Military Wellness Collective

EP 39: Sabbath Rest Amidst a High-Intensity Life

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Your calendar can be packed and your mission can be real and important, and you can still be running on fumes. We sit down as friends and spouses to talk about Sabbath rest in a high-intensity community, especially the military world where “keep pushing” feels like the only acceptable answer and where people are put in charge of others early. We start with simple ways couples reconnect like an after-dinner walk, then widen the lens to the deeper question: what does it mean to stop on purpose and treat rest as holy rather than optional?

We read the Fourth Commandment from Exodus and wrestle with what it demands and what it protects, including rest for the people and systems we lead. We talk honestly about the lie that rest is for weak people, why hustle culture warps our view of value, and how Sabbath becomes a blessing that restores perspective. Using a practical framework from Order in Your Private World, we explore how to look back, look up, and look ahead so we can process the week, worship with intention, and step into what’s next without sliding into anxiety and doom loops.

We also get concrete about military schedules, duty days, deployments, payback weekends, and using leave well, while avoiding legalism about a specific day. We discuss defining “ordinary work,” choosing recharging activities that fit your job demands, and teaching kids a quieter rhythm when life is loud. We close with hope from Hebrews 4, pointing to Jesus as our ultimate rest. If this helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s burning out, and leave a review so more military families can find a healthier rhythm.


Have questions for us? Want to connect with us and let us know your thoughts about the podcast? SEND US AN EMAIL at hello@militarywellnesscollective.com


SHOW NOTES FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

1. Brittany has mentioned the book, Ordering Your Private World- a few times on the podcast. Grab a copy- it's an easy read, packed full of wisdom for the ages! Amazon.com : ordering your private world

2. Sabbath is a matter of the soul. The sabbath was created for man, not man for the sabbath. Sabbath is a good gift to us, and a command. We are limited beings, and our soul needs caring for. Soul Keeping, is one of Brittany's top 10 book recommendations. Amazon.com : soul keeping john ortberg


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SPEAKER_04

Hey, welcome back to another episode of the Military Wellness Collective. I'm Britney Brown. I'm gonna be your host today. And I'm joined, of course, as always, by my husband Joshua.

SPEAKER_01

Me.

SPEAKER_04

And then uh our some great friends, Brian and Kelly and I'm here.

SPEAKER_01

I am here.

SPEAKER_04

And I want to ask a question today about dating your spouse. Are there any fun dates you've been on recently that you would recommend maybe doing or going? I guess I mean obviously you're in eastern North Carolina. We are in eastern North Carolina, so you might not be, so you might not have our restaurants or things. But as we approach the summer months, are there any fun recommendations for a different style, you know, a different kind of date?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You know, we talked about you, well, I just heard you telling somebody recently it was a double date that we took with you guys to eat at a seafood restaurant in Surf City, and then we walked over the bridge afterwards. And I just love like a a dinner and then a walk in God's nature, like just in yeah, his creation. And that's just like a beautiful.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna say similarly, uh, as the weather warms up, we love an after dinner walk. Yeah, you know, we Kelly and I both work for a living, and well, she works for a living, and I am a pastor. Um you know, during the day we're we're away from each other, and you know, before dinner doesn't usually work, but after dinner, a little after dinner walk now that it's warmer and light later, is just great. It's good catch up on the day.

SPEAKER_04

I love that. I love after dinner walks. You know what else I love? It's free. So all y'all listening to this, you don't have to have a you can do an after dinner walk as a date, it breeds conversation and it's free. You just go out.

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes, you know, some have kids that they can't leave at the house, but we have our way our 10-year-old is still in the house with us. And sometimes she'll ride her bike near us so we can still have some conversation when she's like, you know, out of out of earshot. And so yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we've actually struggled a little bit recently, the last couple weeks. We haven't really been able to get out as much as I would like to. But as I think back on our dates, quite like the walk part is and I was just talking to one of our daughters, Tatum. She's she's married as well, and and she had some of the same thoughts, like, you know, going out to dinner is one thing and it's great, but afterwards when we go for a walk, or if we just walk the dog, that's when they usually have the best conversations. And it's just something about just getting out and walking around that gets your mind moving as well along with your body. Um super helpful.

SPEAKER_02

Don't get me wrong. I love good food.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. A good burger, I tell you what. It's so good to walk that bad boy off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I so I love to walk, and my family knows that. I'm like, let's walk all the time. I want to walk. But something that I love to do in the summer is find like an outdoor garden area. It might be something that you pay for in Wilmington, North Carolina. There's a really beautiful big garden called Airily Gardens. And for military, it's$5 a person to walk through. So if you're ever in eastern North Carolina in Wilmington, we need to do it. Retired military. It's beautiful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Do I get the discount? Yes.

SPEAKER_04

As long as you have a military ID, you it's five dollars.

SPEAKER_01

And right now it's the Azalea Festival is coming around. Some hinting or take it. She's mentioned it to me a couple of times.

SPEAKER_04

But we've lived in other places where I like to look up like, is there an outdoor garden? Like what plants are kind of what is that? Not authentic to the region. Native, native, thank you. I'm like, I can't find the word. Native to the region.

SPEAKER_02

I'm a plant expert.

SPEAKER_04

I love plants. Yeah. So if I can walk through a big garden and look at nature, but I love that that you're a plant expert.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that makes me laugh as we're spraying round. Obviously. I mean, not only pretty plant weeds.

SPEAKER_02

Killing weeds.

