Babysitting In The Eighties

Jane, Heidi, and Etty trade raw, funny, and unsettling babysitting stories—celebrity trivia, 80s nostalgia, grooming red flags, an axe in a basement—while tracing how babysitting moved from teen rite of passage to vetted adult work. We end with clear lines on safety, values, and what kids miss when teens stop sitting.

• how 80s babysitting shaped teen autonomy and risk
• why teen babysitting declined and the rise of adult sitters
• boundary setting, consent, and spotting grooming
• hotel gigs, wedding childcare, and strange house rules
• parenting values vs sitters’ beliefs and language
• safety planning, alarms, exits, and emergency thinking
• screens vs play and what teens learn by caring for kids
• the sweet perks: snacks, cable, and Solid Gold memories

Email us at info@thewomenareplotting.com, and find us on all the socials. Be safe and be excellent to each other.

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open: Here's Johnny!!
• 0:47 Welcome and Fun Fact About Anthony Kiedis & Cher
• 2:32 Where Have Teen Babysitters Gone
• 4:36 How Babysitting Became A Teen Job
• 6:20 Etty Was a Co-Nanny At Fourteen
• 8:46 Jane Babysat For Strangers Through An Agency
• 12:11 Etty Babysat For a Couple With an Attractive Husband
• 13:28 The Whack Job Family And Grooming
• 19:25 Tying Up Trouble: Managing Chaos
• 21:42 Heidi Locked in a Trunk While Being Babysat
• 22:42 The Creepy Boy Babysitter
• 30:22 Power, Consent, And Trust
• 31:40 Why Jane Waited Until Her Daughter Could Talk Before Having Her Babysat
• 32:15 Barbies, Beliefs, And Parenting Lines
• 35:26 Snacks, HBO, And Secret R-Rated Perks
• 37:01 Closing And How To Reach Us

Transcript

[00:00:00] Jane: So I opened the door and the light, I could see down the stairs and then there's a light dimly coming from the left, which was where my stepfather's workshop was. So he had tools and stuff down there. And then Greg, I see the shadow of him before I see him. Like, like he's walking really slowly from that workroom area, like horror movie style, and he's making references to The Shining, but I didn't know what that was yet 'cause I hadn't seen it. But he was just saying like, you know, Johnny, something like that. And he has the ax over his head and he is wearing my stepfather's army jacket that he found. And so he finally comes into view, but I see in the shadow, like he's got some, I was like, what the fuck is happening? And then he's just there at the bottom of the stairs and then he starts charging up the stairs with an ax over his head. I'm like, oh, no. So I locked, I, I closed the basement door and lock it. 

[00:00:47] Etienne: Welcome listeners. This is The Women Are Plotting. I'm Etienne Rose Olivier and I'm here with my friends and co-hosts, Heidi Willis and Jane Gari. On today's episode, we're gonna be talking about babysitting stories. And my fun or interesting fact for today comes from Anthony Kiedis, the lead singer and front man of Red Hot Chili Peppers, and in his book Scar Tissue, he talks about how when he was 13 years old, Cher was his babysitter. And I don't know if you girls have heard this before. No, you haven't. I can from your faces.

[00:01:27] Heidi: What. 

[00:01:28] Etienne: is great. So she had to already be famous. I mean, Anthony Kiedis is my age, and I don't remember there a time before Cher. So what happened was he was 13 and he said he was already in bed. In her bed, I think, and Cher got up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed. I watched her take off her clothes. He said there was a woman's naked body. I remember thinking, this is not bad, lying next to this beautiful lady. Uhhuh, that's the quote from his book. Um, so, uh, I'm not gonna say anything more about that, but that was definitely inappropriate for sure. I dunno if anything more inappropriate happened after that

[00:02:06] Heidi: What

[00:02:08] Etienne: That is

[00:02:08] Heidi: Has she confirmed this, 'cause obviously if it's in a book, it's out there.

[00:02:13] Etienne: Yeah, my ex-boyfriend actually told me about this 'cause he'd read Scar Tissue and he told me that story. So I went looking for it and I found it in a People magazine article online.

[00:02:23] Jane: That is

[00:02:24] Heidi: That is a wild.

[00:02:28] Etienne: Oh. So Jane, I think you're gonna share your fun or interesting

[00:02:32] Jane: Well, mine's not fun. Mine's not that fun. Like, geez. That was, uh, that was pretty fun. No, mine arose because I was looking for some data on what percentage of teens babysit now compared to when I feel like everybody was babysitting when we grew up. All of my girlfriends, we all babysat. That's how you got your money to go do own stuff like later. It was your little job. That's the only job I ever had in high school that I got paid for, well and that and painting the back of jean jackets, but I just thought it was the eighties. But I was like, where are the teen babysitters now? So I was looking for data on it and could not find any. But I found this really interesting article in Vox that actually talked about the lack of data, and it was just talking about how the eighties was certainly the heyday and it gave some really interesting reasons for the decline.

[00:03:20] Jane: And basically it's teen employment in general has been declining since the seventies. There's a lot less teen babysitting now because there are just teens are busier now. Their schedules with extracurriculars and that type of thing. Or at least like the teens that you would want to have babysit your kids.

