Chapter 32 - A Pause For Healing

A Pause For Healing 

This week’s episode of Burn It Down and Begin Again is raw, real, and unfiltered. 

Erica pulls back the curtain on what it looks like when life forces you to slow down. After pushing through long work stretches and nonstop momentum, her body finally said enough—and what followed has been a humbling, eye-opening health journey. From exhaustion and unanswered symptoms to navigating urgent care, medical leave, and finally seeking deeper answers, this episode is a powerful reminder that even the strongest among us are not invincible. 

Sometimes the lesson isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about listening sooner. 

If you’ve been running on empty, ignoring the whispers your body is sending, or putting off your own health while taking care of everything else, this conversation will hit home. Erica shares the importance of advocating for yourself, getting the care you need, and respecting your limits before your body forces you to. 

This isn’t a polished episode—it’s an honest check-in from the middle of the storm. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. 

Because healing isn’t always pretty… but it’s always necessary. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi, welcome to Burn It Down and Begin Again. Because sometimes the only way out is through the fire. My name is Erica, and this is my story told one chapter at a time. Not to relive the pain, but to reclaim the power that was buried beneath it. I share it boldly because I know I'm not the only one. Too many of us carry stories like mine of trauma, silence, survival, and shame alone. But healing isn't just about surviving what hurt us. It's about becoming the women we were meant to be, how we can transform pain into purpose and rebuild a life on our own terms to show what is possible when we rise to the strongest version of ourselves. If you hear yourself in my words, know this. You're not crazy, you're not broken, and you're definitely not alone. This podcast is part of Chicology, real women, real stories, and real transformation. We're here to break cycles, rise higher, and create lives that radiate power, purpose, and passion. So if you've walked through hell and you're ready to grow, evolve, and rebuild, then stay with me. There's hope here, there's healing here, and there's an army of us rising with you. Now, let's begin. Well, hello, guys, and welcome. And this is going to be a very short podcast. I am one of those very bad podcasters. I do not have a vault or a series of podcasts pre-recorded that I can use. I record them on a weekly basis, story by life, kind of running by the skin of my teeth. But I am sick. And as I shared with you guys last week, I had gotten sick. And long story short, uh, it started about the 20th of the month, and I had finished up on like a nine-day straight of work, you know, where I'm working really long days, and I got sick after that. And I called out for a few days and I was able to get a uh temporary leave of absence. And I also went on PTO. And during that PTO, I went to Mexico and I felt pretty good during that trip. And I came back and I worked another nine-hour shift when I returned. And by the next day, I felt myself getting sick again, and this time it is worse than ever. So this has been a journey for me. And I have a piece of advice for you. I don't know if anyone else is like me, but I do not have a primary care physician. I know that's irresponsible, but I don't. I go get, you know, my colonoscopies every few years. I schedule that through my, you know, insurance provider directly. And I haven't had blood work in like uh, I think it's been about a year and a half, but I haven't been sick. I haven't had anything majorly wrong. And if I do, I run to urgent care. Um, and that's only happened a couple of times because the truth is I just really don't get sick. And when I do, it's very brief and I can usually heal very quickly with uh sleep. But this is different, and I'm not sure why. So this has been like a freaking odyssey, man. It's like I need to file paperwork because I cannot go back to work yet. I'm actually extending my uh temporary leave to go until the 11th. So next week I'll go back to work. And, you know, you have to have all this paperwork filled out through the broadspire to make sure that, you know, you don't lose your job because you're out, excuse me, you're out, and uh, you know, they need to be able to verify that. So I've been doing it all through urgent cares and trying to get a primary doctor to actually see me because, you know, they're like, sure, we can see you in three weeks. Well, I need it now. So uh the first time I went in, they verified that I had a sinus infection. The second time I went in, they gave me an extended leave and they prescribed a whole bunch of medications for me, which I've been taking diligently. And I'm at the end of that medication cycle and I am still not well. And this has been an extremely humbling situation for me. I take care of my body, I take care of my health, and I've had nothing to do but lay in bed. And I mean, honestly, I've been so sick. It's like one of those things where you lay in bed and your butt hurts because you've been laying in bed so much. So I try and change positions. But the truth is, I haven't been like this. I think the last time I was sick like this, I had like an allergic reaction to mold in my 20s, and I was really, really sick like this, where I just get up and after five minutes, I'm just