Success Is Not Convenient

Why Everything You Believe About Your Limits Is a Lie With Eleissa Brown

• Bernie Gallerani • Episode 46

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Bernie Gallerani and Eleissa Brown break down the psychology of success for entrepreneurs and real estate agents. Topics include: limiting beliefs and how to break them, the stretching balloon mindset framework, overcoming fear of rejection in sales and prospecting, building confidence as a young entrepreneur, scarcity mindset vs. growth mindset, coaching vs. doing the work yourself, and why tenacity always outperforms natural talent. Whether you're in real estate or building any business from the ground up, this episode delivers raw and practical mindset coaching you can apply immediately.

SPEAKER_03

Hello everybody, Bernie Gallorani. I'm bringing you another episode of Success is Not Convenient. This is a fun one for me because I have a chance to uh, as I've had several other times, working with my friend here, Miss Elisa Brown, who thank you for being on the show with me. And um we've done, I think this is our third one we've done together, right? Maybe is it number three? I think it has been three. Yeah. Yeah, we have a fun topic. Her and I were chatting about um where what what interests we thought we would like to do today in this conversation. And we decided, I think maybe I kind of decided and told you, but I thought mindset um would be a really great topic to address today. And so Alisa, thank you for bantering back and forth, sharing with everybody this topic of conversation today. I think it's probably one that a lot of people are trying to master, the whole what goes on inside the brain, right? The mindset of things.

SPEAKER_00

Me too. Yeah. I'm still it's still work in progress.

SPEAKER_03

All of us, right? Let me ask you this. So tell what does mindset actually mean for you?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, that's a good one. I mean, I think it's the reality that we live in, right? Because I mean, maybe that's not necessarily a definition, but I think the great thing about it is that we can change it based on how we think, right?

SPEAKER_03

So when you say the reality though, is the reality that we live in just the reality we made up?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

That's deep. So go go deeper on that one.

SPEAKER_00

Well, since we can create our own reality, our mindset is the reality that I guess maybe we choose to live in at this moment, right? So if we want to change our mindset, we can change our reality. And I think I've been able to learn that over the years. You've preached that a lot, but I think that it takes actually seeing the changes in your life in order to really believe it.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I think what happens is you fight it because you don't really truly understand it, and you can't understand it because it's the reality you live in. So your um your life that you live in is made up based on what you believe in. And when you change how you believe or you take action towards things, your life changes. Because I think that's happened to you, right? Where let's go back ten years, because you and I've worked together, coaching together and working together for 10 years. What is something that you used to believe in that let's just say 10 years ago, eight years ago, whatever it might be, that you through working on your mindset, you've realized that that was probably just made up.

SPEAKER_00

So many things. I mean, whether it's limitations on, oh, I I could never have this type of car, I could never have this level of wealth or opportunity, I could never make this much money. That was just the mindset or the reality that I was living in. And so then when I would hit that milestone and realize, okay, well, now this is my new mindset, this is my new reality. I was then able to assume a new mindset. And then I was able to then grow into a yet a new one as I took that next step. So I've been able, especially with the business and the opportunities that we have here, I've been so lucky to be able to see these changes evolve relatively quickly in the last 10 years. I hit these milestone after milestone and realized that I can morph into a different mindset or a different lifestyle based on the opportunities that I have. It's really just what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03

No, because I've had the pleasure of working with you on a coaching level, um, there's things where you and I've worked together, where I've shared things with you that you may not have fully agreed with at the time, right? And I'm not even saying you agree with me now, but we can share talk about that a little bit. But sometimes in coaching, and I'm just gonna say me talking with you, but I would say that any coach or any person talking to somebody else, where they say something and you just have this level of doubt, um, and if you if you move forward in it, you start seeing clarity in that. So, do you feel like when a coach talks to you or someone talks to you and you don't see it, you get resistant to it, right?

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

But if you don't move towards it at some level, then you can never experience the change.

SPEAKER_02

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Fair?

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So let's walk through um some things, if we can, and what you and I've worked on together. And for those that are watching this video today, Alisa is our top agent inside of our group. She's a great uh entrepreneur and and a and a very talented sales agent. Um, but like anybody else, you struggle with changing the way you think about things. Yes. So can you give me an example of something in the last 10 years? You can pick it, where I might have coached you on something, you just didn't see it, you fought it a little bit, finally gave into it after fighting it, because I have a ton of stories that I've had an experience like this too, and then realized that it was just your thinking and it wasn't reality.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there's there's so many that come to mind, but I think just most not necessarily recently, but I think the one that that really hits top of mind was when you told me to go out and take more listings. I was always of the mindset that I had to control the situation so closely that I didn't have the bandwidth or the ability to take on more listings. And so I had to keep myself small and in this bubble because I can only service a certain amount of people at a high level. And you challenged me to then basically double that. And when you first told me that, I thought, oh my gosh, like there's no way I can do that and still provide exceptional service. But I pushed through it and I just kind of put my head down, and as I've done since the very first day that I met you, you know, I just kind of had that blind faith. And um, I ended up seeing the value in doing that that I was still able to give exceptional service, but also help more people and make more money.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's fun too, because you and I have worked together for so long, and I I've said to you, it's it's easier to do more business uh than it is to do quite a bit less business. And so um you've heard me say that before, and you and you've you're experiencing um how do you and I think that what you're saying is how do you increase your level of business, provide the great service that you in your brain um decided you wanted to provide. So how do you double and triple that? It almost seems like you're climbing a mountain that can't be climbed. Um, but what's fun is seeing all the other people that work inside of our company who are selling, let's just call it uh, you know, four homes a month versus 10 or 12 or 15 homes a month, as you do. And they look at that and go, Well, I could never do that. Because I think you were there at one time.

SPEAKER_00

I was that person, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And so now what's your message to those people? I mean, what kind of stories do you tell, or what kind of coaching do you give them when they start doubting themselves? Um, how do I how do I handle and close six or eight a month when I'm having a challenge with three a month?

SPEAKER_00

You just have to start. Like that's all I did. If if you would have told me, hey, in 10 years you're gonna sell this amount, I wouldn't have believed you. I mean, you told me that time and time again, but I didn't actually believe you. But I figured, well, I'll just start chipping away and working towards it. And then one day I kind of I put my head down, I was swimming and swimming, and then I came up for air and realized where'd all this come from? Um and so I think the answer is just to start. Don't overanalyze how am I gonna do this or oh, it's gonna be so hard. Like you just have to take one baby step at a time. And as you've talked about, you stretch the balloon. So every time you hit a new milestone, your your balloon or your rubber band has been stretched to a new uh a new width.

SPEAKER_03

And it doesn't go back.

