No One Is Coming to Save You

You’re not stuck because you don’t know what to do.
You’re stuck because part of you doesn’t feel safe doing it.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the hard truth most women in business avoid… no one is coming to save you. Not another strategy, not another coach, not another course.

Your results shift when you do.

We’re diving into:

• Why your business isn’t a strategy problem
• The identity gap keeping you stuck at your current level
• How your belief system is quietly running the show
• The reason you self-sabotage (even when you know better)
• How to start rewiring your thoughts and nervous system for success

I’ll also walk you through a simple, powerful practice to help you shift your thinking, regulate your body, and start taking action from your next-level identity.

This is the episode that brings you back into ownership… and shows you exactly where your power is.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of Success Starts Within. So today I'm feeling a little bit brutal. I'm sorry. It's coming up to the time of the month, and I feel like saying it as it is. So today I'm going to be talking about why nobody is going to come and save you. Now, when things get tough, we just want somebody to come and swoop in and do everything for us because it means that we don't have to deal with it. But I'm sorry to say, and this is something that I'm still learning, still trying to come to terms with the fact that no one's going to come and save my ass other than me. Now, when you do have these thoughts of I need somebody to take this over because I am incapable of doing it, I don't want to do it, I want to avoid doing it, there is actually a belief behind that reason. So everybody has a different belief system. How what you believe and what I believe are completely different things. What you believe about yourself and what I believe about myself are completely different things, and how we view the world is going to be very different than everybody else. We're all very unique in that sense. So when we think about our businesses, and when we are trying to deal with things that come up, problems that come up, etc., and we have to deal with this sort of like level of stress, we all deal with it differently. And somebody like me, who has always seeked validation from other people, who has never really been able to answer a question without really checking with somebody else, really has struggled in you know on this journey of being an entrepreneur because it's a very isolating business. Yes, we have our bus besties, yes, we have people that we meet in networking events, but ultimately the day-to-day work, we're on our own. We don't have people to meet in the tea room like you do in the office to have this chat and bounce ideas off of. So when you are coming up against something that's tricky, you do get that feeling of like, oh, I just want somebody else to do this for me. I don't want to do that. But think about why you're saying that to yourself because there will be a reason behind that. Now, when I started out in my business, oh my god, everything was freaking hard, and it was such a shock because I had nobody to turn to, I'd nobody to go, am I doing the right thing? Even now, it's like I don't know whether what I'm doing is gonna be successful or not. But the difference is is I have completely worked on my identity and I now see myself as somebody that will just try. Whereas before I wouldn't try because I immediately thought, well, I don't really think this is going to be successful, or I'd say to myself, do you know what? I don't think this is good enough, so I'm not gonna bother. And what I would do is I would have these amazing ideas, I'd write them down in my notes in my phone, or I'd put them in a notepad, and I'd get really excited about them, but then I wouldn't do anything with them because I allowed my belief system, I allowed my subconscious mind to start to tell me that they weren't good enough or that they were going to fail, or what's the point in trying? Because nobody's gonna sign up or get interested anyway. So that's when I was like, I need somebody to help me, I need somebody to come and do this for me, but there was nobody there, which is why it's so imperative to work on your belief system and your identity. Now think about it: your brain is wired for familiarity, it's not wired for success, and I really am gonna start talking about that a lot more because people don't understand that we're not wired for success at all. We're wired to stay small, we're wired to not push ourselves out of our comfort zone, we're wired to keep doing the same shit every single day because the mind and the body get comfort from that, but when you do the same thing every single day, you don't grow, you don't expand, you don't earn more, you don't have more fun, you know, you have to start looking at the you have to start questioning yourself constantly. So when you do have this thought about, I want to try this thing, for example, but it's just gonna fail, it's gonna flop. So, what's the point of me trying anyway? That's your subconscious mind jumping in to make it make sure that you don't stretch yourself. But I want you to ask yourself when this happens, where is the evidence for that? You haven't freaking tried it, like you've got no idea that what you're gonna put out there works or doesn't work. It might be a raging success and you make loads of sales from it, who knows? But because you are wired to stay safe, that means that you are gonna self-sabotage, and self-sabotage is the not doing, and sometimes another way of self-sabotage is well, I've never done this before, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it, I don't know if it's going to work, so I don't have anybody else to ask, so I'm just not gonna bother. And again, this is where you stay small, and there's also this kind of um other piece around it where it's that belief system of your fear of judgment, you know, worrying about what other people are gonna think of you that always pops up, and you're gonna hear me talk about this a lot as well because it's the number one thing I think for most people is worrying about what other people think, but as I've said in a previous episode, you're giving your power away to somebody else, and probably somebody you don't even speak to anyway, or give a shit about. So it's that worrying about what people think of you, and there is something that people don't realize when they are working on their belief systems and they're constantly challenging challenging themselves, and they're trying to start being um what's the word? They're trying to start making decisions for themselves without seeking external like support and answers. They're going through this process of outgrowing their current identity because their current identity would be the one that asks for validation and asked for help and wasn't able to make the decisions. But the new identity is the one that starts making the decisions themselves, the one that doesn't need to ask other people. And so when you are going through this shift, this is where you are gonna get that heavy feeling, that stickiness, that questioning. So rather than holding yourself back and actually not taking that action, so for example, if you're trying to make a decision about something where you you would usually ask somebody else, instead of thinking, well, I'm not, I'm just gonna leave it, which is