EP36: Should You Go Geo-Bachelor?

Choosing to live apart during a PCS can sound practical, even responsible, until you add up what it does to your marriage, your parenting, and your spiritual life. We sit down as friends and spouses and take the geo-bachelor question head-on, defining what we mean (a true accompanied move where you choose separation anyway) and why we believe it’s almost never worth the trade.

We walk through the most common reasons military families consider it: kids in middle school or high school, big activities and commitments, comfort in a current town, nearby family help, and dread of a new duty station with a bad reputation. Then we push deeper into the questions that actually matter: Why do we want this? Are we chasing convenience, avoiding conflict, or masking marriage strain? What would we gain if we stayed together, even if it costs more effort and discomfort?

From a Christian perspective, we also talk about God’s sovereignty over the orders process, the role of Scripture in decision-making (including Proverbs 5 and 1 Peter 3:7), and why we should be careful about using “God told me” language to shut down wise counsel. If you’re already geo-bacheloring, we’re not here to shame you, we’re here to help you think clearly and plan better for what comes next.

If this helped, subscribe, share it with a military spouse friend facing PCS decisions, and leave a review so more families can find the show.

CONNECT WITH US! What are your key takeaways from today's episode? What would you like us to talk about next? Shoot us an email at hello@militarywellnesscollective.com

SHOW NOTES:

- Proverbs 5:15-19

- 1st Peter 3:7

- Bridgehaven Counseling: Bridgehaven Counseling Associates |

- Church Search Websites

Church Search - 9Marks

Our Churches - Praetorian Project

Transcript

Welcome Back And Meet The Hosts

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Hey y'all, welcome back. I'm Brittany Brown, and I'm gonna be your host for today's episode. And I'm joined by our good friends Brian and Kelly Oday. Hey guys, and my husband Joshua today.

unknown 0:32

Me.

Spring Food Favorites And Smoked Meat

SPEAKER_03 0:34

And the last episode we tried something different where we wanted to connect with you in a different way and just, you know, get to know us. And I think we talked about what we were reading, all the good things. Today I want to talk about it's spring. And praise the Lord.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

Like thank the Lord.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Are there any good foods or fruits or something you've been enjoying that's spring like that that's like your go-to right now that you want to recommend somebody else have?

SPEAKER_04 0:59

Well, I'm anticipating strawberry season. Oh yes. Like having not quite had a fresh strawberry yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

It may be strawberry season in the world.

SPEAKER_04 1:09

So we love and we buy lots, buy and consume lots of strawberries in that season. It's I'm so thankful when it comes and I'm so sad when it's like over.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

It's like a month season. If the weather's right, it's a month. And that's it.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

It's the best. I know. They're so good. I can make myself sick. I know that's gluttony. But I could eat a lot of strawberries.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Who's yeah, there's not many people that are guilty of gluttony with fruit. But anyway, um Brittany might be the one.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Literally everybody that goes to a strawberry pick and patch is guilty of gluttony over fruit. Because you're allowed to snack as you do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:47

Are you allowed to?

SPEAKER_02 1:50

They tell you there's signs like an eat as you pick.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I used to work at a U-Pick. O Day's U-Pick was my first job.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Oh, the one we went to was like eat as much as you want, pack up your things, and then we weigh your strawberries.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

That's great. Brady wants to ask all sorts of questions about O Day's Upick. I do, I do, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Is this your family farm?

SPEAKER_01 2:15

It was my dad's cousin of the farm.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Oh my goodness, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Still owns a farm, but they don't do the U-pick anymore, I don't think. I you I didn't work watching people pick. I actually picked because they also picked. So I hand picked corn, cantaloupe, and watermelons. Wow. And sometimes potatoes, and they would sell. So they you pick some things, but then they would also sell stuff that I picked and other people picked.

SPEAKER_03 2:39

Okay, that's cool. That's fun information.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So sometimes I have flashbacks with some fruits and summer fruits because I'm like, I don't really like that.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Oh, you had to pick a lot of that in the hot sun.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

But I like I've got in I've gotten into smoking recently, and I really enjoy smoking meat. Smoking meat. Yes. And it's been great.

unknown 3:01

It's been good.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

You should get a like corncob pipe and start smoking on the back porch. I gave that up a long time ago. But I started smoking meat, and that's been fun.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Do you have a favorite meat that you smoked?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

I've I mean, I'm just getting into it, but definitely ribs is good and pork because we're in eastern North Carolina. Salmon was good.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Your turkey was good. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

The first thing I smoked was I spatchcocked a turkey, which that's cocked. That's a I haven't I'd ever heard. You can look that up.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

It's a fun word to say. Don't think I've ever heard that.

unknown 3:36

Look it up.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Okay. I will.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Do you have anything you're enjoying eating?

