Stop Punishing Yourself Into Shape: Why Fitness as Self-Care Changes Everything | EP2

Have you ever told yourself, “I have to go to the gym” — and somehow felt worse whether you went or not? Or tried to “burn off” last night’s dinner? Research on 650 frequent exercisers shows that guilt-driven motivation doesn’t just fail… it actively works against you.

In this episode, Sheldon discusses the importance of viewing fitness as self-care rather than a form of punishment. He explores the detrimental effects of guilt-based motivation and emphasizes the need for self-compassion and intrinsic motivation to foster long-term adherence to exercise. The conversation highlights the role of community, enjoyment, and exercise identity in creating a sustainable fitness routine. Sheldon encourages listeners to shift their mindset from 'have to' to 'get to' and to recognize movement as a form of medicine that promotes overall well-being.

In This Episode

• The problem with punitive fitness culture and “no pain, no gain” messaging
• Why guilt and shame reduce motivation and increase stress
• Self-Determination Theory and why intrinsic motivation predicts adherence
• How self-compassion improves barrier confidence, resilience, and recovery
• Why identity (not willpower) predicts long-term movement habits
• Practical reframes: “I get to,” building vs. burning, enjoyment first
• Action steps you can implement today to rebuild your relationship with movement

Key Takeaways

• Fitness should be viewed as self-care, not punishment.
• Guilt-based motivation leads to poor mental health and inconsistency.
• Self-compassion is crucial for overcoming setbacks.
• Intrinsic motivation is key to long-term exercise adherence.
• Community support enhances fitness experiences.
• Enjoyment in exercise predicts adherence and consistency.
• Building an exercise identity fosters a healthier mindset.
• Small wins help build a sustainable fitness routine.
• Reframing 'have to' into 'get to' changes the fitness experience.
• Movement is medicine when approached positively.

Chapters

00:00
Redefining Fitness: From Punishment to Self-Care

02:51
The Impact of Guilt and Pressure on Exercise

05:46
The Power of Self-Compassion and Positivity

08:42
Mindset Matters: Overcoming the Punishment Cycle

11:19
The Illusion of Fitness Culture: Breaking Free from Guilt

14:17
Intrinsic Motivation: The Key to Long-Term Success

16:54
Finding Your Why: The Importance of Purpose in Fitness

20:01
Community and Connection: The Heart of Fitness

22:32
Enjoyment as a Predictor of Adherence

27:17
The Importance of Enjoyment in Exercise

32:26
Understanding Self-Compassion

37:23
Building an Unbreakable Mindset

39:08
The Role of Exercise Identity

45:10
Reframing Your Perspective on Movement

Cited Research & References

• Manchester Metropolitan University (2024). Why you shouldn’t let guilt motivate you to exercise. Study of 650 exercisers examining guilt, self-pressure, anxiety, and adherence patterns.
• Zhang et al. (2025). Self-compass

