Rise Resolute

Rosanne Carter: Embracing vulnerability, the power of knowledge and what we do with it, and how gratitude can change your world.

June 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 11
Rise Resolute
Rosanne Carter: Embracing vulnerability, the power of knowledge and what we do with it, and how gratitude can change your world.
Chapters
Rise Resolute
Rosanne Carter: Embracing vulnerability, the power of knowledge and what we do with it, and how gratitude can change your world.
Jun 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 11
Gina Meyer, DPT
Rosanne Carter is a Seattle-based Family/Infant Mental Health Therapist, runner, wife, mother, and Cancer Survivor. Connect and RISE as she shares her journey through cancer sharing how important it is to embrace vulnerability, the power of knowledge and what we do with it, and how gratitude can change your world.
Show Notes Transcript

Rosanne Carter is a Seattle-based Family/Infant Mental Health Therapist, runner, wife, mother, and Cancer Survivor.  Connect and RISE as she shares her journey through cancer and shares how important it is to embrace vulnerability.  Rosanne also discusses being tested for BCRA gene mutations which put one at risk for breast and ovarian cancer (and other types of cancer). She shares that knowledge is power and that we always have a choice.  Rosanne poignantly describes how gratitude shapes her life- even during the most difficult days when she was going through chemotherapy.  After treatment, she is now back to running and living a life she loves.  Prepare to be inspired by this amazing woman and her generous heart.  Rosanne says she always knew that her Cancer diagnosis was bigger than just her- which is so evident in her ability to strengthen us all through her wisdom and grace.   



Speaker 1:
0:02
[inaudible], welcome to rise. Resolute. I am beyond excited to have Roseanne Carter with us today. She's a family and Finn Mental Health Therapist and a cancer survivor. She's a runner. She's a stylist for Stella and dot raising money for women diagnosed with cancer. And she has an amazing heart and an amazing story. So I'm so happy that she's here with us today. Hi Roseanne. Hi. Yes, I'm so excited about this. And before we get started, I'm going to give our fantastic quote that we're going to weave through this episode today. And the quote is this, vulnerability is not weakness. It is our greatest measure of courage and Roseanne is going to share with us today, um, part of her journey and, um, we're going to weave that quote through her wisdom and the things that she's learned on the road that she's traveled. So I'm so excited to get started. Um, Rosanna, if you would just give us a little intro on you.
Speaker 2:
1:04
Absolutely. I am a mom of two kids. I have an eight year old boy, five no girl. I am a wife, a wonderful [inaudible] and [inaudible] the mental health therapist. Thanks 30 my journey of working with families and children, Gosh, more than 20 years ago and my journey really started to go off where m has an amazing neighbor who was fund raising or Sydney and Co and [inaudible] helped me make this breakthrough in cancer research and I, you know, started fundraising for city of video for her and her and knew then and there that I had wanted to become a counselor with working with children with cancer and we knew that going into college. So good luck volunteering there and got involved with an incredible work organization at the university by any one company marathon if we fundraise your incredible amount of money for things, the children to cancer. And like on Tuesday I own children's hospitals with the academy, the chocolate actually seven years they're working again.
Speaker 2:
2:22
Sam's had cancer and that well of children and families when up in [inaudible] is buck and blow hard to fit 2010 I just think not the family number 29 and that diagnosis really were bouncing some time and luckily, and Matt need any chemo or any other treatment other than just the removable melanoma. And let's see, so fast forward now to 2017 we, we make the [inaudible], this was in August of 2017 [inaudible] and at the 17 years Ms. Fowler hit found Alam it was not doing this stuff. And Sam as you know in this hour, amazing. And can we, I'm thinking thing thing thinking one think that it's probably nothing, it's not a big deal, but it's one of those things were on my mind and I was obsessed with the feeling in a do thing, but the [inaudible] still there and Keke later was still there. And then he finally said something to my husband who I being like, you know, all the doctors and you know, I think the important part here is to, now that I'm very healthy, I rarely get say very after the doctor anything back.
