How Small Habits, Shared Stories, And Support Networks Help Us Heal

Season 1, Episode 32

We unpack a song-fueled habit challenge, explore how Emerge N See supports PTSD recovery with real community, and share honest moments from a week of anxiety spikes, parenting teens, and hard-won coping tools. Hope shows up through small steps, skilled support, and a thought that reframes struggle.

• song of the week and a one-habit challenge
• why Emerge N See exists and who it helps
• Connect Hubs as safe, funded peer connection
• donations and plans to interview the founders
• anxiety during everyday life and sport
• parenting teenagers while protecting recovery time
• coping unmedicated with CBD and THC oils
• outpatient skills program and Remembrance Day support
• craft, joy, and a reflection on post-traumatic growth

If everybody could take the time to share it, that would be amazing as well
You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow

Song of the Weeks:

Kasey Musgraves - Deeper Well

https://youtu.be/TGkMYMxi-hw?si=G3UFnMiqxkxS1R31

Thought of the week:

"one day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful" 

Transcript

Welcome And Year-End Energy

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey there, welcome to Mad Mail's Mike. Thanks for joining me. My name is Melissa and this is a podcast all about me. About my life. About my life with PTSD. About my life with the husband and kids and friends and everything in between. Thanks for tuning in. Hello everybody and welcome to episode 32. The year is certainly drawing to a near, and I can already tell by my calendar that the silly season is very much here. So let's get this episode started and see where it leaves us. So thanks again for tuning in to another episode of Mad Mills Mike. I know I feel like I say this every episode, but it still baffles me that I am recording my 30-second episode and people are still listening. So thank you. I really appreciate it. If everybody could take the time to share it, that would be amazing as well. So this week, once again, I feel like I've been ridiculously busy. But let's start as we normally do with the song of the week, which is Deeper World by Casey Musgroves. So let's have a listen. The first one was Rainbow. And what I like in that song is that we're getting rid of the habits that drag us down. And I think that's so important to remember and realize that whatever some of the things we are doing, and we get caught in habits of that, whether that be relationships or friends or addictions and TVs and stuff like that, and even a phone, like, are these habits good for us? So, and I know certainly for me that my habits are not necessarily good, but we still do them anyway. So I'm going to challenge myself over the next week or so as to look at what sort of habits that I'm doing, whether it's sitting in front of the lounge or sitting on the lounge in front of the TV all day. I know it's not healthy for me, but I enjoy it. So I challenge you to have a look at just one of your habits, big or small, and see how you can change it as well. So yeah, I challenge you for that this week. I wanted to talk about this week a charity called Emergency. And they are a charity set up by two ex-police officers who have lived experience in relation to PTSD. So let's have a chat about that and see how they can help you. So Emergency is, as I said, a charity that was started by two amazing humans, Alana and Pia. And they look, I don't know a lot about their history, but they are good friends, and they both found themselves leaving the police force as a result of PTSD. And Emerge N C. And I know if I say it too quickly, it sounds like emergency, but it's Emerge. So E-M-E-R-G-E, new word and C S E E. And it's an Australian registered charity, and it was founded through lived and lived in experience of service, trauma, and treatment and recovery. And they're to help all emergency services, so not specifically police. And whether you were paid or a volunteer or your past or you're presently serving. So they don't discriminate against the different emergency services, and you don't have to have been a paid employee of that. So and uh their logo and the or their motto is is that we can help you emergency a better future whether you are returning to service or no longer able to serve. And uh it's across New South Wales and ACT, and I know that the girls are wanting to expand across the whole nation. So, and they're there to support current and former serving employees, and uh they just uh support us. So, whether you're going through the process at the moment of medical retirement through a physical injury or a psychological injury, they have the resources on their website or even on their app to help you along the way. And because a lot of people because the girls who run the charity and a lot of the volunteers or contributors to the charity have also been or are going through the service, the process of getting out of the emergency service that you are in, they're able to help you in a way that not other, a lot of other organizations or charities are able to. So one thing I like about the charity is that it's giving back to the service providers and the emergency service workers, where I know for myself we spend so much of our careers giving to others, and these girls are continuing to give to others through this charity, and they have things called Connect Hubs. So across the state and in ACT as well, they have the which is run by volunteers, they have the thing called Connect Hub Groups, and so it's just whether or not a group of like-minded people, so across all the emergency services, get together and have a