Transcript

What's going on everyone? This is Sheldon with the MBT movement coming at you hot with another episode here, where today's episode is about stop punishing yourself into shape.Why fitness should be seen as self care, which, which totally changes everything, changes perspective, changes mindset [...0.6s] set, changes the approach to [...0.6s] when and how you work out and what you do.It puts a little more purpose and a little more, umph, into [...0.5s] in every life. It makes, [...0.6s] it makes fitness fun again, or makes working out fun again, makes, makes it what it should be, which is a vestibule that helps us, helps us to maintain our man and manage our body ego aside.It's a way for us to preserve our longevity, durability and lifespan is really what it is. Have you ever said to yourself, I have to go to the gym today and then felt worse about it? When, when you went or not, maybe you told yourself you need to burn off last night's dinner. [...1.0s]But here's the thing that approach might be the exact reason you can't stay consistent. It's the pressure we put upon ourselves to have to perform where it's overall not sustainable.There's a research done where over 650 frequent exercises [...0.5s] found that people who used guilt and self pressure as motivation were more likely to not want to exercise at all, and were at greater risk for poor mental health.Well, I'll be [...0.6s] poor mental health. Because the pressure they put upon themselves to have to perform this mask they put on of this person they have to be, ends up being not who they ended up wanting to be. Anyways, so [...0.7s] there's that.So today we're talking about why the punishment mindset backfires, and how to make the shift to fitness as genuine self care.I'm guilty of this back in the day, day. I would work out to get a workout in, right, I would work out because I would have, you know, it's, it's this aesthetic feature of having a look good look good, look good, feel good, [...0.5s] right, when really, that's, that's really not what it should be.It should be again, like, like I said earlier on today, a vested Bill to help us preserve and maintain our durability, longevity and lifespan. That's what it is end point.Why does this conversation matter? You might ask, well, more than half of the people who start exercising regularly quit within three to six months.We can think about the New Year's resolution types of people where they have this, this this end game this end goal I'm gonna lose X amount of pounds in this amount of time. And either they hit it or they don't, regardless [...0.4s] that's the goal they have an end point is that how life is. Life is just like, oh, I have an end point. I'm gonna live I'm gonna live 75 years and, and then that's it. I'm gonna die.Well, okay, what happens at your, on your 76th birthday and your 77th and your 80th and your 90th?I mean yeah sure you got good genetics and you end up living that long or maybe, maybe you don't, [...0.6s] but either way, the other part of it is mindset. It's what you what you do, right, when, when you put this, sort of bookmark in your mind to say, okay, endpoint here, close, last page done, we're out.What happens after, you know you lose purpose, [...0.4s] you lose your community, because you assumed that it was all gonna be over. But that's not clearly, not the case.So we have to understand, and we have to be able to continue on, to be able to move the marker further, to be accepting an open minded, to grow our perspective, to be able to add branches onto our tree, [...1.1s] right.That's what it is, it's all about it's all about growth and perspective shaping to be that better person the next day is what it is, but bring it back to fitness, right?Guilt based motivation is linked to higher anxiety, depression and stress makes sense overall, [...0.4s] right. Oh, man, I, I have this burden that I placed upon myself in my mind, it's taking up my mind space. [...1.1s]How much more productive could you be with that mind space, at that toxic thinking of thinking you have to be the person you don't. [...1.1s] You're put here for a reason, and that reason is for you to be who you, you're supposed to be, which is who you are, which is what you're doing.So you don't have to have this pressure or this, this thought or this mindset of saying, [...0.4s] oh, I have this expectation to live up to. The expectation is an illusion, and when the sooner you realize that, the sooner you're gonna be able to fill your shoes.True is to who you are. That's what it's about intriguing motivation is a primary factor for long term existence, right.It's looking inside, stop, looking outside, stop looking at the external, stop looking at the aesthetics at, oh my god, this sexy new thing, shiny toy syndrome is what it is. We gotta stop looking out, we gotta look internal. We gotta do the work.And that's the hardest part, right, is doing the self work, doing the deep work on yourself to be able to inspire yourself to grow to be [...0.7s] that better person. Who is that better person?You ask, look inside, you have the answer. We all have the answer, self compassion. We have to be self compassionate to ourselves, and we have to be compassionate towards one another, because compassion helps people overcome barriers and bounce back from setbacks.The more we talk positively to ourselves, the more the more we talk positively to one another, positivity resonates and spreads, but so does negativity.But it's easy to latch off of the negativity [...0.7s] because it's intuitive in nature to sense that feeling of, [...0.8s] uh, I just I don't like that, that doesn't feel good, or even being in an emotion of [...0.5s] angst and anger and rage and upsetness and depression and fear.This is all these are all feelings that we can emanate. These are all feelings that we can we can exude [...0.6s] from ourselves.And it takes the observation [...0.4s] of ourselves upon ourselves [...0.7s] to see that, hey, [...0.4s] this isn't natural, [...0.6s] right? As generic as generic as it sounds, love is the answer because it's the thing that comes most natural.It's the thing that you see these centurions living 100 years and beyond, talking about [...0.7s] what's the for what's one of the main things I've seen all of them say is that stress is a killer.Stress is to include fear, anger, rage, angst, any negative emotions, negative mindset, negative thinking, all of this. We need to just get rid of that.There should be nothing but positivity, because positivity grows upon positivity, [...0.6s] grows upon progress how coincidental both both words start with p, positivity and progress. So let's just let's just leave it with that.You have to work on yourself. You have to do that deep work to be able to grow, to be able to inspire, to be able to do that thing [...0.8s] that is gonna level you up. Because there are levels to