Raising A Future Police Officer Through Trauma

Season 2, Episode 6:

Watching PTSD up close is one thing. Watching it happen to your child is another. For this conversation, I bring on my mum and dad to tell the story people rarely hear: what it’s like to raise a strong-willed kid, cheer her on into the police force, and then sit in the shockwave when trauma finally shows up years later.

We talk about the proud moments and the ordinary memories, but we also get real about the scary parts: not knowing the right thing to say, worrying when the phone stays quiet, and learning that you can’t “fix” someone else’s depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress. We unpack why PTSD can feel sudden even when the signs are hidden, how stigma around mental health hospitals can keep families stuck, and why inpatient care can actually be the safest, most supportive step forward.

We also go into medical retirement at 37, the loss of identity that can follow emergency service work, and the coping strategies that helped me climb back, including education, therapy, medication, support from my husband and kids, and the small daily wins that signal the old me returning. If you’re searching for honest first responder mental health stories, PTSD recovery, and what family support really looks like, this one will land.

If it helps, share it with someone who needs hope, then subscribe and leave a review so more people can find Mad Mel’s Mic. What part of the parents’ perspective hit you hardest?

Thought of the Week:

The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse - Daniel Mackesy

"Sometimes, said the horse, Sometimes what asked the boy. Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent" 

Transcript

Welcome And A Different Perspective

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey there, welcome to Mad Mel and my name is Melissa, and this is a podcast that we talk about my life. About my life and about my life with my husband, and friends, and everything in between. Thanks for tuning in. Hey everybody, and welcome to episode 6 of Mad Mel's Mike season 2. Thanks for joining me today. Today's episode of Mad Mel's Mike is a little different. I know that you've heard my story before, my timeline in the police, my diagnosis with PTSD, and what life looks like after medically retiring at 37. But today you're going to hear a story from a perspective you haven't yet heard. The people who watched it all unfold from the sidelines, my parents. They saw the little girl. I think I'm going to cry already.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

We're not even going to get through it. I'm telling you.

Before Birth And Early Childhood

SPEAKER_03 0:57

The police officer I became. You push balls. And the moments when things started to change. So today we're talking about what it was like raising me, watching me join the police, and what it was like as parents when everything changed. Mum and Dad, welcome to Mad Mel's Mic. Alright, so thanks again for tuning in. I'm just going to put it out here and apologise in advance that it might be a long, slow episode if we can't even get through the intro without crying. So, mum and dad, welcome again to Mad Mel's Mike for joining me. Um, just when you are talking, just make sure you hold it up to your mouth and stuff. So, what was your lives like before I was born?

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Holy smokes. Before you were born, well, we had two others. We had Matthew and Emma. What's your other kid's name? You love it, yeah. And we were very excited for Melissa to come along because I wanted four.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

That was before we had one.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Yeah, I know. But then we then we had Melissa. I thought this is lovely, little girl, but that's it no more. So we were so you knew that was it. I was your full stop. Yeah, that was it, yeah. No more, no more children after you, Melissa. And um, yeah, we were very excited. Yeah, oh good. But life was busy with two little ones.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Yeah, yeah, because what's the gap between Emma and I? Five years and six between Matthew and I. So there was a bit of a gap. Yeah, there was a gap between me. Yeah. Um now, this is probably a funny question, but not funny, but did you think I would be an easy child or a handful? We never gave it any thought.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

We just enjoyed having you and just did every day as it was. Enjoying the baby and the other kids, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Never thought of anything, really.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

Yeah, I don't think we were any ev ever think about if our kids are going to be hard work or not. We all sort of hope that they're angels and perfect, but they never are. Yeah, except me.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yeah, yeah, no, your kids' good, really. Um yeah. Melissa slotted in very well. Yeah, I didn't have a choice. No, that's exactly right. There is no choice. No, exactly right.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

All right, mum. Yes. What was the first what was going through your mind the first time you held me? Oh, the first time I held you, that was obviously in hospital.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

It's going back a few years. Yeah, that's exactly right. He's going back 42 years. Yeah, yeah, long time. Um, yes, no, I was very happy. The first thing I saw, you had this little funny spot on your ear. I just said and I thought, oh, that's interesting, but very, very happy. Good, very happy. I was happy it was a little girl. Yeah. Oh, you were happy to have another girl? I was happy to have another little girl. Wouldn't have mattered what I had, but I was happy to have a little girl. Yeah. Had your name picked out.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

It was good.

unknown 4:02

Good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:03

And Dad, what were your first what was your first reaction when you found out you were having another girl?

SPEAKER_04 4:07

Well, I don't think it worried me either. I never gave it much, you know. I'd never won another boy and another girl, it was just fine, it was all healthy and all the fingers came up well. Ten out of ten.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

All my fing fingers. Fingers and toes. And what was I like as a child? Pink and purple.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Oh, you know, I think you're telling being. Yeah, but that was later on, but Yeah, but well, as a child, from what are you what ages? No, just me as a kid.

SPEAKER_04 4:38

Like I don't think there was any problem.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Well, you were very sporty.

unknown 4:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

You liked to do sports. You had your own opinions very much. Now I wonder where everyone gets it from. Yes, yes, because you know, I had to stop buying you clothes at four because you had your own opinions about clothes. So I said, Oh, I'm not buying you anything anymore, Liz. I said, You have to get your own clothes. So we did. So you would go to the shop and pick out your own clothes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

If I had my own opinion, that would have had some resistance.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

Um didn't need back to anymore.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Yeah, I look to be quite honest, I can't really really think that you were hard or easy. I think you just slotted in. I think we just all did our own thing and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

And in your opinion, who was the stricter parent?

