Chapter 25 - THE GAME”- Master the Six Layers of Reality and Change EVERYTHING

THE GAME”- Master the Six Layers of Reality and Change EVERYTHING 

What if your life isn’t happening to you… but responding to you?

In this powerful and perspective-shifting episode of Burn It Down and Begin Again, Erica explores a concept that will change the way you see everything: life as a feedback system—a game with patterns, levels, and rules.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, looping the same struggles, or wondering why things don’t seem to change no matter how hard you try—this episode will open your eyes to why.

Erica breaks down what she calls the six layers of the game—from the physical and mental, to the energetic, identity-based, collective, and ultimately source—and explains how most people are trying to fix their lives from the wrong level.

This isn’t about trying harder.
 It’s about understanding the structure.

In this episode, Erica shares:

• Why your patterns aren’t random—they’re feedback
 • The six layers that shape your reality (and where most people get stuck)
 • How your nervous system and identity keep you looping the same life
 • Why mindset alone isn’t enough to create change
 • What it means to operate from “source” instead of reaction
 • A real-life example of how shifting your energy can change your external world

She also shares her Challenge of the Week: learning to release what you can’t control and stop letting external noise hijack your internal peace.

This episode is deeply personal—dedicated to her mother, her children, and anyone who has ever felt like they were too far gone to come back.

Because Erica is living proof:
 You can rebuild. You can rise. And you can learn to play the game differently.

🔥 Burn It Down and Begin Again is part of the Chickology™ Podcast Collective — real women, real stories, real transformation.

If you’re walking through your own fire right now, remember:
 You are not broken.
 You are not too late.
 And you are never, ever alone.

🌸 About Chickology™
Chickology™ is more than a podcast brand — it’s a collective of strong, real women telling real stories. Together, we’re reclaiming our narratives, breaking cycles, and lifting one another up through truth, laughter, and raw conversations. Every show under the Chickology™ umbrella is created by women, for women, with love.

✨ Join the Movement
We’re always looking for bold voices and powerful stories. If you’re a woman ready to share your truth or host your own podcast with us, reach out! One honest truth at a time, we’re helping one isolated woman at a time feel less alone.

📍 Find Us

• Explore all Chickology™ podcasts at [Buzzsprout Podcast Directory link or Chickology website]
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💫 Because when women rise together, we change the world.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

