7 Back to School Tips and Tricks to make the Transition Easier

Mom Support Call 

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Hey mama, is school starting coming up? I know it is for us. It's around the corner. It's just a few weeks away. And my nerves and anxiety are through the roof about it. I am worried about what the next teacher is going to be like. I'm worried about what the after-school situation is going to look like. And the bus ride home. I am feeling the nerves. So I have put together a list of seven tips and tricks that have helped us that I have learned over the years that have helped us to have better, smoother transitions. Let's check it out. Welcome to the Autism Diagnosis to Confident Mom podcast with Kira from Cura Brown Coaching. I'm a mom of Neurospicy Kids and a life coach. I'm here to share real tips and support to help you feel confident as a parent. Hi, let's jump right into those seven tips or hacks on back to school with neurodivergent kiddos. Stick around for the last two because they have made the most impact in my life. Tip number one: if you are new to a school, email the principal and request an IEP or 504 meeting. An IEP will change the actual curriculum that your child learns. So whether they need advanced curriculum or easier curriculum, then you're going to want to go to an IEP. If you just need some accommodations for sensory and behavior modifications and those kinds of things, then you're going to want a 504. It doesn't change what they're learning in class, it just changes what they're allowed to do in class. So that they are aware of it, so that if something arises in the future, they're not like, where did this behavior come from all of a sudden? They're well aware of it. Sometimes the special education department. All of these people are who you want to work with. You want them all on your team. You want them all to work with you. You want them to know that your child may need some special accommodations. And just a quick bonus on accommodations. Everybody in life has accommodations. Let's think about when you go to someplace new, to a new grocery store. What is there that accommodates you? There are signs that tell you what is in each aisle. There are lights so that you can see. There are customer service representatives that can help you find specific things. There are lines in the parking lot so you know how to park safely. There are crosswalks so that you can be safe crossing from the parking lot into the front of the store. There are a different, we all have accommodations, and so it's not special treatment for your child. It just is part of life. We all have accommodations. Um just our neurodivergent kettles need some different accommodations, and that's what we're requesting in these IEP or 504 meetings. But just notify the school that hey, we have a diagnosis, and I just want to be proactive instead of reactive. And I've had those meetings, and I didn't come out with a 504 or an IEP, and I could decrease for the school year, and they just knew. But then a couple years down the line, the other kids are maturing more, his behavior doesn't seem as normal. Now we're starting to see some problems because I've already established that, I've already given a diagnosis, those kinds of things. Then it was easier to get that 504 because they already knew and it was already on the radar, and the teacher wasn't like, this is just a behavior problem. The teacher was like, Oh, yes, I'm starting to see um some signs that he's having problems. So um, number two, meet my student paper. You go to back to school night, and there's all the kids. It's crazy, right? And if you're like me, you have four kids and you're taking them all, and you're meeting all the teachers, and you're filling out the paperwork and they're dropping out school supplies, and it's kind of crazy and chaotic for me as a parent, and I only have four kids. Can you imagine how crazy and chaotic it feels for the teacher? Whether you have a small class of 12 or 30 or 40 students, however many kids are in your class, right? So I have created, and I can't take credit for this, I heard it on a podcast somewhere. Um, Amy to meet the student paper. So on a piece of paper, I've typed up, I just have a picture of my student so that they can recognize them, um, learn their name quicker than you know, and um I put their name on there, obviously. Um I think I put their age and what grade they're going into, whatever. Um, and I put a vision. What do we what do we see for my child in life? What what is the goal? What are we hoping for? Um is your child non-speaking? And so the goal is not to be integrated full-time into the classroom, but to be in the classroom as often as possible, or um, is your child do well without a lot of accommodations, but you just want the teacher to know, hey, this is this does happen sometimes when it gets overstimulated, dysregulated, whatever. Um, do you expect them to be regular citizens in life when they grow up? Do you expect them to be great friends? Do you expect them? Um, how how do you want them to interact in the world? Put your vision down. Anything. There's no