HSOS #12: Wine Not? The Midlife Reality of Alcohol

You know how that one glass of wine that used to relax you now keeps you up at 2 a.m. wondering why your heart’s racing? Yeah, that’s not your imagination. In this episode, Kim gets real about why alcohol hits harder after 40, what the newest research actually says about “healthy drinking,” and how booze messes with your metabolism, hormones, and sleep. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod, and you’ll walk away with simple ways to drink less, feel better, and still enjoy your life—no guilt required.

💬 Let’s talk.

Welcome to Her Season of Strength—where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices, without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy—registered dietitian, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman when it comes to aging like you mean it.

This show isn’t about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles. It’s about building real strength—physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I’ll share straight-talking nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies, and conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin once again.

Menopause is not an ending—it’s only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

🗒️ What I Cover

• Why alcohol just isn’t as “fun” as it used to be (and why that’s not your fault)
• How our livers, hormones, and metabolism process alcohol differently after 40
• What new research says about “no safe level” of alcohol for women
• The sneaky ways alcohol sabotages fat loss, sleep, and muscle recovery
• The “hangover halo”: how one night can derail your week
• Practical swaps, boundary ideas, and mocktail inspo for social sanity
• The weekly challenge: skip one night, gain clarity, calm, and confidence

Links & resources for this episode:

Fit After 50 Plus Program: 8-Week Nutrition Coaching & Fitness Program for women 50+. Next session starts winter of 2026. Join the interest list today for the best bonuses and discounts offered.

Free cheat sheet: "20 Tips to Crushing Menopause"

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi there, and welcome to her season of Strength, where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices, without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy, registered dietician, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman. When it comes to aging like you mean it, this show isn't about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles.

[00:00:20] It's about building real strength, physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I'll share straight talking, nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies. And conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin. Once again, menopause isn't an ending. It's only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

[00:00:39] Welcome, welcome. Thank you for being here today and listening in to today's podcast. I'm gonna just go ahead and dive right in. And I wanna start by one saying one statement. You know what? Drinking alcohol just isn't as much fun as it used to be. I you don't get that [00:01:00] same buzz as you did when you had a cocktail in high school or college, and you definitely feel worse the next day after you have been drinking.

[00:01:14] Am I right? I don't know about you, but from the women I've talked to and I know from personal experience, it's just. I've found that it's just not worth it anymore. That glass or two of wine that used to help you unwind after a long day or a long week, and now it leaves you wide awake with your heart beating outta your chest, leaves you feeling dehydrated, feeling puffy the next morning and wondering.

[00:01:42] What on earth happened to your tolerance? And here's the thing, it's not just you. Our bodies actually do process alcohol differently. As we get older, our hormones change, our muscle mass dropped, our metabolism slows. And that magical liver that used to handle margarita night like a champ, she's tired. [00:02:00] And suddenly that drink that once felt little self care feels more like self-sabotage.

[00:02:08] But don't worry. This episode, it's not about guilt or giving up happy hour forever. It's about understanding what's actually happening inside of our bodies, why the research around alcohol has changed and how we can still enjoy life without feeling like a bloated sleep deprived zombie the next day. So pour yourself something delicious.

[00:02:28] Maybe a sparkling water with lime, maybe your favorite mocktail, and let's chat about how to drink smarter, feel stronger, and wake up actually feeling like ourselves again. Because honestly, I'm not here to tell you never to drink again. I'm here to help you stop feeling like a hangover is just part of being over 40.

[00:02:47] So first I wanna start with just a little reality check. For years we have heard that a glass of red wine a day could be good for our hearts, for our, due to the antioxidants, the [00:03:00] resveratrol, the Mediterranean lifestyle, all the things, and hey, that sounded great, right? Finally some research that justified girls night.

[00:03:10] But here's where it gets interesting. Newer studies are starting to call that old advice into question, and when you dig into the data, it's not that wine that was ever some magical health elixir. It's that the people who drank moderately, often had healthier lifestyles in general. They ate better, they moved more and had access to good healthcare.

[00:03:31] It wasn't the wine doing the work, it was the lifestyle around it. So the who or the World Health Organization now says that there's actually no safe level of alcohol for Health Zero. And not to freak you out, but because we now have clearer research linking alcohol, even small amounts to things like breast cancer, high blood pressure and sleep disruption, but before you panic and you dump out your Pinot, remember, this isn't about [00:04:00] perfection.