SPEAKER_00

No, it doesn't. So then you realize, okay, that's not so hard. Now let me stretch it a little bit more. And then you're gonna come back and you're gonna say, okay, that was a little painful. But then you stretch it again and again and again, and then you realize your max is now your minimum.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, let's let's let's camp out on this for a minute. So you trusted yourself enough to stretch it, let's just say the first stretch.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I kind of trusted you.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I know, but you still, but you did do the work. I mean, I can coach you, but I'm not doing the work. You're doing the work. I just get to sit back and watch it all happen. But um, as you know, I try to stretch everybody here to grow at a higher level. Uh, few people really take it on because a lot of people create reasons why they can't. Um, and as I'll I I'll continue to stress to people, um, it's all a belief, it's not true. And so if if anybody's listening here um on this, whatever you believe is not true, it's only a figment of your imagination of something you believe is true. It is something that you've bought into that controls your life. Your job, it's your life, right? So our job in our life, we're born, we're we have a um um, we have a uh experience as a child. We have parents that uh either instilled in us positive thinking or stilled in us negative thinking or just didn't instill us at all, but just exist, right? And so we then become an adult and we're stuck, or not stuck, but maybe we're left with a product of Bernie or Elisa that for us it's what we on how we experience life. Yep. But now it's our responsibility to take on our life and build it at a level that fulfills our need.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

But yet we're pushed back into the behavioral pattern that we have. So let's talk about the stretching balloon because this is where I wanted to go with this. So as we're stretching that balloon, you have to have trust enough in yourself to stretch the first balloon out enough to stay stay with it and sustain that level of commitment to see growth, because you still have to stay with it long enough to see growth. Fair?

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And then once you're there, you get a little complacent. I think we all do. We go, woo, we solved that one, right? And then we kind of camp on that a little bit, and then we keep stretching. So, and then we keep stretching, and then we keep stretching. So, how much is the the not the stretching of the balloon? Because that's pretty self-explanatory, but how satisfying is going through the valley of darkness and that stretching to then see the level of success, how much does that fuel you to then keep doing it?

SPEAKER_00

It really is everything, right? Because then at some point you realize, like, okay, maybe you achieve a couple of big goals and you're like, oh wow, okay, like that that was cool, or I never thought I could do that. But once you do it enough to prove to yourself that you really can create any life that you envision, then it almost becomes a game of like, okay, how much bigger can I think and how can I create that? So it goes from, oh, I just want to uh make enough money to survive, and then okay, I want a little bit of savings, and then maybe I buy my house, right? Like it's your minimum needs that you meet. But then once you realize, okay, I've met all of that, then you can either choose to camp out there, or you can choose to then take all of that and say, okay, I've created this lifestyle. What's going to prevent me from creating any life that I can imagine? And so I almost look at it like a game now of like, okay, how much bigger can I think now that I know that I can create whatever life I want.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I I I love that you said a game. I I've done podcasts recently where I always talk about our business as a game for me. Yeah. And it's kind of like you have this board game. You have to take some risks in playing a board game. And you have to have some luck a little bit in in the game. You have to have to roll the dice enough times that your your numbers come up, right? But you have to keep rolling the dice enough times. If you roll the dice 10 times, you might only end up with sevens once. But if you roll it a hundred times, you might roll sevens, you know, 20 times. Who knows? And so that's kind of how I look at everything is it's just a game. Um, and if you play it as a game, then there's no risk. So let's talk about the word risk. Because risk is a lot of what people believe they're doing when they're doing our work or they're an entrepreneur, because a lot of the people that follow us are not only just people in the real estate industry, but they're also business owners and they're entrepreneurs. So let's talk the word risk. What risks did you feel go back in your emotional state that you felt you were taking that were very scary for you?

SPEAKER_00

In the beginning of the business, I was always a very high-level um student. I never thought I would not finish college. That was always just the expectation. Um, and so to go from that pathway and that trajectory to then deciding, okay, do I drop out to start this career that in in that case I really didn't think I had any business doing. But this guy, Bernie Gallery, told me that I could. So I'm getting a good thing.

SPEAKER_03

Your parents probably still hate me for the thing.

SPEAKER_00

No, it all worked out. I mean, come on. But you know, I mean, that was that to me was a huge risk. Like I was changing my the trajectory of my life at that time to try something that I didn't think I had any business doing. But this guy who I met a couple months ago said that I could. So, like, okay, sure, like, let's try it. So I think the risk there was I I was changing my life in a way that I didn't think would be coming down my path, but I did it. And then to try to have the mental strength and capacity to stick to it. Like I then I made the decision, okay, I'm gonna change this trajectory of my life, but then I'm gonna stick with it and I'm just gonna figure it out. And I remember it was it was so hard. And there were so many times when I'm like, man, like I don't think I can do this, this is so hard, but I just knew I didn't have any other option. I quit, I quit college, I dropped out, I wasn't gonna go back and defeat, so I had to figure it out. And so if you just burn the boats, it this business doesn't require any special type of personality or skill. Like if you have tenacity, if you have persistence and you're committed, you can succeed in this business.

SPEAKER_03

Well, wouldn't you agree that's any business? Yes, right? I mean, um, we're in this business that we're in, um, so it's what we relate to. But I've found it's it's so interesting. Before I ever got into real estate, um, a few years before I got into the business, I used to be in franchise sales. And my job was a salesperson to introduce the franchises in which I represented and then walk people through that process of whether or not they were a fit for the business. But what's really interesting, Elisa, is I I didn't realize then what I see now then, like when I was experiencing then, I didn't really understand what I was experiencing. Today, being really into mind um beliefs and levels of motivation that we have and how we create things and how we stand in our own way. I realized so many of those people that operated these franchises should have never been in these franchises, number one. Um not because they weren't smart people, but because they didn't have enough in them to take a risk to really have a successful business. So they in franchising, you can lean a little bit on franchise name and and um and their system, their operating system, which I think franchises are great. There's nothing wrong with those. I think they're really great um opportunities for people. Um it's kind of like here, right? Where in franchising is a lot like being with us. We have an operating system. Um, we we plug you into the system, we call it a plug-and-play system, and we give you almost every reason that you can succeed and eliminate almost every reason you shouldn't succeed or why you shouldn't fail, and yet we still have a high failure rate, as franchise ownership does, and and and so it's not the I've I've realized it's not the system that makes people thrive. Because you could have plugged right into this system as others have done and not succeeded at anywhere near the level that you have succeeded. So your mindset and your determination to be successful was so unique that you reaped the benefits of just working hard and following the system. You're you're you're very coachable that way. So I'm gonna ask you a question, and this could get a little personal, so you decide how you want to answer it. What in your childhood that you experienced do you felt put you up in the best position to be who you are now in the business?

SPEAKER_00

It's so funny because like from an early age, I was always so determined whether it was like I remember in math, like I was never the smartest kid, but I was always the most persistent. So we had these things called mad minutes where you had to like um solve as many math equations in in a minute, right? And so I remember I would just sit there for hours and practice and practice and practice. And then when I got into horseback riding, I competitively jumped horses. And I would ride, I would have every opportunity to ride any horse that I could, and I would just practice, practice, practice. Same thing with volleyball. I would sit there for hours. And so I think what I learned, I don't really know what instilled that in me. My mom was always very competitive, so I think I probably saw her and her tenacity there, but I think just from an early age, it was the persistence and just the willingness to put in the time to master it. Like I don't think there's ever been something that I was naturally just born to do. I don't have the natural gift of the gab or anything like that, but I've been willing to put in the time to master it or close to it, and I think that's what's made me successful.

