20. Become The Example You Wish You Had

In this episode, we discuss making the most of what you have and becoming the example you never had. Ultimately, the choice is yours- stay in a mindset that keeps you small, or do the work and flourish into someone you feel proud to be. Everything you need is already inside of you. 

Transcript

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You know what I love is moving my body, just having a movement practice. And you know what I forget that I love when I've got a lot of head trash going on? I forget that I love to move my body. Anyway, I never really know how to start these things. Hey, hi, I'm Chloe. Glad you're here. Thanks for pulling up your chair at the round table today. We're gonna talk about making the most of what you have, doing what you can with what you have, becoming the example you never had. So without further ado, let's get into it. Welcome to Creator Putty, a space where the invitation is always open to call upon the higher power that breathes you and remember that there is strength in surrender. Now let's go explore the expanses of consciousness. You know, for a person who listens to a lot of podcasts, you would think that I would just like have it down on how to open up an episode. Um, but the truth is it feels awkward every time because even though I'm talking to you, you're listening now, like when I'm sitting here at my kitchen table, I am talking to a microphone and an iPad, and there's no one sitting across from me. So it feels really one-sided. And um yeah, I that's why I love it anytime that I hear any kind of feedback from anyone who listens to the podcast. So if that's you, thank you. If you've thought about reaching out with suggestions, with questions, with feedback, any of it, uh, the door is open. So please let me know. You can find me on Instagram at Chloe BeingHuman. But today I am talking about making the most of what you have, becoming the example that you never had. And as I said in the opener, I always forget how much I love to move my body. Today I went on my first official run in this 5K training program. I have run a 5K before. I know I'm capable of it, and yet I've got this like mentality that because I had stopped running, that I just completely lost it. And I really pleasantly surprised myself by being able to run about a mile and a half without stopping, pretty much, except for maybe five minutes. And that's a big deal. You know, I've been consistent about my movement practice again for the at least the last six months-ish. And I'm starting to see the changes in my mindset. I'm starting to see the changes in my body and in my energy. And that's so exciting when you finally get to see the benefits and the rewards and the payoff of your efforts. You know, I used to be a certified personal trainer for a very short amount of time. And while I didn't train a lot of clients before I left that gym, I still went through the studying process of getting that knowledge in order to become certified. And I carry that with me. But it's so funny how, like, when you're the one in the hot seat and you're the one, you know, working out or whatever, there's all these voices or narratives or just like feelings that kind of weigh us down. And I want to talk about that because again, I'm here to destigmatize the conversation surrounding mental health. I think it's really commonplace to make jokes and laugh or skirt around the subject and just kind of learn how to coexist with our grief and suffering, but not necessarily in a healthy way. And so part of my objective here is just to talk about things vulnerably, openly. I really have nothing to hide. So why not, right? So, anyway, all of that to say, I am going to be running a 5K on the 4th of July in Wisconsin with one of my very best friends. And I am so excited. There's a story behind that, um, something that inspired it, and I would love to share that once I speak with her. Maybe we can talk about it together. But I started training for it today. And I've been thinking of this concept of, you know, becoming the example that you haven't had for a while. And this just kind of brought some clarity to that. So I've been a mom now for over five years. And that's crazy to say out loud because it really does go so fast. You know, like you feel like, oh, I'm gonna feel so grown up when I'm a parent. And I just don't. Like I still feel very young. And while I do feel like I've matured and learned lessons, it's also crazy how we still kind of minimize ourselves. And so I was thinking about how that mindset of keeping myself small, or, you know, I looked at it through maybe a more righteous lens. And I don't know if this was from a religious upbringing or just trying to be a good person. But I had this mentality of being humble that in a really weird, twisted, roundabout way almost worked against my mental health in the sense that I would almost kind of like keep myself from trying things because I didn't want to be seen trying. I didn't want to be seen uh succeeding for sure, because I never wanted to upstage or outshine anybody else. And what I've realized in my five plus years of being a mom, and in our four years of being self-employed, me and my husband, and he carries the bulk of that load now, is that if you want to be successful, if you want that life that you're chasing, you have to be willing to be seen. And you have to be willing to self-educate into a place that you've never been before. So that's what I mean by becoming the example that you never had, right? Like maybe you came from humble beginnings, right? Maybe you came from two working parents and you were constantly in after-school programs, or maybe you came from a home where there was substance abuse issues or other kind of dysfunction that really kind of uh dealt you a hand of cards that made it feel like you started out in life in a deficit. There are so many different ways of upbringings that set us up for our adult lives. But by the time that you become an adult, all of those stories, they they kind of go somewhere. I think a lot of people tend to like push them into the closet or under the rug or whatever, and they learn these coping mechanisms of how to move through the world without really addressing a lot of the head trash, let's say, that was born of these circumstances. And I think even for people that had really good upbringings, there can still be a lot of head trash, a lot of junk that kind of just weighs on a person. And so I posted something on Instagram this morning talking about, you know, if you didn't have an example, become one. If no one ever taught you how to properly care for yourself, invest the time and energy in learning now. Because, like I said in the last episode of this podcast, you're the only person that you are gonna spend your entire life with from start to finish. No more excuses. You are worth the investment. And you know, I yeah, full stop actually. I see and hear so many people that get stuck in this loop that's so disempowering of yeah, well, I'm this way because my parents, or I'm this way because of that crappy boss that I had, or I'm this way because of my crappy ex. You know, it's that blame shifting. And I'm not saying that your parents or your ex or your boss or that thing that happened to you in the past was not difficult. If you are someone that ever decides to sit across from me, if we were friends having coffee, you would know that one of my biggest priorities in my personal relationships is to make sure that my people feel seen and heard when they are sitting with me. And I can laugh and joke and have a good time. I love that. But if we're going deep, I can promise you that I am going to create a safe space for you to open up about those things. And if I get to lend a