Episode 8: Leaning into Resistance- The Emotionally Uncomfortable Zone

Episode 8 — Leaning into Resistance- The Emotionally Uncomfortable Zone
Resistance isn’t proof you’re failing—it’s proof you’re on the threshold of change. In this episode, we unpack how “analysis paralysis” disguises itself as discipline, why your nervous system blocks follow-through when it doesn’t feel safe, and how to regulate your body so you can finally act. You’ll learn fast somatic tools (breath work, humming/singing, grounding), simple micro-commitments that beat all-or-nothing plans, and a nightly “Winning Inventory” that rewires your brain for progress. Clarity doesn’t come before action—it comes after it. Start small. Start now.

Mantra:
I don’t abandon myself. I act even when resistance screams the loudest.

Journal Prompts:

1. Where is resistance showing up in my life right now?
2. What’s the 80% prep I’ve done—and the 20% action I keep avoiding?
3. Which micro-commitments can I take today to move forward?
4. How does resistance show up in my body—and what calms it down?

Top 7 Takeaways:

1. Resistance is where the growth is. If you feel it, you’re expanding.
2. Analysis paralysis feels like discipline, but it’s avoidance.
3. Prep without action is self-abandonment.
4. Your nervous system needs safety before it allows follow-through.
5. Breath work + grounding turn “unsafe” into “safe enough.”
6. Momentum comes after action—never before.
7. Micro-commitments beat massive overhauls every damn time.

Coaching & Connection:

• 1:1 Nutrition Coaching opens September 1
• Badass Rising membership launches September 1 for deeper work with structure, accountability, and community
• Share this episode with a friend who’s stuck in prep mode
• More info: inquire about coaching or membership via IG or email
• Instagram: @badassthrivingpodcast
• Email: badassthrivingpodcast@gmail.com
  
  

“See you next week, you little badass. Stay nourished, and keep thriving.”