[00:04:00] It's about awareness. Because once you understand how alcohol really affects your body, especially in midlife, you can make choices that still let you enjoy your social life and protect your energy, your hormones, and your health. So let's dive into act, what has actually changed around alcohol and why even a little bit of alcohol can hit us harder than it used to.

[00:04:22] All right, so let's rewind just a bit. Forget decades, we were told that moderate drinking, especially red wine, and I believe the recommendation was maybe one glass per day for women, or no more than seven per week, and two for men. So no more than 14 for a week for men. We were told that it was not only harmless, but might even be good for us.

[00:04:44] You've probably heard that idea a million times. Antioxidants, heart health, the French paradox, how people in France supposedly eat all that cheese and drink all that wine, yet they have low rates of heart disease. But here is the thing, most of those studies were observational, [00:05:00] meaning they didn't prove that wine caused better health.

[00:05:03] They just noticed that moderate drinkers often had healthier lifestyles in gen general. They tended to exercise more, they ate more produce, have better access to healthcare. It was a lifestyle effect, not a magic merlott effect. Fast forward to the last few years, and the research is telling us a different story.

[00:05:23] The World Health Organization came out in 2 20 23 and said, flat out, there is no safe amount of alcohol that does not affect health. That's because alcohol has now been classified as a group one carcinogen, right? Alongside things like tobacco and asbestos. Yikes. But before you grab your wine rack and you start crying, let's keep this in perspective.

[00:05:43] This doesn't mean one cocktail at a wedding is going to cause cancer. It means that over time, even low to moderate drinking increases our risk for certain diseases, especially for us women. And one of the biggest concerns is breast cancer. According to the [00:06:00] American Cancer Society, just one drink a day can raise a woman's breast cancer risk by about seven to 10%.

[00:06:05] Two to three drinks a day bumps that up to around 20% or higher. And because women in midlife are already going through those major hormonal changes, that extra estrogen exposure from alcohol can become even more impactful. Now, alcohol, we know also raises risks for other cancers, mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, colon, all because of a compound, a, excuse me, a compound called acetyl aldehyde.

[00:06:32] Which is toxic to our cells and could damage our DNA. And then there's heart health. Remember that red wine is good for your heart claim. While newer studies show that's not really true either, when researchers corrected for other lifestyle factors like exercise or diet and smoking, the protective effect of moderate drinking dis.

[00:06:53] In fact, higher intake is now linked to increased blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, and higher triglycerides. [00:07:00] So basically that once famous J curve, meaning where light drinkers seem to live longer than non-drinkers or heavy drinkers, right? So there was that middle of the road, it looked like protection.

[00:07:13] That turns out to be that data mirage. When you remove those confounding variables, the curve flattens out. The truth is drinking less or not at all, is better for your long-term health. And this becomes even more true as we age. And here's why. 'cause our bodies are changing. You hear me say this all the time, we're losing that muscle mass.

[00:07:32] Our metabolism can slow down and our water content drops. So since alcohol distributes through water in the body. Less water means higher blood alcohol concentration. So even if you drink that same amount that you did 10 years ago, your BAC or blood alcohol content is going to be higher. Then we add in things like perimenopause or post menopause, and we've got fluctuating hormones, we've got sleep disruptions, and [00:08:00] we've also got a liver that's already working overtime, processing everything from medications to environmental toxins.

[00:08:06] So yeah, that one glass of wine can now hit like three. And here's the kick. That 2023 study found that women over 40 are more likely to experience negative effects from even small amounts of alcohol, including that sleep disruption, including increased fatigue the next day. And then we can also see mood swings, which I'm sorry, but we don't need any more of those.

[00:08:29] We got enough of those going on right now. That's just because our nervous system is less resilient to those chemical swings. So if you've ever wondered why your hangovers feel more brutal now, or why you're relaxing glass of wine suddenly leaves you feeling anxious and foggy. It's not your imagination.

[00:08:48] It's literally biochemistry. It's your body. But again, and I'm going to keep saying this is not about guilt. This is about information. Because once you understand how your body processes [00:09:00] alcohol differently at this stage in life, you can make choices that actually still let you enjoy life without feeling like you've been hit by a truck the next morning.

[00:09:10] So now that we know alcohol isn't exactly doing us any long-term favors, let's get into what it's doing day to day and why it can totally throw off your health and body composition goals, especially after 40, and that's fat metabolism. When you drink, your body sees alcohol as a toxin and your liver.

