spans family therapy, crisis stabilization, trauma-informed care, leadership in community mental health systems, and family-centered support programs.

But beyond the credentials—and there are many—what stands out about Lauren is her presence. She has this grounded, collaborative way of helping people feel safe enough to breathe again during some of their hardest moments.

She believes healing happens through connection, dignity, and meeting people exactly where they are.

You can contact Lauren at: lauren@brightlightmft.com, or find her on Instagram.

Transcript

Welcome To Couch Time With Kat

Speaker 0:00

Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for real conversation and a gentle check-in. KWVH presents Couch Time with Cat.

Speaker 1 0:10

Hi friends, and welcome to Couch Time with Cat, Mental Wellness with a Friendly Voice. I'm Cat, therapist, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and endurance athlete. But most of all, I'm a wife, mama, and someone who deeply believes that people are good and healing is possible. Here in the Hill Country of Wimberley, Texas, I've built my life and practice around one purpose to make mental wellness feel accessible, compassionate, and real. This show is for those moments when life feels heavy, when you're craving clarity, or when you just need to hear, you're not alone. Each week we'll explore the terrain of mental wellness through stories, reflections, research, and tools you can bring into everyday life. Think of it as a conversation between friends, rooted in science, guided by heart, and grounded in the belief that healing does not have to feel clinical. It can feel like sitting on a couch with someone who gets it. So whether you're driving, walking, cooking, or simply catching your breath, you're welcome here. This is your space to feel seen, supported, and reminded of your own strength. I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive

Rest Is Not Laziness

Speaker 1 1:21

in. Some of us were taught healing should happen quickly. Fix it, push through, move on, stay productive. Listener, you know that is me 1000%. That's my you guys know that already. But what if healing is slower than that? Boo, boo, I say, you know, I'm I'm here. Listener, I'm here with you. Okay. Like this episode is mostly a reminder to me that healing doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes we feel like our exhaustion is laziness. Has that ever happened to you where you you say, I was just lazy today? And if I'm on the outside looking in, if I'm your friend, I'm telling you, no, no, no, no, no, you're not lazy. You're resting. But sometimes our inner voices aren't as kind. We can be so kind to the people around us, but we we will define our Saturday rest as laziness. What if your overwhelm isn't weakness? What if your nervous system has just been caring more than anyone has realized? Today's conversation is about coming back home to yourself. Not perfectly, not all at once, but gently and with compassion and with an inner voice that is kind and loving and generous, and not the inner voice that says, boo for that. So many of us are walking around calling ourselves fine while our nervous systems are quietly begging us for rest. Not just sleep, even rest. The kind of rest that comes from finally feeling safe enough to unclench, safe enough to stop performing, and safe enough to stop approving, and safe enough to stop merely surviving. The truth is we live in a culture that rewards disconnection and productivity. We are so quick to applaud somebody who works themselves to the bone or who overfunctions and we normalize chronic stress. You know, we say things like coffee, coffee until five and then wine, you know, things like that. It's like when we are even consuming liquid that doesn't allow us to rest, we've really, we've really stretched ourselves pretty thin. And then we wonder why we feel anxious or emotionally numb or disconnected from joy or from our bodies or from ourselves. What I've learned both personally and professionally is that healing is very rarely only cognitive. It's very rarely only in the mind. We cannot simply think better thoughts. Rather, healing is physical, emotional, relational, spiritual. It's nervous system deep. I will add parenthetically, unfortunately, right? There's just no quick fix. And in a world that wants us to go faster and produce more and get it done, this requires a completely different paradigm. Sometimes healing looks like finally crying after years of staying strong or resting without guilt or setting boundaries. And sometimes it looks like realizing your body has been trying to send you messages for so long before you are willing to listen. So maybe your back has been hurting a long time, or maybe you get these headaches every Friday and you're not really sure why, but it's because you see your mother-in-law every Friday, or you know, our bodies send us messages, all due respect to mother-in-laws. You know, that was just uh that was just low-hanging fruit.

Healing Goes Beyond The Mind

Speaker 1 5:28

And one of my favorite things about today's episode is that it's not a formal expert interview. I'm sitting down with one of my favorite people with Lauren Mitchell, and I'll bring her on in a moment, but we're just gonna talk about what is long-term healing and how does it look like, or what does it look like rather to heal holistically? You're listening to Couch Time with Cat. I'm Cat, and today we're talking about holistic healing, nervous system care and the slow, meaningful work of coming back to yourself.