Transcript

0:04

hello, my little bad asses. Welcome back to the Badass Thriving Podcast, where we go beyond the mind, the body, and the plate, and where diet culture doesn't get to live front free in our heads. I am your host. I am Cara Dunphy. I'm a registered dietician. I'm a coach and someone who knows firsthand what it means to wrestle with. Resistance. That is gonna be the topic of today's podcast. So I hope you can get nice and uncomfy. We are gonna talk about some stuff that keeps people feeling stuck. This week we're gonna dive straight into that messy middle part. The part of growth that nobody glamorizes, that is resistance. The sticky, frustrating space where you say you're ready to change. The follow through leaves a little to be desired, so it kind of feels like you're moving through quicksand when you make these big goals. But don't actually follow through. It feels like you are, walking uphill both ways in snow, kind of a situation. Right? So here's the truth. Resistance is a sign that you, on the edge of some growth. It is that edge where it feels really kind of crunchy. It feels kind of sticky, it feels kind of scary. The actual edges where it really does feel. rough out there. You can almost feel that perimeter, right? And so that's where we're going to talk about because that is where resistance is showing up for you. We have all been there where we're in a nice, comfortable spot, and then we are asked to move away from that. We are then asked to deviate from what we know to be safe. We get scared about stepping into this unknown. Even if it might be a really amazing new opportunity. Something that you've always dreamed of doing, and here it is today, arriving on your doorstep and you are being asked to move into an unknown space. That takes a lot of bravery. It takes a lot of courage. so if we're talking about health, fitness, exercise, nutrition, all of those amazing things that are so good for us. We oftentimes find ourselves getting stuck because we are being asked to go into a place that maybe we've never been before, Resistance doesn't always look like procrastination or laziness. Sometimes it looks like being busy. Cramming our schedules full of stuff so that we have an excuse, we have a way out. We have something that we can revert to saying, well, I actually have something else I have to go do, and that something else may or may not be a barrier that you have intentionally or unintentionally put there so that you don't have to go do the scary thing. Sometimes it looks like over researching things or over prepping things and getting stuck in this. Loop of I'm gonna start this new thing, so I'm gonna prepare myself and I'm gonna get ready for it, and I'm gonna do the things to set myself up so then I can start to begin to think about perhaps initiating the first baby step in that direction, right? We get Stuck in this prep phase. So it even looks like setting up like this perfect plan and buying the planner to get everything all scheduled out just right, or downloading the new app for the fitness thing that you're gonna do, but then you never actually start. So that could sound familiar. that's actually resistance. Wearing a disguise, it's resistance. Wearing a costume that is all pretty, that is saying, yeah, I'm actually gonna do the thing. I'm gonna start doing the thing soon, but maybe not right now, but maybe soon-ish. your nervous system is sabotaging you. Let's just put that into this little equation here. Your nervous system reads this new thing as unsafe. So we have to remember that our brain is ready for a change. Our brain has decided, yeah, this is a thing. I'm gonna go do it. I'm gonna start this new workout plan. I'm gonna start eating healthy. I'm going to do these things that I know in my big old brain are good for me. Our body is gonna be left behind. we have to remember that our brain and our body are not always on the same page, and we have to figure out how to bring them along for the ride. our brain is a big, beautiful mass of gray matter all up there thinking big, beautiful thoughts, dreaming big dreams. But our body is Back in that paleolithic stage going, are we running from a tiger? Because this feels like we're running from a tiger. This feels really unsafe. This feels un, this feels dangerous to me. I don't wanna do this. I'm only here to survive. I'm not here to thrive. it's reminding our body that it is safe. we're gonna talk about that. So when. Our nervous system is feeling this as unsafe. This is why the edges feel so sharp when we try to take these steps forward, even when they're good things that we're trying to do. Our body is literally bracing for an impact. That tight chest that you feel the shallow. Breaths. The racing thoughts, the anxiety, it's not weakness, it's the wiring of your body saying, this is really scary and I don't really know if this is okay. resistance shows up when we are trying to do things for ourselves that are good. We know in our gut, like, yeah, this is good for me. I wanna have a healthier life. I wanna. have exercise in my routine so that I can have energy and be healthy, I wanna have better nutrition because I want to feel better. I don't wanna have a bunch of health problems later on down the road. But again, our body is going, okay, we can do all the prep part. Yeah, that, that's okay. That feels safe. But it's the execution part actually doing the thing. So this resistance is really sneaky in that way. And it's like this analysis by paralysis feeling where that analysis. I'm gonna prep, I'm going to