EP 28: Marriage, God, And the Triangle That Changes Everything

What if the fastest way to grow closer to your spouse isn’t to chase them, but to aim higher? We map out a simple triangle—God at the top, spouses at the base—to show how moving toward Christ draws you toward each other. Along the way, we get honest about the sneaky ways we try to fix our partner, the “I need you to…” sentences that pile unhealthy pressure on a marriage, and how identity rooted in Jesus frees us to love without fear or scorekeeping.

We unpack Ephesians 5 with fresh eyes. Husbands, loving like Christ means more than chores or charm; it’s a steady, sacrificial pursuit of your wife’s good, even when it costs you. Wives, respect and submission don’t erase your voice; they shape how you use it with strength and dignity. We talk about what this looks like in real life—from deployments and emotional valleys to the quiet choices in the grocery aisle—where outserving one another turns theory into habit and habit into trust.

You’ll hear practical rhythms to anchor a Christ-centered marriage: personal time in Scripture for each spouse, humble conversations that avoid weaponizing verses, and a renewed focus on the One who designed marriage in the first place. When God sits at the top of the triangle, love and respect stop competing and start completing. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs hope today, and leave a review to tell us one way you’ll outserve your spouse this week.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:22

All right. Welcome back, guys. We are diving back into another episode. My name is Joshua. I'm joined with my wonderful wife, Brittany.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

And our good friends Brian and Kelly Oday.

SPEAKER_03 0:35

Hey yo.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

And today we're going to be talking about a very interesting conversation that we're going to have about a triangle, and we'll get there in a second. But really, it has to do with relationships between a husband and a wife and then to God. But we'll dive into that a second. I'm pretty sure Brian has a verse to dive into, but we were just chit-chatting right before we started the episode about the ladies taking out their earrings. And we got to be careful not to clang them around on the table and stuff because they have these headphones on them. Brian was just geeking out on whoa, there's earrings all over the table right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

All over.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

All over to all over.

God As The Primary Relationship

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yeah. So what we're talking about today is that our relationship to God is our most important relationship. Even above, because we talk a lot about marriage. And so we're like, okay, my human, my number one top priority human relationship in my whole life is my marriage. However, the number one relationship is with God. And so we have to keep that relationship number one. And I'm always struck. So Ephesians chapter five is kind of the go-to passage, New Testament passage about marriage. And one thing that's always kind of struck me is this is Paul instructing the Christians in Ephesus in Ephesians chapter five. But I think it's helpful for me to think through okay, if I'm a husband, this is God using the human author to instruct me as a husband on how I'm supposed to be a husband. And so I'm going to answer to God for how I do that. My wife is going to answer to God for how she does that. I think so often we get in this, especially husbands might be, I don't, I don't know how this the wives will tell us how they do that. But for husbands, sometimes we're like, oh, we're the head. And so my job is to like tell my wife what she's supposed to do. And my job, like, okay, and so we become experts in what God says to wives. But I, as a husband, I should be an expert in what God says to husbands.

Accountability To God, Not Each Other

SPEAKER_03 2:55

That's right. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

I'm the same for the women.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

So, like, if I'm gonna become an expert on Ephesians chapter five, as a husband, I should focus on verses 25 through 32. And you wives, I think you should focus on 22 through 24. And so often I just hear custom, you know, we do some in, you know, we do some pastoral counseling of young married couples, and it's like husbands are experts on what God says to wives, and wives seem to be experts on what God says to husbands. And I'm like, well, just switch that. Just you answer, you will answer to God on the last day. You will answer to God for how you obey his instructions. And I will answer to God. Like, you're not gonna answer to us. We're just strangers on a podcast, right? My wife's not gonna answer to me. I'm not gonna answer to my wife. We're all going to stand before God and He's gonna address me as a husband. Husbands, love your wives. How'd that go? Right? Like, and we're gonna stand before him, not before one another.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

Well, we tell our kids, you know, when they're coming to Tattletale, or like he did this, she did this. It's like, okay, who are you responsible for? Yourself. What did you do? Like, take that.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Yeah, there will be no if if there's this, you'll sound like Adam and Eve in the garden. The wife thou gave us me. God will be like, no.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

So it it turns into blaming, right? Adam, Adam just sinned against the Lord egregiously, and the Lord is confronting Adam on what he did, and you, what did you do? And he says, This woman you gave me, this woman you gave me, he blames God and his wife simultaneously in one sentence. It's awful. Yeah, don't do that.

