43: The Life Changing Truth About The Subconscious Mind

What if the things people say about you… are actually revealing who THEY are?

In this episode, we dive deep into the subconscious mind, projection and the universal law that completely changed the way I view conflict and criticism.

I share personal experiences of being spoken about unfairly, judged and misunderstood and how I realised people project their own inner world onto others.

If you’ve ever:

•  Been talked about behind your back 
•  Experienced toxic behaviour or conflict 
•  Felt misunderstood 
•  Struggled to let go of criticism 

…this episode is going to change your perspective completely.

If you’re currently experiencing conflict at home, work, within friendships or online, this episode will help you see things differently and finally let go of carrying other people’s projections.

You’ll sleep better at night after hearing this.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone and welcome back to Intuitive Diaries with me, Emily Marie. And for this episode, I am going to give you a complete life change. Understanding this universal law, it is literally going to change your life. It's going to make you sleep better at night. And you're going to have that aha moment that I had and think, oh my god, that makes so much sense. Wow. So the universal law that I'm talking about is basically confession by projection. And this podcast episode is inspired by Al's podcast episode. When I listened to that, I was like, oh my god, I have so many stories about this. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to get it out there. Because when I realized this, I was like, it just melted away loads of stress. It melted away loads of years and years and years of really being worried about what other people think about me. And now I sleep soundly at night. Now I just do not care about how others talk about me behind my back and how others perceive me and how they are going around their day and talking about me. Like this is a complete, complete game changer. So if you are new here, welcome, welcome. I was in a really abusive, emotionally like emotionally abusive relationship, gaslighting, manipulating, all the things, and then it kind of transferred into my social, and then it also happened in my business dynamic as well. And this is my journey of just self-development, self-discovery, of understanding why all of these things happened to me. Please feel free to go back and listen to all of those episodes about everything that I have been through and more. For those that know, well, then you know, you know that I just went through some fucking shit. And I, when I was in my emotionally abusive relationship, this guy would say the craziest things about me. He would literally say the craziest things about me. So I'm gonna unpick some things that people said about me in my ex-relationship, in a previous business dynamic, and also in a social group. I've got a little bit of a time limit here. We'll see if we get into all of them. If we don't, I'll pull it on another episode for you. I know you don't want to miss out. And I'm gonna give you a little bit of an overview of what was happening to me at that time, what the person was saying about me, and then me figuring out hang on, they're just talking about themselves. Confession by projection. This is literally what it is, it's just the person that is talking shit about you, is actually airing out how they feel about themselves. I will explain, and I always know that once you really deep dive into other people's stories and experiences, you can extract the knowledge of that experience and piece it together in your own head and be like, okay, I get what she means, and this makes more sense now that I've heard it this way. So when I was with this guy, I was with him for over a decade. Again, I am just going to be super open and just put my stuff out there, but this guy just used to rinse of all my money, used to rinse me of all my money, and like I was an energy match for that to happen at that time. Plus, I was the one that was doing it, I was the one that was just giving my money away, expecting it to come back, like he just owed me so so much money at the end of the day, and so looking back, I would always spend so much money on my ex-boyfriend when I was with him at the time, and he would always just ask for more and more and more. I would pay more bills than him, I would do all the food shopping. It just sounds ridiculous. It sounds ridiculous when I'm in this mindset at this moment in time. But I'm just feel called to say this because I didn't know I was an energy match to be in that environment, in that dynamic at that moment in time, but also I just guys, my nervous system was shook, I was not taught about these things, my perspective was really warped, I just did not know, and you don't know what you don't know. I thought that I was in a loving relationship and that I was a great person and a great girlfriend doing all these things, and slowly, slowly, slowly, he would want more money and more money and more money. And I never told anyone about this because maybe half of me was embarrassed, maybe the intuitive part of me knew that it wasn't right, maybe I don't know, it was just a bit of shame there. I wasn't the kind of person to talk about my stuff anyway, so I just my brain wanted it to be normal, so I just carried on, and it got to the point where I remember he told me that round Christmas time he