Threesomes: Fantasy vs. Reality

How common are threesomes—and do they live up to the fantasy?

In this candid, funny, and surprisingly thoughtful episode of The Women Are Plotting, Etienne Rose Olivier, Heidi Willis, and Jane Gari explore one of the most talked-about sexual fantasies while sharing their own real-life experiences. From first-time threesomes and unexpected awkward moments to hilarious mishaps and successful encounters, the hosts discuss what actually happens when fantasy meets reality.

The conversation covers communication, boundaries, consent, bisexuality, ethical non-monogamy, dating apps like Feeld, and the importance of making sure everyone involved feels respected and comfortable. The hosts also examine why threesomes remain one of the most common sexual fantasies, why fantasy doesn't always translate into real-life interest, and how trust and honest conversations are essential before anything happens.

Whether you're simply curious, have wondered about the psychology behind threesomes, or enjoy honest conversations about modern sexuality, this episode offers humor, personal stories, and a refreshingly sex-positive perspective on one of society's most misunderstood topics.

Email us at info@thewomenareplotting.com, and find us on all the socials. Be safe and be excellent to each other.

Transcript

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[00:00:00] Etienne: Especially Feeld, like you immediately know. And you can have through conversations when you meet somebody, find out how sex positive they are. Like, are they just on here to get casual sex, or are they actually sex positive? There is a difference, and I think I define sex positivity as the men and the women are expecting to get the same out of the sex, and they want each other to get the same out of a sexual experience. Like, the men aren't looking down on the women because they wanna have sex. It should be, "No, we're all gonna have sex. We're all gonna have a good time. Everybody is just a human being having sex and enjoying themselves." And that's how I define sex positivity. Like, we're equals. We're equals in sex, and that's how it should be.

[00:00:41] Etienne: Welcome listeners. This is Women Are Plotting. I'm Etienne Rose Olivier, and I'm here with my friends and co-hosts, Heidi Willis and Jane Gari.

[00:00:56] Etienne: On today's episode, we're gonna be talking about threesomes, and I found a bunch of statistics, but I'm only gonna read one specific category in case other people are using the same thing. So when it comes to sexual orientation, sexual minorities report significantly higher lifetime engagement of threesomes.

[00:01:17] Etienne: This was the data published by datingadvice.com. It found that 63% of gay men have had a threesome compared to roughly 26% of straight men and 11% of all women. So I figure there might be a bunch of statistics from you guys, so I didn't wanna like take up all of them. I could've just been like, "Eh." But Heidi, I think

[00:01:37] Heidi: There was other studies apparently. So according to The Chive, 95% of men admit to fantasizing about threesomes, and it was supposedly the bottom fantasy for women. Like, they had other fantasies above it. Yeah. And a- apparently 22% of Canadians have had one. And the, from this study they said 18% of US men have had it, and then 10% of US women have had one. But yeah, Canadians are getting after it.

[00:02:08] Etienne: The f- what the hell is going up in Canada? You remember, I might be moving to Vermont for sure now that we heard this. Like canadians 

[00:02:15] Jane: it's cold. They have to keep warm, so you need, 

[00:02:18] Heidi: Yeah 

[00:02:18] Jane: another person in the bed to make it warmer

[00:02:22] Etienne: smart. It's about warmth.

[00:02:24] Heidi: How about you, Jane?

[00:02:25] Jane: I think I looked at the same survey. It was like a 2017 survey, and so if you round up, then the numbers I have are similar. But I have some other stats, so let me look and see if we have some other. Like one of the things though that was common across all of these surveys though, and then just kind of like an aggregate study of all of these across the board is that fantasy and interest are far more common than actual participation.

[00:02:52] Jane: Um, so yes, like while it's-- threesomes rank among the most common sexual fantasies in the US, actual participation is much lower. So the numbers are, you know, the same. It's 17.8% of men and 10.3% of women in the US saying that they actually participated. But that was 2017, and then I found another survey in 2023 that said it was 19%, but that didn't divide it out by biological sex, and I think it really just depends on the source.

[00:03:24] Jane: And like most sexual surveys, I would imagine that self-reporting becomes a little difficult. Like one of the aggregate breakdowns I found is that men consistently report higher participation rates than women, but I'm like, they're having them with somebody. Like who are these people that are participating? But I did find though across the board that

[00:03:44] Etienne: It could be the same men just finding

[00:03:47] Jane: You know what?

[00:03:48] Heidi: two guys and one girl, like that's happening. That, that means there's two guys per girl, so the stat

[00:03:55] Etienne: that's all it is. Maybe it's usually two-- Maybe it's more two guys with one girl versus two girls and one guy, you know?

[00:04:01] Jane: I am

[00:04:02] Heidi: that's the lowest one. Like women report not wanting that one. Isn't that

[00:04:08] Etienne: wait. I'm sorry, which one are they saying they don't want?

[00:04:10] Heidi: Th- they don't want two men and a woman.

[00:04:13] Etienne: What is wrong with them?

[00:04:14] Heidi: I...

[00:04:17] Jane: Etty

[00:04:17] Heidi: the article is like, I guess women, I don't know, fear, the fear factor, I guess, of having to, you know, just, and not feeling safe.

[00:04:26] Etienne: Oh, okay

[00:04:28] Jane: 100% understand that,

[00:04:30] Heidi: Yeah.

[00:04:31] Jane: especially if you don't know them

[00:04:32] Heidi: it's like 2%. It's 2% of the, yeah,

[00:04:36] Etienne: 2% of the what?

[00:04:37] Heidi: of the women's population that wants two men and, and a

[00:04:42] Etienne: Okay, so it's 2%. I wonder how many just not only wants, but has actually had that. Just 'cause I wanna find out where I sit in that

[00:04:49] Jane: You're very rare, Etty. That's where you sit

[00:04:51] Heidi: Yes. Yeah

[00:04:54] Etienne: Oh my God. Well I always thought that like why I didn't wanna do two women and one guy threesome. Like, I've never really been interested in that ever because I would always assume, thanks to porn, that the guy is going to expect at some point that the two women are gonna be doing stuff with each other.

[00:05:11] Etienne: And with me being full on like, "I don't wanna touch a woman's pussy," thing, you know, like early before that, yeah, that I'm like, I don't want... Don't expect that. But I mean, I guess communication beforehand you would just be like, "All right. So I'm not touching the woman. I'm not touching so and so, Jane over here."

[00:05:28] Etienne: Not you Jane, sorry. Just like Jane Doe. I'm thinking Jane Doe. Not you, Jane. I would touch you if you wanted me to. Sorry.

[00:05:37] Jane: We're all good.

[00:05:38] Etienne: name. I had to use some other name. But yeah, I, yeah. So that, that was my reasoning behind not wanting to have two women and one guy, or me, another woman, and a guy, obviously.

