Military Wellness Collective

EP 33: Should I Stay IN the Military or Get OUT?

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The question won’t leave you alone: should I stay in the military or step out? We take that tension head-on and get practical about how to decide with courage and clarity, not panic or pressure. With Brian and Kelly O’Day alongside Brittany and Joshua, we unpack the hidden drivers behind this decision, how contracts and promotions create constant off ramps, and why time served should inform you but never own you.

We start by reframing the choice as a calling issue: before God, why would I stay in, and before God, why would I get out? That shift exposes fear-based motives—avoiding cold, deployments, or uncertainty—and replaces them with purpose, stewardship, and service. We talk through writing it out, praying it through, and testing your reasons in the positive. From there, we dig into marriage dynamics. Leadership means listening, and listening means inviting your spouse’s honest state without turning a hard talk into an argument. Different processing styles matter too; set rhythms for conversation, keep the decision in the light, and remember that feelings are a gauge, not a guide.

We also challenge common traps: sunk cost thinking at eight, ten, or even seventeen years; the myth that 20 is the only “right” finish line; and the urge to outsource your decision to mentors or friends. You own this call. If you can no longer uphold the oath with integrity or do the job with competence, it’s time to find the nearest exit ramp. If you stay, do it on purpose—mentor well, love your family, and prepare for eventual transition. If you go, go on purpose—plan finances, translate your skills, and aim your next season at meaningful work and community.

Whether you’re staring at reenlistment, orders, or another deployment, this conversation offers a grounded way forward rooted in faith, wisdom, and practical guardrails. If this helped you—or if you know someone wrestling with the same choice—share it, subscribe, and leave a review so others can find it. What’s your next step?


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We highly encourage you to find a trusted mentor and process some of the questions you are asking. Your local Church leadership is a fantastic place to begin. If you have questions from today's episode, shoot us an email, maybe we can help point you in the right direction.

AND, as always, we love hearing from you guys. You are the reason we are here. If you have a topic, you would like us to discuss, send us an email.

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SPEAKER_00

Hey, hey, y'all. I'm Brittany Brown, and welcome to another episode of the Military Wellness Collective, where I'm joined by Joshua, my husband, and our great friends Brian and Kelly O'Day.

SPEAKER_03

All right, let's do it. Hey, Joshua's silent today. Oh no. He's not talking too much.

SPEAKER_00

You are here to hear.

SPEAKER_03

It was drinking. He talked too much. We asked him too many questions last episode.

SPEAKER_00

In the last episode, so this episode's actually probably kind of a building off of the last episode where we talked to Brian and Joshua about their why. Why did they join the military? That was our last episode. And today we're going to talk about this question that I feel like we get often in our churches. And I'm sure you guys even ask this in your chat. All the time. Yes, all the time.

SPEAKER_03

And if it's not being said, it's being thought. It's being thought all the time.

SPEAKER_02

And it's being asked not just of military members, but their spouses as well. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00

It's this simple question. It's a simple question, but it has so many complex intricacies. Okay. Should I stay in the military or get out? That's what we're going to be talking about on today's episode. Should I stay in the military or get out? So I feel like Brian's face is telling me he just wants to jump right in. So what do you want to say about that?

Why The Military Feels Temporary

SPEAKER_03

So I I just want to acknowledge the challenge. Right? Like this, the there's there are very few jobs that you're always asking that question. Right. But just part of this is the nature of military life. The nature of military life, it is a young person's job. It is a young person's game.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we're old in our defense. We are old, yes.

SPEAKER_03

We are so the United States active duty military, 65%, well over half, are under the age of 30. 85%, we're now getting to like the vast majority, is under the age of 40. So it is a young person's game. So you know at some point the game's up. At some point you've got to get out. At some point the military is going to tell you, hey, thank you for your service, but have a good day. So you know that. They also put all these little, so on the enlisted side, there's enlistments that are usually four, five, or six years. And so you have these like, well, am I going to re-enlist or am I not going to re-enlist? On the officer side, generally speaking, you serve like an initial contract, and then you basically owe these periods of time every time they promote you or every time they move you. Okay. And so at least that's how it works in the Marine Corps. Uh other services might be a little different. But so you have you all you like these off ramps, like they're never too far away.