SPEAKER_02 3:40

Well, so the fruits was where I was gonna go, but I'm gonna go somewhere else now since that was taken. So cold sandwiches during the winter time. Look, sandwiches are my favorite food.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

I know very much. Yeah, it's a good thing. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

It's excellent. So cold sandwiches are now a thing because now it's warm outside.

SPEAKER_04 4:03

So you can't do a cold sandwich in winter.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

You can.

SPEAKER_04 4:06

But you prefer a hot one?

SPEAKER_02 4:09

But you can have hot ones in the winter and you can't in the summer.

SPEAKER_04 4:15

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

You actually can, but are you saying you don't want to? I don't want to. So I have a thing about my face. I don't like things getting in my face. And a hot sandwich is usually like dripping with some sort of like hot sauce. Delicious gonna make you hot and then it's drippy and gross. So it's a little more messy. Hot sandwiches are typically more messy. And so I don't want to have mess.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

But it's warm outside, so you can just hose yourself off.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Yeah, if I'm totally feral that day, then yes. But not always the case. So save us, Britney.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Oh mine is very different. And I feel like a terrible wife right now because I have no sandwich things in the next grocery list.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

That's why I liked it so much because it goes elsewhere to get us. That's right. That's right. I've been deprived elsewhere. So I'm like deprived. Diving in everywhere else.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Just watching your health, babe. My favorite thing to eat right now, which is also a short season, is sumo oranges. Man, love them so much. If you have not had a sumo orange, you should really try it. They're very kind of weird. Yes. They're big, they're easy to peel. Don't be probably like they would be kind of gross, but they're not. Or like they're maybe going bad. Yes, that's a good and yes, they do look like they're going bad, which probably sounds so appetizing to y'all. You're I have not had a bad one though. They're so sweet.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

They're flavoring like the little tiny oranges, but since it's a big orange and it's relatively easy to peel, you get that sweetness, but without like the little ones, I'm like, I did a lot of peeling for like half a bite, Christina.

The Geo-Bachelor Question In PCS Season

SPEAKER_03 5:58

I just I love them. And Titus, our son, loves them. And if you like orange juice, like real orange juice, that's what it tastes like. Real orange juice. Well, let's get into today's episode. That's fun. We learned a little bit about all of each other. Same it juice. My our topic today is a question that revolves around moving, changing duty stations or PCSing, like the Marine Corps calls it. Uh, and it is should we go geobachelor? I have been asked this question. We even contemplated it for a brief second. Um and so, yeah, should we go geo bachelor?

SPEAKER_01 6:37

This is a question that people should be asking out loud, um, with other people godly wisdom speaking into it that usually they don't.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

Yeah, they just make the decision.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

They just kind of like make a couple assumptions and run into it, and then they tell everybody, and it by the time we learn about it, it's it's kind of too late. You know? Those of us who would want to speak into that question.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

What would you want to speak into that question? Now's your time. What would you say if someone asked you then? Oh, go ahead.

What Geo-Bachelor Actually Means

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Before we do, can we define what it is? Oh, I guess. There's some people out there that are like, what is a geo bachelor? So I'll just do it real quick. And you guys, if I'm missing something, chime in. So basically, there's a couple different things that happen in the military. Sometimes you get orders to go do some sort of training, and then you come back. And there's that's not geo bachelor. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Sometimes one example of that is happening in our church right now. Somebody's going to recruiter school for a season. It's kind of a TAD. So they're going T A D. It's a long TAD. And then there's a temporary assigned duty. Right. T D Y and other services. Yeah. So anyway, they're doing that and then they come back and then they'll move together.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

We're not talking about that. We're not talking about that. No, no.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

What we're talking about is being a geographically located place other than where your family is, and you've made that choice. So you are geo-bacheloring stuff.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

I'm talking about permanent change of duty station.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

