Show Me The Baby
Short and sweet tips on parenting, health and wellness, organization, leadership and life skills from a mother and small business owner who wants to help others navigate life's challenges.
Show Me The Baby
Episode 29: The Cream Rises to the Top
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What a fun episode this was to record! While I wish she could have joined me in my podcast studio, I was happy to have my BFF and Fairy Godmother to my daughters, Holly, call in remotely to chat.
Throughout life we all face challenges, some more difficult than others. Having faith and belief in ourselves will help us rise above. As my Show Me the Baby mentor said over and over to me from childhood into adulthood, "the cream rises to the top."
Welcome to the Show Me the Baby podcast. This is your host, Kristen Lee. I am here to share and expand on topics outlined in my book, Show Me the Baby. Short and sweet tips on parenting, wellness, organization, leadership, and life skills. Why Show Me the Baby? My lifelong friend and mentor never had the patience for lengthy explanations. His mantra was don't tell me about the birth, show me the baby. What I am sharing are brief, to-the-point lessons that I have learned, advice that I was given, or information gathered from others. I want to share my experiences to assist you in navigating parenting and life. The episodes are based on some of the subjects covered in my book and are unscripted, sometimes going in a direction that wasn't planned, but I think makes them more interesting. My goal is to expand on each theme, keeping in the Show Me the Baby way in 15 minutes or less. For a complete list of all the topics I discussed, you can purchase my book, ShowMeTheBaby, at Amazon.com. For more information about me and a link to purchase, go to my website, kristenlee.com. That's K-R-I-S-T-Y-N-L-E-E.com. Hello, this is Kristen Lee, and this is the Show Me the Baby Podcast. Today, for the first time, I am welcoming my dear friend Holly, who is joining me on the podcast. She's not in my podcast room how I wish you were, but you're doing it remotely, so thank you very much for doing this. Welcome to your show.
SPEAKER_01Welcome, Chris. I'm so happy to join you today.
SPEAKER_00I'm so excited. I yeah, I am too. I listened back to some of the podcasts and I'm always going, yay! I'm like, oh well, I guess that's I guess that's I guess that's my signature Kristen Lee tone. Well, before before listeners know we do not, you know, we chat briefly about what topics we might do, but we don't plan these. They're unscripted. So before we started the episode, we talked about the topic. And the topic from the book we're going to talk about is the cream rises to the top. That's great. Yeah. And I'll give just an example because my show me the baby mentor, who you also knew, would say to me, um, he was part of my life from the time I was seven until I was almost, well, he he died almost eight years ago. So, you know, until my late, I don't do the math, late 40s, he was alive. So he was a part of my life for a very long time, close to 40 years. But his spirit lives on. The spirit lives on. He is always with me. But I feel like in, you know, so he has seen me through, like, I think about it, through, you know, boyfriends in high school, college, my first marriage, having my girls, just life. And he he saw me. I will say this, he's one of the people, probably one of the only people who saw me consistently at my best and at my worst. And at my worst, he would, and he called me Missy, he would say, when I was down, he'd say, Missy, the cream always rises to the top. And I didn't really know what that meant. I had to think about it. And then, and then obviously I was younger when he said it, but it what does that mean to you? The cream rises to the top.
SPEAKER_01Those are words of wisdom right there. That means if you believe in yourself, and you whether you feel that you're if if you sense that something is wrong that is suspicious, that the cream always rises to the top. The truth will be told. Yes. Um, that that it when you whatever you believe or you manifest eventually it comes to the surface, everything comes to the surface. Yeah. The truth comes to the surface. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think it's too, and and the and and our there was a little glitch in the in the sound, so I apologize if it's gonna probably still be there, but there was a little glitch. But anyway, I think it's I think about being resilient. Like I think I think that in those moments when life can be hard, you know. We know, you and I both know. We do. Sometimes it's not a box of chocolates.
SPEAKER_01No, no, life is not a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump would say.
SPEAKER_00No, not always. Sometimes there's some, I don't know, what's the thing?
SPEAKER_01We would like it to be, but it doesn't always we would like it to be, but it doesn't always work out that way.