SPEAKER_00

Right. So you have to be thinking about this. Like, am I going to keep doing this? Am I not going to keep doing it?

SPEAKER_03

Here's an analogy, right? So we're on the East Coast, and if you're on I-95 and you're looking for a restaurant, and and just forget that you have smartphones and you could look it up. But you're just like looking at those blue signs on the side of the interstate.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

There's always another restaurant if you're driving down I-95, except for very few like dark spots, right? Okay. So there's always off ramps. There's always a sh we could get off here, or we could wait and exit, and we could get off here, or we could wait and exit, or we could get off here.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like that with clean gas stations.

SPEAKER_03

But anyway, not to not to distract the home. We could get off. We could get out. And so like the opportunity to add to that.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. We could even get off the off ramp and realize there's no clean gas stations and then just get right back on. Yeah. The analogy breaks down there.

SPEAKER_03

But anyway, so like this is just an this is so I just want to acknowledge that what you're this question is a normal part of the military experience. So the fact that we interact with it all the time, we interacted with it while we were in. We now watch people interact with it all the time. This is a normal, natural part of the military experience.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_02

It's natural and normal in the military experience, but it is very abnormal.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, if you're a plumber recognize that if you're a plumber, you're gonna be a plumber the rest of your life, you most of the time.

SPEAKER_02

Or you could just go and do something else. Like you could just stop at any point in time. Where when I when I say it's abnormal, you're asking somebody to go, hey, look, you're gonna sign on the damn dotted line, and here's four years done. Like you have to be able to commit to that for four to six to eight years sometimes.

SPEAKER_03

Which when you're 18, that's an eternity. Yeah, that's a long time.

Off Ramps And Life Chunks

SPEAKER_02

It's a very long time. I mean, even out of college, if you're gonna sign like a flight contract and it's like eight years long, dude. That was a lot. You're talking that's a third of your life at that point, right? Like that's a lot of time. So it's a it's a very big decision to make. Right.

Questions Behind The Question

SPEAKER_03

So each one of those feels so yeah, the exit ramps are always there, and yet it also feels like I'm investing another big chunk of my life. So if I'm 21 deciding to re-enlist for the first time, okay, that's four years. That puts me to 25. Do I really want to do this until I'm 25? And then if you're doing that again when you're 24 and you're like, man, do I want to do this until I'm 28? And then you know what I'm saying? And so, like, there are these big chunks of like this really valuable section of life in our young adulthood. And so, yeah, the off-ramps are there. The off-ramps are also kind of scary because you're like, well, then what I would what would I do? So there's other questions that are kind of like next door to this question. Should I stay in or should I get out? If I stay in, well, do I want to lap move? Do I want to ask for this thing? Where are they gonna send me? What's gonna happen next? Do it, will I have to go deploy again? Will I have you know what I'm saying? Like, so there's all those. If I get out, well, what am I gonna do? Where are we gonna live? What are we, you know what I'm saying? So there's just so many questions that surround this question.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, as you say that, it makes me think: what kind of questions should we be asking when we are confronted with should I stay in or should I get out? I think there's valid questions like we had talked about before we started recording, there's invalid questions, and then there's maybe invalid questions. This to me speaks of discernment in a very big way. And Charles Spurgeon said, discernment is not knowing what is right, it's knowing what's almost right. And so I think with this, it's we really have to seek the Lord. So, what kind of questions should we be asking? It's not just, oh, this is hard. I want to get out. That's not really the right way to make that decision. I would assume, right? Would you guys agree with that? So, what question should we have?