[00:05:49] Etienne: Yeah, I've always been interested in the two men and me threesome. But I used to always say, literally almost my entire life until my ex-husband left me, so all the time before that, literally for 43 years, I said I would not do that. I would literally fantasize it, but not do it in real life because I didn't want...

[00:06:13] Etienne: I wanted to be the only one that remembered after. So I guess I would have to roofie the two guys so that I would be the only Like, how are they having sex with me if they're roofied? You know? So this isn't gonna work out. So I knew that, like that's not, that's not possible. Like, that's not the real world.

[00:06:27] Etienne: So I just thought I'll just fucking fantasize about this forever and not get to do it. Um, but no. No, no. I got to do it twice now.

[00:06:39] Heidi: Yeah.

[00:06:39] Etienne: I'm so excited about that. Well, the first one, uh, the, 

[00:06:49] Etienne: the one guy was my 18-year-old friend with benefits that I'd been having sex with for a couple months. And we were talking, 'cause I used to have to drive him to and from the college that he was going to, so we had a lot of time to talk.

[00:06:56] Etienne: And he was asking me one day if I had another girl, like another woman about my age that maybe his roommate could get with, and I'm like, "Yeah, I only have one and she's not into younger guys. She's into older guys, so that does not work out for you, I mean, your roommate." But as I was sitting there, I was just like, "Hmm."

[00:07:14] Etienne: And I wasn't thinking, like, me and this guy and his roommate. That wasn't at all what I was thinking. But I started to think, I don't... I immediately started thinking about, well, there was that guy recently that I had had sex with. He was married and they had an open marriage, so they both could, like, fool around.

[00:07:32] Etienne: But most of the time what that guy did, the married one, was and his wife would go out to, like, concerts or bars or whatever, or dance clubs, and find a few men, and then they would all have sex with her. She would flirt with a group of guys,

[00:07:48] Heidi: Interesting

[00:07:49] Etienne: they would say, "Hey, wanna go find someplace to, like, have sex?" So he'd had, like, group sex with his wife, and I think most of the time he wasn't even a part of it, was my guess. That he would just be the cuck and just kinda stand there and watch them get it all on with his wife.

[00:08:04] Etienne: And I was supposedly the first one that he wanted to play with outside of his marriage, like privately. I did have sex with him that night, when I met him. He did go down on me really well, but he had a hard time staying erect during intercourse.

[00:08:17] Heidi: Mm-hmm

[00:08:18] Etienne: But because he'd had multiple times with multiple men and one woman, I thought, "He might be good for a threesome." All right, so I totally gave away the red flag of why he might not be good for a threesome, because my, my main goal, besides having sex with two men at the same time, I wanted to have double penetration, because I had gotten into anal sex thanks to the guy I had been dating, like, a year before that.

[00:08:43] Etienne: So I actually... You know, he was determined, and he won. Um, I am I am fully open for all kinds of sex, and that used to be completely closed, that one place, but now no longer closed. So I wanted to experience double penetration. That was my main goal for the threesome. So I asked the 18-year-old, "Would you be interested if I knew somebody who would be also be interested in having a threesome, a guy?"

[00:09:08] Etienne: And he's like, "Well, maybe." I'm like, "Why are you hesitant? Because you're worried that he might touch you or something?" He's like, "Yeah, 'cause I don't know him." And I'm like, "Well, we would talk about it beforehand, but I would completely say to him, do not touch him. I said there might be like incidental, accidental, like if we are doing the DP, then your, whoever balls might be touching a penis.

[00:09:31] Etienne: It's not like he's trying to do that. It might just happen." He's like, "Oh, no, no, I'm okay with that." I'm like, "Well, if you're okay with that, then I can pretty much guarantee, or actually I can guarantee nothing else will happen. Everything's gonna stop otherwise." And he was like, "Okay." And I'm like, "Okay."

[00:09:44] Etienne: I think he was just saying okay. He did sound more enthusiastic than what I just did, but I could tell he was like still kind of like, "I'll do it for you" kind of thing. And so I was like, "Well, it probably won't happen anyway," 'cause I'd been trying to have this happen so many times and it wasn't happening, so I didn't really think it was going to happen.

[00:10:01] Etienne: But I did text that married guy and he said yes. He's like, "Just tell me where I'm going and when." And I was like, "Okay." So then I asked the college student like, "Okay, he's wanting to. Are you okay with it like this coming weekend or something, or next week?" And he said yes. So we set it up and it was really hot because me and the 18-year-old were already at my house before the guy arrived, so we made sure to be there beforehand so he could be more comfortable in just hanging out with me.

[00:10:29] Etienne: And then the married guy showed up and it was just very weird. I remember, not weird, but in just awkward-ish. And I remember the married guy asked my friend there, So what's the hottest thing you've ever done sexually?" Just to have a conversation, you know. And the guy, my college student friend there said, "Her." That's what

[00:10:51] Heidi: Oh my God

[00:10:52] Etienne: to me like I'm the hottest thing. I'm like, "I don't think that's what he meant, but okay. Thanks for the compliment."

[00:10:59] Heidi: He was 18, so things were flying over his head.

[00:11:03] Etienne: I know. He's like, "Her?"

[00:11:04] Heidi: guy.

[00:11:05] Etienne: oh no, it's not the question, but okay. Um, maybe he did understand the question, he just wanted to be funny or cute.

[00:11:12] Etienne: It worked. I thought that was sweet. But then we, I mean, he's like, "Okay, well should we go upstairs?" And we're like, so we went upstairs and, you know, started asking permission to do things like, "Can I kiss you?" Like, "Can I take your clothes off?" Like, you know, just starting like asking questions and things were going really well and yes, no, the guy was not, the married guy was not trying to touch the college student at all.

[00:11:32] Etienne: Things were completely separate. And, yeah, there was a lot of oral sex. Had condoms and a trash can available so if we go from like intercourse to oral, we could just throw that condom away, have a condom ready, you know, to like back it up when it was time to like put stuff where, you know, need to be wearing the condom.

[00:11:47] Etienne: And, yeah, like once the married guy started trying to penetrate me vaginally, things got not erect very quickly. Things started getting a little flaccid almost, and then so I'd have to pull the condom off, put him back in my mouth. I remember the last thing that we tried before trying the DP was I had them laying pretty close to each other, not touching, but laying and so that there was enough room for me to have my legs like between their bodies.

[00:12:17] Etienne: And so what I was doing was having one go down on me while I was giving the other one a blowjob then I would switch. So, they're both getting something and I think I might have had my hand on the other one too. So everything was happening and I wasn't actually getting off at all during any of this because I was too worried about how they were feeling and not, not trying to concentrate on me because I don't, as you know, like it's, well as you, as women it's harder.