SPEAKER_00And I think I think it's such a good lesson for um, and I will say, Holly is known to my girls as your her their fairy godmother. And I love those girls like if they were my own. Yeah. So so I think you and I, you know, we, you know, we've been friends forever, but we you have helped me along the way. I will say this when, you know, when I face challenges being a mother, I would call you and you would talk me through it. You would talk me through it because it was like being, yeah, the cream rises. And whether it's you're in a bad in a bad situation with family, with a relationship, with work, if you know you are doing the right thing, just like you said, it eventually will work itself out. But there does they're gonna be downtimes. That's just the way life is.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and and at those times you don't always believe it will, but it does. It is in its own way. The universe works its way in the right direction. It works its way out. You just have to have faith. Yep, that's it. You have to believe. You have to believe, and you have to think positive. And you can't control everything in life, but it will in in the end work its way out in the direction it's supposed to go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think that's very true. But in those moments, isn't it hard to sometimes it's just really hard, even when you know it, it it you have to ride. Like, I feel like I have to remind I do, I definitely have to remind myself. You know, self-talk, you know, self-talk, self-talk, and just keep talking to yourself.
SPEAKER_01No, you I I have learned that you have to not listen to your subconscious and listen to your yourself. You know, your subconscious, you know, you can't read into your self-conscious all the time, but your subconscious believes one thing, but you have to look in the mirror and and believe in yourself and believe in the direction that you want to go, and believe the outcome of that direction, and it will happen. It does. It really, really does. I I know this firsthand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you've had those experiences throughout your life where where you know they've been challenging and you've been down and you've thought probably how am I gonna dig my way out of this one? And been around people who are not do not have the best intentions for you, for you know, have the best I guess how, you know, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes, no, that's very true. And but you know what, I always listen to my gut instincts. That's the one thing that I that I've done. My gut always told me what was right, and it sometimes it took me a little longer to go in the direction of what my gut told me, you know, to go. But and sometimes it took me, and like I said, it took me a while, but I went in that direction, and I it led me to the right path. It led me to the right path.
SPEAKER_00And they also say, I mean, they in my conversations on the podcast with different people. There's um my friend Daphne, goddess of the universe, says, you know, the that that it's like divine timing, like you know, the and you're talking about you know, the universe and the divine and the timing. Timing is everything. Timing is everything, timing is everything.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and she's right, she's a hundred percent right. Timing is everything. It may not happen today or tomorrow or next month, it could even happen a year down the road, but it happens. I truly, truly believe in it because it happened for happened to me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think even in in going through the difficult experiences and you wanting to have the timing different, but then just as you said a few minutes ago, we can't control it all. We can only control our actions and our own decisions, but we can't control what everybody else is doing around us. We can only only control our reaction, you know, our actions and our reactions to whatever is going on in the big picture. And and I remember a time that I feel like, well, I know I was in a situation where I was really worried about how somebody else's actions who I was close with in a relationship and getting out of a relationship, how I thought those, that person's behavior would be a reflection of me. You know, like I was worried, like this is gonna, that person's behavior is gonna show, you know, say to people I'm a bad person because that person was acting in not a right way. And um I was talking to a friend of mine who had was going through or had gone through a similar situation, and he said, you know, Kristen, it's you know, people, people, if if people are gonna judge you based on what somebody else does, I don't think that's anybody that you should even care about.
SPEAKER_01And I agree with that a hundred percent. Yeah. You know, I have this analogy, and I say this to people uh from time to time when they say, you know, I couldn't control this person from doing what they were doing. I tried to help them, but I couldn't, but they did whatever they did. And it wasn't a reflection. It's really truly not a reflection on you. Because I would say, and it's it's is a maybe a really dead example, but I I used to say, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer's mother, I'm sure, didn't raise her child to become a serial killer. You know, once they become 18 years old, you know, and they walk out that door, a person becomes their own person. And you can teach them good values and you can teach them to be have good, be a good person, but a person becomes who they are, you know, and everyone is an individual. You know, you try to to instill good values in a person, and I think you've done a wonderful job with your girls because your girls are outstanding and they're the the sunshine in my life. I absolutely adore them. And that's because of you, because of who you are as a mom, you know, and part, partly. I hope partly, but thank you, but thank you.
SPEAKER_00And having people around them like you, having people around them like you to help raise them up when they needed it. Because I, you know, you have been a safety net too for them, because you know, they can't always come to me and talk to me about things, but they can come to you and they know you're not gonna, you're not gonna tell me. I mean, if you if you if you were concerned about, you know, their life or you were concerned greatly concerned. Yeah, I'm sure, yes, for their safety you would. But they know that you are there like as a like as a second mother to them, like another person who can be their support and they and and have has you know their best, you know, best intention you have, you know, for them.