The Triangle Visual Explained

SPEAKER_01 4:51

So often we're dealing with husband and a wife, and then God is in the picture. And if you put those three entities on a sheet of paper in the shape of a triangle, so often what we're trying to do, and the way you just wonderfully described, is the husband will be looking at the wife side of the triangle, trying to figure out and like fix her. And then the wife is trying to figure out the man's side of the triangle and like, no, you need you need to fix these things because he keeps doing this or that. And what we need to realize is if we're we're all on a point of this triangle. If we're both working towards God and if we're both focused on God, and we're both stepping our closer towards God, then we're gonna naturally be getting closer and closer together as that the width of that triangle, as you get closer to God towards the point, you get closer to each other.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

So what I hear you saying is the wife is on. I'm gonna put her on the bottom right corner of the triangle.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

I always put her on the bottom left. Do you really?

SPEAKER_04 5:57

That's funny. I would say above the bigger.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

But in but in dancing, your partner is usually to the right. The female is a good one. So I put her on the right.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Especially contra dancing, lady on the right. Okay, so that's great. So I put her on the right, and the guy down on the left in those corners. And what I hear you saying is you should be like going up, up, up, up, towards that peak of the triangle is where God is at, right? That's what you're saying. Where if I'm the wife on that bottom right and I'm trying to come towards my husband, but I'm trying to come across that bottom line, it's not gonna work out well, or vice versa, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Right. Well, here's the problem, too, is if if the husband is looking to God and he's getting closer to God, and the wife then just tries to go towards her husband, they're actually growing apart because they're going in different directions. And vice versa. If the wife is looking to grow towards God and the husband's just looking at his wife, they're growing actually. If not, they're staying the same distance apart, or they're growing apart further.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Yeah, that's okay.

Idolatry In Marriage Confessions

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Yeah. So yeah, we do this a lot of times in in pre-marriage counseling, in whatever, and I like to have a whiteboard in when I'm doing these types of things. And so, yeah, the God has to be at the top of the triangle. He is the ultimate authority. And so what we often do practically, andor in our language andor in our minds, is we put ourselves at the top of the triangle. Like I'm in the authority, and I'm trying to force my wife to be closer to God or to force my wife into some sort of thing. And that's not good. Like, God is the authority in the relationship, and God is the most precious person in the relationship that we should be moving towards, and our respective relationships with God are the most important relationships in the in the situation. Like, we should be able to get to the point I would like to be able to get to the point. This is hard, but I'd like to be able to get to the point where my relationship with God is far more important than my relationship with my wife. It sounds bad on his face. It sounds bad, but I want to whether my wife follows me or not, I'm gonna follow God.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

When what ends up happening is you're actually a more loving and better husband.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 8:34

So it's like, yeah, and then it makes me want to follow him probably.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Not always, but I I appreciate that you you always believe that to be true, but sometimes it's really frustrating for somebody to be perfect. Or somebody to be more godly. So the most godly person on the planet to ever live was Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Jesus. All right, he was perfect, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:58

And what did the people who lived with Jesus do? They killed him. They killed him, they crucified him. And so you're right, like once you realize once God shapes you to realize, hey, this is the best version of Brian, that doesn't always happen right away. Yeah. You know, sometimes I take a godly step and you hate it. Yeah. Or sometimes you take a godly step and I hate it. I'm like, ugh.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

Yeah. No. I know this is right, but I don't want to know.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

And what a better focal point than God, because he's the one that created us. And he created marriage, the whole institution of the marriage. So why wouldn't we follow his instructions on how that works?

