Chapter 37 - THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP- Having One True Friend Can Change Your Life

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP- Having One True Friend Can Change Your Life

From Rock Bottom to Reinvention: The Power of Friendship, Healing, and Showing Up for Yourself

In this special episode of Burn It Down and Begin Again, Erica welcomes her very first guest—her best friend Elise—for an honest, heartfelt conversation about friendship, resilience, healing, and the unexpected paths that can completely change your life.

Together, they share the story of how they met during some of the darkest seasons of their lives, the struggles they overcame, and the powerful friendship that helped them both rebuild from the ground up. From addiction recovery, trauma, loss, and depression to motherhood, entrepreneurship, manifestation, personal growth, and creating a life they genuinely love, this episode is a testament to what can happen when you refuse to give up on yourself.

Erica and Elise discuss the importance of having people who believe in you when you can't believe in yourself, the lessons they've learned through hardship, and why showing up for yourself—one day at a time—can completely transform your future.

They also introduce their exciting new venture, Take Us With You Official, a travel and lifestyle project built around friendship, adventure, experiences, and creating a life by design.

If you've ever felt stuck, lost, broken, or uncertain about what's next, this episode is proof that your story isn't over. Sometimes, the people who walk into your life at exactly the right moment help you become the person you were always meant to be.

Because healing is powerful.
 Friendship is transformative.
 And your next chapter may be closer than you think.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Burn It Down and Begin Again, because sometimes the only way out is through the fire. I'm Erica, and this is my story told one chapter at a time. Not to relive the pain, but to reclaim the power that was buried beneath it. I share it boldly because I know I'm not the only one. Too many of us carry stories like mine of trauma, silence, survival, and shame alone. But healing isn't just about surviving what hurt us, it's about becoming the women we were meant to be, how we can transform pain into purpose and rebuild life on our own terms to show what is possible when we rise to the strongest version of ourselves. If you hear yourself, in my words, know this. You're not crazy, you're not broken, and you're definitely not alone. But this podcast is part of Chicology: real women, real stories, and real transformation. We're here to break cycles, rise higher, and create lives that radiate power, purpose, and passion. So if you've walked through hell and you're ready to grow, evolve, and rebuild, then stay with me. There's hope here, there's healing here, and there's an army of us rising with you. Now, let's begin. Hi guys, it's Erica. Welcome to yet another week of Burn It Down to Begin Again. And I am so excited. I have my first guest ever. I bet you guys were getting sick of the monologues. Here we go. This is my best friend, the one I'm talking about all the time. This is Elise. Say hi. Hi, thank you for having me on as your first guest. It's kind of fun. It is really fun. I, you know, honestly, I've been meaning to get guests on for a while. And I just haven't had time, you know, with my busy life. And it, because it takes time to coordinate. I mean, even me and you, we like are together uh via phone. I mean, all day long, pretty much throughout the day, especially since I've been down with my illness. But I definitely feel like this is the perfect first guest because not only did we meet under unusual circumstances, great circumstances, it changed the trajectory of my life. Definitely, I believe in no ass uh meeting you provided me with a path and you you helped me in so many ways. I I cannot begin to tell you. And I believe that our meeting was meant to be you are the perfect guest. You have an incredible story of growth and triumph and life building and manifestation and all the things that I value. And so I'm just really thrilled that you're here.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Well, thank you. Yeah, I can't wait to dive in a little bit and share my story and part of it and our story as friends, and we'll talk about how we met and then a little bit about what the trajectory that our friendship has taken us.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

And I know later we're gonna be getting into, which I'm very excited about. A business venture. So you and I have done so many things together.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

We just try everything.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

We're like the crash test dummies, you and me together.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

So, like, well, it's so funny because I'll have like a random idea and I'll throw it out here like, let's do it. And this is vice versa. I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Some of the highlights, what are some of the really good ones that we've done?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Um, we've done parasite cleanses. Yes, we have. We've done coffee enema.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

That was the one that was standing up to me. You're like, well, let's do coffee enemas, and you'll provide all this information. And I'm like, well, that sounds great. Let's just do it, you know. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Some of the things, I mean, we've been on trips together, we've celebrated each other's kids' birthdays. We've done a lot.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

There's been a lot together, but we definitely have had experiments. And I mean, I think from the beginning, since you know, I started getting well, and the audience is already really, really familiar with my journey, and I'll probably just kind of refresh before we get into how we met, uh, just a little bit for those of us that are just catching up or maybe just joining the podcast. But I definitely, once I got to a place of development, you and I have always been along the same lines of thought. We believe firmly in manifestation. We believe firmly in, we have the same kind of friendship values. And I think that's really important. We're both very reciprocal people. We both are very um inherently, I think, kind people and considerate of one another. And we both have really good communication skills. And there is an age gap between us, you know. Um, I'm 56 and you are gonna be 40.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

40, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Yeah. But like, I know it's weird to think that like, you know, you were in diapers and I was like in my senior, well, junior year of high school at any rate. But but I mean, it it's just, I feel like you and I have a very definite meaning of the minds. And um, you and I are just you're, I think honestly, if I'm being honest, you're the only person that I can talk to with great frequency and for long periods of time without wanting to get the fuck off the phone.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

You're the only person I actually like to talk to for long periods of time, and it just flows easy and we can talk about everything and nothing or deep things, and we don't have too much hesitation calling each other out when we need to. And I feel like that's important in a friendship as well. It is just to be able to be honest with how how we feel, or if something bothered us or whatever, and that's and then we are both. I also think we acknowledge each other's intentions without I 100% agree with that. Yeah, uh, I think that's an important thing in friendship as well, to be like, she didn't mean this, but this is how it felt.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Right. And I think we can communicate that. I mean, perfect case in point. I just, you know, was the what we had happen the other day, which we've got this new business venture, which we'll get into, very, very exciting. And I posted something that was on my page, but I tagged our business with it, and you felt very strongly that it just didn't meet our brand standards. And you were super nice the way you put it, but and you were in the car, but you're like, you just didn't want it that way. I'm like, man, I I totally disagree. And you kind of stuck to your guns, and then I had this moment in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