this, and it's all about the mindset that you're in.If you're not in the right mindset, how are you gonna level up to, I've done it.I'm guilty of this. I've done it time and time again where I'm in the mindset of wanting to do better, seeing that vision, having that burning desire, having that passion, [...0.6s] but my mind wasn't there my mind wasn't there and that was why I never ended up taking that leap.Part of that part of this is what it is. This, this podcast is literally what this is. It's me being in alignment with my mindset, [...0.7s] with the manifestation of making this thing happen, and then doing the work. You gotta do the work. Ain't nothing gonna happen if you ain't gonna, gonna go do, right? That's what it is.You gotta do it and you gotta not care. You gotta give yourself some Grace, and you just gotta go for it. There's a there's a saying in writing [...0.4s] that goes, the first draft is always shit.It's what it is it is but that's okay. Because it gets better and it gets easier, and it becomes more productive, it becomes more efficient, becomes more streamlined, you optimize the systems. You just gotta take that first step. And it's all about baby steps. That's been my mantra for the past two years.Baby steps. One step in front of the other. Cause over time that those baby steps are gonna turn into a Marathon of a distance in no time. You just gotta put those steps forward in front of one another.Many active people are stuck in a punishment cycle that's their consistency, [...0.6s] that's the piece right there.More than half people who start exercising regularly quit within 3. 6 months. Intrinsic motivation is a primary factor for long term exercise adherents. [...1.1s] And if intrinsic motivation is a primary factor where half of those people don't have it, that's why they quit within 3. 6 months.It's equivalent to say [...0.6s] that many active people are stuck in a punishment cycle that sabotage their consistency.Make sense. They're not consistent [...0.5s] because they have the pressure and the burden of having to perform. They're not consistent because they're in the mind, they're not in the mindset that is in alignment to those goals to be able to perform.And going back to timeline, going back to saying, hey, I've closed the book and I'm done, right?Whether it's life, whether it's a dietary goal, whether it's a [...0.4s] fitness goal, [...0.9s] the goal should always be to move the, [...0.6s] the notch one step higher. That's really what it is. It comes down to just continuing to make that progress everyday, progress. 1% a day doesn't have to be a whole lot. It's really what it is [...0.7s] as long as you can stick to that mantra.Even if it's not one percent, even if it's point o one percent, that is still better than you were yesterday.Now granite. There's been times where [...0.5s] I get in my funk, and maybe you don't hit the 1% that day, [...0.6s] but that's okay, because you wake up another day and you love to fight another day, and you can be better to show up that next day. It's ABS and flows, it's peaks and valleys, it's dark and light, that's what it is.This is started more until I got like a motivational sort of philosophical episode than it is fitness.But we'll, we'll get back to it we'll get back to it you know it always comes back, so the problem with punitive fitness culture, the fitness industry has conditioned us to use guilt, shame and external pressure external pressure maybe using social media, maybe your doom scrolling, right? Maybe, uh, maybe you have a [...0.7s] personal trainer, or maybe you have someone you're working with, maybe you got a buddy, [...0.8s] whatever the case was, no pain, no gain, earn your food, don't be lazy. These are all [...1.3s] mirages, mirages of sayings that don't exist. No pain, no gain.Oh, I'll tell you what, okay, I've worked in injury rehab long enough that I know that pain, [...0.9s] pain means actually no gain. That's what it is. Pain is no gain, because pain is your brain telling you that something is wrong.It's the check engine light coming on, [...0.5s] right. It's this the warning light, it's the cautionary tale that you gotta pay attention to, and if you just keep flipping it off, you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna break down, so we gotta understand.Okay, there's a difference between difference between pain and discomfort. I won't say that, [...0.7s] but when you say no pain, no gain, um, be very absolute be very absolute with this, because that's not that's not the truth at all.No pain, no gain does not exist. Earn your food, [...0.7s] food is fuel, food is medicine, it's not earn your food, [...0.6s] you gotta take care, we gotta nourish ourselves, nourish our bodies, and then and the saying of don't be lazy, that's one, Jeez, that's one that'll go [...0.4s] right. Don't be lazy.Jesus, I don't even know what to make it that don't be lazy don't be lazy why? [...1.3s] You know it's very subjective. Someone could work their ass off, and no one saw a lick of work. And then all of a sudden, he's taking a break, and he say, hey, don't be lazy.Oh, jeez, really? Okay, [...0.5s] I won't even go there. The difference between guilt, which is I did something bad, and shame which is I am bad, and why both backfire. I did something bad, [...0.6s] I am bad. These are these are negative self talks negative frames of self talk that we shouldn't be using against ourselves or against other people's.What it is really [...0.7s] when it comes down to it, [...0.7s] right, because again, we don't we shouldn't be negative here. We should we shouldn't be speaking from a negative frame of mind. We should be helping build each other up.Whether it's building each other up, whether it's building ourselves up, this is all about positivity.Here. The vicious cycle of missing a workout, feeling guilty, building, beating yourself up [...0.6s] and associating exercise with negative emotions. This is very similar to [...0.6s] psychological eating disorders, you know bulimia, [...0.4s] anorexia. There's a deep psychology to these types of conditions. And I'm not gonna undermine them or underplay them.And I'm not trying to speak like a professional to these conditions, but there's definitely a psychological component. And I speak from this from working in collegiate athletics.You know I've had student athletes that were, were having these conditions and a lot of it was just a body dysmorphia. They have to look a certain way because they have teammates that look a certain way. They have this image of what their what their their, their idol looks like in that sport. Whatever the case is, this image in their mind.But I always go back to the saying, old Teddy Roosevelt, comparison is a thief of joy. We should never compare, the only thing we should be comparing is ourselves against ourselves, cause [...0.4s] that's really at the end of the