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Welcome to Backstage Huddle, a special encouragement series from Offstage and On Duty created specifically for Stage Wives.
While our regular podcast episodes feature longer conversations and interviews, Backstage Huddle is a space for practical encouragement, therapeutic tools, and honest reminders for the unique challenges that come with life behind the scenes. Think of it as a quick huddle with a friend who understands.
In this episode, Rhyan shares one of the most powerful tools she's learned from therapy: separating what you're feeling from what is true.
When loneliness, overwhelm, comparison, fear, or exhaustion start telling stories, it's easy to mistake feelings for facts. Together, we'll explore a simple exercise that can help you challenge anxious thoughts, take your thoughts captive, and anchor yourself in truth without dismissing what you're feeling.
If you've been carrying a heavy mental load lately, this conversation is for you.
Grab a notebook, settle in, and welcome to the huddle.
Hey friends. Today I want to share one of the simplest and most powerful tools I've learned from therapy. It's a tool that's helped me through seasons of loneliness, anxiety, disappointment, not to mention feeling overwhelmed. And if you're a stage wife, chances are you've experienced at least one of those things. Because this life is a gift, but it can also be really hard. You can be surrounded by people but still feel alone. You can love your husband deeply but still feel frustrated by the schedule. You can be grateful for the opportunities while still feeling exhausted by the sacrifices. And when we're tired, overwhelmed, or lonely, something happens. Our feelings start writing stories. But the problem is, is that our feelings are not great fact checkers. One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming, or even the unconscious feeling, that, okay, if I'm feeling this, this must be true. But feelings are not facts. And I'm here to remind you that they're just information. They're just indicators. They are invitations to pay attention. And because they are not always reality, I want to teach you a very simple exercise. So grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of it. On one side, write what I'm feeling, and then on the other side, write what is true. And we're just gonna do a little practice under what you're feeling. Maybe you could write, I feel completely alone. And the important part of this exercise is that feeling is real. We're not gonna argue with it. We're especially not going to shame ourselves for it, and we're not gonna tell ourselves we shouldn't feel that way. Simply acknowledge it and say it out loud, I feel alone. And here comes the really beautiful part. On the other side, we're gonna write some truth. And that could look different for every emotion. Maybe your truth to combat that is I have people that care about me right now, even though I don't feel connected to them in this moment. Or maybe my husband loves me even though he's on the road. Or something like, loneliness is a feeling I'm experiencing, not my identity. Let's do another one because I'm feeling feisty. Maybe your feeling is I'm failing as a mom. To which we've all felt at one time or another. But then let's write some truth beside it. It could be as simple as, my child doesn't need a perfect mom, they need a present mom. Or I'm feeling this way, but I still keep showing up, even on the days when it's hard. Or bad days don't make a bad mom. I feel like somebody needed to clock that. I think you're starting to get the picture. Okay, last one I promise. Maybe your feeling is nobody understands my life. The truth to combat that might be not everyone does, but there are some women who do. Stagewives. But for real, that's why stage wives exist. On the days where you feel like you can't do this anymore, the reality of the situation is you might not want to do this today. But those are very different statements. One speaks to performance and one speaks to exhaustion. And exhaustion is so real, but exhaustion is not prophecy. Let me explain. Just because you feel tired today does not mean you won't have strength tomorrow. And I want you to notice something. And let me be clear: the goal of this exercise is not positive thinking. We're not pretending everything is wonderful. We're not putting inspirational stickers over real pain. We're simply asking what is true. Sometimes the truth is encouraging, sometimes it's challenging. But it's always more trustworthy than the stories that fear tells us. We've all, or at least most of us, have heard the expression taking your thoughts captive. I think sometimes we imagine that means fighting every thought. But what if taking our thoughts captive means slowing down long enough to question them? What if it means holding a thought in your hand and asking, is this actually true? Is there evidence for this? Would I say this to a friend? Because many of us would never speak to another woman the way that we speak to ourselves. You would never tell a friend, you're failing. Nobody cares about you. You're not enough. You're doing a terrible job. But somehow we believe those things when our own mind says them. So today I want to challenge you. Every time you feel overwhelmed this week, grab a notebook, draw a line down the middle, a line in the sand, if you will. On one side, write what I'm feeling, and on the other side, write what is true. Give your feelings a voice, but do not give them the final word. Because your thoughts are talking, fear is talking, loneliness is talking, comparison is talking, exhaustion is talking. But that doesn't mean they're telling the truth. And friend, if nobody's told you lately, you're doing better than you think. You are carrying more than most people realize. You are stronger than you feel. You are not alone. And this season is not the whole story. Keep going. One day, one truth, one step at a time. I'll see you next time, Stage Wife.