Reframing “I Need You To…”

SPEAKER_04 9:41

And I think it can, you know, I think early on in our marriage, this happened without me even realizing it. But then I came to a place of realizing, like, I am making my husband my God, you know. And I even think of with the triangle picture, like, if we're, you know, at the bottom of the triangle and God's at the top, like it's supposed to be, if I'm looking over at my husband for what I need, like that's not what I should be looked, like we're both looking up to that top point. And I remember just being an emotional, I mean, I'm emotional, but like I was kind of like a sort of an emotional wreck when I was going through this season. It may have been like after your first deployment, where I'm just like learning about how I'm making him a god and I'm like expecting these things from. And I remember crying and saying, like, you don't tell me I'm beautiful, and I need you to tell me I'm beautiful. Like it was like this, all these crazy things that, and I remember you having this clueless look of like, you were trying, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

I mean, you were you were like, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

And then I remember thinking, I am heaping burdens on him that he has like he doesn't even like I'm trying to find my worth and my value, you know, yeah. Yes, in him. And that is not, that's the wrong place. And it's like, I feel like the Lord was just telling me, like, no, no, no, me. That is who you're gonna find, who you are. I made you like that's who's gonna bring all joy. And and as when that started clicking more for me, it took off some of that weird burden that I was placing on him, and just my whole attitude sometimes would be affected by if he did or did not say the right thing or tell notice something that I wanted him to notice. You know, it's just kind of craziness.

SPEAKER_01 11:27

And if you take a step back from that and you think about the the craziness of that, but we can all fall into it so easily, right? Is when you take a step back and you think about what's actually happening. I am putting an expectation upon somebody else to do something that hasn't been communicated in order to fulfill my identity and happiness and joy instead of it. And it's impossible. Like that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 11:54

Like he's it's it's that's made for God to do.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Just to say, yeah, to like universalize that sentence. You said a sentence that is like should be like ding ding ding, like awful. This is a warning light on the dashboard. I need you to dot dot dot. If you're thinking andor saying sentences like that to your spouse, I need you to dot dot dot. That's probably let's fix that sentence. Yeah. And really let's fix the mindset behind that sentence and the heart posture behind that sentence. Now, if you're saying like, hey, I need you to pick up milk on your way home from from work, okay. Would you maybe reword that a little bit, but I for my for me to be okay, I need you to tell me I'm pretty. Like, that's a man, that's not gonna work. It's not gonna sustain.

From Deployment To Dependence On Christ

SPEAKER_00 12:51

No, me. Yeah. I you're gonna feel depleted real fast if you need that from your spouse. I resonate so much with Kelly on the whole making an idol out of our husband. I've worked through all those emotions during Joshua's first deployment. You know, if you've listened to our testimony podcast, you know Joshua and I didn't come from Christian homes. And I saw Christian men in the church and thought he needed to lead a certain way. So as everybody's talking, I'm like, oh yeah, that was me. When Brian's like, you're looking to your husband and what he should do from Ephesians, you know. And I had created this image and then like started to idolize. Well, first it was not idolization during the first deployment, it was realizing I had a realization that I was looking to what God said to the husbands, and I needed to look at what God said to the wives. And I do remember crying out, you know, his first deployment was a combat tour. So I was like, Lord, please let him live. I do remember praying that because I was like, I'm a horrible wife. Like I'm pretty sure I said those words, like, please let him come home alive so I could be a better wife to him than I was when he left. And then during the second deployment, no, probably third deployment, I then it switched for me of like, okay, Joshua's this great godly husband. Now my focus has shifted and I'm idolizing him and needing him to be my God. And now that's taken away. Of course, I wouldn't have articulated that in those moments and really learning like, no, that's a really bad place for Joshua to be. He needs to come down off that pedestal.

unknown 14:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Because when he sins, then my life is shaken, you know, never idolizing someone. So I just resonate with that. Like keeping Christ at the top and moving towards him is important.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yeah, that's good. So we spend some time talking about what we shouldn't do. Let's dive into a little bit about what we should be doing or could be doing or need to be doing, or whatever word you want to put in there, uh, wherever your focus needs to be. So let's take a look at Ephesians 5. And if you guys could just mention a couple of the things it does tell us to do as husbands and as wives, what are we to be doing in when we're focusing on God and what are the things that he instructs us to do?