Speaker 2:
4:02
One of the things that I am, I don't want to say I look back, but I am one money phone now that me [inaudible] me and any, I did not pop it up anyway. Okay. There's no, that depends on, again, in Bevmo drowned and Aclaris you know, back to school. I think that Basie and a full time working mom, I was busy and that was kind of not a priority for me to call the doctor. And at the end of September, my husband father passed away in that, that was more of a priority in my mind, thinking about family and you know, being present there. Then finally, and I make miss them my mind with we, cause we caught, the doctor did not send immediate right there yesterday or sorry, October. So October 3rd [inaudible]. Okay. And I think once it was in that office, Hey, do you know you just had back to yawning. And it wasn't until I was living in the out there looking at the doctor saying, I found this lamb
Speaker 3:
5:08
where I just had this feeling, this is not going to be guy. And right away he set me up for a diagnostic mammogram. That was the next day. And then after that there was an ultrasound and that's the bathroom. If I am seeing the doctor that did the biopsy and said, we'll give you a call and we'll let you know. And I'm one of those people like, can I need to know I'm fighting. I didn't want to wait the whole weekend. I faint spam. What, you know, in your work, you've seen this a million times, are you already seeing something that is super funny? And she just took a big deep breath and
Speaker 2:
5:52
I really needed him. Yeah. And, and she was honest and sad. You know,
Speaker 3:
5:58
I, yeah, I do see something by instance. I mean, and I've been, and I, we will call you and we'll let you know as both 2017 I was in the office at work by myself. Got a phone call from the man. Um, the first, I think the third way or that [inaudible] and probably the only way that I really remember where you have left, they said, ma'am, are you kissing them? And then I think all of that happened. I was a player.
Speaker 1:
6:30
I bet. Yeah. And then so, um, after the diagnosis, I know you had quite a journey. Um, do you want to tell the listeners a little bit about what happened after you are diagnosed and you know, even in that moment, that moment of vulnerability of just asking the doctor, do you think this is doesn't look good? I mean, just kind of putting myself, um, thinking about what that might feel like. I can't imagine Roseanne. And so, you know, I just commend you for your strength. Um, but yeah, please tell us a little bit more now about the journey after the diagnosis. Where was your mental state when once you got the diagnosis, were you ready to tackle it? Were you, how were you feeling?
Speaker 2:
7:10
Yeah. Yeah. So the first day with Lola Cook, Dan, in our case, you know, it'd be things from Jen heres and sadness to, I got there and my, the first like main language and, and my cry. But you know where my kid, how you know how I think when you hear the word cancer you think yeah, by eight and even now in the work banking, I know that's not, it does not equal gap, but when all of a sudden nick knew you're my or my mind went to the doctor and I think I, I needed to make myself get to that dark place. Is that back? Thanks. Is Not a fine thing to be. Yeah. It's scary and overwhelming and yeah, see, anyway, you know, it's definitely not a fair place to be in, but like I said, eight meters is yet to that plate and just cry.
Speaker 2:
8:06
That ugly cry is foreign to me has been earned and just yet all of that out so that I can continue to be Ron ball and fight. The fight is down [inaudible] and the neck is nice. The next couple of weeks was just follow up doctor appointments and when I was ready to tell the well it when nothing cause they wanted badness or sympathy or any, it was because I was ready for a fight and I was ready. I knew I do it in, I knew this fight is bigger than me is massive when for all the women and men that are on this journey or me on maybe on the journey or maybe have known the on the journey and Justin now how to aspect them and then support and so eight main journey, bigger than easy. They knew it was a bigger purpose than just me. It's the idea [inaudible] and I used that as my medium for team meeting with everyone.
Speaker 2:
9:16
But when I went on it was more about with my niece and everyone, how am I going to do this and what do I need? And one of the first things I asked for, whereas positive quotes, just a, you am a very positive person and so for my husband, so we all went into this, not even the glass is half full but it is right. And so, and we also need that. We had the community of people with me know how incredible the community health app and our friends and family in all the ways that they share that and we just have no idea how and how massive and how far in one that would be. We would be into spread and so, and asking for help with we think in knowing when they need it.
Speaker 1:
10:15
Right again
Speaker 2:
10:16
in the beginning. Okay. And one of the clothes that, one of I seven we have a cousin in Ireland I love dearly. He had posted with one of the first people who posted a quote and I just met. Really stuck with me. Yeah. My own journey in now and I certainly other two, the quota, you don't have a right to the card. People have been down, you haven't obligated to stay the hell out of them. And that club. And also true, you know, I didn't ever want to be in that place that why me, why me, but, and how am I going to fight? And so it's really start, um, recognizing the importance of [inaudible] and those that are close to you.