[00:12:41] Etienne: You have to really concentrate to have an orgasm and this was a totally new situation for me and so it'd be even more difficult for me to achieve orgasm. Hold on one second. Angus, come here. Sorry. Okay. Angus is like, "Stop talking about threesomes and pick me up." Um, so so yeah, we were doing the them laying next to each other.

[00:13:03] Etienne: It got them very, very, very hard and then had the 18-year-old college student lay on the bed. I got on top of him, so he was in my pussy, and then I had my ass exposed for the married guy, and I felt him try to put his penis inside of my ass. And it was like he was trying to shove, like, you know, the wet noodle

[00:13:28] Heidi: Yeah. Oh,

[00:13:30] Etienne: shouldn't have actually given him the harder spot to go into. That was my dumbass move, but at that point it had happened every time that he was trying to penetrate me in any way that he's like, "Um, yeah, I'm just gonna go sit over here," 'cause I did have a chair that was across the room at the time.

[00:13:46] Etienne: Don't have that anymore, but it was a very nice recliner chair. And so he went and he's like, "I'm just gonna have a live sex show for a while." So he just went over there, and he literally did watch us, like,

[00:13:55] Jane: Did he say those words?

[00:13:57] Etienne: Yes, he did. He said, "I will go over here and have a live sex show for a while." And I thought he would maybe come back and try, but at this point I was already...

[00:14:03] Etienne: This whole thing maybe was, like, 30 minutes at this point, maybe. It wasn't a long time. That I was like, "Yeah, he's failed twice. No." Like, he's failed with any time trying to penetrate me, so I don't think this is gonna happen. He was only hard in my mouth. I mean, really hard in my mouth, but not anywhere else.

[00:14:20] Etienne: So yeah, he, he I think he sat in the chair for maybe five minutes, and then I saw him starting to put his clothes on. I'm like, "Yeah, I see where this is going." And he's like, "Yeah, I'm just gonna go." And I'm like, "Okay. Well, thanks for coming by." You know? Like, I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was some kind of like that.

[00:14:38] Etienne: And he's like, "Okay, bye." And I didn't ever text him. Like, there was no communication again after that. And as soon as he left, I looked down at my little college friend with benefit there, and I'm like, "Do you wanna fuck my ass?" And he's like, "Yes, please." And I'm like, "Okay." And I said, "We can get the dildo, and we can put it in my pussy, and then it'll be like we're getting what I wanted." And he's like, "Okay. Yes, please. Let's do that." And I'm like

[00:15:01] Heidi: Aw.

[00:15:01] Etienne: Yeah, so that's my failed, failed threesome. Well, I mean, it wasn't a fail, it was a failed DP, so it was a f- yeah, yeah. But I, goddammit, that goddamn red flag, I totally ignored it, should not have. And I do have-- I do question if he might not have been closeted or was more into men than women because, you know, the fact that two times he'd been with me where he couldn't stay hard inside of me, and the wife wanting to have an open relationship, 'cause I think she's the one that brought it up when he told me the story originally.

[00:15:34] Etienne: So I think this might be a problem of his, and he was a theater teacher at a high school, which I think more skews to the, you know, maybe on the, the scale of like maybe on the homosexual side versus heterosexual, you know? Like maybe more on that end of the spectrum just 'cause you're a theater teacher.

[00:15:53] Etienne: I don't know. It just seems like maybe. Looks like Jane wants to say something

[00:15:58] Jane: of it, but I, but s- uh, statistically,

[00:16:01] Etienne: I knew it.

[00:16:01] Jane: yeah. I

[00:16:03] Etienne: I knew you were gonna say that.

[00:16:04] Jane: yeah. That what statistically?

[00:16:07] Etienne: Yes

[00:16:08] Jane: I mean, yeah, it's a thing

[00:16:10] Etienne: Yeah. So I think that's my fault. But he was very respectful, did not try to touch the college student at all, so there was no, nothing bad untoward happened. So it was a positive experience for the college student. Maybe he'll end up having, you know, a successful DP with somebody else down the road, 'cause it wasn't with me, my second one.

[00:16:31] Etienne: We'll talk about that later. But yeah, it was... I actually thought, well, okay, I had my threesome. I wasn't actually looking for anything in the future. I thought it was so hard to fucking get one. It took me two years of trying. I'm probably not gonna have another opportunity, you know. So I was like, I'll just be good with what I had, and the fantasy's better than reality, and blabbity blah.

[00:16:50] Etienne: But, yeah, somebody else needs to tell a story. I can't go into I know, I know Heidi's got one.

[00:16:58] Heidi: It's not much, I don't know, not much to t- I mean, it happened recently, my very first one. Yeah. So, it happened right after my first lesbian experience too. So finally got to explore the bi side, and yeah. It, yeah. So I mean, it wasn't a whole lot of action between the three of us really.

[00:17:20] Heidi: It was just he was fucking her and then fingering me and yeah

[00:17:25] Etienne: So wait, does that mean that you and... Even though you'd had the lesbian experience with the woman and you and a couple basically. So you had had sex with her before, but during the threesome there wasn't a lot going on between you two. Is that

[00:17:38] Heidi: no. So it was, it was like a partial threesome. I don't, I don't

[00:17:41] Jane: how was it nego- like, take us to the beginning. Like, how was this negotiated? Like, like you're not all of a sudden in a room with two people doing these things. Like how

[00:17:50] Etienne: We just drop you in there like The Matrix.

[00:17:55] Heidi: I think someone was napping. She was napping, so he had just gotten home and yeah, we went in to wake her up, and then, I don't know, just kissing started happening and

[00:18:08] Jane: But had

[00:18:08] Heidi: hot and

[00:18:09] Jane: it ahead of time?

[00:18:11] Heidi: No, there was no discussion at all.

[00:18:14] Etienne: Oh my God, you just dropped it on her while she was napping? Like, you woke her up?

[00:18:17] Heidi: no, no. Like woke her up and we were talking and then, yeah, everybody just started kissing and it just happened. I don't

[00:18:25] Jane: how did you know these people

[00:18:27] Heidi: Oh, yeah, the, the... They were friends.

[00:18:29] Jane: Okay

[00:18:30] Heidi: Yeah, they were friends since November and yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:34] Jane: were married, correct

[00:18:35] Heidi: No, no, engaged. They were engaged. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's a long, complicated story. They wanted me to be a part of like a throuple with them, and it kinda went sour really quick. It kinda blew up and exposed some cracks in their relationship, and they are no more now. So

[00:18:53] Etienne: But wait, there had to be conversation then before. I'm assuming that if they wanted you to be part of their

[00:18:59] Heidi: Oh yeah, that was, that came before.

[00:19:00] Etienne: Yeah, but, but you guys definitely had a conversation also, or at least mentioned, I'm assuming, that there might end up being sex between all three of you at the same time, right?