I'm like, well, okay, so she has a master's in business administration.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Yeah, I have I do have an MBA. Yeah, and and that's something that you achieved. We'll talk about that too as part of your life process. But I thought she's doing all the stuff. She really, and this kind of goes into my sickness, but I know I sound really good today, but the truth is neither of us are doing very good. We're not doing very good today. Like, I have a headache and I'm like trying to shine it up. But I'm struggling today, and so are you, just mentally uh and physically. For me, it's been more my illness. For you, it's just doing too way too much. What time did you get up this morning? 2:30. Holy shit. This woman, well, wait till I tell you all the stuff that this woman does. Back to this whole thing, because I'm getting off subject. So I started thinking, like, man, you know, she's got this MBA. She was the one that spearheaded this. It really gave me something to work on when I was sick, and I needed that because I was feeling like I was losing my mind at home in bed. And I felt like it gave me something to pour myself into creatively, which was a lifesaver. And plus, I really believe this is something that she and I are always on this road to how can we make money doing something that we love? How can we manifest the life that we of our dreams? And so we've tried some different things individually, but I really believe that this collective effort is going to be great. But back to the story. So she had this very strong point that, you know, she was trying to make in a loving, wonderful way. She was very careful how she ordered everything. And I'm like, no, I just I don't, I don't agree with that. And then she's like, no, I really feel like it should be this for branding purposes or whatever. And then maybe two or three, maybe four interchanges into the conversation. It was all via text. I thought about it and I thought, you know what? It doesn't matter. I know she's, I feel like at this moment I'm being railroaded, but I know that's not what's happening. That is her personality, but in a good way, not in a bad way. She's very kind. She'll lay you flat while like saying, oh, some nice things and apologizing the whole time. But that's kind of how she is. Is that be is that a Virgo tendency? I don't know, but it's like a very, I mean, you're very ambitious, right? I mean, you're and I'm more laid back. Like we go to I keep getting away from the story. But anyway, I'll anyway. We have this nice balance in our friendship, right? Where like I'll usually let her pick the place to eat because she loves this stuff, you know. I'm like, I pick what you want, but if she wants to send me the menu and that doesn't sound good, I'm like, ah, that doesn't sound good to me. So yeah, there's a balance. But anyway, I just conceded. I'm like, you know what, whatever. And then she talked to me about it later and she felt bad. She was like, gosh, I don't want you to feel like you're I'm you're not valued or not heard. And that's not how I felt. I I, you know, at first I was like, she's steamrolling me, but that was about two seconds. And then I'm like, wait a minute, that's just ego talking, really, what's happening here. She has a firm idea of what she wants the brand to look like. She doesn't feel like this falls within the standards. She wants to keep it more set to like a um like a theme or like a like in constraints. And that's all she's asking for. And she's right, and she's also got more experience in this kind of thing. So it and we talked about it though, and that's the important thing. So the point being, I think we have a very healthy relationship in in many ways. So we do, I wanna, once we get in, I'm gonna launch into all this stuff. And this guy's is gonna be a little longer podcast than usual because there's a lot of things we want to cover. Um, because I think there's some really important stuff that we're gonna talk about today. But I did want to uh share with you uh what I always do. I start every single week with the challenge of the week. So I'm gonna start with you. What is your challenge of the week this week? Or do you want me to go first so you can think about it?

SPEAKER_01 8:30

No, mine is to slow down. I knew that. How many times have I told you that today? So, like I said, I was up at 2.30 this morning, and when I roll out of bed, there is no, there's like 90 seconds from the time that I get out of bed, turn on the kettle to start my coffee, and start working. So it's like very quick because I do have two little kids. They are two and four, and I try to get as much done as I can before they wake up, and they were up at 5.05. So it was like, um, and yeah, I'm tired and I do a lot and I do too much, and I am going to try to sleep in tomorrow. So that's that's my challenge for the week is my mind doesn't stop, and sometimes it prevents my body from stopping.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

You know, it's funny, when I was your age, I was like that too. I'm less like that now because I think I'm older, but I definitely can relate to that. And my kids were young too when that happened. And I think it's the most ambitious phase of our life. Yeah. Or you're building and your kids are young. And I think that balance of being able to enjoy your the kids' childhood, which I think you really do also. I think you are a great blend of working really hard, but you stop and you play, you take the kids' places. I mean, you just got back from like medieval times and you went to Great Wolf Lodge. And I do have to say, very, very sincerely, I have never in my life met a more intentional, thoughtful, loving, purposeful mother in the sense that you the kids are kids, but you treat them like they're kids, but you also treat them with accountability and that they're like young adults. I mean, in the sense that you don't baby talk them, you don't talk down to them, you explain things very well, there's consequences and actions, you you tell them how you feel. And I think what's an amazing um, you know, attribute for you, and it's it says a lot about your parenting, is your kids will actually say, you know, that my feelings, they're very young kids, you know, and both they will both articulate how they're feeling. They will articulate um, like you made me mad or you hurt my feelings or whatever, uh, very clearly. And I think that's so important. You've taught them how to name their emotions and be comfortable and free enough to discuss that. There is no more important thing in mothering, in my opinion, you know. So, but yes, I do agree, challenge of the week. You you do need to slow down. What's yours? Oh, well, it's been what it has been, which is, and I'm gonna say kind of the same thing, but long term. So I've been, you know, going on and on about my illness, and I am getting better. Right now, it's it's uh like very nonlinear, like it was last week, where I'll have the yesterday was the best day yet. I actually went out for a couple hours. I ran some pretty significant errands. I brought home a bunch of groceries. I went to Costco. I actually, you know, hauled some stuff inside. I I did some significant stuff, and I was tired for the rest of the day, but not horribly so. I think I'm paying the price today. So that's really my challenge is how do I get back to the place where I can go back to work here soon? Like uh I have to go back mid-June. That is a crunch for me. I want to go back to work, but my biggest concern is how do I know that I'm gonna go and go on these long retail shifts and not completely crash again? Because that's kind of what happened. I mean, yesterday, what I could have done in my sleep any other day, you know, I did, and now today I'm like, I don't feel so great. You know, I'll go home and probably sleep the rest of the day after this. But at any rate, that is my challenge of the week. And so I do want to get into today's uh interview. There's so much to cover, and I think I've already covered why you're my first uh guest. But let's start with this. Let's start with um a day in the life of Elise because you do have a crazy freaking schedule. So I know what your schedule is, but I want you to tell everybody else what a day in your life looks like because it's mad. Why don't you also tell them like what you do? Like how you because you know, we'll go talking about your past story a little bit, but what do you do? What is your I know, you know, what is your main uh you make really good money doing what you're doing now, all by your hard work, and it's all self-propelled. So just tell them about you, tell them about your family, and tell them about what a day in the life of being a lease looks like.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Sure. Well, I'm married, I have two kids, and my mother lives with us as well. Um I am an Amazon top creator, which means I post reviews to Amazon. Your platinum and yeah, top creator means platinum. It's yeah, I mean it's that high-level creator. Um I have built that in the past year. I was able to achieve my goal within six months. Um and like I said, I do have an MBA. I am a morning person, so it doesn't like pain me to jump out of bed and get to it. But I do wake up early. Typically, when it's not a day like today, I'll wake up around 4:30, uh, maybe five o'clock, and just get going. Um, my daughters are in preschool for most of the week, but on the days when they're not, I do try to prioritize family things and being with them. Yeah, so a day for me just looks like waking up and starting work.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