day, that, that's who we're in war with.We're in war with ourselves. And it's how we can win the battle, how we win the battle, is with positivity, is with productivity, is with continuing to take that 1% forward each day, is what it comes down to.So I've seen this pattern over and over in my practice, where someone comes in motivated, works hard for a few weeks, misses a session, beats themselves up, [...0.6s] and then the whole thing falls apart. They're back in pain or they've lost their progress. And it's not a discipline problem, really.It's, it's a mindset problem. And the research backs us up. We can look at it and say, hey, psychologically if we don't have the focus to be consistent with our habits, and be persistent and diligent with the work that we need to be doing. It's all about a routine, and it's all about just adhering the routine. That's why it's called a routine.It's just a normal thing, the beat of the drum, the daily mantra, whatever you wanna call it. It's the thing that gets us up in the morning that helps us move, so we, we have to have the discipline, [...1.0s] and we have to have the focus, and of course, there has to be the desire and the passion to do so. But the vision never ends, kind of going on a side tension here.This is why I'm so against, like, diets, because when, when I think about diet typically, it's someone saying that again, they wanna lose X amount of pounds in a certain amount of time, or they want to do X goal, and then that's it.But we gotta think about the longer term vision of this. And that's why I like to say [...0.7s] fitness, health, and well being, nutrition, all of these things are on the on the life continuum, right? These are all vestibules that help us perver preserve durability, longevity and lifespan.That's what it comes down to and this is overall resiliency is what this is, right? The word resiliency is one of those trending words and now the other words that I've mentioned are also starting to come in trends.You know I, I just like to think that we should be thinking about this in terms of one movement. How are we moving? What is the quality of the movement that we're doing and how much of it are we doing?We don't have to be doing that much straight, straight up, [...0.8s] you know if you're working to working out two hours seven days a week seven days a week you're probably overdoing it. I'll be straight up with you, but it comes down to lifestyle factors as well, right?Does your life like, are you working on a farm where you're doing manual labor all day and you just enjoy working out? I mean that's, that's a long day. But if you enjoy it, you know you've probably created some adaptations to get there.But there's those people that feel that they have to be in a certain way, working out a certain amount of time, doing certain things, eating a certain foods. When at the end of the day, it's what works best for you. That's intuitively what you have to come to an understanding of. That is the intrinsic motivator right there.It is a [...0.7s] natural intuitive innate [...0.8s] wisdom that we have within ourselves that we almost follow. So the whole idea of self determination theory is the difference between autonomous motivation, internal motivation, [...0.4s] and controlled motivation, external motivation.This is a self determination theory where external motivations, these are things like rewards, punishments, avoiding guilt [...0.5s] can get you started.Oh yeah, I wanna get that shiny new thing, or, oh gosh, I don't I don't want I don't want that to happen to me, or, oh, I better do this or else. I've been there time and time again. I will say that it doesn't last long.It definitely doesn't last long, but you can get you started for sure. Intrinsic motivation.What, what I found experentially, I found that when I do have a have a moment of extrinsic motivation that I end up indulging into or whatever the case might be, it always comes back to me going back to my intuitive senses, which is the intrinsic motivator. I'm doing a thing for a certain amount of time.I'll speak to this of just recently. I was working at W2 job, didn't really enjoy it, but I had to do it to provide for my family. Eventually I got to a point where I had to just I had to leave it.Thankfully, I was at a point where I was able to do that, [...0.4s] but I had to leave it. It wasn't truly what gave me passion. It didn't give me time to do any of the stuff that I'm doing now. It was soul sucking and draining.Jesus Lord, I hated that job, [...0.6s] but I had to do it, you know and it's, it's kind of like, you know you reflect back on it, you're like, oh, would you take it back? No, I wouldn't take it back because I wouldn't be the person I was today, had I not gone through that experience. Such is life.So all this to say is that I always come back to intrinsic motivation. It's always a thing that brings me back full circle. I'll veer away from the path, but I always end up coming back to it, guaranteed. That's why I'm here now, because this is my passion, this is what I truly desire to do.This is what I've talked about for over a decade. Took me a decade to get started on this. I can't believe that. But I'm sure there's people out there that have never committed to their passion or their desires or their intrinsic motivators because [...1.4s] of whatever reason. It's not it's not a I'm not like speaking to banish them. And I'm not saying, oh, they're terrible people.We all just we all have our innate personalities, personas, characteristics, mindsets, belief system, values.So [...0.8s] it's okay if, if maybe you listening right now, you're in this point where [...0.5s] you're listening and you're saying, oh, I've had these things that I wanted to do, but I never took action on them because, you know maybe have a little bit more of a conservative approach. That's totally fine. That's okay.The biggest thing here is to never lose your dreams, though. Never forget your dreams because that is the thing that inspires, that creates inspiration, [...1.0s] that leaves, leaves hope and light at the end of the tunnel.That is a thing that is the why that is the purpose, this is something that comes to me.Why I have to [...0.5s] create resistance while I want to create sustainability [...0.5s] even more so than I want to, I get to because I get to is more or less a statement of gratitude. Like, oh my gosh, I am so glad [...0.5s] that I get to [...0.6s] record this episode [...0.9s] and release it to the world.I am so I'm so grateful [...0.8s] that I get to wake up tomorrow [...0.9s] and live another day and have this life. Right, it's all about practicing gratitude. Because gratitude brings you to that higher vibrational level, right, not trying to get woo, woo, out there anything, but that's what it is. [...1.0s]Quantum vibrations, the quantum heightening of being able to appreciate [...0.5s] what