Should You Hire Your Fraternity Brother as Your Realtor?

Should you use a friend, family member, or fraternity brother as your real estate agent? In this episode of Ladies Who List, Chicago real estate agents Hayley Westhoff and Anna Theofanous break down why choosing the right agent matters more than loyalty when buying or selling a home.

They explain how local market expertise, professional presentation, and strong negotiation skills can directly impact whether your offer is accepted, especially in competitive multiple-offer situations. From accessing off-market opportunities to understanding seller priorities, this episode highlights the behind-the-scenes strategies experienced agents use to help clients win homes and avoid costly mistakes.

You will hear real examples of deals lost due to poor representation, why sellers often choose offers for reasons beyond price, and how communication, responsiveness, and professionalism influence the outcome of a transaction. Hayley and Anna also share the key questions buyers and sellers should ask before hiring an agent and why interviewing an agent is essential even when that agent is a friend or relative.

If you are feeling pressure to work with someone you know, wondering how to choose the right real estate agent, or want to understand what truly makes an agent effective, this episode delivers practical guidance to help you protect one of the biggest financial decisions of your life.

Transcript

0:00

(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Welcome to our podcast, Ladies Who List, where we give you the inside scoop on navigating the Chicago real estate market. I'm your host, Haley Westhoff. I'm Ana Theofanis. And today we are going to dive into the topic of, should you use your fraternity brother as your realtor? Because let's be honest, we all know a realtor, whether it's your aunt, your mom, your friend's mom, you know, your frat brother, they all have their licenses and they all want your business. Exactly. And it's really overwhelming. I mean, you feel this sense of obligation. And I understand that too. I was a buyer before I was a realtor and you feel like you gotta use your aunt Loretta who has their real estate license, who works five hours a week and lives an hour and a half away. It is truly one of the biggest financial decisions you can make. And really, buyers should be using someone who's gonna get the job done right and not someone that they feel like they have a sense of loyalty to. Exactly. Yeah, this is the biggest mistake people make. You hire your aunt Loretta and then six months down the road, you realize that she was not the best fit for where you're looking and now you've made a terrible decision on the biggest investment of your life. I think buyers don't realize it until they've lost out on maybe their fifth home that they're like, oh, maybe my aunt Loretta doesn't really know what she's doing. And then it's too late. Right. And on both sides of the deal, you want someone as your buyer's agent that works in that market day in and day out. And as a listing agent, you need somebody that specializes in that area. I can't tell you and I'm sure you have too how many times I have had buyers call me and say, you know, I feel really bad. I'm working with my friend, my uncle. And we're just not feeling like they have the value that we need. And we're seeing all of our coworkers find off-market properties and they've never sent us one. So I think, unfortunately, they don't realize it until it's too late. So let's talk specifics. As buyers, if you're working with somebody that's not in your market, you might be missing out on off-market listings. So yes, while we have access to some as any agent on our platforms, there are true off-market listings that you and I have access to in the city that somebody who works in the North Shore may not know about. I know you, Ana is literally calling sellers that don't even have their place on the market for her buyers. And I do the same. So it's that extra level of finding opportunities for buyers that buyers really deserve. And maybe your uncle or aunt Loretta does do that for you. And if so, that's great, but most agents don't do that. And like we were talking about before, multiple offer situations, those are really complex. I mean, an agent does one mistake in that and you ruin it for your buyer. So an agent that really knows what terms to offer, what levers to pull, when to push back, when to let off, those things are so important and it really takes skill. And just because someone has their real estate license doesn't mean that they have those skills. Oh, a hundred percent. I had an offer on a listing recently where it was the best offer. It was the highest offer, but it was a disaster. It came in five different emails. It was so unorganized. And I was like, this is the beginning of our transaction together. What kind of agent are we going to be working with? And it was a friend of theirs, of course, who didn't come to the showings. So those types of situations, we ended up going with another offer that was much more buttoned up. So it isn't just about the terms. It's also about presentation and professionalism. Absolutely. I mean, when you have five offers and the prices are pretty similar and the terms are fairly similar, I mean, are you going to go with the offer, like you said, that came in five different pieced emails? Or are you going to go with the one with the agent who really put thought and time and presented it professionally? Because that is an indication of how the rest of the transaction is going to go. Exactly. Another part about multiple offers is reading the room, right? Understanding the seller's needs, calling the listing agent, and really knowing what each seller is looking for because they're not all looking for the same thing, right? That is exactly right. And I think that extra step that the buyer's agent takes to make that phone call and ask what's important to the seller, maybe look the seller up and learn a little bit about them and know how to appeal to them is really important. I like to tell this story and I usually don't tell who it's about, but