hand to your journey of processing and healing your junk so that you can become the version of you that you want to be, that is my greatest honor. It's not easy. It's really not easy. And I have been on my own journey of this, as I've spoken very openly about for the last three years. You know, I was completely cracked open when I had my experience of a mental health crisis and a spiritual crisis that were really happening at the same time. And yet it all came down to a choice of I'm gonna get well. I am not going to continue to be a victim to my circumstances, to the people around me, to whatever kind of crappy day is thrown my way. I am going to learn to make the best of whatever situation that I have. Now, there's this sneaky little thing that is like a snake in the grass and it drives me nuts. It is called spiritual bypassing. You could also could hear like toxic positivity. I think that they're kind of one in the same. But basically, spiritual bypassing is when someone, specifically in this case, like someone um uses their faith to kind of like cast their burdens outside of themselves and fail to take responsibility for actively healing and changing um the patterns that have been created in themselves due to the circumstances that they have come through. So, an example of spiritual bypassing is like, well, because that happened to me when I'm younger, now I'm really anxious. And therefore, I expect everyone else around me to make exceptions for or tiptoe around me or walk on eggshells around me because that's just the way I am. That is that's really tough. Okay. I acknowledge that for somebody that is in that headspace of like that's just the way I am, that feels like you are tiny puny and have no control. And I know what it feels like to feel tiny puny and have no control, but I can also tell you that if you choose to take charge, make the choice, become the example that you never had, and make the best of every situation that you have in front of you, little by little, things will start getting easier. Are you still gonna fall on hard times here and there? Absolutely. Are things gonna come up out of the blue that are unexpected? Yes. But you're gonna have the tools to A emotionally and physically regulate your body and your emotions so that you can move through through those things with less suffering and more grace. And B, you're going to feel more confident and become more efficient in the way that you do move through those things because you're going to start seeing that almost as, you know, protection or divine guidance or whatever it is that you want to frame it as for yourself. But it comes down to the mindset that you choose to have. This podcast is called Creator Putty. And I talk a lot in the beginning episodes about why I named it that. But as a quick refresher, I believe that we are co-creating the reality field that we are living in with our creator, be that the universe, your higher self, God. I tend to use God because it's the term that's familiar to me. But I feel like God would not have put you here and given you free will to make you miserable and suffering all the time. You don't have to stay a victim to your circumstances or that person in your life that makes you feel like crap. You can rise up. And it's hard in the beginning, especially if you've never done it, you're gonna feel like a baby bird that just hatched out of an egg and you're still all gloopy and can't even like shake your feathers out enough to get your wings up. Ask for help. And if there's nobody in your inner circle that feels like it's safe to ask for help from, I highly recommend if you have the resources, the money, the insurance, whatever, find a therapist that works for you. I am again not a mental health professional or a medical provider, but I can be a friend, I can give you resources. You can reach out to me and I'll try and point you in the right direction. But I believe that we heal in community. And while, yes, we have to take responsibility for our part in our own healing, asking for help is a really big part of that. So let's kind of bring it all home with the topic of doing what you can with what you have. We kind of touched on that, making the most of what you have. Again, choosing to see the circumstances of, you know, you didn't get the job that you wanted. Maybe something better is coming down the pipeline. Maybe there was some jerk at that job that would have really kind of ruined your mental health because of the way that they would have treated you. Can you choose to see it that way? Or is it, I never get what I want? This is so difficult, I'm really struggling. You know, let yourself have those feelings, but then as efficiently as you can, move into that space of why is this happening for me instead of why is this happening to me? So making the most of what is in front of you. And as far as becoming the example that you never had, I recognize how challenging that is. But trust me when I say, if I can do it, you can do it. Yesterday, I was outside in my garage. I was working out, and my five-year-old came out and he started working out with me. And later in the day, he actually asked again to go outside and work out in the garage this morning before school. He wanted to get ready early so that we could go outside and he could do his version of a workout. And that made my heart just like swell with pride because I am becoming an example. He is seeing through me what it means to stay consistent and dedicated to taking care of your physical form. And that is so beautiful. And I don't take that lightly. I didn't have that kind of example. My parents set examples in other ways for me. But when it came to making a practice of loving your body and caring for it, instead of punishing it or anything else, I became my own example. I got that personal training certification and I went through the studying to understand what was needed. I apply that knowledge now. And after I had my son and I went through a couple of years where I wasn't continuously moving my body and taking care of it the way that I knew that was right for me, I felt kind of badly. But now that's behind me because I've made the decision to make the most with what I have, start where I am, and become the example that I want my son to have. So all of this to say, I guess it's a little bit more of just like a what's been on my mind, personal share. But I'm sharing this to encourage and empower you to take that control, take charge of your mindset, your body, your choices, your behaviors, and start to get to know yourself. Put the time and the investment in because before you know it, you will start to see the cogs in the machine working a little bit more well-oiled. Everything becomes more efficient, your days seem brighter, you move through things more quickly. Yes, you're gonna stumble, but you're gonna get back up and you're gonna keep going. Reach out for help if you're in the beginning, find some resources that are helpful to you, but just get started. You have everything that you need already right inside of you. And that is it for today. That's what's been on my mind. Thank you for listening. I hope that you feel fired up, ready to take on the rest of your day. And if not, and you're at the beginning of that journey, like I said, reach out to me on Instagram at Chloe BeingHuman, send me a message. You don't have to give me the nitty-gritty details of what you're going through, but if you just need somewhere to kind of lay it all out, get it off your chest, lay the cards out on the table so that you can reorganize them and get started, I'm here for you. So, thank you again for joining me for another episode of Creator Putty. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. See good, be good, and I will see you next time.