The Healing Power of Group Work: Why You Don’t Have to Heal From Toxic Relationships Alone

Have you ever tried to heal from a toxic relationship on your own—and felt like you were carrying the entire weight of it by yourself?

In this episode of Whatever Happened to the Gentle Men, Sam Morris shares the transformative power of group work in healing from toxic relationships. From her own journey of sitting in the car debating whether to walk into her first support group, to witnessing magical breakthroughs inside her current programs, Sam reveals why healing in community often works faster (and deeper) than going it alone.

You’ll discover:
 ✨ Why group work can be even more powerful than one-to-one coaching
 ✨ How hearing “you’re not alone” can shift everything
✨ The psychology behind “universality” and why it’s so healing
✨ Real stories of clients who finally saw their worth reflected back through others
✨ How accountability, intimacy, and community accelerate personal transformation

If you’ve been struggling to let go of toxic patterns, rebuild your self-worth, or simply feel supported while you grow—this episode is your reminder that you don’t have to do it all on your own.

💌 Ready to stop carrying the weight of your healing by yourself? Join the priority waitlist for Sam’s next intimate group program below
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Transcript

Sam Morris 
Something magical happens when people come together. I see it in every single group that I have ran, that I've been in, and today I want to share a story about what happened last week inside one of these rooms. I want to talk to you about...


I want to talk to you about why group work can be even more powerful than one-to-one and how you can also be part of something like this if you are ready to stop carrying the weight of toxic relationships, your past, all by yourself.

For those of you that don't know me, I'm Sam Morris and I've spent the past 11 years helping people heal from toxic relationships, including myself, and rebuilding themselves from the ground up. This is my podcast where I talk about love, dating, changing your behaviours and manifesting the life you want and everything in between.

Let's get to the episode.


I have a current group going on.


some of my listeners may be in that group so shout out to my group members because I know that you listen so hey and yes I am talking about you today

Last week we were doing an exercise which is all part of the rebuilding a new you so we're kind of I think we're in week nine and

it is.

Week 9 is all about creating the new version of yourself that you want to be. And so one of the questions that I asked the group and they all had to share individually is what they thought was special about themselves. And...

What happened was, is what normally happens, people will give kind of one or two examples because they're put on the spot. It's very difficult to think off the top of your head, you know, what is special about me. Especially because I seem to have...

a lot of reflectors within my group which essentially means people that don't kind of think in the moment they go away and they think about it after the fact.


But each of them, they shared something about themselves that they thought was special. Most of them said it really shyly, they're trying to downplay it and I've got a couple of, you know, I'm a good friend, I've been told I'm funny. And the mesmerizing part...

and this always happens is the moment that that person is finished speaking the group starts to jump in so they'll say stuff like no like you're more than that you're so brave you've been through so much and look at you now you always make us laugh you always go over and above for the group you've always got great kind of knowledge contributions you have started to put yourself first

and the group will answer that question for you.


And what happens is people start to hear what other people see about themselves.

and it makes them realise how truly wonderful they are. And that is the power of a group. So when you've spent weeks together, months together, sharing stories, breaking patterns together, crying, laughing, these aren't strangers in a Zoom room. These are family.


they become like your family, like the healthiest version of family. If you could pick them, a group of people who they only want you to have more, to have better.

And so I want to tie into this a little bit of theory because this isn't just me telling you my opinion. There's real psychology behind why group work is so powerful. There's this thing called universality and no, it has absolutely nothing to do with manifestation, although obviously you know I love manifestation.


It is when a person has a realisation, like a moment, where they suddenly realise, I'm not the only one who feels like this. And that in itself has healing powers because how often have you sat there and you thought, everyone else looks so happy. I'm the only one who feels disappointed, anxious, tired of trying.

I'm the only one who can't have a stable relationship. How many times have you thought that? Because I used to think it all the time. I look around at other people and be like, why is my life not like that? So when you get into a room, even a virtual room, of people who feel the same, who have been there, you start to get hope.


because you're not alone anymore. And then when you start to see people within that group having breakthroughs, having realizations, you have your own realization that, you know, they were the same as me. So if they can do it, so can I.

I remember years ago I went to a support group and I was so nervous to go in. you believe that now? I sit here talking to a screen all day.

but I was so nervous and I sat in my car until the start time, I think it started at like eight o'clock, and so I sat until the start time sitting there thinking should I go in, should I not go in?

going back and forth, making excuses of why I couldn't go in, I needed to go home early, all of these things that were coming up for me, these might not be my people, what if I don't like them, what if it's horrible, I've got to stay for two hours, all of this stuff.


And sitting there waiting was probably my worst mistake anyway because I actually hate being the last person into a room. So that brings a whole new level of anxiety walking into a full room. For some reason on that day there was a little voice in my head saying, if not now, then when? And I realised that if I didn't go in now, like I knew that I needed some support.