Yeah. So if you got orders to go somewhere and you're actually supposed to be there and you have the option to bring your family with you, but for various reasons, some people discuss not bringing their family with them.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Yeah. So if the military would pay for your family to go with you, that's kind of the like that's what we're talking about. Like you're saying no government, don't move my family with me. I'm going to keep my family there and I'm going to go by myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:43

Very good.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah. Just want to make sure that's clear. That's true. It's not like, hey, my husband, my husband just got orders, like we were talking about in the last one, to Iran, and so I'm going to go buy a ticket and join him in Iran. Like, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Yes, yes, yes. We are not advocating go every single place your husband goes.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

But this is interesting. Like, we're our audience is in both these situations, like in the throes of deployment, and then others are just like, it's a normal moving season and they're getting ready. They've got orders and they're just, you know, doing a normal move.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I would say the area that I see this happen where families decide to do this, they tend to have a little bit older children. I have you seen it with younger kids. I just feel like once kids are like middle school, high school, this tends to become a little bit more of a question. Or if you're closer to family, I've seen that happen in younger families. Like, well, we're closer to her family. So we're just I'll move and then I'll come back.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Yeah, I think the first question I want to encourage people to ask is why are you considering this? Why are you considering this? And walk through those things because you're right. Some are like, okay, well, the kids are settled. The kids have these events and these activities. It's going to be a short time period.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

But we're talking years, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Well, not always. I I let me commend somebody recently, friends of ours, Vinny and Tara. I think they listen somewhat regularly. But anyway, Vinny and Tara, they they were here in eastern North Carolina, and he got orders to school at one school year. Yes. One school year. Not like a like a 10-month school year, cl school, 10, 11 months. I think they were wanting to maybe stay near the school after that, get follow-on orders there, but really also really wanted to come back here. And so that was kind of a and their kids, they have multiple kids in multiple activities, lots of things. And so there were they could have gone through, well, our kids are in this and our kids are in that, and we love our church family, and we love they owned a house, like they had all the reasons. It's gonna be a short day. They had all the reasons to geobachelor, but they did not. And we actually just got to visit with them a couple weeks ago, and they thankfully, because he's at school, they have more family time than they've ever had. And if they would have geobachelored, they would have missed out on that family time, and they are, they just got orders to come back here, so they will have moved twice in one year, but I think I think they would say, no, we did the right thing, staying together.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

I just think there's so much time that you are separated that you don't have a choice in to choose to separate from one another. I think that's why it's a really good question to ask. Why are we doing this? Like when Joshua and I, when I first brought it to Joshua, it was a very, it would have been a short time we lived apart. And it was we lived in, we were stationed in Lawton, Oklahoma. Our oldest was 12, and we were heavily involved in a ballet school there. And there was this big spring ballet coming, and they were doing Cinderella. And the director of the ballet wanted Tatum to dance the young Cinderella part. It was a huge opportunity for her. And it was the first time I said, Well, maybe you could just go ahead of us. It'll be, it was like a three-month. We weren't even talking about Geo Bachelor for a long time, but we're talking a short period of time. And after we sat down and we talked about it and entertained it for maybe 24 hours, we both did not have peace. And we were like, no, we have always said we will go together. And this, we're not even talking about a whole PCS tour, but it was even in that moment we were like, no, we need to show our kids it's important. We stay together, we do this together. So I know I what I'm hearing is the answer would be no, you should not do that. It can is that safe to say if someone asks you, obviously you're gonna have a more conversation, which we're gonna talk a little bit about, but should we go geo-bachelor?

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Yeah, just to answer the question, I don't think so. There's there's very few, if any, circumstances that could possibly trump a family being separated when they have an option not to be. And I think there's a lot of obstacles that come up. And I just want to encourage the families out there that those obstacles that you need to jump over are worth it.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Absolutely. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I would say there are exceptions.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

That's anything in life.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

You're probably not it.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Like if I was having a one-on-one conversation with somebody, I'd say, yes, I'll give you that there are exceptions. And I want it, I want you to give me you're probably not the exception. And if you talk to the person who's an exception, you're like, wow, that is an exceptional situation that you're in. I feel for you in that, right? Your situations are probably actually pretty normal, right?

SPEAKER_05 14:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Like your kids are in activities. Praise God. Your kids are in activities. Guess what? They probably have activities there. If they don't have activities there, then you'll have more family time and you'll come up with your own activities.

