Why you keep refining your messaging and repositioning yourself

If you keep tweaking your message, changing your niche or second guessing how you show up… this episode is for you!

Because this isn’t a strategy problem. It’s an identity one.

In this episode, I’m breaking down 5 deeper subconscious reasons why your message isn’t sticking, and why constantly “refining” it is actually keeping you stuck.

We’re going beyond surface level advice and looking at what’s really driving the cycle… from self doubt and fear of visibility, to not fully backing yourself or your value.

If you’re ready to stop overthinking your message and start owning it, this will shift something.

Inside this episode:

• Why constantly changing your message is a form of avoidance
• The identity gap that’s keeping you playing small
• How people pleasing is diluting your message
• Why you don’t trust yourself to stick with one direction
• The link between your message, visibility and self-worth

This is your reminder: your message doesn’t need more work… you just need to stand in it.

@kirsty_mason_coaching

www.kirstymasoncoaching.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Success Dunks Within, the podcast for ambitious women who are ready to elevate their success, wealth, and confidence, and who are done with getting in their own way. I'm Kirsty, a subconscious and identity coach for women, and in this podcast, we're going to dive into the beliefs, thoughts, and patterns that hold you back from being the woman you want to become, so that you can step into a life that feels abundant and alive. And my promise is that you're going to leave every episode feeling seen, inspired, and equipped with the tools to take your next steps towards the woman you're meant to be. So grab yourself a coffee or a glass of wine and let's get started. Hello, lovely lady, and welcome to another episode of Success Starts Within. I'm coming to you from a very calm, regulated state. One of them being online and the other one in a room of a hundred women, which I've never done before. And I'm gonna be honest, I let the whole the whole situation control my life. For three weeks, it's what I thought about, it's what I focused on, and it was absolutely crazy. So to comment this now today, not having that over my shoulders is very nice, but oh my god, did I learn so much? Not just about like the sit about the process, sorry, but just a lot about me and the way that I work. I've realized that I am very much the type of person that goes into complete avoidance when she's overwhelmed and stressed. So I left everything to the last minute. I was in John Lewis the night before with my daughter trying to find an outfit. I decided that I wanted to get my hair coloured, so I messaged my friend and said, Can you come and do my hair now for me? And she had to literally just come stick a colour on and then leave. Um, and I left quite a lot of things to the last minute, but it was amazing, and I've met some incredible women. I have had some discovery calls, I've got people in my DMs, and I just love it because women have watched my talk and realised that there is so much more to them, and that actually it's just a case of doing the work, going through the main character method, and they can come out the other side and feel fucking awesome. So, yay to that. But today I'm going to be talking about something that has come up in the last week, I would say about three, four times, and I've had to, as I said, I've had a couple of discovery calls, and this came up with them as well. So I thought, hmm, this is going to be a very interesting topic, I would love to talk about. So, I don't know about you, and I know that I did this, which is why it kind of hits home for me too. When I don't know whether a lot of you are in this situation where you are starting to change your messaging a bit, you're repositioning yourself two or three times, you're looking at your messaging, you're changing it, you're changing it again, and nothing is quite sticking, nothing is really, you've got to the point where you don't really know who you are and who you help because you've changed yourself so many times. And this tweaking is actually a subconscious strategy to make us look productive, and we think that we're working, which we are, we're tweaking, we're changing, we're doing all the things. We're sat at our computer, which is where we should be. We you we're on our phone, we're we're creating content, so it actually looks like we're growing, but what we're doing is we are avoiding and we're dressing there up as a strategy. If you can hear that noise outside, there's a bloody annoying Falkliff truugh going back and forth down my road, delivering uh fence panels. So please ignore that, and I don't edit these because I ain't got time. Um, so yes, this is avoidance dressed up as strategy. So we really think we're doing all the things, we're working really hard, and all we're really doing is just playing around with our messaging. And what happens when we do that is that we get so confused and we start to feel really exposed because we're doing all the things, we're putting the content out there, but no one's really getting back to us, no one's really responding, no one's inquiring, and no one's buying. So it can be so frustrating in your business if this is what is happening to you. So if you are somebody that is constantly tweaking and refining, second guessing themselves, then I'm gonna go deep in this episode today and I'm gonna talk about five subconscious reasons why you're not letting your message stick and what to do about each of them. Because your message, I'm pretty sure, and your strategy, I'm pretty sure, is fucking perfect. But what is happening is that when it gets to the point to either be