Discernment And Standing Before God

SPEAKER_03

So I think the question is similar to the question we talked about last episode. Last episode the question was, why did you join the military?

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Now I want to ask the question, and I want to put in this similar to what we did last episode, but before God, why am I getting out? Or before God, why am I staying in? And so we've got to ask that question. So just imagine yourself and and or your family standing before the Lord, why am I staying in, or why am I getting out? And so again, we're picturing, generally speaking, mostly men who are serving, who are heads of their households, making this decision for themselves and the household, but you're doing that before the Lord. All of those things have to be in consideration, but we have to make this decision before the Lord. Why am I doing it? So before we like, should I stay in or should I get out? Okay, why would you stay in before God? Why would you get out? So just you could list like why would I do this? Before God, why would I stay in? Write all that out before God, why would I get out? And and what would I do next? And and some of those types of things. But like, just can you wrestle that out? And so if you're a journaler, journal it out. If you're a walker, go walk it out. If you're if you're I think by you know cutting the grass, well, go cut the grass. If you think by going on a 20-mile run, uh God love you, people, not that person, but then go do that, but do that with that in mind. Throw, you know, take after this episode, put the ear air pods away and and think through those questions.

Positive Reasons Versus Fear-Based Choices

SPEAKER_02

And then as you start coming up with those answers, make sure they're in the positive. Because if you say and you you give you're given the question, why do I want to get out of the military? Okay. If your answer is because I don't want to be wet and cold, because I don't want to wear my this uniform every day, because I don't want to have deployments, or I don't want to if it's the I do not want these things, you're running from the military. You're trying to get away from it, and that's not a good way to make a decision. Because now you don't know where you're going, you just know what you're running from. You're running, you're living out of fear instead of out of faith. Now you can do that in the other way too. So if the question is, is why do I want to stay in, if your answers are in the negative instead of the positive, and it's it's negative as in, I don't want to get out because I don't want to have to go do this, or I don't want to go get a quote unquote normal job, or I don't want to make less, or whatever the case is. If that's your reasoning, you're not thinking about this in a this is purposeful. You're thinking of it in a I just don't like this type of thought process. And you're living out of fear instead of out of faith.

SPEAKER_03

Which is so all those are invalid reasons to get out. And I think that imagining yourself and prayerfully standing before God with this decision is is gonna weed through a lot of that. Yeah, like you just imagine yourself telling God, like, yeah, I don't really want to be cold and wet anymore. You gotta be like, well, suck it up, dude. Like I hung on the cross. Yeah, I hung on the cross cross. Right, exactly. Yeah, and so it'll just weed through. Just imagine yourself telling God, well, I, you know, whatever. Whatever you're telling the Lord, I don't want to be cold and wet anymore. He's gonna be like, Well, I called you to this. So do it. Or I don't really want to decide what I want to do with my life. Well, this is a decision I'm putting in front of you. I'm calling you out of this to do something else. And so, yeah, weeding through what are the invalid things? And so I like for me, that's writing that stuff down in a prayer journal. For you, that might be running or walking or whatever the case is. Yeah.

Marriage, Leadership, And Unity

SPEAKER_00

I have a question about this. So, is this a decision if you're married that you just like as the head of the home, just like make on your own? You don't do you talk to your wife about this? What does that look like? Would you encourage military members, these guys? Like, do they just decide this and then they're like, wife, this is what we're doing?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yes and no. But I think you got to be really careful with how how you have the conversation here. Yeah. Because you want in some ways, I do. So again, we'll just imagine because that's my experience, I was the man, I was the husband serving in the military, leading my wife and my family through this. And so, in some ways, I do want to hear where she's at.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_03