SPEAKER_02 5:30

In my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

Yeah. Yeah, in both of your opinions.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

I think your father was probably more strict than me. But what do you think? He may have a different opinion.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

Yeah, but that's don't forget I'm probably at work most of the time, so most of the discipline was on your mother's because she was home with the kids a lot more.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Yeah. I think from my memory, Dad was stricter. But if you got mum cranky, then you knew you really messed up.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

Yeah, I have to say, it takes a lot to get me cranky, but when I'm cranky, I'm really crazy.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

I remember running down the hallway trying to get away from getting smacked. Yeah. Smack with the wooden spoon. Oh dear, yes, yes, I remember that. Hiding on the top bunk thinking, Mum can't reach me because she's so short and harsh. I still reach her, don't you worry? What sort of personality did I have growing up?

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Well, I think you should have given us a bit more notice about these questions.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Oh yes, and mum and dad have these are the first time they've heard these questions, so oh dear.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Um we need a bit of time to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Has it changed much? No.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

No, I don't think I don't think personality's changed much. Really. No, no, not really.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Um what's one story from my childhood that sums me up? Mum's got her thinking face on. Um thinking. We can come back to it if you can't. That sums you up. Or just a funny story or something. Um, we need to forgive the oldies because they've got early onset dementia. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

Well, there's many memories, but no nothing that really hits you. You know, that's funny stories.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Oh, I don't know. We might have to come back to that one.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

Yeah, okay, we'll come back to that one. Was there a moment when you thought this kid is going to be strong-willed? Oh, probably back to the clothes.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Yeah, yeah, we did have, yeah, she was strong-willed. Yes. We did, we did notice that, yes. Yeah, from from very early.

SPEAKER_04 7:43

We never worried as much as we just could carry on with life, you know.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Yeah, yeah. Um, mum, was there anything about me that worried you growing up?

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Hmm, yes, and you might not like the answer to this. Okay, well tell me. Well, Melissa was the most Dutch-looking out of all of us, and the thinnest out of all of us. And then she got into her teenage years and she started to eat. And she would not stop. And I said, Melissa, you need to stop eating. Okay. No, it didn't work. So that would that was a bit, I was a bit concerned about that. Oh, and then she wouldn't study for her exams. Melissa, you need to study for your exams. No.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Okay, don't then.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

I don't care. And the third one, I didn't bother. So yeah, so yeah. Not the exams didn't worry me that much, but the eating was of a concern. Yeah. Yeah. But that's okay. It's all good. I like eating too.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

And Dad, was there something as a kid I did that made you proud? Can you think of any?

SPEAKER_04 8:57

I think you're very good at sports. I think you um did very well as the um working in the chemist. That was always good. Yeah. You know, and uh obviously when you left there to join the police force, I thought that was a big effort. You started to study. You put a lot of effort into that, and we went down to what um Goldwyn and graduated, it was another proud moment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Well, let's not jump ahead too much. We're still still talking about as a child. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

We're still in a child like that.

Teen Years And Work Ethic

SPEAKER_03 9:24

But that's okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

She said what a proud moment. I was just saying that's what it was.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

No, I too agree with that though. Um, was I an easy teenager or a challenging one?

SPEAKER_02 9:37

I think you're an I think for us you're an easy teenager, but I think you got up to some mischief that maybe we didn't even know about. Probably lots of mischief, which is probably normal, but you did work, worked part-time, and that was good. You worked in the chemist in the pharmacy, and yeah. I don't know whether you really liked it, but you did it. You never gave us a little bit? No. Academ his name? Yeah. Acad and Faris. Ferris, yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:04

They love you.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Yeah. Can you think of any of the biggest trouble I got in as a teenager? I don't think I ever did get in trouble. Um I just never got caught.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Yeah, that's the that's that's the thing, yes. That's it, you never got caught. I don't know because I yeah, I don't know.

Deciding To Join The Police

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Don't know what trouble you get into, really. Okay, so what did you oh just quickly, did you think I was going to follow a certain career path when I was in my teenage years?

SPEAKER_04 10:37

I don't think she gave any indication of what you wanted to do.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Well, I thought you might have in your teenage years might have thought of the force. Yeah, I thought of the thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

My memory was that I always wanted to join the cops.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

Yeah, I think it was pretty much like that. Yeah. For me, I think that's what sort of you did want to do because you started straight away. Yeah. So I think it was was that. Well, I don't think it was the academy, so obviously at some teenagers. Yeah, that's right. So I don't think there was any other sort of profession that you have ever really said.

SPEAKER_03 11:06

No. No. So I think it was definitely the police force. And what did you think when I told you I wanted to join the police?

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Good, good, but a bit nervous, yeah, you know, being in the police force. Yeah, but no, we were happy that you did you wanted to do that, and yeah, that was that was fine. That was good. But yeah, obviously, as parents, you think, oh, it could be a bit dangerous, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

But no, apart from that, proud, worried, or both, or all of the above.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

All of the above. All of the above. For me anyway. What about you, Dad?

SPEAKER_04 11:39

Yeah, I don't think I had any fears really. I never gave it. I was really proud you were doing it, never did look on the negative side of it.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

And did you ever worry about my safety while I was working? Like if I went to work.