What if the life you're living right now isn't something that's happening to you, but something that's responding to you? What if the patterns, the delays, the setbacks, and the loops you keep finding yourself in aren't random? What if they're feedback? What if life is a system that operates in a structure that is predictable and all you have to do is understand the structure to play to win? I've come to believe this very thing. We are living inside something that operates very much like a simulation, a responsive environment, a feedback-based system, a game with rules. And whether we like it or not, we're all playing it. The question is not whether you're in the game, the question is whether you understand how it works. Because once you understand the structure, you stop feeling stuck and you start seeing patterns. And once you see the patterns, you can change them and you can win. Welcome to Burn It Down and Begin Again, because sometimes the only way out is through the fire. I'm Erica, and this is my story, told one chapter at a time. Not to relive the pain, but to reclaim the power that was buried beneath it. I share it boldly because I know I'm not the only one. Too many of us carry stories like mine of trauma, silence, survival, and shame alone. But healing isn't just about surviving what hurt us. It's about becoming the people we were meant to be, how we can transform pain into purpose and rebuild a life on our own terms to show what is possible when we rise to the strongest version of ourselves. If you hear yourself in my words, know this. You're not crazy, you're not broken, and you're definitely not alone. This podcast is part of Czechology. Real women, real stories, and real transformation. We're here to break cycles, rise higher, and create lives that radiate power, purpose, and passion. So if you've walked through hell and you're ready to grow, evolve, and rebuild, then stay with me. There's hope here, there is healing here, and there's an army of us rising with you. Now, let's begin. Hi everybody, and welcome to Burn It Down and Begin Again on this beautiful St. Patrick's Day. I am Erica, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you. I've got a lot of new listeners, and if it's your first time here, one of your first times here, I want to thank you for coming and joining this tribe that has downloaded and listened to this podcast and supported me in the first year of this uh broadcast. I am halfway through that first year, and I just want to welcome you. Today's podcast is on St. Patrick's Day and is dedicated to my mom who stood by me in the darkest moments of my life, along with my children, and helped to pull me from darkness and despair. And this podcast is an embodiment of that journey. It's never going to make me a million bucks. This really is a labor of love. It's not a financial venture, but it is a gift to my mom in heaven, to my children, and to myself and to all of you guys who are trying to piece it together and fighting your way through life. Creating this podcast was not something that I ever imagined, but as it goes for me, my life just unfolded as it always does. And I was given this opportunity out of the blue by a wonderful friend who interviewed me for her podcast. I've known her since high school, and she invited me to join Czechology and be a broadcaster under that umbrella. So my hope at this podcast is going to be a voice in the dark for some of you who are coming out of the worst moments in your life, or maybe you're still in it, or maybe you're just struggling just to get by day by day. For those of you that need hope, to know that there is a life out there that can feel normal and happy. That kind of life, guys, is possible no matter where you are right now. Truly, I have walked through the fires of hell, something that scorched everything out of me, hence the title of this podcast, and allowed me to be reborn into this thriving person who contributes to life around her and the people in my life. I just don't take up space anymore. I'm not an energy sucker. I get to shine my light, uh light on a daily basis and give my energy to those in my sphere. And I am a contributing member in this thing, in this journey called life. And that is something that is such a far cry from where I was. There was a time that I truly believed that it was not possible for me to even be a viable member of society, that my life was over. I was in such a mental place of just disintegration. And that's what this podcast is about. It is about the journey to myself, back to me, and the journey that led me to this place of peace and happiness. And man, I want to share that with you because no matter where you are, I swear to you, guys, it is possible you can thrive. If you're just struggling or on your on the mental verge of collapse, if you're falling apart, if you feel like you're falling apart, I want you to hear my voice and know that you are not alone. It is my hope and my vision that I can share this story with you and lift you up wherever you are. And you know, briefly, I'll just tell you there was a time in my life when I truly believed, truly, that my life was over. I wasn't living, I was not even surviving. And my kids saw that, guys. They, my mom saw that, my friends saw that. They watched me struggle just to get through the day, to get out of bed, to take a shower. Literally, it was that bad. Somewhere along the way, I forgot what it was like to enjoy my life. And when I started to come back, I wanted to share with you this moment. It was a trip to San Diego about six years ago, very first vacation that I was able to take my kids on. And I rented a place in San Diego that was literally on the water. And it was my kids and their partners, and we were literally, it was right on the ocean. It was so beautiful. And I was still carrying a lot of weight on my body and a lot of emotional weight, but I was beginning to come out of that dark place and something had shifted. And I remember going out in the water, we were all sitting there on the beach, and I went out and I played in the waves, and I was diving in the waves. And when