And so, like, if I could have done this the best of possible way as I look back on it with my today brain looking back when I did do this, I I would like to think, I would want to like, hey, where are you at? Like, how are you doing in this life? Or can you do another two to three years? Why or why not? Can you do another four years? Why or why not? Where are you at? What what's God doing in your life? And I want to know if she's screaming, like, get us out of here as fast as humanly possible. And I want to know why. I want to know why she's saying that. And it may be like because I'm not helping her endure in the hardship.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, okay, that's really good.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. If I stay in, I need to figure out how to help her endure through the hardship.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And so I I just I want to hear where she's at.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's good for her too to examine why she's saying that. Because a lot of times it's trying to get away from the heart.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, wives. Like I think those questions that you had before God. If if there are spouses that are like, I want my spouse to get out before God, why? Why do you want your spouse to get out? That would have been helpful for me when you got out. Yeah. Because before God, my reasons were not, you know, it was more comfort than yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So our testimony, I I believed, well, I was convinced, I became convinced that God was calling me to get out of the Marine Corps after 10 years of active service.

SPEAKER_00

In 2013.

SPEAKER_03

In 2013, to start a church.

SPEAKER_01

I did not want to do that. We were in a really sweet place in the military, and just I had seen the Lord work so many ways in my own heart, and just like have this family away from family in yeah, just an environment when you deployed, and then just with church groups and stuff. So it was a sweet time, and I it was like, I don't want to leave this to go be a pastor.

SPEAKER_04

Just if I'm really honest.

SPEAKER_01

And so I love it. All of mine were fear and yeah, I just wanted to stay in the more comfortable. Like we get a paycheck every two weeks, and we know what the I mean, not really what the future looks like, but a little more steady.

SPEAKER_03

It looked like another deployment and go into Afghanistan. Yeah. We we knew that was probably what was happening. But what I didn't do, so I'm telling people to ask the question I didn't ask. Like, hey, God's calling me to this. Where are you at? I didn't ask that question. It had to come out in not the healthiest ways when she finally was like, I gotta tell this dude what's going on. Yeah, I was struggling inside. Yeah. Then I could start to shepherd her through that. And for us, that was getting out. But once I knew, then I could shepherd her through it. But I it didn't mean that I was to change what God was calling me to do.

SPEAKER_01

Right. That's what I was gonna ask.

SPEAKER_00

So she didn't dictate it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and it was the grace of God. I never asked him to not do it. But I mean, my flesh wanted to probably, but I never was like, I don't think you should, or we should not do this. But inside, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Every fiber of your being, of your flesh, was fine. Wanted to say, please don't do this.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and ladies be careful because us men, we are hardwired to want to provide for you.

SPEAKER_03

I want my wife to like me.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

That's the kind of view.

Processing Styles And Pastoral Guidance

SPEAKER_02

If even though you're not using the words, your your being is just just like really emphasizing like you do like this or you don't like this, we're gonna go and we're gonna like heavily be influenced by making you happy. And because we want to provide for you and we want to love you well.

SPEAKER_01

Which is scary because we are fickle.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. We are fickle.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I am fickle. I can't handle that.

SPEAKER_02

I really want to call out the ladies right now to this conversation, though. Because when we do have that conversation, ladies, some of you are prone to turn a conversation into an argument. And I just want to like warn you against that step, okay? If you're the type of woman that will take a compliment and turn it into an argument, you might fall into this category. Let me give you an example. If I said to my wife, hey honey, you look beautiful today. And she went, So I didn't look beautiful la yesterday, that's turning a compliment into an argument. This was a hypothetical situation. This is very hypothetical. She does not do that. She's very gracious and just takes compliments well.

SPEAKER_00

No. But if you're so nice.

