Transmuting Trauma into Transformation | David Brower

What if the experiences that wounded us could also become the raw material for who we are meant to become?

In this episode, I sit down with David Brower for a deeply personal conversation about identity, emotional healing, self-expression, relationships, reinvention, and the lifelong process of turning our most difficult experiences into opportunities for transformation.

Growing up highly sensitive and intensely self-conscious, David learned early what it felt like to suppress parts of himself out of fear of how others might perceive him. Feelings of isolation, separation, and uncertainty followed him into adulthood—but they also became the beginning of a much larger search.

After graduating from UCLA with a degree in Political Science and realizing that the expected path of law school wasn't truly his, David bought a one-way ticket to Paris at 22 years old.

He barely spoke French. He knew almost no one. And suddenly, everything familiar disappeared.

What followed became an education that no classroom could have provided.

Through immersion in another culture, David began discovering the importance of presence, sensuality, belonging, human connection, personal responsibility, and consciously choosing the direction of our lives.

That journey eventually led to a remarkable 20-year career in the global entertainment industry, including a decade with IMAX, with work spanning approximately 50 countries across Latin America, Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and beyond.

Yet professional success eventually raised another question:

Who am I when achievement is no longer enough?

David began again.

He immersed himself in coaching, behavioral change, leadership, personal development, relationships, and experiential learning—not simply to master another methodology, but to better understand himself.

In our conversation, we explore what David has learned through decades of repeatedly stepping beyond certainty and into the unknown: that relationships are central to life, that we have more agency than we often acknowledge, and that transformation requires us to actually feel and experience life rather than intellectualize our way around it.

We also discuss David's creation of Sensorial Experience Day (SED)—an immersive experience designed to help people disconnect digitally, reconnect humanly, awaken their senses, and rediscover parts of themselves that modern life can easily suppress.

In this episode, we explore:

• Transmuting emotional pain into personal transformation
• Sensitivity, self-consciousness, and suppressed self-expression
• Why intellectual understanding alone doesn't necessarily create healing
• Having the courage to abandon the path you're "supposed" to follow
• Starting over and learning to live with uncertainty
• How moving to Paris transformed David's relationship with life
• Sensuality, presence, food, culture, and the power of our senses
• Why our need for meaningful human connection is fundamental
• Taking responsibility for our choices
• The relationship between vulnerability, trust, and belonging
• Success, status, and realizing when achievement is no longer enough
• Reinventing yourself at different stages of life
• Becoming an active participant rather than a spectator in your own life
• Getting outside the comfort zone and allowing experience to become the teacher
• Disconnecting digitally to reconnect humanly
• Why relationships may ultimately be one of our greatest vehicles for transformation

This is a conversation about choosing to participate fully in your own life—including the uncomfortable parts.

Because transformation isn't necessarily about erasing what happened to us.

Sometimes it's about learning how to take what we've lived through, reconnect with our capacity to feel, choose differently, and allow those experiences to become part of something larger.

Connect with David Brower

Website:
https://davidbrower.com

Rooted & Wild provides general information for educational and informational purposes only. The views and opinions expressed by guest speakers are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of Henry Hawk. The content shared on this podcast is not intended to replace individualized medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, nor should it be used to diagnose or treat any health condition. Listeners are encouraged to consult with qualified healthcare professionals regarding any medical or mental health concerns.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Rooted and Wild. We all encounter trauma in many shapes and forms throughout our life. Pain is inevitable. But how do we get through it? We often think that it has to be this long-lived experience, but what if it's something that we can transform into resilience day by day? My guest today is David Brouwer, an international impresario of live experiences that fuse artistry, intimacy, and inspiration. A number one best-selling author, poet, and speaker, he creates gatherings that feel like living works of art, immersive, connective, and unforgettable. David brings people together in ways that awaken beauty, joy, and purpose, inviting audiences to savor the richness of life while forging meaningful bonds with each other. His events are more than entertainment. They are catalysts for aliveness, presence, and transformation, reminding us that everyday life can be celebrated as the greatest stage of all. David, as I read your Bible, and we're talking about celebrating life and what you do in create creating these events. And you have been in some previous episodes where we've uh discussed events and creating vibrancy and self-connection and connection with others. But at the backdrop of this is this reality of being human, which is that we suffer and we do grieve. There are situations that are very dramatic and difficult that we go through. And I know this topic is very near and dear to your heart and has been embodied. So let's talk today about this grief and your take and perspective on trauma.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Yeah, thank you again. I love our times together.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Likewise.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