SPEAKER_03

You know what's fun about coaching you is because I get to coach a lot of people and to hear your response on things, to hear other people's response. If I had a dollar for everyone that told me, yeah, I know that. And I always, it's fun because I'm like, the first mindset problem you have is that you think you've already know the information, but yet you're not putting any of the effort. What I love about you is you've never really shared any of that with me. You you'll share problems that you're dealing with, and we work on solving those problems, and at the end, you're always like, you know what, that's been really great because I didn't think of it that way, or I need to maneuver myself that way. And so what what makes you so unique is your ability to take coaching, be confident in yourself that you're not not that you're not gonna have issues pushing the balloon further out, because you are you're gonna struggle in those areas, I think we all would, but your tenacity uh level, and so yeah, maybe you did have a natural ability, but something stemmed from because your father was self-employed, correct? So you saw entrepreneurship within your family there. Um, you saw your dad and your mom probably work really hard. So, work ethic was that instilled in you in a young, younger.

SPEAKER_00

It absolutely was, yeah. And I think, yeah, I saw both of them grow businesses and things like that. And so I definitely think that that helped with it. But yeah, there's something in there that just is is very uh I'll I'll never let anything go. Like if I if I want to do it, I'll I'll figure it out. I don't always know how, but I'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_03

So is there anything in that we're not blaming parents here, guys? We're not blaming parents. So don't get mad if you're like, Oh, my dad was a great mom was great. Perfect. I I I love that. Um, you're still an influ you're still influenced by how you were raised. Oh yeah. So was there anything in there that that you can recall where um you think you develop some sort of hangup in your personality or um in your life that's because I try to always work on where did I get that from? Yeah, where did that come from? Right? I was trying, and I've actually over the last probably five or six years, have asked myself that question pretty regularly. I wonder where that came from. And I've learned to identify where those things came from within my childhood. So then if I if I can if I can seek the root of it, um, I can if I love it, I'll keep it and flourish off it. And if I don't like it, I have to seek that and try to kill kill that part of it, right? Because it's or change your mindset. It doesn't serve me. Yeah, change that's what it is. Is change my mindset because it doesn't serve me very well. Is there anything in your life where you look at it and go, that really was doesn't serve me well? And so I've had to go down deep and and deal with that issue so I can become a better version of you.

SPEAKER_00

I'm still working on that. And I think like I've I've learned the value of the mindset and kind of that deep internal thought process, right? But I think I'm just getting to the point where I'm willing to like really reflect on that. It's funny because I have a two-year-old goddaughter who I know I talk about a lot, and I see all these videos of like, praise them, but don't praise them too much, or else they become dependent on you, or you know, tell them good job, but don't do it too much. And so I think I've realized that as a parent, ever you're gonna mess them up anyways. But so I think that all of us can we can take a positive situation and almost have spun it into a negative connotation. Um, but then it's how do we identify with that in adulthood and have it be positive. So to answer your question, um, I do think that I had a little bit of a scarcity mindset because uh during the 08 recession, my parents were pretty affected by that. And so I saw them be very successful entrepreneurial entrepreneurial people to then running into um some pretty difficult struggles.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, like a brick wall, as many people did in 08. And what's interesting is I've seen that same thing happen to folks where they operated a fairly successful business, it collapsed, and then it paralyzed them. Um and so I get it, right? I was actually, I had some things that happened early in my 30s where that same thing happened to me. And I grew a very conservative from that, I grew a very conservative mindset. And it was Mike Ferry who uh called me out on that when I was about maybe early 40s. And he said, you know, why why are you thinking that way? And so I said, Well, you know, whatever. And he's like, that is so complacent. Um, that's you're you're you're acting analytical, you're you're you're Scared, you're being complacent, and that's not going to serve you for all the things that you want to do in your life. And so uh that was a tough one to swallow for me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And you start thinking, well, where did that come from? Well, I had some early adult life issues that caused me to retreat.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Maybe that's a little bit of maybe where your parents were at that time.

SPEAKER_00

It absolutely was. And so I was, I was very young at that time, right? So I was kind of going through this and they they shielded me as best I as they could, but I still knew what was going on. And I was actually grateful that they someone involved me in that process because I I learned what not to do in a situation like that and maybe how to be a little bit more responsible with things. But also I realized like I I went from such a protection mode. Like I think when I met you, I was always just in, okay, how do I get things and protect it? How do I protect it? How do I just keep it? Versus now I'm of the mindset of how do I grow it? And so I think that that was a really big thing was I just I went from a very protective mindset to when you're an entrepreneur in sales, you have the ability to grow so much. It's just your own hang up that stops you from it.

SPEAKER_03

If you God, that's that's so good. If you went back 10 years from when you started, but you know what you know now. So you know what you know now. Um as you get older, Elisa, you'll sit there, people will ask you things like, if you could go back 20 years, what would you do different? Right? You're not old enough now to experience that, but but I'm gonna ask you the question if you go back 10 years when you started, but you know what you know, what would be different?

SPEAKER_00

Everything, man. Oh man. I mean, I would have pushed so much harder because there was that fear of am I supposed to be here? Am I old enough? Should I really be doing this? Is this the right answer? Right. But I think all of that hesitation and all of that fear would have gone away because I would have had the answer. Yes, this is what I should be doing. So I think I would have just been that much more committed. We were just talking in the kitchen about the how we show up and our presence and almost the mindset that we have to have with clients and that confidence.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I lacked that for a really long time. So if only I could have had the confidence that I have today in the first five years. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03

I think you were what you were 20 when you started with us. I mean, there I remember the concerns I had with you at 20. And even my mindset towards that probably wasn't very good because I had worked with other folks that were young, and you know, I saw something unique in you. So so I think I didn't really wasn't so concerned about you, but I had concerns about young people at that time. And the challenge, um, and I and and and my coach uh in talking with my coach at that time about you, and he says, Well, it's gonna be how she perceives herself, is what he told me. And he says, But here's her challenge is that when she's going enlisting a uh $500 or million dollar property and she's sitting there at 21 or 22 years old, and that homeowner has kids in college right now that can barely tie their shoes, they're drinking and partying at night. They don't they can't even, they're pretty much dysfunctional young people, and they're gonna relate you trying to sell their house to the kid that they're supporting in college, right? Yeah, and so how did you overcome that mentally? Because that had to have been something that stuck with you every time you walked into somebody's door.

SPEAKER_00

It was tough. I remember when I was calling expireds and I'd see something with a million dollars or more, I'd click off. Like, oh, I'm not gonna call them, right? Um, and so it was it was tough, but I just had to push through. I had to fail forward. There's probably a lot of opportunities that I got in front of that I lost, but I just had to get the experience. Yeah. Um, and then sure enough, at some point I got I got a a million dollar deal done. I thought, okay, well, I can do this. And then I did a two million dollar deal. I'm like, oh, that wasn't that bad. And then you start to build that confidence in yourself. But I think the only way that you can really do it is by getting in there and doing it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, kind of just rolling up your sleeves. I remember you'd come to me and go, Hey, can you go on this listing appointment with me? Hey, can you go on this listing appointment with you? I'm like, Alisa, I'm gonna go with you, but you got to start doing this on your own. And then I finally said, That's it.