SPEAKER_04 11:52

Not greatly. We've had a few stories like Mad Druid stories and that sort of stuff, but never really worried a lot of it.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Yeah, yeah, no. It cross it would have crossed their minds, but definitely not worried about it. Yeah, but it definitely crossed their minds.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

I do remember you saying, mum, at one point that if police ever knocked on your door, you knew something bad.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yeah, something bad was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 12:14

Yeah, and I think that's just probably always in the back of your mind. Yeah, yeah, but not yeah, but you don't dwell on it and you don't make it you know the thing that you live by. So Dad, I know you've touched on this already, but what did you think when I graduated and officially became a police officer?

SPEAKER_04 12:30

We're a proud moment. Yeah, we're really excited to go down there and see all the crowds and and talk about with families. Yeah. Well, your siblings as well.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

My parents too.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah, I think they were down there. What'd you say? You just said, were they alive? Yes they were. Yeah. You can tell we're old.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

And there has been no dementia diagnosis yet.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Not yet. Yet being the operative word, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

Well, forget about it.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Um now did you notice changes in me during my time in the police?

SPEAKER_04 13:14

Yeah, just trying to think. Um No, because we went to Walgott, you know, it was a great time there, and I don't think it had too much uh pressure there as such as although you're still in the police force and then went there to Burke, the PCYC, so I don't think it probably impacted you, although you would have seen some horrific things in Walgott and Burke as well. But I think being uh general duties here in Orange, I think, would have been starting to change a little bit, just a bit more pressure.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

Yeah, I I like in the early years is that it's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, just yeah, probably not in the early years. I think it was good that we you talked about bits and pieces, and you know, I think because there was Nazi action at Walgett that time.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Yeah, we don't need to talk about specifics. Oh, I can't. Oh, sorry, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um only because I can't actually remember what you're talking about. Yeah, well that's a good thing. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

So no, I don't I look. Okay obviously you would have changed. Yeah. Because the academy's a different place altogether.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

And I think like for me, looking back in terms of how I changed, I know I became a lot more cynical. I looked at people through different lenses. Okay. Um but no, I don't think I don't know, I guess you become stronger as a person because that's what you have to do. Yeah, working in the cops, but I think that first big change would have been from the academy to starting at Mount George because that's a massive shock to the system, and it was either a sink or swim station. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

So that's where I remember you said that a lot, you know, you some of the people they dealt with and kids they've dealt with. Yeah. That really affected you like the language and that sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

I don't think I don't think it affected me. No. I think it was just a culture change. Yeah, just it just a shock because we had lived quite a sheltered lifestyle, and I hadn't seen that other side of society. So I don't and I think with my PTSD diagnosis there was no lead up, it just was one day I broke. Yeah, like for me. And you might say something different because the next question is looking back, were there signs that I was struggling?

SPEAKER_02 15:26

We I di I didn't see really any signs. Yeah, because it was I didn't see anything either. No, I didn't see any signs with you struggling. Things would but obviously when looking back at that, that's exactly what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

That's exactly yeah, because as soon as like on the 15th of February that night, I was having nightmares from jobs I'd been to 18 years before.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

Like, so they were obviously somewhere in the back of my brain that I thought weren't an issue and they ended up were.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Yeah, so it w it was a shock because we didn't really know anything about it, so yeah, it was a shock.

PTSD Diagnosis And Family Shock

SPEAKER_03 16:04

I think it was a shock for everyone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um did you understand what PTSD was before that?

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Very little.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

We we we we we knew of it, yes, we knew of it. PTSD was post-traumatic stress, you know, disorder, yeah. But um didn't obviously didn't know anything about it, but yes, we did know of it.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

Yeah, yeah. And then you gave us that information and and some of the audio gave us.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but that wasn't wouldn't have been for another two years either. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Because there was a long time between my diagnosis and my first hospital stay, which is when what it sort of for me, I sort of f started to understand it more myself, which was then I could give that information to you guys and the rest of the family and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

Um, what was the hardest part about watching me go through that?

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Not being really, I guess, not being able to do a lot for you. That that's the hard part. What do you do? You know, you you can say we we're here for you, but there's nothing really we can do because you had your own family, you had your kids, you had your husband, you know. So there's not really a lot we could do. We support you in whatever. You brought me Lego. Oh yes, we brought her Lego.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Lots and lots of Lego. And massages and Lego.

SPEAKER_04 17:26

I know obviously at the hospital, we drove down and saw you, and yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

Yeah, yeah, your guys always made an effort. And I think with mental health as well, like and I've said in previous episodes and stuff, like there's nothing anybody can do for you. Like you need to put in the hard effort to help yourself. And I know somebody who's been through it, yeah, like you just want to be able to snap your fingers and fix things with people, but you can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

So you can't do it. So just supporting, like, you know, taking time to go down and visit, you know, in the hospital, visit at home, be helpful at home, you know, if she's struggling with whatever around the house, you know, just being supporting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

And as my mum, what was that period like for you in sort of the first 12 months of my diagnosis?

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Well, pretty hard, I guess. You try to keep your emotions in check, you know, so that you don't fall apart when you you see her. Yeah, you know, when you see Melissa and um just trying to be be here and be positive, yeah, positive, but but then also accepting, you know, like when she goes to bed at 7 30, I'm going to bed now. Okay, bye dark. Tapping out.

unknown 18:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

I did that a few times, I remember that actually. Yeah, yeah, tapping out. So I thought, yeah, okay, that's good. Yeah, and just sort of if anything was said or done, don't take it not to take any, you know, take it to heart or offence or anything like that. It was just how it was.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

Yeah, yeah. And as my dad, did you ever feel unsure on how to help me?