[00:03:38] Jane: And then there also is the rise of adult babysitting, right, where you are adult babysitting kids, not like adults, babysitting adults, although that's an industry too. But the rise of just care.com and other outlets like that. There's more and more people that they're like, I want an adult to babysit my kid. I don't want, you know, a 13-year-old to babysit my kid. And that and just people being the helicopter parent era where people are like, I don't even want my kid who is 12 babysitting a 5-year-old. I want my 12-year-old to still have a babysitter. There's a lot of that also. So that was my not so fun fact. More of like an anecdote of where have all the babysitters gone who are teenagers and that's the story there. So read that Vox article. It just came out earlier this month. And it was just called What Do We Lose When Teens Don't Babysit? Because it talked about the life lessons that you can learn and the skills.

[00:04:31] Etienne: Responsibility.

[00:04:32] Jane: All of it. And, getting cash to go have pizza with your friends.

[00:04:36] Heidi: Well, that's where my fun fact comes in. 'cause I went deep dive into the history of it and it really didn't come about until the thirties

[00:04:45] Etienne: No.

[00:04:45] Heidi: And after World War II, people had gone into the suburbs. They were away from grandparents who could babysit. So it became a necessity to go outside the family to find people to care for the children.

[00:04:59] Heidi: And so teenage girls filled that need and it also gave them spending money. So it gave them autonomy and this power of being able to purchase for themselves. And so I found it fascinating that it was kind of like the start of a women's wave of independence. But starting in teenage years, that they were finding this independence and like, oh, I've got this spending power, and I don't know. I found that interesting. 

[00:05:25] Etienne: That is interesting.

[00:05:26] Heidi: Yeah, so they said, adults during World War II saw babysitting as a solution to societal problems, aiming to keep teenage girls off the streets, provide them with respectable 

[00:05:35] Etienne: streets. What are we doing? Are we out there hooking like

[00:05:38] Heidi: Prepare, prepare them for future domestic responsibilities. You know, yeah, it just, and I guess even during the war time, they encourage girls to contribute to the war effort by caring for children and.

[00:05:51] Etienne: Yeah. 'cause weren't a lot of women were

[00:05:53] Jane: Yeah, so Rosie

[00:05:54] Etienne: had to go to the factories and work and stuff when because the men were out fighting war. Yeah. Then they would try to drag those jobs away from us. 

[00:06:01] Heidi: Yeah. And so it just became a thing into the fifties and sixties and then when we were kids, it just was automatic, you know? Like I remember being 12, taking care of babies 

[00:06:12] Etienne: Yeah. I don't know if I was 12, but I was definitely young. I mean, I wasn't much older than that. I

[00:06:19] Jane: I think I was 13. 

[00:06:20] Etienne: Yeah, I have to look it up. But I think I was 14 actually when I was a co, this is my big story was that I was a co-nanny for an entire summer for my next door neighbor. I lived in Maryland. They had a beach house in Delaware, and they just had a, their baby was maybe like four months old. It wasn't that old. They had a nanny that, she was from Washington State, so she was a live-in, and they went to Delaware for the entire summer and asked if I wanted to come too. They weren't actually paying me, they were like room and board type situation. So I got to stay there. I got food. I don't remember getting any money, but I also didn't do a whole lot of work. I just hung out with the other nanny and we took care of the kid most of the time. But we still had time for ourselves too. So that was the first time I ever got drunk was with the nanny.

[00:07:11] Jane: Nice. 

[00:07:11] Etienne: Other nanny. 'Cause this was also during the time when you could drink beer and wine when you're 18 in Delaware. So yeah, wine coolers. And of course, I had enough wine coolers that my first experience was me vomiting in a trash can next to the bed. I woke up next to a trash can of vomit Jesus.

[00:07:28] Jane: Oh man. 

[00:07:29] Etienne: just did not know, even on my first time how to control myself. But I liked it. I liked it a lot. Oh, also the first time I got kissed, like for reals, like where somebody wanted to kiss me and I got a real kiss. A real time kiss. So yeah, that's as far as it went. But yeah, that was an exciting summer. And that baby was so cute. He was, he was so cute. They called him Spike.

[00:07:53] Jane: Did he have a little spiky head 

[00:07:54] Etienne: No, no. It was He was named after, I believe the mother's brother who had died when she was in child, when she was a kid. Her brother died, so they named him after that brother. I think his real name was Spencer, but they called him Spike, which is the same as her brother as well. Like he had that name. That was his nickname. They did the same thing for their baby. But they were the coolest people. So the dad actually was a DJ at a really famous bar club in Rehobeth Beach in the Eighties. So he would DJ there, Friday through Sunday and had a regular job the rest of the week in Maryland.

[00:08:28] Etienne: So he had to go back and have his regular job and then he'd come back every weekend and do the DJing. That was very cool. It's really, really cool

[00:08:34] Heidi: Hmm. 

[00:08:36] Etienne: Where you could just have unpaid labor, but like, you know, who cares? Like, I would've done it. I mean, I would do it right now, room and board if I didn't have bills to pay, you know?