I came back, my oldest daughter said to me, She said, Mom, I have not seen you play like that in years. I it really stuck with her. Like I have not seen you have fun. And man, that moment has stayed with me because she was right. Everything in my life, when I look back, seemed like it was lining up to this moment, and I had this purpose, and I finally realized that I was taking my life back. And at that moment, I glanced at my daughter's boyfriend's shoulder on his left shoulder. He had a tattoo. It was the craziest thing. It's always stuck in my head. And it is apparently from an anime that they love. And he loved the saying so much that he tattooed it on his shoulder. And it says very simply, there will come a time when you believe that everything is finished. That will be the beginning. Oh my God, you guys, that was so profound for me. That moment like stuck with me like glue. I just like literally, life felt like it was this crazy story. And this was a moment in the story that was so profound. And truly, that was that trip was the beginning of everything changing for me. I was finally taking my power back, right? My very first tentative steps, I was still broken and bruised. And, you know, but I had been fighting for my life and I was no longer in that place. And I was venturing into the outside world and I was beginning to see that happiness was possible again. And I sat there and watched the sunset with my kids. We all sat in our chairs there on the beach, and I was watching the sunset, and I realized that I was a new person. Six years later, my life is completely unrecognizable. Not because everything is perfect, it's not, but pretty close too. I gotta be honest with you. My life is it is an it has been an amazing journey. And I think I needed that journey, and that's what I'm here for, you guys. I am here to share my journey with you and to let you know that whatever journey you are on, that's why this podcast exists. The mission, the mission statement of Burn It Down and Begin Again for me is to be a voice for anybody who feels like they've gone too far, they're too broken, they don't know if they can come back, anybody that feels like they're trying to start over but they don't know how. It is for the people who are struggling and for those who are just beginning to come out of struggling and need to find a path. The ones who don't see a way out and the ones who are beginning to find their way out. I've been in all of those places. This is a space where I get to tell my version of the truth about what I went through and what it took to rebuild my life and how maybe you can use some of those things to help rebuild yours. From the inside out, guys, and it's gotta be from the inside out. This is a place where I want to talk about healing, about discipline, about self-love, facing yourself, choosing to keep going even when it feels impossible. This is also for the ones who didn't make it. I have lost friends, dear friends, to addiction and depression. Uh, sometimes just the disease killed them, or sometimes they took their own life. And I carry them with me every single day. I do not forget about them. This is for you, you guys, wherever you are, whoever you are, if you're listening, you're in that place. If you just need to know that there's a friend out there, you need to know I am that friend, even though we've never met, most of us. You are not done. You are not beyond repair, and you are not alone. If I could find my way out from where I was, there is a way forward for you too. I swear to God, you've just got to commit. The baby steps, guys. It's sometimes it is literally the next breath. This podcast is me sharing that path. Not as somebody who has figured it all out, but as somebody who truly has walked through the worst addiction, the worst depression. I never thought I'd make it. Suicide attempts, you guys, I did it. And I am telling you, it is possible. If my voice can reach you in a moment when you need it, then I've done exactly what I'm trying to do. So welcome. Anyway, thank you for being here. So before we get in today's podcast, which I'm really excited to share because I really have come to believe that life is a game. Pretty simply, it's a game. And once you figure out the rules of the game or how it works, you can you can make it work for you. Before we get into that, I'm going to talk about the challenge of the week. I've been doing that for the last, I don't know, three or four weeks. And uh I think it's just something to let you know what I'm struggling with this week. My challenge of the week is basically surrender, okay? Some people call it letting go and letting God. People in program, they call it surrender. I don't really have a name for it, but it is a refusal for me to let outside forces shape my inner dialogue in my life for myself. Not letting that chatter and all this unrest, oh my God, you guys, that are going on in the world shake my peace and letting those things remain where they need to remain, which is in the background, and focus on those things that I can control. Last night I woke up to go to the bathroom as I so often do at my age at like 3 a.m. And immediately, I don't know, I started thinking about just stuff that had kind of filtered in through the day. That, you know, cost of groceries, the economy. I'm sitting here thinking about all that, you know, what's going to happen to my 401k? And then I was like, what are you doing? Stop. Because logically, I totally know that none of that is in control. I mean, I'm in control of any of that, but my mind still wanted to sit there and run through it. Like, why? I had to stop myself. And that's the challenge, right? Is not understanding it, just stopping it. Because your brain is going to keep circling around the same bullshit if you let it today. If it starts happening, I'm doing it, you got to do it. Pause and ask yourself, is there anything that I can do about this right now? And if it's a no, then it does not belong in that moment. We need to focus on living in the present. It doesn't mean that it's not real, of course. It just means that dwelling on it is not