SPEAKER_04 19:04

Oh yeah. Scared stuff I said the wrong thing.

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Yeah. Yeah, but not intentionally.

SPEAKER_04 19:10

Oh no, it's always part of it, you know. I guess it's um learning curve for all of us. Yeah. And I think it was all touchy touchy.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

You know, yeah, well 'cause you don't know what to say. Do you know? Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 19:23

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

So if you don't say anything, then the person probably thinks, Well, they're not very comforting or they're not very helpful. Then you say something, you think, Oh, I'll put me foot in that one. Yeah. So well, phone calls were different.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

You know, what you say and what you shouldn't say, and yeah, I think that was proof we spoke to you regularly. Yeah. That was always nice. And if we didn't hear from you for a day or two, you'd always be worried.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

Yeah, that yeah, if we didn't hear from you for a few days, that would think, I wonder how she's going. Yeah. Yeah, that that would cross our minds regularly. Because I think as a whole, as a family, we're all pretty close and we often ring each other, and when we go away, we let them know we're home and safely, and we all do that, which I think is nice. So when you don't hear from your kids for a little bit, you think, oh, what's going on? Yeah. Yeah. Whether you're alright.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

So and I remember in the first sort of early days of it, like in the first three or four months or so, like talking to anybody was hard work.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Yeah. Yeah. So I just tried not to do it. Yeah. So which then it makes it hard for everybody else. It was scary when you said you couldn't even get to the front door.

SPEAKER_04 20:28

Yeah. See people. Yeah. I said a couple of years ago, you couldn't even answer the door.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

No. Yeah, we just had a package delivered, and yeah, there would have been times it wouldn't have gone up there. Actually, there would have been times where none of the blinds were open. Yeah, that's true. So it looked like nobody was home. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Well, you used to hide behind the kitchen. Yeah. If someone walked down the road. Holy smokes, that's bad.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Isn't it funny like just to look at it now retrospectively of how far I actually have car. Oh, you've come a long way, Liz. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

It's been you wouldn't even go into town unless car went.

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Yeah, one of the kids I'd have to have somebody to hold my hand.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Yeah. Yeah. Not literally, but and I think that was when it then that's when it really hit home to us how bad you were. And you know, because we didn't know because we weren't here with you. So that was sort of I went away, oh that's bad. Yeah, that's serious. That is serious. Serious. I think you might have been those famous words your father says. Yeah. Lumpy bumpy. Yeah, lumpy bumpy. She was a bit lumpy bumpy that one.

SPEAKER_04 21:32

But we had visions of people at the door, you duck in for cover.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Look, in hindsight, it is a little bit funny, but it certainly wasn't at the time.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

No, not at the time, but yeah. But it's good that you can.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

But I know like I uh certain spot where I sit on the lounge, we've got like that glass cabinet.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

And I can see the reflection of somebody coming down the driveway. So I would always I'd have the two blinds there shut all the way and then that one shut most of the way. But open enough so I could see people still coming down the driveway.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Yeah.

Medical Retirement And Identity Loss

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah. Yeah. So what went through your mind when I medically retired?

SPEAKER_01 22:12

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

I don't think it affected me much. I thought it was probably the best thing to get out in a situation that you needed to get out.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yeah, I think for me, I think that was where it was going to end. I think you needed to do that, and um I think that was the best thing for you. And I know you really enjoyed being in the police. I know you really did enjoy it. But when it comes to the point that you were at, you need to get out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

And I remember the day we had all sort of made the decision with my treating parties. I'd walked out of the GP and just felt like that massive sense of relief.

SPEAKER_04 22:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:52

Yeah, not going back. Yeah. But it wasn't necessarily hard because I think it was harder thinking that I might have to go back.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

So knowing that I didn't have to go back was the easier decision to make than having to go back because I had tried a couple of shifts from home as well, and that just made it even worse. So um yeah, so for me, I don't think the decision to leave was particularly hard. Yeah. It was a lot of other things, like disappointment and loss of identity and things like that. Like it's I don't remember ever wanting to do anything else. Yeah, and it's not how I saw my career ending at 37.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Um with three and the kids were littleish. Well that was five years ago. So what Mackenzie's 18, so she was only 13. Like so, yeah, they've dealt with a fair bit, and they've all been at that age where they understand as well. Yeah, which has made it hard on them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

Particularly you spend a lot of time away from home.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Yeah, or in there from 2023, yeah, and look a fair few hospital stays in there.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

So but also too, pardon me, with the PTSD, you you also had depression and anxiety. Those three things, yeah, the you were a a walking mess.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Absolutely a walking mess. And I think the thing is too, though, that is important for everyone to remember is that just because I'm okay now, at this minute, doesn't mean that something can't change tomorrow. Like PTSD, depression, and anxiety are unfortunately going to be stuck with me for life now. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

You can control it better at this stage.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

At this stage, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it's not to say something might not trigger me in six months' time and then spiral go back down. So it's just that roller coaster of ups and downs, and if we can keep the ups and downs further and further apart, yeah, um, that's what we're aiming for.