[00:08:46] Jane: I got paid pretty well by the people that I babysat for, and I definitely had lovely families that I babysat for on my street. I never had to go elsewhere. When I was in college, I did babysit for, I had this weird corporate babysitting gig, it was through an agency and they would set me up with someone who was in town on a business trip, but they had brought their family with them and then there was like some hoity-toity, corporate, black tie affair or something like that, that they had to go to. And so they wanted me to come to the hotel room and watch their kid while he went out with what I'm hoping was his wife. Alright. And it was always that way around. I never did it the other way around in terms of like who was on the business trip and who was accompanying the business person. And that was kind of a weird gig because you're in a hotel room and there's not normal stuff like in a house there. Like the kid had their own toys. So a lot of it was me comforting kids and telling 'em that it was gonna be okay. 

[00:09:41] Etienne: Oh 

[00:09:41] Jane: just, you know, because they're like, where am I? Like, they're not even in their own place. Like if it was a baby or a toddler, it was kind of okay. But the older the kid got the weirder it was because they were just like, this is not my bed. This is not my house. They hardly had anything kind of with them. I had to get very creative and then some of the parents would be okay if I did like a lap around the hotel and other others were like, you're not leaving this room. Which I understand because they're just like, we don't know you.

[00:10:07] Jane: What if you abduct my child? But it, you know, I had gone through a lot of background checks to work for that particular company, but, yeah, that was a weird gig. And then sometimes it was through the same agency I did a couple of gigs where I was babysitting flower girls after a wedding had taken place and the parents were like, and seriously, this is not that bad of an idea. Depending upon your kid. 'Cause when my daughter was little, she was a flower girl and a couple people's weddings. And when people ask you to come to the wedding, but your child is also the flower girl

[00:10:38] Etienne: Mm.

[00:10:39] Jane: Your night is kind of different because now you're not having as much fun, you know? 'Cause I love my child and we have a lot of fun together, but you're still there with your kid, and now everybody else around you is getting drunk and having fun or doing whatever and you're dancing with your kid and it's different kind of fun.

[00:10:55] Etienne: Yeah. You don't get to let loose like they

[00:10:57] Jane: yeah. So I was able to help people let loose because then they handed the child to me and they were like, all right, now go upstairs to the hotel room. 

[00:11:06] Etienne: Did you ever do it for like multiple? Because, when I got married to my ex-husband, we did not allow children except for his sisters brought children. And, I think we hired or somebody volunteered to be the babysitter for them. So they were just away from everybody, like in the same venue, but 'cause we weren't in a hotel, but they were in a room where they were just hanging out and playing. Did you ever do it for multiple kids, like different kids from

[00:11:29] Jane: no, it was just like a flower girl and one time it was the flower girl and the ring bearer. But not like other people bringing their kids, because in New York it was, I was doing this in New York and it was very much a faux pas. You don't invite little kids to weddings and like being in the South and then now, and then people inviting little kids to weddings. I was like, no, no. 

[00:11:49] Etienne: Yeah 

[00:11:49] Jane: people did ask me if their children could come to our wedding and I was like, no. 

[00:11:53] Etienne: Yeah, I literally put it on the invitation so nobody would get the idea. But there weren't that many people who had children 'cause we, you know, were the first of all of his friends to get married. So nobody had kids already.

[00:12:05] Heidi: So you didn't babysit for any whack jobs then? 

[00:12:08] Etienne: Uh, no. I mean.

[00:12:10] Heidi: I'm the only 

[00:12:11] Etienne: No, I did not babysit for whack jobs. I, there was one person who had to actually drive me to their house 'cause it was like a ways away. And my parents didn't offer to drive me to my babysitting gig. So, he would have to pick me up and drive me, the husband.

[00:12:25] Etienne: And they just had all these cookies and food and their kids were already asleep by the time I would get there. So, I don't even remember if I ever saw the children. I think I saw them sleeping, but I didn't have to interact with them awake ever. And I think I babysat for them like multiple, at least five times. And they did pay me decent. He was a good looking guy and I was trying to figure out how old he was, 'cause when you're younger you think everybody's ancient. But I mean, he was probably in his late twenties and I thought he was just so hot and I'm only like, you know, 15 or something. And, I just had these horrific fantasies of what I would've wanted to happen on that drive or drive me to this place.

[00:13:02] Jane: Yeah. 

[00:13:03] Etienne: Um, but it did not happen at all. Nothing inappropriate. No. No

[00:13:10] Heidi: not 

[00:13:10] Jane: never had any hot guys that I

[00:13:13] Heidi: no, I had creepers.

[00:13:16] Jane: you. Yeah, I know. Heidi definitely babysat for some whack jobs. I had a whack job babysit for me, and I'll tell that story afterwards. But you tell us your whack job. 'cause I know your whack job story 

[00:13:28] Heidi: Oh my gosh, I, yeah, I have so many stories about this one couple. So I had put up my little ad at Casey's general store, and Karen had gotten my name and her children, Timmy and Shannon, adorable kids, love these kids. They were like five and three. Really became close with them. And as a teenager, I thought everything that happened was super cool. 'Cause you know, as a teenager having someone you're babysitting for buy you alcohol, bring you into Planned Parenthood so you can get on birth control, allowing you to have your boyfriend over once the kids are asleep and having sex in the guest room, having porn available, taking you to bars, like I thought that was the coolest thing. As an adult, I look back going, wow, that was super inappropriate. 

[00:14:19] Jane: grooming you?