What does your work look like? Because I'm sitting in the middle of your workplace right now, uh-huh. But just to give them an idea of what exactly does an Amazon top Amazon creator do? I know you gotta tell these guys because they don't know.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

All right, so like, yeah, I wake up in the morning, I first start with running my numbers from the previous day, and I have a spreadsheet where I put all of that in because I track very closely my uh sales and metrics for different things, and then I immediately start responding to emails. I get between 10 and 100 a day, and sometimes it takes me up to three hours to even just respond, and then there's a lot of tracking that goes with within each of those. So emails are coming from brands or companies that sell on Amazon who want to work with me and potentially send me something or have me review an item for them. So I do charge for reviews, um, and that's just part of the process. So then once that's all done, I have to I do product information sheets. So I make sure I'm you know all the information about the product I'm reviewing. I write each one out by hand because it's easiest for me to absorb the information that way, and then I set up a filming area, uh, separate them into like filming areas. So right now we're in my office, which is where I film mostly clothes in here, and I do a lot, a lot of clothing reviews. Um, and that is kind of like what it's set up in here to do, but I have different areas throughout my house. So if it's a kitchen item, obviously I'm gonna do it in the kitchen. If it's a bathroom item, I'm gonna do it in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Well, I would like to just pause there because she didn't just do clothes, you guys. But it is true. She's made her mainstain, but she doesn't just do clothing, like she's got some really cool stuff. She's gotten to the point now that she's an Amazon creator that she's getting some major stuff. What is the coolest thing you've ever got?

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Probably I think it's the coolest, but it's you know, a $500 water slide bounce house for my kids.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

That is probably like that's a fun one.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

It's a fun one. I've got, you know, patio furniture. I've gotten a patio fireplace.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

How many refrigerators? How many recliners?

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Like oh my gosh, yeah. So many. Six recl six full-size recliners. I have a couch downstairs, a cloud couch that I got recently. Probably 15 refrigerators, four, five air conditioning units.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

I mean, these are all free. You guys, you have to understand when you get to that level, not only are people giving her the product for free, but you they're actually paying her to do the video as well, which is a really great setup. And yeah, so anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, but um But it does set me up for a burnout.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

So if I say yes too much, and I think that's at the point that I'm at is transitioning, like we will talk about, into this new venture that we are getting our feet wet in. I um need to scale back on the Amazon review front so that I can although Amazon is very much involved in our new business as well. And so I've learned a lot to be able to integrate that as part of our yeah, and I'm really excited to tell you about it.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I will tell you this she got me into the Amazon influencing, and in no way am I anywhere close to her, but I am a silver level creator. I'll be gold for sure by next uh quarter. I just haven't worked that hard for it because I, of course, juggle, but I have loved the journey too. I've gotten a lot of cool-free stuff too. Nothing like that. Dog trees, I've gotten a bunch of facial products, some fragrance, like that kind of stuff. But she's on the next level. She's gotten some very, very serious stuff. But this is something that is doable, and a lot of people, um, a lot of women my age, uh, a lot of stay-at-home moms, are in fact, you've inspired a lot of your friends to be doing this. And there's a bunch of people that are doing this because of her. She's she's not a gatekeeper. That's another thing I love about her. She's like, oh, oh, let me help you set it up. Let me tell you all about it. Let me how you do it. This is exactly what you do. Man, she'll send you a freaking spreadsheet and she'll tell you how to do it yourself. And so all these other moms that really need like a way to make money or me, she just brings you right in. And that's one of the things that I really, really love about you. So, anyway, let's get back to your day and then we'll get on to the next set of questions. But once you're done with all that creation stuff, then what does the rest of your day look like?

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Well, I have to like upload the videos, submit them, and then, you know, whatever was done from the previous day, I have to email the sellers and tell them. So it's a lot. I mean, there's a lot of administrative work that goes into it. And then, you know, my mom, bless her, goes and picks up my kids from school. Um, my husband works swing shift. And so we're kind of on opposite schedule. So today I saw him for 15 minutes before he went to bed. And that's just an interesting dynamic there. So we don't have help in the evenings, even though my mom is here. Um, but yeah, and then you know, I have the kids and we go to bed and I'm what time you go to bed usually?