you have, whatever that might be.Right, it's all about starting with gratitude. Syntristic motivation is a primary factor influencing long term adherence to exercise, bringing it back to exercise. Individuals with greater intrinsic motivation exhibit more successful behaviors and higher levels of psychological well being.This is more or less just getting into alignment. Intrinsic motivation is something that's not gonna change. More than likely, I would say for me, it's not ever changed. I've definitely, like I've said, I veered off the path, but I've always came back to it. The intrinsic motivation is your, why it's your purpose of being here.It's the thing that you must pay attention to, because that's that thing's never gonna leave you.And the more [...0.5s] you steer away from it is the more you giving into the influences, is the more you giving into the extrinsic motivators, and is the more of you getting out of alignment with your highest being. That's not what it's about, right?You need to pay attention to your intuition, to what your inner voice is saying, [...0.5s] and just emanate that and exude that, because that's why you're here, and that's why people will continue to be [...1.0s] by your side, because you're genuine to who you are [...0.9s] now more than ever, that's all we look for, is this genuineity, authenticity, a real one.That's all people look for, especially in this day and age of AI, of technology, of just always being on screens, the society we live in. We're looking for connection now more than ever. We're looking for humanity, connection, community, [...0.7s] an authenticity is what we're looking for.So this is my voice here, this is my voice of me being genuine and authentic. I'm just creating this podcast this episode because I am truly passionate about movement.I'm truly passionate about helping people. I've helped people time and time again get out of pain, gain mobility, find strategies [...0.5s] around managing body [...0.5s] type of things, right? Whether it's body work, whether it's injury rehabilitation, whether it's pain management, whether it's understanding exercise, whatever the case might be, that is my jam.So I know this episode hasn't been, you know that the topic here [...0.4s] is on point, but we're kind of getting into the woods here.So I wanna bring it back, I'm bringing back to exercise [...0.7s] and the next case in point I'll make here is adherents was associated with motives focused on enjoyment, competency, [...0.4s] and social interaction, not fitness or appearance.Right. So the reason why, and that's, I would say that's why [...0.5s] group fitness is such a popular thing. Like I, I seen what's that thing from back in the day, [...0.8s] not that, not bar, it was even older than that.Jazzercise, that's still around Jazzercise is still around I've seen a few of them around still here. I don't know, maybe I'm just living in Old Town. It's still around. And the reason why it's still around is because it has the community aspect, right?Whether it's Crossfit, whether it's group fitness, whether it's hit, whether it's bootcamp, whatever the case might be, any sort of group environment that you can have a communal type of suffering. And that's why these events are so huge.Like I was just talking with a client [...0.5s] and they had mentioned this thing called Hirox. I had no idea what it was, look it up.Total, all total awesomeness but it's just this big indoor fitness competition, um, where people work out together. And that's what it is, right? It's about people enjoying company with one another for fitness. No, it would appear that fitness is the main, uh, prerogative or the main agenda there.But at the end of the day, you look at the things that all of these things have in common. It's community, [...0.6s] right? It's a, it's a humanity and it's ability to, to be with one another to share these experiences.Is what it comes down to post workout ratings of enjoyment predicted adherents. So the more you enjoyed working out, whether it's a group workout or whatever the case might be, the more you enjoy it, [...0.4s] the more out here you're gonna be, the more likely you're gonna be to show up [...0.5s] the next day to hit that next workout or whatever the case might be.Short term, midterm and long term [...0.5s] overall enjoyment [...0.4s] is a high indicator of that, of the continuity of training. External factors like weight loss motivate people to begin again. That's an intrinsic motivator.I like to use this approach here. Ask why three times. I wanna lose weight. Why do you wanna lose weight? Because I wanna look better. Why do you wanna look better that's two, because I wanna look good for my significant other.Why do you wanna look good for your significant other that's the third time, because I'm afraid that they're gonna leave me if I don't look good. And I wanna really spend my life with this person because I love them. Okay, root cause here we are.That is the intrinsic, [...0.6s] intrinsic motivation, is the key to continuing ask why three times [...0.6s] amazing strategy. You're not literally be like, why, why, why you can, now you can have your own twist to it, right, but that's really what it comes down to expand the conversation.Is this, because in this day and age, it's so easy to just get by with surface level conversation, and it's been like that for way too long, like, oh, hey, how's it going?Good, I'll go see you later, alright, even if you said no, like, [...0.6s] hey, how's it going? I'm not doing too well. It just like, okay, well, I wish you I wish you a better day.See ya. You know, you just like running away. That's pretty shitty. You don't wanna do that. You wanna ask why three times, like, have the genuine connection, have some humanity, so this is what we have to think about.If you're only exercising to avoid feeling guilty or to look a certain way, the research says you're setting yourself up for dropout. You're gonna drop off. The people who stick with it long term are the ones who actually enjoy it or see it as a part of who they are.It's their identity and quite honestly, us as humans as a species were meant to move from the hundred gather days to even in this day and age where we have technology, we still need to move.The research is out there, and we can see what happens when we don't metabolic syndrome hot take here. But a lot of people if we just increase the fitness overall fitness, [...0.5s] 30 minutes three times a week isn't a lot, really, like, how hard is that?30 minutes three times a week can be a starting point for most people. And that is life changing. It doesn't have to be extranuous. You don't have to do like [...0.8s] 20 burpees and 10 rope climbs and then go on the [...0.7s] air bike for an hour.You don't do any hardcore like that. It can just be zoned to just breathe a little hard, get moving around in different