Speaker 1:
11:11
I love that. Um, and I think that's a fantastic quote. Um, as all of you know, my listeners, I also enjoy quotes and that's a great one. Um, and so I will post the link to that quote in the show notes also. Um, it's just fantastic and I, you know, I love some of the things that you shared, um, about the journey up to now. I really, I think there's so much value and that you said getting to that dark place so that you could find your way out. Because we do, we have to make ourselves vulnerable and feel those emotions and ride the tide and you know, really let ourselves live in that space so that we can then, you know, take the next step. Um, and we can process, you know, and go through, go through the steps that we need to do to come out on the other side.
Speaker 1:
11:55
And I also loved when you said I couldn't do it by myself. And I think just realizing that that is what this podcast is about too because we are stronger together and hearing you talk about your community and the way that they showed up for you, your family and your friends and everyone in your life. And that's just a beautiful thing. And I think when we allow people to do that for us, um, we make ourselves vulnerable and we also open the door for such love and such grace. And so anyway, I'm so glad to hear that, that people showed up for you like that. That's fantastic. Well, do you want to share anything else about that? The actual journey in cancer for those who might be going through something similar with breast cancer about any, about your treatment, and it's okay if you, if you don't, Roseanne, but do you, do you want to share a little bit about the treatment that you went through? Um, yeah. Okay. Yep, absolutely.
Speaker 2:
12:43
I am sort of, one of the first things was can you say that to make sure that I did not carry a, you know, maybe a breast cancer [inaudible] you know, just to kind of maybe pinpoint if there's a reason why I have, and that was one of the testing back and mindset and I keep me back confidence I carry, but back then we all had the PRCA what we all do when you taking on the gene and the back, the ones back with you and the two parents. So either the mother in your pocket.
Speaker 1:
13:28
That's right. And I'm going to interrupt you first really quick second and just tell our listeners, for those who don't know, I think most do, but bracket two most notably increases the risk of um, breast cancer and ovarian cancer. And they've also been, it's also been associated with the increased risk of different types of cancer. So I'm sorry to interrupt. Go ahead. Continue as
Speaker 2:
13:46
great. Thank you. Yes. And in fact this was likely the reason why I was saying the seller number isn't up there is an increase in and none of them and the ones that came back that that neonic different, well not a different journey, but there's another path at finding out more about my family and nobody I knew now I'm not, doesn't them back part of the journey. The other part was the treatment. Now if we can fit the bracket team and I need this guidance because it's such a Hagler so you haven't 85% now I'm getting breastfeed that if you have the mutation. So [inaudible] gotten to that point. What I had not decided on was whether I was, can I have a, you didn't let no [inaudible] my last name or if I was going to go with it, that one 10 by the new page.
Speaker 2:
14:47
Then I decided on the devil at the campus say to me back in my rights lesson, right? Oh, it decided to go ahead with the devil mastectomy and we went and intermediate construction. And that just means that once they removed both plans, they put in expanders to preserve the skin for water and exactly later after treatment when everybody that, that was in November and December 18 weeks email and after chemo, when five weeks of radiation and radiation where the, um, we construction is that you can [inaudible] and because again, at the [inaudible] I did have my opening somebody I hate it now. I felt like I, the lack of better words or something, you know, I didn't want to wait to find out I had ovarian cancer. I want to come into my no can move in January, 2019.
Speaker 1:
15:55
That's right. And before we go any further too, I just want to touch on something else as well. Um, I think it requires a lot of vulnerability and, and courage to even be tested for the BRCA gene. I know that there are a lot of folks out there who think that they may be at risk and they're afraid to even take that step. Roseanne. So I commend you and that takes a lot of bravery to take that step. And you are proof that you can take the step, you can have the information and you can make it through. You can make the decisions to, you know, do, do the things that you need to do to keep your body healthy. Um, and you came out the other side of it and granted this was just back in January, but here you are to tell us, you know, you came out the other side.
Speaker 1:
16:34
So that's very powerful for people, I think as well to hear that it's, it's okay. You know, you can take the steps and were there, I'm sure there were times when you first found out that you had the gene, you know, that you really struggled, um, in your decisions. Can you comment on that at all for me? When you found out you had the bracket gene itself with the decision to remove the ovary isn't to do both the breasts and all that was it, did it just kind of once you knew you were like, yeah, of course you know, this is what we do. And maybe maybe it was how you felt. I'm just shed a little light on that whole process for people because I think it's a very intimidating to get to be tested for the gene. I don't know if you found that in your experience, but I hear a lot of people say that.