SPEAKER_04 25:02

So you can control the downs more that you know you've got it. Whereas initially you probably didn't know you had it, and therefore.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

Well, I always knew I had it. Oh, okay. Like so as soon as my diet, because I didn't have any mental health issues before then. So um I I've always known I've had it, but I think I've had a lot more education and different methods and stuff on how I can if I am having a bad day, say with my anxiety, there's a few little coping strategies that I can do and stuff like that. So a lot of the education I've done through the hospital has helped with those as well. So yeah. Did you worry about my life, what my life would look like after I retired?

SPEAKER_04 25:47

I personally didn't think much about it because we had great support from Kale and the kids, and you know, I thought you'd be okay. You know, that we were more worried about your mental health in the future.

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Yeah, like it it didn't really concern me, but I did think Melissa is the type of person that she needs to have be busy. She needs to have something to do. So then I thought, well, I wonder what she is going to do. I she loves reading, loves playing sports, but was that going to be enough? Yeah. You know, to sink her teeth into I I yeah. I did not that I was concerned or worried, but it did cross my mind for sure.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

Yeah, I started the company. And that went well, you poured everything into that.

Coping By Staying Busy Then Injury

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Yeah. Yeah, but that was that was how do I say it? That was me hiding. Yeah, that's right, absolutely, yeah. Behind what was actually going on. So if I was keeping myself busy, I wasn't having to then deal with my head, which is why then I um threw myself into all my exercise and stuff like that. And instead of dealing with what was actually going on, I was just masking it. And yeah, not and then I obviously had to start dealing with it when I did my ankle in 2023, and my only coping strategy was gone.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Yeah, yeah. Um but in saying that you didn't know any better. No, that's so you were in your own mind really trying to to cope and do something about it. You weren't just sitting back saying, Oh, I'm done, oh I can't do anything about it now, I'm gonna give up, blah blah blah. You actually went out and did something, and that was exercise and starting up that little business, and which was which was all positive at the time. Yeah. And since then you've learned how to do have little strategies and be able to cope it a bit better with it.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

So and I think it's important to realise that just keeping yourself busy doesn't fix anything. No, that's right.

SPEAKER_04 27:42

So physically wear you down and then yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

What was the hardest part of that time for you? Of that time. Yeah. What when you were trying to Yeah, so sort of let's go from when I was diagnosed in 2021 to before I did my ankle. Like when I it probably wasn't actually all that hard. I think the hardest part for me was when I did my ankle.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

And that probably would have been the same case for you because then that's when the wheels really started to fall off.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

Yeah, the wheels did fall off then up until then. Um even though you were diagnosed, we just thought everything was going along not too badly, you know, really, because you were exercising and doing lots of different things. But yeah, when you broke your ankle, that was that was it. That was yeah, you were not a happy chappy then.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

No.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

No.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

That is for sure. I remember we'd be driving in the car and I'd drive past somebody running, I'd go, look at this fucking idiot showing off that they can run. What jerks? Don't they realise I'm in a moon boot?

SPEAKER_01 28:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Everybody should stop doing what they enjoy because I can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_03 28:54

Yes, yeah, that was so dad, did you ever feel angry about how things ended?

SPEAKER_04 28:59

No, I don't think I had any anger, I think. I just there was a moment of concern, you know, and um hoping you'd pull out of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that's the same. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

And mum, were you worried about my future?

SPEAKER_02 29:17

No, I I don't think I was no, no, like not in terms of work or not in terms of family. No, but I think maybe in terms maybe that you could rise above it and get to a point where you were more stable. Yeah, I think that was more more the focus that I was on back then. Yeah. You know, that she could sort of find you an even playing field, really. Yeah. Um, because you know, there were the kids were young and you know, it was a lot of a lot of um time, yeah, that the kids had to deal with it as well. And so you sort of crossed it crosses your mind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Yeah. I think it's been a big learning curve for everybody. Yeah, I have. Like for myself, but for us as an extended family and you guys and stuff like that, too. Like, because I know when I've interviewed all of the three kids, one of the questions was, What have you learnt as a result of this? And that's they've all answered it, and they none of them listened to the episode, so they hadn't listened to each other's, and they all answered exactly the same. Is that they have a better understanding of their own mental health and for that of their friends as well. And so and I think that's probably a good positive that we can take out of my head breaking.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

If none of this happened, none of us would know about how to be able to be sympathetic, no, to anybody else's p going through it. And it's not just something airy-fairy, it is actually a disease that goes on.

SPEAKER_03 30:45

Yeah, well, PTSD is an injury, like your brain, your brain actually changes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:50

So you can relate and can can help other and know what they're going through, the journey they're having.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

Yeah, and that's been good. So when did you start to see the glimpses of the old me coming back?

SPEAKER_02 31:07

We've actually said quite a few times, oh there's Melissa, she's back. She's back now, she she here.

SPEAKER_04 31:13

Um I took two or three trips ago here because I see that Carl Melissa's lights are starting to come out a bit.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Yeah. Yeah, and and just recently too, I think you said that you know you've cleaned out your linen press. Oh, yeah. Whoa, wow, Melissa's back. Here she is, she's doing some housework. Good on her, that's excellent.

SPEAKER_04 31:32

On the veggie garden.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

On the veggie garden, yeah, and and just just doing normal things that you would have been doing years ago. You know, that that we do see it. Yeah, yeah. And you don't have to go to bed at 7 30, that's handy. Yeah, that's good. That is nice. Yeah. And smiling, smiling a lot more. And but I think our trip was a big help for all of us. Oh yeah, we went on that trip.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

Oh yeah, we went to when was that? 2024? Yeah, 2024. Yeah. Yeah, I hijacked mum and dad's holiday to Canada, Alaska, and LA and we had a great time. Yeah, it was. I got dad stoned multiple times.

