What If It's Holding You? | Why We Struggle to Let Go of Good Things

What if the thing you're holding onto... is actually holding onto you?

Some of the biggest barriers to freedom aren't obvious.

They're often the good things we've quietly built our identity around.

In this episode of the Freedom Camp Podcast, Gretchen reflects on one of the most memorable scenes from The Lord of the Rings and explores why Bilbo's struggle to leave the Ring behind is more familiar than we might like to admit.

Together we'll explore:

• How productivity, control, approval, and being needed can shape our identity
• Why awareness is the first step toward freedom
• Journal prompts to help you uncover hidden attachments
• A practical invitation to loosen your grip without fear

Who were you before the 'thing'?

Whether your "ring" is busyness, control, people-pleasing, achievement, certainty, or something else entirely, this episode offers a compassionate invitation to explore what true freedom looks like.

Resources:

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Learn more about Freedom Camp:
https://agileinitiatives.com/freedom-camp/

Interested in coaching? Schedule a free introductory conversation through this link https://calendly.com/gretchenknodecoaching/free-discovery 

If this episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could use a little more freedom in their own journey.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Freedom Camp Podcast, rooted in truth, growing in freedom, and built on the belief that you weren't meant to grow alone. Each week I'll share honest stories, insights, and simple questions to help you explore the unseen things that keep you from living in the freedom that's already yours. And take brave intentional steps toward the life you were made for. This is your space to reconnect with your authentic self and grow in freedom on purpose. Have you ever noticed that the things that quietly shape our lives are rarely the obvious things? They're usually not the things we hate, they're the things we enjoy, the things we rely on, the things we've convinced ourselves that we need. And that made me wonder, what if you're not holding on to it? What if it's holding on to you? So this week in Freedom Camp, we talked about one of my favorite scenes in The Lord of the Rings. It's near the beginning of the Fellowship of the Ring, and it's when Bilbo is getting ready to leave the Shire. And I'm going to use the movie version so that I can share the clip in the show notes. And I highly recommend watching the clip. But for the purpose of this moment and for those of you listening, I'm going to summarize it for you. So Gandalf asks Bilbo if he's still leaving the ring behind. And Bilbo says, Well, yes, it's on the mantle. But then he realizes about the same time that Gandalf does, oh, well, isn't that odd? It's in his pocket. And then he pulls it out and he starts gazing at the ring and talking to himself. And then he says, Well, and after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? Well, then Gandoff asks, if it's really that hard to let it go. And Bilbo says no and yes, in one of the most honest lines ever spoken. Well, then Bilbo starts to defend why he should keep it. And he even starts calling it his precious. And he doesn't sound like himself at all. He's angry, he's suspicious, and he accuses Gandalf of wanting it for himself. Well, then Gandalf says something that always gets me. He says, Bilbo, I'm not trying to rob you, I'm trying to help you. And then Gandalf gets down on Bilbo's height and reminds him, all your long years that we've been friends, trust me as you once did, and let it go. Because Gandalf was trying to free him. I don't think many of us have an actual ring, at least not one made of gold. But I do think many of us have things that we've quietly or unknowingly handed authority over ourselves to. Maybe it's control or productivity or people's approval being needed, always being busy, caffeine, sugar, your phone, having everything cleaned up before you can finally rest. And none of those things are inherently bad, but that's exactly what makes them so insidious. They start off good, but when out of balance, they can actually hinder our freedom. The things that keep us from freedom are rarely the things that we hate. They're often the things that we have decided we can't live without. So a year or so ago, when I really started diving deep into my autoimmune healing journey, I learned there were so many things that had a hold of me and I wasn't aware of them. Things that I was depending on to get through the day, or get through the day with a smile on my face, or get through the day doing as many things as I had been doing on previous days. So I started to ask myself a different question. Instead of asking, is this wrong? I started asking, who's in charge here? If I couldn't have it, how would I respond? If someone took it away, would I still have