Military Wellness Collective
Military Wellness Collective is made up of four friends — two retired Marines (Joshua and Brian) turned church planters and their wives (Brittany and Kelli)— who have lived life both in uniform and on the home front. Together, we share real stories, hard-earned wisdom, and practical, biblical encouragement to help military members, and their families thrive in every season. Whether you’re navigating deployments, adjusting to life in a new town, or simply seeking hope in the middle of your military journey, our mission is to equip you with truth from God’s Word and tools for a healthy, resilient life.
Military Wellness Collective
EP 37: Kelli and Brittany- Fighter Verses For Life
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When military life turns up the heat, what do you reach for first: your phone, your feelings, or the Word of God? We sit down as couples and friends to talk about the Scriptures that have carried our wives through deployments, solo parenting seasons, anxiety in the night, and the slow drip of resentment that can build when life feels unfair.
We call them “fighter verses” not because they’re magic lines you quote, but because they’re truth you return to when fear, anger, jealousy, hopelessness, or grief tries to take over. You’ll hear why Ephesians 4:31–32 became a real-life prayer for bitterness, how 2 Corinthians 12 reshapes weakness into a place where Christ’s strength shows up, and why James 1 and 1 Peter 1 keep reframing trials as purposeful refinement instead of random pain. We also talk about the pressure to “be enough” and why that message collapses under the weight of real hardship.
Along the way, we share a simple practice for Christian spiritual discipline that fits military schedules: read a paper Bible, read in context, and write down what God highlights so you can return to it later. If you’re looking for Christian encouragement for military spouses, Bible verses for anxiety, or a way to build resilient faith in hard seasons, this conversation gives you a clear path forward. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs steadiness, and leave a review that tells us: what’s your go-to fighter verse?
CONNECT WITH US: We want to hear from you... Send us an email at hello@militarywellnesscollective.com
SHOW NOTES:
- Read Your Bible Everyday with THE BIBLE RECAP: The Bible Recap | Read, Understand & Love the Bible in 365 Days
- Become a Women of the Word, with helps from Jen Wilkin: Amazon.com : jen wilkin women of the word
-Check out Brian's blog and see the value of reading the Bible for yourself: Read the Bible for Yourself – Brian O'Day
http://instagram.com/militarywellnesscollective
All right. Hey guys. Welcome back to the Military Wellness Collective. I am not Brittany Brown. My name is Brian O'Day, one of the pastors of Pillar Church in Jacksonville, North Carolina. Veteran Marine, and also serve as executive director of the Praetorian Project, which is a family of multiplying churches in military communities worldwide. I'm joined by my lovely bride, Kelly.
SPEAKER_03Hi.
SPEAKER_05She has been by my side for 20, almost 22 years.
SPEAKER_00Married.
SPEAKER_05Married. More than that. Oh, you've been by my side longer than that. Isn't that sweet?
SPEAKER_00It's been fun.
SPEAKER_05It has been. It's been a joy. Never boring. Rarely boring. Every once in a while, it's boring.
SPEAKER_00Boring's good sometimes.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Good boredom.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_05We're joined by our friends, Joshua and Brittany Brown.
SPEAKER_00Hey y'all.
SPEAKER_05Joshua, one of the pastors of Pillar Church of Topsall, North Carolina, adjacent to Marine Corps base Camp Lejeune or Lejeune, depending on how pretentious you are.
SPEAKER_02We were actually sent out of Pillar Church of Jacksonville as a part of the Praetorian Project, reaching military families and people around the world.
SPEAKER_05That's right. Brittany has been by his side for 23 years. 23 years. All right. That'll be 23 piss. Praise God. It's 23, babe. 23. Okay. All right. So let's not have a public argument. All right. So 2030 years.
SPEAKER_02She was just pointing out to me that this won't be posted until later anniversary. Yes. So as we're recording this, our anniversary is coming up soon. But as this gets published, it's happened.