SPEAKER_04 32:10

I think it was good therapy for mum and hot.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Well, yes, especially for you. In Canada, you naughty boy.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

It is all legal over there, just so you know. Yeah, that's exactly right. Um, was there a moment when you went and you realised I was going to be okay?

SPEAKER_04 32:30

I don't think we ever doubted that you wouldn't be okay. I think it was just a slow climb back. My personal idea.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

But we did a lot of praying. Oh, yeah. I know that's probably sounds silly to a lot of people. Yeah, we did send out, you know, messages of help. Yeah. You know, to pray. But um, like, yeah, we just had to leave it and think positive and say, yeah, she will get better. That that she's not going to stay there. And because you are a determined person too.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Yeah, I'm pretty stubborn.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Yeah, well, not so much you're probably stubborn, but like determined. You knew what you had to do and you wouldn't go back.

SPEAKER_00 33:06

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

You know, and I'm not saying that it it can't, you can't go down again, but you're strong enough to get back up. And you realise when you need to go back into hospital. So you're it's all working together with you in your mind. So, which is which is really good. So, no, I don't think we've really worried about you not getting better on some level even ground.

Suicide Fears And Hospital Stays

SPEAKER_03 33:31

And now this might be a tough question. Did you ever worry that I would die by suicide?

SPEAKER_04 33:39

I don't think it really crossed my mind as such. I know you did say that you had moments but I didn't really I think because you went down that road, I felt you would control it. You know.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

Yeah, but it still crosses your mind, even though we didn't know in the beginning. Um, but you know, you hear of so much of this going on.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

Yeah, I know you know.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

And you don't want to lose your daughter. So you just say you've got to do everything you can. Whatever you need to do, whatever you need to take, whatever tablets or medication, whatever wherever you need to go.

SPEAKER_03 34:21

Still recording. I thought it I thought it stopped.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

So and wherever you need to go, you've got to do it because there is no alternative. No. Do not do, do not commit suicide. It's horrible. It is, you know, it it would be a terrible thing.

SPEAKER_04 34:34

More damage behind.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Oh, yeah, because yeah. Well then that then brings me back to some stupid part in my life where you know my mother was really sick and she wanted to commit suicide and she was going to do it with dad, and they had it all planned. And I said, You can't do that, that's not fair. Yeah. So yeah, so no, there's no, there's no no no choice. But yes, it did cross at my it did cross my mind. Yeah. I think that there is, but then I try not to dwell on that either. You just move forward.

SPEAKER_03 35:02

And the thing is as well, like you can think and try like there's nothing that you guys could have done at that point anyway.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Because that's exactly right.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

So I think once the decision, well, I know once the decision's made for somebody to die by suicide, they're gonna do it anyway.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Um so yeah, that was and how how what were your thoughts and feelings with my first hospital stay, which was in June 2023?

SPEAKER_02 35:33

Like Wow, that's nearly three years ago. Then we went and visited down there.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Yeah, yeah, no, but not about visiting, like what were your your thoughts? And like there's a lot of stigma still behind psychiatric and mental health hospitals and things like that, and um having one of your own kids spending I think what we thought was really great, she's getting great support in a great place with psychologists and mental and it would have helped because you went there and you were able to see it and see what the place is like and we're not even had a lot of. And in straight jackets.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

Straight jackets. Oh, yeah. No, I for me I was really h happy. Yeah, so I was very, very happy that you had found somewhere that you were not staying where you were, that you were looking for help, and there was help out there.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

And that's got to be a positive outlook as well to go, okay. Well Melissa's knowing that she needs help, that she can't do this by herself. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:37

Um downhill you would book yourself in straight away.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Yeah. Yeah. So the first time we were very, very pleased and we're very eager to get down and visit you. Very eager.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

And um, and we were happy we did. We were happy we did it.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

And you know, from memory in that first day, I was there for about eight weeks. I think we were there nearly everybody weekend. Yeah, yeah. That's about a two and a half hour drive for you guys, isn't it? One way.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, it's two and it's you know, that's a lot. No, no, no. It was never. We were we were happy. We we felt better doing it than not doing it. So we would always do it. And even now we will still do it.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

Yeah, so which is we've had many a party in that dining room at the hospital. Until we get kicked out by security. Check with the follow-up.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

And of course, you know, Melissa being Melissa, she gets there and she organizes the what was the food, the oh the social club. The social club, so she's organized and and everybody just loves Melissa. She's got friends down there, and then we know these people, and oh I'm so so no, we were very, very happy.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Yeah, we were.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

And we were happy to know where she was going, that it was a really nice place, it was good, it was well set up and organised, and yes, we were very relieved.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

And what do you think helped me the most during my recovery?

SPEAKER_04 37:57

I think probably the fact that you addressed it and you wanted to get better. And um going to do um God was a big help. And obviously found your support. Probably a bit of everything, you know, your motivation, tablets, medication, tablets, and going to the daughter guide and the fact that you really booked yourself into get treated. Yeah. Really knew what you had and you wanted to repair yourself.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

And I think also, too, for you, it was you need to do to do it for yourself anyway. Yeah. You know, because you needed you've had your family here, but what was the question? I've forgotten.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

What do you think helped me the most during my recovery? Combination of recovery.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

Yeah, I think there's probably a combination of everything, but knowing what we believe ourselves, I think God had a hard part in that as well. I know that probably sounds really uh silly, but I think our prayers that kept us going as well. Yeah, putting it in, putting it back onto God and making asking him to look after you, that was that was something because we can't do anything. No, we just can't do anything. We can be there physically, we can give you a hug and a kiss and massages and whatever else, but something else of a higher power needed to step in.

