Welcome to Off Stage and On Duty! We’re so glad you’re here. This podcast is a safe, and supportive space for women navigating life behind the scenes, especially those whose partners work in the music or touring industry.
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Sometimes the strongest marriages aren’t built in hours of uninterrupted time—they’re built in the ten minutes you choose to show up.
In this Backstage Huddle, Rhyan offers a little encouragement for the seasons when time is short, schedules are full, and connection takes intention. Whether your spouse is on the road, working long hours, or life simply feels nonstop, small moments of genuine connection still matter.
You don’t need more time to love each other well. Sometimes, you just need to make the time you have count.
Hello everyone and welcome back to the Backstage Huddle. I'm your host, Rai, in honor of being in between episodes right now for offstage and on duty. Last week we released the 10-minute marriage part one. Next week we're releasing the 10-minute marriage part two. So in the meantime, I want to offer some encouragement in light of what we've been discussing. This week, I want to talk to the person who feels like they're getting the leftovers in their marriage. Maybe your spouse is on the road. Maybe you're the one on the road. Maybe your schedules are completely opposite. Maybe you're juggling kids and work and travel and sound checks and bedtime and school and all the things that have to happen just to keep everybody alive. And somewhere in the middle of it, you look at the person you love and think, when are we actually supposed to feel married? Because sometimes you really only have 10 minutes at a time to connect with that person. 10 minutes to FaceTime before you go to soundcheck, or 10 minutes after the kids go to bed before one of you falls asleep. And I think sometimes we become so discouraged by how little time we have that we accidentally waste the time we do have wishing it were more. We tell ourselves, this isn't enough. We need a date night, we need a weekend away, we need hours to talk, or we need to get back to how we used to be. And some of those things are wonderful. Yeah, take the date night. Please take a vacation. Lock the bedroom door when you get the opportunity. But I just want to remind you of something this week. Small does not mean insignificant. Ten minutes of real connection can matter. A two-minute phone call can matter. Sending that small text saying, hey, thinking about you really matters. Connection isn't always built on big, gigantic, romantic gestures. Most of the time it's built on tiny little thoughtful moments. And I think it's especially important for marriages whose lives revolve around touring. Because if we keep waiting for the perfect conditions to connect, we might be waiting a long time. There's always gonna be another show, another sick kid, another school pickup, another flight. So maybe the question is, how do we find more time? Maybe sometimes the question is, how do we become more intentional with the time we already have? And something else I want you to hear. If your marriage feels a little disconnected right now, that doesn't automatically mean that something is wrong with your marriage. It might just mean you're tired or you're in survival mode. Maybe you're simply in a season where connection has to become more intentional. So here's your backstage huddle challenge this week. When you find yourself only having 10 minutes a day to connect with your spouse after the survival checklist is complete, maybe ask one really intentional question that feels good. Maybe it can be what was your high and low for today? What made you laugh? And then just listen, you don't have to fix anything. It doesn't have to turn into some profound marital breakthrough. You're simply in the moment and reminding each other, I'm still here, I still see you, we are still us. 10 minutes won't change your circumstances, but 10 intentional minutes can remind you that underneath all of those responsibilities, you're not just coworkers managing a household. Your partners, your friends, your lovers, you're on the same team. Don't underestimate the small moments. Don't wait for life to slow down before you start reaching for each other. Use the 10 minutes. Make the phone call, send the text, ask the question, tell them you miss them. Laugh about something stupid. Tell them you're proud of them. Because when we only have 10 minutes, we gotta make them count. That's your backstage huddle for this week. So I will see you next time. Proud of you, Stage Wives. You got this.