[00:14:20] Heidi: They were totally grooming Yeah, her and her husband worked for some production company. It was Christian Film Production company, which was made it even worse. Yeah. So, you know, they made wholesome 

[00:14:33] Jane: Do you know that for a fact, or is that what they told you? Because they 

[00:14:36] Heidi: No, I, I went and saw their, I saw their studios. Yeah. It was like a Christian production

[00:14:42] Etienne: Oh my gosh. Jane, are you implying that they were making.

[00:14:44] Jane: Yes. And I

[00:14:45] Heidi: I think there were 

[00:14:46] Jane: they, they used the 

[00:14:47] Heidi: for sure.

[00:14:48] Jane: just like, the mobster also runs a construction company. Like I feel that's not what was happening at all.

[00:14:53] Heidi: Yeah. Yeah. It was such a weird setup. They had a roommate, a guy roommate that I think that was part of their throuple and then at one point, this is towards the end, when I stopped babysitting for 'em, she came to me and said her husband wanted to have sex with me. And I was like, Ew. 'Cause they're in their thirties and, you know, like.

[00:15:13] Etienne: How old were you? Let's just, I

[00:15:14] Heidi: I was 15. I was 14 and 15. Yeah. Yeah. What really sealed the deal with me not babysitting for them anymore. I started babysitting for not only those kids but her best friend's kids as well, 'cause they would go out and get drunk. Well, her friend showed up to pick me up drunk. And was like, you gotta drive. And I didn't have a license yet, so I'm driving us to her house to take care of these kids. And I, yeah, I ran into a telephone pole because I didn't know what I was doing. It was the very first time I ever drove.

[00:15:48] Etienne: Oh God. 

[00:15:50] Heidi: Yeah. And then when the cops came, she tried to say that she was driving and then they found out really quick that is not the case. I remember going to court 'cause I got a ticket for driving without a license. I'm bawling thinking I'm never gonna be able to get a license. I'm in so much trouble. But I just paid a 25 fee

[00:16:09] Etienne: Really, that's it. I 

[00:16:10] Jane: I think that they realized that that woman, 

[00:16:12] Etienne: this is not okay. She made me drive her car.

[00:16:15] Heidi: Yeah, Because I didn't know what, you know, 15, I'm just doing what the adult's telling me to do. Yeah. It was so sketchy all around. They took me to Texas, kind of similar to your Delaware,

[00:16:26] Etienne: Uh, yeah. 

[00:16:27] Heidi: Thing. They took me to Texas 'cause I was the babysitter along the way that's gonna take care of the kids while they're visiting family in Texas and I think they set me up with like a cousin or something. I don't know. It was so sketchy. Because I think I made out

[00:16:41] Jane: They wanted you to have sex with him, and then they were gonna record it 

[00:16:44] Heidi: Probably. Seriously? I don't know. Like they would, yeah, they had porn available and allowed my boyfriends to come over and we'd fool around in the guest bedroom, but who knows? Maybe they were recording stuff, I don't know. And then she would call me up and say, Hey, I'm hiring you for a babysitting job. I would get there and her husband would be watching the kids, and me and her would go out to the bars and I'm 15, and here's these adult males. Huh? Yeah, I was like a drinking. Yeah, I was like a drinking. She would tell me her issues and marital problems and yeah, it was really sketchy. There's just so many things that happened there. I was just like, this is not right. So I hope those kids are okay. And her like, okay as adults and yeah, I sometimes wonder about them, but yeah, so that was the majority of my babysitting experience was with that couple and their kids and her crazy friends. 

[00:17:42] Jane: Decidedly not a normal babysitting experience. Um, 

[00:17:48] Etienne: no. I think. 

[00:17:49] Heidi: I mean, I am grateful that they brought me to Planned Parent 'cause they found out that I was having sex with my boyfriend. And they were like, oh yeah, we need to get you fixed up. Because I wasn't talking to my mom. You know, my mom wasn't. Huh, 

[00:18:02] Etienne: you said they, that you needed to get fixed up like with birth.

[00:18:06] Heidi: well fix, you know, like with birth control? Yeah. 

[00:18:09] Etienne: my God. 

[00:18:09] Heidi: Yeah, get me in so that I didn't get pregnant. So I am grateful. Like, okay, they're looking out for me on that. 

[00:18:16] Jane: Well, she didn't want you to become impregnated with her husband's child in the event that you had sex and recorded it and she watched in the corner like he told her to or 

[00:18:24] Etienne: Yeah, exactly. And then they're sharing it on the dark web or you know. 

[00:18:27] Heidi: Well, just her coming to me and saying, my husband wants to have sex with you. I'm like, that is not happening. Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:34] Etienne: She said that, did you babysit for them again after that?

[00:18:37] Heidi: I don't think so. I think that that was definitely towards the end and maybe, 'cause I think it was actually the accident that really the deal with, I'm not working for you guys again because.

[00:18:48] Etienne: I can't be driving your car when I don't have a license and yeah, it's not okay for you to show up to my house drunk and then come

[00:18:57] Jane: So many strikes against 

[00:18:59] Etienne: Yeah, there's so many. 

[00:19:00] Heidi: Yeah, it was super weird. And then one other babysitting story. So I started babysitting for the neighbor and for her son, God, the son, always trying to grab my boob. 

[00:19:13] Etienne: How, how old is a son?

[00:19:15] Heidi: Maybe eight or nine

[00:19:16] Etienne: God. 

[00:19:17] Heidi: and I was like 15, 16. Yeah. So that lasted one summer. I was like, okay, that's enough. He is a, he's a creeper. 

