HSOS #18: Holding Grief, Finding Strength: Caring for Your Body in a Heavy Season

Kim talks honestly about why the holidays can feel emotionally and physically heavy for women over 40, especially when grief, stress, and expectations collide. She shares how strength training, high-protein eating, and medication support her mental health after the loss of her 12-year-old daughter, and walks through simple strategies to prevent the “holiday hangover” that leads to starting over every January. The episode also covers practical protein goals, holiday overeating stats, and how her Stronger Not Softer Holiday Plan can help women feel steady, supported, and strong through the season.

Let’s talk.

Welcome to Her Season of Strength—where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices, without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy—registered dietitian, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman when it comes to aging like you mean it.

This show isn’t about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles. It’s about building real strength—physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I’ll share straight-talking nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies, and conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin once again.

Menopause is not an ending, it is only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

Episode guide / What I cover

• Why the holidays feel emotionally complicated, not just “sparkles and Hallmark movies”
• Losing my 12-year-old daughter Cecelia to leukemia and how her December 22nd birthday impacts this season
• How exercise and strength training, alongside anxiety medication, act as my mental health therapy during the holidays
• Holiday overeating stats, average calorie intake at a single holiday meal, and typical 1–5 pound weight gain
• How emotional stress, family dynamics, and cortisol drive cravings for carbs, sugar, and comfort food
• Why protein is essential during holiday chaos, including reducing cravings by up to 60% and boosting metabolism through the thermic effect of food
• The difference between starting your day with high-protein foods versus sugary, carb-heavy breakfasts and how that impacts cravings all day
• How most women actually under eat during the day, then overeat at night, and what that does to cortisol, metabolism, hunger hormones, and mood
• Simple strategies to stay consistent: starting every meal with protein, aiming for 25–30g at breakfast, eating every 3–4 hours, lifting 2–3 times per week, hydrating before events, and having go-to meals
• A girlfriend-to-girlfriend invitation into the Stronger Not Softer Holiday Plan, including what’s inside, why it exists, and how the 60% off Black Friday deal through December 1st can help you go into the new year stronger instead of starting over

Links & resources for this episode:

Fit After 50 Plus Program: 8-Week Nutrition Coaching & Fitness Program for women 50+. Next session starts winter of 2026. Join the interest list today for the best bonuses and discounts offered.

Free cheat sheet: "20 Tips to Crushing Menopause"

Join my free weekly newsletter list and get a new high protein recipe sent to your inbox every Thursday.

Find me on social media: Instagram I Facebook I Tiktok

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi there, and welcome to her season of Strength, where women over 40 reclaim their bodies, their energy, and their voices, without apologies. I'm Kim Duffy, registered dietician, personal trainer, mom, and your biggest hype woman. When it comes to aging like you mean it, this show isn't about chasing skinny or counting wrinkles.

[00:00:20] It's about building real strength, physical, emotional, and hormonal. Each week, I'll share straight talking, nutrition tips, sustainable fitness strategies. And conversations that help you feel powerful in your skin. Once again, menopause isn't an ending. It's only the beginning. This is your season of strength.

[00:00:39] Hey, friend, and welcome back to her season of strength. Thanks for taking just a couple minutes to spend with me today to talk about specific things that are important to women over 40. So if you're tuning in as this episode drops, we're gonna be heading straight into that season where joy, pressure, [00:01:00] expectations, nostalgia.

[00:01:01] And chaos basically form a conga line in your living room. Yes. When this drops, it is going to be Thanksgiving day. Okay. And if you're a woman, woo. You don't just feel the holidays, you carry them. There are gifts to buy, there's meals to plan, there's memories to recreate. There's people to care for and somehow we're expected to hold it all together just with a smile and perfectly timed cookie platter.

[00:01:31] Today I wanna talk about something just a little deeper. I wanna talk about why this season feels emotionally and physically heavy. And how strength training and high protein eating can actually become your grounding rope and help to keep you on track. During this time, I really wanna help you to enjoy the holidays and take care of your future self so you don't spend January 1st Googling detox, or how am I gonna reset this, or how am I gonna start over?

[00:01:58] And yes, at the end, I also wanna [00:02:00] share a resource that can help you to stay steady and strong through this holiday season. So first of all, I just wanna say. The holidays are complicated. They're not just all happiness and sparkles and Hallmark movies. So for many women, they bring up missing pieces.