figure out exactly what I need to do. I'm going to get the equipment. I'm gonna set everything up, so it's just right. I'm gonna, get the food. I'm gonna do the stuff. It feels like discipline, but again, it's in disguise because it's like I'm doing something, I'm prepping, I'm researching all those things, right? But it's actually this form of avoidance. It's trying to keep you safe by being stuck in this prep mode. So it's like the precursor to the action part where body feels like this is okay, so I'm gonna stay in this spot. And so instead of actually committing and having the follow through. This form of self abandonment is actually like not just low key, but it's actually sabotaging your whole plan. this analysis by paralysis of prepping and getting ready to do the big thing feels productive and it can be productive. But the really scary component of actually moving forward into doing the thing. Where it's missing. So you're 80% there, you're almost there, and then you get stuck here. So this self abandonment, it's going to just come through as I'm being responsible and I need more time to prep. I just need a little more time prepping without action. Avoidance. it is the most socially acceptable way that we abandon ourselves because on the outside we look like we're being productive. We look like we're getting everything set up. We're getting all our ducks in a row so we can do the exercise, nutrition, anything like that. But then the follow through is lacking, it's. We all kind of just like nod and smile and being like, yep, you fell off your plan, you got 10 days in, or you didn't even start. Something along those lines. And we just kind of brush it off. And so this is where so many people get stuck. We get 80% of the way into this change and then, just stop. Like you stop meal prepping, you buy your supplements, you set the alarm. But when it's time to actually move, the resistance convinces you to stall it convinces you, okay, I think we've gone as far as we can. We're gonna just, you know, make up some more excuses. We're gonna stay here'cause here feels safe here. Feels like I'd rather. Selfa abandon than to feel unsafe anymore. And so that somatic piece, the part where we bring our body and nervous system along for the ride where we make time and we make room to have this conversation with ourself on an internal level. It's not something that I was really taught in school, but it makes so much sense to me because of the science, our physiology. it just makes sense when we start to think about we have to take our whole person along for the ride. You can't just bring your legs. You can't just bring your arms to your workout, you've gotta bring in your lungs. You gotta bring in your whole being into a workout. But it also makes sense to bring along your nervous system, that you would also need to say, I need to do some deep internal work here, as well as external work. the shift needs to happen internally. you cannot have a transformation without some mental mindset work. So you've got some mindset stuff going on. You've got some physical stuff going on. You've got some central nervous system stuff going on, right? Like it's a whole package overhaul that needs to happen. it doesn't mean the resistance needs to stop or that it will stop. It means you need to learn how to regulate yourself through it. And I do mean through it. You cannot bypass it. you can't jump steps. when your body feels unsafe, it will not let you follow through on pushing yourself past just the prep stage and into the actual action stage. this is why somatic tools really matter. those are things like breath work. It's things like sitting for a minute, and I literally mean like one minute and just having. Very intentional breath work happening. breath work means being intentional of taking full lung fulls of air. Slowly inhaling and exhaling. We've all heard about square breathing. There's all kinds of other patterns out there. I'm sure I'm not a breath worker. I hope to have a guest on very soon who is a breath work facilitator because it's so helpful because again, the breath is how we signal to our body. Safe. you go from running away from a lion in the old days to, okay, I'm no longer running away from the lion. I got away the breath is how you signal going from fight or flight to now I'm safe to rest and digest. it is actually science. It's actually, it's not all woo woo. the central nervous system is very cool like that. There's also some amazing other. Ways that you can signal your body, and one of them is by humming or singing. Because what it does is it vibrates. Your vocal cords against the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve runs from your brain to your gut. It is the mind gut connection. the biggest way you can tell your body to relax is humming Singing talking anything, even screaming. Some people say screaming really helps, right? Like if you need to do that, do it. Uh, maybe give a few people a heads up so that they know you're not actually in pain. Um, but what that does is it vibrates against that vagus nerve. Again, it signals, Hey, I'm actually okay. I'm actually okay here. So I'm a big heavy metal fan. I love heavy metal. Some people are like, how How do you like heavy metal? You're such a chill person. And I'm like. Yeah, but I can scream and it's socially accessible if you're, you know, singing along to a metal song and screaming with it, right? you don't have to listen to heavy metal. You could do opera, anything with words you can sing, you can make up your own song, who cares? my