[00:19:23] Etienne: Oh my God.

[00:19:25] Heidi: Yeah. 

[00:19:25] Etienne: Well, I do have a good story too about when a babysitter that, because my brother growing up having oppositional defiance disorder and bipolar disorder, when my parents wanted to go out, which was rarely, but when they did, I did not wanna be in charge of him. Most of the time I was. But every once in a while they'd actually, our next door neighbor again, they had, I think it was the mother's other brother who was living with them for a temporary time. He was in his early twenties probably. And he came over and babysat, not for me, but I just hung out to like watch the show because he was so funny.

[00:19:58] Etienne: He took no shit off my brother. So my brother was being a little shithead and did something violent, I think, and which was normal for him, something violent would usually happen, and Billy, that was his name, he tied my brother up. He like, he literally, yeah, I think he tied his hands behind his back and we emptied the hall closet of shoes and stuffs and we shoved him in the closet and shut the door. And we're we're just like, we're gonna let you out when you're calm. All right. So as soon as you're calm, we'll let you out. And I don't think he was in there for very long, but I could not stop laughing. It was just the best.

[00:20:37] Jane: are like, justice. 

[00:20:38] Etienne: can you come over all the time? Can you be here every day? Just, he was such a big guy. He was like over six feet tall, I swear. And he just could, it felt like he could just like flip my brother around if he wanted to.

[00:20:52] Jane: Did it calm him down? Did it work? 

[00:20:54] Etienne: he totally behaved after that. He did not, He did not, do anything for

[00:20:57] Heidi: He was like, oh shit. 

[00:20:59] Etienne: Is serious. Like, no, he is not gonna hit me, but he is gonna tie my ass up and put me in the closet, so 

[00:21:07] Jane: Probably not on the list of recommended interventions for ODD these days, But uh, 

[00:21:12] Etienne: But it was, but it was, but yeah, I mean, he wasn't gonna hurt himself. He wasn't gonna hurt others. I mean, he could still see light. It was light, it was daytime out still. So we could still see like daytime under the doors coming through. He wasn't like in the dark. I mean, he was in the dark, but it wasn't complete darkness. So like.

[00:21:29] Jane: He was in a dimly lit calm, Timeout. 

[00:21:32] Etienne: closet. Yeah, yeah. Timeout. Yeah. It was just a little bit more confined timeout. Mm-hmm.

[00:21:37] Jane: Restraints and 

[00:21:38] Etienne: For his own safety and for the safety of others.

[00:21:42] Heidi: Oh my. That reminds me of the time I got trapped in a trunk by a babysitter like we were playing at in my mom's old trunk, and I got locked in it somehow. 

[00:21:53] Jane: How big was this trunk? 

[00:21:55] Etienne: this might have been during the time where there was only a key could let you out too.

[00:21:58] Heidi: Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. It was a total freak out. Angel was her name. Yeah. Angel was our babysitter and she just watched soap operas all day. But yeah, I don't know how I got, if she did it or my sister did. I don't know. Somehow I got trapped in the trunk, but 

[00:22:15] Etienne: How 

[00:22:15] Heidi: It was a whole ordeal to get me out. And I was crying. She was crying. Like everybody was crying. 

[00:22:21] Etienne: literally never been inside of a trunk with the door shut ever.

[00:22:25] Jane: I have, but those are stories for another day. Um, I'm gonna stay on topic. Um, 'cause it's babysitting because, and it does have to do with locking somebody up. So it's on theme, but it's also like I had not me babysitting for somebody, but being babysat by a crazy 

[00:22:41] Heidi: Mm-hmm. 

[00:22:42] Jane: So our neighbors who lived down the street had a teenage boy. And I guess my parents were desperate. Not that you can't have a teenage boy babysit and be good at it, but, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it wasn't the norm. Certainly not in the Eighties. And it was definitely not the norm for this particular incident. And so this kid whose name was Greg was solicited for the night, like enlisted to babysit my sister and me. And I was in fifth grade and she was in second grade.

[00:23:08] Etienne: Okay. 

[00:23:08] Jane: So I was like, kinda like at that weird age where it's like you still kind of don't wanna leave, like I was 10, you can't leave a 10-year-old that it was gonna be a late night thing that they were attending. I don't even know where my parents were going, but we were left with Greg, and Greg was a psychopath, but we just didn't know it yet 'cause he seemed normal until about an hour in. He just like, he's pretty much just kind of ignoring us. He's just hanging out and he is watching TV and then he kinda gets up and he is like flipping through my parents' book collection. And he takes out a book that my mom had on Japanese art and there were a lot of, it's like just naked people being depicted in my mom's book, a lot of beautiful prints that had nothing to do, no sexual content at all, but just like he just zoomed in on it. And we're talking about, this is a big book of art that there were maybe over 400 pages this thing, but he just found all the sexual pictures, and he was just like, Hey, what do you think of this? And I'm like, uh, I don't know. And, it was like pictures of like guys, I just, I don't know why this was in the book of art, but they were beautifully rendered pictures, I guess, of just early Japanese porns, what I was looking at with like, everybody's kimonos open, the guys 

[00:24:14] Etienne: I've totally seen this. Yeah. 