Ephesians 5 For Husbands: Love

SPEAKER_02 15:08

So for the husbands, uh verse 25 says, Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And so our standard for husbanding is to is to be like Jesus, who gave himself up, laid down his life, his desires for the church, his bride. And so we should do likewise. And then it's interesting, like the big overarching verb, because he says it again in verse 33 let each one of you love his wife as himself, which he talks about in between those, like, love your wife as your own flesh. So the verb is love. The two examples are like love your wife as you take care of your own body, and love your wife like Christ lays down himself for his bride, the church. And so it the big overarching thing is love your wife. And I'll look up while somebody else is talking. There's a great definition for love that is just so helpful. Like it is love is I'll not look it up, I'll just paraphrase it. Love is doing for the other person what they need. And it's almost always at at the cost, like at personal cost, great personal cost. So do what that person needs even though it costs you something.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

In an unselfish way. Not for to get something in return.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Right. That's true. Yeah, that's not lovely.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

Yeah. I need nothing in return. I don't, I don't know expectation. There's some there's some weird, even sometimes veiled in Christian language of husbands, do the dishes, and if you do the dishes, then your wife is going to be more responsive in the bedroom. And it's like that that's a dumb reason to do dishes. Like do your dishes because you love your wife, or like serve, like do things, do things for her that she that will help her feel loved and that will do what is best for her. And and what is best for her in that moment is sometimes really difficult to know what is best for her. But we are always like as a husband, I am supposed to be interacting with my wife in a way that is doing what is best for her and what is best for her relationship with God. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Your definition makes me think of 1 Corinthians 13. Like, it it is possible to be patient with someone, it's possible to be long-suffering, it's possible to not count wrongs, like that is all dying to yourself and laying it down. So I just think that's a good definition.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Yeah, so what about the ladies? What's the wives r uh Ephesians 5 section say about uh what the wife is to be focused on in doing?

Ephesians 5 For Wives: Respect

SPEAKER_04 18:19

I think in verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. And then the second part of verse 33 let the wife see that she respects her husband husband, or sorry, not husbands. It always makes me think of Eve, like in Genesis, like you know, how she kind of takes control. I don't know. And I I just think like I don't know, my proneness, I guess, to not want to submit or to even not respect my husband away, like thinking that I know better or whatever. I don't know. I yeah, just I've seen that so much rear its ugly head in our marriage. Yeah, from those verses.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

That's a common thing I hear from wives too. I've seen it in you, but also others, like I know better. And here's the challenge a lot of times you do. Like a lot of times wives do know better than the husband on some topics.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

Be careful saying that. Someone will be like, yes, I knew it. I knew it all along.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Let's just I'm I'm trying to give, I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Even if you do know better, there's a way to go about that. Yes, there's a respectful way to go about that, there's a God-honoring way to go about that. To be a suitable helper for your husband, not to be the authority over your husband, and not to belittle your husband, not to control him, not to do it for him, not to like whatever. There's there's right things to do, even if you're right that you know better, and a lot of and the humility to realize I might not know better.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

He might I think for me, I need the humility just like to serve you better as a wife. Like, because when I'm in that, even early on when I'm like, you need to do all this, I'm like looking and looking like, hey, I know what you need to do to. Be a better husband to me. Like, no, I don't. I don't know. Like I I don't know, just being humbled before the Lord of like, I I don't know how to be a good wife. I'm only gonna be able to do that with the Lord's help, you know, and so and keeping my eyes on the Lord, not on you. Like, what are you not doing, or what are you know, whatever, or what do you need to do to make it better?