had no money, he had no money at all, no money for Christmas presents. I actually went into my savings account, guys. I actually did this. I went into my savings account and I bought all of his family Christmas presents from him, including his stepdad, his mum, his two sisters, his brother, his brother's girlfriend, his nephew, his dad, like oh my actual god, I did that, and I even wrapped them as well, guys. I even wrapped them, and I even put you know, from him, I was like, Oh, I actually did that, hilarious. And me doing this, I thought that like if you were the best person, if you gave your all to someone, it would be reflected back to you, and it just does not work like that. I have got so many episodes about reflections in previous episodes. Please go and check them out. And guess what happened the next day? So I did all of this. I bought like loads of Christmas presents. Bearing in mind, I can't remember, it was like two days before Christmas or something. I was like, You're telling me this now? Everything was always last minute, everything was like always like my nervous system was shook, I couldn't think clearly because there was always like something going on every second of every day. It was just like thrown at me, thrown at me, thrown at me. Again, energy match for that. But wow, I remember the next day when I went out and just did this whole big shop for him. I saw there was an Amazon parcel. There was a bloody Amazon parcel, and he'd bought himself some new trainers and there was an ASOS parcel there as well, just for him. Oh guys, like just for him because he wanted to look good around Christmas. I did not have the balls to say anything because I knew if I questioned anything, I would just get conflict. But these kind of things happened all the time. I would walk in a pub or whatever we were going to like an event, whatever it was, and he would just be like, Right, buy me a drink, and I'd be just an autopilot, like okay, I would just spend money, spend money, spend money. I thought that that was the way that you showed love to someone. Crazy, I know, and I my brain just didn't let me see another perspective, it wanted me to feel that I was safe in what I was experiencing, and it just happened more and more and more and more until obviously I left this relationship, guys. I left this relationship, but I remember his sister saying something to me, and she was like, Oh, um, he is going around and saying that you're like really just about money, and you always want money from him, and like every time you go out and do something together, you just like this is what he's saying about you. You just all you want is his money, and he thinks that you're there just for his money. And I remember hearing that and just being so shook, and I was so upset, and I was like, one, I couldn't believe that someone who said that they loved me would talk about someone, like talk about me like that, to you know, a sibling, to anyone, and then I found out that he was talking about this subject, about me, apparently. You know, I I'm just in it for the money, but I knew deep down that it was the other way around, guys. I didn't say anything, I was like so I could not deal with conflict, I could not speak my truth. I was really programmed to just not talk back and not say how you were feeling. In fact, I was so untapped from how I was feeling. I didn't know. If somebody asked me how you were, you know, you're right, Em, how are you? I just go, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. That was my default because I actually could not express my feelings. I did not know. It wasn't that I couldn't, it was that I genuinely did not know how I was feeling. And when I learned about this universal law of confession by projection, I was like, my whole life makes bloody sense. My whole life makes bloody sense. He was talking about himself, guys. He was talking about himself, everything that he was saying about me. He was talking about how he felt about himself. Another one. This is I'm going to leave out the social one that can be for another day, but this is a great one. This is a business dynamic that I was in, and I have gone into like really big detail about this uh business dynamic previously. So please feel free to go back and listen to those episodes. But this was when I was in a very weird business dynamic, and she basically like just pulled it in my head that we were business partners and we were doing this together when actually, really, I was not on any of like the paperwork. It was a limited company, I wasn't on it. She made it out in my head like she that it was all 50-50, that I was a director, and every time like a signature moment had to happen, like when we needed to sign for the office, when we need to do something with the bank, when anything like that would arise, she would be like, Oh no, don't worry, I'll take that off your hands, I'll go and do it, you know. Again, make it sound like she was doing something good for me. I was an energy match for that to happen to me at that time, but this was the dynamic that was that I was in, and then my uncle called me because this was a year's into the business dynamic, me working at an office, like that I thought I kind of like not owned, but I thought was like mine, you know. I thought that it was my business. I thought that I was putting my heart and soul into something that was mine, and it really wasn't. And she didn't even work there, she worked for another company. It's