SPEAKER_00

Kicked me out of the mess.

SPEAKER_03

I've kicked you out of the mess. You're like, yeah, but this is a million, whatever. I'm like, you can do it, right? And I just I would rather you you had gone out 10 times and failed 10 times. Um, you know, sometimes, and I think you and I were having a conversation about this a week or so ago. Sometimes, you know, you don't you don't teach somebody how to be really good at their job by doing it for them. And even though I knew, Elisa, I was losing opportunities financially, which I was, because I was sitting there putting you who were not confident, walking into a million or two million dollar property and having you screw it all up and coming back without the listing contract. But I had to look at it and go, well, how else are you ever going to learn? Right. And so, and you and I had this conversation a week or so ago when we were having a different conversation. I'm like, um, yes, it grinds on me too to know that we have people that are going out there and not being as professional as they need to be. But how can I help somebody mentally if I'm doing everything for them? And how do they grow? And so I would just say that I always had that feeling about you is that if we don't go through hard stuff, I think we have a society today where I I don't think I totally believe this, that we have a society today that is pretty much dysfunctional because of the way kids were being raised or are being raised, and then you have this crazy world that we live in today, and no one really has a really good hardly anybody has a good work ethic. They have pot they have negative mindsets.

SPEAKER_00

It's easy and it's instant.

SPEAKER_03

It's easy. Well, we live in that world, right? You want food delivered, you can just call Uber Eats, or if you want to uh I love Amazon, so I'm not gonna knock anything about Amazon. It's like give me Amazon or give me death kind of a thing, right? I love it. I love when it says you, hey, would you like to add anything else to today's order that's gonna be delivered? It's like and it's really funny. I always say people, if it isn't on Amazon, I don't buy it anywhere else because I'll do without if it's not on Amazon, right? But uh but this is the world we live in today, right? And I think about like the world I lived in when I was first starting out in real estate, and I was having to hand dial all those phone numbers, those expireds and by owners. Um now today they have double line and triple line and quadruple line and eight numbers at a time, and it's like so many phone calls are going on through automated systems, and yet you still can't get an agent to wrap around their mind to get on the phone and call people, right? So, and because I I pushed that pretty hard on you. I pushed prospecting, prospecting, lead gen, lead gen constantly on you. Did it ever grind on you mentally? Did you ever get to a point where you're just like, this is just ridiculous?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, it's it's tough because it is like it's it's emotional, whether it's prospecting or whether it's getting in front of clients and losing the opportunity, like it is it is mentally challenging to have to be rejected and know, okay, I wasn't good enough for that. Then you can choose to either take defeat or learn from it and grow. And so, but prospecting, it's like on steroids because like you're uh defeat, defeat, defeat, and then like, oh, okay, finally a win, but like I had to call 50 people in order to get there. Um, so I'd say prospecting, that's the tough thing about it. But when you start to win, it's very rewarding.

SPEAKER_03

So, how much of that defeat, let's go with the mental side of being defeated while lead generating. So, for those that are listening, lead generating is prospecting for clients and opportunities to help a buyer or seller, um, buyer sell house. So you get on the phone, you get rejected, you get rejected, get rejected, and you think it's them that's rejecting you, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, sometimes it no what is it? It's them not being ready at that time, but also how much of are they rejecting you because of what you're putting off too? I learned that that valuable lesson that you know I was putting off a certain lack of confidence. Um, so then they were almost rejecting that. And so I think it's it's twofold, right? It's are uh is it just no right now? And also what am I doing to maybe get that response?

SPEAKER_03

Well, maybe also because this is a really mental side of this game where people think that they're being rejected all the time. And I'm believe they're rejecting you more because you're not as skilled. Is that fair? Yes. So you're you don't really know what to say or have the ability to keep the conversation going where um you're ultimately three good questions changing their perception of you. Right? I I had a um an NLP coach once and he used to say, you know, you're talking to somebody that's typically in a different tribe. And so you have two tribes, you're in one tribe, they're in the other. And so how do you get them to accept you? It's not them, it's not you accepting them, it's them accepting you because they're the only ones that matter. But uh when we prospect and we are who we are, meaning if I bring Bernie to the phone and I don't bring an empathetic understanding, repeating and approving and making the answers they give be the right answer. If I make them wrong in any way, if I don't have empathy and understanding, then I'm not bringing them towards me.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_03

So the more I agree with them, the more I bring them towards me. Most people don't stay in it long enough to learn the skill that causes those appointments to be hardly any appointments at all, to an abundance amount of appointments, which is where you are now. So, what's the mental side of you saying staying sustained in the process, getting rejected, getting rejected, getting rejected, getting rejected? Little glimpse of call me next week, getting rejected, getting rejected, call me back, getting rejected, getting rejected, getting rejected. It's just constant.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

How do you keep going? Was it that you saw other people having success that allowed you to do? What was that for you?

SPEAKER_00

Not really, because I didn't think I could do what those other agents were. So I saw the other agents in our office that had success, but I didn't truly think I could do that. I always thought, oh man, they're so much older than me. They have more life experience, they've been doing this longer. I could, I can't do that. So it wasn't that. It was more of just that persistence in me of like, well, I don't have any other options. I burned my boats. I've got to figure it out. So I'm gonna do the best that I can do. And so I didn't really necessarily believe that I could sell 50 or 100 houses, but I knew that I didn't have any other options, so I was just gonna be the best that I could be and and do what I could do.

SPEAKER_03

So you did did you divorce yourself from the idea that you could be that person, the other agents that were doing it at a higher level, and that you just decided that you were just gonna do the best job you could.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So you had to give them up their success and just try to fall into improving your on your own. Yeah, is that a good idea?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, I I think it was nice to know, like, okay, it's possible, but I just didn't really identify with it because I I couldn't, I couldn't see myself in them. Like I there was nothing that I could really relate to. So for me, I just kind of felt like okay, I was like out on this island by myself, but you told me I could do it. And so I was like, well, okay, like I'll figure, I'll I'll figure it out. I'll do it, I guess.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you've been around me 10 years. I tell everybody they can do it. Most most really don't. So it's it's always a a challenge.

SPEAKER_00

When you're talking about an interesting thing came to mind when you're talking about um like the franchise and a plug-and-play system, I almost think about it like baking a cake. I'm not a baker by any means, but like you give us all the ingredients, you give us the mixer and the bowl and everything. We are just have to, we're the ones that have to push the button and be the mixer. And so if you're not willing to actually put in the work to mix the ingredients, then you're not gonna have a cake. But you give us everything to be able to do it. We just have to do the manual labor.

SPEAKER_03

You just have to do the manual labor. Yeah. Have I have I made it too easy? Do you think?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know, maybe.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Well, I I've had to make it that easy because I I it's so challenging. Um, and I and I've had these conversations. I was having actually uh a conversation like this this morning uh with somebody in the gym, and I was saying, whatever you think this is, whatever happens, you're going to have a time where you want to quit. Did you have that?

unknown

A lot.