[00:19:09] Heidi: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:11] Etienne: Okay, so there was a conversation. It wasn't

[00:19:13] Heidi: Yeah, we, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. We were a throuple, all three of us.

[00:19:17] Etienne: Yeah. So you, you would have sex with each of them individually was definitely gonna happen. But also at some point, as it did happen, that there was gonna be all three of you at the same

[00:19:28] Heidi: Exactly.

[00:19:29] Etienne: Okay,

[00:19:30] Heidi: Yep

[00:19:31] Etienne: Well, was that a good experience? 

[00:19:33] Heidi: It was fun. It was fun. Yeah.

[00:19:35] Etienne: Okay. So really it was just him doing things to both of you, but you not to the woman at all

[00:19:42] Heidi: Not, not at that time, no.

[00:19:44] Jane: But you separately though were into each other. So that's kind of interesting that you could separately do that, but then that didn't become, I don't know, like a main course of the interaction

[00:19:56] Heidi: That was, I mean, that was eventually where we were leading to, but then it went south really quick and we never got a chance to do the all three of us together

[00:20:04] Etienne: Boy, I do have another question, then follow-up question. Did you, had you already had sex with her before the threesome?

[00:20:10] Heidi: Yes.

[00:20:11] Etienne: Okay. Okay.

[00:20:12] Heidi: Just the night before.

[00:20:13] Etienne: Oof. Wow

[00:20:15] Heidi: like I said, I had a lot of firsts that happened in one 24-hour period. Sex with a woman and then literally 12 hours later

[00:20:24] Etienne: Damn.

[00:20:25] Heidi: With both of them.

[00:20:26] Etienne: that's crazy. That's a lot in 12, yeah, 20

[00:20:29] Heidi: Yep. So yeah, I would like to try it out again and maybe, check out what, what Etty is into with the two guys and one girl. Like I wouldn't mind trying that out. Like I'm

[00:20:42] Etienne: have you had the two female and one male fantasy? And then have you had the two men and you fantasy before?

[00:20:48] Heidi: Not that one as much, but there have been movies, so...

[00:20:53] Etienne: There have been movies?

[00:20:54] Heidi: I meant to look it up. Yes. Yeah, so there's a movie, a soft porn movie that Billy Zane was in,

[00:21:02] Etienne: Oh yes, please tell me the name of this movie

[00:21:05] Heidi: And it was on showtime After Dark or something like that. 

[00:21:09] Etienne: It wasn't the one hosted by, like, Red Shoe Diaries, was it, with

[00:21:12] Heidi: Yes. Yeah, it was like Red Shoe Diaries type. Yeah, yeah

[00:21:16] Etienne: think that was Showtime, wasn't it? Was it Showtime? There was a lot of like softcore porn on there. I mean, there wasn't like no, no penetration. I don't think you saw dick, but like you definitely like situational hotness here.

[00:21:29] Heidi: Yeah.

[00:21:30] Etienne: In that? Like, what's the scene in there in that? 

[00:21:32] Heidi: so the the movie, the whole plot was about, I'm looking for it right now. Yeah, so that storyline was these two people, I believe they were just nomadic, so maybe they were in a carnival. I can't remember. They were just going from city to city or mechanics or something.

[00:21:49] Heidi: I don't know. So this housewife is like intrigued by them and gets into their camper or something, I don't know, and ends up on the road with them, and then they find her. I don't know. There's just a really hot hot tub scene between the three of them, and I've had a fantasy of that

[00:22:07] Etienne: So it's, it's a girl and two guys? 

[00:22:09] Heidi: Yes. No, no, it's two girls and a guy.

[00:22:12] Etienne: Oh, okay. 

[00:22:13] Heidi: So th- you know, that's when I first started going, "Uh, I might be..."

[00:22:18] Etienne: Close 

[00:22:19] Heidi: Lake Consequence is the name. Lake Consequence. So Irene, a 30-something housewife with a successful husband and a young son, has her life thrown in a spin when she becomes attracted to Billy, a member of a landscape... Oh, so yeah, landscape crew outside her house.

[00:22:36] Heidi: When Irene's husband and son leave for the weekend fishing trip, Irene, wanting to see Billy, gets locked in the back of his trailer and ends up at remote Lake Consequence with Billy and his girlfriend Grace, where they take Irene on a trip into the nearby town to a Chinese New Year festival, through a series of adventures, they bring out the repressed sexual needs Irene has been holding inside for a long time. 

[00:23:00] Etienne: Oh, okay

[00:23:01] Heidi: So that's the summary. But yeah, the hot tub scene. Yeah. That was in the masturbation

[00:23:06] Etienne: Oh, is it in your, like, your spank

[00:23:08] Heidi: Yeah, my spank bank, definitely Billy Zane, and I think it was, like, a s- one of the supermodels at the time was the other one in it. 

[00:23:17] Etienne: Oh, really?

[00:23:18] Heidi: And then the other movie that intrigued me was Threesome, the actual movie Threesome with what is her name? Laura Flynn Boyle, Josh Charles, and Stephen Baldwin 

[00:23:30] Etienne: don't-- I think I saw that. That was a long time ago, right?

[00:23:34] Heidi: It's, yeah, it's a comedy and Josh Charles's character is a repressed, like, hasn't come out of the closet gay man, who's attracted to his roommate, Stephen Baldwin, who's attracted to Laura Flynn Boyle, who, because she has a boy's name, got stuck with them as like a roommate or suitemate, 

[00:23:54] Etienne: Okay 

[00:23:55] Heidi: to the secretly gay guy. And

[00:23:58] Etienne: Gosh, Charles. That's perfect. So they're all gonna have sex with each other so they all get what they want, right?

[00:24:02] Heidi: Yeah, so there's a hot and steamy scene where they finally give in and like, yeah, things happen.

[00:24:08] Etienne: That's cool. I'm gonna have to...

[00:24:09] Heidi: and then she gets a pregnancy scare and it's like, "Whose baby is it?"

[00:24:13] Etienne: Oh God. Oh, see, we have to put in the badness of why you should never have a threesome with two men, 'cause then you're not gonna know who the baby's father is.

[00:24:24] Jane: Well, that was actually like, the only time I ever was like, "Oh, that's actually enticing," is a movie called "The Mists of Avalon," it's just based on the Arthurian legends, and Guinevere has sex with Arthur and Lancelot in the same night because she's trying to conceive an heir, and she hasn't been able to conceive with Arthur, so...

[00:24:46] Jane: And Lancelot and her have always had this kind of like weird side

[00:24:49] Etienne: mm-hmm.

[00:24:50] Jane: looking at each other like that, you know. And so she's in bed with both of them, and they're like, "For the, for the good of, for the good of the kingdom, f- for Camelot. Let's do this for 

[00:25:01] Etienne: We shall both fuck her. 

[00:25:03] Jane: Yeah, and I just remember thinking like, "Yes, for Camelot," you know?