I want to start with as above, so below. You know, the I guess the idea that a lot of my joy and my lifeless surely comes from my having gone deep down into the more challenging experiences that have happened in my life and somehow succeeding in transmuting them without suppressing them or denying them or not letting them have their space to express themselves themselves and move through me. And so yeah, it's just what I've I've sought to do in the various challenges that I've faced in my life is kind of let things move through me and not block them at some point. Um, so they remain unresolved uh and perhaps trapped. And then I'm I'm starting to act and behave in ways based on on that. And like it's like building a a bad structure, you know, for who you are. And so purifying, cleansing, releasing, letting just life be and not letting our heads mislead us into some kind of storytelling that that drives how we should um follow some kind of standard way of dealing with trauma or hurt or betrayal, etc. I think again, we want to pull this back into ourselves and heal our own vessel and choose how we want to respond to what happens to us in life as best we can. Uh, it's not so black and white, so no doubt about that, but the intention to fully heal, uh to let to let go of what we need to let go of, um, to accept and allow and give ourselves permission to evolve and change is really your own choice, your own decision. We don't have to behave in a way that caters to how others feel we should be experiencing what we're going through. And so it's quite important to have a knowing of yourself and a respect and a valuing of yourself that whatever you're going through, the way that you want to go through it, is really your your choice. The only thing is don't live there, don't live forever in the in the healing, in the ex, you know, there comes a point when that really should um should should end really and it should become a a part of your humanity and make you an even greater human with more kindness and empathy and compassion and also range to experience life and and support others who are going through um traumatic uh moments.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Yes. You know, obviously this whole component of grief and trauma uh is something I deal with daily. I mean, as a theta healing practitioner and doing energy work, and people come to me when they're feeling that they need help with their trauma. So oftentimes it's uh it can be right in the thick of it, and sometimes it can be something that's lingered for many years that they haven't been able to release and they're kind of at their wits' end about it. I have found, and I'm sure you have as well, in in my own life. I'll check I'll speak to my own trauma, you know, having uh gone through some difficult things as a child, um, losing my my adopted sister, um, and two um going through cancer twice when I was once when I was 14, you know, and and then second time when I was 30, and then numerous things, okay? And hindsight is 2020. You can look back and when the healing has come, these things are almost I wouldn't want them to have happened, don't get me wrong. And I I wouldn't want to repeat them and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. But there is this component of resilience, which is kind of the topic we're kind of talking about here, and where the experiences are alchemized into something that is to my benefit and for my growth. Um where the pain is almost encapsulated, per se, almost like a piece of sand inside of an oyster, and then it gets that pearly, you know, pearlescent coating, you know, and and it it it it it has pain, it has pain in some of its memory, but it no longer stings the way it used to. There's a beauty that one can see now more clearly than ever. But to get there is a process. What are some of the things you've done in processing your own grief over these years to turn it into resilience?