right or wrong here, okay? Um, then you're gonna list some of their strengths. You're gonna list, um, and I did this in their strengths. You can do it however you want. If you want a diagnosis box, you can do that. But I put their diagnosis and I listed it in the strengths box. Um, and then I listed some of the strengths because of those diagnoses. Um, like detail oriented for my autistic keto. Um, but you can write down in another box what are we working on? What works for me, what doesn't work for me? A spot where you can have special interests so they know what they can connect with your child with before they ever get there. These are all things that might be helpful for the teacher. Um, you I have used these not just for back to school, I have used these for after-school child care programs, I have used these for church leaders, I have used these for extracurricular activity. Like when we start something new and he's gonna have a new person in charge. Well, I've done it for both my son and my daughters. Um, I've even done it for my daughter with social anxiety. I just give them a heads up. Hey, this is what's going on in this child. Um, and then I would put your contact information on there too. But you can pass them out to as many people as you feel comfortable with. If you're gonna have more than one, let's say they're gonna have a para that works with them or something, give one to the para as well as the teacher. Okay, but these are really, really helpful. Um tip number three: communicate often. Um, a lot of times teachers will say, Yeah, I'll let you know if we have problems. Okay, double check. Hey, I'm just wondering how the first day of school went. A lot of teachers have some sort of app that they use to communicate. Don't be afraid to over-communicate. Hey, we're having a rough morning. Just a heads up in case he's having a hard time. Oh, he's on the bus and I forgot his medicine. I'm sorry. Let me know if you need me to come. Those kinds of things, get communicate openly with them. Um, also, if you communicate often, you have a better understanding of how they're doing. Because if you ask at parent-teacher conference, like if you wait until parent-teacher conferences, they're gonna have 10 minutes to talk to you, and then you're gonna get an overview. Like maybe overall they're doing okay, but if you talk to them on a weekly level or bi-weekly level, whatever you want to do, then you're gonna know they're gonna be more apt to share the little nuances with you, and you can be like, Oh, okay, I understand for him. That means this is going on, this might be helpful. You can help them out before it becomes a major problem, or you can address things at home, you can reiterate things, you can get them in a social lunch bunch or something, like you can make other plans sooner than before it becomes a huge problem. So communicate often and your teacher will appreciate it. I've never had a teacher that's like, I wish you wouldn't communicate so much. I've I've never had one. Okay, tip number four meet the whole staff that your student is gonna work with and give them your contact info. So for me, um, that's my principal and vice principal. If if my student ever has to go to the office for any reason, that's who they're dealing with. So that's who I want them to know. This is my child, I'm their parent, I am aware of their challenges, I am aware of their strengths, I am willing to help. Here is my phone number. Okay, um, I meet with the school counselor. I I communicate with the school counselor pretty regularly as well. Um if they're working with any paras or the special ed department or the life skills department or whatever, go meet them, know who your child is going to be hanging out with, give them a paper about your child so that they understand what's going on. So maybe we don't have any accommodations because we're pretty high functioning, we're less accommodation, we need fewer accommodations, so it looks like behavior issues. Well, so let's say we get overstimulated one day when we have a sub and we melt down. Then when the vice principal or principal is called into the room, or the school counselor is called into the room to help, they know what's going on. So meet everybody on the team. Um, and don't just meet with the teacher. Tip number what number am I on? Five. Be flexible and have an open mind. Um, we might go in thinking we need a 504, we need official accommodations written down on a paper, and we get rejected. Um, a story in my life about that is with both of my kiddos, actually. I went in and I requested it and they rejected it. And um so I was like, okay, all right, we won't have one. They're doing fine. I'm going to watch, I'm going to be villail diligent about being aware of what's going on at school, and then when there are problems, I can re-request a meeting, right? So I did that. Um with my older kiddo that needed a 504, it really stressed me out, and I worried, and I was mad, and I was um I acted like it was everybody else's fault that she didn't get a 504, and I was against the teacher and and all the things, and it didn't really work out in my favor. But