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Eight. Eight o'clock. Yeah, early. Like me. You you and I, another thing, we're very much the same. I naturally wake up between 4 and 4.32. And perfect world if I'm not working a late shift. I really like to get to bed early. Um, and that can fluctuate if I'm working, of course, like a late shift. I don't have that luxury, but my perfect world, and since I've been home, ill, that's literally I'm in bed by 7:30, 8 o'clock, and I'm up at 4, 4.30. It's just the way it goes for me. So you and I are very much on the same page there. That is quite the life. And you know, I have to say, Elisa's, you know, got a beautiful home that they got into. Uh, they've I've known her in several locations, but um it was, and we'll talk about that a little bit in the story. But you were like in your own apartment, then there was the apartment with you and your hubby, then there was your first home, and then you sold that, and you're in this amazing, beautiful brand new home that is just like a dream home with a dream yard for the kids. She's got two beautiful little girls, and yeah, you have uh, you know, from the outside looking in, definitely a picture perfect. Like I know it doesn't always feel that way to you, but you have managed to making uh being a stay-at-home mom uh look easy, and it's not because you're doing all these things behind the scene and nobody knows. If somebody doesn't know you, they don't know. I know how hard you work, you know, and I know how fast your mind works. So the next thing we're gonna get into is our story. I want to talk about how we met and how pivotal this was to my journey. So my listeners know, if they've listened, that I, you know, had uh come from a toxic marriage that disintegrated. I fell into uh alcoholism and depression. I really, really struggled. It almost killed me. And Elise was very much a part of that journey. Um, she knew me when I was trying to get sober and then also when I was falling apart, and she was pivotal in that recovery, and I'll explain. But basically how we met was we met in program, NAA. And in the beginning, uh the only way that I could get sober was to throw myself into, you know, everything I could into getting sober, and that was program for me, which was very important in that part of my life. So I went to this morning meeting and I didn't know her, but she would always come in an athletic gear because she was, you know, very gym-oriented. And what was the line that you used to always tell everybody?

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Congratulations for showing up for yourself today.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Yep, that's it. And that was her thing. So whenever she would get called on to talk or she would volunteer to talk, that was her opening kind of theme. And I remember thinking, you know, oh my gosh, she's just incredible. Like, you know how you get impressions of people, and like she would share so like with so much confidence, and she was so strong. And, you know, I was just like really, I kind of revered her because here I am, this new person coming in sober. And she was one of those people that I just when she spoke, I really perked up. Well, one day, um, I chair in group, it was a pretty big group, and you'd share, you just out of the blue came up and like, hey, you know, I don't even know how we got to talking, but typical you, hey, you know, I like to go for a walk in the morning. Before meeting or after meeting, do you want to join me? And I'm like, sure, you know, and that was it. Like, I don't know. Next thing you know, like all of a sudden I couldn't live without you. And we were like fast friends. Yeah. And there, I don't ever remember like even a growth of the friendship. I think I felt like from the very beginning, we just like, it was just like it was meant to be, like we were just best friends, and we just evolved from there. And so my life at that time, they already know about it, but I was struggling and I did have a relapse. But I want you to talk a little bit about your life because when I met you, it was very different circumstances than, and this was in 2018, by the way, when I met her, very different circumstances than it is now. Um, tell me a little bit about how you got to that point in your life, about your life, what got you there, what brought you to AA, and then when we get caught up from there, I'll have some more questions. And I also want to share a little bit more about the journey after that. But please tell me everything about you that you feel comfortable sharing about your life, because you have come probably farther than any person I've ever known. Honestly. Thank you. I mean that very sincerely. I think you'll agree when you listen, but please, no pressure, no pressure, but like tell me about you.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

So I am a Navy vet. I joined the Navy in 2007 and was, you know, very gung-ho and excited about it, like I am about everything I do. I really throw myself into it. Well, in 2009, there was an assault incident where I was horrendously assaulted, and um, I began to have seizures from that experience. And so the Navy had to kind of put me in a holding pattern while they try to figure out why I was having seizures, but I was not truthful and forthcoming with the fact of my assault because I didn't feel like I would be believed. Um and so I had hid that. Well, the Navy ended up processing me out after a few, it took them a few years to to do that because I was continuing to have these seizure incidents. Well, then I kind of, you know, was struggling emotionally, trying to figure out like what who am I? What am I gonna do with my life? And I just didn't know. Um, I will jump back a little bit and say that I did graduate high school when I was 16 years old, and I started college when I was 16. So I was very young and at that time didn't know what I wanted to do either. So after three years of college, that is when I joined the Navy because I didn't have a direction and couldn't pick what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