visible, to sell, to booking calls, to do um sales calls, to cold call clients, whatever you do, that's when the thought starts to come into your mind, and you think, hmm, maybe that's not the right ideal client. Maybe I need to maybe I need to reposition myself. So you stop selling and you start doing, and you feel productive, but it doesn't bring the money in. So one subconscious reason why you're not letting your message stick could be that you don't actually believe in that main character version of yourself yet, that future version of you. Obviously, I call her the main character. So there's this gap between what you're claiming now and what you believe you're allowed to claim. Okay. And what's happening here is that you're softening your message, you're diluting it, you're changing it. But all that's happening is that your identity just hasn't caught up with your vision. So the main character, she is she knows her messaging, she knows who she supports. She gets out there and she's selling. But where you are right now is that you're not comfortable and you haven't gone through the process to become your main character. So therefore, you're getting in your own way. Your subconscious is creating these blocks and these barriers to stop you from actually getting there. So it starts to create these stories in your mind. So, what I would say is say stop sort of stop yourself really in your tracks and just sort of think to yourself, like at the moment you're saying, is this the right message? Well, no, it's not the right message, which is why you're tweaking. So I would just instead ask yourself, who do I need to become to hold this message without shrinking? So, what who do I need to be to absolutely own the message that I'm putting out there, to own um the business owner who is supporting this particular ideal client? Who do I need to be? And what does she do? How does she manage that? And then from there start acting from her. Now, of course, you're not going to feel ready. Of course you're not going to feel ready because you're not her yet. But the more that you start to start to take these actions that your future self will do, your main character is doing, you will very quickly catch up with her, and that gap that I spoke about will close. So, the second subconscious story, it may be that you're trying to be accepted rather than of being seen. So when your message is too safe, it's usually because it's been edited through the lens of like, will people like me? Will this offend anyone? Is this too much? So, what you do again, you start to become palatable, you become beige, you water that messaging down so that you don't really get seen at all. And what's happening there is that you're prioritizing approval from other people over the truth, over what you know is actually yeah, the truth and what is going to support people. So it's that prioritizing over the certainty of of what you know is going to is going to help people to move forward, help the clients to move forward in their life. So when you're doing your messaging, I want you to let your message exclude other people. Because when that when the moment your message becomes specific, when it becomes bold and it feels a little bit uncomfortable, that's when you'll start attracting the right people. Because rather than playing very small, keeping it beige and it not really attracting anybody, you actually stepping out of that comfort zone and saying something that is beyond what you feel comfortable with saying, that's when it's going to start hitting the people. That's when it's going to start attracting the people that you need to be in your world and the people that potentially could be your clients and the ones that pay you. So the third subconscious story, you don't trust yourself to stick with one direction. So it's all about this self-trust. And I'm really feeling a lot of that as I'm talking to these women over the last week or so. And you know, and I'm gonna be honest, when I was doing my talk, obviously I was very nervous, and when I did a bit of nervous system work, I was sort of in this like meditation one day, and the thing that came up to me was I don't trust myself. And I thought, fuck, I don't trust myself, which is ridiculous because I wrote my talk, the talk didn't come out of ChatGPT, it came out of my brain. So I know what I'm saying, so why don't I trust myself to go and stand on that stage and say it? Obviously, eyes on you have that big impact, but I just realized that I really have lost this self-trust, and it's exactly what I'm seeing in other women too. They're not trusting themselves, which is why you question things, you compare to other people, and then you think, oh shit, I need to pivot, I'm gonna go and do something different. And then the cycle repeats, you keep doing that, and not because it's wrong, right? It's just because you don't trust your own leadership. So what you're doing is that you're outsourcing your authority to other people. So I want you to make this decision. I want you to decide that this messaging and this position that you're in right now is one that you are gonna stick with for the next 90 days. No tweaking, no pivoting, no overthinking. Literally stick with it for 90 days because you're not gonna get this, you know, mastery doesn't come from constant change, it just comes from repetition. Repetition, depth, slightly tweaking, but only tweaking within that message, if that makes sense, but just constantly getting out there. And the thing is, if you keep changing yourself and your message, then it's gonna be confusing for other people because they're not gonna know who you support, what you do, and how to work with you and how you can help them. So they're not even gonna, they ain't gonna slide in your DMs, they're not