with my second kiddo, when this happened, I realized okay, this means they're doing well in school right now. So I let them know he has an autism diagnosis at the at that time. So we are just going to roll with it. We're just gonna roll, and we did. We rolled with it for two years, and he did fabulous without a 504. And then when he went into second grade, actually, we did three years without a 504 because he did pre-K too. Um, and then when we rolled into second grade, I was communicating with the teacher often, and things were coming up, and I said, What do you think about a 504? And she says, I think that's a great plan. I said, I don't know that we're gonna this particular teacher. I was very, very blessed because she just made accommodations without a paper telling her she has to legally do it. She was amazing that way. I wish every neurodivergent kid could have a teacher like that, but um, but I said, not everybody's gonna be you, so would you mind helping me get a 504? And she's like, yes. Email the school counselor and let's arrange a meeting. And she went in that meeting and said, I wholeheartedly agree with this. So um I didn't have to stress out. I could be open-minded that maybe for now we're okay. And at any time you can go back and request changes or to be re-evaluated for a 504 or an IEP. So be flexible and open-minded. Tip number six go in thinking that you are a team, that everybody on this team has a best interest for your child in mind. You might disagree on what the best interest is, but they all care about your child. They're not in education because they hate children, they're in education because they care about children and about the future, their future. So if we go in thinking that we are a team and we're not fighting against them, we can make a lot more progress. Um, it has been amazing. When I was when my life coach mentioned that, hey, you're going in there with your guns up, you're going in there ready to fight, and they know that and they can feel that. She's so she recommended, hey, let's just everybody's looking out for the best interest of my son. We just might have different opinions about it. The whole nature of that meeting changed. The whole feeling in the room, the whole they were more willing to cooperate. They were, you know, okay, I see why you're concerned about this. What if we did this? Because we can't do that. What if we did this instead? Or it was a lot more accommodating, it was a lot more back and forth. Um, it was amazing. Just changing my mindset, going into these meetings, talking to a teacher, talking instead of being like, oh, they're against me, they're gonna, you know, we're all in on the team, we all want the best for this student. And my final tip is be a hundred percent honest. If you go into a meeting and you say, hey, I'm really nervous for how this is gonna go this year. I haven't had great luck with these meetings before. But this is what I'm feeling. I'm feeling nervous, but I really want you to understand that I feel like my child needs accommodations. It opens up the conversation, they explain things better, they um they are more cooperative. So I would work on being a hundred percent honest. If you go into school and you say, Okay, we have we are working on this thing at home right now. I'm not sure how this is gonna go in the classroom. I'm a little nervous about it. Your teacher's going to appreciate that vulnerability. Um, I have a situation where my son was uninvited from the afterschool program for the end of the year last year for about the last month of school, and he's supposed to go back. I have a lot of reservations about that. As far as I know, we still have the same teachers that we didn't agree with or the same leaders. We still have, you know, I'm I'm not sure how that's gonna go. He hasn't built relationships with those leaders because of the way things went down. And so I'm gonna go and I'm gonna talk to my principal and be like, I'm really nervous for how this is gonna go. What is our backup plan if this doesn't go well? I'm willing to try, but because I'm gonna have that open and flexible mind, right? But if it doesn't go well, I'm pulling the plug and we're not gonna do this. So I'm gonna be 100% honest about my insecurities and my worries so that they know where I'm coming from, and hopefully then they'll feel comfortable letting you know where they're coming from. You've got this, mama. We can do this, we can adjust to back to school. Um, I'm telling myself just as much as I'm telling you, we can handle this. We've done it. If you haven't done it before, we can do it. If you need help, reach out on a mom support call. I'd be glad to help you. I'd be glad to be in your corner. Um you're doing better than you think you are. We'll talk to you next time. Thanks so much for listening to Autism Diagnosis to Confident Mom. If this episode helped you feel a little more seen or supported, please take a moment to like, follow, or subscribe to the podcast. And if you know another parent who needs to hear this, share it with them too. We're all in this together. You're doing better than you think, mama. You've got this.