maybe I will. I once had a seller who probably my only seller where price was not the number one priority. This seller had a particular priority, which was accepting an offer without a mortgage contingency. What? Yes. He said he could not sleep at night until we were through attorney review. And he was less concerned about the price. He did not want an offer without a mortgage contingency and he was willing to accept a lot less for that term. And, you know, it turned out that we got a buyer and that was just a requirement for him. They did pay a lower price because of it, but that was what the seller wanted. And I will tell you that seller was my father. Oh my gosh. Sorry, dad. But yeah, I mean, not all sellers care about price. Some just want closing date. They just, it's their own. Yeah, we had a sentimental seller. I don't know if you remember this, who accepted an offer because they liked the love letter and they wanted a family and they just connected to the buyer. So if you know that the seller's been living there maybe for over a decade and they're super attached to the home, then maybe you do a love letter for your buyers. And that seller accepted a lower offer because they were so emotionally attached to the home and they really cared about the buyer. Another thing that I think buyers overlook is just how the experience is gonna go. I mean, some buyers are looking over the course of a year or more and your agent might be the first phone call you make in the morning and the last phone call you make before you go to bed. And it's truly like a marriage. So, you know, just because your mom's friend is a realtor, you really have to think that this is going to be a partnership for a really long time. It's so true. And communication too is everything when you're working with a realtor. You want somebody that's going to be on it. If you want to see a place, especially in this market, they need to be responsive and communicative and professional, you know, showing up on time to your showings, showing up professional, not in sweatpants. About a month ago, I was at one of my listings and in walks the buyers. The girlfriend has her full Lululemon yoga gear and a ponytail. And I said, you know, is your agent joining? And she said, I am the agent. And it was very clear that they were either together or friends and turned out to be a multiple offer situation. And he really wanted it. And they lost because that agent did not know the right levers to pull. They did not put the terms that the seller cared about. That's a really good example of how someone lost a place that they loved. Exactly, we see it all the time. Yeah, so if Uncle Joe is not checking these boxes, I think it's time to start doing your homework. Ask around, ask your neighbors, ask your friends, your coworkers, look online on online testimonials. Exactly, you should be reading the reviews, looking at their statistics. Are they selling in your market? What have they sold? What price point? And if you're looking for multifamilies, maybe don't work with somebody that only does single family homes. That's important. And interview your agent. Even if you know them, I know that sounds crazy, but you should also make sure you align on your goals. So it's still important to have those interviews. Especially if you're working with someone because they're a friend, because they're a relative, because they're your mom's neighbor. Those are the people you really should interview because if you're getting to them just through that relationship, you're not getting to them because they're an expert. You're getting to them because someone knows them or you know them. So it's even more important in those situations to interview your agent. I totally agree. So yeah, some questions that you can ask. How long have you been an agent and is it your full-time job? I mean, as you and I know, some agents do two deals a year. Maybe they have their license, but it's not really being an agent. Another one would be, what is your experience at this price point and neighborhood? What is your availability like? Do you stop at five o'clock or are you seven days a week like us? And ultimately, what's your process? Especially if it's a team, you wanna know who's gonna be meeting me and who's gonna be negotiating the deal for me and what's our communication plan? So those are just some of the questions that you should be asking your agent. And beyond that, they should also have connections within that pocket that you're looking in, right? Like great inspectors, contractors, people to help you along the transaction once you actually do get into contract, that's so important too. Another thing I feel like a lot of buyers don't realize or sellers is that we can always do a referral deal with their aunt or their cousin and we can refer business back to them. If they don't work in that market, we can still support their business and let them know you haven't forgotten about them while still getting an expert in the area that you're looking at. I agree. And in a lot of cases where buyers have contacted me in this situation, I have offered their uncle or fraternity brother or friend a referral fee so that feelings aren't hurt and everybody wins and that's worked out really well. So at the end of the day, uncle Joe is probably not gonna be the perfect fit, but sometimes your uncle Joe or your sorority sister, they do happen to have the relationship with you. They're a good agent. They're an expert. They're great at what they do. They have all this market insight and they know the neighborhood and price point that you're working in. If that happens, you just hit the jackpot because that's perfect. You have this relationship with this person and they're good. So there are rare cases where that does happen, but if that's not the case, you might want to start looking for an agent who's truly a good fit for you, whether or not you have that relationship with them. And that's a wrap. Thank you so much for joining Chicago Real Estate Unfiltered. I am your host, Haley Westhoff. I'm Anathia Faunus. Please like or share this with someone that might be caught in this situation. See you next time.