gonna make a difference. It's not gonna make any difference. Carrying that is not helping anything. All it's doing is taking your energy, energy away from the current moment and what you can actually do. And your focus always needs to be on that present moment, whether you're hanging with your family or whether you're at work or working on a project, taking a walk with your dog. Man, guys, open up your eyes, focus on what is in front of you. And if you find yourself doing that in the middle of the night, that's a hard one, right? That's where it usually gets me. I'll wake up and I'll just randomly start thinking about it. It's a practice. You have to start learning to let things go, right? So that's my challenge of the week. Uh, but today uh we are gonna get into today's podcast, and I'm simply going to call it the game. So I truly believe that life is a game and it's far more simple than we think, but we do get lost in our thoughts in our head, and we make life a lot more complicated than it is. And once you know the rules of the game, you can master it. Most people aren't stuck because they can't change, they are stuck because they're trying to fix it from the wrong level of the game, or they don't understand what level they're on in the game, and they're trying to move the pieces without understanding what's actually moving the pieces. So I want to go through those six layers. I'm gonna name them out right now, and then we're gonna break it down. So layer one is physical, layer two is mental, layer three is energetic, layer four is archetypal, layer five is collective, layer six is source. So stay with me because these are very real things, you guys. I mean, literally, if you start to understand where you are at in the game, you're gonna understand a lot of how your life is playing out and why. So let's talk about layer one, which is physical. This is essentially where most people live: your body, your job, your money, your schedule, your responsibilities. You know, this is the game board, right? And this is the survival piece of the game board. There's nothing wrong with it, it's essential, but if this is the only place that you're operating from, everything feels hard because you're in survival mode. You're trying to force change out of a place that you don't understand. You're operating in this survival mode place, this physical level, and you cannot change the physical level when you're operating from that mindset. That's where change actually starts. That's where it shows up, right? So layer two is mental. This is the code, your thoughts, your beliefs, and the story that you tell yourself all day long. This is where you start filtering reality. The same situation, two people, completely different outcomes. Why? Because of what they believe about it, because their mindset. This is why people start working on their mindset because it matters, but it only takes you so far because you can say the right things in your head all day and still not move. Which takes us to level three. Layer three is energetic. Okay, this is your state, not where you say what you believe, but what your body actually feels, actually feels and how it aligns to what you're telling yourself. This is your baseline, it is your nervous system, this is where self-sabotage also lives. Because your body isn't focused on your goals, it's focused on what feels familiar, which ties in one and two, right? So if you live in stress, survival, chaos, then your peace feels off, success feels off, happiness feels off, and your whole system is going to pull you back into one and two. It's not to hurt you, it's to keep you in what it recognizes, that familiarity. And that's why you can know exactly what to do and still not do it, right? So layer four is archetypal. This is very important. This is who you think you are, the role that you've been playing. For example, I'm the one who struggles, I'm the one who fixes everything, I'm the one who holds it all together. These aren't just labels, guys, these are patterns. And if your identity is built around struggle, you are going to recreate it again and again and again, not on purpose, but consistently, because identity protects itself. Okay, let's get to layer five collective. This is everything around you. Start to think about how one, two, three, and four, and now going into five, it all is separate, but one. The collective layer, again, everything around you, culture, expectations, what we've been told life is supposed to look like from social media, from our parents, all the stuff that comes in. This is where a lot of that pressure builds from what you should want, what success is supposed to be, how our lives are supposed to look. And if you don't question it, you end up chasing a life that doesn't even belong to you, that you don't even necessarily want. It's just kind of been programmed into you where you think that you should be, right? The big layer, this is layer six. It is source, it is awareness, it is the part of you that can step back and see all of it, right? That's the place that we need to get to. Our thoughts, our patterns, our reactions. When you can see it, you're not trapped in it. That is where choice is going to come in. You're not reacting, you are choosing, you are sitting back as an observer. Think about if you're on the ground and you're looking at a tree, what that would look like versus if you were 200 feet in the air like a bird and you were looking down on that tree and you could see not only that tree, but everything around it in the landscape, right? Everything is perspective. And that is what layer six is. It's the shift. Let's bring all of this back to real life, right? Self-sabotage. It is not random, it is not a flaw. It is what happens when one part of you moves forward and the rest of you just isn't there yet. You set a goal, but your body doesn't feel safe or it doesn't feel like it knows how to do that. You try to react differently, but your identity pulls you back. So you stall and then you feel like you're failing again and again. Not because you're incapable, but because your system is doing exactly what it