Show Me The Baby
Short and sweet tips on parenting, health and wellness, organization, leadership and life skills from a mother and small business owner who wants to help others navigate life's challenges.
Show Me The Baby
Episode 23: A Reason, A Season or a Lifetime
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this episode my oldest daughter shares her insights on why people and animals come into our lives. As I introduce the episode and defer to her, she takes the reins in a way that shows how intuitive she is. I am so lucky to have her and her sister as my daughters. They are gifts to my life.
To learn more about me and to purchase my book that shares all of my tips about parenting, wellness, leadership, and life skills, visit www.kristynlee.com
Welcome to the Show Me the Baby podcast. This is your host, Kristen Lee. I am here to share and expand on topics outlined in my book, Show Me the Baby. Short and sweet tips on parenting, wellness, organization, leadership, and life skills.
SPEAKER_02Why show me the baby? My lifelong friend and mentor never had the patience for lengthy explanations. His mantra was don't tell me about the birth, show me the baby. What I am sharing are brief to-the-point lessons that I have learned, advice that I was given, or information gathered from others. I want to share my experiences to assist you in navigating parenting and life. The episodes are based on some of the subjects covered in my book and are unscripted, sometimes going in a direction that wasn't planned, but I think makes them more interesting.
SPEAKER_01My goal is to expand on each theme, keeping in the Show Me the Baby way in 15 minutes or less. For a complete list of all the topics I discuss, you can purchase my book, ShowMeTheBaby, at Amazon.com. For more information about me and a link to purchase, go to my website, Kristen Lee.com. That's K-R-I-S-T-Y-N-L-E-E.com.
SPEAKER_00Summer is over the water. I swam on the woman.
SPEAKER_02Hello, this is Kristen Lee, and this is the Show Me the Baby podcast. Today I welcome my eldest daughter, Ava Kay. Hello. Welcome. Glad to be welcome back. Yes, it's been a bit. It's been a while. It has. You've been a working girl and not available to podcast with me. Nope. But today I am. Today you are. I made you. Yes. I coerced you. Um Ava and I talked earlier about the topics in the book. Many of them she knows very well because I have spoken them about them throughout your entire life. Haven't I? You have. The topic today that we and I, we and I, you and I decided to talk about, you picked it. A reason, a season, or a lifetime. We're going to talk about what that means to us. It's probably very self-explanatory, but I think sometimes people don't consider it. And and I'll start let I I'm going to turn it to you. What do you think? Reason, season, lifetime. Can you give me an example of someone who is in your life without saying names, just you know, unless you want to, unless it's uh okay to do, I guess. I never like calling somebody out, you know. But can you think of a reason someone was in your life and the why?
SPEAKER_00I think I want to start out with what that statement means to me, because as I've gotten older, it's stuck with me more, and I find myself repeating it to others a lot. So I think just a reason for somebody to be in your life, like you stated in the book, it's almost like souls helping each other, or you learn from another person. And when that mission is completed, that's the reason. So they move on. And I think I've met a lot of different people in my lifetime that, you know, we learn from each other, we grow, and then we don't talk ever again. And not that it ended badly, but just that we went separate ways, and that was the reason. There was something we had to learn. And it's over then, really, for the most part. For the most part. Yeah. And I think we've both gone through a lot of lessons in relationships. And I think this can apply to listeners or people that are going through a lesson right now. I think a lot of them are predetermined, the lessons in our lifetime. And I think our soul chooses what we need to learn and grow from. And if it's, you know, not a very nice person that enters your life, there's a lesson in that that I think you carry into your lifetime relationships. So very true. And I think lifetime is pretty explanatory.
SPEAKER_02So well, I and I think I'll say this from my own experience. Throughout my life, I felt like when somebody important to me be, you know, entered my life, important and it was a good relationship meaning, meaning it would, you know, it wasn't teaching me something that, well, it's I think I'm always learning, which is I I think important to always be learning and being open. But when I would be in this, you know, I can't even, I'm gonna, I'm trying to think of a specific one, but I thought, especially years ago, that if I met someone, they'd always be in my life. Like if we had a great relationship and we bonded, connected, that that person would always be there. And again, as I've gotten older, I've realized just what you said that that person was meant just to be in your life for those that short amount of time for the lesson. Or do you helping that person, that her person helping you, or even if it's a negative, yeah, a negative, there's learning in that too. There's learning in that too. And and looking back, I can think of relationships that um, you know, that they went by the wayside and I missed some of them, but it it just was again met for that moment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I think too, like in the journey of life, we have to learn everything dies. And that's really morbid, but when a person craves love, like we all inherently do, I think it's normal for somebody to come into your life and you think, oh, they're always gonna be there. And it's not always that. No.