[00:02:16] People. We've lost traditions that feel different now, and even parts of our lives that might have shifted, and I don't speak about this lightly, but after losing my 12-year-old daughter, Cecelia to Leukemia 13 years ago. And with her birthday coming up here on December 22nd, the holidays have never been the same for me.

[00:02:36] There's a missing piece from my heart. It's never gonna come back. And when the season arrives, I feel the weight of that loss just a little bit more intently. And if I find that if I'm not caring for myself, if I'm not moving my body, if I'm not actually eating well and staying grounded, the emotional side of the holidays can really.

[00:02:57] Take me somewhere [00:03:00] dark very quickly and I've told you before, but exercise is a large part of my mental health therapy, right alongside medication. I'm not gonna try to tell you I do not take medication because I do, I take medication for anxiety. They, these two things, they don't erase the hard parts, but they study me.

[00:03:19] They keep me from spiraling. They anchor me in something that actually gives back to me, and I just want to reach out to those women. Who, where the holidays feel heavy for you. If you're missing someone or you're feeling that pressure to be the glue or you're exhausted from holding everything up, I want you to know you're not alone.

[00:03:38] The holidays are beautiful and wonderful and we spend so much time with family and friends, but they can also be brutal, and that's why taking care of yourself is emotional protection. It's not vanity and it's not selfish. It is important for you to maintain your strength through this holiday season.[00:04:00] 

[00:04:01] So I wanna ground this in a few holiday facts. Okay. First of all, overeating is practically built into the holiday season. The average American consumes 3000 to 4,500 calories at a single holiday meal. That's more than many women in midlife need in two entire days. Now, I am not saying you are wrong for enjoying food because food is celebration, food is love, but it's also true that your biology, it doesn't hit pause.

[00:04:37] It's not like you get a little, you get a little break during the season of just eat as much as you want and it won't matter or we won't. Put on any extra weight and it won't affect how we feel. But it doesn't, your biology does not hit pause just because it's December next holiday stat is the average person gain between one to five pounds during the [00:05:00] holiday season.

[00:05:01] Not a big deal, right? Doesn't sound like a lot. But most of that weight, it's not muscle. We're not putting on, oh hey, I've strength trained and I'm building muscle during the season. It's not muscle we're putting on extra, weight is gonna be fat and research shows that we rarely take this off, this extra weight off afterwards.

[00:05:20] So if you think about one to five pounds every single year for 20 years. That can add up. That can add up. So over 70% of annual weight gain actually happens between mid-November and early January. So no, you're not imagining it. The holidays are literally a metabolic minefield. My third holiday stat is emotional stress increases appetite.

[00:05:48] So when you're shopping, you're cooking, you're hosting all the family dynamics, and I don't know about you, but I have sometimes some family drama that can come in around the holidays. But all of these things are gonna [00:06:00] raise that fight or flight hormone, that cortisol hormone and cortisol can make your body crave that fast energy.

[00:06:08] Like carbs, sugar, and that comfort food. So it's not a matter of lack of willpower, it's not your fault. It's biology and it's doing exactly what biology does under pressure. So now I wanna talk about some ways that we can decrease some of these negatives during that holiday chaos. You don't need some kind of 12 step plan.

[00:06:34] You don't need a diet. To fix this. The first one, and you hear me talk about this all the time, the first one is protein. You need protein. Okay? But let me specifically talk about how it's gonna help you. I wanna talk about it in research terms. High protein foods are gonna reduce cravings by up to 60%. 60%.

[00:06:56] That's a lot. That means your desire to raid the dessert table, [00:07:00] your desire to, snack all night long or nibble while you're cooking meals. Protein is gonna help to calm it up, calm it down. It's gonna help to turn off that craving and those triggers. I'm not saying it's gonna be gone, I'm not saying you're never gonna wanna eat dessert just because you eat some protein, but what I'm saying is it's gonna help to calm things down.

[00:07:20] Next protein boosts your metabolism by 15 to 30%. Did you know that? It's called the thermic effect of food Protein literally requires more energy or more calories to digest. Now, I'm not saying that when you're eating protein, you're actually burning more calories. Calories digesting it than what the actual food.

[00:07:41] Has in it, right? What I'm seeing is when you compare protein to carbohydrates, to fat protein actually takes more calories than those other two macronutrients to digest it. Okay, so when you eat protein, that's why you're gonna feel more full. You're gonna feel more satisfied. [00:08:00] You're gonna B burn a few more calories digesting it compared to fat and carbs, and you're gonna help to steady that blood sugar.