[00:09:28] She drops everything to deal with it. While she's busy processing that cocktail, she basically says, hold my beer. I'll deal with fat later. So alcohol takes metabolic priority. That means your body temporary stops burning fat until the alcohol is cleared. Researchers have found that fat oxidation, which is your body's ability to burn stored fat, can drop by as much as 70% for several hours after drinking.

[00:09:57] That doesn't mean one glass ruins your progress, but if you're [00:10:00] regularly sipping wine at night, it adds up. Less fat burned more fat stored. And here's where it gets a little sneakier. Alcohol itself has seven calories per gram. It's almost as calorie dense as fat, but it has zero nutrients. Sorry guys. You add in those mixers, you add wine pours that are more restaurant glass, extra large than a standard serving and a couple of snacks alongside, and it's easy to tack on an extra 400 to 600 calories without even realizing it.

[00:10:34] And then there's the appetite effect. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and it can increase your appetite, especially for those salty, fatty and high calorie chips and snacks. There's actually a physiological reason behind that. Alcohol ramps up rein, which is your hunger hormone while dialing down leptin, which is what tells your body that you're full.

[00:10:57] Have you ever noticed how a night of [00:11:00] drinking makes you want pizza or french fries or something carby afterwards, or how you wake up a ravenous the next morning? That's not willpower, that's hormones. In one study, women who consumed alcohol before a meal ate an average of 30% more food than those who didn't drink.

[00:11:17] And let's be honest, how often do we drink water or reach for veggies after a glass of wine? But beyond calories. Let's talk about sleep. Because this one hits hard in midlife, alcohol can make you feel sleepy. It helps you fall asleep faster, but it wrecks the quality of your rest. It actually suppresses that REM sleep, which is that deeper sleep, and that's that stage when our brain actually restores itself and processes our memories and balances our mood.

[00:11:48] So you might actually get hours in bed, but you're gonna wake up feeling wired, restless, or like you've been up all night long. And if you're already dealing with hormonal sleep issues, hello, [00:12:00] 2:00 AM wake up and night sweats. Alcohol is gonna make them worse. Research from the National Sleep Foundation shows that even one to two drinks can reduce our sleep quality by up to 40%.

[00:12:10] In midlife women, that means less recovery from your workouts, more fatigue and more cravings the next day. And speaking of workouts, alcohol and muscle recovery are not friends. Studies have shown that alcohol blunts our muscle protein synthesis or making new muscle making increasing strength. The process that, it helps us to build and maintain that lean muscle.

[00:12:34] So for women trying to gain strength or preserve muscle in perimenopause or menopause, that's a big deal. Your body's already fighting to hold onto lean tissue. As our estrogen drops, we add in alcohol and you're making that uphill climb even steeper. Plus alcohol can increase inflammation in our body, and it also can increase risk of dehydration, both of which can leave us feeling stiff, sore, more tired and [00:13:00] unmotivated to move the next day.

[00:13:02] So picture this, you skip your workout because you're tired naked. You crave carbs because you slept terribly, and you overeat because your hunger hormones are outta whack. That's the hangover halo, and it can last two or three days if you're not careful. And listen, I get it. Sometimes we drink because we're trying to relax.

[00:13:19] Life is stressful. You've had a long week. The house is noisy. The to-do list is never ending. That glass of wine feels like a moment of peace. But the trade-off is that alcohol messes with the very things we're trying to get more of that calm, that energy, that patience, that resilience. Here's what I tell my clients.

[00:13:39] It's not that you can never have a drink again, but if you're constantly feeling drained, bloated, or like your metabolism has checked out, cutting back might be one of the most impactful and honestly freeing changes you can make. Because when you reduce alcohol, you don't just sleep better and eat better, you show up better.

[00:13:58] Your workouts feel stronger, [00:14:00] your energy returns, your skin glows. Again, it's not deprivation, it's alignment. So we've covered the science, we've covered the metabolism and the hangover truth bombs, but let's talk about what to actually do about it, because I'm not about to tell you to never have another glass of wine again.

[00:14:18] That's not real life. What I am here to tell you is that you can absolutely drink less. Feel better and still enjoy all those social connections and relaxation you want without that foggy brain, the bloating or the regret. So here's a few ways to start. Set your why before your next drink. I know that sounds really cheesy, but it's really powerful.

