The 3 Manipulation Tactics Toxic People Use on Dates (And How to Spot Them Fast)

Have you ever left a date feeling confused, guilty, pressured, or somehow responsible for someone else's behaviour?

In this episode, I share a real-life experience with a man who tried to manipulate me into working with him for free—and the exact same tactics are often used by toxic people in dating and relationships.

As a former probation officer who spent years working with domestic abusers and people displaying high-risk behaviours, I recognised the warning signs. But even then, I noticed how easy it is for manipulation to pull on our empathy, our discomfort, and our desire to help.

In this episode you'll learn:

• The first manipulation tactic that makes you feel sorry for someone
• How embarrassment can be used to lower your boundaries
• Why boundary testing is one of the biggest dating red flags
• How toxic people gradually gain control in relationships
• Why saying "yes" once often creates bigger problems later
• The warning signs someone may be emotionally manipulative
• How to protect yourself without becoming closed off or cynical

If you've ever found yourself attracted to emotionally unavailable people, struggling to enforce boundaries, or repeatedly ending up in unhealthy relationships, this episode will help you spot the warning signs much earlier.

Because healthy relationships don't require guilt, pressure, manipulation, or constant boundary testing.

They require respect.

🎧 Listen now and learn how to identify red flags before you become emotionally invested.

#DatingAdvice #DatingRedFlags #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalAbuse #ManipulationTactics #RelationshipAdvice #ToxicRelationships #Boundaries #SelfWorth #DatingCoach #NarcissisticAbuse #EmotionalManipulation

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Transcript

Sam Morris (00:00.982)
me talk to you about the time that someone tried to get me to work with them for free as a dating coach by trying to manipulate me in the same way that they would try and manipulate you if you were on a date with them. So they came to me, they said they had a problem that they

were never fully committed to anyone. They had never been faithful in any relationship that they were abusive emotionally, not physically, he said, but to women and he really struggled with if a woman said no, I'm not gonna be with you and he would get super super abusive and we were on this call for

about an hour and a half and I let it go on a lot longer than I normally would and I learned a big big lesson from that but one of the key things that came away from this was he wanted to work with me because he may soon become famous and he wanted to be able to

essentially say, Well, I've been working with someone if anyone ever came out and told a story. So the the first thing that he did was he made me feel sorry for him and he talked about how he didn't want to be this way and how he really wanted to change and it's like a a trigger in within us to have empathy for someone. So when someone admits that they are a role, that they are working on themselves, we automatically feel sorry for them.

It's it's an automatic trigger, right? Obviously I've worked with a lot of narcissists over the years, so it doesn't work that well on me. But even then, it did get me a little bit because I I stayed on this call for way too long than I should have. The second thing that he did was he made me embarrassed for him. We was on a Zoom call, he adjusted his camera, he made out that his camera like fell, you know, like that.

Sam Morris (02:19.541)
And I saw his pants. He was sat in his pants. He had a shirt on, he was sat in his pants. He made me feel uncomfortable. Because uncomfortable people don't use their brain logically. People that feel sorry for someone, like I'm in I'm embarrassed for him at this point because I've just seen his pants. And I'm like, Can you adjust your gamma?

It's embarrassing to have to say that to someone and therefore this person is now on the upper the they've got the upper hand on you. So that's what they did. And then the third thing was they they pushed my boundaries. We we went back and forth and he was like, Yeah, I want to work with you and so I said, How much I cost? And he was like, well, I haven't got that. So is there any chance that you could just do it?

through email that we could just have d sessions through email and I was like I don't do that for a start. Yes, I do text my clients, I do talk to them via message, but they're paying clients. I do email my email list, but if you wanna work with someone on a one to one basis, then it's all in. And he really went on and on about how he really needed his help but he couldn't afford it right now but

in the future when he's famous, he's gonna have loads of money and he's gonna be able to pay me back and and all of this stuff and this is exactly how people they pull you in because you start to feel sorry for them. And a thought did cross my mind of, you know, how great would it be because I actually do want to help people, how great would it be? I've seen it time and time again, where I've turned people and and helped people who who were abusive in relationships

to being able to manage to not be like that. So it did make me think, you know, that that would be nice to be able to do that. And then I thought, he's pushing my boundaries again.

Sam Morris (04:24.417)
And that is what you need to keep in the back of your mind constantly of they're trying to get me straight away, trying to push my boundaries straight away. And once they do it, one time, you'll allow that one time, that sets the path for the rest of your relationship. And yeah. If you want to learn how to make sure that that never happens to you again.

Then come and join me in my two day live masterclass where I will be showing you exactly how I filter people in in life. I don't want to be surrounded by terrible people and how I filter dates based on what I learned as a probation officer working with some really extreme behaviours. Comment, I'm in, hello.

And I will send you the link and I'll see you in there. You don't need to have to deal with this anymore. Because I'm gonna show you how you can actually find a decent human very quickly, very easily without going round and round in circles and being exhausted by dating.