SPEAKER_01 6:54

I've cried a lot in in private mostly, or or potentially with um friends or with various kinds of healers. Um that's always been a a tremendously uh uh releasing experience for me. Uh I mean, you know, from the unbelievable, like, you know, like the crazy wailing to to other softer kind of subtle versions, but it's very cathartic. Uh and what I feel is important about that and has been for me is that when the emotion arises, not to suppress it. Like when that surge comes, let that baby fly, let it out, uh, particularly as a man, you know, and it doesn't mean that you maybe you find an appropriate moment for that, but even there, I mean, you know, a lot of what I've been creating in as experiences for people, um, because I experienced that in a lot of the the moments, is you know, a space where actually you can you can let your emotion surge and and maybe it's like an ecstatic feeling or maybe it's some kind of tears because something touches you so beautifully. But like giving yourself permission to let that come out and come through is absolutely essential. So I think the suppression of suppression of that is causing all sorts of other um dysfunctional adaptations and reactions that are not you. It's it's this block thing that's uh that's happening. So that that's been very essential to me, not to uh not to close off from uh not to suppress or block what I'm what I'm feeling. Um you know, a lot of conversation with people that I value andor skilled um people in in the fields of uh of healing or psychology or philosophy or you know, even religious people. I think when you can get a variety of perspectives that allow you to put into perspective what you're going through, it can help to relativize your life experience. And that's such a powerful way to consciously choose uh what this means. You giving meaning to what you're going through is a massive um skill to enable you to be more resilient in coming through it. So yeah, and I lots of other healing modalities from Reiki to psychedelics to uh massage to uh Temescal uh uh steam house experiences or sweat lodge experiences. Um even the acupressure boards that I use are a fantastic teacher of differentiating between suffering and pain, and also realizing how much you can sit with your own in your own mess and you can hold space lovingly for that patiently with breathing. Breathing has been a magnificent tool and experience. Also, I couldn't more highly recommend um, you know, deep breathing hour, hour and a half long breathing experiences are tremendous for releasing stuff you don't even know you're holding back that's completely subconscious, tremendously valuable. You know, exercising on a regular basis. Uh you know, maybe hiking in nature also, cycling, like that's a huge part of it. I mean, who was it who said uh, you know, the number one solution to depression is exercising. I mean, so I think that applies also with helping you move through um shame and grief and somebody's lower vibrational uh experiences. Uh, you know, you don't have to race through that. You're the one who will decide, you're the one who will find out when you're able to move through what you're experiencing. So having a lot of patience with yourself, having a lot of self-care and kindness and self-compassion. Uh, it's nice to have compassion for others, and we want that and we need that. It's also really good to have it for yourself and extend that for yourself. Uh and yeah, you know, at some point along the journey of healing, gotta really reach towards the higher vibrations and consciously choose to get out and go dancing, to do laugh yoga, to, you know, go out with the friends, like like break into, break back into a higher vibrational energy that will, you know, it's like a buoy coming up under the water to to get out uh and you know, express itself. Stop suppressing it, let it, let it fly also, because that can pull you upwards and entirely shift the way that you're experiencing what you're experiencing. So I think for me, you know, I could have had moments where I felt a bit um almost addicted to feeling uh, you know, sad or sorry for myself. Or, you know, we have to be a little bit careful that perhaps the shadow side of ourself doesn't attach too much to liking that feeling and also the way that people talk to us and speak to us. I still have a lot of people speaking to me about some of the trauma that's happened in my life, expressing how sorry they are, or they still think about, you know, things about my life or the people that were in my life who are no longer here. And it's loving for them to express that. And yet at the same time, you know, I'm moving on. Um, not in a in a vengeful or like, don't want to talk about it, or this kind of way, but just in a very healthy way that my energy and my attention is is towards where I'm going. It's not where I've been.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Yeah. I like what you mentioned about how it's it's it's not just one-dimensional, it's multidimensional in terms of that healing journey. It is on numerous fronts, and I've and I've had that in my own walk-in journey as well, to where I've had breathwork sessions, I've done Reiki, I've had uh fascia release, I've done um acupuncture, acupressure, massage, you know, uh yoga, theta healing. Theta healing was probably the biggest one for me that brought me a lot of release. That's why I'm a theta healing practitioner, but like all those things came came into play. And of course, meaningful connections, relationships, experiences, um I there's a hunger. A hunger there. And I think that for for for me, what I've said to people is that healing is a journey. It is in the going. It is a it's like walking, so is healing. We have to, we talked about this in the in the previous episode you were on where we talked about this idea of self-care being a lifestyle. And I oftentimes approach healing is a lifestyle because we go through so many little micro traumas, I wouldn't call them traumas, but maybe micro-traumas throughout the year, micro stresses, micro-interruptions. And then they can kind of compound. And then you have these major traumas that come into play. And so we have to constantly be going in this act action and lifestyle of healing, though. I like what you said about we're not living permanently in the grief, or we're not living permanently in the um maybe the victim mindset of it, but we are proactive in it. And there was an example that the the woman who uh I guess who is my mentor in data healing, she said that when a storm rolls over or starts to come towards a herd of buffalo, the buffalo actually run into it because they know as the storm is coming towards them that they'll get through it faster if they go head on into it than if they run away from it because it's gonna constantly chase them. So it's the idea of actually being intentional about going through it, not rushing necessarily, but going through it so you can get through the other side of it. And I liked that perspective. And I think oftentimes human tendency is avoidance and it's to either avoid or to stay, because we're in that fr froze or freeze freeze state, you know. And so you help others as well with this perspective. What are some things that you would typically tell someone that they could do today? That they can do today if they're still carrying some grief from the past and they haven't quite been able to release it.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