ways. And quite often it's either you're sitting or you're walking forward, or you're turning and you're continuing to walk forward.You're reaching up a little, you're bending over a little bit, but there's just not quite, not enough conditioning going on that include range of motion, controlled range of motion which would essentially be mobility, [...0.6s] right?Which is why people get stiff, people get pain, people get out of funk because the body gets out of whack.It gets out of alignment. We have muscles that are pulling a certain way when they shouldn't. We have, uh, we develop compensations because the bodies [...0.6s] like, wow, we're just not getting enough load.Our back isn't able to handle this. So we're gonna, we're gonna turn on the upper traps and we're gonna have these guys contribute.We're gonna have we're gonna lock up the hips and lock, we're gonna seize the hips up with the back so that this person doesn't move around as much because they just don't move around that much.That's really what it is. It's the nervous systems integration of [...0.5s] our experience as humans. And it's conditioning [...0.6s] our uh it's conditioning the way we live our lives. You don't have to be [...0.6s] an outcome to, of your circumstances.The self compassion advantage, what compassion actually is, is kindness to yourself when things don't go as planned.Recognizing struggling is part of being human [...0.5s] and it should be mindfulness without judgment, really. We have to be self compassionate towards ourselves and towards one another. We have to be non judgmental. We just have to be totally, I mean, not totally, because it would be robotic.I would to be say totally objective, but we don't wanna be totally objective. We wanna be empathetic, we wanna be compassionate, we wanna be able to understand one another, [...1.4s] and we wanna be able to, to share our experience.Cause at the end of the day, I, I see this is just one collective experience at the end of the day, that's what it is. We're all in this experience together, having our own version of what it is.But at the end of the day, the collective experience is just that is all of this is one [...1.2s] pretty trippy to think about self compassion improves the barrier to self efficacy, [...0.7s] believing you can overcome obstacles.That is a mind shift right there, [...0.5s] right. The more self compassionate you are to yourself, [...0.5s] the more forgiving of yourself, the more you try to understand yourself, the more you're kind to yourself, the more you're, you're talking positive to yourself, the more you set yourself into a higher vibration, right? It's just about being better.It's just about being loving, kind and loving and nurturing to yourselves, to one another [...0.7s] best believe. If you're in that frame of mine, you're gonna be unstoppable, and you're gonna be able to overcome those obstacles.Self compassion [...0.8s] predicted intrinsic motivation and reengagement in exercise after setbacks. Can you believe that [...0.5s] with a positivity can change anything you can overcome?I just said it, you can overcome any obstacle with self compassion. And if you're self compassionate, and you've stopped exercising, and it's something you wanna get back to.The reason why you wanna get back to it is because it's your intrinsic motivator, you know, deep down inside that you were meant to move, and that you truly enjoyed exercising, you truly enjoyed working out, truly enjoyed getting whatever form of movement it is for you. I'll call exercise. I'll grant it, grant it grant it.That's what it is, right, so you just gotta be compassionate towards yourselves, give yourself some Grace, [...0.6s] right.And life happens in absent flows and experiences, maybe the band with his maxed out at the moment. You're like, man, I really wanna get back to it, but I just don't I just don't know where I have the time.It's okay, [...0.6s] your time will come, [...0.7s] right, but just continue the path, continue to do what you're able to do, right. You're able to control your nutrition.Hopefully, you're able to have 5, 10 minutes in the morning, in the evening, do some breath work, do some meditation, do the little things, cause that can be something that just gets you by. And then the opportunity will come back around [...0.8s] right now.Get a little woo here, the universe always provides, right, but the opportunity will come back around for you to reengage that passion, that desire, that intrinsic, that internal work, that self deep work.That's what it comes down to, [...0.6s] right. So be compassionate and just understand that it's absent flows and it always comes back around.Self compassion weakens the effect of stress on shame, right? So the more loving the more kind loving and nurturing you are to yourself, the less likely you're gonna be stressed out, the less likely [...0.8s] you're gonna shame yourself. You're gonna feel guilt, [...0.9s] you're gonna be the negative mindset. That's what it is.There's so many benefits, especially pronounced for more vigorous physical activity where setbacks are common.Think about, like, competitive athletics, [...0.7s] elite level athletics elite level athletes I've worked around this time and time again, [...0.5s] track and field, Olympic weightlifting, collegiate athletics, everything in between.These athletes are unstoppable for this reason because they have such a high level of one self awareness, [...0.8s] intrinsic motivation. They know their reason they're there, they have their purpose, and that is their purpose, and there's nothing that you can say or do to bring them down for real. That's what it is.They're unstoppable. And it's because one, they have to perform at the high level, but the reason they perform at the high level is because all of the little things, all of the little steps they've taken to get there, positive mindset, positive framing, self compassion, [...0.5s] loving, nurturing, [...0.5s] these are like these are the seedlings [...0.7s] to foster a bountiful garden in any aspect. It doesn't have to be competitive athletics. It can be anything you do in life.This has carry over to, this connects directly to my work with people coming back from injury for real. Like if you beat yourself up every time you have a bad day or can't do what you used to do, you're adding a mental barrier on top of the physical.The people who recover well are the ones who can be patient with themselves. They don't try to overtrain, they don't overstimulate themselves, they make sure they're getting enough sleep and nutrition.They check all the little boxes [...0.7s] especially I will say again, just, kind of, referring back to a high level competitive athletics where there's collegiate, whether it was even in a tactical setting where I worked [...0.8s] when someone went down and out, [...1.0s] and, you know, let's just say maybe