Wellness Minutes

Spiritual Bypass: When Bliss Becomes Avoidance

Dr. Gitika Talwar, PhD

Anger burns. It rises in our bodies—sometimes in our racing hearts, sometimes in our flushed cheeks, sometimes in our churning stomachs. But what happens when we try to hold that burning sensation with compassion? Can we speak loudly and firmly while still maintaining kindness?

The relationship between anger and compassion isn't as oppositional as we might think. Neuroscience reveals that compassion activates brain regions closely connected to action, much like anger does. Both emotions can motivate us to make change—they just fuel us differently. While anger provides an immediate surge of energy, it often leaves us depleted. Compassion offers a more sustainable power source, though one that might not cut through noise as effectively. The challenge lies in harnessing anger's volume with compassion's endurance.

Many spiritual traditions emphasize transcendence and bliss, but this can lead to what's known as "spiritual bypass"—using spirituality to avoid difficult emotions rather than processing them. True spiritual practice involves facing our anger, not escaping it. By acknowledging where anger lives in our bodies and honoring its message without letting it consume us, we develop a more integrated approach to challenging situations. Taking one breath and one action at a time allows us to respond with committed compassion rather than reactive rage. How might your relationship with anger transform if you approached it with curiosity rather than judgment?

Link to read more about spiritual bypassing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_bypass

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Thank you for listening,

much metta,

Dr G

https://www.pranhwellness.com/

Speaker 1:

Day 20. Still trying to sit with loving, compassion and kindness, and it's been a hard one, or two days actually, I've been sitting with this really strong emotion, popularly called anger. I'm laughing because I just did an episode on spirituality yesterday and when I was talking to someone about how difficult it is to hold anger with compassion and figure out ways to act with, you know, kindness and compassion, and not let the anger be in charge, even though anger is such an important emotion. I think anger energizes us. It pushes us to take action, which is so important. The interesting thing is that compassion does that too. The parts of the brain where compassion is activated is very close to the part of the brain where action is taken. So a lot of times when people experience compassion, the parts of the brain that facilitate taking action also get activated. So compassion can generate action too. So when compassion and anger come face to face, I know that there is benefit to speaking calmly, in measured ways, and I also know how much politeness can sometimes be held against you. Sometimes, when we speak softly, we are not heard, and anger helps us speak loudly and firmly. So I am trying to figure out how to do that. And anger helps us speak loudly and firmly. So I'm trying to figure out how to do that loud, firm thing with compassion, also because I recognize how much anger burns. If you think back to the last time you were angry, do you remember where you felt it? Where in your body do you feel anger? I used to feel the anger in my heart, like my heart used to start racing. I used to feel anger in my cheeks. I could feel my cheeks getting warm and lately I've been feeling anger in my stomach, I think, and it's just, it burns, it really burns, and I just realized that it's not great for me. So, bringing commitment to my actions and not using anger to fuel all my energy, that's the big challenge. And I laugh about the spiritual part, the spiritual podcast episode I did yesterday and how. Today I'm talking about anger.

Speaker 1:

I don't think spirituality and anger are disconnected from each other and in fact there's this phrase I learned a few years ago and it comes up for me quite often. It's a phrase called spiritual bypass. The whole idea is that when you deeply connect to your spirituality, you can feel a sense of bliss and transcendence. I hope I said that right Transcendence, so that bliss and transcendence is beautiful. But a spiritual bypass is when we just automatically try to push things away so we can complete that feeling of bliss and transcendence. So you avoid things, so you can pretend everything is okay you bliss out instead of connecting. Everything is okay, you bliss out instead of connecting. So there is always that risk of spirituality being used as another way of avoiding our issues.

Speaker 1:

And when compassion and anger come face to face, it's been a difficult challenge for me sometimes to figure out ways to use compassion but not use it to avoid thinking about the stuff that makes me angry. So right now, I'm mainly just focusing on one breath at a time and one action at a time and just saving my energy for that breath and action. So, yeah, just thought I wanted to put out there meanwhile. Uh, this was day 20 and I'll see you tomorrow for day 21. Bye.