And one of the things that my events are a lot about also is artistic expression. I mean, and we all know this, you know, it's almost a cliche, right? Channel your channel your trauma, your grief, your sadness, your anger, your whatever into some art form. You know. Um and that could be even just going out and dancing, you know, and just releasing and expressing and like you know, expressing rage while you're dancing or something. So the transmutation in actually experiencing something artistic and creative is such a powerful tool. I wonder if it's not our most uh most powerful uh utilization of ourselves. And this applies also, as you would know, to to cooking, right? Cooking is a tremendous um place. And I got a lot into cooking for various reasons at home. Um one of them was definitely artistic expression in that it so overwhelmed all my senses because it really takes all the senses when you're cooking, uh, and you're really paying attention and you're devoting and you're you know making it a an art form and not a task or a whatever, not a kind of transactional kind of thing. And there's so much value in all your senses being consumed uh by that. And for me, there's a tremendous healing in that sort of ritualized activity, you know, as you cook very often or if you're going to create very often, whatever it is, there's a lot of healing there. And this really gets us out of certain parts of our brains and into other parts. Our senses bring us more into our body, and we get away from I think the storytelling that we're we're living from and with. And we can actually tap into something even subconscious uh and um open up uh parts of ourselves that we just can't do from a like a mindset or thinking head-down process. We actually have to be in the doing and the experiencing and the tasting and the smelling and the drawing and the sensing and the textures and all these uh all these magical things. I feel like that's a really beautiful way to pursue one's uh one's healing. You know conversation is a is a very powerful thing that we can do together. At the same time, conversation doesn't always allow us to uh access our subconscious uh and other parts of our uh our brain and our intuition, etc. Uh, because it's being filtered through the thinking. And so uh expressing ourselves in ways that doesn't directly come necessarily from thinking, you know, manually um physically uh with our body and our movement um and even our senses, uh is for me uh a way that I've found healing through a lot of what I've experienced. You know, you may be in a bad period of your life and like you may live alone and you don't want to go home and uh you know cook dinner. Or if you do, you just want to do something simple and fast, you know, or pick up some takeout and you know, eat the Chinese food out of the carton or something. It's like, no, no. Let's do this artist artistically and elevate our experience and again like value this life experience and say to ourselves, like, like whatever I'm going through, I'm still in reverence for life. So I'm gonna sit down at my table, but I'm gonna take that Chinese takeout, and I'm gonna put it on a really lovely plate. I'm gonna pull out grandma's China, I'm gonna pull out her silverware, and I'm gonna use a real fabric napkin, not a paper towel. And I'm gonna sit properly at the table and I'm gonna eat, you know, in a beautiful way. And there will be no plastic on my table. There will be nothing that takes away from the beauty of the moment. And let's have a moment of reverence and creativity and elevation and like respect for like everything else that's so incredible about the life we're leading beyond what we're we're experiencing in the moment.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

