What’s Your Strategy to Heal? Why “Time” Isn’t Enough to Move On

In this episode of Whatever Happened to the Gentle Men, Sam Morris dives into one powerful question: What’s your actual strategy to heal?

Most people have a plan for everything: their career, fitness, and finances and yet when it comes to healing from heartbreak, rejection, or toxic relationships, they just “hope time will fix it.” 

Spoiler alert: it won’t.

In this honest, practical conversation, Sam breaks down:

• Why emotional healing needs structure and intention
• The 3 pillars every healing strategy must include: awareness, rewiring, and integration
• Why “distraction” isn’t healing (and what to do instead)
• How to build a simple daily or weekly healing practice that actually changes your life
• The difference between having hope and having a plan

If you’ve been feeling stuck, numb, or repeating the same patterns in love, then this episode will help you create your own roadmap to emotional freedom before the year ends.

🎯 Listen now to learn:

• How to design your personal “Healing Strategy” for the last quarter of the year
• Why the nervous system holds the key to moving on
• Simple 3-minute daily actions that rewire old emotional patterns

✨ Resources Mentioned:

• Self-Love Card Deck
  – Daily activities for emotional healing
• 1:1 Coaching with Sam – Create your healing strategy and start building secure, healthy love

📩 Share this episode with someone who’s ready to stop “just coping” and start truly healing.

Join the priority list for Healthy Love Academy

Transcript

Sam Morris (00:02.958)
Hello and welcome to whatever happened to the Gentleman podcast. So the doors to my program closed last week and so today I want to talk about as we go into quarter four of the year, the last three months.

what strategy you have to heal.

Sam Morris (00:34.328)
For those of you that don't know me, I'm Sam Morris and I have spent the past 11 years helping single men and women break free from toxic cycles and finally find the healthy love that they deserve. This is my podcast where I talk about love, dating, changing your behaviors and manifesting the life that you want and everything in between. So let's get to the episode.

So yeah, finished my launch. The doors have closed to the Healthy Love Academy. And so this episode is one, a catch up really because I obviously haven't had that much time to be recording. And just to talk about what we should be doing in this last point of the year, because so many people

will get to October and I see this time and time again where they're like, well, I'll start in January. And some of the people listening to this podcast right now will have been on the episode in January that I did about planning your year and how to make your year better. And so I just wanna say like, it's not over till it's over.

You've still got three months of this year that you can take some time for yourself, take some time to heal so that you can start 2026 as a newer version of you. And so in like the business world, and obviously as you know, I run two different businesses, in the business world, we break that down and my business coach gets us to break it down into every three months.

and the quarters of the year.

Sam Morris (02:37.258)
So it's like, so what is your goal for this quarter? And so right now, even if you didn't join the Healthy Love Academy, right now is literally the perfect time to be like, right, I have got two and a bit months left until 2026 starts. What can I do in that time to make my life better? And because like,

One of my programs, which is the 30 day nervous system healing reset,

It's 30 days. So what can you do in 30 days? And most of the people that take that and go on that 30 day journey, by the end of the 30 days, they're a completely different version of themselves. They've dealt with things that have happened in their past and they don't let them hold them back anymore. And they've developed this new sense of confidence. So in two and a half months, you can do a lot.

You don't need to give up because we're so close to, we're going to be in 2026 soon. So yes, that is what this episode is all about. So my question to you is, what is your strategy for healing? Because most people have a strategy for everything else in their life. If they want to lose weight, they will plan out their meals, they will track.

their workouts, might even get a PT. They might also get an app, I'm not here to promote any apps, but I have an app that I track how many calories I've had and things like that. It's a plan. And most people that have a plan to do with fitness, it works out as long as they stick to the plan. If you want to build a business or if you're already running a business,

Sam Morris (04:41.966)
follow a plan. You get mentoring, you look at your metrics. If you wanted a promotion at work, you would maybe go in upscale or you would network or you would set goals of, I want to be manager by 2027. How do I get there?