[00:24:16] Jane: You have right, okay. And he's just like, what do you think of this? And I was just like, I don't know. He is touching his wiener, I guess. And he's like, yeah, but what do you think about it? Like how does it make you feel? And I was like, weird. Like I was like, I didn't know how to answer and I kept trying to leave the room and he kept just kind of like, he's like, no, no, no. He was grabbing my shirt and just pulling back, like, what about this one? And they were all different pictures of people having sex. And I was just like, I think we're done here. I'm gonna go brush my teeth. And he was just like, whatever. I come back downstairs. Now he's got a different book on reproductive health and he's just opening it. Now we're looking at diagrams of ovaries and he's licking the page. And I was like, I'm gonna tell my mom licking her book and he is just looking at me and not saying anything, just like looking at me just like, ah, like, and I was like, this is really weird. And then I said, I think you need to stop with my mom's books because she likes her books and she's not gonna like you licking them. Now they're wet. I was very protective and geeky about books. Even then I was just like, stop defacing the books and Solid Gold was on television.

[00:25:15] Etienne: Okay. 

[00:25:16] Jane: And then now we've moved on from the books to the solid gold dancers. And he's just like, oh. He's like, oh, they're so sexy. And I was just like, again, with like, well, this guy's got a one track mind. He's like, what do you think of them? He is like, can you dance like them? He's like, you, you're a dancer. Right. Because I was always taking dance classes and sometimes I would just be, practicing in the yard with my friends, making up routines with a leotard on. So he's just thinking, maybe I can get her to dance for me now in the privacy of her own living room. And I was flat out was like, I'm not dancing for you, Greg. And he was like, it's okay. I'll just watch them because they have titties, you know? And so he goes up to the screen,

[00:25:47] Etienne: Oh no. 

[00:25:48] Jane: now he's licking the screen because I remember the sound of the static 

[00:25:53] Etienne: Yes. Oh yes. Static. Nobody, nobody today will know what that means. I mean, at least nobody.

[00:25:59] Jane: You know what? No, they won't, will it? It was just like, but there was like the staticky noise, the saliva from his tongue. If you've ever licked a tv, um, that's what happens. I've never licked a tv, but I saw 

[00:26:11] Etienne: you can't do this on today's tv. He's like, that won't 

[00:26:13] Jane: can't lick a, I I've never tried to lick a flat screen, so I dunno. I'm gonna try tonight. Try, try it at home, folks, and leave it in the comments, what happened when you licked your tv? But yeah, but he did that and it was definitely, he didn't care.

[00:26:27] Etienne: Oh. 

[00:26:28] Jane: And then I was like, all right, I gotta take a shower. 'Cause I feel like this was all happening on a school night. Maybe, I don't know. I can't remember what night of the week solid gold came. 

[00:26:37] Etienne: I feel like it was Fridays, but I could be 

[00:26:38] Jane: Maybe it was Friday, but I just was like, I need to go take a shower. And I took my sister with me. I was like, you are coming. I am not leaving you downstairs with this lunatic by yourself. So I was like, let's go upstairs.

[00:26:48] Heidi: How old of it's

[00:26:49] Jane: Greg was in high school, and you know how when you're that young, it's like he seemed like he was really old, but he probably was like 16.

[00:26:57] Heidi: Uh huh. 

[00:26:57] Jane: Maybe 17. So I took my sister with me. We go upstairs, we lock ourselves in the bathroom and take turns taking showers. And then when we come back downstairs, he's nowhere to be found. And I was just like, okay, this is creepier than when I knew where he was. And then we hear a noise coming from the basement and he's calling our names and he's like, get down here. And I was just like, oh my God, what is happening? And, but I kind of wanted to, I needed to see what was happening, right.

[00:27:29] Heidi: Mm. 

[00:27:30] Jane: So I opened the door and the light, I could see down the stairs and then there's a light dimly coming from the left, which was where my stepfather's workshop was. So he had tools and stuff down there. And then Greg, I see the shadow of him before I see him. Like, like he's walking really slowly from that workroom area, like horror movie style, and he's making references to The Shining, but I didn't know what that was yet 'cause I hadn't seen it. But he was just saying like, you know, Johnny, something like that. And he has the ax over his head and he is wearing my stepfather's army jacket that he found. And so he finally comes into view, but I see in the shadow, like he's got some, I was like, what the fuck is happening? And then he's just there at the bottom of the stairs and then he starts charging up the stairs with an ax over his head. I'm like, oh, no. So I locked, I, I closed the basement door and lock it. And so 

[00:28:20] Heidi: locked in the 

[00:28:21] Jane: he's locked in the basement But now I'm like, okay, 

[00:28:24] Etienne: Is he gonna ax his way through the door, like 

[00:28:26] Jane: Well, maybe he could have, but I was hoping, I was thinking he was just like, I'm just, he goes, I'm just playing. I'm just playing. I'm like, no, you're gonna stay down there. But we had a walkout basement. So he's like, I'm just gonna come around the other way. And I'm like, no, you're not. I set the alarm. We had a burglar alarm and I, so I set it. I was like, if you open the door, the alarm will go off and the police will come.

[00:28:45] Jane: So you're gonna stay in the basement until my parents come home. Which I have to say I'm very proud of 10-year-old me because I thought of that plan in like, this is where my OCD and catastrophizing come in handy because I was like, I kind of already had this 

[00:28:59] Heidi: You would survive a horror movie. 