SPEAKER_03Happy anniversary.
What Podcasting Taught Us
SPEAKER_05Happy anniversary, guys. Very good. So friends, we have been podcasting for what, like nine months now? Crazy. Nine, ten months. What's something God has taught you through this experience of podcasting?
SPEAKER_02Everybody looked at me again.
SPEAKER_01You did. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I thought this is my breath before I speak.
SPEAKER_02I did not tell them this question anymore. I know what I would say.
SPEAKER_00Oh, go ahead, Ray. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02I've learned a lot. So I'll jump. I heard him breathe. Since you all looked at me. So what I've learned is us speaking through some of these things has helped me actually formulate these thoughts in my own mind. Yeah. Because they're things that we've lived and experienced for years and years and years. And we've talked about in smatterings of conversations here and there. But being able to like put a title on an episode, talk through it completely. I've learned so much going through this from you all, and just putting words to our thoughts have been really helpful for me. So Amen.
SPEAKER_03Did you have something, Kelly?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I think if I'm being honest, I was terrified to do this. This is not my comfort zone. This is not anything I've ever aspired to do or thought that I would do. We wrangled you in it. So when we started, I felt like I have nothing to say. I'm not good at speaking. I'm not yeah. But I've learned that well, just to not shy away from sharing what God has done, and it can help others. And I think that's like one of my main prayers every time we do this is just like, Lord, use us to to help somebody else because military life is hard. And I believe that the Lord taught us many things in our hardships and our experience that He wants us to use to encourage others and help others and point to him in the midst of that hard. So I just think that it's helped me get past my fears a little bit. I'm still every week.
SPEAKER_01God's teaching me to rely on him. It's interesting you say that because mine is kind of similar that God has given me personally and all of us at the table a story to be used for his glory. And it's caused me to ask myself. So this is just me being open and honest about this, a little sanctification question of like, whose glory are you really doing this for? Um, and just recognizing the same as Kelly, like, I want to serve the military community and love them for the glory of God, and just continually heart checking my own tendency for people pleasing or different things. So the podcast has been a little prick of that as well. Like, hey, remember whose this is and why you're doing it.
SPEAKER_05So that's good. Yeah, all of that resonates with me. I think when we started the idea, it was I felt like these were conversations that we needed to be having. And I love sitting around our living room with military families and having these conversations, but I was like, man, I I want to be having these conversations as much as possible and get to more people because I can't sit in the living room with everybody. Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_03Very good.
Why We Keep Fighter Verses
SPEAKER_05All right. Well, this one we're really going to focus on our ladies. Brittany and Kelly are women of the word. And I am just struck every time I interact with somebody who's genuinely in the word. I think there's a lot of folks who act like they're in the word or we assume are in the word, but these ladies really are. And I've noticed both of them have these verses written in, or Brittany's, they're they're like post-it noted in to their Bibles, color-coded.
SPEAKER_00Brittany's organized. You're organized, Kelly.
SPEAKER_05Kelly carries around some of these verses written out, tucked into her Bible, and they've referred to them as fighter verses. And so I think my first question is do you remember when you first started doing this? Like jotting down, like, oh, I need to know that verse because I'm gonna go back to that verse often. Do you remember when that kind of started happening in your life?
SPEAKER_01Do you okay? I would say probably around, I don't know, a deployment. Right. Probably like when life was really hard. Probably after our second deployment. I can't say I was so did this during our first deployment. I don't even know that I really did it during the second. But when I realized, like, there are verses that I constantly go back to that are lifelines, that's what I saw them as. They were my lifeline verses. Like these fill me up with truth that I need to really that sometimes I didn't like, but I knew that I needed to hide in my heart because God's word was better than my thoughts. Yes. Okay, that's good.