And a quick interjection, I will say here too, and I've said this to at least many times, but she is legitimately one of the most, and I I think I'm pretty intelligent. I have never had my IQ tested, but I mean, I'm not, you know, I'm smarter than the average bear, but I wouldn't consider myself brilliant. I would consider you brilliant. I genuinely mean that. Like the person that graduates high school and goes to college that early, there's a reason for it. And all you have to do is sit with her in the right environment. I'm not talking about the mom environment where they're talking about like, you know, patty cake and like what snacks they made for the kids. I'm talking about like an intellectual environment or the way her mind works with business. And it's apparent to anybody that you're you have a big fucking brain. Like it's huge. Like she she just like as she does random things that she can remember. Like, how do you even know that? She's like an encyclopedia. I mean, I have, I know I've got my AI I can go to, but I don't need to. I can literally just call my best friend and be like, hey, you know, what about this? And she'll go, oh yeah, she'll rattle it off. But anyway, that being said, I would imagine that there's a lot of pressure when you feel like that much going on inside in terms of your intelligence, but you did feel like you had a lot of pressure to figure out what the hell you wanted to do, and you chose the navy.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yeah, yeah, well, and part of that reason was because I asked my boss for a raise, they said no, and I needed health insurance, and I couldn't afford to move out of my parents' home and I was 21. So I'm like, okay, well, let's try something different. Yeah. And I'm have never been afraid or scared to jump into something and fig because I know I can figure it out. I can figure it out. So um, even if it's hard, I can figure it out. So, anyway, going back to getting processed out of the Navy and trying to figure out like what my life looked like at that time and sitting with post-traumatic stress from the assault that I endured and just kind of burying that, and I think that eats away at you, at a person, and it did at me for me. And I was afraid to tell my family. I had ostracized myself, I started lying a lot, I just didn't know who I wanted to be or so I started drinking a lot, and I was drinking as a coping mechanism to suppress um the memories and everything that happened from the assault because it was really bad. So it got to a point where I was living in this place called Veterans Village, and it is in the ghetto in Las Vegas, and it's infested with cockroaches, and I would wake up just covered in cockroaches and drinking myself to death. Well, it did get to a point where um there was a guy a couple doors down who took me to the VA hospital, and I was put in patient for five days or something, and I was just ready to be done. And even at that point, I wasn't ready to be done. So I had moved out of Veterans Village because they said that I couldn't drink anymore, and so I got an apartment that was vacant. Uh, and I was sleeping on, you know, an old mattress on the floor. And have a vehicle, nothing. Nope, I didn't have a car. I didn't have a lot of people. And how old were you at this point? I don't know, but it was in 20 like 16 or 2015 or 2016. And during that time it was really bad, and I, you know, was ostracized from my family, and so I attempted suicide. Like seriously, I was just done. I was just done. And I took a lot of pills, and I drank, you know, a fifth of vodka, more than a fifth of vodka, it was like a handle. And just I slept for three days, and I can't even believe I woke up. And when I did wake up, um, there was a note from the police on my door for a well check because I had texted my sisters just saying I love you, and then nobody heard from me for days. So um, my older sister Robin did reach out to the cops and just ask for a well check. So, but they didn't come in, they didn't find me, and that was when I woke up and was like, Okay, well, that didn't work now. What do I do? So I went back to the VA hospital in a very shattered state, started the process of becoming well. I was able to finally break down and be honest about the assault. I was heard, which I know so many people aren't heard by the VA, and they did help me with my PTSD. So I started going to therapy and therapy groups, and I was going five days a week. And then I started going to AA and I was going every single day, sometimes two times a day, trying to just stay. And then the VA did put me in a PTSD treatment program, and that honestly was revolutionary for like my mind and thinking because I was able to address and really in a controlled setting in very intense circumstances that in a safe way and all of those things get through and address what actually happened. And so after after that, I came back feeling well from treatment center, and I had met you after that.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

I don't know how long after that. I will say on the PTSD, I do have a distinct memory at the beginning of our friendship. You and I had gone into a Home Depot for something, and we were going down one of the aisles, and there was like a couple of guys that were walking in our direction, and we were kind of like in a you know, home, you can feel isolated in some of these aisles in Home Depot. It's like, yeah, it's Home Depot. There's nobody else in the aisle. It was me and you. And then all of a sudden, I remember you're like, I have to get out of here. I'm like, what? It was just such a far cry. We had been laughing and talking, and you'd gotten quiet. I didn't think much about it. And then I didn't even notice the men really. But you had to get out, and you, you know, we rushed out of the store and you just explained to me, I just had this panic attack. You know, I saw these two guys walking toward us. It was kind of an enclosed environment. This happens sometimes, but I remember that, like, wow, like because you know, you hit it so well, you know. I mean, and I didn't want to say it's hit it, none of us wants to live in our trauma, but like you were managing the trauma. But that was a moment that I'm really realized, like, wow, she she does have PSD. Crazy, like, you know, and um, but yeah, I you're not like that anymore. I think you've come such a long way, but but I do remember that was a process, and that's when I first really realized that you, you know, had the PTSD so so badly. And the interesting thing is too, which I need to bring up, I do not drink anymore. And I'll tell you, for me, I firmly believe that I know that you drank, and I think it was you drank like I did, you drank to die, but I think it was a different kind of drinking. I drank to die, like very seriously, but it's also very deeply rooted in my DNA. I believe that I could never pick up a drink again, and nor would I want to. I love my life without any substances. I truly do. I prefer feeling my feelings now. That took time, but I also drank to not feel and you know, to bury things, and I got to that same place as so many people that drink do, where you get to the point in your alcoholism where you're just like, I don't want to go on anymore. This is life. And I had that similar experience, and we've actually known several people together uh between us that have got died from drinking, you know what I mean? Whether it be on purpose or not really on purpose, but on purpose kind of thing. And it's taken them out. So we're very lucky. But um, I will say that that is something that you can do that I cannot do, which is drink. So she got to a point in her healing, in her journey where she knows herself, you know, and most I do not do not recommend this if for most 99.9% of people. I never questioned it with her because she is so self-aware. You're not gonna even get a beginning to understanding of how self-aware she is from this interview. But when she made a decision to have a few glasses of wine and she managed it well, I never questioned it. And you are very able to have a glass of wine and stop. I was never able to do that. Um, I was never able to just stop with one. I had to drink to oblivion. So I personally can never drink again. You can. It's actually a perfect situation, you guys. Like, we'll go out to brunch or whatever, and I'm like, I'm designated, and she'll go have a few glasses or whatever, and she's great, or dinner, and I'll drive. So it's it's the perfect setup. But you can effectively and and drink well.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

And I think because I was nervous to try. And the reason that I the first time that I did have a drink, I was actually I had started dating my now husband, and he was a big drinker, and we had gone to watch a football game, and I was like, I think I'll try a beer, and that was that was interesting, but it was no big deal. And I was like, Oh, okay. Well, and they say, like, for most alcoholics, you just go back to the place you were, but I was, you know, I never have to really feel away.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yeah, I don't think you fall into that category. I mean, for me, I know that when I would have like periods of sobriety and then you know, I'd relapse, I was worse than I was before going, you know, going off of it. And then so I'm very typical of an alcoholic in that. And I think most alcoholics are like that. So it's really important to hear that, you guys, if you're struggling with drinking. Don't go try that. Don't try to try that. That's just forever. She is the exception to the rule. I am the rule, you guys, and I would never dream of picking up a drink or even drinking something. I mean, I will cook with alcohol, but it cooks off, right? I mean, it's different, but I would never dream of that because that will lead me to no place good. But for you, you've been able to integrate it into your life and understanding all the nuances of your life, I understand how that works. So anyway, now I meet you and we're in program, right?