[00:29:01] Jane: just like, that's it. No, 

[00:29:03] Etienne: we're 

[00:29:03] Jane: like you're, I was just like, you are gonna stay in the basement until my parents come on. And he did. 

[00:29:07] Heidi: Oh 

[00:29:08] Jane: When my parents came home, he had already put the ax away and put the jacket away and he's trying to deny it. And my sister and I were just like, oh no, this is what happened. And my parents totally believed us. And it was like a whole thing with him and my parents and his parents, had this feud. Then from until the day I moved away. So from that day forward, every time I had a slumber party, which was every time I had a birthday, and then for no reason at all, just 'cause I could spring break and have my friends over, my mom would buy us toilet paper and give us permission to toilet paper their house, I mean with copious amounts of toilet paper.

[00:29:41] Heidi: Cool. 

[00:29:41] Jane: And so that's what we would do. Every summer party I had from that point on, we would, my mom gave us permission to leave the house late at night. She goes, whenever, you gotta do what you gotta do. There's the toilet paper. My stepdad didn't know what we were doing, but we would see it the next day and it'd be like, oh wow. Those crazy kids. And my mom would wink at me like, well done, you know? And it would just be there forever, you know? And it would rain and I would be

[00:30:02] Etienne: Oh. 

[00:30:02] Jane: and I'd, I'd walk my dog past their house and be like, oh man, that really sucks. And I did that until I graduated high school. I like just,

[00:30:10] Heidi: Oh

[00:30:11] Jane: oh yeah. It was just a thing that we did.

[00:30:13] Etienne: Wow 

[00:30:14] Jane: Yeah. They deserved it. Greg was an asshole. Like,

[00:30:18] Etienne: That's fantastic. Greg was psycho.

[00:30:21] Jane: Yes.

[00:30:21] Heidi: Yeah. 

[00:30:23] Jane: But I seriously, what a jerk. 

[00:30:25] Etienne: Right. Oh my God. 

[00:30:27] Heidi: I had a creeper boy babysitter. Well, it wasn't technically our babysitter, it was when my mom had drop us off at her friend's house so that they could go out drinking. Those girls had a babysitter and yeah, he. 

[00:30:42] Etienne: Was he meant to be watching? He 

[00:30:44] Heidi: He became my boyfriend. Yes, it was. I was 12. He was 21. 

[00:30:50] Jane: Whoa, whoa

[00:30:50] Etienne: Wait. Wait. You were 12. He was how old? Sorry. 

[00:30:52] Heidi: 21. My mom let me. Yeah. Yeah. I was molested. But yeah, basically you were molested. Yeah. At that age. 

[00:30:59] Etienne: on. Aw. 

[00:31:01] Heidi: Yeah. Yeah. I remember going to school, 'cause I was in seventh grade, it was before I turned 13 and telling people about my older boyfriend, God, so creepy. I was just thinking back like I thought I was so cool having this adult boyfriend, I can't believe my mom let me. 

[00:31:17] Jane: Your mom was drinking at this time.

[00:31:19] Heidi: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 

[00:31:20] Etienne: Yeah, but she was, she like always drinking. I mean,

[00:31:24] Jane: that 

[00:31:25] Etienne: were moments she was sober, right? Where she could go like, this is not a good idea.

[00:31:29] Jane: I am so sorry, Heidi. That's 

[00:31:31] Heidi: I don't know. Yeah. There was a lot of creepy babysitting people, either babysitters or people I babysat for. Yeah, just wild.

[00:31:40] Jane: This was not in the Vox article about the why the decline of babysitting, but this is totally feeding into the proclivity for modern parents. Well, to be like, I'm 

[00:31:49] Heidi: the dark side. 

[00:31:50] Jane: trust people with my kids unless they're an adult that I can vet and there's a background check and you know. But definitely teenage boys. I don't know. I 

[00:31:58] Etienne: But even background check doesn't mean that they might not have gotten caught yet. You know what I mean?

[00:32:03] Jane: A hundred percent.

[00:32:04] Etienne: doing things. yeah. Like, yeah. Which is terrible.

[00:32:07] Jane: But this is why when my daughter was born, I didn't leave her with a babysitter until she could talk, you know, and then, 

[00:32:13] Etienne: she could tell you what's up. 

[00:32:15] Jane: And then I only left her with people I could trust. And everybody actually was awesome except for this one girl who had been a former student of mine and she babysat my daughter because she could talk, told me that, she's like, oh, you know, she told me, the babysitter told me, 'cause I don't wanna name her 'cause it's you know, but the babysitter told me that my Barbies couldn't get married, but I wanted them to get married. They love each other. And I was like, your Barbies can get married.

[00:32:37] Jane: And I was like, we're gonna have a talk with this babysitter, you know? And then it turned out that my daughter did grow up to be queer. And, I'm not outing my daughter. She's fine with me saying that. But, what a terrible, what if she hadn't told me that? You know what I mean? And then she internalized that. We were able to chat through it. 'Cause my daughter was only four when this happened

[00:32:55] Etienne: Hmm. 

[00:32:55] Jane: And I was like, oh no, your Barbies can get married. That's 

[00:32:57] Etienne: What if she didn't tell you and then just, she just internalized it and then yeah.

[00:33:01] Jane: Exactly. 