That's so good. I was I was recently speaking on a women's panel for women's health, and and they're talking about how women are very stressed and overwhelmed. And and I and I talked about something along those lines. I love that you said reverence for life. And my take on it was we've lost the art of ritual. We've lost the art of everything is art. Everything. In Japan, they have this perspective down pat. It is that even the minuscule tasks of how you label the tea and how you you know serve the dish, and you everything is positioned in a certain way. You know, it's it it there's this ritual, but it creates this level of living in the present and in the moment to be intentional and to be self aware in the present. I think in grief, typically speaking, people are in the past, dealing with the pain of the past, or they're trying to think about the future to get themselves out, but they're very s uh not as self aware of the potentially. I've had this moment, the beauty that's in your present, the gift of being here today with those who are in your life or the gifts that life has brought you today. And to be present is really amazing for that neuroplasticity and to rewire the brain, that's that place of gratitude with uh for the moment. And that's hard to do when you've lost someone you love or when um you've been through something very severe and hard, that gratitude is like, man, like you feel like the rug was swept out from under you. But it can be small, small gratitudes, small moments of gratitude in the little things. I was remembering specifically the story of uh I think it was Corey Tin Boom. She was one of the uh she was in World War II in a uh uh concentration camp with her sister. And um there were fleas all over the bunks. It was a horrible, atrocious situation. And her sister, Betsy, said, I am grateful for the fleas because it keeps the guards out of the cell, you know, because they didn't want to be in there. There's so many fleas. So she found gratitude even in something that was not, you know, I'm probably botching that story, but the essence of it is that there we can be grateful for all the gifts. And this there's also reverence for the pain. This idea that there is pain. And in Theta Healing, I often tell people we need to be an awareness, but there also needs to be allowance. There has to be allowance. And you talked about that when you said you grieved, you'd will, you different, you'd you'd release and you would allow. So there has to be an allowance in order for there to be alignment. We can't be in alignment with that allowance. Uh a lot of people just want to skip the allowance part and get straight into alignment. So as we wrap this up, and those there are those listening here. Could you speak to those listening maybe with some some words of of hope and relief that they could hear from you?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

This too shall pass. Whatever you are experiencing, it's changing every day. It doesn't seem like that, but you're changing, you're healing, um, life is moving along. You really owe nothing to anybody else in terms of the way that you are going through what you're going through. And what I mean to express there is you taking responsibility and ownership for what you feel and how you want to go through something is a huge part of how you'll be able to navigate through it. And that's a lot of responsibility to take ownership for one's own trauma, one's own grief. And yet if we delegate that, if we uh overly postpone that, if we fill the gap and go into denial through various addictions or ways of coping, um which perhaps for a certain period of time that's helpful. But we sincerely need to come back to giving ourselves permission to uh heal in a timing net that works for us. Some people could go through something traumatic in a week, they're already kind of back into their life, and you know, hopefully this is healthy. But just to know that it's really you who can choose how you're gonna kind of move through something, uh at least we have a lot of agency there. And so take ownership for that. You know, allow yourself to feel through that and to move through that. Um your work, David, sounds tremendous in helping people to uh to move through that. And just realize that you have you have lots of possibility and options and hope and support. Just need to choose um to uh give yourself permission to invest in yourself and to make choices that are gonna that are gonna support you through the journey of uh of getting over this. And you know, come back to life. Be better for you, better for the planet, better for your relationships. Uh let's not get addicted or stuck uh in a posture as you'd mentioned earlier, a little bit of a victim. Um, you know, we're better than this, you're better than this. Uh and just keep going. You know what they say when when you're in when you're in hell in the fire, just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

So true. So true. This two shall pass. That's great. And that is actually a statement I said to myself when I was when I had cancer when I was 14. Interesting you brought that up. Well, David, it's been a pleasure. Again, as always, thank you so much for joining us today. And for all those who are listening, you can find more about David David Brouwer.com. The link is included in the description box. Um, yeah, thank you for joining us, David.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Thanks so much.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

And for all those who are with us, until next time.