SPEAKER_02

A lot.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm glad to know that now. A lot. I would have never known that.

SPEAKER_00

No, and even now, like I don't ever think, oh, I'm gonna quit, but there are definitely times when I struggle and I'm like, man, like, what am I doing? You know, but then but I think the nice thing is that as you become more mature in your business and in your mindset, you realize like you you catch it quickly and then change it. Versus before I would just kind of spiral of like, oh my gosh, like how am I gonna turn this thing around? But I think that that mindset control helps you catch it quickly so that you can change it.

SPEAKER_03

So what when you when you're down like that mentally, you feel like, oh, I want to quit or I wanna I want to go do something else and this isn't worth it or whatever. How do what what techniques or tools did you use for yourself to to put yourself in a different frame of mind?

SPEAKER_00

Um I mean, I think I just again reminded myself like I didn't give myself any other options. So I had to figure it out, like buck up or get out. And getting out was not an option. Uh so I had to put my helmet on, you know, life's hard sometimes, put a helmet on. Um and I think then I would I would try to step away for a second, right? Like do something to kind of get myself out of my head, right? So whether for me it was riding my horses. Um, but for some people, maybe it's playing a sport or going on a quick little mini vacation, you know. I there was one time I like went to the beach for the weekend. I'm like, I gotta get out of here. So just kind of get myself out of my mind and out of my situation.

SPEAKER_03

Remember that when you went to the beach.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. Go to the beach. Um, but I just did a quick little mindset shift and change, and then I came back and I was like, okay, I'm I'm ready to go. So I think like kind of getting yourself out of that situation to then come back with a fresh, clean mindset, reset your goals, make sure that they're attainable, make sure that they get you excited, and then go to work.

SPEAKER_03

Let's go down the road of that mindset. Do you blame other people? You're talking about you personally. Do you blame other people or systems? Or do you look at yourself and go, I'm the problem?

SPEAKER_00

It's all on me.

SPEAKER_03

But do you did you believe that then?

SPEAKER_00

I did.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's always on me. Now, it doesn't that doesn't mean that I couldn't be frustrated at a situation or a client or another agent or something, right? Like, yes, there's always those frustrations, but at the end of the day, it's always on me, whether it's someone else's fault or mine, because I'm the only person that I can control. So if it's on me, then I can control it and I can change it.

SPEAKER_03

Why do some people blame other things other than themselves? Like, because you have a really strong mindset. So I appreciate you saying I blame me, because I have to blame me too every time something doesn't go right. I always blame me. Um, but that's also gives us room to grow when we blame ourselves because we can control it, right? So you blame you, you go back, you have some time to yourself. What kind of reflection goes on inside your brain? Because you have to you go on this trip to the beach. And I know you probably have had other things too, but you go on this trip to the beach and you you pity yourself a little bit, you're kind of down and out, like, shoot, this is harder than I thought. Oh, I don't know if I really like this, and you start all these crazy things that go inside your brain. You go lay on the beach, what do you tell yourself?

SPEAKER_00

You kind of go through like almost like the five stages of grief, but like maybe in a little like mini version, you know. But yeah, like you go through the anger, you go through the sadness, you go through the depression and the, you know, wondering what your other options are. And then I just kind of rem remind myself with clients, we always talk about going back to motivation. So I almost do that like I try to resell myself on like, okay, what was my motivation? Why did I do this to start with? What, what are the positives that I've gotten out of this? And then reminding myself all of the great things that this business and this life has given me. And now today it's very easy for me to be able to look back and be like, what else am I gonna do that provides me this opportunity? And the answer is nothing. So I don't really have any other options. So it's really easy for me to do that now.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I love that. That'll take us to the next thing we're gonna talk about. Um, you've actually, because of your income level, which is extremely severe, and you um have had an amazing financial earning life for the last 10 years. You were earning lots of hundreds of thousands of dollars in your early 20s. You were earning, let's call it a half a million dollars at 25, and then it continued to keep growing from there. Now you're 30, right? You almost worked yourself out of every other job possible on the planet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's pretty cool, huh? And I didn't even have to go to college.

SPEAKER_03

You don't have to have to go to college. But I I always I always say, I think about that for me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And I I'll tell you a funny story. I have a friend of mine, and because people watch this video, I won't say that person's name, but that person retired for a short time and then came back into the business. And I was talking with with him one day, and he goes, you know what's really cool? He said, I'm not really qualified for much other than this business that I did. And he said, and and I said, That's right. And he goes, but the really crappy thing is, he goes, nothing could ever pay me more money than the money that I've earned. So I've actually, by being in the real estate business and doing this job at a high level, I have absolutely worked myself out of every career on the planet because nothing is going to pay me the kind of money that I make in this business. Do you feel that way?

unknown

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03

Like, what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03

Where would you go? Let's say you couldn't never, let's say the that someone said to you right now, you can never sell real estate again. I mean, you clearly be taking a pay cut somewhere. What would you do?

SPEAKER_00

Start another business, I guess. I mean, I think that's the great thing about what we do in like the way that our minds think, right? Is that like we'll always figure something out, but it would be another kind of sales or it would be another type of you know, entrepreneurial business. And and that's what you told me. You said you could either go to college and get your degree, spend six figures a year getting your degree, or you can get your PhD in sales. And I think that's the great thing is I got my PhD in sales. I got my little you should give me a diploma.

SPEAKER_03

I should actually do something like that. Um I'm gonna do something like that.

SPEAKER_00

I I mean But now I know I can go. I mean, sales is so versatile. I mean, it is such an incredible skill.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, you just got your $200 million uh award this last year. I did $200 million in sales, does that blow your mind?

SPEAKER_00

When it'll be five, when will it be five? Like that's that's how I think.

SPEAKER_03

At your rate, right now, you did 50 million last year.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So, you know, I don't know how long I mean it's really up to you. How long until you get 500 million?

SPEAKER_00

A couple more years. But I I it is funny because I mean, I've I don't know what else I would do. I but I think the skill that I've built learning sales will give me other opportunities, but no, I mean, there's I can't go get a salary job or go to corporate America. Like that's I am oh I'm I'm not qualified to do that, but I'm also like overqualified in certain ways. It's a funny thing.

SPEAKER_03

It's almost any job you take is a pay cut.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like no matter what it is, right? I have friends of mine who are doctors, and you know, I I know how much some of them make, and I was like, man, I wouldn't, I couldn't work for that kind of money. But think about how long they went to school, how long they went to school, all the education they have, all that money that they had to pay back before they ever could earn. And I mean, they're talking about not only uh college and then medical school, then under then uh residency, right? And then you look at all that time until that real money starts coming in, and then they're fast and furious trying to pay all that stuff off so they could actually have a doctor's life. Yeah, and all we had to do was go to real estate school what you were licensed, and how long did it take you to graduate real estate school? Oh my gosh, three months, three months, two, three months, yeah. So you go to real estate school and you you get a license and you learn how to sell, and next thing you know, you're making several hundred thousand dollars a year. You're like, this is pretty darn good, right? And then we're like, keep going, keep going, keep going, right? So, how do your um I obviously your parents are very proud of you, and I know that because I know your parents really well. Um, what were some of the negative things they saw when you started this whole thing? And they just said, Oh, I'm really concerned. Because your dad would call me and he'd be concerned about a few things. Oh, your dad, your dad would call me and go, I'm concerned about this, and I would I'd talk him off the ledge.