SPEAKER_00 20:46

I think submitting to the Lord too first is how we submit to our husbands. Because I don't want to negate the fact there are people here that are listening that might be in a hard marriage, too, you know. It's it's your submission to the Lord does not mean that when you're submitting to your husband, you don't have an opinion. Like you're hearing us talk about uh the struggle that we have with like not submitting to a godly man, maybe who is leading well, you know. But it it does not mean submission does not mean you don't have an opinion, it doesn't mean that you don't have a voice in your marriage, it doesn't mean that you don't speak truth to your husband. I love the key word there that is so helpful for me is respect. Like you can respect a man who may not be leading well and speak in a respectful way to him in a disagreeing way, and you're submitting to the Lord. So I just want to caveat that a little bit there. But I think when it's talking about submitting to our husbands, we cannot do that unless we are submitting to the Lord, unless we're growing up that triangle and pressing towards him, because submitting to the Lord is actually how we end up submitting to our husbands. And I had to learn that the hard way. I thought I knew everything.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

And that didn't. There's two things there that I want to touch on, and that is the submission goes both ways. So in us dying to ourselves and giving to our wives, we are submitting to our wives. In the wives respecting their husbands, they are submitting to their husbands as well. But you said two main words there, and there's love and respect. And there's a commandment there from God saying, Hey men, love your wives. Why do you think he feels the need to tell us we have to do that? It's because we don't naturally do that well. You need to love your wives because we don't naturally love well in that way. Now, wives are told to respect their husbands because they don't naturally just respect their husbands. They need to be told to do that. And what's interesting about that is there was a poll, this might be an outdated poll that was years ago, that said that asked husbands, would you rather be loved or would you rather be respected? And most husbands would rather be respected than loved. And wives, vice versa. They want to feel that deep love, but the whole respect thing is is more of like a nebulous idea to them. Whereas for men, respect is how we truly feel loved. And it's kind of an interesting way.

The Red Cap, Blue Cap Story

SPEAKER_00 23:36

I think that passage is interesting too, because I know personally in my own life, I become hyper-focused on a certain aspect of what God has said. So I wrote down a question when Brian was talking about what it says to the husbands. What are some ways Christ loved the church? We can get hyper-focused on maybe one way Christ loved the church, and we're like, that's how I need to love my wife. Like, and women, we can get hyper-focused on one way maybe Christ submitted to the Father's will, or one way Christ respected the Father's will. And we don't look at the wholeness of it. My encouragement to husbands and wives is study the character of God, study the character of Christ, because in order to love your wife as Christ loved the church, you actually need to know how Christ loved the church, all the facets of that. And for wives to love their husbands and respect them, you need to understand who God is. And I think a lot of times we have this demented view of who God is, and it affects the way we love our spouses. And that's why it's so important to look at the triangle. God is on the top. If we're growing towards him, we're learning more about him, we're loving him more, we're gaining more knowledge from his word that's transforming us. We're becoming more like him. And then we love our spouse in a radical way. It's not to serve ourselves. I think so.

SPEAKER_04 24:56

If we ask ourselves so many times, we're trying to serve ourselves in these weird like expectations or whatever. It's like to serve ourselves. But no, it's not about that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Yeah. That's right. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah. I lost my train of thought.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

It was gonna be great then.

SPEAKER_04 25:14

Sure, it'll come back when somebody talks.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Uh well, then I'll I'll pick it up. So there was there was a there's a really interesting story we heard years back about a husband that wanted a type of milk. And you saying uh submitting to one another and growing towards God actually fulfills both parties involved in a beautiful way, the way God designed it, if we just do it right. And so there's a story about a husband who liked whole milk. The wife Red Cap, he called it. He called it red cap whole milk. And then there was blue cap skim milk or fat-free milk or whatever it is. Watered down milk is what I would call it. Yes. So you have this red and this blue cap milk. Bowl. He's on his way home from work and he goes to the grocery store knowing that they needed milk, and he was going to the store, so he's like, All right, I'll pick up some milk. So he goes into the milk area, he sees the red caps, the space for the good legend. He sees the blue caps, and he's like, That's what my wife likes. Which one am I gonna choose to bring home? Because I'm bringing home the milk today. So he ends up picking the blue cap for his wife because he wants to love his wife well, and he brings that home and he goes and puts it in the fridge. And when he goes to go put it in the fridge, he realizes his wife already ran to the store. And you know what she grabbed?