Sam Morris (05:08.152)
Sorry, taking a drink. But when it comes to healing a broken heart, healing from a breakup, healing from childhood and past experiences, even like childhood bullying, and getting over rejection from dating apps that is chipped away at confidence, most people just wing it. And most people will tell themselves,

Time will heal this. It just takes time. But then they start to wonder why in six months or if you were listening to this my January podcast where we set our goals for the year

people will be like, why do I still feel the same? Or why do I feel worse? I might even be more numb to this. I might have given up completely. And I've seen this happen time and time again, both with clients that have then come to me and they are in despair because they've tried to get over it. They've tried dating again and felt worse than ever.

And I've seen it with myself back when I used to be in that same cycle of pain. Because the thing is, when someone goes through a painful breakup or when someone is on what I would call a long pattern of dating, so where they are actively seeking dates, that could be on a date or not, that could be speed dating, however you're doing it, actively seeking dates and it's taking...

a while and they're not very good and they actually make you feel bad about yourself. That's what I would say is a long pattern of dating.

Sam Morris (07:08.246)
When people are in this, there are other humans that make them feel like they're not good enough. And so the plan that most people come up with, the healing plan, is I'm gonna delete all the apps and maybe I'm gonna go to the gym because clearly I need to lose weight because there's something wrong with the way that I look.

Sam Morris (07:40.298)
maybe I should sit and watch self-help videos on YouTube. And so all of these things, they may help, but obviously exercise helps with your mental health massively. But none of them are healing. Healing isn't like random. It's not a load of different activities. It needs to be a strategy, a process, something that...

deserves just as much attention and just as much intention as building your career, your body or building your bank balance.

So what I've learned after years of studying trauma, working with people with trauma, psychology and relationships, healing tends to require these three things. Awareness, knowing that something actually needs to be healed. Most people don't, most people just kind of react to pain and then they see something. This is like an...

If you've heard any of my stuff before, you'll know that I didn't know that I needed to heal either. And it was my epiphany, one of my many epiphany moments. And most people will see something, they'll see something that they resonate with on social media or... And then they're like, I have that problem. So people need awareness because you only know what you know. And if you're walking through life with kind of goggles on...

then you don't know. Number two is rewiring. So rewiring your nervous system, rewiring your belief system, and those emotional triggers. Absolutely that is what is needed. And number three is integration. So putting new habits, putting new emotional habits, emotional patterns, new belief systems.

Sam Morris (09:50.465)
into your daily life so that you don't just like feel a little bit better, you actually become a different version of yourself. Without a strategy for those three layers, you're just putting like, plasters on a stab wound. Is that a bit harsh? My coach always says whipped cream on garbage.

But that is what you're doing, you're just kind of making it look better. So if you're listening right now and you have been trying to get over someone by distracting yourself or going on more dates or if you've convinced yourself that you just need to move on but actually don't know how to do that, I just want to get a little bit

honest with you just for a second and ask you what's the plan?

Sam Morris (10:58.53)
What are you doing every single day that moves you forward, that moves you closer to being emotionally free, to being grounded, to being so in love with yourself that you never accept unacceptable behaviour again and to being ready to have actual, real, healthy, aligned love? Because if you don't have a strategy,

Sam Morris (11:33.368)
And I don't want anyone to get me wrong here because it's not a failure by not having a strategy because like I said, we only know what we know. But now you've got the awareness because I've just told you about it. So there's no excuses. This is your starting point.

If we think about it like this, you broke your leg. If you broke your leg, you wouldn't just be like, I hope that my leg heals.

Sam Morris (12:08.322)
just because you could still walk a little bit and maybe you read some motivational quotes about your bones. You would go to a doctor, you would rest, you'd maybe do rehab exercises depending on how hard, like how badly you broke that bone, and you would learn to walk again with strength. You wouldn't just go out running. And emotional healing isn't any different to that. It's just that you can't see it.

And it is kind of like a rehabilitation program for your heart.