Comfort, Fear, And New Duty Stations

SPEAKER_04 14:15

And they are so resilient. I mean, and the Lord has yeah, much to teach them in all those things of like moving and stuff like that too, even for short periods of time. But I would say that the family time trumps the school they're in, the or the activities they're in. Like because I mean that's we see as we have like four adult kids and one still in the home, like it just flees that time. And like you said, Brittany, I think with deployments and stuff, it made us realize like when we can be together, we should be together. Just the importance of that. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

There there's another like category of thought that some wives have when they're struggling with this, and that is the area that they're they would be going to for a year or two or three isn't as nice as the place that they're in. They're comfortable.

SPEAKER_04 15:11

They're comfortable now.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

Yeah, because like I mean, I'm just imagining a young family up in, you know, like the Quantico, Virginia area where you have four seasons. It's a beautiful place, like there's a lot to do. And then they get orders to a place like Lawton, Oklahoma, where you're 29 plumbs. Yeah, 29 plums. You're in a desert, there's not much around. And and they have to make that transition, they're more apt to be like, I don't want to go. My encouragement to you would be to go because often, I think actually majority of the time when we've received orders and we've we're going to a place we didn't initially want to go, yeah, it actually turned out to be some of the best places we've we've ever been for different reasons that we didn't actually foresee.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

So one like tangible thing you could do if you're struggling with that is can you reach out to somebody who is in that place that is actually enjoying it, or could you find cool and interesting things in that location? So you mentioned 29 Palms. 29 Palms, California gets a bad rap, and you know, people talk about it like it's misery in in living color. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

And every service probably has their place.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

But you talk to people who have been there and who live there, and lots of them love it. They love living in the desert, they love the some of the activities that can happen there, they love the family time, they love all those things. We have great friends, a fellow pastor of ours, Jake, who was stationed out there as a Marine and is now pastoring out there at Pillar Church with 29 Palms. And he's like, he loves it. Like they him and his family enjoy it out there. Are there difficulties? Sure. Are there difficulties here? Sure. But so reach out to somebody and see some of those types of things.

SPEAKER_03 17:03

Something I was gonna say is the Lord is the one who is sovereign over the orders you receive and where you go. And he sees your family, he knows you. And I think sometimes we don't stop and ask. We're just like, I don't want to go there, I don't like that place, or we're so connected here. Chances are we're gonna get orders back here, or you're gonna retire and you're gonna come back here. So let's just separate. We don't really stop and ask the question of like, okay, God, you have ordained this in our lives. What are you gonna do through it? Because I really think we would be hard pressed that God gives your husband orders for three years and intends for you to separate for those three years. I just may I just don't know that that's the way it goes, friends.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Yeah, there's a placard we all need in our houses in military life. There's a few placards, but this one God is sovereign over the orders process.

SPEAKER_05 18:05

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Like just say it with us time and time again. God is sovereign over the orders process.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

You don't know better than him. Right.

Marriage Red Flags And Getting Help

SPEAKER_01 18:14

And so God has his purposes in this, and you really need to ask yourself is God's purpose in this for you to be segregated and separated as a family for this period of time? The other thing that's interesting is go back to the scriptures on our responsibilities, especially we've kind of been assuming married couples, which we do a lot because that was our experience in the military. But I think of Proverbs chapter five. Proverbs chapter five is all about fleeing from adultery, and it's written from a father to his son, and the whole chapter is son, stay away from the forbidden woman, do not go near her house, do not it's all these things, right? And in Proverbs 5 and verses 15 through 19, really the antidote for that besides flee, stay away from the adulteress, stay away from the forbidden woman, the antidote, the solution is love your wife. Be with your wife, be intoxicated with your wife, drink from the well of your wife. And so you know that that's just the beauty. So part of the Lord's provision for your protection is to be with one another. The other passage that comes to mind is in 1 Peter 3 7 that says live with your wife in an understanding way. If I'm not living with my wife, I can't do that. Like I can't obey that instruction if I'm choosing to live apart from my wife. And again, I know this is challenging because some of you are in the midst of a deployment right now. And I think honestly, those who are in the midst of a deployment right now are would be screaming at those who are considering a geographic bachelor situation. They're like, What are you talking about? Why is this even an episode right now? This is insane. We want to be together so much. Why would you do this? And maybe even that was your former self. Like during a deployment, you said you would have said that. And now you're like talking yourself into this. And so, yeah, just realize God's God's provision in it and He has created your family to be together, and so be together if at all possible.