SPEAKER_02

But if your spouse is coming to you, your husband is coming to you and saying, Hey, uh reenlistment's coming up, career designation's coming up, a set of orders is coming up, we need to talk about this. Like, what are our what are we doing here? And he says, Hey, I'm looking at staying in the military. If your response is, oh, so you don't love me enough to stay with me, or oh, you want to deploy, or you want to be away from me, or you don't like being here, you want to be on in doing all these field ops or whatever the case is, don't do that. Like hear what he's saying and then have the conversation. Don't have an argument, don't turn it into an attack. Actually, talk about what your desires are in that conversation. Yeah. So just don't fall into that trap because it's very easy to fall into that. Like the motives behind, hey, we we have a decision to make.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I think that's why it's important too, like Brian was saying, to ask the questions. And so for guys, like, how can you help? If you know your wife is prone to that, how can you help shepherd her heart through that? Like, hey, we need to talk about this, but remind her you are accountable before the Lord. I ended up falling into a kind of a different space with this when you were struggling. You mentioned in the last episode, it was during recruiting duty. You asked this question, you just did not want to do it anymore. Like, what's the purpose? And I remember it was so up and down. Like when the numbers were good, it was like, okay, okay, yeah, I think I can do this some more. Okay, the numbers, then you it was like, I don't want to do this. Then you became staff NCO I see and you were head over the recruiting station, and it was like, I want out. And I remember just saying to you, Look, babe, I just can't hear it anymore. Whenever you make that decision, I'm here for it. Like, don't talk to me about it anymore. That really was not the most loving thing to do. He needed to process through that to some extent.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but he didn't need to take you on the roller coaster. Well, that's right. That's right.

Don’t Outsource Your Decision

SPEAKER_00

But my tendency, I know my tendency and knew where my heart was. It was like, I just don't want the stress of that. It wasn't like I don't want to be on the roller coaster with you. It was like, we have three little kids. I just want to know what's happening. But then we had a pastor help lead us through this because he helped Joshua see, are you running from something you need to listen to the Holy Spirit? Which then helped us talk about this in a much healthier way. I don't know that we were both going about it in the best way. And Joshua was at sometimes and sometimes wasn't, and I was at sometimes, you know, we're we're human beings and sinners, but he that pastor really helped us see you need to press into the Lord and ask some of those questions. Brian is encouraging you all to ask. What were you gonna say, Brian?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you actually got there. Like, so old older wiser Brittany, older, wiser Britney would tell younger Brittany, like, hey, how can you love your husband through this? Jump into jump on the roller coaster with him at times, but then also help him see, like ask him some of these questions. Like be a helper to him. Like, hey, why it feels like you're changing your mind every every week. Like, God's not changing his mind every week. So, like, you need to hear from the Lord. And I I'm praying for you. You could pray for your husband, like, hey, I'm praying for you in this decision. It's a weighty decision. I'm here with you in this decision, I'm here with you in the emotions of this decision, but it sounds like you need to get before the Lord.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's important to recognize too, on for Joshua's sake, he's an internal processor and I am a verbal processor. So when he would verbally process to me, I I like one of that, right? Because that's usually he's internally processing. And then as he internally processed and I wasn't verbally processing well, it doesn't that doesn't mix well, right? Like it it creates problems. So I think, like Brian is saying, the older, wiser us are trying to tell you, do it this way from the get-go, because we didn't in the time we served, there was a lot of chaos happening. A lot of the older people were maybe in our lives, it hadn't been through what we were all going through, or we weren't seeking out that wisdom. Thankfully, the older people that were speaking into our lives, thank God they were speaking truth to us, like pursue Christ and what he has for you, which led us to ask some of those questions, like Brian was telling y'all to ask. Maybe we didn't ask him in that way, but it sh reshaped, it reframed our view of what this actually looks like. Were you gonna say something, babe?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So in that moment, you were you were just putting the decision on me, which right, wrong, or different is.

SPEAKER_00

You're gonna have to answer for it. I just have to answer for following you. That was kind of my default. It's not the worst default.