was trained to do. It's not just try harder, because we try harder, we start to burn out, we start to have these failures, and we don't understand why. So the work, guys, is in the awareness. It's getting to that layer six, catching it in real time. This is familiar, this is my old pattern, and then trying to make a different move anyway. But we have to start somewhere. And you have to do it again and again and again. That is how you change. That is how you stop looping the same life. You don't master the game by controlling everything that's out there. You master it by understanding what level you're operating from and choosing differently. Most people are not stuck because they can't change. They're stuck because they're trying to fix life from the wrong level. Again, understanding, write them down, guys. Write down these levels, right? Uh, the levels are again, let's go through it: physical, mental, energetic, archetypal, collective, and source. All right, so let me put this real into like a real life scenario that you can actually see it. Say you want to change something, your health, your money, your life, whatever. And so you start at the physical, you make a plan, you set goals, and you say, This time I'm really gonna do it, right? That's layer one. Then layer two kicks in. Your mind starts talking. Oh God, this is gonna be really hard. I've tried this before, it didn't work. What if I fail again? You always fail. You never stick to anything. That is the code running. Then your layer three shows up, which is your body. You feel resistance, you feel tired, you feel off, you don't feel like doing it. Resistance, right? Not because you're lazy, but because this isn't familiar. So now you hesitate. Layer four, your identity steps in. This isn't me. I'm not the type of person who follows through. I fail every single time. I always fall off. And now you're not just resisting the action, you're defending a version of yourself that you don't even want. Layer five, everything around you reinforces it. People are doing the same things, the world is doing the same things, the conversations are the same, the expectations are the same, and you start thinking, man, this is just how life is. Why am I even trying? And right there, that's where most people stop. They go back to what they know. Same patterns, same results, but here is where it changes. Layer six, you can catch it. Not after the fact, but in the moment. You see the thought, you feel the resistance, you recognize the pattern, and instead of automatically going back, you stop, you pause, you begin to say to yourself, what would it look like if I made a different move? And what would that move look like? It does not have to be a big one, just a different one. You follow through once, even though it feels off and nothing breaks, so you do it again and again. We have to really go through, I believe, every single layer of this game to understand our patterns because patterns are very real things, you guys. Once we can go through layers one through six for every major thing that is happening in our life, we can master the game of life. And again, I think I've gotten to the place, which brings me back kind of to my challenge of the day, where my mind, because I'm human, right, starts this thing. Oh, I'm worried about this, I'm worried about that. Like, oh my god, the economy. What happens to my retirement? You know, my kid is doing this, he's having this issue. Oh my god, what can I do to fix it? This is that physical, mental trap that we get into, which takes us to an energetic place where we feel defeated before we've even gotten there. And this ties into my archetypal role as mother. That's how I see myself, as the fixer, right? And I go back to how I collectively fit into the structure of my family. All of these things have created a reality for myself that I have. Lived in most of my life. Now that I'm operating for the most part in source, and again, I'm human. I have my moments, man. Like, you know, I think I shared with you guys a while ago, but I was at work and I was focusing on something negative. And people are very attuned to my energy at work, especially because I come in and I know that I'm kind of known for being the mom of the store or the energetic good force of the store. And even my boss sees me this way. And I was complaining about something. It was the fact that I was getting a lot of early schedules and I was frustrated. And I kept focusing on this and trying to like force change. I would text her, I would, you know, email, I would try and set up like late scheduling. And finally she had to pull me aside and be like, man, you know, I'm struggling with this version of you. You come in, you are this strong energetic force, and I'm feeling this negativity. She felt it, right? And we had this great conversation, and I just felt moved to tears. I'm like, God, this is not who I want to be. Yeah, I'm I I understand that it's not fitting in with the other part of my life that I want. I'm just gonna let go. I'm gonna release, I'm gonna operate from source. I'm going to trust that everything's gonna work out. I'm gonna step out of this freaking story that I'm telling myself and I'm gonna release and let go. And I apologize to her. I'm like, man, this is not how I want to show up for you or my coworkers that I'm, you know, grumbly and frustrated about my schedule. You know, I understand you're a boss. You're not, you know, punishing me. You you have a schedule to keep. And this is, I'm stepping out. I am so sorry. I'm just gonna trust that everything's gonna be fine. Guess what, you guys? Guess what? The minute that I did that, the minute that I had this conversation with her, everything freed up and I started getting not all the shifts, more of the shifts that I want so I can do the other things that I need to do in life, right? Because for me, I like a later shift so I can get up in the morning and do all the other stuff that I do, go to the gym, walk my dog, do my nutrition, like all the things, and then take a nap and go to work later in the day. I don't get that every day, but you know, I'm