Meet Lauren Mitchell

Speaker 1 6:00

I'm so happy to share this conversation with someone I deeply respect, both personally and professionally, Lauren Mitchell. Lauren is a therapist at Bright Light Marriage and Family Therapy in Wimberley, Texas, and also serves as the director of the Youth Crisis Respite Center at Hill Country MHDD in San Marcos. Her work is rooted in compassion, collaboration, trauma-informed care, and helping people navigate life's transitions and emotional overwhelm with dignity and humanity. But what makes Lauren such a beautiful person for this conversation is not just her clinical knowledge, it's the way she understands healing as something relational and embodied. She gets that wellness isn't a trend, it's practice, it's nervous system work. It's learning how to stay connected to yourself in a world that constantly pulls you away from your own center. Hi, Lauren.

Speaker 6:56

Hello. Hey girl, what's up? Hello, hello.

Speaker 1 7:00

Listener, Lauren and I met not too long ago, and I really was drawn to her immediately. We just really hit it off immediately. And um, I like to say that I'm Lauren's side hustle, and she's mine.

unknown 7:16

Yeah.

Speaker 1 7:18

We both have full-time day jobs, but we wanted a little more. We each wanted a little more in our professional space. So we kind of were exploring. So Lauren is the first person I have ever hired as part of Brightlight because I am so fiercely protective of Brightlight and its space in the world. But I knew that Lauren was the kind of person who was gonna honor that. And I would be very, very proud of her no matter where she went, which is a high bar. So um, that is who she is to me. And I know she is such a blessing to the client she works with in private practice, but also at MHDD. And if you guys haven't listened to last week's episode after today, go back and listen to last week's episode. You will hear the depth of her knowledge and her work. She is absolutely just such a blessing and an amazing resource in the whole country. Okay, Lauren. How are you doing today?

Speaker 8:17

I'm doing good. Yeah. Thank you for such a warm introduction. Oh, yes. That was so sweet.

Speaker 1 8:23

You're so welcome. I'm just so proud of you. Even though, I mean, I'm not that much older than you, but I kind of feel like you're auntie. How old are you?

Speaker 8:31

38.

Speaker 1 8:33

I'm not older than you at all.

Speaker 8:34

I mean, I am, but am I 39? I'm 39. You are? I'm 39.

Speaker 1 8:39

Guys, her skin kills. So she really plays like 33. So maybe that's why I feel the anti vibes. Also, if you watch Lauren work out online, this is a possibility. You will feel bad about your ligaments. She does this thing where she kicks her leg up over like a like a hurdle. Oh my God.

Speaker 9:02

Just downtime practices.

Speaker 1 9:04

Oh my God. My hip flexors are like, I don't know about

Building A Holistic Healing Practice

Speaker 1 9:08

that. Okay. Lauren, when did you first start understanding healing as something holistic rather than just emotional or cognitive?

Speaker 9:17

Gosh, I I first learned it myself for myself. You know, you you get into early adulthood and, you know, you start experiencing all the things. And I always felt like pieces were missing. And in fact, they were. I've always been a hard worker, hustler. You know, it doesn't matter what's going on in my mind. I'm gonna get dressed for the day. I'm gonna do the things, I'm gonna do the best job that I possibly can wherever I'm going. I've always been that person. Um, so I I kind of found that I was so successful in different areas of life, but then I'd come home and things just didn't fit. It didn't feel quite right, and I never really understood it. So I started studying, you know, looking things up, incorporating things that I found that my body was receiving well. So running, meditation, praying, talking with family. And I was like, well, wait a second. I'm paying attention to all of these areas in my life, and overall, I'm starting to feel better. It might have been slowly, but nonetheless, I'm feeling better. So I started putting the pieces together and I realized, my gosh, it is all the environments around me that are just as important as the work I'm producing, where I'm at in my professional career, in my educational career, whatever it may be. All this other stuff is equally important. Because when I wasn't paying attention in those areas, I was just like not functioning well. I didn't feel good and I didn't want to not feel good anymore. So then that's kind of stu how I started putting things into practice. And with that, just opened up my world to what my clients were going through. I'm like, well, wait a second, let's pause on what's going on with your relationship. How have you been taking care of you outside of the relationship? What is your relation to, you know, your your other practices, spirituality to food, to nourishment, to um friendships, all the different things. Like, how are you functioning within, like in relation to all the things around you, not just the relationship? Let's not just focus on one thing. And that's when I started seeing clients just open up their world to oh my gosh, it's all connected. And yeah, that's how we started rocking and rolling.

Speaker 1 11:41

I I relate so much, and definitely with my work with my clients, I don't remember being you said something so interesting. You said like I I started to realize that I was feeling better. How old ish were you?