SPEAKER_00That's good. Yeah, I call them fighter verses. And I love that fight through, fill in the blank. I love it. Like it can be so many different things. But I think mine started during probably the first deployment. But I have it just in a back page of my Bible, and I've added to it over the years that I'm like, oh yeah, I need to add that to my fighter versus. Like, and I think mine are what I pull out when I am tempted to do anything other than go to the truth. Like which is often. Yes. I mean, yes, things come up, like whether it's fear, anger, jealousy, hopelessness. I mean, I can just like keep listing sadness, grief. Like um when I'm tempted to just like go other places to another person or like an anger, you know, to the like why are you pointing at me? Like, because sometimes I mess that up and I don't go to my fighter versus before I go to eBay. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_05Oh, so these you do work with the Lord instead of lashing out at me.
SPEAKER_00And I can think of so many times in my life that I have just like I knew that like I need to go there. And whether it's like in the middle of the night when I'm anxious about something, worrying, I'm like, I'll get up and I'll just sometimes I read through them, sometimes I write them out because writing is like a real thing for me. So I just I've written them so many times in my journal, on separate sheets of paper, on post-it notes. And sometimes I'll pray through them, but it's just like getting me back to the truth that I need my heart to know when circumstances feel out of control or they feel hopeless, maybe. Just remembering that like God is with me and He has purpose.
SPEAKER_05So somewhere along the way, you were just reading your Bibles in disciplined ways of just on a regular recurring basis, reading through your Bibles, and the Lord, the Holy Spirit has been like, you need to remember this one. And that's prompted you to remember it. And then you've used it by you write it, you pray through it, you go to it, you read them in times of trial. Okay. That's good. So let's go through a couple of these. I'd be interested, and and as you're listening to this, I just want you to realize so these are born in military experience, these are born in deployment cycles, these are born in all the unknowns and all the challenges that military life presents. Uh specifically on the home front for these ladies. But yeah, I'd be curious to hear a couple of them. And I'd be curious to hear like where like how the Lord has used that particular one in your life.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so you don't have like a specific nope, like, oh, one.
SPEAKER_05I don't I haven't read through all of them. I haven't read them.
Bitterness And Ephesians Four Prayer
SPEAKER_01I have this really old sticky note. Yeah. Um I think the date on it is 2008. And we were on recruiting duty.
SPEAKER_05Oh my goodness, yeah. I had Which is a trial.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and there was a big push, and we were in Fargo, North Dakota, and so Josh's uh I don't area was the furthest he would travel to record people was eight hours. He would have to drive through Canada to come to this little town in Minnesota, so you had to go across through Canada and background.
SPEAKER_03Wow.
SPEAKER_01But at the time, so I say this to caveat this, I had a three-year-old, a two-year-old, and a brand new baby. And uh, we called it our tundra tour. And I would pray through Ephesians four, Lord, help me get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, any evil types of behavior. So I have it. This it's I wrote the verse out as a prayer, and I would just say, instead, help me to be kind to my children, to my husband, to my neighbors, give me a tender heart, Lord. I love that. And help me to forgive. I at the time I remember saying, help me to forgive the military.
SPEAKER_00Placing me. Just being honest.
SPEAKER_01I knew, and like just turning back to him saying that like you've actually placed us here. So these bitterness that I have towards the military, like, rid my heart of that, Lord. I'm angry at that my husband's gone all the time. Rid my heart of that, Lord. Like so that was Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What was that address again?
SPEAKER_01Uh it's Ephesians 4, 31 through 32. Okay, good. I struggled with bitterness. So this was something that I would go through. Okay.
SPEAKER_05And so the Lord, how'd the Lord use that? So you were struggling with bitterness and he gave you what anger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he gave me a verse that told the verse actually says, get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, and then like to go into these things. And so I would pray through that, Lord. I need you to help me rid these things from my heart.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, which the scripture regularly does that. Like, don't do this. And then if you keep reading, or if you look ahead of it, sometimes it tells you what to do instead. And so don't be bitter. Like we could all figure that out. Don't be bitter, that's not good. But what do I do instead?