SPEAKER_03 39:11

So yeah, I definitely agree with that too. Yeah, so what do you think about me speaking openly about my experiences now?

SPEAKER_02 39:20

I think it's fantastic. I think it's great if you're able to do it.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

The biggest part of healing is to acknowledge it and speak about it.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

Yeah, yeah. I think for me, like this podcast is very cathartic. And I know you haven't listened to a lot of episodes, you've listened to a few, but I speak about it quite a lot as this is my like dear diary type. Sorry about dad blowing his nose, he's been crying quietly in the background. Yeah, and he's got a snotty nose now. Um yeah, so for me it's my dear diary, it's my journaling, and yeah, that's yeah, it's been helpful.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it is helpful.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

What do you think when you listen to Mad Mel's Mike?

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Well, I must confess here now, seriously. We're very keen. We still are keen, we just don't get around to doing it. I think we've listened to the first three episodes.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

I was very excited about that. That was good.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

So I don't know what's happened when she's done season one and here we are in episode four, is it?

SPEAKER_03 40:20

I think we lived at season two here anymore. This will come out as episode six, season two.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Episode six, season two, right?

SPEAKER_03 40:26

It's 35 episodes last season. So we've just got one or two to catch up on.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. So I yeah, I think it's I think it's great. Yeah, yeah. I think it's really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

It also helps other people.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

100% it does, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:40

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

And I've always sort of said if it can help one other person and they feel not so alone in listening to my journey and gives them a little bit of hope. Well then one person is better than none.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

So that's exactly right.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

But I know from messages and stuff that I've got, I've certainly helping more than one person.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

So that's great.

SPEAKER_03 41:00

What makes you most proud of the person I've become?

SPEAKER_04 41:05

Addressing what you had and doing everything you could to get over it. I get through it. Yeah. Knowing that you want to get over it but to control it.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much the same for me. Really? Oh, there's something wrong with my brain today. I can't remember the questions.

SPEAKER_03 41:25

What makes you most proud about the person I've become?

SPEAKER_02 41:28

Well, because you're Melissa.

SPEAKER_03 41:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

You're Melissa, you're our little baby. Little baby.

unknown 41:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

No, it's great, it's really good. You have become a really strong woman.

SPEAKER_04 41:40

You've always been strong.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

And you've yes, you have. But through all of this, is you've I think you've become stronger and you I think you understand others too. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because of what you've been through, and I think what you're doing is really good when you're going out to all these other, you know, your your mad mills, Mike, and all of this and the other things that you do. I think it's really, really good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:01

I think you're so what do you think people misunderstand about emergency service workers?

SPEAKER_04 42:08

What they're going through. As frontliners, you mean? The pain, the suffering, the hurt, and the brokenness of what they see. And they just take it for granted that you just do it, but they don't realise what you're actually going through.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Yeah, I think I think that's the main thing. I think uh not everybody obviously, but a lot of people just think, oh, they're there, they they can cope. Oh, yeah. They're able to cope, they're strong.

SPEAKER_03 42:33

But even the strongest Well I think it's important to realise that as emergency service workers, we aren't robots. We are just people. Yeah. Um, but I remember a store a funny story, mum, that you said to me one day, like it went something along the lines of Melissa, like, there was about six or seven cops in this like cafe. Like, what do you think was going on? And I went, they're probably just getting a coffee. Oh, oh, do they do that? Yeah, we we we're normal people, we drink coffee too, but and that's but that's the as a parent of somebody in the police force asking that. So you can only imagine what other people's perception is of emergency service workers when they don't even have a child or somebody that they know in them. Like we are like you we put on this uniform and people just see us as police officers or ambos or fires or whatever it is, and don't actually see that there's a person underneath that that still has the same emotional issues as any other person as well.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

So and a good example of that is when you were back at Mount Druid, you were telling us about you had to go into in the middle of the night and you had to go and find this stolen motorbike. I can't remember. And you had to jump fences in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

Not a motorbike, looking for a guy, a person.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

A person, yeah. That had done something anyway. And you said, holy smokes, mum. I had to jump over this fence and I'm scared. It's pitch black.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

And you know someone else with the torch and said, I'm going back to the view.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

I don't think I would have done that.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

But you were funny. You because you showed then that you were scared. Yeah, I was scared. You were scared to go jumping over those fences in the middle of the night trying to find somebody that you didn't know what to expect. Yeah. Because you don't know what to do. No. Anything on them or anything.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

We put ourselves in positions and that people only watch in movies. Yeah. Like and I don't think a lot of people realise that. And I think they do to some extent. But yeah, like there was, I remember there being a lot of fear. Yeah. But that was all for self-preservation. I could say I wanted to be going home at the end of the shift.

SPEAKER_01 44:46

Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 44:47

And you're going into such volatile situations that you never knew at the start of the shift what would happen and if you would be going home in one piece or at all.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

Yeah. Yeah. So because you saying that obviously then reinforced it again to me that yeah, she's still human. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:02

I know she's our daughter, and yes, you know, you still think you don't go through the academy and they inject you with some serum and you become iron. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

So you you do get scared.