Speaker 12:02

Oh, let's see. Probably late 20s. Okay. Is when I and the reason why I felt I knew I felt better, it's because I didn't care if there was 50 people in the room or if I was standing there solo. I felt great. You know, it just didn't matter. I felt secure, I felt fulfilled. Things were, I felt like things were being poured into me. Um, I was finding myself through all the different, you know, in my relation to all my different environments. And that's when it kind of started clicking. Wait a second, I've been neglecting a lot of areas.

Speaker 1 12:36

Yes, I started to have those feelings around the same time. I think part of it is also developmental.

Speaker 12:42

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 12:43

Because I didn't know that I didn't feel good in my, let's say, early 20s or even mid-20s. I really started to seek a more holistic life, maybe around 26-ish, 27. Like that's when I really started seeking things outside of education and career.

Hustle Culture And The Missing Piece

Speaker 1 13:07

Listener, Lauren and I are from the Valley. For those of you in the Valley, Bhutto 956, I will not say the other one. I cannot say that.

Speaker 13:20

But you know, if you know, you know. If you know, you know.

Speaker 1 13:24

That's right. So we're from the Rio Grande Valley. For those of you who are like, what are you talking about? Because the Wimberley Valley is also called Wimberley Valley.

Speaker 13:32

And there's also a valley in California.

Speaker 1 13:34

That's true. But we're from the Rio Grande Valley, which is um in Spanish, it's pronounced Rio Grande. And we grew up on the border of Mexico and just north of Mexico. So what was important, I don't know about you, but I came from an immigrant and a migrant culture. So hard work was there was no other option. Right. And that has gotten me so very far. I mean, you and I can outwork most people. Yeah. I'm sure.

Speaker 14:09

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 14:10

And that is a what a gift that I learned from my culture. But it was a very in reflection, it was very forward thinking in terms of what are you going to accomplish next? Yeah. What's the next thing you're going to do to solidify your safety, your future, your success. And I came from parents who are so hardworking. So, I mean, they're the hardest working people I know to this day. So there wasn't an option to not work hard. Right. So I think since that was all that I saw, I was just kind of not necessarily had blinders on. I didn't even know I had blinders on. I just thought that was it.

Speaker 14:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1 14:54

Yeah. You work hard, you succeed at your education, at your career. But there is kind of a natural end road in your mid-20s to that, to at least education. There's like a natural pause in the development of a 20-year-old. Like, okay, I graduated college, I got a master's, and I knew I wasn't smart enough for a doctorate. So I was like, I'm out, people. Bye. I did it. I was like, that's that's my exit. Yeah, that's it. So yeah, no, this is not gonna happen. So I that was my natural endpoint, but then I had to start to think, oh, what else is there? Is that kind of what happened for you? And you started to think, what else do I fill my life with?

Speaker 15:41

Yeah, absolutely. Um, it just I never knew what it was. I just knew there was something missing. And I've always been one ever since I was little, very in tune with my energy, the energy of others, the energy in the room. It I have always just had this weird, I don't know, just set of senses. Yeah. And I knew it. I knew something was was wrong. I knew I didn't feel

A Bold Move Toward Purpose

Speaker 16:09

good. Um in my 20s, I told my mom, hey, I I gotta get out of the valley. I'm gonna move. I'm gonna go to San Antonio. She thought it was wild. What are you doing? My friends threw me this huge farewell dinner slash begging me to, you're about to lose your mind. What are you doing? Intervention. Like, do not leave. Like if you were going to Antarctica or something. Yeah, they're like, don't leave. Um, but also we wish you luck, but also don't leave. Um, and I I packed up my entire car and I moved. I did not have a job. I got an apartment, used my saved money, applied everywhere, and I was like, I'm just gonna figure it out. I'm just gonna figure out what's missing. There is something missing. I'm gonna do it. Wow, yeah. It was it was the most wild thing. Um, and yeah, so I moved to San Antonio, and what was really interesting is my first job. Well, I was a trainer for a little bit, you know, trying to pay bills and all of that. And then I got a job at a treatment center. So that was my first time working with youth that had just been through the most horrific things and they were in treatment centers. Um, and immediately, I mean, it is hard work. It is hard, hard work to work in those centers. I loved it. I was like, I'm drawn here. This is why I was meant to move. I noticed that it had fulfilled something that was missing, and that was this passion to help heal, recover, pour into people. It was just this desire I had to help people. And I was like, sweet, this is where we're at. And then that kind of jump-started a new part of my life. And yeah, it's just I took a different approach to how I was feeling. I knew there was a different portion of my life I wasn't focusing on, and I opened up those blinders and then it poured in.