[00:25:06] Etienne: For Camelot

[00:25:09] Jane: but that's, yeah, that's, I mean, that's really as close as I ever came. 

[00:25:13] Heidi: So was Arthur on board then, or she's doing it 

[00:25:16] Jane: for Camelot, yeah

[00:25:18] Heidi: Oh, Arthur wasn't... He's like, "Do my wife." 

[00:25:20] Etienne: She said threesome, right? So, or no, I guess it, I guess she didn't actually come right out and say there was a threesome between the three of them, but yeah. I assume there was, though? There 

[00:25:29] Jane: No, there is. They're bo- they're all in bed, they're all in bed together for 

[00:25:32] Etienne: Oh, good.

[00:25:33] Jane: for Camelot. 

[00:25:34] Heidi: Yeah. What movie is this?

[00:25:36] Jane: it's called the,

[00:25:39] Etienne: Heidi's gonna watch it tonight 

[00:25:41] Heidi: want to watch it 

[00:25:41] Jane: Ah, it's called "The Mists of avalon," 

[00:25:45] Etienne: The mists of avalon. Okay 

[00:25:47] Jane: I'm trying to remember 

[00:25:49] Heidi: never heard of 

[00:25:50] Jane: when this came out. Oh my goodness, it was so long ago, you guys, this movie. Like, I feel

[00:25:57] Etienne: In the 80s maybe? I don't know

[00:26:00] Heidi: 90s 

[00:26:00] Jane: Like, "Excalibur" came out in 1981, and that is not this movie. This is different. Same story, same Arthurian legend, but 

[00:26:07] Etienne: Oh yeah, it says 2001 it says. I'm on, 

[00:26:09] Jane: Oh, it is? Okay,

[00:26:10] Etienne: I'm on IMDb. 

[00:26:11] Jane: too long. Okay, so 25 years ago

[00:26:14] Etienne: here. There's two episodes it says. What the f- f? There's 

[00:26:17] Jane: Oh, maybe it was a miniseries?

[00:26:18] Etienne: Yeah, I 

[00:26:19] Heidi: Oh 

[00:26:20] Jane: Oh, 

[00:26:20] Etienne: interesting. And each are two hours long it says. That's intense. 

[00:26:24] Jane: since I've seen it. I do just remember though that they were all in bed together, and like I'm telling you, it's for Camelot.

[00:26:29] Etienne: Yep. Oh, damn. Oh, sh- it's Anjelica Huston, Julianna Margulies, y'all. Anjelica Huston, Julianna Margulies. Who is the guy? Edward-- Arthur's Edward Atterton. Oh, and Lancelot is Michael Vartan. 

[00:26:44] Heidi: It's based on a book there's a book called The Mists of Avalon, so- 

[00:26:49] Etienne: Okay. There's some hot guys and everybody in here. Okay. 

[00:26:52] Jane: There you go 

[00:26:54] Etienne: All right. We're gonna have to watch it now.

[00:26:56] Jane: Yeah. 

[00:26:56] Etienne: and threesome. 

[00:26:58] Jane: I mean, that's as close as I ever came. Well, okay, that's not true. 

[00:27:03] Jane: I did once at a music festival kiss two guys. Like, we just had a make out session

[00:27:07] Etienne: so you and the two guys at the same time were making out,

[00:27:09] Jane: Yes, we were just all making out. They were making out with each other. Like, I dated this guy who was not gay, but did like, sometimes kissing guys, but that was it. That's all he was interested in.

[00:27:20] Etienne: Hmm 

[00:27:21] Jane: And there was one guy in particular that he was friends with, and if the two of them 

[00:27:27] Etienne: Oh 

[00:27:27] Jane: on ecstasy, they were definitely gonna make out. And whatever, he was cute. His name was Will. And so they were just making out at this music festival, and I was like, "Well, if you get to make out with..." And I was 

[00:27:37] Jane: out of my head too, like we were all high. And I was just... So I just remember saying, I'm like, "Hey, if you get to make out with Will, then I should be able to make out with Will, don't you think?" And Will was like, "Yeah." It's, 

[00:27:48] Etienne: Oh my God 

[00:27:50] Jane: it was just the spontaneous thing that happened, and then I did not really enjoy it too much because Will was a terrible kisser 

[00:27:57] Heidi: Oh 

[00:27:57] Etienne: Oh no. How did, how did your boyfriend not tell you beforehand? Like, he's kissed

[00:28:03] Heidi: And, and he likes making out with him?

[00:28:05] Jane: Yeah, but the two of them I guess like, but you know what, I guess it's a chemistry thing. Like the two of them could kiss fine ' cause this guy's mouth was like enormous. I felt like he was trying to eat my face. 

[00:28:14] Etienne: Oh, god

[00:28:15] Jane: like had a mouth that was kind of like a frog.

[00:28:19] Heidi: Oh no 

[00:28:20] Jane: Sorry 

[00:28:20] Etienne: it was so big? Like, did he open it, like, really, was it wide? 

[00:28:24] Jane: like, he was opening it so big. He was like

[00:28:26] Etienne: mean, he could've just kept it a little... You don't have to, like, try to glom, like, completely swallow somebody's face. 

[00:28:33] Jane: We were high, all right? But he was-- And I guess that's what he was just like, you know, "You should also..." And I was like, "I'm opening my mouth as wide as I can. I still cannot accommodate what you're trying to do."

[00:28:44] Etienne: Oh, I've literally never 

[00:28:45] Heidi: Oh 

[00:28:45] Etienne: problem

[00:28:46] Jane: I was just like, "We are..."

[00:28:47] Heidi: Yes 

[00:28:48] Jane: I was like, "We're done here." I'm like, "I tried. I'm just gonna let you guys kiss.

[00:28:52] Jane: I'm just gonna go listen to the music now." But, for a little while, I was just like, "Wow, this is like, you know, this is like a movie. I'm kissing my boyfriend. He's kissing him."

[00:29:01] Etienne: And it would've been hot if like he, the other guy had been a good kisser 

[00:29:05] Jane: they're also, they were both really, really tall. Like, my boyfriend at the time was 6'2", and the other guy was also around the same height.