SPEAKER_01 35:02

We're in program, we're doing that, we're going to the gym together. I meet my husband, we're dating, we end up getting, we get married, and then because the main reason we wanted to have kids, and at that point I was a little bit older, I think I was 35. Um, really wanted to start a family. Well, we didn't realize it was gonna take us so long. So, and that was a really, really hard few three years. You want to talk a little bit? Trying to had 10 over 10 chemical pregnancies. I had miscarriages where I had to have DNC surgeries, um, and just that process of hope and disappointment over and over and over and over again, and trying is exhausting. And then on top of that, my husband had testosterone issues, but we he couldn't get on testosterone because it lowers your sperm count. And there was just like all these nuances to it that just made it so frustrating and hard and emotional process. But you know, we do have our we were lucky enough to get pregnant and stay pregnant, and then got pregnant and stayed pregnant with my youngest daughter, and we're grateful for both of them. So and then, you know, I felt like I did get to a place where I also needed mom friends who were my same age, so I built a community, and then I felt like I needed something for myself. I love doing adventures and experiences with my daughters, and you know, it's a dream of mine to just travel. So I'm like, I want to be able just to fund traveling, kind of that that's kind of how this snowballed too. So that's why I started the Amazon Influencer program was just to have additional disposable income to travel and pick up and do whatever I want. Go to lunch, go to dinner, have fun experiences. Um, and that brings us to where we are now, which is this new business venture we have.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Well, before we get into our business venture, I did want to talk a little bit about when after I met Elise, my drinking was not done. And I had a couple of little relapses, but I think the big, big, big relapse happened um after my mom died. And that was the one that put me in the hospital. And there was a point in time when Elise and her husband actually took me into their little apartment in their spare bedroom and allowed me to come off one of the worst vendors I had been on. Um, it was just awful, and took care of me and fed me and like, you know, I mean, just did all the things that you wouldn't expect somebody to do for you. And I'll never forget that because at that point in my life, I think my kids, they will never, you know, they never gave up on me. But I think there's a part of you when you're a kid, you know, especially a young adult, and you see your mom killing herself and she just keeps falling back. There's a part of you that has to start letting go and being like, okay, I love my mom, but there's a good chance that she's not gonna make this out of this alive. And I know my ex-husband definitely will tell you he didn't think I was gonna live. My kids never said that to me. They always believed in me, but I think there hadn't been a little bit of separation there. They weren't equipped, nor should they ever have had to take care of me. So she stepped in and did, which I didn't have anybody else to do, because my mom, who was my main source of, you know, uh friendship, and she really was with me. She was gone. So that really was a pivotal moment in my life. And I did end up, of course, getting sober, you know the story. But that was where I've I realized this is a, you know, I mean, I knew it, but this is a lifelong friend. This is somebody who, you know, puts her money where her mouth is. She was willing to, you know, go way out of her way. And I was a mess and take me in for, you know, I don't know, I was there three or four days and and just look out for me and and take care of me. And I needed somebody to believe in me. And we have come so far together, you know, at least shared just some of her journey, but you know, having kids and all that. And I was getting sober, and you know, I've been sober, I don't know, six years or seven, I don't even know. It's it's been a bit since my mom died. I I had my last big relapse right after my mom died, and that was my life-changing event. But um, I definitely would say that we have watched each other grow. I've seen you go through, you know, the loss of the pregnancies and all the emotional, and you've watched me go through, you know, from being depressed, learning to build my life, learning how to like recreate myself. And I I do not even recognize me from the person that I was, and you were a huge, huge part of that because you were uh supportive without being, you know, I don't know what the word is, but you know, some people are so supportive, it's just like, oh yeah, you know, and it's just all sunshine and roses and lollipops and like, you know, no depth. We never had that. We all you always were very honest with me, uh, but you listened to me, you validated me. And I think that was really all I needed was somebody to just you really do that for me. And then we always had projects and things we were doing too. So I felt like not only it was a friendship that fed me emotionally and spiritually, but I think you also challenged me and to do things and to step outside of my comfort zone because I was just so fucking defeated, you know? And I felt like I just was worthless and like I was coming out of that place, and you would give me distractions, like all kinds of things, like you know, oh, let's go to the gym. And then we were into saunas, and then we were into fucking coffee enemies, and then we were trying this and trying that. We always had something going on, and that was a pivotal, very important part of my development because I felt like there was good distractions always going on. And I do want to get into the fact that you and I have lost a fuck ton of weight together. Yeah, so I've lost like 70 pounds, and you've lost how much? 70 pounds. Okay, we both lost 70 pounds. It's crazy. Like when you look at pictures of us, if you actually go to our channel, which I'll just share it now, it's called Take Us With You Official, and I'll explain what that is in just a minute, or at least can explain it. But there's a video in there where exactly in the beginning of where it shows us through thick and thin. Man, girl, we were chubby, you know. We just like, you know, we were so much weight. And we didn't do it uh just by motivation. We absolutely use GLPs, and that's a very big part of our lives right now, is peptides. And that's something that I know it's a very popular thing in the you know, trendy. We've been doing it for a while, and let me tell you, uh I think my stack's a little bigger than yours, but maybe not. What's your stack right now?

SPEAKER_01 41:31

I not much.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Not much.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

You're doing some stuff, yeah. Some I'm just not as diligent because that takes time.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

What do you take right now?

SPEAKER_01 41:41

I take B12, I take NAD, I take terzepitide, I take when needed, BPC157, and that's just you know, if I'm in pain or something's going on, I feel like I need a little extra healing. And then I did just cycle a big stack recently in April of thymosin alpha one, MOTC.