chat and go for a walk and do activities so you can still feel connected. And I know some people will think, oh, like, is it all confidential and things like that? And it's a hundred percent confidential, it's all paid through for the charities. So whether or not you're going paddle boarding or grabbing a coffee or having lunch or whatever the case might be, it's all funded, and it's just a nice way to connect back into the community because I know that once I left the police, it was very isolating, and those who were serving don't often understand the full extent of PTSD and the ramifications of it. And I often felt that when I had left the police, it was almost like I had leprosy and nobody wanted to talk to me again for fear of catching PTSD. And I think the nice thing about these connect hubs is that it gets you together, it gets you out of your comfort zone, it gets you out of the house, and it's that camaraderie and that friendship that we're often lacking. And I just think it's so nice that the girls have been able to get this charity up and running, and I am so proud to be a part of that as well. So I'll just talk a little bit more about emergency. So the girls at the charity are passionate about supporting emergency service personnel through well-being, mental health, and quality of life. So if I can encourage anybody who's still currently serving or has been medically retired or in the process of being medically retired, jump on the website and have a look through it all because even if it's just the smallest of things, these girls in this charity are going to be able to help you. Have a look at the app, see if there's any connect hubs near you and go along. I know the first one is going to be daunting and you're going to be very apprehensive about that. And I completely understand it, but if I can please encourage you to get along to one of the hubs, like these hubs are incredible, like the ones on the central coast, they're going um motorbike riding if that's what you're after, or sailing, and like just so many different activities that just gets us out of the house. And I think it's important to be able to find like-minded people, and it's not about dwelling on the past, it's not about talking war stories and things like that. Because I look, I'm gonna be honest, I don't want to hear that. For me, a lot of my work, I try to compare compartmentalize it and put it into a box, but I don't look sometimes. It's about just being there for one another and sharing our stories and everybody else's stories and where they are up to in their journeys and things like that, because we can learn from other people's experiences. So have a look at them. They are an amazing charity, which I'm very, very proud of, and the girls should be very proud of as well. So, and if you can, even a dollar helps the charity as well. So I don't want to be plugging every episode about donations and things like that, but I think emergency is a an amazing charity that has helped and is helping so many different people and emergency services. So please dig deep if you can. So next year I plan on doing some more interviews and things like that, and I would definitely love to get Pia and Alana on and have a chat about emergency because what better way to get the charity bigger and growing and supporting other people is by talking about it. And I think it's important to go to the source themselves, and they will be able to shed a lot more light on the charity than I can. So, yes, that's that's the plan for next year. So the week that was for Mel, would you be surprised I told you that I was playing pickleball? I played pickleball on Wednesday, and I played pickleball on Friday, and I played pickleball on Sunday. So I've been pretty busy playing pickleball and I really love it, I'm really enjoying it. So, yeah, we actually my husband and I went to the Ronald McDonald Garliball in town. So we have a Ronald McDonald house in town, and every year they have a fundraiser event for that, and I had to dress up, and for those that know me, I hate dressing up if I have to wear anything other than tights or trackies. It's not my scene, but it was actually really nice to get dressed up. I was disappointed that my hairdresser daughter had her Christmas party on in the city, so I had to do my own hair, which was a pain in the ass. But look, it was a beautiful night, and they raised a fair bit of money for the Ronald McDonald house, and it was really touching because they had a young family up on stage talking about how they have benefited from the Ronald McDonald house in at Westmead. And I think we become so complacent in our everyday lives that we take for granted about where we are up to and the health of our family and our kids and stuff like that. And I think it really hit home to go, well, I am just blessed by having three healthy kids. And yeah, it's it's hard to imagine a life differently. But charities and organizations like Ronald McDonald House really do help those families from regional communities that are getting treatment for their unwilled child. So yeah, that was a really fun night, actually. They raised a fair bit of money, which is awesome. But yeah, what else? I haven't actually been out on my bike lately. My head's been doing really well. I did we've had a few things going on with our eldest, which I'm not going to get into, but it's been a journey, and I've found a couple of times my anxiety has sort of not peaked but spiked, and I haven't had any issues with anxiety for a little while. So it's just been trying to learn how to combat those things and what I do as a result of that because I am still unmedicated. I am on my CBD