SPEAKER_00

Oh man, I mean, it was every step of the way because you you again were you were not only changing my mindset, but then like I was also kind of trying to change theirs because I was living under their roof, right? So I wasn't just like kind of doing my own thing. They would they would directly see all of these things, right? So it started with dropping out of college. That was a fun conversation, but they knew that I was responsible. They knew I wouldn't have made the decision on a whim. So, like, okay, well, I guess I guess we'll see if it works out. But I always said I'll give it a year. And if it doesn't work out, I'll, I'll, I'll go back to school. But I never went back. Um, then it was the struggle of not only learning how the business, but learning how to be an adult at the same time. Like I was learning two really big life skills at the same time how to be an adult, how to be mature, and new business. And like you said, clients having children older than me. I mean, that was a tough thing. And so I'd I'd call my dad all the time, be like, Oh, I can't do this. This is so hard. I'm terrible. Or my favorite was when I was role playing. There's a great agent that you um got me in touch with John Hoffman down in Florida.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And he was my role play partner. And I remember 6 a.m., he called me for our first role play. And he said, Okay, I'm gonna be the age, or no, I'm gonna be the client. And I think we role played. And then he goes, Okay, what was my personality style? And I couldn't say it. Like I was so nervous. And we hung up and I cried. And I was like, I'm just gonna go flip hamburgers at McDonald's. I suck at this. Right. So they had to see me go through all of this like personal change and and learning, and it was, it was really hard.

SPEAKER_03

Do you? Know I've ever told you this, but do you know that those role plays and those hard conversations that he had with you were all planned?

SPEAKER_02

And he no, I didn't, but that doesn't surprise him.

SPEAKER_03

Because he he would say to me, How do you want me to to to work this into this role play into teaching her? And I said, Listen, you have to be hard on her because she can handle it. And you you just if you have if you have to hang up on her, hang up. I don't know if you ever hung up on me, but if you have to hang up on her, hang up on her. I got hang up, I got hung up. I was role-playing with this guy, and I think I've told you this story. Ira Nadich. Ira, I love him though. He's awesome. He's still a great friend of mine. But I'll I met him. I was a month in the business, a month and a half in the business, and I met him. And he was, you know, to me, he was a huge agent at that point. He was making lots and lots of money, selling lots of houses. And uh I said, Hey, do you want to roleplay with me? Not realizing what I got myself into. And we were on the phone role-playing, and I was so bad, he actually hung up. Well, he said to me, He goes, Bernie, I gotta be honest with you. He says, You're my worst role play partner. And he says, I'm not gonna let you bring me down practice, and then we'll get back together. And he hung up on me. And I'm like, You son of a gun, man. Like, I wasn't honestly. So then I role play with him. I was a little bit better, but he was still so intimidating that when he would call me, I wouldn't answer. I'm like, I can't prepared to go through it. I can't go through this mentally. Because it's mentally like you're you're fighting, you're fighting you, you're trying to make a living, um, you want to be good, and then you got people just bringing you down. But I love that because what happened was it just made me become a better salesperson because I had to practice more than probably everyone else did, because I had Iron Aid hanging up on me and calling me, hey, you're not very good at this.

SPEAKER_00

You're accepting the beating.

SPEAKER_03

You're yes, like, and I would practice and practice and practice and practice and practice constantly. And he and I actually have become really good friends, and we role-played for a lot of years, and and thank goodness he was that way. Um, but we always talk about the mindset. How do you continually take on these people like John Hoffman, as you just mentioned, continue to get on those phones with those people? You're getting the living crap beat out of you every day on the phones calling people, and then you get a role-play partner and they're worse than the people you talk to on the phone. How does how does that resonate in your head?

SPEAKER_00

I think looking back now, I realized that it was the best thing for me because it expedited this curve, right? Like you think, like, okay, I start here and I need to be here. Am I gonna do this real slow or am I gonna do this? And I think the way that you expedite it is by having those harder conversations quicker. Because then you learn. And I remember he would tell me, okay, say this. And then I'd like literally write it down verbatim and I'd resay it, and he's like, No, that's not the way that you say it. It's like that, and it was just no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then finally you'd you'd get it because it's not what you say, it's how you say it. But it's it's learning all of the nuances that the pros have. And so to have the exposure to those people was so invaluable. I mean, most people don't get that. Um, but I had the ability to be able to talk with those types of people very early on. So I was very grateful for that. But I think looking back, knowing that it got me there that much quicker, but in the middle of it, man, it's tough. It's tough. But you just have to know that that that's the only way to success. Like they have that success and they're pouring that onto you. Soak it up.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you know, I and I think I've shared stories with you before where I had gone through these um really uh low times in my life where um same, same as you, same emotional uh working on my disconnection to what I was doing because and not only was I working on a disconnection, but I was trying to create an alliance to others that were within coaching where I'm like, oh, this is not good, I don't like this, whatever. And I was kind of I was making myself feel good because I was expressing my negative thoughts to other people and trying to create an alliance in that way. And then I'll never forget like um hearing Mike talk on a video, and he wasn't talking to me personally, but he was talking on a video, and he says, If you have a negative mindset which happens from time to time, he says, put yourself in a position where you're constantly repeating positive thoughts and affirmations in your head and do it for 30 straight days. Well, I I had purchased or I think I had uh received as a gift from Mike these like 18 CDs that those things I'm date myself, but when they had the CDs out, at least I'm not talking about cassette tapes, because that would really date myself. I remember it.