SPEAKER_00 42:05

Did you use thymoline or thymose alpha one? Both. You're on like uh just a a dose, a small dose of trusepatite to keep the appetite at getting in.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Just when I need it, but like if I know I'm going on a trip or something, like I'm not gonna eat because I want to enjoy the food. You know, I'm not gonna take my I'm not gonna take my trisepatite, I should say, because I wanna and you know, and then I just take a microdose as needed. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

Well, I'm gonna be on it for the rest of my life, and I'll tell you, not a big dose, but a micro dose, because I am a huge believer. I have a very big stack, and I think that that's one of the reasons I wasn't hospitalized, because as you guys know, I had bronchitis, walking pneumonia, and fungal infection on my lungs. Most people would be in the hospital, especially at 56, but not me. I was able to recover at home and do remarkably well. And my stack is very big. I'm on reta, not TRAS anymore. Um, I do the RETTA, which is so biologically altering in so many ways with your blood sugar and all this stuff. And then I do BPC157, MOTS, I do glutathione, I do NAD. Um, I do what else have I got? Thymosa alpha 1, I'm on SS31, I'm on GHKCU, and then I just got off a cycle of Pineleon, um, Fisugen, and oh, there's another one. Um, oh, what's wrong with me? It's another one that starts with a V. We could do a whole episode of how we got into peptides. Yeah, but I really believe that not only is it helping me just maintain, you know, uh weight because it's a lot more. I don't take enough really to markedly change my appetite. It's more for the uh effects of uh just like insulin resistant. Exactly. Inflammation. Exactly, inflammation, exactly. But I in fact, we should do an episode. I don't want to waste too much time on that, but that was something that you also got me into. You all the things I get. You started saving me all this peptide stuff, and like we started like, let's try it. And I think the first thing we did was thymosa, alpha one, and epithalion, which is really wasn't that the first thing we did? Thymolin. It's thymolin. Wait a minute, epitalion and thymolin. That's it, that's it. It is thymoline. We did that. And then, of course, we did the GLP, which is what caused us to lose so much weight. So we've been thick and thin. Literally, we can say we have been together through thin and through thin. I mean, legitimately. So that is one of the things that we did together. And that feels really, really good.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

So I think and it's fun to have a friend support you in whatever journey. And I think that whether it's trying to rid your body of parasites or going to the gym or losing weight or, you know, whatever, showing up for each other just as emotional support, it's nice to have somebody else on the same journey.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Our new venture, and I'm gonna have Elise explain it because it really was her brainchild. But she and I are always looking for ways to fund our lives. And I do work a full-time job, but I do, you know, I do the peptides and I'm an affiliate for them. And you know, I do the Amazon influencing. And then of course I've got this podcast, which isn't making me any money, it's a labor of love. But I do have things that I do. So while I was sick, she just had this brainchild where she's like, let's do what we're already good at. I have an idea. I was like, I gotta talk to them and like, you know, we travel and like we want to do this and we want to manifest this in our life. And we're both big manifestors, you know, like believing in this stuff. And so she explained this concept to me. I'm like, fuck yeah, let's do it. So, anyway, which is very typical of us. So explain this wonderful thing, and it's already taken off. But guys, she is a fucking genius. She's already got way further than I would have got on my own. She's already got us affiliate, she's already got us Amazon influencers with uh take us with you. You can literally go on our landing page and you can like find the experiences that we go on, the products that we buy, you can get linked to our YouTube account, you can get linked to our social media, so many cool things. And she did 95% of the work because I was able to produce some videos because I'm laying in my deathbed there, right? But I was able to like pull together videos, but she had a lot of these amazing ideas. So, without further ado, why don't we introduce them to our new really exciting business venture that's going to fund our lives? And you guys can help us by joining along.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

So it's fun. So the main thing that I was thinking is like, how do we get paid? You know, you see travel influencers and they're like going places and like hotels are like giving them money or not even that, but just like allowing them to stay for a few years. And our friend, or your friend really, but our mutual, my future friend, um, who I will not name, but she has got a lot of followers a lot of followers, and she does she gets free stays from different hotels in town, local places, also non-local places, like hotels around Disneyland, Great Wolf Lodge, she just got back from, like some different things like that. So I'm like, I'm really smart. I think I feel like there is a way to that's right. Own it. There's a way that we can do this. And in my head, I'm like, Erica takes more pictures and videos than anybody I know. I'm not good at I can attest. I was Japanese in my last life. Go ahead. Literally the worst. Uh she has documented every single one of my kids' birthday parties because I haven't taken one picture. Just so you know, that's like the difference.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Attribute videos at the end who gets to post them.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

I'm like, okay. So like there is a way to do this. Now that I know and am confident in the Amazon influencer space, this is something that we can do. So I had brought it up like, what do you think about a travel channel? And immediately I'm like thinking of the avenues to monetize. And I'm like, well, we have to start an Instagram, we have to start a TikTok, we have to start a following of some kind. That way we can get into some of the higher level affiliate programs, this and that. So it's called Take Us With You Official.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

I think we had to have that official on there because it was already Take Us With You. So if you look us up, it is under Take Us With You Official. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

But the the main brand is just the reason for Take Us With You is because it's like we want to come along. Whatever you're doing, we want to come, but we also want to bring you with us. So sharing the experiences we've had, things we're doing. We both are big foodies. We love to dine out, doing restaurant reviews, reviews of fun places that we go, experiences we have, travel destinations, all of this, hotel reviews, you name it. It's all under the umbrella of Take Us With You.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Yeah, and we've put together some really fun videos so far. We've had a fun, you know, a couple little friendship videos, because the whole premise is best friends that love to travel, eat, and do fun things. And we put together some great travel videos. I've been able to use archive footage that I've had from a lot of my great European trips and stuff like that to create some really cool or even local trips, you know, our trip to New York and like just some fun videos and stuff that we put together. We are intending uh to have adventures together going forward. We just haven't been able to really do that as of yet because I've been ill, but we do have some fun stuff coming at. But that being said, how are they going to find us? Where did they find us on social media?

SPEAKER_01 49:11

So you can find us YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram at take us with you official.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

Yep, just like that. And you'll see a picture of the two friends with their arms around each other at the back. It's an you know artistic rendering, of course, and it says Elise and Erica. That's how you're gonna know us. That's us.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

If you go to our Instagram page, it's in our bio. So just find us on Instagram or TikTok and then click the link in our bio to go to our landing page.

