Bubble Baths Won’t Fix Burnout

Burnout won’t heal from a checklist and a succulent, and you don’t need another poster telling you to hydrate. We open the filing cabinet of teacher stress and name what’s really happening to your nervous system when the inbox gaslights you, the workload spikes, and the “wellness committee” offers pie instead of change. Comfort has a place, but real relief comes from root work—tools that regulate your body in the moment and habits that hold when the bell rings.

We break down why workouts can feel amazing yet fail to touch the panic spiral once you’re back at your desk, and we spotlight the difference between passive meditation and active regulation. If sitting still only ramps up your thoughts, you’re not broken; you need a bridge. Learn practical active meditation approaches—tapping, guided movement, mindful walking with a mantra—that meet your physiology where it is, calm the system, and make quiet possible later. We also bust the 21-day habit myth with science-backed timelines, then map out how tiny, repeatable rituals compound into resilience over weeks, not wishful thinking.

Most of all, we reframe self-care: keep the bubble bath if it helps, but pair it with strategies that name dysfunction without internalizing it. Build a desk-ready regulation kit, swap performative goals for process goals, and stop waiting for a checklist to declare you “well.” Your sensitivity is data, not a defect. Listen, reflect, and then tell us the wellness checkbox that makes you roll your eyes the hardest—we’re collecting them. If this conversation hit you in the soul or the sarcasm gland, follow the show, share it with your teacher bestie, and leave a quick review so more educators find real help, not glitter and guilt.

Thanks for listening!

Connect with me on instagram: @theburnedoutb

I'd love for you to message me what you thought, what it made you think about, your reflections, and of course I want to know what's been coming up for you in the classroom! I will never name names...unless you ask me to!

Chapters

• 0:00 Tempo: 120.0

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

Welcome to the Burned Out Bee, dear teachers, the podcast for educators who are two seconds away from flipping a desk but still somehow remember to take attendance. Or maybe you didn't. I'm Nicole, the Burned Out Bee, who's a former classroom teacher, curriculum builder, interrupter of bullshit, and professional wearer of the I'm fine mask. Around here, we say the quiet parts out loud. We call out the systems that run on guilt, glitter, and unpaid labor. And we absolutely do not accept toxic positivity as a wellness plan. Grab your lukewarm coffee, lock your classroom door, and take a breath. You're home. Like, thanks, Brenda. But if hydration could fix systemic exploitation, we would all be healed saints by now. I'm Nicole, and today we're tackling the wellness checklist. You know the one. Cute little boxes, the little succulent plant picture in the corner. It's full of bubble baths and platitudes, and it's passed off like it's gonna save you from burnout. Well, here's the deal. Self-care activities like baths, walks, and even workouts aren't bad. And I would argue that we should all be doing those things. Anybody who knows me knows I'm a workout junkie. And I came to a point where I really wondered why that wasn't fixing my anxiety. Like, isn't that the first thing that we're supposed to do? Is like find a place to put our energy and burn it off so that we can be clear. So what do you do when that doesn't work? That's what a client asked me just a week ago. What do I do when that doesn't work? And like me, she lifts heavy, she does intense cardio, she is in excellent shape. So why can't she stop the panic spiral? Well, these activities can feel good in the moment. The bubble bath, the workout, the walk, the candles. And especially in the case of the walk and the workout, they can flood your system with oxygen and give your brain a break and something else to think about. But when you come back, you're still walking into the same chaos, the same trauma, the same inbox full of gaslighting emails, and you are the same person with the same past experience that triggers you. Because exercise, bubble baths, taking a walk, they don't fix the root problem. That your nervous system is fried from being under constant assault. But hey, at least if enough of us fill out our completed wellness checklist, then we're gonna get pie in a staff lounge, courtesy of the wellness committee, right? One of my favorite check boxes on the list is meditate. Okay, just meditate. As if sitting quietly with your thoughts was secure all. That you didn't run the dishwasher yet, that you need to turn over the laundry, that you know, you have a student in the fourth period that hasn't turned in their inquiry packet yet. And what are you gonna do about them? Because they can't fail. We're not allowed to fail. This is where we need to talk about active versus passive meditation. And when we think of meditation, we do think about that passive, you know, sitting there, sit still, breathe, be quiet, approach that works for some people, but the minority of people, like seriously, it is like such a minority. But for those of us who experience crisis mode, who have anxiety, panic disorders, depression, ADHD, ADD, you can't just jump straight into Zen. And we end up feeling more frustrated than anything about like, well, why I'm not, I must not be doing it right. And then we get down on ourselves for the fact that we're not doing it right. I bring you active meditation, and active meditation can look like so many things. It's one of the things that I teach all of my clients for nervous system regulation. It can look like tapping, guided movement, even mindful walking with mantra. And it is the bridge that calms your body enough to make quiet possible for you later. It's not that you can't meditate, it's that no one taught you how to arrive there first, and y'all, here's where their research absolutely drops the mic. That whole idea that it takes 21 days to form a habit, total myth. Now, I prescribe to a 40-day habit forming, and this is still maybe even not quite enough. It's enough to get us into a daily routine, but science says that it takes 66 days on average to actually form a habit, and some people it takes longer, up to 250 days. You have got to be in it for the long haul for yourself. So I'm asking you to double down for yourself, double down on your love for yourself. So when your district hands you a wellness Wednesday checklist that says drink more water and walk it off, what they're really giving you is a placebo because checking a box once doesn't do anything, checking it a few times doesn't work either. Real healing takes time, it takes repetition, and it takes root level change. So if bubble baths, cardio, and box checking aren't enough, well, what is it's not about abandoning self-care, and I would love to even just reformat what self-care even is. Very surface level, we can say that self-care is putting on an eye mask, taking a bubble bath, lighting a candle, making ourselves feel good in the moment. But if you want to really care for yourself, it's about pairing it with root work. And this means naming the actual dysfunction instead of internalizing it. It means using active regulation tools to meet your nervous system where it's at. And it means giving yourself permission to stop waiting for external validation. And yes, I mean even those box checkings of external validation, that's still external validation. Oh, if I check all these boxes, then they say I'm good. And to start trusting your own signals because here's the truth you're not too sensitive, you're not bad at managing stress. You're a human being in a system that treats you like a machine. So this week, I really want you to notice which wellness checkbox do you reach for the most? Does it actually shift anything long term? Or does it just get you through the moment? And what would it look like to give your nervous system what it actually needs instead of what the form prescribes? Have you even given yourself the moment to wonder what would actually feel nourishing to me? Because burnout won't heal from bubble baths alone, and you deserve more than symptom stalling. DM me your favorite or your least favorite wellness checklist item. The one that makes you roll your eyes so hard that you see your brain at the back. I really want to hear it. And make sure that you're subscribed so that you don't miss any episodes. We are next week deconstructing yet another teacher's beginning of the year classroom experience. You'll find me at the burned out B. That's at the burned out, the letter B on Instagram. I can't wait to hear from you. Till the next time, bees. Whoo! If this episode dragged any skeletons out of your filing cabinet, just know. Thanks for listening to the burned out bee, dear teachers. If it hit you in the soul or in the sarcasm gland, send it to your teacher bestie. You know the one. Follow the show, smash that subscribe button like it's a broken coffee machine. And come hang out on Instagram at the burned out bee, where the real talk continues. And remember, you weren't meant to be a martyr with a lanyard. You were meant to rise. See you next time, B.