[00:08:06] And this is another topic I talk about all the time because we know blood sugar regulation and control is so important when it comes to supporting our hormones. Okay. It's when we get off that rollercoaster of blood sugar highs and lows, and we steady it out, it's gonna mean longer term energy for us.

[00:08:25] It's gonna mean decreased cravings, it's gonna help us to feel full and satisfied for longer. And that's why, if you're, I tell women all the time, if you're gonna focus on one thing this season to help you stay in control, let it be protein. Try to hit 25 to 30 grams protein per meal.

[00:08:42] It's a huge piece when you eat enough protein earlier in the day. So always be protein forward. Okay? Start your day out with a good protein source because when we start our day out with those typical breakfast foods, which are gonna be, they're carbs I'm sorry, but like cold [00:09:00] cereals oatmeal without, doctoring it up a little bit.

[00:09:03] French toast, pancakes, donuts, pastries, all they are is sugar and carbs. And sugar perpetuates sugar. It's addictive. And I'm saying this personally, I know this personally. Sugar is addictive when we start our day out with sugar. The rest of the day is gonna go downhill. We're gonna just want more sugar.

[00:09:25] And I think a lot of times, especially when we, we go to the, hit the coffee shop and we get like a sweet treat, like a donut or a pastry or something like that. I don't know about you guys, but it opens me up to go, oh I had this for breakfast, so screw the whole day.

[00:09:39] Might as well get fast food for lunch. Might as well, grab pizza for dinner because it's I already, let things go for breakfast, so why not just, whatever for the rest of the day. But I also think that it triggers that craving in your brain.

[00:09:53] And it also causes the blood sugar spike and drop, and it's gonna make you just perpetuate that, oh, now I need another, pick me [00:10:00] up. Now I need a little something that's gonna help to give me a little bit of boost of energy, right? So if you can start your breakfast, start your day with a nice high protein food, you will find that is gonna help to regulate your day.

[00:10:13] It's gonna help to regulate your appetite for the day. You're not gonna end up starving and overeating at lunchtime or in the evening. You don't end up. Overeating, when you're going to those parties or those holiday gatherings or whatever the, the cookie sharing events or whatever, don't starve yourself before, try to eat something.

[00:10:33] Try to get in some good protein. You will find that you have a little bit more control over some of those things. Not that you can't enjoy 'em, not that you can't have a cookie or a treat, but you're gonna find that maybe rather than eating 10, you eat one or two. And you're not gonna end up craving that sugar 24 7.

[00:10:51] So that's why, when I pack my meal plans full of protein throughout the day. It's called balance, trying to get [00:11:00] 25, 30 grams of protein per meal, trying to get those nice high protein foods in your snacks as well. It's just gonna protect those later choices later in the day. Now I wanna talk about something almost no one talks about, and that's most women under eat during the holidays because we're running around, we're skipping meals, we're grazing, we're eating bites of things instead of meals. And then we almost binge, we overeat and it. Usually occurs in the evenings because we're starving.

[00:11:32] We've been doing something all day long. And in midlife, undereating hits harder when you don't eat enough. We're gonna see those cortisol levels increase. We're gonna see that, take a hit on our metabolism. Our hunger hormones are gonna get louder so that we just can't ignore 'em. It's gonna affect our mood because when our blood sugar is low, we're gonna get in, irritable, we're going to get hangry.

[00:11:58] We're not gonna feel that kind of [00:12:00] even steady keel and our body is going to. Pull in those calories, it's gonna feel like it's not, being fed enough and it is gonna pull in those extra calories, it's gonna hold 'em a little tighter. It's gonna become a little more efficient, and you're just not gonna burn as many calories as what you normally when you're fueling your body well.

[00:12:21] So this isn't about weight, it's about mental and emotional stability. Protein and strength training are the antidote. All right. I know you hear me talk about that all the time, but they're just so important. So take a pause with me for one second. Take a slow breath, and I want you to think back to the past two to three holiday seasons.

[00:12:42] Where do you usually lose consistency? Is it, your workouts? Maybe exercise takes a back burner when you're busy and running around. Do you not get in as much water as you should be taking? Do you skip breakfast? Do you just grab those quick and easy and maybe you don't get in enough protein, [00:13:00] maybe you're getting a little less sleep because you know you're getting up early 'cause you have so much going on, maybe you're not really thinking about what you're putting into your mouth.

