Whatever happened to Gentle Men
Welcome to whatever happened to the Gentle Men podcast, where we talk about all things dating, healing from toxic relationships, self love, healthy relationships, healthy sex and loving yourself to help single people attract the person who is right for them.
Using research, theories and 11 years experience as a healthy relationships, sex and habit change coach, Sam Morris dives in. If you're looking for self improvement, self development, advice on love, how to heal from toxic relationships, advice on dating, advice on self love, advice on sex and advice on how to change your habits, uncover your mental blocks and your unconscious mind and try and live the best life.
Then this is your place.
Follow Sam on Instagram - thesammorriscWebsite - thesammorris.comGet the self love blueprint for free - https://www.thesammorris.com/forms/2148788118
Whatever happened to Gentle Men
Episode 25 - If You’re Always in Survival Mode, Love Will Feel Like a Threat - With DR lilli hartwell
Send Sam a message of what you are struggling with and she’ll make an episode just for you.
This one is raw, real, and full of “ahh, that’s why I do that” moments.
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Lily Hartwell, and we get into the deep stuff—how your mental and physical health mess with your relationships, and why no amount of gym selfies or green smoothies will help if your nervous system is shot.
We talk about how childhood shapes your nervous system, how that plays out in your love life, and what it actually means when you’ve had to “parent yourself.” If you’re always the strong one, the one who has to be in control, or you struggle to let people in—this is for you.
Here’s what we cover:
Why your anxiety, burnout, or low mood might be linked to what you’re eating (yes, even if you think you’re “healthy”)
How unresolved trauma shows up in your dating patterns
Why some people can’t stand change—and how that’s connected to your upbringing
The link between vitamin deficiencies, emotional dysregulation, and relationships
What it really means when you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them
How self-care isn’t just bubble baths, it’s survival
👀 Plus we talk about:
ADHD, anxiety, and why people aren’t just “lazy” or “bad at relationships”
The dark side of being hyper-independent
How you can look amazing on the outside and still be falling apart inside
🔖 Quote to sit with:
"How can you show up safely in a relationship if your nervous system is constantly in survival mode?" – Dr. Lily Hartwell
This episode is a must if you've ever thought:
“Why do I keep attracting the same kind of partner?”
“Why can’t I let someone in?”
“I look after everyone else, but why do I feel so empty?”
It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to understand it.
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