And so I want to get you to sit down. Obviously if you're driving right now or you're out running right now, then do this part when you get home. But I want you to sit down and I want you to actually write this out because when you are writing...

if there's lots of research into how it kind of comes into our brain and makes things more real rather than just saying to yourself and because of the way that memory works this episode isn't about memory but the way that memory works is that we don't always remember everything and we pick out the things that are most important to us so if you are out driving and think yeah I could do that and these are the

this is the strategy that I'm gonna come up with, the likelihood is if you then go about your day and you're at work and you're doing other things, you're probably gonna forget about that. So sit down, write it down. The first question is, what is my strategy to heal? So what am I doing intentionally every single day, every week, because some things are weekly, you know, if you're trying to build yourself confidence and you decide to,

Sam Morris (14:06.232)
join a new group, that's not gonna be a daily thing. One of my clients, she went and did burlesque dancing and obviously that's not a daily thing but she went and did that to like boost her confidence and then she had me and her burlesque teacher like kind of, not hammering her but saying to her, right, these videos are awesome.

and you need to post them. And because she looked like she was super nervous and don't worry, I don't make people do these things, but it's individualized. She posted them and the amount of feedback she got from people that was just like, my God, this is so beautiful. you've actually made me want to now go and explore things. But the levels of confidence that she has gained just from doing this thing is just...

Absolutely, like you can't even put into words. So yeah, so what are you doing intentionally every day? So you should have a daily task that helps you heal and every week to release the past and to build some emotional safety within yourself.

And if you don't know where to start, that's okay. Go along and listen to more of these podcast episodes because you will find things in there to help you with that. I've got lots of different episodes all around the healing process. And of course, if you do want some support with that and an actual structure with tools, with a plan and someone to keep you accountable, then...

go look at my one-to-one programs. Obviously the doors to the Healthy Love Academy are closed, so it's just one-to-ones right now.

Sam Morris (16:09.134)
but you need a strategy and you need a practice to stop repeating our patterns, to start building healthy, secure love from the inside out. Healing doesn't just happen, it has to have an intention. And so when you finally have a strategy for this healing, everything starts to change for you.

Sam Morris (16:38.55)
And so...

Sam Morris (16:42.254)
I only really wanted to jump on just to get you to start thinking about these things because in my launch, and obviously the doors opened to the Healthy Love Academy, I had, I think, over like 2,000 people register their interests for this live and then they didn't show up.

for themselves.

Sam Morris (17:16.974)
and

feel like people know that there is a problem with lots of things, not just with kind of healing and things like that, but with everyday life, people go through and they're like, there is a problem here, there's a problem here, but then don't actively seek to do anything about it. And so from this episode, I want you to take away, actually, I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna make a plan of how I'm going to get over this.

so that my life can get better because all of these little problems and whatever the reason that you have for listening to the podcast they manifest in other areas of our life and we just don't realise so they manifest with the people that we have around us I'm not talking about dating I'm talking about like friends they manifest in the way that we interact at work do we speak up when actually we don't agree with something or not

They manifest with our family where we will shrink ourselves. So all of these things, they're within your body and even if you think that, they might not be a problem for me, it most likely is.

And so sit down, work out what you are doing daily and weekly.

Sam Morris (18:47.416)
for your healing.

for your self development. it has to be like, the daily task can be something very, very small. Like I say, go back and listen to other podcast episodes. I'm not gonna go into those things right now. But very, very small daily activities. I will never, ever say to anyone, you need to do an hour of meditation, you need to do an hour of journaling, an hour of colouring, any of that, because we live busy lives and most of the people that listen to my podcast, listen to it when they're on their way to and from work.

I know this from looking at the stats. So those people are busy and probably don't have an hour every single day to dedicate to that. But you probably do have three minutes. And there are episodes that I've done that have talked about little three minute exercises. So go back, find something and commit to yourself. I'm just going to do this for three weeks. This is

three minute activity on a daily basis, three weeks. Or as simple as my self love cards. They have daily activities for you to do and they're very short, they're very quick.

I'll link them below actually because they are really helpful. And that's all. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with anyone.

Sam Morris (20:19.832)
Please share it with one friend that you think might need to hear it as well. And if you are ready to create your own healing strategy, I will drop a link below to some of my free resources that you can get and paid, the self-love cards are paid.

Sam Morris (20:44.3)
but I have a few free stuff so...

And just remember, having hope feels great, but having a strategy is what actually heals you and gets you the life that you want. Thank you. Until Morris. Speak to you soon.

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