SPEAKER_01

It was in a big plastic. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And there was like 18 or CDs in there or something, and one of them was the mindset CD. And what Mike said is if you're feeling this way, and he and again, he wasn't talking to me, he was just talking on a recording, and I was listening to it, and my mindset was torched. And he says, Whatever you do, from time to time, he goes, That'll happen. And what you need to do is you need to uh not just listen to one motivational video, but listen to it over and over again every single day for 30 days straight, and it'll solve your problem. And so that's that was me. That was exactly where I was at. Um, I think a lot of people can relate to that, right? Because a lot of people get there as you you were there, and so I did that for 30 days, and I somewhere around 20 days, right? Might have been halfway, but somewhere around 20 days, I started thinking, you know, everything he's saying on this mindset CD has everything to do with my own control. And I started like realizing, wait a minute, my bad attitude is actually a choice. My belief system is what's causing the bad attitude. And if I just change, and I'll tell you what got it for me. I started thinking about all the things that I wanted that I didn't have that I thought would excite me or did excite me. And I remember saying to myself, you know, if I really apply myself this year and I just keep my mindset, I can have the car of my dreams. And at that point you heard me tell the story, it was an Aston Martin DB9. And so I put I remember cutting the picture of the Aston Martin out, and I put it up on the on my little dream board that I had in my prospecting room. And I'd look at that thing and look at that thing and look at that thing. And what was interesting, that same year I went to Italy, and I remember like meeting all these Mike Ferry agents who would say, if you put all these pictures up all over the place, um, you'll start realizing things show up in your life. Right? So that was where I got the DB9, like the Aston Martin. And so I put that up along with other things. I had rental properties up there, I had dream vacations. I even got Wendy to start doing her dream uh dream board and all the things that she wanted. And it was so ironic. So in the end of whatever year this was, and I'm I'm going back. I mean, Kylie, I think maybe was in going into high school or something, middle school to high school kind of a thing. So this was a while back since she's 31 today. But I remember like um having all these things up on this wall, and some things I acquired, some things I didn't. But what really got me was I was in Venice, Italy, and I'm standing near the water, and I looked at Wendy and I said, It is so weird. I have been here before. Well, she knows I've never been there. I'm like, it is the most surreal thing. Like, I I this is familiar, familiar to me. And she's like, Well, you know, you've never been here before, and whatever. And I go back to my office and on my wall, which was actually not planned, it was just on my wall, was a picture of this exact location I was standing at in Venice, Italy. And to me, I'm like, this looks so familiar. And why it looked familiar to me is because I was stared at it every single day, but I I knew it was Venice, Italy. I just didn't pay any attention. It was just a picture that I had hung on the wall. And then when we got back and all that experience happened, a week later, Wendy pulls this dream board off of her in her office and she goes, Look at all of this. She says, I've accomplished everything on this dream board, but it just happened by accident. And I went, Wow, this mind is so powerful, right? Um, now back to the car because the car was my motivation to get my head in shape. Now I didn't buy the car, I bought something different that was equally, if not more expensive than that particular car. But I started realizing that my attitude, my expectation, um, my realizing that if I look in the mirror and I blame myself for everything, I'll be able to change it all. And that was where my mindset really started to shift that says, if I believe I can't have it, I won't. And if I believe I can have it, I absolutely will. So why not just believe I can have it?

SPEAKER_00

Well, and it's hard because to someone that hasn't experienced it, it sounds woo-woo, it sounds weird. I didn't buy into it, right? I'm like, okay, that's like, oh, you put it out in the universe and it'll come to you. Like, I didn't believe in any of that. But I think the my first experience with that was it was like maybe my first or second Mike Ferry event. There was a woman up on stage and he was interviewing her. He was asking her, you know, how much do you make? What kind of car do you drive? And she said, I drive a Maserati convertible. And I remember like looking at this woman and being like, man, like that would be so cool. Like I will have made it if I could have a Maserati and then be up on the mic very stage. Like that would be so cool. But I I could never get there because I was, you know, 20 years old in the first year in the business. That that'll never be me. So then fast forward, however, well, seven, eight, nine years, whenever it was. So I'm shopping for a new car. And I'm like, you know what? Like in the back of my mind, I had not thought about that situation like in a long time. Okay. But I was shopping for a car and I'm like, I think it'd be cool to like treat myself to a Maserati. Like, that's a cool car. Like, I've I've done well, like, I'm gonna go get myself a Maserati. So I did. And then sure enough, like right after that was when I got invited to go up on stage.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then I remember like being up there and people were asking me questions. And then, like, boom, all of a sudden, it like took me back like eight years or however long it was. And I remember thinking like how cool it would be to be up on stage and for Mike Ferry to ask me what type of car I drove. And I could say, I'm gonna drive a mum's or body.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He didn't even ask me what kind of car. So he kind of killed my dream. But it made me realize like I just I have this thought. And then sure enough, six, seven years later, right? It's not like I thought about it all the time, but it just it happened. And so then when I realized that, I realized the power of just like what where your energy goes every day. When of it is it? Where um something where your focus goes, energy flows everything.

SPEAKER_03

Focus goes, energy flows.

SPEAKER_00

So, you know, and so now I I really see that. And the great thing is that now I'm in a position where like I can put things up on my dream board and know exactly how I'm gonna get it. I think the hard part is when you put things up there and you're like, well, I have no idea how I'm gonna do this, but then you get to a position where you're like, you know what, I know exactly how I can do it. Maybe I don't know every little thing, but I know I I have trust in the process, I have trust in myself that I'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that's a cool, that's a cool um turn to make in life.

SPEAKER_03

So as we wind this interview down, because I love everything about mindset, and this I think we've we've we've hit it where exactly I wanted to go, but we're gonna go one step deeper on you here. Okay. What is it right now that intimidates you in your business or in your life that you would like to accomplish, but it freaks you out a little bit?

SPEAKER_00

I think anytime you grow the extra step, it's always uncomfortable, you know. So for me, like I think the more that I have, like I still have a little bit of that protective nature, right? So back when I was 20 and I didn't have anything, like it was a little easier to burn the boats because I didn't have anything to protect. And so, but now I have I have a life, I have, you know, some money, I have some rental properties, like I have things. And so the more risk I take, the more that I am risking is in my mind, right? So I think like going to the next level, whether it's selling 150 or 200 homes, or it's, you know, hey, I'm not gonna work with this client, I'm only gonna do this. I mean, that's that's a little bit scary, or to kind of push the level, right? Like, hey, I'm gonna go from carrying this amount of listings to that amount of listings. That's that's scary. So I think I think it's just moving to the next level and trying to figure out like, okay, what does that process look like? And what do I have to give up in myself in order to get there?

SPEAKER_03

So when you you just said something, you were you didn't really have a lot to protect because you didn't have anything. This is gonna hurt when I say this for the.

SPEAKER_00

I still have nothing.

SPEAKER_03

But do you really have something that you couldn't? Do you have something right now that you couldn't replace? No. So do you feel at all that protecting what it is you do have could prevent you from seeing ultimately what you'd like to do. 100%.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's it is it is robbing me of my opportunity to have even more. And that's where I'm sitting here preaching. Oh, well, you can have whatever you want, right? But it is still a little bit of that that chatter in my mind of, well, you have to protect what you've got. Don't be too risky, right? So I think for me, it's just breaking through that barrier. We say every level's another devil. I feel like I've got another level and another devil coming.

SPEAKER_03

Um, I think we all we always do, though, because no matter what you're thinking of today, and in you accommodate, it's like the Maserati, right? By the way, it was a beautiful car. Um, but you move past that onto other things. Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Right. It's like, okay, that was cool. Now what?

SPEAKER_03

Well, yeah. And so it's fun because um, and you know, I've had some really nice vehicles, and so I look at things and go, what else could I buy that would excite me?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And you you really you start almost, it's weird. You have different compartments and stages, and when you think that you're like, okay, well, now I've accomplished all of this, I live in a beautiful home and I've been on really great vacations and I have really nice cars and and a lot of money in the bank. And so you look at this and go, what else is next? And you have to really get creative because all the little things you dreamed of when you didn't have any money, you start checking those off your box list, right? Did that, do that. You've been around the world, you were just in Fiji, right? You've been to you on vacations and really nice vacations, you go meet some of the best people, you go to all these great seminars, you get to drive really nice vehicles, you live in a great home, you have rental property, you have money in the bank, you have investments, you have friends. You look at this going, oh gosh, life's pretty amazing, right? Like, what's next? Yeah, but you really have to get creative in your thinking, would you agree? Like you really have to change because now you're in a position where the things you thought you wanted that you did, the things you desired that you now have, those things are knocked off the so you need to create a whole new list.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

And that's harder now.