SPEAKER_02I just this is so very interesting you picked this topic because this morning I was on the phone with um with a customer of mine, and we were talking about somebody we both know who recently had passed away and not the best, you know, not the greatest. Well, I mean, when anybody passes away, it was a traumatic, yes, it was traumatic, it was unexpected. And it wasn't that he was um, you know, necessarily young, he's older than me, but it just was unexpected. And she and I were just talking about how we it was ended up being a kind of a deep conversation that that we are all born, and as soon as we're born, we are headed to death. I mean, you are, and and and every death is different, whether, you know, and I she and I were talking about, you know, the death of you know, when young people die, like children die, how hard that, you know, how how hard that is. And even if, you know, somebody's in there, you know, somebody close to me, show me the baby. He was 63 or 64, which is still pretty, in my mind, young. But that when it's your time, it's your time, I think.
SPEAKER_00Everybody thinks differently about it, but and I was just also listening to a podcast with Teresa Caputo, the Long Island Medium. Yes. And she talked about that and you know, a soul's journey and how a lot of our deaths are predetermined, and when it's our time, it's our time. And some people or souls choose, you know, the long extended deaths to where, you know, the family gets time to grieve and they know they're dying, and then other souls choose suddenly go. So I I choose for suddenly, just so you know. And I want cremated. Don't don't waste money burying me. Don't put you in a box. Don't put that freaks me out.
SPEAKER_02You know what I want. I want to be propped up. No! Propped up like a funeral pyre. I think it was called a funeral pyre, where you're you're put on like a like a plank or raft and you're put out under the water and you're set on fire. And then wouldn't that be kind of cool? There was some movie. I want that actually, yeah. And we have a pond. And I said, I could be in the pond. That's like catfishing. Yeah. I don't know. It's just there's something ceremonial to me about that, and about, I mean, it is kind of a obviously it's a it's cremation. I mean, it's what it is, just in a in a very more open setting with water. Yes, not in an oven. Anyway, that's all right. No, no, no. We we get on tangents. Your eyebrows look beautiful, by the way. Ava's sitting across from me, and yeah, they're very like they didn't do anything, just some gel. Oh they oh well they look they have pretty shape. Um so back to reason season or a lifetime. I think I I I do think we I and I think I'm I'm gonna go a tangent. Yeah, a little bit. I I because I think when we're talking about the lifetime too, it's that's you have no control over that lifetime, meaning the person being here on earth with us. So I feel like the people that are really close to me, even though the ones who have passed on, that still is my lifetime. I mean, I I they're with me and around me, and I feel, you know, I can feel I can feel it. And you know, I can and so those those bonds I don't think ever leave even in death. The lifetime ones.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I agree.
SPEAKER_02And I mine better never leave you or I will haunt you.
SPEAKER_00So that you're she's a helicopter mom. So well. She's gotten better.
SPEAKER_02Well, you've gotten older. You've gotten older. You know, I was I I have been always very protective because she is. I must have had a sense about things, you know. And I interrupted you what you were gonna say.
SPEAKER_00Well, I guess I mean this book, you've been surrounded by, you know, a lot of relationships that you've had ended suddenly by death. And I don't want to make you go into that, but I think it's shaped you into who you are. A very intuitive, deep thinker. And I think that is the case for a lot of people too, whether you realize it or not, or you don't want to face it or think about it right now, but it does shape us, and we come here for a reason, and people are in our lives for a reason, a season in our lifetime. Very true, very true.
SPEAKER_02And and we talked about reason, we've talked about lifetime. What what would the season mean? What's a season mean to you?
SPEAKER_00I view it as like a semester in college. Okay. Like the friends you meet for one semester in a class that you have like a good bond with, you do a project together, you might have their number, or like in my case, follow them on Instagram and you watch them from afar, but you're not gonna text them every day, or maybe you never talk at all. But it was during like the season of college or the season of yeah, and and like a volleyball teammate, or I have I have a lot of seasons that I'm still connected to, but I wouldn't call it a lifetime connection. Correct.