Time Served, Retirement, And Myths

SPEAKER_02

Something we can we can fall into a trap of is trying to put that decision on somebody else because we don't want to make the hard decision, because we don't want to be a Accountable for what happens afterwards. And that is the wrong way to go. I'm sure you've had some people come up to you and just say, like, I've literally had several people say, Hey, look, man, I trust you. What here's the situation. What do you think I should do? I'm just going to do it. And I'm like, whoa, hold on. I am not your, I'm not the Holy Spirit, and I'm not your Jesus, unless I can tell you not to fall into sin according to what Scripture says. I can tell you what Scripture says. Right. Right. But I'm not going to tell you what to do and make this decision because it, and I explained this to them a year from now, when you're living that decision out, whether you're having a great time or you're having a bad time, you're going to look back on this decision and blame me one or the other one way or the other. And I'm not going to be the reason for you to be going through a situation. And now you're you're asking all the wrong questions. You're not seeing what God has for you in that situation. You're just mad at me. And that's not a good place to be.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So you have to have your own purpose, your own why, your own guidance of the Holy Spirit to these decisions.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So if you're around somebody who is wrestling through this question and they're verbally processing with you, they may ask you in that direct a way of like, hey, what do you think I should do? But they may do it in other more subtle ways. Do not take the bait. Don't take the bait. Well, I think you should just stop. If you catch yourself say starting sentences that way about somebody else's life, like just stop. Just stop. You don't, you don't need to be doing that in somebody else's life. The other thing is if you are wrestling through this question, should I stay in or should I get out, don't put that in, like, don't put that before somebody else. Like, that's your decision before the Lord. Obviously, there's lots of conversations as we've been talking about that need to be happening between husbands and wives. But like, you know, your mom's gonna have an opinion on this, you know, your pastor might have an opinion on this, your kids might have an opinion on this, your your the military has an opinion on this. Very much so. There's yeah, that so there's lots of people that have opinions on it. Do not do not lay the advice trap at their feet of like, what do you think I should do? Yeah. That's not helpful.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and uh another trap we fall into, I think, regularly is someone's been in for eight years and they don't want to quote unquote waste that time. So they feel like that's a reason to stay in longer.

SPEAKER_03

So they're gonna stay in 12 years, but it's a lot of time too.

SPEAKER_00

Think logically. Logically here.

SPEAKER_02

For you guys, you you got out at 10, went to the reserves, went and planted a church. Like a lot of people at 10 years, they're like, I'm halfway there. I didn't get till 20.

Don’t Quit On A Bad Day

SPEAKER_03

I had mentors in the military who loved who like loved me in a you know, in the the way military leaders love their troops. But like they wanted good for me and they wanted good for the institution, and they tried to talk me out of it. Hey man, like you're halfway there to this 20-year, you know, nirvana in the sky. Uh but they were like, hey, like, you don't have to do this. Or you could, oh, you're getting out to be a pastor. Like, I get it. I literally had a a mentor that I respected a lot, and he said, Look, I get it that you're gonna be a pastor when you get out of the gun club. I get it. But you could do that in 10 years, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that was hard to like.

SPEAKER_01

That was hard. I respected him a lot.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, y'all. We were sitting in our living room when I was at what 16 years in?

SPEAKER_00

You were 15.

SPEAKER_02

15 or 16 years in. And we were discuss like every enlistment, we had the same, like, okay, what what are we doing here? Why are we doing it? Are we gonna stay in or are we gonna get out?

SPEAKER_00

At this point, we are definitely seeking the Lord and doing this in a much better way than what we just talked about.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And so yeah, it never stops. Don't let that like amount like time served sway whether or not you're even gonna ask yourself the question. You need to know why you're staying in and then make that decision appropriately.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it needs to be surrendered.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. There's no line, there's no point of no return. Right. So the military retirement system has changed since we first joined. So the 20 years is not quite the big looming thing that it used to be, but it's still a big looming thing. I'm I was so thankful. So the church I grew up in, there was a Mr. Lyle. Mr. Lyle served in the United States Navy and he was a helicopter pilot and he served 17 years in the Navy. And he got out of his own accord. He told the Navy, I'm done. And he walked away after 17 years, no retirement. He just walked away. And that I knew that as a kid growing up, and that just always like found a space in my head of like, all right, I'm not like it's okay to walk away at 17 years. And uh, because Lyle did it, and and he and God took care of him, and and he had his reasons, and he could articulate his reasons why he walked away at 17 years. You should have some really good reasons to walk away from the kind of money the government's gonna offer you to go after when you go 20 years, but he could articulate those reasons, and they were good and valid reasons to walk away at 17 years. So there's there's good and valid reasons to walk away at 17 years.