SPEAKER_00 49:34

So yeah, go to our go to our social media page, find us there, follow us, and then you can get all of the links to our bio. And from that, you can go to the Amazon page because you might see some cool things, you know, that we are using or whatever. We have lists of different things you'd need if you went on a trip somewhere, what you might take at a beach, uh, bag to a certain destination. All of these things are linked um through that landing page or that website that we at least set up. So very excited about that. And then, of course, you know, for manifestation purposes, I would love to eventually myself go part-time and then eventually, as I get closer to retirement age, to be able to basically live off making a living, doing what I love, which is I love this kind of stuff, communication, I love anything creative, I love to write, I love to uh be on social media and be a part of that. That's just something I love to do, and I know it's the same for you and have amazing adventures while we're at it and share that with the world. So it's a win-win all around. So as we're wrapping this up, because there's so many things we could talk about, but I wanted to talk about your philosophy right now. Like, what can we take away from this situation with you? What do you believe now? What are the things that what are your hopes? What are the things that drive you? What motivates you? What sums you up right now? What's your what can you give as a takeaway to the listeners that are listening to us right now? And the future, talk about the future.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

One of the things I heard this in a podcast somewhere, and they say that people always overestimate what they can do in a year, but they underestimate what they can do in three. And looking back at the trajectory of my life, you talked about our belief in manifestation. If you have a vision, you can't just think something and then it exists. You have to take steps to do that. Absolutely. I do believe that working hard, being consistent, and enjoying life all comes together. I feel like if you take the next step forward, the path will reveal itself.

SPEAKER_00 51:31

I agree. And I would say to add to that, I think it is so important. I've learned that having the right circle of people around you. Now, I don't have a big circle. I'm one of those people, and I think you have more people than I do. I am very selective about who's in my social circle. And I know a lot of people, I'm friendly. You could take me to a party, I could make friends with the wall. I'm that guy. I mean, I'm friendly. I know, you know, a lot of people, but I'm very selective. And I believe that the people that are in my life that are part of my inner support system are people that I could really count on. Like I know without a doubt that if there was something catastrophic going on or something that I really needed, something maybe catastrophic. And I called you in the middle of the night and like, you know, I need help, you would be there in a second. And I'm sure you feel the same way about me. And not that we would ever take advantage of one another. We never do. In fact, we're, I think that's the thing. We're exceedingly thoughtful to one another, which is another beautiful thing about this friendship. But having somebody that is that solid and having somebody that is realistic, but also is positive and believes in that manifestation, it just helps me feed what I already believe, because I do believe that as well. I believe that what is that thing about faith without works is dead? I think that's from the Bible. And basically what that's saying is you can have faith and believe in shit all you want, but if you don't put the work into it, it's just not gonna happen. You know, the things that have to follow suit. And that's true, a manifestation. Like it is you have an idea, you feed the idea, you envision the idea, but you also do some work.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

And I think that that's something that you're great at. I also have a really good work ethic, and so that's what makes it a great partnership, too. And I have absolutely no doubt, and I'll say it right now, that in a year from now we're gonna be doing really, really great because um I just have a feeling about this, and I've had such a fun time on this journey. And, you know, honestly, um, this is one of those friendships that will sustain me for the rest of my life. I think that we've seen each other at our absolute best and worst, and uh, this will sustain us for the rest of our life. And I'm I'm I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for our families are intertwined, our lives are intertwined. Um, we've just been through so much together. And what's important is that it's not a stagnant friendship. I think that we're always growing, always evolving. We not only do we have a healthy respect, and like I said, exceeding amount of kindness and respect for one another, uh, and and a realness between us where we can talk about anything. We can bounce from talking about the soda pop that we bought at the store to a world event. I mean, and then talk about business all within like three minutes. Like it's all over the place. But I think that that uh is is one of the things that's really important in life. So I have to agree, and I just want to thank you so much for coming on today and being my first guest. Yeah. It's fun. Thanks for having me. Well, it's been a blast. And you guys, I want to thank you so much for coming along with this journey. Uh, a little bit longer than normal, I know, but I this I really wanted to do this justice because I feel like having her on here is she's just such a great story. You know, she just highlighted herself that if you knew what she went through and how far she's come and what life looks like for her now, and it was all by the power of her own will. And she had up days and down days and good days and bad days, but she never quit believing in herself. She never quit moving forward. And that is the point that I want to establish here is that no matter where you're at in your life, we both, Elisa and I have both been at that suicidal place. Like we think it's over, I just don't want to deal with this anymore. It's too much. Yeah, it's too much. I just can't do it. I mean, I can't imagine now from where I stand, like ever feeling that way, but there was a time, and I think literally it can get that bad. So wherever you are at in that journey, that is the whole point of this podcast is to let you know, man, there's a lot of people. You could be walking down the street and they may look like they have it together, but you do not know their story. And sometimes it's nice to just hear other people's story and hear somebody you do not know on the other end of a microphone telling you you can do it and baby steps, you know, and that's what this podcast is about.

SPEAKER_01 55:24

So, with that, you guys by showing up for yourself. And by and let's end up with that and go ahead and congratulations for showing up for yourself today. There we go. That's you know, I guess that's my philosophy is you just show up for yourself, you show up for your family, and you just keep going forward.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

So I'm gonna go ahead and do half of the close, and then I'm gonna let you do half of the close. You get to read, I'm throwing her on the spot here, but I think it's important. So I'm gonna do this part and you're gonna do that part. So, guys, thank you so much for being here and holding this part of my story with me. If today's episode resonated with you, please don't stay in silence. Share it with somebody who might need to hear it.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

And if you're walking through your own fire right now, know this. You are not too broken, you are not too late, and you are never ever alone. This is Burn It Down and Begin Again. I'm Elise. And I'm Erica. And we'll see you in the next chapter. And we'll see you in the next chapter.