SPEAKER_01Which is interesting because if you go back and listen to our holiday episodes, the Christmas episode, the angel, that was recruiting duty. I was anger and rageful.
SPEAKER_00And that was a great story this far as me. Yeah. So that was a good one.
SPEAKER_05Anyway, yeah, it's good. Killing?
SPEAKER_00So one that I'll share. There's so many. But 2 Corinthians 12, 9 through 10. I'll just read it and then I'll talk about it. But but he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I think this verse has been so powerful for me because there's so there's just been so many times where I felt weak. Like there's just a lot to process and deal with, and we're not perfect and we don't do things perfectly. And I think a lot of times when I do like I have failed and do fail as a parent or a spouse or whatever, that it almost feels like my report card. Like, well, I'm not a good Christian. Or, you know, just like, but I think this verse is so powerful to remind me that actually that is a good thing. Like we I am weak. I am imperfect. And the only thing that the only way that I can be effective or do anything good is because of Christ, the power of Christ in me. And just that reminder has been so freeing because it's not it's not on me. But and that's the only way that the power of Christ can work through me is when I come to that realization. So there's just so many times where I try to fight for like, I got this. I can, if I just try harder, I can do it. And it's like, no, we actually have to let go and let Christ work in us, and it's such a beautiful thing when that happens. Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I think that's also very like counter-cultural. Like the culture, every time I see advertisements that are geared towards women, it's like you can do everything, you can do it all, and you can do it all amazingly, and you can look great while you're doing it.
SPEAKER_00And so like your house look great, you look great, and the kids are gonna be perfect, everything's gonna be great.
SPEAKER_05But give a good meal. Scripture actually says, no, actually, the Lord's power is made perfect in your weaknesses, and that you can be content with all those hardships and uh persecutions and difficulties. So yeah, that's really good. And so the Lord gave you peace through that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I've seen the Lord work through that in such a real way that like when I do get to that point, we're like, Yes, I I I don't have any of this together. I need you, Lord. Like, that's when he's like, Okay, that's what I was waiting on for you to just come to that point so that I can do these things through you that you could never do on your own. Yes, and all this striving, you know.
SPEAKER_05Right. Yeah, it's like that moment of like, I can't do this, I need you, Lord. I feel like is the moment the Lord shows up, like, all right, now we can get to work. Now you are a vessel that I can use for my good purposes. That's good. Fit for every good work. Brittany, give us another one. By the way, if y'all are hearing paper, I know flipping. Listen, hey, those are real paper Bibles. I would encourage you, I would encourage you to get you a paper Bible with a printed word on there. And maybe don't pick up your phone until you've picked up that paper Bible each day.
Trials Produce Joy And Steadfastness
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm like, Kelly, it's so hard. Like which ones we have such limited time, but I'm gonna go to James one because it's good. This is something that the Lord takes me back to a lot, and it's really all of James 1, but really James 1, 1 through 12. And it has to do with trials and suffering. Specifically, count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. And then if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith with no doubting. For the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is tossed to and fro by the wind. And then it goes on. But really, that passage for me, any suffering or trial that has come into my life, I feel like God continually takes me back to James 1, that there's a purpose for this trial, that I can trust God in it, that where I lack wisdom in what's happening, I can actually ask for wisdom and God will give it to me. I might not see clearly or everything, but he will give me wisdom. And that wisdom, honestly, has usually been the fear of him, and then takes me to Proverbs 3 that I can trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean on him, not my own understanding. And it usually takes me to Psalm 90, where teach me to number my days, Lord. Like this life is moving fast, these trials have a purpose, and I need to walk by faith in them. So James one is just somewhere I go often. James 1, 1 through 12.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I have one that's kind of similar to James 1 from 1 Peter 1, 6 through 7. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold, that perishes though it is tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. So I just think, yeah, like knowing that the trials are for a purpose and we need our faith to be tested so that it can be proven. Right. You know.