just hilarious, isn't it? And I just worked my bloody socks off on my own all day, all night, and this happened for years and years. And I remember my uncle calling me up one day, and he was like, I just feel that something is off about what you are doing, and I've googled your company, and you are not on company's house, you are not on the like list, you are not a named director, uh named director on the limited company. And I was like, I could not believe it. At first, I was actually very angry at him. I was like, my ego, your ego never wants your reality to like crumble around you. So even if your reality is not safe and is not your highest timeline, and you don't even like your reality around you, your ego will always be there going, it's okay, we're all good. Like it will always back up your current belief systems, your current perspective. Everything around you is fine. Oh, we don't need that, we don't need to hear that. That is what your ego is there to do. So my ego was like, How dare he? How dare my uncle like look me up? Like, why is he snooping? I have got this, I've been working on this for years, I don't believe him. It took me a minute, you know, took me a minute, but then I mustered up the courage to look myself, and my reality did crush around me, and I just couldn't believe it. My nervous system was so shook. I was just in such a bad place at that time in my life. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, I was doing like drugs and alcohol. Like I was about to say nearly every weekend, it was every weekend. I was in, you know, not like a supportive environment. And where I was in my business, I thought it was my business. I thought I put my heart and my soul into something, and I was basically working my bollocks off for somebody else, and she was just my perception of that was that she was just like waiting for it to blow up so she could leave her job that she didn't like and probably just like get me out of the way or something. I don't know what, I don't know what her plan was, I don't know, but yes, and I remember being like, wow, I can't believe that this is happening to me. I can't believe for all these years I have been working so hard, and she has just been literally saying, drilling into my head that it's our company, our company, our company, your director, you make the decisions, you know. She was like talking about yachts, and we'll have a studio in London, we're gonna be millionaires, and she went and saw psychic, and this psychic saw us doing uh you know design work for blue chip companies and all of this, and I my beautiful naive head believed it. I believed it, and I remember calling her up with all the courage and strength that I had, and being like, My uncle, I can't even remember how I said it, I was just so blunt because I could not communicate what I had seen, and I was like, My uncle said that I'm not on company's house and the business isn't mine, it's just a hundred percent yours, and she just went absolutely ballistic to me down the phone and started saying things to me like, Well, I think that you're conspiring against me, I think that your family, like your uncle, is conspiring against me, and they want me out of that business, and they want to take over the business. She's just talking about what she wants, she's just talking about what she was doing in her own head. She was just talking about her. It's just so absolutely mental. And I at that time, I bought into it. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, me and my uncle aren't doing that. Like, no, no, no, no, that's not that's not happening. He's got his own printing business, it's got nothing to do with what we're doing. I bought into it, I was like, so like, no, no, no, no, no, that's that's not what we're doing. Every time she said something, I had to respond because I really thought that that's what she thought. Looking back through my whole life, and every time somebody said something that I was doing, something that I was this, I was not listening to them, I was manipulating them, I was gaslighting them, they were the ones that was doing it to me. Confession by projection, guys. If someone in your life is going around and saying something about you, they are only talking about themselves. I have been researching neuroscience for about eight years now. Eight years. This isn't even like yes, I love spirituality, I'm very spiritual. I would say this is a spiritual podcast. This isn't spiritual, this is scientific. This is a hundred percent scientific. Our subconscious minds, okay. We need to everybody in the world needs to integrate this. Our subconscious minds have no idea that anybody else is living in this world. Our subconscious minds only see us, know us, see how we feel, they have no idea that in this universe there are other people. Get your head around that. Therefore, when you are talking about someone, well, let's go back. Therefore, when someone is talking about you, and this is just amazing. If you are going through something at the moment, like I remember when I was in the breakup stage with my ex-boyfriend, and he was just going around and saying the most horrible things about me, and it was just I knew intuitively, I knew I couldn't piece things together at that time because my head was just all over the place. I could not like get a moment's of calm. Like when your nervous system is so shook, the blood flow to your brain basically shuts off. So it's very, very hard for you to