SPEAKER_02But it wasn't, it wasn't necessarily well, some of it was would be for a reason because you run a college, you know, let's say you were doing a report together, but yes, the season of college or the season of your volleyball career, those kind of those kind of seasons. Yeah. Um, but again, I think it's just the perspective that I think you at a young age already have and appreciate that, you know, the the the people in your life aren't necessarily gonna be in your life forever. Yeah, forever. And I am nostalgic about certain times of my life, about when, you know, there were groups of people around me, and I had, and you've said this to me, how much fun I used to not that I don't have fun now.
SPEAKER_00She is a lot, we're both Geminis, by the way.
SPEAKER_02Yes, Daphne, who I've interviewed before, we call ourselves Gemini twins because we think we're a very similar age. And we were, we talked about this on the podcast. I don't know if you heard it, but we were born in the same hospital, same hospital, um I six or seven days apart. Oh wow. So there could have been a very good chance that our mothers were in this the hospital at the same time, and it's a small, you know, we're in a small town, it was a small hospital, but anyway, so we can be Gemini triplets, you, me, and Daphne, because we're all very similar. Um now I've lost my train of thought. Sorry I interrupted. No, that's okay, that's okay. Um, you said Gemini lifetime. Oh, fun. I started to say, you know, there, and not that I don't have fun now, but years ago, when my circumstances of my life were different, I was surrounded by more people every day, where now I'm just not as much. But that was a season. And I think when it was happening, I really thought it was a lifetime. I thought it would, you know, those were gonna be lifetime relationships, and then they they change. Yeah. And so you just don't know what the lifetime relationships are gonna be. I mean, you you hope with you know, fam people in your family that you're connected to that those are the life, you know, lifelong lifetime relationships, but not always. Not always, you know, not all families are close. I mean, yeah, I feel like we are close, but it doesn't mean, you know, whoever else is in your family you're gonna be super close with. Because I think sometimes as I was growing up too, that I just assumed that if I was biologically related to someone that that was gonna be a close relationship or a a life season, reason, lifetime, lifetime, lifetime, yeah. So what do you how do you feel animals fit into this? Do you think it's similar as people?
SPEAKER_00Yes, because we are both very big animal animal lovers, which I I know because I feel like we have soul connections with all of our animals, so it might be a season like you had with Rosie, but you know, I don't really think anything is a lifetime with animals because it's only their lifetime, and that makes me sad to think about. But I know so in a case, yeah, it would be lifetime for them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But but at the same time, you could have an animal that I was thinking about this, a reason. You know, um, you find a stray dog, and the re and then you have to find the owner, you know, there's a reason you know, to connect that that stray animal back with their owner, or a season, like you said, I had a I had a a dog that um I adopted and she was about four, but I only had her two years, and I think she was sick when I got her, but but that was a season, although, although it was the season with her, but she was like a lifetime dog. Like I feel like she is still around me. Like I think so too. Yeah, and I I don't and I can't say I feel that I have felt that. I mean, I've had a lot of animal, especially dog dogs, and we've talked dogs and horses, you know this, but there are just certain ones. I don't think it's all of them that you have that lifetime.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think it's that soul connection that that is your soul animal, and you were meant to have them in this lifetime. Yes. And not that you weren't meant to have others, but just that feeling. I know what you're talking about. And I also think horses too, like Didi. Mm-hmm. I mean, if you and Hayden wouldn't have bought her, what do you think would have happened? I I think she would be dead. Yeah. I think so too.