SPEAKER_04 20:40

Yeah, and I think if if you're wanting to not be near your husband or your spouse, maybe that's a red flag for like we might need some help in our marriage. Yes. Uh yes, and because if you're wanting that, if you want that space and you think that would be good, then yeah, maybe there's more there.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

I'm glad you said that because there's been this example in my mind that I've been putting, I've been waiting for it to kind of come up naturally here. Because we've been very gracious to the scenarios that come up. We're assuming great marriages. We're assuming like, oh man, struggles with children, maybe it's a geography thing, maybe it's all these circumstances, maybe it's we have family in town or like that live near this area, so we have like free babysitters and we just really don't want to give that up. And there's all these circumstances that we've been very gracious about. But you also might just be that crusty wife that has is or husband.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

Or husband. Like athletes.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Come on, athletes. Come on. And and if you're if you've said these words or something like it, like you've moved me around over and over again, and I don't want to do it anymore. Or it I don't want to move there just to move back. And it's like, look, this is your life. The difficulties are worth it. The main purpose for you all being married and being a family is being together, just like you just read in Proverbs. So be together when you're able to. Stop being selfish and stop falling into these circumstantial problems that you keep bringing up. But those are just excuses. Work on your marriage, love your Husband, love your spouse.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

But as Kelly says, like if you're in that space, the thing you might need to be researching in the new location that we're talking you into moving to is look for a healthy local church.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

And look for a biblical counselor. That's right. And start that process. Like, this isn't good that I'm like, yeah, that's interesting, you're leaving, but I'm not. Or like that's interesting, you're staying, but I'm not. Whatever the however that's playing out in your own mind and conversations, like that's a problem. That should be a giant warning light on the dashboard to we need we need help. We need marriage help. Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

Because it's only gonna get worse. Like if you think, oh, this three years apart or two, that that's what we need to do. Actually, no worse. Yeah, it's gonna be way worse. Right. I I promise. That is I don't make promises very often because we have to keep them, but I promise if it's bad, it will get worse. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

And and and again, we sit on the sidelines of this now in a lot of ways, coaching, you know, coaching folks that are in the game.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

We've seen it play out in different ways, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

And we've said it many times on this podcast that being in the military and being married in the military and having a family in the military is a fast track to maturity in those things. It can also be a fast track to destruction in those things if we don't do these things right and well together. Because when we make the these types of decisions, we are choosing to be apart, and it is a fast track towards being apart permanently if if that's a a situation. Because it's we've seen it play out so many times. It's just not good.

When It’s Time To Leave Military Life

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Yeah, that's good. Let me talk about another scenario. If the reason so really we've just been unpacking the reasons why you would maybe be thinking to do this, and we're giving some reasons why you should not be doing this. There is a scenario where you're just done as a family, you're done the military life. And I just want you to know that that's going to happen at some point.

SPEAKER_05 24:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

And that is a family decision, and it may be time to make that decision. If you can't do the military life anymore, then make start your exit from the military life. Now you may have to do one more move because you've already signed up and you've already enlisted and you've already done all the things. You may have to do that one more, but if you're like, I can't do this anymore, then you need to have that conversation. And listen, I don't care if it's been 16 years. Right. Like you're getting out at the 16-year mark. I got off active duty at the 10-year mark, and I had lots of people trying to talk me out of it.

SPEAKER_05 25:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Because they're like, oh, 10 years, you're halfway to retirement. I'm like, yeah, that's another 10 years. But then for me, it was God was calling me to this church planting thing. But if if the wear and tear on your family cannot be sustained anymore, then it may be time for you to get out of the military. And that's okay. You've done your thing. You've done more than, you know, whatever it is, 98% of the of the country, right? The population. You've done it. You've served your tour. If you've served honorably, praise God for you. Right. We love you for it. You don't you're not quitting. You're if you don't like just finish and finish well and say, you know what, it's time for me to get out. That's okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

And we just did an episode. Go back. It's just a few back from this one. Should I stay and or should I get out? Should I stay or should I?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

And notice Brian didn't say, Oh, it's time for me to end my marriage. No. He said, No, I'm gonna end my career for my marriage and my family. It's worth it. It's worth it.