SPEAKER_01Do I actually believe?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And is it is it shaky or is it on solid ground? So good. So and yeah, the result of that is praise and glory and honor.
SPEAKER_01Rejoices. Yeah. Which I love because first or not first paper James one says count it all joy. Like, right? It produces this joy that we cannot produce in ourselves.
SPEAKER_00And I think we've seen the cool thing about these fighters is we've seen like the power of the scriptures and the Holy Spirit like really change us. Yes. I mean, transform my heart. Yes. When it was going a certain way, the truth pulls me back to um Christ and truth.
SPEAKER_05And it's interesting, both of those passages, the James one and the first Peter one, talk about this like complete, like the point of the trials is to make you make me complete as a follower of Jesus. It's worded uh the tested genuineness of your faith. Like so it talks about this completeness of the person going through the trial in James one, and then it talks about the genuineness of the faith in First Peter one. And like these trials, these difficulties that the military experience brings our way so regularly, God is doing something in us. He is growing us, he is testing our faith so that our faith would be genuine, so that our faith would be in him and not in ourselves, and so that our faith would be used for his good purposes.
SPEAKER_00And I think so often too, especially as women, but I mean probably men too, we live in fear. There's so much like fear that can take hold of us. And I think Psalm 23, I'm not gonna read that one, but it's a good one and a common one. Like that's a good one to just read through. And then Isaiah 43, too. I'll read this one. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flames shall not consume you. Like just remembering that I I don't know. There's been so many times that I've read that and I'm comforted to remember that the Lord is with me. He truly is. And I even pray for that more and more, like be near, Lord.
SPEAKER_01I thought you're silence.
SPEAKER_05Hit us one more, Brittany.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I was just thinking along the lines of suffering in First Corinthians, where it talks, I I was looking for it, but this light momentary affliction, like Second Corinthians four. Yeah, that's where I'm at, actually. Yes. Oh, it is Second Corinthians four, eight. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed. But not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed, always carrying in the body of the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. So we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus. Oh, I it's down there somewhere. I have the whole thing highlighted. Just 1 Corinthians or 2nd Corinthians 4, but also 2 Corinthians 3. I consistently needed the reminder as a military wife, now as a pastor's wife, that it is 2 Corinthians 3 5. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything is coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the spirit, for the letter kills, but the spirit gives life. I can be really prone to checking boxes and a legalistic tendency. And when I come back to this verse, I'm consistently reminded, it's not about you, Britney. God is sufficient. He is the one that you need to lean on. And then just a little bit further down, it talks about removing the veil from our eyes in the spirit. And so I've prayed through that many times like, Lord, help me to rely on you. I'm not sufficient. I'll never be enough. And our culture tells us you're enough. Just like Brian was just saying, you can be enough. And that's toxic. Like we're not. And I need the veil removed from my eyes to see that the spirit within me is sufficient. That's good. Anyway.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I think the culture saying you're almost enough. And if you would just buy this product or you would just follow this tactic technique, whatever, then you would be enough.
Build A Habit Of Bible Reading
SPEAKER_00And everything that's and that makes me think of like if if we just went to the scriptures so much more than we went to like Instagram or Pinterest. Whatever. Yeah, it just they're so but and I always like question myself, like, why am I wanting to go to anything else besides the truth? You know, it's just but I would encourage you if your fighter verses do not have to look like ours, you know. Like, I mean, mine and Britney's are different. And I just think we need we need even a path. Like, I think the reason why I started writing these down is because sometimes I didn't know exactly where to go.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Like, and it just you just need to go anywhere, really. Like, just start reading the Bible. Don't don't open your phone to scroll mindlessly when something's hard, when you're wrestling through any of the things, like any of those emotions. Go to the truth. And as you see things that are helpful, start writing them down so that you can go back to those. And but I would encourage you also just to, I don't just go and read my fighter verses. I read through books of the Bible, and the Lord teaches me so much through that. So just make it a point to read your Bible because it is living and active, and God can truly transform your heart through the reading of His word.