SPEAKER_04 26:39

Oh, she got the red screen. The red cap.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

So now they both were able to love each other well by getting them what they both desired and needed of the relationship.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

Just how we should be.

SPEAKER_01 26:53

But they were both able to unselfishly be able to give to the other in a wonderful way and and love each other well.

Separate Time With God, Shared Growth

SPEAKER_00 27:01

I remember we were in a teaching thing and he was teaching on Ephesians 5, and he did talk about how he stood in front of the milk aisle for like five minutes. He said God was sanctifying him in the milk aisle. Like, I want the red, I know she'll want the blue. And then after he said, We should always seek to outserve one another. If we were out-serving one another and loving each other instead of being so self-focused, we would actually end up with really amazing marriages. Like we just don't, we we're always looking to serve ourselves. That's the human nature. So I do remember that talk.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Yeah, I don't remember where we heard that.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

So was that a talk at Southeastern University? Is that what it was?

SPEAKER_02 27:43

Okay, all right. So uh I assumed it was at a military marriage retreat at the Billy Graham Center.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

No, he was he was talking to a bunch of college students.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

So yeah, that's good. That's interesting that it all happened right there. One thing I would encourage, just practically, is you should each have your own time with the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

So read the Bible for yourself, have your own time with the Lord. Should you discuss that with one another from time to time? Sure. But I think like sometimes I I I hear this, not sometimes, literally all the time. Guys who who want to honor the Lord and they want to love their wives and they're trying to do the right thing, they create this situation where like their only time in God's word is like teaching their wife. Like we're doing a Bible study together, and I'm teaching, and for some reason the book is usually Romans, and so they're working through Romans and they're doing this like inductive Bible study where they're the teacher of their wife to like you're gonna I'm I'm here, I'm I'm the pastor to the family, and I'm doing this. And it's like okay, if you do that, you better start with some time with the Lord because again, you're gonna answer to the Lord with how you do that. And if you're not submitted to the Lord, you're gonna mess that up. In in a thousand different ways, you're gonna mess that up. And so each of you having your own time with the Lord is good. Talking about it is good, but just don't don't mess that up.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Yeah, that that's uh that can get toxic and really weird really quick. It reminds me of coming to America, that movie, but deep pool. Man, anyway, I'm not even gonna go there.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

But I feel like you need to tie that in, otherwise, people are gonna think that's a while. I just don't know where you were going with that.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

So basically at the beginning of that movie, there is a We do not promote this movie. I I watched many years ago when I was a kid. I don't know anything about it.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Just want to throw that out there.

Don’t Lose Yourself Or Your Voice

SPEAKER_01 29:48

So I remember not an endorsement. All I remember is at the beginning of the movie, he's like the king of this or prince, he's gonna be king of this town or this place, this country. And there's been this wife that has been raised up for him since birth, basically. An arrangement. And she was trained to do everything that he likes and give him everything he wants. And so she just basically is like a slave. And he meets her for the first time right before they're supposed to get married, and he's like, This is crazy, and you don't even have an original thought of your own. And he didn't want that, he wanted a companion that was her own person, her own person, not just the slave for him. He was like, This is weird. No, I want a relationship.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

I do not remember that profound marriage wisdom at the beginning of coming to America.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

I think she said he asks her questions like, Where do you want to eat? Whatever you like. Yeah, that's what she says. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Yeah, you don't want that. So that's that's really insightful. You can't think that, but you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:52

One thing I hear a lot is like, I lost myself, or I've, you know. And it's just like, well, that's because you're yeah, trying to be somebody for your husband or trying to let him be what you need, you know, trying to suck and dry and fill your needs. So much.

Final Takeaways And Blessing

SPEAKER_01 31:10

I took us way off track there. We gotta wrap things up, guys. But man, it was it was really good and fun talking about the marriage relationship and using this visual of a triangle and make sure we are striving to be more like Jesus every day. And in doing so, we will truly love our spouse as well, and we will fulfill each other's desires and needs and wants in the relationship if we just do so. So uh, with that, I appreciate y'all. God bless you, have a wonderful day. We love y'all.