The Positive Growth Doctor Podcast
Dr. Christina Wilson created The Positive Growth DoctorⓇ after years of dealing with societal expectations, self-doubt and perfectionism. She leverages 30 years of experience as a positive psychologist to address limiting beliefs and gain clarity to build confidence and navigate obstacles to achieve a healthier well-being.
The Positive Growth Doctor Podcast
Harnessing Tough Emotions: 3 Strategies for Inner Peace and Personal Growth for Women
Welcome to another episode of the The Positive Growth Doctor Podcast®! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.
Emotions are universal. We all have them even if we’re told they seem icky or dirty. Emotions are actually normal.
Yet society tells us, “Oh you shouldn’t be mad.” “Don’t cry.” “Shouldn’t you be over that by now? Like… tick tock!
Afterall, emotions are all in your head, right? Nope! They’re not. You heard me. Emotions are not all in your head.
Sometimes we ask ourselves why we reacted a certain way to something when Suzy reacted a totally different way. Or why didn’t I react the RIGHT way. Well, is there a right or wrong way?
In this episode, we explore the origins of emotion and how to handle them in a way that serves you well in the end. The goal is to grow from the difficulties, and I am going to show you how.
Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.
Please share the podcast with other women to help them grow on their journey through life.
You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!
Welcome to another episode of the The Positive Growth Doctor Podcast®! I am your host, Dr. Christina Wilson.
Emotions are universal. We all have them even if we’re told they seem icky or dirty. Emotions are actually normal.
Yet society tells us, “Oh you shouldn’t be mad.” “Don’t cry.” “Shouldn’t you be over that by now? Like… tick tock!
Afterall, emotions are all in your head, right? Nope! They’re not. You heard me. Emotions are not all in your head.
Sometimes we ask ourselves why we reacted a certain way to something when Suzy reacted a totally different way. Or why didn’t I react the RIGHT way. Well, is there a right or wrong way?
In this episode, we explore the origins of emotion and how to handle them in a way that serves you well in the end. The goal is to grow from the difficulties, and I am going to show you how.
Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.
Please share the podcast with other women to help them grow on their journey through life.
You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!
Societal Expectations Are Different for Women When It Comes to How We Feel and Experience the World
Researchers have found that women are much more expressive when it comes to emotion. However, men show at least equal arousal response to emotions and stressors related to cortisol, blood pressure, etc.
I want to start out with some curiosity questions. Life can be hard, right? Why is it so hard when we experience a loss? It can be a break up or someone who passed away.
Why is it that I feel so overwhelmed or anxious about something, but others around me are cool as a cucumber and not bothered by it? We are going to get to the answers to those questions, but first...
How many emotions are out there? A study from UC Berkeley found that there are way more emotions than we originally thought.
I have always been fascinated with the human mind. That is why I became a psychologist after all. Well, one reason! That’s another podcast episode. Imagine my surprise when I learned just how distinct the mind-body connection really is.
I have been in the field for 30 years. I recall being a young coed at the University of Illinois in my brain and the mind class in an auditorium of 1,000 people. Some of what I learned is out the window already.
What we knew then is really different from what we know now. That is the beauty of research. We continue to learn and evolve as a result.
What Does Science Says About Emotion and the Mind-Brain Connection
Did you know that chemical changes occur in our BODY because we not only experience emotions in our head but also in our heart and our bodies.
This is not surprising since we experience chemical changes in the brain when we experience trauma. There are many studies on combat veterans to substantiate this.
Our neurotransmitters fluctuate and send messages. They activate certain areas of the brain. These areas are responsible for mood and stimulate the autonomic nervous system.
This means that our emotions run through our autonomic nervous system. We often ponder what came first, the chicken or the egg.
Well, when it comes to our emotions, emotions are connected to our bodies and not derived from our thoughts. Your thoughts are formed from your emotions.
I know, right?!
Our sympathetic nervous system is related to the fight or flight response when things are overloaded. Think of it as a motor that is overheated. We need to be in homeostasis, which is where our nervous system runs the best. This is related to our parasympathetic nervous system.
BUT, there is more. It’s not all in your head. It makes its way to your body. Emotions live in our body. The body holds onto negative emotions. You feel it in your neck, your back, chest, and stomach.
That means that you cannot think your way out of this or to a solution. You MUST take care of yourself AND your body.
That is exactly why I have incorporated somatic coaching into my framework. We have to process these emotions and release them! I give you the tools to calm your nervous system as you do this.
Why is that important? Because you cannot think clearly if you aren’t getting oxygen to your brain and you are in fight or flight or feeling overwhelmed.
How Do Women Achieve Calm When Emotions Are High?
There are several things you can do to achieve this. The goal of this podcast is for you to fill your toolbox with many different resources to help support you so that you thrive on your journey as a woman and reach your full potential.
The nervous system is tricky in the beginning, but the more you know, the more you can achieve calm and be where you wish to be.
Here are some things to consider:
- We are not meant to do this alone. When you have others to bounce ideas off of, it makes a difference. When we are in the presence of others, we grow because we see things from varying points of view. Two heads really are better than one.
- Pressure is a way to regulate your system. It is not just for the neurodivergent population who need regulations often. Neurotypicals need this as well.
Side note, I am neurodivergent and so is my son. We need regulation more often than the neurotypical population but this is something that we actually have in common at times.
Weighted blankets are a great way to calm the sympathetic nervous system.
- Identify and feel the emotions- Identifying emotions is important. That is the first step for many reasons. When we recognize an emotion, we can move forward and take action because we know what we’re dealing with.
Consider using the feeling wheel. I include this in my work because it is a great tool. It helps you name the feeling, and that gives you some control, right? Did you know that we have to feel the emotions and process them before we move forward? We can’t just ignore them and hope for the best or isolate ourselves.
I am here to tell you that you can. You can do this. I have enough belief in YOU for the both of us.
Why is that? Because I have been there. It is so hard, but it is doable, and you don’t have to do it alone.
I hope this has helped.
Let's meet up again next week for another episode.