SPEAKER_01And would you say your fighter verses came from reading through the word reading? Yes. Yes, I would too. Like it wasn't that I just looked up on Google a verse. Encouraging verses. Yeah. Like I was reading through, and that's like the verse the Holy Spirit is like this. Read that again. You know what I mean? Like and that's where they've come from. Like and they were in context. Yes. In context.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think that's important.
SPEAKER_05That's great. Yeah. So you weren't playing Bible roulette, where like, Lord, show me something, let me fall, open the Bible or whatever. And it wasn't, you know, just Google, I need Bible verses on suffering. And you were just in the regular discipline and habit of reading the scriptures.
SPEAKER_00And it's so cool. I mean, I've had this countless times with other people of like when you're doing that, how the Lord just encourages you in your specific thing. You're like, Yes, okay, Lord, this was exactly what you wanted me to see from my situation. That's just, I mean, it's just like truly God.
SPEAKER_05And it hits us in some different ways. So, like, there's some go-to passages for suffering, for anxiety, for some whatever. And yet, the Lord also uses what we may consider obscure passages that might not make one of those lists.
SPEAKER_00Well, I have some written down that I didn't share just because they feel a little obscure, but it's Can you give us one of those? Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_05Because I just want to show people that God uses his word in sometimes really unexpected ways. Again, that is a paper Bible. While Kelly's looking for that, Joshua's here. Sorry. Hello, Joshua.
SPEAKER_02I was staying quiet for most of those books. I love to say while she's pulling that open. I just want to say also if you're in a regular habit of reading scriptures and not just going to them in reactionary ways, a lot of times God will bring a scripture before you or a passage before you and prepare you for things that you then look back on as you're going through them and get you ready for whatever you're about to go through.
An Obscure Verse That Refines
SPEAKER_05The sovereign one who cares for you prepares you sometimes. Amen. Absolutely. Amen. If you're not in the regular discipline of reading the Bible, I've written a little series of articles on Brianoday.com. Go to Read the Bible, I think is what I call it. It's a little series of articles that's going to help you read the Bible for yourself. All right. Can you have one?
SPEAKER_00Running low time, but I'll share. So Zechariah, which is like the second to last book in the Old Testament. This is an obscure one, but it's been really helpful for me. Anyways, verse 13, Zechariah, verses 8 and 9.
SPEAKER_05Chapter 13. What did I say? You said verse 13.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, chapter 13, verses 8 and 9. In the whole land, declares the Lord, two thirds shall be cut off and perish, and one third shall be left alive. And I will put this third into the fire and refine them as one refined silver and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name and I will answer them. I will say, They are my people, and they will say the Lord is my God. That has been so good for me when I just feel like I am put into the fire. And I want to be refined and tested and to call on the name of the Lord. And I want the Lord to say she's mine. So that one seems kind of like, whoa, this is weird.
Final Encouragement And Next Week
SPEAKER_05But which, you know, the opposite of that would be that idea is all over the scriptures that the Lord refines and prunes those of his people. We seem to tell ourselves, like, well, if I'm faithful, then life's gonna be easy. Well, that's not what the Bible says. So read the Bible for yourself. All right. Hey, thank you, ladies. That was so helpful. I trust it was helpful for folks that are in similar situations. And just an encouragement, be in the word, be in prayer, and trust that God will meet you there. There will be days that it's a slog. There will be days that you're like, I don't really know what the point of that was. But even if God showed up and gave you one of these verses once a year, it would be worth it to show up every day for that just that special moment. And I think all of us would say he shows up more than once a year. Yeah. When we're faithful to do so. Thank you all so much for joining us for another episode. We look forward to seeing you next Monday.