get clarity on things. But I knew intuitively, like all these horrible things that he was saying about me when we broke up, he was talking about himself, he was doing those things, he was feeling those things, he was literally just talking about himself. So if you are going through something at the moment, maybe someone, I don't know, maybe you're an entrepreneur and someone is trolling you and commenting on your posts, they are actually saying things that they are struggling with at that moment in time. So if they are trolling you and if they're saying, Oh, you know, I feel that you are doing this or you are doing that, you are untrustworthy, it's what they're struggling with at the moment. They feel that they are untrustworthy in some area of their life. If you are experiencing a breakup at the moment, a divorce, a separation. Um, it this could be in any area of life, you know. There's separations in friendship, there's separations in business partnership. Like, if you're experiencing something like that, and the other person, the other party is going around and talking behind your back and spreading all like these lies, spreading stuff, talking about you. They are only airing out how they feel about themselves. Our subconscious only knows us. Our subconscious has no idea that there's other people in this world. When I really understood this, I went through something. It was like a little, I can't remember what it was, some kind of like little mini course. And I can't remember whose course it was, but it was really, really amazing. And they were like, Okay, name list all the things that is going on in your life, just like list three of how you feel people are being towards you, and it could be he, it could be she, it could be they, and I remember, I don't remember everything that I wrote down, but I remember writing down they don't listen to me. I remember that specifically, and then the tutor in this mini course was like, Okay, now cross out the first word, cross out they, cross out he, cross out she, cross out the person's name, whatever you wrote, cross that out, and write down me or I. And I was like, What? And I crossed it out, and then I wrote down I and I was like, I don't listen, and then I was like, Oh my god, at that phase in my life, I wasn't I wasn't listening to my intuitive pulls, and I wasn't listening to other people around me that actually had great advice. It's just hilarious, even though our whole lives are is a reflection of us. So the advice that they were giving to me is actually the advice that they needed themselves. I was still an energy match to receive that message. And wow, I remember that just that was the aha moment that I needed. That was the aha moment I needed, and I know that this is gonna click with someone out there too, and it is just gonna help you feel better at night. If someone out there is talking shit to you, just think or think back in your life when other people, if it's still in your head, if you're still like got thoughts about it, and you're still like thinking, oh, that person went around and said this about me. Just think about that phase and that time in their life. Were they struggling with the same thing? They are only talking about themselves. Our subconscious mind has no idea that anybody else in this world exists. When we talk about other people, we talk about ourselves. So we also need to own the responsibility. Yes, we are human. So if we talk about other people, we are only talking about ourselves too, and it takes a lot, it takes a lot of responsibility to be like, okay, wow, where have I been doing this in my life? And let's go back. Actually, where am I struggling with that in my life? Like, where have I said that this person is doing X, Y, and Z? Let's take that, let's integrate it, let's go back. Okay, actually, have I and where have I been struggling with that in my life? I know that this is literally gonna click with someone. If you are listening to this right now, it is the perfect information that you need to hear. And like this information is not out there, guys, because the people that run the world they want us to all be talking about other people, they want us to be like in disputes and in conflict with other people and being like, you did this and you did that. If we understood that our subconscious minds have no idea that other people exist in this universe, and our subconscious minds only speak the language of us, of you, of me, they only know you. If we realized this, the world would be such a better and amazing place. One, we would have clarity and we would just sleep better at night, knowing that everything that anyone has said about us in our whole lives. Let's take school, let's take colleagues, let's take that client over there, let's take that ex, let's take that ex-best friend. Whatever people have been saying about you behind your back, they are only talking about what they are struggling with in their own lives, they are only talking about themselves. And I'm repeating the message because we have been taught something else, so it is going to take repeated messaging to really integrate and embody this concept. Guys, confession by projection. Let's get this out to the world. Please feel free to share this with somebody who might need to hear it at this moment in time. Please feel free to rate and review and subscribe, guys. I love you so much. Thank you for watching, and I will see you all in the next one with another life changing episode.