SPEAKER_00

It's really good. Yeah, you just need to make sure that you're finding those reasons from the Lord, right? Like that's where the good and valid reasons come from. Those questions of okay, if I'm standing before the Lord, why am I staying in to honor and glorify? Or why am I getting out? Um, I think we've given you men have given us a lot of helpful tips, even for the women to process through this question. Like we said at the beginning of this episode, we get this question all the time. My encouragement, we talked about it was a couple episodes ago, I think two episodes ago, on deployment and like if it gets extended. I feel like if you're in a deployment or a training or a job that you are absolutely hating in that moment, be careful to not just make a hasty decision. Don't quit on a bad day. Yes, yes, don't quit on a bad day. Or we always said, like, if you make a decision in the light, don't change it in the darkness. Like you really have to wrestle through some of those emotions and feelings. Your feelings are a gauge, not a guide. And I think even for our gentlemen, we can let our you guys can let the feeling guide you of whatever you're feeling on ship. Like Brian mentioned, he didn't want to be on ship. Like, I don't like it. Joshua didn't want to be on recruiting duty, he didn't like it. But when you ask those good questions in those spaces, it's gonna help center you on that firm foundation instead of the shakiness. Did anybody else have any final thoughts before we wrap this up?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I I do want to say, so again, you have permission, like you could get out after 17 years. You could also stay in for 40 years or however long the military lets you stay in, you probably won't be able to serve on active duty when you're 70. So at some point you're gonna have to get out of the gun club.

SPEAKER_00

Don't make it your idol.

SPEAKER_03

I will say, yeah, don't make it your idol. I don't like if you can if you can no longer do the job. Like, if for whatever reason, when you read the oath of enlistment or you read the oath of office, and you can no longer do that, then you should find the nearest exit ramp. I think like the I feel like that's a whole other episode. That is like that. Just I think sometimes we're like, well, I don't know what else I would do. I don't want I don't want you serving to protect me. You know, like you gotta figure out what like, oh well, I get paid to do this and I don't know what else I could do. Like you should probably get out. And so just again, there's gotta be valid reasons for why you're doing what you're doing. And well, I don't really want to make a big decision of what I want to be when I grow up. No, you gotta be able to do the job, it's an important job. God, God institutes governments to be a terror to evil and to be good for good, Romans 13. And you need to be able to do that, and so endure the hard. We know it's hard. If God's calling you to stay in, man, we're here cheering you on.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

Listener Question And How To Share

SPEAKER_03

If God's calling you for valid reasons to get out, we're here cheering you on.

SPEAKER_00

That's good.

SPEAKER_03

Amen.

SPEAKER_00

Well, thanks guys for tuning in to another episode of the Military Wellness Collective. We appreciate you taking time out of your day to listen in to these conversations. That was a listener question. I forgot to mention that at the beginning of the episode, and we said we get that question all the time. And so thank you for sending in your questions. If you look down in the show notes, you can see our email address, hello at militarywellnesscollective.com. You can shoot your questions into that email. And if this was helpful, if you know somebody that is wrestling with this idea of should I stay in or should I get out, and I guarantee you, you know someone if you yourself are. Share this episode. Let them know. We want to encourage them to thrive, not just survive in this military life, whether that looks like getting in or staying out. We look forward to hearing from you guys. And we'll be back next week on Monday morning. See you then.