they tore their ACL. I've actually seen this experience.There was a star football player running back [...0.4s] or is ACL super positive, super motivated, just went to get after I saw him in the training room every day, [...0.5s] working, doing his rehab, putting the work in what happened.He went pro [...1.0s] after he towards ACL. He went pro. That's freaking crazy, but it's all about that the unstoppable, unbreakable mind, right, setting yourself in that frame of mind to be better each day.You show up no matter the circumstance, you make the best of it, [...0.5s] right. You give it a shit sandwich, eat it, [...0.5s] eat it with a big smile on your face is what it is, and you show up the next day and eat another one, right, [...0.4s] I mean, it's it's not like a it's not trying to put lipstick on a pig at all, right?This is about [...0.8s] creating an un, unbreakable mind, unbreakable spirit, because that is a higher level vibration that you have to be on. And when you're on that higher level, the inevitable is gonna, gonna happen. The inevitable is going to happen. You are gonna get your time, [...1.0s] your time will come.So exercise identity is seeing exercise as part of who you are. It's innately within it's ingrained within your DNA.Of course, [...0.8s] I don't know if there's any G's to test that, but that's what it comes down to. It's in the mindset, it's in the frame of mind of understanding that's who you are. These are my values, and these are my non negotiables. [...1.2s]It's not just something you do. The shift comes from, I'm trying to exercise more [...1.5s] to, [...0.5s] I'm someone who moves. I meant to move. I meant to do more. [...1.1s] Why identity beats willpower for long term behavior change? Because identity is something that is just deeply ingrained within who you are. It's in your DNA. Like I just said, it's in your DNA. It's innately your identity.Willpower is something that can be shook, even someone who has a strong willpower. Okay, but willpower can be curved, [...0.7s] right? Will power can be shook. Will, will power can be tested, [...0.5s] whereas identity is something that's just non negotiable.It's something that, you know, like I have my driver's license in my wallet all the time every time it's not gonna go anywhere else, that my wallet's identity is my driver's license, for example, right?No matter what happens, it's gonna be in there [...0.8s] unless I take it out, but even if I took it out, it's gonna be back in there. This is probably a crude example, but this one, the first one that came to my mind.So this is the idea here, how to build exercise identity. We wanna start with small wins. We wanna start, we wanna go with feeling competent. And even if competency means that we have to learn something, we have to be open minded to receive the information because that's how you build competence, that's how you build a learn, that's how you learn, right?And once you learn that skill, [...0.6s] right, it's a matter of becoming consistent and diligent and practicing it, putting the reps in. It's just like it's just like when I'm working with clients, whether it's exercise or whether it's rehab, the first thing we have to build is one, the awareness, right.So for something as simple as posture, like, oh my god, I'm always rounded for I always have such a poor posture.Okay, well, here's what I want you to think about. Think about squeezing imaginary pen between your shoulders. Think about elonating your spine. And maybe if I'm working with them in person, I'll give them tactile cues and feedback. Maybe I'll use like kinesio tape.I like Kinesio tape for bile feedback more than anything, right, it gives him awareness of like, okay, the tape is pulling my skin. Okay, that means I'm out of position now let me reposition myself. This is the idea here [...0.5s] more than anything. That's, that's the application for Conesio tape.Besides that, lymphatics is another great one. So it helps with swelling and swelling and inflammation, I'll say. But postural feedback can use your tapes awesome for that, right? So you use it for that, you say, okay, we're just building a habit.I just want you to become aware of your posture. The more aware you become of your posture, the more likely you're gonna be to correct it, right?You're gonna slap yourself on the back of the neck probably in a couple hours of working on the desk, cause you're gonna catch yourself, but kudos to you, because now you've caught yourself, whereas you were working in this career for how long, and you've never done this, and this is why, you know, you have a bad posture because you're calling yourself out, but you don't know how to correct it.The first step to anything is just awareness, [...0.7s] right? Those are the small wins, caught it, oh, okay, I caught it actually right.Once you catch it, [...0.5s] that's a small win. Now you become consistent with those small wins. Now it becomes a little more of an ingrained habit. Now you're competent and you're consistent.So this is why I always say consistency over intensity. You build an identity as someone who moves by showing up regularly, not by crushing yourself once a week.All wins compound into who you are and who you see yourself as is the key here, small wins, baby steps [...0.7s] this, and see Trump's intensity [...0.6s] 1,000% of the time.Reason being is you can have a hard workout, you can have a hard week, you can have a hard month, [...0.8s] right? But eventually the inevitable happens [...0.4s] where it's just like, ah, maybe I'll just take a day off, right?Maybe you're just someone who does hard workout and you're very consistent, well then [...0.9s] that's your identity. You're a hard worker, more than likely is what it is, what you value, right?Your love language is providing maybe is what it is, [...1.3s] but we can [...0.4s] break this down, we can piece it apart, but more often times than not, [...0.7s] intensity is something that's built up over time that was built on the foundation of consistency, consistent habits you did, you didn't get to that work capacity overnight unless you're genetically gifted, which you're an outlier, [...0.7s] right? It's the consistent habit that creates the intensity. We got a few points here to reframe the mind.Reframe, reframe point number one, I get to, just like I said earlier, I get to versus I have to matters. Focus on what you gain, not what you're avoiding. Build capacity versus burning off food. Find what you actually enjoy because the research, the research shows enjoyment predicts adherence, long term adherence consistency and build rest into the plan. It's self care, it's recovery, it's not laziness, right?Resiliency is about balance, right? We can't just be burning ourselves down into the ground day in and day out because at the end of the day, we burn out and then we stop and then we take a fat break or we hold