Speaker 2:
17:13
Yeah. Well, and you know, I think it was so caught off guard, I guess the pride, right? And what I think telling people and something I really believe in knowledge is power. But I think even more powerful is the fact that it's like we went there and so it was empowering to me to now that I, I have it's money and then I can make choices. And so with having my ovaries removed and the fact it's like a no brainer. And the interesting thing is it's also something that I don't talk about a lot and must your way. That is, I'm sitting here reflecting your mat a little bit like, Huh, is it because it you're [inaudible] hey did not really talk about that part of my journey and, but I think the part that when I found out about the back of TV, I also a big part of me wanted to ask her my birth mother's side of the family and so on.
Speaker 2:
18:15
I think like mother I am, I didn't introduce this in the beginning, but he was not a part of my life right now. It's like really do not know a lot of medical history around medical history. And so it me kind of me connecting with her and her family and her family I had been in touch with and stayed in touch with over the years and but not really other. And so we try to stay connected on Mac. And because of that, my birth mother and her sister and her brother decided to go get tested to see if they also had, and my birth mother, her sisters all have the of communication and her brother does not.
Speaker 1:
19:01
Thank goodness. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
19:03
I, I feel like it's part of the journey and also just a different part of my own journey if we connecting and supporting other family members in their own context of decision making in math. And so interesting to me to hear everybody's take on what they're going to do with their information and how they decide term how it is now.
Speaker 1:
19:25
I love that and I mean, that is just such great advice for anyone out there who's struggling with these decisions. I, Roseanne said it so well, knowledge is power and you always have a choice. And I mean there's, that's just such great advice Rosanne. Um, so thank you for that. Um, you know, I think there's so many layers we could peel away with this, but um, you know, for our listeners, I wonder if there's anything that you'd like to share that you wish that you had known at the time of the original diagnosis or before you started going through this. Is there, is there anything you wish you had known, um, that you, you know, you would pass on to other, um, other folks who might be at the beginning of their journey?
Speaker 2:
20:07
I, you know, I've been pondering that but a really long time because you had kind of prepared me with this question and they don't, don't have like a solid answer to that question. And I think mainly because so much of what I know or I feel like I've learned along the way and sure that's the best way I could have learned that information. I don't know if I'm making
Speaker 1:
20:36
no, I totally get this. Yeah, I think this is a unique situation because you and I were talking before, before we started recording and I, it's amazing how life prepares us and I, we, you were sharing your story with me and how you felt like life really prepared you before you ever got your diagnosis to handle it. And you know, I think that's an interesting thing to kind of pull out that we don't, you know, that I don't even think about sometimes or that we don't think about is that life is preparing us for a journey and that we're growing and learning in the things that we're doing. So to kind of to embrace the journey as we're going through it. You know, and I'm so I think that's kind of what you were getting too. You know, you, you were well prepared because life had prepared you, which gosh, that was a gift, you know?
Speaker 3:
21:21
Yes. All of that. Yes. No. What I maybe instead of what I would say, what if now maybe the biggest thing is, I think exactly what you said is that, and being moment in my was shaped by sound way and weather and whether you know what that's going to look like or you down. Um, it's pretty amazing how life moments really trajectory in life, if you will.
Speaker 1:
21:50
Yeah, that's, that's awesome. And you know, it's very powerful for anyone out there who's struggling right now, you know, with issues big or small, just trust that journey and embrace it because you never know what's down the road and you know how your journey today, your struggle today could be preparing you for what's to come, whether it's in your own life or your ability to help someone else. And, um, you know, also what I really connect with about your story, Roseanne is that, um, I love how you, you know, you mentioned in the beginning and you mentioned when you were talking before I interview that you know, you feel like this whole thing has been bigger than just you and you know, that you really, you really feel committed to kind of connecting with others and helping them through their own journey, which, you know, which I think is fantastic. Um, and along that line, um, another question on the list so there's no answer. It's all, it's all good. Um, but do you have any words of encouragement that you might offer women who are going through the same challenge that you've kind of been through or something similar?
Speaker 3:
22:51
Yeah, I would say really embracing vulnerability and meaning. And that doesn't mean every day quick. That'd be helpful. But really tuning into knowing what you mean, connecting with yourself emotionally, think that takes a lot of parents. They think it's so much easier and comfortable, not pay anything at all. Or to say I'm fine and fine or kind of, you know, sugar coat thing is that it's comfortable for people or anything. It's easier because you don't have to diabetes, you can move on and move along and so I think connecting with yourself and owning nappy is that the mindfulness really it's just noticing and being aware of what's coming up for you. What is do you have, what anxiety do you have, what scares you, what you know [inaudible] you worry and owning Mack p and finding and it's nothing. It has to be shared with the whole world.