[00:13:09] 'cause it's more just about, oh, I just need something quick and easy so I can move on to my next thing. Maybe we're not being as mindful. When we're eating, maybe it's just overcommitting to everyone but yourself. So all a year, self care gets put on that back burner and you're running around taking care of what everybody else needs, getting everybody the presents, you're the the one who is planning everything, planning the meals, planning the, the holiday parties, but I just wanna ask you, how do you want to feel on January 2nd? Do you wanna feel strong? Do you wanna feel energized? Do you wanna feel proud or in control? Or do you wanna feel like, you need to start over again? Feeling defeated oh my gosh, the holidays just hit me like a M truck, and I need a start over.

[00:13:58] I need a. A [00:14:00] fresh start, at the beginning of the year. 'cause we don't need to start over. We need to find ways to stay supported in that during that holiday season so that we don't have to take those steps backwards. So I wanna lay down some strategies that are simple and actually doable.

[00:14:18] One, I already talked about starting every meal with protein two, trying to get at least 25 to 30 grams of protein in at breakfast time. Eating every three to four hours, so don't go for, six to eight hours without eating anything because you are just setting yourself up to overeat at that next meal.

[00:14:35] You're gonna be starving. I want you to strength train. I want you to exercise at least two to three times per week doing the heavy lifting, right? Because we know that is what is so important when it comes to our hormones, when it comes to building metabolism, to, building up that muscle so that we're actually burning more calories in.

[00:14:56] But it also helps to improve our mood by, [00:15:00] increasing those endorphins, increasing, stabilizing those stress hormones. It's just a huge piece. I can't tell you, like when I'm sitting and I'm working for, at the computer for hours at a time, I can get so irritable, especially when I'm working like on tech stuff that I'm just don't come naturally to me and I get frustrating and what is my therapy?

[00:15:20] I'm like, I gotta go grab a workout and there is nothing better to suddenly, like I feel like my brain is more motivated, it feels more productive. I can think. Clearer. There's just nothing better. And even if you're just like, I gotta stop for 15 minutes. It doesn't have to be like a six year or a 90 minute workout.

[00:15:40] It can just, you can even grab a really good workout in, even in 15 minute, 15 minutes if that's the only time you have. Making sure that before you're going to those parties especially when most of those parties, they don't include only food, but it's usually including drinks, like alcoholic [00:16:00] beverages which just can make things a little bit more challenging.

[00:16:04] It can reduce our inhibitions. It can add it to just extra calorie intake. And there are so many fun drinks at parties now, and usually they're fairly high in calories. So if you go into those parties, hydrating yourself okay having some good water so that you're not going in dehydrated, because that can actually mimic hunger to a degree.

[00:16:26] Okay. It can make you a little more hungry, a little more likely to be snacking on all the delicious appetizers. And then have go-to meals because during this time when you're doing so much decision, fatigue is real. Okay. Think of things like protein bowls or shakes or prepped lunches. Doing some of that meal prep, that nice high protein meal prep, and it doesn't have to be perfect.

[00:16:50] So now I just wanna talk about what you are gonna do. What is an easy plan to keep you strong through this holiday season? Right now through December 1st, you can grab [00:17:00] my Black Friday deal. It's called the Stronger Not Softer Holiday plan. I created this not to give you more to do. Not to fix you and not to get you ready for New Year's resolutions.

[00:17:10] I created it because we deserve better support during the hardest season of the year. You all told me what you needed. You wanted some high protein, simple meals. You wanted some easy macro balanced recipes. You wanted 30 to 40 minute strength workouts that you could do anywhere, anytime you wanted a structure that keeps you consistent but not overwhelmed during the holiday season.

[00:17:33] And you wanted a way to feel good during the holidays and not after. And that's exactly what this plan gives you. You already know what you know, falling off the rails feels like. So you've lived the holiday hangover. And you want to stop that December to January regret loop. You deserve a season where you don't lose yourself, where you enjoy your life and you take care of your future self.

[00:17:57] The plan's available right now, and because it's Black Friday [00:18:00] season, you can grab it for 60% off the regular price. So if you're tired of starting over every January, this is your ticket to staying your course, maybe even going into 2026, stronger than you were in 2025. Wouldn't that be nice? You can enjoy the holidays, you can still take care of your future self.

[00:18:18] You don't have to start from zero in January and you can feel strong and steady and supported through the entire season. I'm gonna drop the link to the stronger, not softer holiday plan in the show notes. The 60% off discount is only good through December 1st, so grab it for it's gone. Thank you so much for being here with me today, and thank you for taking care of yourself.

[00:18:38] Remember it's progress over perfection. We're in this for the long haul, and this is your season of strength. Have a fantastic day.