peace? If I couldn't have caffeine, can I still get through the day with a smile on my face? If I can't control the outcome, can I still feel peaceful, joyful, and be content? If people misunderstand me, can I still feel worthy of love? Can I feel accepted? If I couldn't accomplish everything on my list, can I still feel like I did enough? Like I did my best and like I did what needed to be done. And would I still know who I am without this thing? Freedom isn't necessarily about owning nothing, it is about nothing owning you. So this week I want to invite you to try something. Take out a journal, write this question at the top of the page. What might be quietly holding on to me? Not with shame, not with fear, ideally not with any judgment at all, but with curiosity, like you're going on a scavenger hunt within yourself to find a treasure, the treasure of greater freedom. So then ask yourself, what feels impossible to imagine going without? What consistently steals my peace if I don't have it? Or even just by thinking about it? What makes me anxious if it's threatened? What do I keep telling myself I need? What do I reach for first when I'm uncomfortable? Or when I'm struggling to acknowledge an emotion that I don't enjoy feeling? And if I lost it tomorrow, who would I believe myself to be? You don't have to change anything today. Today we just want to notice. Because awareness is truly where freedom begins. One of the things that I love about Gandalf and that story is he wasn't taking Bilbo's struggle to give up the ring to mean anything about his worth, about his value, or anything to do with him. And he was trying to make Bilbo free. And I think God often works the same way with us. Sometimes he invites us to loosen our grip. And it isn't because he's trying to take something good away from us, it's because he wants to give us something better, more of him. Freedom begins when you realize something has been holding on to you all along. And maybe this week the invitation is not to strive harder or fix everything. Maybe it's simply to ask, Lord, is there anything I'm holding on to that's actually holding on to me? And you might be surprised by the answer. If something comes up that you can surrender to Him, I encourage you to let it go and experience the deeper freedom that comes with that. Maybe it's a permanent surrender, maybe it's temporary. Either way, releasing something that has a hold on you and receiving more of God is how we connect to deeper levels of freedom. This podcast, like so many of the Freedom Camp conversations, is really about identity. The ring didn't just give Bilbo power, it became part of how he understood himself. That's why letting it go felt like losing a piece of himself. And I wonder if that's true for us too. Maybe we're not actually afraid of losing the thing. Maybe we're afraid of losing the version of ourselves we've built around the thing. Who are you if you're not the productive one? Who are you if you're not the helper? Who are you if you're not the one that everyone depends on? Who are you if you don't have to control the outcome? Who are you if someone misunderstands you? And who are you if you don't earn everyone's approval? Who are you before the thing? These are hard questions to answer on our own. Sometimes we can't see the thing that's quietly holding us because we've lived with it for so long. Like Bilbo didn't realize he still had the ring, even after that conversation. And Gandalf ends up stopping him as he's walking out the door, resolute that he had left it behind when he actually hadn't. And that's a big part of what coaching is for. It's another perspective from someone who has your back, like Gandalf has Bilbo's. I often describe it as going on a virtual hike together. We slow down, we notice what's been hidden in plain sight, and we explore what freedom looks like from here. If that sounds like something that you'd benefit from, I'd love to invite you to schedule a free, no pressure conversation. The link is in the show notes. And if you're looking for a community to walk this journey with, Freedom Camp opens again in September, and we'd love to have you. You'll find the link for that in show notes as well. Either way, I hope that this was a blessing to you. I hope that you will ponder these questions and that you will consider what you hear back from the Lord. And if this is a blessing to you and you think of someone that you think may also benefit from it, please share it. And thanks again for listening to the Freedom Camp Podcast. Thanks for listening to the Freedom Camp Podcast, where we believe freedom is nurtured from within and grows when you tend to it. If this stirred something in you, let it take root this week and see what grows. And if you enjoyed this or found it meaningful, please give the gift of a review, share it with a friend, and leave a comment below. It helps us build this podcast community because we weren't meant to grow alone.