what your old identity would do, when you're shifting to become somebody different, and you think actually I'm gonna make this decision myself, you will literally feel that pull to kind of go back and not take any action, if that makes sense. So continue to start making your own decisions. As I said, nobody's gonna come and save you, nobody's gonna tell you what to do. Yes, you can work with coaches and yes, you can work with mentors who can support you with your business, not only in the strategic side, but also with the mindset and the identity work. Hello, Kirsty Mason over here. Um but I've lost my trail of thought now because I was trying to uh trying to market myself right in the middle of a podcast. Yes, it's that identity shift. The identity work is is really important. Keep taking action, keep taking small action, start backing yourself a little bit. You know, when you are trying to make decisions and you're not used to it and you're used to asking other people, don't go to chat GPT, it's the same fucking thing. People don't chat GPT is still a person, it might be AI, but it's still a freaking person, okay? So don't go there. Start making that decision yourself. I would say a really good practice is this. When you are deciding what to do, I want you to just sort of sit down, take a few deep breaths, and then just ask yourself, should I do this? And if you get a very neutral feeling in your body, then that could be your yes. If you get a drop in your stomach or a pushing against your chest and like a jolt in your body, that's your body, your intuition, your gut telling you that it might not be the best idea. But it also might be I'm not ready right now, it doesn't feel safe right now. So when you are asking yourself a question, try and determine what one that is, okay? And if you ask your intuition, which one is it? Do I not feel safe or is this a hell fucking no? If it comes up that you don't feel safe, then whatever um decision you're making, try and say yes to a micro decision. Now, if it's for example, if it's something where you would love to invest in a coach, but the coach is just a bit too much money, you haven't got that right now, or you know that you want to, but and this is what happens a lot: people know that they want to do it, and they have the money as well, but it's just that lack of self-trust. But actually, you know, spending that much with that person is too much. See if there's a low-ticket offer. So it's it's a yes, but it's it's a decision that you're saying yes to, but it's also in a way that you can kind of test the water with yourself and with that person as well. I don't know if this is the best example, but what I'm saying is try and make a micro decision, a micro yes towards this bigger decision, just so you start to build up your safety around making decisions without having to ask other people. You really want to build that self-trust, you've got to build that self-trust in business, you know. It's so important to have that um belief and that trust in yourself because there's gonna be times where there's going to be nobody to turn to, and there's gonna be times where you're gonna have to make decisions in a moment. And if you haven't built that trust up with yourself, you are going to be saying yes when you mean no or no when you mean yes, you're gonna be missing opportunities, you're going to be losing out on clients as well, because you haven't because you haven't built up that ability to make decisions without checking with somebody else. So your current results, so your current results in your business and the way that things are going at the moment are just a reflection of your current beliefs. So if you believed that people are ready to buy from you and that you are like the one that is they that they have to choose because you are the fucking muts nuts, and if you feel safe to be seen and paid well, then what's going to happen is that you are going to run your business differently. You're not going to be procrastinating or pondering on decisions, you're just going to be taking action very quickly, and quick action taking gets quick results. So really start to think about your thoughts. And when you do think, oh my god, I've got to go and ask somebody, I can't make this decision myself. Just sit with yourself for a minute, do the exercise where you just ask yourself, is this the right decision? See what comes up in your body, and then just say yes to something smaller that is going to work up to that bigger yes. Does that make sense? I really hope it makes sense. It makes sense in my head, but I hope it's making sense to yours. Because your thoughts become your beliefs, and your beliefs start to shift your identity. So if you truly believe that the clients are out there, if you truly believe that you are the obvious choice, the people to work with, then you're gonna be good, then the clients are gonna come to you. If you keep thinking, no one's buying right now, you know, I don't think I've got enough experience, I haven't had enough clients, I haven't got enough clients to get testimonials, to show that I'm really good. What's gonna happen? You're gonna hold yourself back. You are gonna hold yourself back, and we don't want that to happen. We want you to start showing up. We want you to start showing up and making fast, quick decisions from the main character identity because that's what she does. She makes those decisions very quickly and with certainty and conviction. So challenge your thoughts, people. Challenge your thoughts, start working on this identity, this new main character identity of yours, this one that is just like hell fucking yes, yes, yes, no, no, I haven't got time to ponder, I haven't got time to procrastinate. And build up the self-trust. You know, another thing actually, another really good exercise to do, it's a bit random, but this is a great thing to try. So when you're building up your self-trust, say, for example, you think you want to have a cup of coffee, but then in your head you're like, I don't see no I want a cup of tea. Ask your intuition. Do I want a tear of coffee? And it will give you the right answer. This is going to be an even more random story, but I was gonna share it with you anyway. So I haven't drunk coffee for quite some time because it gives me like makes my stomach feel a bit heavy. And before I started to cut out coffee, I decided to start working with my intuition and my self-trust and my body to help me, to help give me the answers that I need to hear. And so I was like, in the morning, I was like, Do I want a cup of tea or do I want a cup of coffee? And immediately my body was like, cup of tea, it didn't want the coffee. And then I remember one morning, I was like, fuck it, I actually just I'm gonna override this, I'm gonna have a cup of coffee. And I felt terrible for about three hours, and it really highlighted to me that your intuition knows best much, much better than your head does. So to listen to that more and don't allow your head to override, override your anything. Listen to your intuition, right, my lovelies. I'm going to go. Just remember, no one is coming to save you, but the woman who will change everything is already you. And your next level is waiting, isn't waiting, sorry, on more information. She's just waiting for you to create this new identity and to step into this main character. Okay, so start making decisions from your main character identity, and I will see you next week. Bye.