getting it a lot more. And more than that, that inner buzz, that resistance, that frustration, that um uh resentment, I'll even call it call it, that I was feeling. How could I be resentful with my boss who's just trying to manage like 16 freaking people on the schedule? It was just me frustrated because I was really mad at myself because I wasn't able to get the things done in the time that I had. And you know, I am older. So if I work like an early shift, nine to six or seven, believe me, seven o'clock, I get off, I'm home by 7:38. I do not feel like doing anything, right? It's easier for me if I can work like a one o'clock shift and work until late, then I can get all my stuff done in the morning. But I was mad because I was not accomplishing the stuff that I wanted to. So again, looking at the challenges in our life, understanding where they're coming from energetically, how can we rise above them and step out of the situation, be that bird's eye view, right? Up in the sky where we're looking down on the tree, seeing all the different moving parts, why we are programmed oftentimes to, you know, feel a certain way, to act a certain way, the roles that we play in life, the societal stuff that's going on around us, the expectations of other people, and literally clear that playing field and get rid of that and go from a place of source where we're operating from our higher self. And for me now, and I I think it is never going to be necessarily, no, I don't know. It's it's pretty second nature for me now, but uh I still struggle. I mean, like that story I just shared with you. I think I really try and look at things from the perspective of the source and stepping outside so that I can stop and see all the parts, understanding that I need to live in the moment. I can't control everything. All I control is my mind, how I react to things, the love and the energy that I bring, and giving myself understanding that I had a lifetime of being programmed a certain way, that only in the last few years have I stepped out of that and began to see myself as a chess piece on a board for sure, but I am also controlling that board around me from the perspective that I am the one that is playing the chess game. And what kind of a game do I want to play? Do I want to get wrapped up in the lower base energies of things, the things going on around me? Or do I want to step into that higher perspective? And I think that's where meditation comes in and prayer, if you will. I'm not religious, I've shared that with you guys, but I absolutely believe in a higher power. And I believe, God, I do believe that I am being protected. I believe that we go on after death. I believe that I am surrounded by energetic forces, and I do not allow anything around me anymore that is of negativity. I can sense it immediately. I choose to align with source and with God and live a life that is pretty simple, right? I try and focus on what's in front of me and how can I approach it or tackle it in the best way. And that does come from source, and that oftentimes just comes from getting into a meditative state or a state of prayer when I'm struggling and asking for help and saying, gosh, you know, I'm struggling with this right now. I want help. I don't need it to be taken from me. I just need to find a path. Show me that next step. You know, I've shared with you the analogy of a car. My mom used to tell me this, honey, you know, when I was struggling, she says, a car driving at night from California to New York in the dark doesn't get there by accident. It has headlights, but it doesn't see beyond what the headlights, right? It just sees what the headlight shows and we can get there. So just focus on what the headlight illuminates. And I think that's what I kind of um I'm trying to do every day of my life. I remember that from my mom, those little lessons. And I try to just focus on what I can. I don't worry about what's too far in front of me, and I certainly don't look behind anymore. I am focused on what those headlights are illuminating and what I can do. So bringing it again back to the source, you guys. If you guys can operate from source, ask for help from um God, you know, whoever you believe that higher power to be. I definitely know that we are not alone and that we are spiritual and that this body is simply a vessel. And when we leave this body, we go on to another sphere. And I believe that we're surrounded by those energetic forces, both good and bad. And I think when we live in a state of negativity and doubt and self-hatred, we invite negative things, negative entities to attach to us. If we ask for help, we focus on the light and the love and the beauty that we have in our life that all ties back into gratitude, right? I believe that we can get out of these habits and structures that have been reinforced again and again in our heads just by growing up, by the stories we were told by our parents, by society. We are in control of that. Once we can see why our patterns are there and what patterns we have, we can take that bird's eye view from a couple hundred feet up above the ground and see everything going on around us. So that is my hope for you today, that you are going to be able to use some of this uh as you can and step out of your own patterns because again, this version of ourselves is something that we are creating and we are allowing to exist. If we can focus on the beauty that we have in our life and the things that we do have, start to recognize our patterns, use those six places of alignment, one being starting at the physical, and the last one closing at source, and try to always end up in source. I believe that we can change our lives from the inside out. Guys, thank you so much for being here and holding this part of my story with me. If today's episode resonated with you, please don't stay in silence. Share it with someone who might need to hear it. And if you're walking through your own fire right now, know this you are not too broken, you are not too late, and you are never ever alone. This is Burn It Down and Begin Again. I'm Erica, and I'll see you in the next chapter.