SPEAKER_00

It is.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's harder now. And so, gosh, that is that is uh that is so great.

SPEAKER_00

But there's always a whole nother lifestyle, and that's what it's like. I think it's really cool in the world of social media is that the availability to information is so abundant. So it's like you can then go look at how the 1% live, right? Like, okay, well, they only fly private. Or I was watching, I saw some video with the Kardashians and she was like, When's the last time you went to the grocery store? And she goes, Well, I don't know, like 15 years ago, you know. So it's like, how can I get to that point where like I don't have to go to the grocery store for 15 years, you know, or like, oh, I haven't been in the nail salon in 10 years because they come to me. So it's like, I think that it's really cool because you can get insights on these this lifestyle that otherwise was inaccessible. So you can envision more than you could even 10, 15 years ago.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah, you know, I have a friend of mine, Sarah, who lives up in the DC area, and I went to her house, I was in a mastermind event, went to her house, and she introduced me to her house manager. I'm like, what does a house manager do? She goes, Well, they manage the house. I'm like, well, what does that mean? She goes, Well, all the grocery shopping, the bill paying. She organizes like all the people that come, the house cleaners and the landscapers, and everyone, that she's the house manager. I'm like, I need a house manager. I never thought about having a house manager, you know. Um, but talking about risk. Um I asked Mike Ferry a few years ago um what his risk tolerance was. And at that point, he was like, I think in his late 70s. And he says, Well, I think he was 78. He says, At 78, my risk tolerance my risk tolerance is a lot less than it used to be. He says, But if I was 65, I would gamble at all. He goes, I would roll the dice on all of it to try to go to the next level. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I'm only 30, so let's go to Vegas.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, that's my point. I was so I was thinking, well, at that point, I think, because I'm 59 today, so I was probably 56 or 57 when I asked him that question. And I'm thinking, he said 65, and I'm sitting there going, I'm trying to protect, I'm trying to protect, I'm trying to protect. And what was really funny when I asked him, as he and I were coaching together, and I was kind of complaining about my business not growing in the way it should. And he's like, Well, well, have you done this and this and this, like you did when you first started? And I'm like, No. And he says, Well, there's nothing wrong with where you're at. He goes, but why do you expect to grow when you're not rolling the dice on any game? You're not gambling anything. You're just surviving. And I'm like, Yes, that's exactly right. He goes, Nothing wrong. He goes, You've done you've had a really great, great life. And Alisa, you've had a really great life. But it's not inspiring unless you go to the next level.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and that's the thing.

SPEAKER_03

I think I For you, I mean, for me, I'm inspired, but for you, you're like, yeah, there are other things I want.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I think about the years that I've had the biggest exponential growth. Like, okay, maybe I look back, I'm like, oh, I could never survive on what I made there. But the years that I actually grew the most were my first year in the business when I burned all the boats and I learned this business. I took a really big risk dropping out of college. That was like my first big life risk. And boom, I went from making $200 a week to I made six figures my first year.

SPEAKER_03

I think I paid you $250.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Sorry. Something like that.

SPEAKER_03

I think I paid you two. Don't shortchange me.

SPEAKER_00

Something like that.

SPEAKER_03

Maybe it was $200. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Like going from that to $100,000, that's a big deal. That was a big jump. And then the next time was I doubled my income the year that I bought my house. That was a huge risk. I put the most amount of money I'd ever spent on anything in my life, any cash, and I dumped it into that property. It was super uncomfortable, but then boom, my income doubled. And so I realized that the biggest growth and the biggest jumps I've had in my life are the times when I was willing to take the risk. Yeah. And so I love that.

SPEAKER_03

I was I what came to my mind was when you drove that Jeep into our parking lot and you were so analytical and you're like, I want to buy it. I don't know. And I think your payment may have increased by 100 bucks or something. 50 or 100. It wasn't a lot, it was very little actually. And um you were, I think you're driving this Camaro. You weren't really making a whole bunch of money. I was paying you two or two fifty a week or whatever I was.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think my payment was like a one week's salary because I remember I'd take my first week's salary and I'd pay my car, and I take the second week's salary and go shopping for new clothes because I didn't have any clothes. So I would go to Marshall's and then the other two weeks was savings.

SPEAKER_03

I don't think you had a plan. That was good. But I remember you like you pulled in the parking lot. I don't think you had the full-on uh big feeling fuzzy and warm with your your dad because I don't think he didn't really want you to spend the extra money. Um, and I sat in the car and I looked at him like, this is great. And you said, Well, what do you think? I said, Do you like it? And you said, Yep. I said, Can you afford it? And you said, Yep. I'm like, I don't have any issues with it. You you love it, just do it. Right now you think about that Jeep that you had into where you are today. Yeah. Right. And it's fun to connect the dots. And the last thing I guess I can say in all of this is I heard the best thing, and I think it might have been from Fahad Assad out in out in uh Florida, out in Naples. And she was talking about her success, and Mike was interviewing her, and I love what she said. She says, the best way to really get happy about your business is looking back and connecting the dots from where you started and looking at all the tough times that you went through and all of the tears and the flights to Florida to sit on the beach and all the frustrations that you have. You have to go through all of those things to experience the life you have today. And then, Alisa, you have to repeat those emotions again. But here's the difference you now believe in you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Before you were trying to test who you really were and find out who you were, and now you know who you are. And anytime you go through any of those emotions, you're like, this is just part of the step. And that's where I am today. Like I put myself in some uncomfortable situations around here with the company. And I always tell myself, I've been through this a hundred times. I'm feeling a little vulnerable, I'm feeling a little bit nervous. Um, God, I'm risking a few things. Um, but gosh, I've done this so many other times. I know this is just a season. Trust the process. Similar feeling?

SPEAKER_00

Yep, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03

Love it. Well, thank you for a being a great coaching client. Number two is um thank you for making the decision. I always I've always said to everybody that um at least as my anomaly in that I get to uh coach somebody who really works hard, tries hard, and you've become such an inspiration for everybody in here. And so continue to keep doing all those great things and never, never, never stop being uncomfortable because that's where growth comes from.

SPEAKER_00

Well, thank you. I appreciate your time and thanks for believing in me.

SPEAKER_03

You're the best. If you guys have any questions for Alisa, feel free to give us some uh any any comments or notes below. Um hit our like button. Button and our subscribe button. We want to continue to keep bringing all these things. Hope you guys have enjoyed it. If you have any thoughts, let us know. We'd love to answer them all for you. And um, again, any topics and ideas. You some of you guys have given me some really great topic ideas, and so thank you for that. And I've recorded those. Um, so if you guys have any thoughts or ideas on those, we'd love to hear them. Everybody have a great day.