point is it's another way to regulate your nervous system. So the breath work the simulation with your vagus nerve of humming and singing. Another way that you can ground yourself and regulate yourself is, you know, you can put your feet on the floor and or in the grass get outside and with your hand on your chest, feel your heartbeat. You can remind yourself, I can trust myself. you could do this before food, before a meal. You could say, I can trust myself to eat a meal that is nourishing to me. remind yourself, I am safe in this moment. I am safe to try new things. I can trust myself. These words rebuild that connection internally, and it is a reminder of I am literally okay. I am literally okay to do this thing that I feel on the edge, that's right on the edge of my resistance. I can feel that I am stepping into a new territory here that feels really uncomfortable. reminding yourself, taking your whole body along for the ride and working through that resistance. Affirmations of, I am safe to try, I'm safe to trust myself. having those on a loop, interrupts the anxiety loop that is happening, that programming that is, in our background all the time, anxiety is just low key fear. reminding yourself that it's okay to be afraid, but to try anyway. interrupt the programming of I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this to, I am safe to try. I am safe in my own body. I am safe to work through this. I don't have all the answers, but I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm gonna be brave enough to make mistakes and to learn because you have to. Remind yourself it's not about being perfect, It's about being intentional and to allow yourself to be a beginner. Beginners make mistakes, think of all the famous people we know of, they have all, in some way failed spectacularly before they actually won and had whatever success they had coming, So Oprah, Thomas Edison, you can read up on some of these people and you're like, oh my gosh. They were told no, but they had the audacity to try anyway and to make mistakes and to figure it out. Getting over this perfectionism mindset by working through it and allowing yourself to be messy, to be like, it's not gonna be a perfect plan. I can plan the hell out of this thing that I'm about to go do. But there are gonna be days where it is just gonna be a hot mess and I'm gonna have to roll with it. I can't hold myself to this perfectionism standard all the time, it's crippling me and it's not serving me anymore. And we all do it. if you have had any form of education where you were held to a high standard so that you got those good grades because good grades. matter because you need to get into whatever program and whatever letters of recommendation are required, right? you have to work really hard for those things. you get programmed into this level of perfectionism and then to unlearn it is very difficult. So, hi, that's me. I'm a recovering perfectionism. I am on my row to a very messily. An authentic life and I hope that you will come along for the ride. Thank you so much. So again, going back to. Feeling safe enough to keep going. To feel safe enough to say, I don't need that perfectionism anymore. It's no longer serving me. I am going to work my way through and around and jump over this hurdle that I have in front of me because it's not serving me anymore. It's keeping me stuck in this quote unquote safe environment, which doesn't feel like. Thriving, right? It feels like I'm just surviving. So asking yourself, what is it I really want? And everything that you want, I guarantee is on the other side of your fear. Guarantee it. I actually found that quote a while back and I wrote it out and it's on my little corkboard next to my desk because it is just so powerful that everything that I desire is on the other side of fear. And so the fear can come along for the ride. You can sit with that part of yourself and say, I see you. I hear your concerns, but you are not gonna drive this anymore. I'm gonna do it anyway. So buckle up buttercup. Right? So moving through that sticky part, it's the badass truth. It's that starting is always harder than sustaining Hardest part of working out is putting on your shoes and walking through the gym door. I guarantee it. It is the hardest part. The resistance that peaks right before action is the hardest part. It is the part where you have the decision, am I going to talk myself out of this again and stay stuck surviving. Am I gonna put the damn shoes on and am I gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna do the damn workout, even though it feels really scary. But then I know that I am moving the needle towards thriving, that I am moving forward with more intention. Yes, it may feel really scary to work out in a gym for the very first time that you've never been at. You don't know people. You feel uncomfortable. You don't know them with machines, you don't really know your way around the dumbbells. You don't really know what to do yet. Remind yourself that you don't know what you're doing yet, but you are going to figure it out. You are going to figure it out because you are a smart, capable, resourceful person and you are going to figure it out because you have survived everything up until now. Now is the time to figure out the shit so that you can thrive. So what does that look like? It looks like asking for help. It looks like noticing what other people are doing and just mimicking it. You can ask the big scary Jim, bro two spots over from you for a spot if you need it, right? I