[00:29:11] Etienne: Oh, 

[00:29:12] Jane: And so they're both having to lean down to take turns kissing me. Very awkward. I'm only five feet tall. This is not ideal. And we're just standing in a field

[00:29:20] Etienne: standing? You should have been sitting down. Like 

[00:29:22] Jane: We're standing because it's a music festival. You can't just be sitting down in the mud, I don't

[00:29:27] Etienne: Oh, okay 

[00:29:28] Jane: And, so that's, that's it. I don't know how long it lasted because, like I said, again, I was high. But we... Then I was just like, "All right. I'm gonna go now. Jane's Addiction's playing." So like, I was just-

[00:29:40] Etienne: Yes, 'cause we know you're gonna see every second of 

[00:29:43] Jane: like, "I can't keep kissing you if Jane's Addiction is playing. That's where I draw the line. But if you guys wanna still keep going, like that's fine, but my 

[00:29:51] Etienne: Have fun, you two. I'll be 

[00:29:52] Jane: Yeah. So that was, uh, I mean, and that's it. That's as close as I ever got to a threesome. I did have a situation where I was asked to be a part of one where I was just like, "What? No." Just because 

[00:30:03] Etienne: Who's that? I 

[00:30:04] Jane: It, 'cause it's one of those things where for me it's fun to think about, but the logistics of it are just, that's just not me. Because I always just feel like, ah, what goes where and who and whatever. This is too complicated and I'm not down for that. It's just like fun in my head. But so, 

[00:30:18] Jane: I was dating this guy named Diego for just a short period of time, and this is like early in the rave scene in New York City, so this all went down very early, it's like 1992.

[00:30:28] Jane: And, I was at a rave and my boyfriend at the time was meeting me there. I couldn't find him, 'cause he lived in New Jersey and I lived on Long Island, and we were meeting at this place in Manhattan. And while I was looking around for Diego, I met this other girl named Janet who was just like this really sweet girl.

[00:30:45] Jane: We were both just dancing near each other and she was just like, "Hi, I really like the way you dance." And I was like, "Thank you. I like your shoes." So we're just talking or whatever, and then I was like, "I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go get some water. Do you want some?" And she was like, "Sure, I'll come with you."

[00:30:57] Jane: So we're just, whatever, instant friends. That's how it works when you're young and at the rave. So we're just going to get water, and then we're sitting, and then we just like kinda went into this room where they were playing more ambient trance type of music and we just had this amazing conversation like from the jump.

[00:31:12] Jane: I was like, "Oh wow, I can really see myself being friends with this girl. She's like really, really cool." And then this guy Diego comes rolling up and she was just like, "Oh, this is my boyfriend, Diego." And I was like, "That's hilarious because I am also dating him." And she was just like, "What?" And I 

[00:31:29] Etienne: What? 

[00:31:30] Jane: What? And he sees the two of us sitting there chatting, and he is like caught, right? 'Cause he's thinking like, "Oh, there's all these people there. I'll just like bounce back and forth between these two." And I just said, "Listen," I was like, "How long have you been dating him?" And I can't remember what her answer was, but it was longer than me, so I was like, "You can have him. I'm good."

[00:31:50] Etienne: Oh. 

[00:31:52] Jane: I was just like, "See ya." But I really liked her, so we had already exchanged numbers and we became friends, and so I went and I hung out with her, just her, like many times. 

[00:32:01] Jane: And then she was just like, "Hey, Diego still thinks you're cute." And I was just like, " what is happening right now?" We were just like hanging out 

[00:32:08] Etienne: So she was still dating Diego? 

[00:32:10] Jane: Oh yeah, she never stopped dating him. Like she dated him for a couple of years. And I was just hanging out with her and then Diego came over and I was just like, "Oh, now this is really awkward," because I don't really wanna see this guy again.

[00:32:25] Jane: And I was in the bathroom, just going to the bathroom, like I overhear them talking about me. Like we were, we had all smoked a joint and so you know how you think like you're being smooth when you're high, but you're totally like broken glass, like you're not smooth at all. So they're trying to talk about how they could get me to like do something with them.

[00:32:43] Jane: And I'm planning my escape in the bathroom. I'm just like, "Okay," like this window opens, there's a fire escape. This was in an apartment, like a walk-up apartment in West New York in New Jersey. And I was like, "I-- if they're insistent about this, I'm just like gonna go..." That was my rationale. I'm like, "I'll just go out the fire escape and just avoid the awkwardness of this situation 

[00:33:03] Etienne: Oh my God.

[00:33:05] Jane: So I'm having trouble, like, getting out 'cause it was a small window, and I'm like, "Oh, this is gonna end in me being really injured." 

[00:33:12] Etienne: Oh my 

[00:33:12] Jane: So I was just like, "I'll just go back out and I'll just tell them like no." 

[00:33:16] Etienne: Oh 

[00:33:18] Jane: So like, so I go back out and they're both sitting on the couch looking super doe-eyed and they're like, "We have something to ask you." And I was just like, "Before you say anything, I just am gonna just politely say I could hear what you were saying in the ba-" I'm like making no eye contact with them.

[00:33:33] Jane: I'm like 19. I'm like, I just don't even know how to have this conversation with them. So I like literally shielded my eyes. I was like, "I just wanna tell you," I'm holding my eyes, my hand over my eyes like a visor, staring at my shoes. I remember my shoes. I was wearing shell-top Adidas.

[00:33:47] Jane: I was looking at my shoes. I was just like, "This is not happening. This is not my life right now where like these two people wanna have a threesome with me. I'm 19 years old. What is going on?" And, I just, I said no. And they were being so cute about it. They're like, "Well, we could just start by..."

[00:34:00] Jane: I'm like, "No." I'm like, "I'm just gonna go get on the PATH train back to the city and go home." And they were like, "No, we could just hang out." So then we went out for like the awkwardest dinner ever. Like we just went to have pizza, and it was just freaking awkward. It was like so the failed, the failed threesome. 

[00:34:17] Etienne: Does that mean you weren't friends with her anymore either after 

[00:34:19] Jane: no, I was still friends with her. 

[00:34:20] Etienne: Oh, okay. Wow. Good 

[00:34:22] Jane: I 

[00:34:22] Etienne: I thought for sure that'd be it. 

[00:34:23] Jane: Yeah, no, no, no. I was just like, "I really like you," but I was like, "Diego's a douche and you should totally break up with him." But, I went to England, and stayed friends with her the whole time. We were pen pals. We wrote letters back and forth, and I was friends with her up until I moved down to South Carolina and we actually both had children.

[00:34:40] Jane: She did end up finally breaking up with him and she married some other guy and she had two beautiful kids, and we just haven't talked. We just lost touch.

[00:34:47] Heidi: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:48] Jane: But, sweet person. Janet, if you're out there, you know I'm talking about you. But I won't say your last name. But yeah, no, she was an amazingly sweet person, just with a douchey guy who really was into some stuff that I don't think that she was really into, that she was just kinda going along with to people please him.

[00:35:06] Jane: I mean, she was very an open and sexual person and that was fine, but I could just tell he was like, he was coercive, you know what I mean? So, you know, if anybody's listening to this and you're thinking like, "Oh, yeah," just remember that everything that Etty and Heidi are talking about was completely consensual and there were discussions ahead of time and boundaries are drawn. 

[00:35:25] Heidi: Yeah. Everybody's on board. Everybody's 

[00:35:28] Etienne: what's happening. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

[00:35:31] Heidi: too.