Speaker 1 17:56

Wow, that is so cool that you've had such an internal sense of what you needed.

Speaker 18:01

Yeah.

Speaker 1 18:02

Not a lot of people have that, and certainly not in their 20s.

Speaker 18:05

For sure. Yeah. And I I think that knowing that there is an ability for all of us to just open ourselves a little bit more and check in on those different areas, just knowing that, hey, maybe I should do that thing that that one random girl was talking about, it's just it could, it could, yeah, there could be tremendous changes.

unknown 18:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1 18:28

Yes, if we allow ourselves to make space for the thing, because we can always fill the space with crap.

Speaker 18:36

Totally. Yeah. I mean, we don't need to name the space. We don't need to know what needs to go in. We don't need to know anything. If you just know there's something missing, open up, be willing to receive, check in with yourself, check in with your spaces and seek, right? Seek and receive. And then who knows?

Speaker 1 18:57

Beautiful.

Why Healing Has No Finish Line

Speaker 1 18:58

What are some misconceptions you think people have about healing?

Speaker 19:02

Oh gosh. I think the the biggest misconception is if I do A through Z as prescribed or as directed, I'm gonna feel great. I'm gonna move through this and we're done with that thing. You know, like that horrible thing that I went through, we're done. I did it. And people will commit, they will do all the things the medicine, the sessions, the group sessions, all the you know, the the podcast, the research, everything. But that's not how it works. It just doesn't. There's so many other factors. It's it's your experiences as you're healing. It's that one day at 302 when you smelled something different and it set off a memory and then you're right back down, right? It's the one day that you chose to go on a walk and you saw a tree and a memory came into your head, and that was healing that day, and it made you feel stronger. It's there's it's just like a huge roller coaster journey. You could be, let's say you started your healing journey, recovery journey in your late 20s. You've been doing great, everything's awesome. There you are sitting on a rocking chair when you're 68. Boom, the wave hits you again. Healing is just it can be up and down, and that's okay, right? But it's it's willing to receive what healing can look like. It's letting go of what it should look like.

Speaker 1 20:27

I also think it's redefining it and also knowing that there is no finish line. No. And the goal is not to be healed, right? Like the goal is not to be, you are not a statue that you are chiseling to perfection. You are a human and you could have experienced a hurt. Oh God, something that I I love aging. I love aging because I love the perspective shifts that come with it. Yeah. Something that I realized is that the way let's say you experience a trauma, or I'll speak for myself. Oh, let's say I experienced a trauma. Not let's say I did. Yeah. We all do at some point. So the way I conceptualize that trauma at 22 changed at 28, it changed at 32. It's still changing. Yeah, it's evolving. How I feel it, what I think happened, what I think the meaning was, how I relate to it. Like it just kind of morphs over the years. And I can then take that experience and I can share that with a client. I can say, you know, in session, I can something bad happened to a client, and I can say, name it, give it a name. Yeah. And then you don't have to even commit to that name for your whole life. Right. Change the name in five years. Yeah. Change it in seven years. Mm-hmm. And it's cool to have enough experience, healing, and changing, I guess, evolving. Let me call let me say evolving that I can then hand that piece of wisdom down to somebody who's twenty-two and say, I know this is so hard right now. And how your how your relation to this thing is gonna change over time.

Speaker 22:26

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, I completely agree. I think that the way we move through the world is in relation to our experiences and what we've learned from them, um, how we picked ourselves back up. And I gosh, I love that idea of just evolving through healing. Um, because the weight changes too, right? The weight can shift a million different times. Um, but it's it's learning how to hold what you went through, knowing that it may be a part of you or it will be a part of you the rest of your life because it occurred, right? But knowing how to hold it in the most supportive way, I think is is a good perspective versus approaching healing to extinguish, right? It's just not that's not realistic.

Speaker 1 23:14

I have never extinguished something.

unknown 23:17

Oh no.

Speaker 1 23:18

Have you?

Speaker 23:18

Oh no, I don't know. I hold on to all of it. It's all in there. But it's it's how I'm how I'm nurturing those parts of me, or how I'm holding a memory a certain way, or how I'm holding a trauma, knowing that it exists, but it's how I'm relating to it that is what's evolving, and that's what I care about.

Community As Nervous System Medicine

Speaker 1 23:41

What role does community and connection play in nervous system regulation? What do you think?