guarantee you that everybody in that gym. Has also faced down these very particular demons and that they will cheer you on. I was just having a conversation with someone the other day, and these, this topic came up of, I've never been in a gym before. I really don't know what I'm doing. And I was like, oh my gosh. I totally love this question because it is. It is one that so many people, especially women face when you walk into a gym because it looks like big, scary gym bros are all over the place. But I guarantee you that those big scary gym pros are like the hearts of teddy bears and are the sweetest, kindest humans and are cheering you on. I had someone I haven't talked to in a while come over and just. Say congratulations to me the other day.'cause I passed my dietician exam. I didn't even know he knew that I passed. But it was so sweet that even the people that you didn't think were cheering you on, they are. And so my point is you walk through that door and you may not know what you're doing yet. You ask, you say, Hey, I noticed you doing this movement. Would you mind breaking it down for me? I've never done it before, but I'm really curious and I would like to try, and I guarantee you that somebody will say, Hey, no problem. I ha I'm more than happy to help. I love it when people come over and to me and they're like, Hey, I noticed you doing that. Would you mind explaining it? And I'm like, sure. You know, and, and just to have the curiosity to try. Curiosity to try and to ask for help. And so that is a sticky part. That is I wanna say it's easily addressed. You know, if you don't wanna go to the gym, you can figure out some workouts at home and put on the demonstration videos. There's YouTube, you can find a whole bunch of. Stuff and you can figure out what that exercise looks like.'cause there's a lot of people that will work through different movements. And you can go to websites like bodybuilding.com and you can look up a movement and it will show you and break it down for you. So have the curiosity to even try. don't let this, I don't know how to work out. Excuse. Carry on any further because I'm gonna say it's bullshit. And that you are just putting up a barrier to not try and not have the curiosity to learn something new. if you can open that mindset and kind of crack it open a little bit to say, I don't know this yet, but I'm willing to try that will take you so much further. it's a mindset shift around this resistance I don't know it yet, but I'm going to try. I'm going to learn. I'm going to be curious. I'm gonna open myself up to this new experience, and I guarantee you you'll be blown away not only will you have such an amazing growth mindset, but the amount of change that comes from stepping foot in the gym and applying yourself into a workout is like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. I'm so grateful that I picked up a set of dumbbells when I was 12 years old. At 12 years old, I literally looked around at the gene pool of health issues I had in front of me and I was like, I want none of that. And so much of it is preventable. so at 12 years old, I started working out. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I had nobody to teach me. I was like, I'm gonna figure this out. I'm gonna do something to at least try to circumvent these awful health issues that are literally on the road for me if I don't do something. Now, we had, I think, eight pound dumbbells and a really janky old treadmill, I was a farm girl, so. I was already very active, it was one of those things that I was like, I don't even know what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna do it anyway. And so I made it happen and here I am in my thirties mentally to go and have a workout get through. Whatever you've got going on in your life is the biggest. Stress relieving hack that people just don't seem to tap into. I really want people to get over this first barrier of resistance because there is a whole beautiful world in there waiting for you of internal growth that is just waiting for you to claim it. Like literally to claim it and say, this is for me. And so it's not about. Every day being perfect. It's about the discipline of showing up, and even when it's a really messy time for you to even just go, I'm gonna go and do my best. I've got 20 minutes. it's gonna be better than nothing. The starting part is always harder than sustaining because the resistance is peaking right before you do the action. Right? I just said that, but it's like once you're in motion, that momentum does carry you, but it's the discipline of showing up and choosing to try. Is what the momentum continues to carry you forward because it's a law of physics, right? It's an object in motion. Stage in motion. if you are sedentary, you're gonna stay sedentary, but the hardest part is to go from sedentary to moving. once you get moving, it's easier to keep it going, but you have to make those decisions every day of how can I keep myself going in that direction? So the first rep, the first walk, the first meal you are trying to put effort into creating a balanced meal. It feels heavy. It feels hard, but you have to continue to try So. That's where most people quit. So your job is don't quit when you're literally in the doorway of moving into a new space, don't quit there. Keep moving forward. it's the micro-commitments. Versus that all or nothing trap. the antidote to resistance isn't a massive overhaul. It is these little tiny commitments that you're making every single day to move the needle forward. these tiny commitments can look like having water before you drink your coffee. 