winded, you know? And so I'm not better and I still have the symptoms. And the biggest thing for me is the exhaustion. It's just like the mental fatigue, the physical fatigue. Yesterday, I think I slept 16 out of 24 hours. I would go to sleep, I'd wake up, I'd have some water. I've lost about seven pounds just because it's hard for me to eat. Um, my head hurts. Uh, you know, obviously I need to get in and see a primary care. So the good news is in all of this, I finally somebody got back to me and they were able to squeeze me in. And so I'm gonna have full blood tests run. But at the urgent care, they don't do that. They took x-rays and they said, I don't have pneumonia. But, you know, I've been doing a lot of Google doctoring, and I just I don't think it's what they told me that I have, which is a sinus infection. This is just something that is uh pretty intense, and that's why I really want to get the blood work done because you know, you never want to think of bad things into existence, but of course that pops into your mind, right? Like, what if this is something that's bad? Honestly, I think I probably have, I could have like a walking pneumonia that they weren't able to catch on the x-rays there at the, you know, they're not great x-rays at the urgent care. Um, who knows? Who knows? So I'm gonna run a full blood panel and finally meet this primary care physician who was actually referred to me by a friend who also works with me and loves this doctor, says they're really thorough and great. And gosh, they were able to open up a slot for me. So I'm really, really grateful. So I will keep you posted. But the lesson in this for me is have your ducks in a row. And it's really inspired me to do the things that I haven't done. You know, the full blood panel. Last time I had it done, I had amazing blood work, and so you know, I'm healthier now than I've ever been. So I've been putting it off. I put off the doctor. I do not like doctors and I don't believe in Western medicine. But guess what? I gotta go. So I'm gonna be scheduling my colonoscopy and my upper GI and the whole bit, all the things that you need to get done. A lot of the stuff that I've just kind of put aside, but it's been a real experience for me because I think there's a part of me that really believes that I'm superhuman because I do run circles around people half my age, because I have an incredible amount of energy and a capacity to do a lot of things and juggle a lot of things. And I don't know if it was just running on empty for a long time, uh, which, you know, I love my job, don't get me wrong. But ever since we started at this new location, it's been extra busy. And there's a lot of uh pressure just to uh perform, you know? And I do perform, but I think that prolonged working extra hours, long shifts, and then that nine-day stretch that we were not able to accommodate me for uh to get that split up. I think that nine-day stretch just did me in because it was at the end of that that I got really sick. And from everything that I can tell, I, you know, I might have adrenal fatigue. I don't know. I can't speculate. I'm not a doctor, and that's why I really want to meet with these guys tomorrow. And I've prepared this complete list of my family history, uh, my last blood work that I had done, everything that I've been going through with this sickness and all my supplements that I take, all the things that I do. And I'm hoping that they'll be able to give me some answers because this has been really humbling. I just really have not snapped back, and that is not like me. It is so not like me to do this. So, long story short, I am on a healing journey and I do not have the energy to record a real podcast this week. I just don't have the creative energy. I don't have energy to do much. I will get to the doctor tomorrow, and that's gonna be about it. And I'm hoping that I can heal, they can pinpoint what it is that's going on with me. And um, I tell you what, I'm more grateful than ever for the times that I am healthy because this has sucked. So, at any rate, that's it, you guys. I love you all. I promise next week I'll have a good episode for you. I've got a couple things in the works that I've thought about. And um, I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on with me, and I will see you guys next week. Thanks for being here as always. Thank you for following me on this journey. And again, this podcast is here for anybody that feels like they're lost, they don't know where to start, they feel like they don't know how to start over, maybe they're at the bottom, maybe they're almost at the bottom, maybe they're trying to climb their way up that ladder again. And I am here to show you it can be done. Uh, I encourage you to go back to listen to a few of my early episodes where I talk about my story, and it's pretty harrowing. And I really did think that I was not going to make it out alive, and I did. I have the love and support of my family. I have a beautiful life, I have a wonderful job, I have beautiful friendships, and I am grateful for everything in my life, most especially this week, the health that I have had leading up until now. So, with that, I bid you adieu, and I will see you guys next week. Thank you for being here and holding this part of my story with me. If you're walking through your own fire right now, know this you are not too broken, you are not too late, and you are never, ever alone. This is Burn It Down and Begin Again. I'm Erica, and I'll see you in the next chapter.