SPEAKER_01It it's the same thing at you as my as my dear friend. I mean, I consider you my best friend. And as my best friend, I know that if I have something important that I don't want anyone to to know about, you know, you're you're not judgmental. You're you're you're always gonna hear me out and you give me good advice. You're my younger mother.
SPEAKER_00I occasionally, I occasionally say, this is your younger mother talking.
SPEAKER_01That's right. And and and you are, you know, and I and I value our relationship and I value your opinion on things. And sometimes you need someone outside of the family or someone you can trust to talk to. So I mean, I wasn't always able to talk to my mom. No, I mean, you know, there's some certain things, you know, you you feel that you need to talk to an adult about and you don't want to go to your mom. But if it was something of urgency or something of importance or something with your with your girls that was, you know, very, very concerning, I would come to you. I am their fairy godmother, but I am not their mom, and I would never make a decision for them or tell them exactly what to do, but I'd give them something to think about and I would lead them in your direction is what I would do.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I think back to the cream rises to the top, it's like, you know, in yes, I digress. This is how this happens. I'm like, okay, where did we start? Where did this come up? It doesn't matter. We're just going in the direction we're going. But that the cream rising to the top in terms of, you know, resiliency and child rearing. And oh, we started talking about you said Jeffrey Dahmer. That's where we started. That's where this, yeah. So yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer and people like, I mean, they're sick. I mean, they're I mean, obviously, they're mentally, you know, they're they're sick people. And so much of, you know, when you're raising children and and you're helping raise children as you have helped me raise my girls, that um you can set a good example, you can raise them right, but but certainly mental illness is no no match for, you know, even nurturing, nurturing someone because that's nature, you know, nature and nurture. Nature is DNA and and mental illness and and yeah, so that very true. So yes, can you blame his mother? No.
SPEAKER_01You can't, you can't. I hope not.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I don't know his backstory.
SPEAKER_01I hope not too. But what I'm trying to say is that when you the example was that I think every parent tries to instill good values and to be the best to be their best self. Every caring parent. I'll say that. Every caring parent. So there are some that are not. There are some that are probably a lot that are not, but there is a lot that are not. And and um you try to do your best as a parent, but once they become their own person, just like we became our own person, you know. I mean, um, you know, my mother instilled good values, good family values, stay be close to family and you know, you know, be good to your friends and be good to others, but never expect if you're gonna be good to someone, never expect anything in return. Do it because it's from your heart, because you want to do it. So, I mean, you you do things in life, like I said, with your children or even with friends. You know, try to try to lead them in the right direction, but in the end, you are who you are. And you can help someone, but you can only help someone, you know, to go so far. Very true. And you just hope that you yeah, and you hope that you just made a good impression and you gave them a lot of help, you know, in moving forward whatever their situation might be at that time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think too, and I don't uh, you know, in your experience just with friends, I I and and relatives and family that I I think especially the younger generation, and and you know, you've been around my girls and you've been around a lot of younger people, it's like I feel like I think it's reality TV or real and reality of the um, you know, social media, that there's this portrayal that everything is supposed to be wonderful all the time. And there aren't supposed to be tough times when when the cream needs to rise to the top, I feel like they don't, and I'm speaking just from experience with my girls. I feel like sometimes they'll talk and they'll be down about something because they feel like there should be more to life. There should be more to life. And and I keep ex like you say, I'm like, you know, well, life is kind of, you know, working to make a living, to have things that you want, if you want things, and giving back and being of service, that's where the real purpose comes from. And then, you know, having plans and things to look forward to, like, you know, a weekend trip or whatever, but it's not, you know, you're not a Kardashian and it's not life isn't it?
SPEAKER_01You want them to earn it. You want them to earn it. And you know what? When you earn something, you enjoy it so much more. And and and eventually, I I think kids today, as they grow older, if they if they are smart enough to go in the right direction, especially to get away from social media, because social media is you don't even know what's real anymore. You don't know if it's AI or or what. But when you when you be when you earn something, uh it feels so much better. You enjoy it so much more than just having it handled given to you. But I think that you respect it and you respect it.
SPEAKER_00But I think that a heightened expectation of things that, you know, that maybe life should be easier. And and I don't mean that that I mean because both my girls are hard workers, but I I just mean that like maybe they think it should be more. I have to ask them what they think. I have to ask them what they think, but from my perspective, maybe I'm using the word glamorous, like life should be, you know, life on Instagram or life on TikTok. And you know what's not real, but that's not, but that's the that's the world that they have grown up in. Well, it's unfortunate that I was venue. Social media has done that.