10 minutes of walking before you go sit down for Netflix show. Getting up every 45 minutes at a sitting desk to stand for a bit adding protein to one more meal, adding more vegetables, adding in, not subtracting out. adding it in is so much easier because then you figure out. This new thing was really interesting and cool to me, and I really enjoyed it. now I'm realizing the old stuff. I can start filtering that in a way of, is this serving me? Is this aligning with my goals? I can Shift it accordingly so that it fits where it needs to fit. Or if it doesn't fit, check it out. the small doable actions, that's how you outsmart that resistance that you're feeling. It's setting yourself up with goals that you can easily achieve. It's almost like you take this big goal that you have, and then you work backwards. you work backwards from the big goal. putting in some smaller goals, and then putting in tiny goals and micro goals the little tiny micro goals have to be so fricking easy to check off that it just feels like you're breathing. At some point, you're like, oh, I did that. That was no big deal, did that. Winning, right? And then sitting with it and going, look at all the things that I just did that are setting me up towards this new big goal I feel like I am crushing it because I have these small, doable goals set in place. So it is not a big deal anymore to just keep moving in that direction because these little tiny goals. Are all wins. And this is how I defeat this resistance that I have been feeling. You have to feel like you're winning. so at the end of the day, stand for two minutes while you're brushing your teeth and list all of the little tiny wins that you did since the moment you woke up. I got up, I made my bed, I brushed my teeth, I fed the cat. I got my water in. I drank some coffee. I got my lunch prepped, I got my meals prepped. I'm heading out to work. I'm gonna work out at my lunch break. I went and did 30 minutes. then, I was hitting that three o'clock slump, so I took a 15 minute brisk walk around the bench or around the block. got home, made dinner, prepped for the next day, winning. Look at all those things that I just won. You have to reflect back so that you see just how far you've come. I call it winning inventory, and I think it is the number one thing that you can do for yourself to set you up for success, especially when resistance is staring at you, telling you I can't do. Show yourself that you can show yourself over and over. Prove to yourself that you can do these difficult things that you have put in place because you know everything that you desire is on the other side of fear. I hope this episode landed for you. I hope you see that resistance isn't proof that you are weak. It is proof that you were right on the edge of some spectacular growth. So the next time you feel yourself circling back into meal prep and overthinking, or trying the perfect plan, call it out. Call it what it is. Resistance is dressed up as discipline, but this is not serving me. This is keeping me crippled in survival mode because it feels safe. So everything that we desire is on the other side of fear. I have to remember that I am capable of big things and all I have to do to. To slay this dragon is to take a step in that direction because action is always going to defeat this resistance, this crippling thing that is keeping you feeling small. So cut that loop that is programmed running in your background. Take the rep, go for the walk, eat the meal, because Clarity comes after action. So your mantra for the week is, I don't abandon myself. I act even when resistance screams the loudest. Put that on the sticky note, Put it on your mirror, put it on your phone, whatever you need to do so that you see that you can do this. Journal prompts for you. Little bad asses are. Where is resistance showing up in my life right now? What is the 80% prep that I've done, and what's the 20% action I keep avoiding? What micro-commitments could I take today that moves me forward? How does resistance show up in my body and what calms it down here are this episode's. Top takeaways. Resistance is where the growth is. If you feel it, you're expanding. Analysis by paralysis feels like discipline, but it's avoidance. Prep without action is self abandonment. Your nervous system needs safety before it allows follow through breath work, plus grounding turns unsafe into safe enough. Momentum comes after action, never before. Micro commitments beat massive overhauls every damn time. Thanks so much for hanging out with me today. You little badass. If this hit home, share it with a friend who's stuck in prep mode. And don't forget, coaching with me officially opened September 1st, along with the Badass Rising membership. Your space to take this work deeper with accountability, structure and community. You're not broken, you're resisting, and that means you're on the edge of growth. See you next week. You little badass. Stay bold, stay nourished, and keep thriving. If this episode hit home, do me a huge favor. Please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend who needs to hear this. It really does help this podcast grow and reach more bad asses just like you. Please connect with me. I would love to hear from you. Follow along at the Badass Thriving Podcast on social media, or email me at Badass Thriving podcast@gmail.com. If you want more information about one-on-one coaching or the Badass Rising membership, which launches September 1st.