[00:33:02] Etienne: That means if I fall in love with woman, I can't get married. Yeah, 

[00:33:05] Jane: Exactly. And, so I did tell that babysitter. I was like, you can't talk to my daughter about that kind of thing. It's not your place to tell her that. Because that does not align with our beliefs as a family, that's not how we're raising her. And she's like, yeah, but God doesn't want, and I'm like, okay, you know what? We're done here. You're not gonna babysit my kid again 'cause I couldn't trust her to not think that she was doing God's work by telling me that, that her Barbies couldn't get married. And, if you're listening and that's your belief system, that's cool. Just don't push it on other people's kids. I don't actually think it's cool, but keep it to yourself. Don't be telling other

[00:33:36] Etienne: You're allowed to think what you want, but 

[00:33:38] Jane: Right. But don't say that because that would've been really, really harmful message for my poor kid. But in all the poor kids out there, just having some kind of messed up experience where an authority figure of some kind, because when you're that little, a teenager is oh my God, yay. You're a more fun adult. That's how they're looking at that scenario. So there's still a very strong power dynamic.

[00:34:01] Etienne: Yes, there is. Yes. Oh, I did wanna tell you, I looked up, solid goal, it was typically a broadcast on Saturday nights.

[00:34:06] Jane: Saturday night, okay, 

[00:34:08] Etienne: Mm-hmm.

[00:34:09] Jane: Solid gold. I remember like 

[00:34:10] Etienne: It premiered September 13th, 1980. Just so you know. It says. 

[00:34:14] Heidi: That was one of our favorites too. I remember the gold jumpsuits, and

[00:34:18] Etienne: and the dance line didn't have the dance line where everybody 

[00:34:20] Jane: Yes yes. 

[00:34:22] Heidi: I remember I had outfits from my Barbies that were solid gold dancer 

[00:34:27] Etienne: Oh wow. You're very, that's very cool. 

[00:34:29] Jane: I don't know if my more solid gold theme, but I definitely remember there being a lot of like bright metallic outfits of all different colors for the Barbies. And

[00:34:38] Heidi: yes. Barbie was very disco. 

[00:34:40] Jane: And my favorite babysitters were the babysitters who played Barbies with me.

[00:34:43] Heidi: Yes. Yeah. 

[00:34:45] Etienne: would. 

[00:34:46] Jane: I enjoyed. babysitting for kids and playing Barbies with them too, or other games because when you're a teenager you still kind of, I think that that's something that also today's teenagers might be missing out on. 

[00:34:57] Etienne: Yeah, just playing with younger kids,

[00:34:59] Jane: playing with younger kids and still being able to embrace that part of themselves that might still want to maybe just play a little bit more.

[00:35:06] Etienne: Yeah. 

[00:35:07] Jane: But, this was back when you couldn't just hand the kid the iPad for three hours till the parents got back. You had to play. 

[00:35:12] Etienne: Yeah, you had to play. You had to engage. You had to wear 'em out. 'Cause sometimes you'd get there and they still had a few hours before bed.

[00:35:19] Jane: Yeah, you need to get those kids to bed so you can raid the snack cabinet and be like, I need to eat little Debbie's 'cause I don't have that shit at my house. 

[00:35:26] Etienne: Yeah, 'cause usually they would also have like TV that my parents didn't have. So I would, yeah, like they might have cable. I didn't have cable at my house. 

[00:35:34] Heidi: mean, call all your friends and 

[00:35:37] Etienne: I didn't do that. 

[00:35:38] Jane: Yeah. The phone 

[00:35:41] Heidi: Yeah, calling all your friends and eating all the food. Yeah. 

[00:35:44] Etienne: Oh my God. 

[00:35:45] Jane: Those are the upsides. We'll conclude on the upsides of babysitting in the Eighties or just like the snack, the snacks alone. 

[00:35:52] Etienne: Yeah. And movies I got to watch. Movies I would never have seen. Like that, that one family, the one that I had to be driven to their house, they would leave me all kinds of VHS or beta, I can't remember if it was beta or VHS at the time, probably beta And they're like, here, we rented all these, which one you can watch whatever you want. And so I just, I remember I watched, there was a movie, now I can't remember the name of it, but Neil Diamond was the star of it. I think it was meant to be about his life, actually, a little bit. Yeah. So it had all Neil Diamond songs on it and everything. Yeah, it was very, I saw that movie there.

[00:36:24] Jane: I love Neil Diamond. I loved it when like the people I babysat for had HBO because we did not, and then I would watch movies that even as a teenager, I still wasn't allowed to see rated R movies in my own household. So I'm like, I'm watching all the rated R stuff here. Um, and to just not ever tell my mom that I saw all the things.

[00:36:43] Etienne: the things. 

[00:36:44] Jane: It was like six months after it was in theaters, but who gives a shit? I saw it and now I can talk to my friends about it now that they've probably moved on. They're just like, oh, you finally saw that? Yeah. But yeah. Good times. Babysitting in the Eighties. Oh my goodness. Tessa, that's really loud babysitting in the Eighties. 

[00:37:01] Heidi: That's our show you've been listening to, the Women are Plotting. If you have a story you'd like to share or have any comments, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at info@thewomenareplotting.com and of course you can find us on all the socials. Thanks, and until next time, be safe and be excellent to each other.