I would have to go through this whole process again of sitting outside, do I go in, do I not go in and going through it all again so I might as well just get my feet, open the door and walk.


And so I got out of the car, I climbed the two flights of stairs. Yes, I was out of breath because I wasn't very fit back then. And I went in and I met people, people who had been attending this group for years, who had their lives together. I heard their stories, I listened of like the depths of their despair and how they'd got through it.

and I sat there and I thought if they can do that then I can as well and now I still actually go to that same group you know I voluntarily go to help new people who are in the same situation that I was to help them


And that group started the path of so many things in my life.

And now I'm in lots of other groups for various different reasons. I'm in an exercise group where we meet every day to exercise, other than a Sunday. Although my coach did put about a stretching session on a Sunday, so yeah, we'll see about that. We have a WhatsApp, we've got a coach who does call us out when we aren't living up to our goals.


It keeps me accountable. I know that if I miss like one or two sessions, I want to get a message saying, you know, where are you? Why are you not here? Like you want to be exercising, you love exercise, you want to lift heavier weights. What is going on?


Big shout out to my coach, J.D. By the way. She will be, she doesn't know that I'm plugging this, but she will be doing an online coaching program very, very soon. yeah. I will plug that when it comes out. So.


I am also in two coaching groups. So I'm in a very small intimate one. I think there's six of us in that group and we meet every other Friday to bounce off each other. Like what are we struggling with? And that's business and that's life and we go through that and we work through it together because...

Some of them have more experience than me, some of them have less experience than me. We have lots of different skill sets in various things. So one of my friends, I will say my friend, she had a problem with one of her children. And I had a similar problem with one of my children years ago. you bounce off each other.

And then I'm also in a group which is much larger.

and that has meetings three times a week, obviously I don't go to all of them, to help with various different issues in work. And when I started my group programme, I didn't really know what it was going to be. I thought obviously I would be teaching and I would be practising with people, but I thought that it would be pretty much the same way as I do with my one-to-ones, just with a group.

And what happened was every group...


that I've done has turned into a friendship. So a community of people who look out for one another, who are friends with each other, who support each other. And it is quite magical to witness it from the other side. And so my lovely listeners.

I want you to have a think about what groups you are part of that will keep you accountable.

Have a sit and think about what goals you have in life. Do you wanna lose weight? Do you wanna heal from those toxic relationships? Do you wanna break those patterns? Do you wanna learn how to knit? Do you wanna learn a new language?


And I'd like you to sit there, look at those goals and work out what groups you could join.

that would benefit you, that would keep you accountable and that would also make you meet people who have the same interests as you.


sit down, do that and then send me a message on Instagram because I am always looking for ideas to share with my clients of new things that they can do. Especially because this week, two of my one-to-ones, I have given them homework that they have to go and if you two are listening to this, because I know that you listen, they've got to go.

and find something new to do that they are going to enjoy.


So yeah, if you come up with some great ideas, send me a message on Instagram and I'll be sharing it with my clients and give them some more homework and they'll be like, Sam, I don't want to do new things. That is the joy of having a coach. I make you do new things.

And if you have been listening and you've been thinking, actually I need that kind of support. I'm tired of trying to do this alone, trying to heal from my past relationships, trying to break those cycles that I don't even know why they're there.

then I want you to know that my next group starts in September. I do like to keep these groups small and intimate so that every single person feels like they are seen, that they've got a voice, that they're supported and that they are safe. Because there's a lot of group programs out there that you can be lost in a crowd.

where you pay out money, the truth is you pay out money and you don't feel like you've gained anything because there's a group of 100 people and you're not going to be the one that puts your hand up to say pick me, pick me.


So I do like to these groups super small, which is why I actually have a priority list.


My groups are about creating a bond where you can finally let your guard down and you can heal alongside others who just get it. The priority list is open and being on that list means that you will get access before I announce it to the public. So if all of those seats are filled, the group will never be released to the public.


And I have had that happen a couple of times where I then get an email a few weeks later saying, Sam, you said you were doing a group. And I have to email back and say you wasn't on the priority list and the email went out. So get yourself on the list. Don't be one of those people emailing me in a couple of weeks like, Sam, where is this group?


If you know that you need this and you want a transformation, I will put the link down below. If you are a little bit unsure, because I have people that are like, I don't know if this is right for me.

Get yourself on the priority list, you'll get an email, email me back with your questions. I'm happy to set up a call, happy to have a chat. I don't want anyone to obviously be in the group that is not made for the group, is not right for the group.


but the power of the group will change your life. So if there is one thing that I know for sure is that you don't actually have to go on this journey by yourself. Okay.

That's it for today. If this resonated with you, please share this episode with someone who needs to heal it. Because healing is actually contagious. So when we start to spread our little healing wings, our pixie fairy dust, it goes so far.

I'm Sam Morris and I will see you next time.