[00:35:32] Etienne: exactly. Well, I can talk about my second,

[00:35:34] Heidi: Yes. We wanna hear

[00:35:36] Heidi: it. 

[00:35:37] Etienne: my successful threesome. Yes. So, there was one guy that I've seen more than anybody else since I started having sex again since my ex-boyfriend. And he labels himself heteroflexible, which means that he would not wanna have a relationship with a dude, nor would he want to kiss a man, as I found out.

[00:35:57] Etienne: I didn't know that before the threesome. But he's okay with being penetrated by a man. He's okay going down on a man, and I assume reverse too, but I don't know if that happened. So we-- he and I, it was a Saturday night, I started hanging out with him, and we had been having sex all night, and had progressed to anal sex, and then we were doing that for a while.

[00:36:20] Etienne: So I was completely ready for anything else that might have come up. And at one point during the night, he showed me Grindr, and... 'Cause I had never seen Grindr before. I didn't know, like, how it worked or anything. But he showed me how it worked, and literally, the first pictures that you see are the people who are closest to you in location.

[00:36:37] Etienne: Cause I guess Grindr's like, "Dude, we know you wanna fuck somebody, like, now, so let's find you the closest dude that wants to fuck." 

[00:36:43] Heidi: Yeah. Yeah, exactly 

[00:36:45] Etienne: But Jane's shaking her head. That's why I wanna come back as a gay man. Like,

[00:36:52] Jane: I 

[00:36:52] Etienne: do that 

[00:36:53] Jane: dude, just you know what you want. Let's just, just order it. It's like Uber, I guess 

[00:36:58] Etienne: mean, that's what happened. Holy shit, Jane. Like, so, so turns out we found a guy who was bisexual, he said on his, like, little profile, I think. There's literally... Actually, I don't know if there's actual words on the profile. I think we just messaged him, like, "You into guys and girls?" Like, 

[00:37:18] Heidi: Oh my God 

[00:37:18] Etienne: and I mean, we messaged a few people. We were looking at their bodies. We didn't see faces. Most of these don't have... Usually, if you see a face, it's a butter face. But, like, there's some awesome bodies on there, or they're showing off their cocks or whatever. And, I was like, "Yeah, that one and that one, and that." So he's messaging all these people, and the one who got back to us the fastest was actually staying downtown in Charleston.

[00:37:40] Etienne: He was visiting from Vegas, and he's like, "Yeah, I, I'm into guys and girls." And then y- we sent him a picture of, like a live picture, like we'd just taken it, so he could see that it was a live picture of, the guy that I was with, um, with his penis inside my ass. And the guy was like, "Oh, yes, I could do both of you guys, for sure. Do you wanna do this?" And, my guy looks at me and goes, "Do you wanna do this?" 'Cause it was obviously I'm the one that has to agree, like, the most, obviously. And I'm like, " Yeah?" Like, I, I it was more like, "Holy shit, this is what you want. This could actually happen right this fucking second.

[00:38:15] Etienne: Do you actually want it?" And it's kind of like, oh my God, my mind is fucking blown. Like, do I, can I do this right now? And I've been up all night having sex. I haven't slept. It's like 6:00 in the morning at this point. And yeah, and I'm supposed to have all these dates, like that day too, which I was gonna go to without sleep. Yeah, one guy was driving from like two hours away to see me in the afternoon. I just haven't slept. I

[00:38:36] Heidi: Most wanted pussy 

[00:38:38] Etienne: Yeah. I'm like, "Jesus fucking Christ." I'm like, "Do I do this, or do I go home and try to sleep for a few hours before I start my dates for today?" And I'm like, " No, I wanna do this."

[00:38:47] Etienne: I was like, "Yes, yes, let's do this." We ended up negotiating that we were paying for his Uber to come to where we were, and then he was gonna Uber himself back to where he was staying. And I guess he had a limited timeframe, just like I did. I said, "I have to leave by 9:00."

[00:38:59] Etienne: Um, and so he had to leave by 9:00 too, so he had, like, this exact same timeframe, and he had to get his ass over there as fast as possible. So I think the whole thing, like from the time the guy arrived, or yeah, from the guy the time arrived to the time that he left, we had one hour, and part of that was my guy outside talking to him, making sure he wasn't a weirdo, before letting him into the apartment and us starting.

[00:39:21] Etienne: So maybe the actual, actual, like, us naked and doing stuff was maybe 40 minutes. So like, you know, all this time, like, it takes place. We actually had to sit there and, like, say, like, "Hi," and talk to each other before, like, "Let's rip our clothes off and start fucking," you know? Like, it's just awkward. But I mean, we're all sex positive people.

[00:39:39] Etienne: This guy's like 26 or 27 years old, and I found out as I was sitting there talking to him, 'cause the other guy left the room to do something, I don't know, go to the bathroom, whatever. But I was alone with the dude, the bisexual dude- And I'm like, "Oh, well how long has it been since you had sex with a woman?" He's like, "Mm, five years." I'm 

[00:39:59] Heidi: Oh shit

[00:39:59] Etienne: Oh, fuck. You're 27 and it's been five years." Like, I'm thinking in my head, this is not s- nothing I'm saying out loud. I'm just like, that's a long time. Is he actually still bisexual? Like, why is he not having sex with women? He's very attractive. And then he took his clothes off and I'm like, holy shit, that penis is nice.

[00:40:13] Etienne: Like, I was just like... Yeah, so what was really cool about this is that because the two of them were doing stuff to each other too, and the bisexual guy, like he went down on me. Like, I mean, everything was happening. That's when I also found out that my dude didn't wanna kiss the bisexual dude, that that was not okay.

[00:40:32] Etienne: But, but he was okay having the guy stick his dick in his ass, which was odd. I mean, I think I would be more on board with somebody kissing me versus like somebody penetrating me with their body part. But, um, yeah, he was not. But yeah, everything else was happening and, eventually we knew like somebody looked at the time and went, "Oh shit, we only have like 10 more minutes." And I'm like, "Oh my God, we gotta do what we're..." Like, like, "We're, we gotta get done what I... We need to go." I was like, Hurry.

[00:41:01] Heidi: yeah. 

[00:41:02] Etienne: like seriously. 

[00:41:03] Heidi: The main event has 

[00:41:04] Etienne: main event, I think that's what I might've called it, the main event, has to happen. Like that's what we're here for. So he's like, "okay." And I'm like, and I already had agreed ahead of time that my guy was gonna be the one in my ass and not this dude, 'cause I didn't know this dude, and he, with condom or not, I mean which, there was a condom obviously, but I was like, I don't want him in my ass.

[00:41:23] Etienne: Like, besides he was too big, like I don't even know if he would've fit there. Like, we would've had to like stretch out a little bit more before that one. I was worried about him being in my pussy. Ended up being okay, but, and again, I don't know if I've mentioned on the podcast, but I have zero taint.