and THC oils still, but that's the only thing I'm on in relation to my head. So it's just been interesting trying to navigate how I get through these times unmedicated, and I'm happy to say that I still haven't throat punched anybody, and that is my form of measurement, but I'm just learning again how to feel and what I do with these emotions and stuff like that. So I am proud of myself that I am learning how to do this unmedicated, and it has been a hard slog. And I remember on Friday night at Pickleball, there was I had some phone calls from the kids and stuff like that, and my anxiety, I could just feel my anxiety creeping up and up and up, and things like that have an effect on what you're doing at the time. And at that time, I was playing pickleball, and I remember saying to Mel because she was there as well, I said, My head is not in this today, like I'm trying so hard to focus on the game, but my I'm so distracted by what's going on, and it was nothing bad, it's just new. And just a bit of a segue. I remember because we had kids quite young, a lot of our friends' kids quite younger than ours. And I remember people saying, like, what's what's the most challenging age? And I don't think there is a most challenging age, it's just different. And so all my kids are teenagers now, but they've still got different challenges, and as parents, we're still learning how to navigate these challenges. So I don't think it matters what age it it is, it's hard having kids. But I can honestly say that I'm really happy that we have the relationship with our kids where they can come and talk to us about anything. So, anyway, segue back to pickleball. Look, I still had a great night, but it was just very difficult to try. And I literally wanted to stand on the pickleball court because I was so distracted, my head wasn't in the game, I was getting frustrated because I was making stupid shots and missing things. It was like I had a hole in my paddle. But yeah, it was it's just about trying to navigate all of that. That is sometimes really, really difficult. But I think it's important just to take a couple of big deep breaths and go, okay, what can I do at this point? Is there anything I can physically do now to help this situation? And more often than not, the answer is no. And it's about redirecting those thoughts, and that's bloody hard work, and it's very, very draining. And I'm tired. It's just been a few big months just with life, and particularly coming out of hospital in August. What's that? August, September, October, November. I've only been out three months, and I spent a good eight weeks in there. So trying to navigate that, navigate life without meds, and navigate the changing dynamics of parenting, and that's just that's just fun. Like my second daughter Rory, she's just finished her exam with her her HSC. So she's at home constantly. So trying, and don't get me wrong, I love having her here, but for me, it's also nice to have the house to myself during the day so I can sort of recharge and things like that. So yeah, it's just trying to balance everything as well. So, yeah, things are going pretty good. I'm heading down to Saint John of God this week for an outpatient program for a week, and that's the STAER program. I can't remember what STAERE stands for. It's something about interpersonal relationship skills. And it was look, I'm really looking forward to it. I've got some good mates that are doing it with me, so it'll be nice to spend time with them as well. So that's my plan. It's Remembrance Day tomorrow as well. So, yes, I'm recording on the 10th, and Remembrance Day is the 11th. So if you need anything during Remembrance Day or if it triggers anything, please reach out to your support network or your treating parties and things like that. And just remember you're not in this alone. And I know that I constantly say that our mental health is our own responsibility. Yes, we need to put the work in ourselves, but it's important to know that there are and there are people in your corner fighting for you, whether that's treating parties or not. But yes, we have to put one foot in front of the other and we have to do the hard work, but I think it's important to remember that treating parties and our loved ones are so uh instrumental in our rebuilding and getting to that post-traumatic growth period of our recovery. So, yes. I haven't really done a lot. I have been getting into the um 3D book nook puzzle things, and it's Christmas, and so I'm just constantly putting together these craft things all in Christmas, and I'm actually really enjoying it. I've gone back and started at season one of watching the block, and I tell you what, it's cringy early 2000s, but it's been been quite fun. But yeah, I haven't really been up to a lot this week. So let's finish with the thought of the week. So, the thought of the week this week is one day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. And isn't that lovely? Like, we're well, for some of us, we're currently at the bottom, we're at rock bottom, it's really, really dark. But just remember that this is a temporary speed bump. Yes, it might fucking hurt like hell, but you will get there, and that when we look back retrospectively, things are going to be clearer and things are going to look brighter, and you can be proud of where you've come from and what you've done. So just keep that in mind. Have a good week and be kind to yourself. Thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in to Mad Mel Time. I'm ISIS Lynn, and I hope you've enjoyed it. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. Have a great week, and don't forget to be kind to yourself.