gonna work wanna follow you, you know. They need to they need consistency and they need to know exactly what you do, they need that repetition. And the fourth one, you may be avoiding visibility at a deeper level. So let's be honest here, ladies. When your message is unclear, you kind of have this little built-in excuse that says, Well, I'm just figuring things out, you know, I'm just trying to work out what my angle is. Because when it is clear, when your messaging is 100% clear and you know what who you are and what you stand for and who you support, it then means that you've got to be seen. You've then got to start selling and you've got to have that attention on you. And so if you're not comfortable with that, your subconscious is gonna keep you safe and it's gonna continue to do this beige messaging. So call it out. Like, literally say, if I fully owned my message, what would it require of me? And just see what comes up when you ask yourself that answer that ask yourself that question, and again, start meeting that version of you in just small, consistent ways. So when you're doing identity work or any kind of inner work, it is not for you to be taking these huge fucking leaps into like the unknown because what's gonna happen? Your nervous system is gonna freak out and it's gonna pull you back to where you were. Then you're gonna tell yourself, I tried and it didn't work, I'm a failure, so I'm not gonna bother again. But that's not how it is. You try to make the leap too far. It's all about very small, consistent steps so that your nervous system feels safe with the change, your subconscious is learning a different way of being, and your identity is changing into this main character, the person that you want to be. And then lastly, number five, you don't fully believe that people will pay you yet. I'm gonna repeat that. You don't fully believe that people are gonna pay you yet. So if your message is really reflecting the value you bring, it would feel like it would feel bigger, it would feel more direct. Again, the eyes would be on you, so instead you water it down so it feels reasonable, you know, it feels reasonable. And what's really happening, what's really happening is that you are calibrating your message to match your current self-worth. Okay, you are calibrating your message to match your current self-worth, and that's really important. I want you to write this down. So you will got to think about your messaging and how what is it, how is it coming across, and look into yourself. Do you feel worthy? Are you is there a match or is there a mismatch? And I can guarantee right now, there is a mismatch because if you felt self-worth, you would be bang into your certain into your message, and you'll be like, This is this is who I am, this is who I support, this is what I do, this is how much you pay me, and this is what I'm worth, basically. So I want you to just really think about that. Um, and a shift is write, okay, do this. This is quite a good idea. Write your message from the main character version of you who already gets paid well. So who is already in demand and she is already knows that she's valuable? So write your message from her. And when I when I say write your message, I talk about your repositioning and your message to your clients. What does your main character how sorry, how does your main character talk about herself, her services, the value she gives, the transformations that she gives? How does she talk about that? And then I want you to do your messaging from there. And then just notice what changes because the version of you, this main character, she does not over-explain, she just claims. And when she claims, the growth will start to happen, and again, that gap between where you are now and who you want to be, the main character, it gets smaller and smaller. So your messaging, okay, it doesn't need to be done, redone again, it doesn't need to be fixed. It's good enough as it is. It's just that you need to stand certain in it. And just think about this. The woman who, sorry, the women who are fully booked, the women who are visible and making money, they are not constantly reinventing themselves, they're not constantly changing their message, they're deciding who they are, and they have decided what they stand for, and they are courageously repeating it louder and louder. So if you take anything from this episode, ladies, let it be this, please, that your power is not in refining your message at all. It's just in becoming the woman who no longer feels she needs to. And when you come from that place, you no longer need to tweak your messaging because you realize that your messaging is good enough. All right, my lovelies. I have loved chatting to you about this today, and I really hope that it's resonated with some of you. I hear in it all the time. Your message is enough, okay? You you don't need to reposition. 90 days, stick with it for 90 days and just see what happens. And this is something that I support with in the main character shift because I know that the tweaking is just a subconscious story. It's something that is stopping you and holding you back. So I go through a process to completely clear that, and that is when we start to see results. We start the clients start to see more clients, they start to have more money, they start to sell courses, sell programs because they've stopped trying to be wishy-washy with their message and they've stood firm in what they truly believe. So, thank you so much for listening, and I will speak to you later, my love. Bye. Thank you for listening to Success Starts Within. I hope you're leaving today feeling inspired, grounded, and one step closer to the woman you're becoming. And always remember success starts within. I'll see you in the next episode.