SPEAKER_04 45:13

I've spoken to frontliners like animals, that sort of stuff, after they've been to horrific things, and I asked how'd they cope? He said, Oh, no problems. But I'm also aware it might compound them later on. 100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

It's just that bucket. Exactly right. The bucket gets fuller and fuller, and there's only so much you can. But before you never were aware of that. No. It's just a straw that breaks the camel's back, right? Like Yeah, that's right. What advice would you give parents whose children work in emergency services?

SPEAKER_04 45:42

Get counselled in as they go along. Just have a bit of debriefing often, regularly. 100%. And sincerely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

Yeah, talk. Get it out of your system. Talk about it when it happens. Yeah. Yeah. And encourage them to do it. I mean, that's what they want to do, that's fine, but get them to talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

Yeah. There's a lot of stigma in it as well. I think a lot of frontliners don't want to go there. And get counsel because of the thing.

SPEAKER_03 46:07

Because there still is a stigma in the yeah. Well, I know in the police there still is that many times.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

We're okay, yeah. Yeah, we're okay. We're we're tough. We can do this. We can we know we sh can't show our softer side or whatever. But yeah, you can't.

SPEAKER_03 46:19

Well, heaven forbid you cry at work. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And what do you think my biggest strength is? Motivation.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

Your biggest strength.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

Coffee, a great strength. You are able to talk and to relate and to share now.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Yeah, that that that is that's your strength. You have always been a gregarious person anyway. Um you like people. You know, I think that's a b a big strength of yours, and you are you are a strong person. Even when you were little, you were strong-willed. Um, but I think also to your family, you you your strength is also your family. Yeah. I think that I think some strength comes from the family, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:05

Your family shows the strength because they're great kids.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Yeah. And husband.

SPEAKER_04 47:09

Oh, husband. Yeah, but he was brought up before he goes all right.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Yeah. But his stuff by me through it all. Like I've seen so many relationships fail because of PTSD and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

Carl encouraged him.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

And he would never walk away. No. Um was there a moment where you realised something was really wrong with me before? No, don't worry about that question. Um If you could tell me something you've never said before, what would it be? We don't much we really don't say to one another. No, I know.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

We do say a lot of things.

SPEAKER_04 47:57

Um keep doing what you're doing and do it well. Yeah, thanks, Dad.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

That we love you, it doesn't matter what happens. We love you in everything. Yeah. It doesn't matter what you know. You're just Melissa to us. It doesn't matter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

Now have you got a funny story from my childhood?

SPEAKER_02 48:17

Funny story. I know. Like I can't even think.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

All I can think of is and it's not even really about you. When Lauren, when she rang up, said someone's children's. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh my gosh, that's got nothing.

SPEAKER_03 48:33

That's got nothing to do with me at all yet.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

Oh boy, one of my friends from school.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

Bring anything to mind.

SPEAKER_01 48:38

It's just many stories. Oh my gosh.

Thought Of The Week And Goodbye

SPEAKER_03 48:42

That's alright. I don't know, I can't think of this. Alright, would you we're going to do the thought of the week? Oh, thought of the week. And mum is going to open the book. Um, what's the name of the book again, Mum? Just read it.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

This book is called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie McKeese.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Is that how you say it?

SPEAKER_02 49:04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Wow, every week I've been saying it in a different way.

SPEAKER_02 49:07

M-A-C-K-E-S-Y.

SPEAKER_03 49:08

Yeah, I can't I can't my head can't get those word those letters out. Oh, really? No. I've got Macasay, Maxie, like Mackeesey. I don't know. Maybe I'm saying it wrong. No, actually that makes sense. MacKezey. Forevermore it shall be MacKezey until I forget how you pronounce it next week when I record.

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:27

Random page.

SPEAKER_02 49:29

Random page. Is that what I'm supposed to read? Yep, let's read all of that. Okay, here we go. Sometimes, said the horse, sometimes what? Asked the boy. Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent. And so be it, never a truer word was said. Melissa, we love you.

SPEAKER_03 49:50

Oh he closed it. Oh no, that's alright. I'll find it later. I'll take a photo for it. So that was Mum and Dad. Thanks for coming and joining us. Um, I've told my story many times, but hearing it through my parents' eyes just reminded me how many people walk these journeys alongside us.

SPEAKER_02 50:08

Now I just want to say we are very, very, very proud of you, Melissa. Excellent. You have done a very, very good job. You're a wonderful mother, wonderful daughter, wonderful sister, auntie, and all the rest of it. But you still want to kick me in the ass sometimes too. Oh well, you know, maybe just a smidgen.

SPEAKER_04 50:25

She's your beautiful daughter, but sometimes she's very expensive to run.

SPEAKER_03 50:30

Yeah, it's particularly the day that I'm planning for them to take me on. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

She's a bit of a con merchant, she can twist us around a little finger.

SPEAKER_04 50:40

The best wife, the best mother, the best daughter.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Yeah. Well, thanks, guys. Thanks for sharing with that the the laughs, the tears, the and thanks for giving me a headache. Thanks again, guys, and we'll catch you next time. Thanks for tuning in to Mad Mail's Mike. I'm Melissa Smith and I hope you've enjoyed listening. You can find me on Facebook and Instagram, and don't forget to like and follow. Have a great week and don't forget to be kind to yourself.