Don’t Weaponize “God Told Me”

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Yeah. It's kind of similar. It's to like a cousin conversation of this is similar to like the decision to have more kids or not. Like, I don't think that God calls us to just like keep having as many kids as humanly possible for the rest of our lives. Like, I don't there's people that think that that's what the Bible says. That's a tough interpretation to come up with. But there's a time when a husband and wife say, okay, I think we're done. And that's okay. It's not like, you know, it's not like you failed because you didn't have 47 kids. Like, no, no, no. You you like as long as that's being done prayerfully, as long as that's being done in a conversation between husband and wife, it's appropriate to make those decisions. And again, if you served four years, eight years, 12 years, 16 years, 25 years, whatever the case is, that's okay. Like, it's okay. Joshua's not a better human being because he did 20 years and I only did 10 years. Like, that's not like we don't have that arm wrestling match. It's okay. Like, we did our thing, and when God called us out, we got out. That's right. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

I think that is so that first of all, that was a good analogy. It really hit home for me. But second of all, uh, with this whole Geo Bachelor thing, there's just there's just so much there, the questions you should be asking. And I just want to encourage you when you ask those questions, be careful not to deceive yourself into thinking that like the Holy Spirit is telling you you should do this. The reason I say it that is because we can easily convince ourselves, like, and we tell other people, I prayed about this and God's leading me to do this. And what I have found to be true in a lot of those situations is you're really not on your knees fervently asking God. You might just have a good feeling about it. Now, I'm not saying maybe you you didn't ever pray about it, but when we're making these big life decisions, you should talk about it with other people. So if it's just you that came up with this and you think God is leading you in that way, I just want to caution you our hearts are deceitful above all things. And we can convince ourselves into something that isn't truly from the Lord. And I'm not saying every situation, you're being deceived. But as we've gone over many reasons why it's not the best idea to geo bachelor, I want you to think about that. Is it you convincing yourself, or is it truly you and your wife and your pastor? I mean, your pastor's not the Holy Spirit, but inviting people into this to be praying with you. Does that make sense what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 29:11

I will say, Okay, as soon as you say, I've prayed about this and I'm convinced God is leading me to do this, you have actually cut off all godly wisdom from that moment forward. Because if you tell me that, if you say God has called me to fill in the blank, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not gonna argue with you. I'm gonna trust, I'm gonna trust that you're right. I'm every once in a while I'll push on that line a little bit just because of my personality and I think God has called me to do that from time to time.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

And usually it's pointing towards scripture and saying, okay, doesn't what you're saying aligning with God's words?

SPEAKER_01 29:54

I'm gonna do it with questions, but I'm not gonna push real hard and I'm not because I don't you're not, you don't want to hear at that point. And so just know if you start communicating, God has called me to dot dot dot people who trust God's sovereignty and love you are not going to press that. Like they're just not, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

And we really need to be careful whenever we're saying God told us something. I have been convicted of that in my own life. Like it, like Joshua said, does this line up with scripture? Have I allowed other wisdom to speak into this?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Like ask yourself the question is that from God or could it have been from something else? Right. It's hard to determine what's is it your own flesh or is it from God? Go to scripture.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

And we know some of you out there are already in this situation, maybe you're already geo-bacheloring. We're not here to shame you. We're here to just encourage you and maybe give you some more insight. And, you know, there's other decisions coming up.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

And it's okay, yeah. So if you're in that situation and you've made it this far in the podcast, A, I commend you. Yes. Shut us off. Shut us off.

SPEAKER_05 31:08

Yeah.

Listener Feedback And How To Email

SPEAKER_01 31:09

But maybe allow this to say, you know what, I don't want to do this again. Or say, I do think I'm an exception, but I I think you're gonna say, let's try to not do this again. That's really good.

SPEAKER_03 31:22

Well, thank you guys so much for listening in on our conversation today of should we go geo bachelor? We would love to hear from you guys your thoughts on this topic. Also, uh, we want to talk about things that you want to sit in on and listen in on. So if you have questions or episode theme ideas, you can email us at hello at military wellness collective.com. It's hello at military wellness collective.com. And we will do a whole episode addressing whatever topics you want to hear about. We really appreciate you guys being here. We know that we you could be listening to anything and you're choosing to hang out with us. So thank you guys. We love you, and we'll see you back here next week.