SPEAKER_01I feel so yeah, social I feel that social media, a big part of it, has destroyed a lot of the minds of young, young people today. Yeah, they gave them a false information of what life truly is. They don't understand that the values and what it is to work hard, that that nothing is handed to you in life. If you want something, you have to earn it. But they look on social media and they see all this glamour, which isn't even and and and and going on these fancy vacations, and majority of it isn't even real.
SPEAKER_00Or it's not even real. And if you spend your life on vacation, like it's no longer a vacation. I mean, if it it I would I would, and you know, I would be extremely I would be totally bored. I mean, if I if I just didn't didn't have a career and didn't have I'm a caretaker, obviously, and I've talked about having the horses and and you know, there are a lot of work and the girls help, but I am the primary, I'm the one that's doing a lot of the grunt work, but it keeps me in really good physical shape, I guess, shoveling manure and and doing and and I love being around them. But but that's where the purpose comes from and and and the sense of service and giving back is is in doing those things. And I think, yes, if if if of the younger generation generation, if they don't I yeah, I don't think they think about the cream rising to the top. I don't I don't think in their minds they thought, oh, it's gonna be like it's ever gonna be bad. You know, like as bad as you and I have had it. And I'm not saying we've had a bad, but we've we've both had faced like many challenges. We've had we've had some challenges that other people haven't had, and some people have had way different challenges and are way worse, you know. Right.
SPEAKER_01I believe everyone has challenges, like you said, they're they may be different, but that's also a learning curve, a learning experience when you have these challenges, and it makes you wiser and smarter and more aware of what's going on around you, and when it comes to tougher, tougher and it yes, and who to trust. And you know, not everyone is your friend. No, and you have to be smart about that. You know, if you could if you can count on one hand and you have one really good friend or even two, you're very lucky in today's world because not everyone people today don't want to see you succeed, or they or or they're jealous. It's just a different world.
SPEAKER_00It's just or or they're just so self-centered, they're not even thinking about it. Yes, like you weren't even on their radar. Like I think that, like I, you know, if my feelings get hurt, I just I I brush it off and I think, you know what? I'm probably not, even though my feelings got hurt, I'm probably not even a thought to that person. They're just thinking about it themselves.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. And you know what? I have learned, you know, just as a life lesson, I'm very, very like aware of things that go on around me. Where in I I used to think everyone was my friend. I used to think everyone was my friend. That I everyone was gonna like me and you want to be likes. Like I think that's human nature. You know, we all want to be liked, I think. Maybe not all of us, but you and I do. We want to be liked. You know, well, who doesn't want to be like but when you go through sometimes difficult times and your eyes start to open up, you then realize that people who you think are your friends are not your friend. No. They may be an acqu they're more of an acquaintance than a friend.
SPEAKER_00Than a true than a true friend. I mean I I think true friends, and that's probably the fact for most people, you know, that that if you have what like you just said, if you have one, you're lucky. If you have one true friend that you can because most everything is kind of just, you know, again, acquaintances and and they've got their own stuff going on, and maybe they have their own true friend and it's not you. So that's okay. Yes, and that's even okay.
SPEAKER_01And that's the same thing when it comes to family. I mean, you could have family, and then you can have that one good friend that's more like family, like you and I. And and your girls are family to me. Then your own family. It happens, it just happens. I mean, it it sometimes it works out that way. I mean, talk about with siblings, or I'm talking about with you know, cousins and other relatives that you were may have been around when you were younger, aren't your friends today, or you're you're become your family. You sometimes friends become your family. Yeah, and like I said, if one you got one good one, you're lucky. You're doing really you're really lucky.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you hit the lottery. Well, I've hit the lottery with you. I've hit the lottery, so I'm very, I'm very thankful for our friendship. And it's gone fast, but guess what? The show me the baby time is up. It's uh yes, so thank you. Thank you. It was a great conversation, and this was our um what do you call it when it's the the first the first one? That's the first one, but there's inaugural for another. You are gonna come back. You're gonna come back and we're gonna do more. Well, thanks for coming and joining me, and I look forward to doing another episode.
SPEAKER_01You know, anytime, anytime.
SPEAKER_00Thanks, Holly. No, I love you. Love you. Okay, bye-bye now. Bye. Thank you for listening to the Show Me the Baby podcast, and I hope you join me again for another episode. My book, Show Me The Baby, is available at Amazon.com. To learn more about me and a link to order, visit my website, kristenlee.com. That's K-R-I-S-T-Y-N-L-E-E.com.