Speaker 3:
24:07
It's finding people that you can be vulnerable with. For me, respect a blast of fresh air to know that it wasn't one more thing I had to carry and one more thing I had to hide. But there are people that I can be safe and open with and learn on. The second thing, I learned a lot about 19 attitude that with Becca healing part of my journey and still is now and like the start the day and the day with it mentally. A lot of people have journals and you know, different ways of doing it. For me, it's just my mindset and that's how I started my day. And again, like they ended that way and I truly learn what that really next book for Cancer 19 gratitude might be. You know, I'm so thankful for my family. I'm thankful for this, but really the Carinii I just remembered one moment. It's still fresh in my mind and I just had a hard grammy came out and this bad, exhausted could not like polio myself out of that. And I remember at that moment thinking, I'm so grateful to mark mercy because I cannot get out of bed. Right? It was that moment where I knew the chemo was working and so, and that was like my Aha moment back with attitude.
Speaker 1:
25:35
It's fantastic that it reminds me of what another quote that I really love and the quote is this, it is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful. Um, and, and I, you know, I really, I agree. Being grateful and you know, and every day and every moment can really change the way that we look at the world. Um, and I think that's very powerful. Now we haven't really touched a whole lot on the, on, on your, um, on your sport, on your running sport. And so to wrap up here, um, I wanted to kind of come back to that because um, I, you know, part of this podcast is the cast is connecting to you know, the ways that we are active in our world and how, you know, being active and exercising and you know, all of those things help to make us vibrant and bring us joy. And so if you want to wrap up and just share a little bit about, um, you know, how, how you're running also cause she's at runner listeners, she's been through all of this, all this cancer treatment and she's back to running, which I think is amazing. We get to share a little bit about how running makes you feel, Roseanne and you know, getting back to that and how that was part of your journey also.
Speaker 3:
26:39
Yeah. So many. I mean, when see my banner, I
Speaker 2:
26:44
know
Speaker 1:
26:45
that's okay. You remember it. If you're a to B or better just means you run. Right? That's it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
26:53
I feel though running it takes a lot of people. It means different things. A lot of people now, you know, no different running now, you know, more make up journey for me, me swooping for myself, my body and being grateful for my body, then I can move and that I can't do something so hard. And so when I ran over, when I'm training for a half marathon, right? I'm doing something every day to my mind to try and make money in. And you know, I try not to get caught up in counseling so much. Why would anybody ever was, but my body is trying and moving and I'm running and I'm meeting milestones and goals and so I think the running is just exercising in general. For me, it's about being amongst me physically span and again as the mind [inaudible] like Bobby's like go through, Oh man. And it's down. Get me through.
Speaker 1:
28:02
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
28:04
I think that if for many, again for me, no matter how slow Nav and getting from point a to plan B it squeaking data,
Speaker 1:
28:16
no,
Speaker 2:
28:18
I feel like the NBA then, was that like, did it?
Speaker 1:
28:21
Yeah, I think that's so awesome. I have the, I have a girlfriend. I didn't tell you this in our, in our conversation before we started recording by the girlfriend who lost her mom and her sister both to cancer. And, um, you know, of course I lost my mom and she and I have connected a lot over that, but she also is a runner. Um, and we often say that we just have those days where we're just grateful that we have our legs to carry us and that we're out in the beautiful fresh air and, you know, the sunshine or the rain, whatever it may be. And just, it's embracing that moment of gratitude, you know? And it doesn't matter how fast, how slow, it's just, it's just getting out there, um, and being so grateful for our bodies. So, yeah, totally relate to that. Um, well, wonderful. I, um, I would love to encourage people to follow Roseanne. Um, she is on Instagram at curls and style and again, you can go, can they find a link? They're Roseanne if they want to, um, purchase something from Stella and dot. For to raise money for women diagnosed with cancer. Is there a link on your Instagram?
Speaker 2:
29:19
There is a reconvene Instagram. Okay. By selling doc link and they can shop there. Send me a DM. I could totally help you out one on one. I do I mind priority in person parties. And I also, part of that platform really is about educating women about health prevention, early detection and how to mentally, physically
Speaker 1:
29:43
currently now. So that's amazing. So I encourage our listeners to follow Roseanne. And Rosanna, thank you so much for sharing your story, sharing your wisdom. It's so inspiring and I know what students going to reach out and touch some folks who are going through some similar struggles. So thank you so much for being with us and for sharing my mantra connected. We can rise. Thank you very much. Thank you for having me.
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