[00:41:37] Etienne: I don't have a space between my fucking pussy and my ass. They're literally my two sphincters go right up against... Like the bottom of my pussy meets my sphincter of my ass. 

[00:41:47] Etienne: There is no sp- Yeah, so I always thought, "Will I actually be able to do this when I get the chance?" So there was that going on in my head too.

[00:41:56] Etienne: So I climb... The guy's laying o- or he's sitting up on the bed actually. His back is on the headboard of the bed, and I climb up on top of him, get on him, no problem, and then my guy's behind me, and he's angling me 'cause he's trying to get in, but he can't... Like I guess you can't, there has to be a good angle.

[00:42:14] Etienne: I didn't know this. Now I've been paying attention more on porn since this has happened to me. But yeah, the guys do actually angle you a certain way to make sure they can get in properly, 'cause you can't just be like straight up and down when there's already a penis in there. So he had to like push me forward, so I got pushed like down more and my ass lifted up a little bit, and then he could get in.

[00:42:33] Etienne: And yes, it was successful. I did, I w- I thought that felt amazing. It did not feel like too much. I was also thinking it was gonna be like too much of a feeling, too much of a, you know, over- not overwhelming, but like it was just too much. Like you imagine it might actually be painful, and it wasn't painful because I'd already been having anal sex for at least an hour before, you know, during the night.

[00:42:57] Etienne: And, I was completely open in that sense, and that's the penis that was been inside of me for an hour. So it was fit in there no problem. It was just the other one which that ended up fitting in there okay as well, or perfectly or y- a little bit extra, but that was great. So no, it was good. I would like...

[00:43:14] Etienne: But again, time constraints. We're like, "We have to go." Like, 

[00:43:17] Etienne: so it's um, I think the guy ended up, my guy behind me didn't finish during the DP, but the dude that I was on top of did. So when he came, like we just stopped because, you know, like we have to go. 

[00:43:33] Heidi: Yeah. 

[00:43:34] Etienne: So I just want 

[00:43:35] Jane: Wrap it up 

[00:43:36] Etienne: And again, 

[00:43:37] Etienne: I'm on Feeld now, which I will gladly give them advertisement for free that,

[00:43:42] Heidi: I just learned about Feeld. 

[00:43:45] Etienne: It's a very sex positive app, to meet people. And you basically tell everybody what your, how you label yourself and what you're into, your main interests. I mean, I was trying to click way more than it let me, and it was saying, "No, I can't."

[00:43:59] Heidi: I know. Why? Why? 

[00:44:01] Etienne: I was like, "Why are you limiting me? Fuck."

[00:44:02] Heidi: only gives you 10. Like, why not let me fill it all out? 

[00:44:06] Etienne: But I'm seeing a lot of people, and I don't know if it's just because what I said I'm interested in, but I'm seeing a lot of men or have matched with a lot of men who are interested in male, male, female or male, female, male or actually on Feeld they only list it one way.

[00:44:19] Etienne: But somebody told me that it does make a difference. So if we were saying male, female, male that the two men are not expected to be doing anything with each other.

[00:44:28] Heidi: Yeah 

[00:44:28] Etienne: But if it's male, male, female that that means that the men could be doing things with each other possibly and that they're okay with it. You know, I mean, obviously all of this requires communication and conversation before and consent during if anything comes up where you haven't talked about it.

[00:44:44] Etienne: You want to make sure everybody is okay with whatever's happening, and that's what happened during this threesome especially because we fucking didn't know this dude at all. Um, but, I felt completely comfortable. He was totally sweet. Didn't like, you know, he asked before doing anything if it was okay.

[00:44:59] Etienne: I mean, literally like, "Can I go down?" I'm like, "Yes." Like and then when he found out that my guy didn't wanna kiss him I was like, "You can kiss me," and I was like it was just so funny and so funny and delightful and a great experience. And yeah, so I am definitely looking forward to the next time I get to do this because I think there will be more in the future, and I'm looking forward to it. Yeah.

[00:45:23] Heidi: That's amazing. That, that gives... Yeah. 

[00:45:26] Etienne: That gives you hope? Is that what you...

[00:45:27] Heidi: Yeah. That's so inspiring

[00:45:29] Etienne: think it's just like, especially Feeld, like you immediately know. And you can have through conversations when you meet somebody, find out how sex positive they are. Like, are they just on here to get casual sex, or are they actually sex positive? There is a difference, and I think I define sex positivity as the men and the women are expecting to get the same out of the sex, and they want each other to get the same out of a sexual experience. Like, the men aren't looking down on the women because they wanna have sex. It should be, "No, we're all gonna have sex. We're all gonna have a good time. Everybody is just a human being having sex and enjoying themselves." And that's how I define sex positivity. Like, we're equals. We're equals in sex, and that's how it should be.

[00:46:12] Etienne: So I think you can weed out the bad apples, the ones who just found out about it and shouldn't have because they're not actually, you know, people that are on the sexual spectrum of like, you know, do we have kinks or fetishes or things that we wanna do that's not acceptable in the norms of US sexuality, you know? So especially in like Christianity US sexuality. But yeah, so that is my positive experience.

[00:46:36] Heidi: Well, I think we ended on like the happiest note

[00:46:41] Jane: 100%. Everything was consensual. Everybody got what they wanted, and you have the biggest smile on your face, Etty, 

[00:46:47] Etienne: I know. It was, I'm s- so I wanna do it again. No, that was a great experience. After having the failed one, it was like, mm, you know? And especially when he told me he'd been five years being with a woman, I'm like, "Oh, God. Is he even gonna be hard to, like, even go anywhere on me?" Like, no, he was hard. It was fine.

[00:47:06] Etienne: I think he actually said at one point, like, "Oh, your pussy's so beautiful." I'm like, "Okay, great. That if you just wanna put things in me, that's all, that's all I need you to be able to do. If you like the way it looks, that's great." 

[00:47:19] Jane: No, I think that's... I mean, listen, compliments are compliments. I think it's-- And everybody, everybody had a good time and got what they wanted 

[00:47:30] Etienne: Yeah, and he took his Uber back and had probably the best weekend ever and tried... He didn't want his friends to know what he was off doing too. I think he was pretending he was off getting coffee. That's why he could only be gone for, like, an hour.

[00:47:41] Jane: Best 

[00:47:41] Heidi: Oh my God, that's perfect

[00:47:43] Etienne: ever. 

[00:47:44] Jane: And they all lived happily ever

[00:47:45] Etienne: Oh

[00:47:48] Heidi: And that's our show. You've been listening to The Women Are Plotting. If you have a story you'd like to share or have any comments, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at info@thewomenareplotting.com. And of course, you can find us on all the socials. Thanks, and until next time, be safe and be excellent to each other