Speaker 23:46

Oh gosh, a lot. I think that we are we are not meant to live and thrive in isolation. You've got to have your people, you've got to have your team, you've got to have a community, right? So whether that be a handful of people that you see weekly at a workout class, or it might be your your core family system and y'all move through everything together because that's you know, that's your team. It might be a group of people at work that, you know, I'm look, I'm lucky that I work with just phenomenal, phenomenal women that put everything into nurturing teens. So that's a community for me. I love going to them. I feel, yeah, I just feel completely inspired and motivated when I go there. It's having these different sets of communities and knowing you're not living in isolation. You are not going through anything alone, you belong somewhere, and feeling connected within those communities is also important.

Speaker 1 24:45

And doing the work to belong somewhere also, right? Sometimes I think when we're hurt, we are seeking belonging, but we're also seeking to be invited.

Speaker 24:55

Yeah.

Speaker 1 24:57

And while there is a place for that, it's also really important for us to know we can be proactive about belonging. We can put ourselves somewhere. Um, I am a perfect example. I did not have a radio show a year ago. I was not volunteering a year ago. And thank you, Tim, and KWH 94.3. I I I made myself belong here in a weird way, you know, by make by showing up, by helping out, by contributing, by being friendly. And then, you know, it it requires input, is what I'm trying to say.

Speaker 25:34

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And then from there, that's when all the connection comes, right? You feel that you you've extended yourself. There's different parts of you and different communities and environments, and you've become a lot bigger than just the the singular version of you that thinks that you have to just move through the hard stuff alone.

Speaker 1 25:55

Mm-hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Or that you have to check certain boxes. Sometimes we're when we're around other people and we can just be and then we can connect, we're much less uh motivated, I think, to accomplish certain things. Like it, it's not a task. Yeah. It's more we're in relation.

Speaker 26:17

Absolutely.

Quick Tools For Regulation

Speaker 1 26:18

Listener, I want to give you just a few things. Listen, in the world of Google and AI, you can Google nervous system regulation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It can be so easy to do that. The information is not the problem. What you come to couch time for is relational, and it is to know that you're not alone. And so I'm gonna share with you some things that are quick and easy tools that of course I know you can Google, but I want to share them really quickly. Slowing down between tasks, hydration and nutrition, sunlight and movement, deep breathing, co-regulation with safe people. That's me and Lauren, rest without multitasking, and boundaries around constant accessibility. Lauren, do you want to add anything to that?

Speaker 27:04

I would say uh checking in with whoever it is that you need to find a person.

Speaker 1 27:11

I love that.

Speaker 27:12

Find a person, find a place, find a thing, check in. Give yourself

Part Two Plans And How To Connect

Speaker 27:16

a moment.

Speaker 1 27:16

Listener, I fooled myself in thinking that I could do a 30-minute show with Lauren on holistic healing. That's not gonna happen today. That's not gonna happen today, but you know what? That's okay. We we give it a good start. We will invite Lauren back to do another 30-minute episode of part two of holistic. Lauren, will you come back and visit us? Absolutely. Okay, we need more of this. So, listener, this is part one of holistic healing, and we will come back with part two. Lauren, in the meantime, if people want to get a hold of you, where can they connect with you?

Speaker 27:52

Yeah, so you can reach me at Bright Light. Go to the website. That's true. Go to Brightlight, follow our social media. Um, we do free consultations. We can connect that way, whatever the need is. Let's chat about it, let's talk about it, let's kind of just review all the things and yeah, let's connect and be friends. Let's do it.

Speaker 1 28:15

Listener, she has a fun Instagram. What is your Instagram handle?

Speaker 28:19

Oh my gosh. Rising The Rising Soul.

Speaker 1 28:22

Is it?

Speaker 28:23

The rising soul. S-O-L. Yes, yes, beautiful soul from the valley. That's right.

Speaker 1 28:30

We're bringing it back, folks.

Speaker 28:32

Yes.

Speaker 1 28:33

All right. Let's Lauren, thank you so much for being here. And listener, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for listening to today's episode of Couch Time. Until next time.

Closing Support And Listener Ways In

Speaker 1 28:43

Thank you for spending this time with me. If something from today's conversation resonated, or if you're in a season where support would help, visit me at gattyahollum.com. That's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M.com. You can also leave an anonymous question for the show by calling or texting 956-249-7930. I'd love to hear what's on your heart. If Couch Time with Cat has been meaningful to you, it would mean so much if you'd subscribe, rate, and leave a review. It helps others find us and it grows this community of care. And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send them this episode. Remind them they're not alone. Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up and know I'm right here with you.