SPEAKER_02I think that every day. Yeah. Because she just and I'll never, and you were not with us, but I remember when we went to look go look for a horse. I had selected, she and I, Hayden and I had selected several that we wanted to ride and try. And she was not one of the, she was not even on the list to look at. There was a book with pictures, and and we went to a a college that had a sale, and they trained these horses. So it's a it was a actually a fundraiser, I think, for the college, but they had a horse program. I looked at her, Dee Dee, across she was in the arena, and I looked across and I saw her eye and she looked at me, and I looked at Hayden and I pointed to Didi and I said, Look at that one. And I quickly looked her up in the book, and she was nothing would I nothing if you if you want to place an order for something, she would not have been on the list. She was young, she was a mayor, and mayors are just different. Yeah, what would you say the difference between a a female and a male horse? Bossy temperament, temperament, temperament, temperament, yeah. And so so a mare was not on my list, even though my horse before was a mare, but I digress. Anyway, yes, I saw it was the look in her eye, and then I said to Hayden, look at her look at this horse, and and Hayden felt it too, like we both felt it. And then I rode her because Hayden didn't want to, you know, it was crowded, and I think she just didn't want to, you know. But I rode her, and that was it, like we knew, but um no, I don't, I don't, I mean, she could have ended up with someone caring in kind. I don't want to say no, but she's very high maintenance, as you know, and is very hard to keep. I don't know how else to say it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she she's accident prone, let's say that. And she's she's fiery. I I think she really is. Like I watch her in blue and I'm like, she is full of fire. Yes, she really is. It takes a special person, and I think you were meant to by her.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I agree, I agree, but I feel sorry for your horse because he gets bossed around. He does. Anyway, so yeah, so I I again it can go it it it can it can be people relationships, animal, animal relationships, and the people relationship can be family, can be work, can be um acquaintances, acquaintances, can be love interests. And didn't even go there. No, we didn't. We didn't, but I think I think I think for us, yeah, I mean I in the big picture, it is all of the relationships and a love relationship. I mean, I I mean my friendships are love relationships, you know, marriages, you hope, are love relationships. You do, and and and boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other or whatever. But I um I think it's the perspective again of looking at things at life that you know, if if a relationship goes by the wayside, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Because I think I again I've talked to a lot of people over the years who just feel that loss. And even in in in even in death, as hard and difficult and sad that death is, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. And it doesn't mean you don't grieve, but I I feel really sorry for people who can't ever get over it. Yeah. Because that's sad because they're never, you know, if you can't get over a death, you are not living.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I agree. I don't know. And I think that's a soul's journey too. So if they're meant to learn a lesson in this lifetime, with death being one of them, they're gonna have to relearn it in the next lifetime. And I know that's hard, but I think death is such an intimate factor of life that if it's not accepted, it just follows you. And that sounds really morbid too, but it'll it attaches to your soul because of something of that grief and level. Yeah, like that's soul altering. So it may not be in this lifetime that they can get over it.
SPEAKER_02That's very true, because why why can some people handle it better than others? And it's just like we're saying, kind of in the growth and the learning and the the to get through it. But again, I mean, some people just can't accept when somebody passes, and that's that's and it's to me, it's not I mean, it's all sad. But if but if you don't learn from it and you don't move on, then you're dwelling in it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's how I mean, but well, exactly how you said it, then you're not living your life. And even if it's not death or it's a traumatic relationship where there's abuse involved or anything of that nature, people can get stuck in that too, you know? And some people can move on with their lives and get over it, and other people can't.
SPEAKER_02So they or they circle back and do the same thing with someone else. Yeah, that happens a lot. I see it a lot, I've seen it with friends, and um, you know, just I'm connected to a lot of people, whether it's through my work or through friendships, which overlap a lot, but it is, it's that cycle of they get stuck in that the feeling of that relationship, yeah, and then they get pulled in again by by a very similar person that has, you know, not the same person, but a lot of the same characters because it's familiar. Yeah. That's often why it is, because it's comfortable, familiar. And then when the, you know, when the problems arise, it's already the person's pretty deep into it, unfortunately.
SPEAKER_00But and that's another lesson. So I think we all have different lessons to learn in this life, whether it's death relationships or all of the above. So we all have something to learn and learn from each other. Very true.
SPEAKER_02Thank you for coming to talk on this session, this episode of Show Me the Baby. Thank you for having me. So it went too far. No, that that's the fun of this. It's unscripted. We go on different tangents and and you know, because it's all connected, it's all life connected. And and my feeling is if somebody can learn something or think, oh, I never thought of it that way. And feel better or laugh. It was a good episode.
SPEAKER_00I agree.
SPEAKER_02Come back sooner next time. Thank you for listening to the Show Me the Baby podcast, and I hope you join me again for another episode.
SPEAKER_01My book, Show Me the Baby, is available at Amazon.com. To learn more about me and a link to order, visit my website, kristinlee.com. That's K-R-I-S-T-Y-N L E E.com.