resentment towards something that maybe we weren't able to achieve or something that wasn't sustainable. The reason why it wasn't sustainable is because you need to balance it out.Life is about balance is what it is. You have to rest in all facets what you do. That's why we sleep, literally. We sleep because we need recovery, we need the rest and in every physical endeavor, whether it's work, whether it's a pursuit of a goal, whatever the case might be, [...1.0s] recovery and rest are baked into plan automatically.They need to be [...1.0s] so questions you should ask yourself, what types of movements do I actually enjoy?Reframing your training perspective, what do I what do I truly enjoy? [...1.3s] I just thought about this, I had a conversation with, with, there was a contractor that came over. They were, they're doing some work in our house, and there was a younger gentleman that came by, and he saw my garage, and he's like, oh wow, you, you got a garage and that's pretty cool.Oh, man, I just, I could never see myself working out at home. You know, the the thing that I thought about later, and I do this quite often is I'll have conversations and I'll process, and then I'll reflect on that conversation to approach it a different way, and like, oh man, I should ask that happen this time again.I was like, [...0.8s] I was thinking, [...0.9s] what would you have said if I asked him what his purpose was to work out?I said, [...0.5s] I mean, I said it in a different way. I said, well, you're younger, you have, you know, a quicker bounce back, um, you have a lot more vitality where as you get older, you know, parts were out, you gotta be more mindful.Um, it's more about the longevity game, but if I had asked them what is purpose was to work out, [...0.4s] I think I asked him something like that. He said, well, I don't know. That's why I'm working here because I just want a job that keeps me physically active.I'm like, okay, good so you're moving around, but the key piece here is, you know, the identity, the exercise identity okay you like, how do you identify how do you identify your your daily movement is through physical manual labor?Okay, that's one way to do it, but day in and day out, if you're doing this seven days a week, it's pretty hard in the body. Where is the balance? Where is the rest? And are you doing anything to balance out the work that you're doing?Quite often in like work type of situations, you know, I've worked in the manufacturing and ergonomic sector for a little while. Um, it's, it's all repeated movements.You're doing a job for eight, 10, 12 hours a day and you're doing one specific job removing one specific way [...0.6s] and it's very rigorous in labor intensive and hard on the body, right? I've seen injuries time and time again.And that was the other part of what I did in the ergonomic sector was I did, you know, more or less first aid, OSHA ergonomics, injury rehabilitation and muscular skeletal evaluation more or less.A fancy way to say, hey, okay, you got hurt on the job. Come into my office, let me evaluate, you see what's going on.Okay, you got a little shoulder strain. Here's what I would recommend for you and then you're on your way, right? But to another extent is that we gotta understand whether it's a job related stressor, whether you, even if you're working on a desk, right? You gotta think about, okay, how long are you sitting, sitting at the desk for? Are you sitting all the time, or do you have a standing option? Are you able to take breaks?I like to say take micro breaks, and I use one, two mantra every one to two hours.You're taking one to two minutes of meaningful movement, [...0.7s] right? Could be something as easy as 10 back bends, looking off into the distance, especially if you're on a screen. Look off into the distance, look for the mountains, try to scope a couple birds.That's a big one there, [...0.8s] especially if you're on the screen all day. Always on the nearsighted, you gotta challenge the farsightedness, get some daylight if you have it.Besides that, you know, thinking about those repeated motions and doing the opposite of whatever that is, is gonna create more balance and symmetry into your day, into your life.Talking about questions, right? Another question here, what do I feel like I'm the most capable and confident in doing? Reason why this is a great question is because that creates adherents. And it comes back to the self efficacy part and the competency part.The more confident and capable you feel of doing the thing, the more likely you are to do it because you don't have to be so like shy away or scared away from it or saying like, oh, this is Mount Everest, I don't even know, I haven't even taken the first step yet. Go for it. [...1.1s]What do you like moving with? What makes you feel, [...0.4s] what makes it feel like it's less of a chore, [...0.5s] right? Does going to gym feel like a chore to you?Like, oh god, I got here, another day I gotta go work out. Find something that keeps you moving. Join a pickleball club, whatever, whatever the activity is, find something that keeps you moving.Because again, when you, when I've seen conversations of these centurions that live over 100 years old, part of it is purpose, part of it is community, the other part of it is movement and exercise. What are you doing?These, you know, these guys are [...0.4s] hundred years old plus running marathons, doing their thing and they're totally able bodied. It's amazing. But the key to that, the key to this, [...0.5s] and the key, I mean, even if you look in Blue Zones, that's the other thing.They found that in every blue zone they've real, they found similarities, overlapping similarities. The three things they include [...0.5s] being physically active, 2. Community, 3. Purpose. Those are the things that you have to, have to live a long life. That's the answer.So it's pretty interesting. So in closing, the takeaways are [...0.5s] one, movement is medicine, we know it. Movement is medicine, but only if you're not using it as punishment. And the research is clear, guilt doesn't create consistency, enjoyment does, [...0.5s] self compassion does. Seeing yourself as someone who moves does.So if you've been stuck in the cycle of grinding, falling off, beating yourself up, and starting over, this is your permission to try a different approach. Be forgiving to yourself, be kind, give yourself some Grace. Your body responds a lot better [...0.4s] when you treat it like an ally instead of an enemy.So thanks for tuning in. I appreciate you joining [...0.5s] listening to this podcast. If you like it, subscribe to the channel.I'll have the research that I've talked about here [...0.6s] within the show. Note, so if you're intrigued to see the research I've pulled up and I've mentioned here, find it there. Besides that, thanks again for joining, and I'll see you in the next one.