[00:14:41] Instead of going into autopilot, it's Friday, I deserve this. Pause and ask yourself, do I actually want this right now or is this just a habit? Is it just because it's Friday at, five or six o'clock, or I'm going to happy hour, or just sitting down and relaxing. Sometimes it's [00:15:00] not even about the alcohol itself.

[00:15:01] It's about wanting to unwind to mark the end of your day to feel connected. When you figure out that feeling you're chasing, you can find better ways to get there. Next, let's change the ritual, not the reward. You can still have that ah moment at the end of your day. Just make it something else. I love a fancy mocktail in a wine glass, something sparkling with citrus or bitters or even kombucha.

[00:15:28] With frozen berries, you still get that ritual. You get the taste and that moment minus the 3:00 AM heart racing. Or try a wind down walk after dinner, a stretch session, or just music and low lights while you cook. The key is to replace the cue, not just remove the drink. Next, set boundaries that feel doable.

[00:15:50] Instead of saying, I'm not drinking for a month, try something smaller. Maybe you say no alcohol Sunday through Thursday. Especially if you're someone that [00:16:00] you know, you're, you find yourself grabbing that glass of wine every single night during the week. Maybe you say I can have one glass when I'm out, but then I'm gonna switch to sparkling water.

[00:16:13] Or maybe you say I'm only gonna have one drink at social events, but not at home. So maybe you only have alcohol when you're out and about. The smaller and the clearer the boundary, the easier it's gonna be to keep and you're still gonna get results. So try to avoid saying, I am just never drinking again.

[00:16:32] Okay? We know we're never gonna, we're probably never gonna follow through with that, right? But set specifics for yourself and see, set yourself a goal, set yourself maybe some boundaries. Next, let's focus on connection, not the cocktail, because let's be real. You don't need a drink to laugh with your girlfriends or have a good time.

[00:16:53] You remember more the night your energy's better and your Monday mornings don't feel like you got run over by a party bus. [00:17:00] And if you're worried about feeling awkward saying no, just try this. Hold a drink that looks like a drink. Sparkling water with lime or a mocktail in a fancy glass, most people will not even ask.

[00:17:12] And if they do, just say, I'm sleeping too good without it. It works every time. Next track how you feel, not what you drink. Keep a quick note on your phone or your journal nights you drink, versus nights you don't notice your sleep, your mood, your energy. The next morning and after two weeks, you're probably gonna see a pattern that makes the choice easier.

[00:17:36] I personally have found cutting out alcohol totally during the weeks and maybe limiting to maybe one or two drinks on the weekends. I can't even tell you how much better I feel the next day. And overall, I feel like my clarity, my brain power is better. I have less of those, I cannot remember the word or I don't [00:18:00] know what I'm doing in this room, what I was looking for.

[00:18:03] I feel like my, my brain is just working better. And, I, I don't find that I miss it at all during the week, just because I'm creating different habits, and that's what we're after. We're after, not perfection, but awareness. Next, I want you to give yourself permission to change your mind.

[00:18:23] If you go out, have a drink, and realize halfway through that it's not worth it, you can stop. You do not have to finish it just because you poured it. You don't have to justify choosing differently than you used to. Because you know what? You're evolving. Your body's changing, your priorities are shifting, and that's something to be proud of, not punished for.

[00:18:44] So whether you decide to go alcohol free drink occasionally, or just become more intentional, remember, this isn't about rules. It's about respecting your body enough to listen to what it's telling you. You deserve to wake up rested, to feel [00:19:00] clearheaded and strong, and you deserve to feel calm without needing a drink to get there.

[00:19:06] And if you're sitting there thinking, okay, Kim, but I love my wine nights, then guess what? You get to keep 'em. Just be intentional about them. Make them special instead of automatic. You're gonna find that when you drink less, you enjoy it more. So if you're feeling ready to take a little pressure off your liver, your sleep, your waistline, this week's challenge is simple.

[00:19:27] Choose one night to skip the drink. Swap it for something else that feels good, something that truly helps you relax. Then notice how your body responds, because this isn't about giving something up, it's about getting something back. Your clarity, your calm, your energy, and that my friend, is a trade I will take every single time.

[00:19:51] Alright, that's it for today. If you found this helpful, share this episode with a friend, or better yet, start a mocktail night together. And don't forget to leave a [00:20:00] rating or a quick review. It really helps more women to find our conversations and realize they're not alone in navigating these midlife changes.

[00:20:09] So remember, this is about progress over perfection. We're in this for the long haul, and this is your season of strength. Have a fantastic day.