Sabbath Rest Versus Leisure

The Fourth Commandment Read Aloud

SPEAKER_04

We don't we're not big. So something and yeah, looking for something that has a military discount is one of my favorite things to do for today. I love a good garden. So yeah, that's fun. Well, today we're gonna get into the topic of Sabbath rest in a high-intensity community, which kind of was why I thought about that. Like dates, you know, those can be times to step away and reconnect. But uh, we're gonna Sabbath rest is a little different. It's not just leisure. This is a purposeful time of worship and connection to God and stopping our work, which in the West and then in the military community is very difficult for us to acknowledge limitation and that we actually need to stop and that our work is never done and we still have to stop. So I'm gonna ask Brian, I think you have it open. If you'll read from Exodus, this is from the Ten Commandments. So this isn't like a recommendation.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, this is not, yeah, this is the law, the Ten Commandments passed down from the Lord to his people. And he says in the fourth commandment, remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male servant or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates, for in six days the Lord made the heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. If you're like, wow, that was a long writing. Yeah, that's the longest. I think it's close to the second commandment, but it's the one of the longest commandments with the explanation of it all.

SPEAKER_01

God probably knew we needed the explanation. Right. He was like, I can't just say rest because they'll come up with all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_02

But it's interesting too that so the Lord instructs this to us, but also He He says, also those which you're responsible for. So your servants, your livestock, all those things. And so if you're in charge of other people, which in the military, they put us in charge of other people really early on in life, like scarily early on in life. Oh, yeah. And and so the principles we're talking about are not just for us individually, but actually those we're responsible for as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

One thing I love about that commandment that as you were reading it, I was like, man, that's so good. The Lord blessed it.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_04

I think sometimes because we're such a high, fast-paced culture, we hurry, the hustle culture is a real thing. We see like, oh, God says I have to rest as like a negative thing, but it's actually a blessing. Like he blessed this day for us. And I think I don't remember the exact passage. I should have written it down, but Jesus says in the New Testament, like the man or the Sabbath is not wait, I'm gonna misphrase this. Oh golly, it's man was not created for Sabbath, but Sabbath for the man. Correct. Yeah, so the Sabbath was for it is not was, it is for us, and it's a good thing. And I don't want anybody to think that's listening to this that we're coming from a place of like, yeah, we've always done this well. I'm gonna speak for myself. This is a good episode for me because God has really dealt with me over just the past few years about rest and having to acknowledge my own personal limitations. And uh if I'm honest, I think subconsciously I thought, oh, rest is for weak people. Like if you have to rest, you must not be high capacity. That's just wrong. Like, no, we all need rest, and it will hit you if you think that's you. I'm just speaking from experience.

SPEAKER_01

So think about the passage uh that that he just read. He gives the example of God himself exampled to rest on the seventh day. So God, when he created the earth, he didn't need to rest. He's all powerful. He can do all things without, you know, uh sweating. You know, it's he can snap his finger, just speak things into existence and and labor over these things without rest, but he chose to make one day a holy day, and then he chose to make that day a day of rest, and he then exampled it and rested for us to see and go, okay, so if I'm saying I'm I'm too I'm I'm too prideful to rest, I can handle all these things and do all these things and just keep doing all these things, I'm saying to God, oh, I'm more powerful than you. I don't need this rest that you've exampled for us. That's all sorts of wrong in every sort of single way.

Rest As Blessing Not Weakness

SPEAKER_04

So anyway, I I think it's important to make note that I might have already said this, but it's not just leisure. Like so the Sabbath is not just like a day for, oh, I don't work, it's just a leisure day of oh, Sabbath is I just take naps, I do whatever you think of as leisure. You can do leisurely things on Sabbath. I'm not saying that, but Sabbath is different, it's very intentional. Joshua just mentioned it's holy. If you look at how the Jews practice Sabbath based off of what they were taught, they worshiped, they were with community, and they were reflective. In Gordon McDonald's book, Order in Your Private World, he says there are three principles to remember about Sabbath rest. One is looking backward, two is looking upward, and three is looking ahead. So we look backwards of like, okay, the week, what's been happening? What did that look like for me? We look upward to God and worship, recognizing He is holy and we are called to be a set apart people, and and so we worship him intentionally, and then we look ahead to the work that's coming or to what he's called us to.

SPEAKER_02

And so if we don't do that, right, so what you just described there, that is a very active processing of our life, right? It's like we we just our brains need the ability to sort all that stuff out, and our spirits need the ability to sort all that stuff out because when we're just in like next task, next task, next task, next thing that needs to be done, next, next, next, we we lose the ability to walk in wisdom before the Lord. And so we need that time to process. It's appropriate to have that time really at the beginning and end of each day, but then we need these days. So the way it is in the commandments, six days you shall work, a seventh you shall rest, and it shall be holy, set apart for the Lord. And so those are very appropriate things to do before the Lord on a Sabbath day. One day a week is an appropriate godly rhythm to do that and to process through. When we fail to do that, that's when anxiety shoots through the roof. That's when depression shoots through the roof. I heard a term recently, doom loop. We get in these doom loops where like our brains just like spiral down towards doom and destruction. That's when we're failing to like order things properly and think through it well before the Lord. So I love that. Look back, look up, look forward as we process our life before the Lord.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that takes some like intentionality that just I don't know, it encourages me because I think especially when you have a job that just requires you to just be on and there's lots of things. I think sometimes I want to have I just wanna not do anything. But and I mean Sabbath is gonna make us like we need to put phones down, screens off, like watching uh, you know, TV or our phones, whatever. That's not gonna be beneficial in helping us process anything. So I think just the intentionality of having that space to process and make yourself do it. I have found that it ends up being more restful, life-giving. Pushes me on than checking out and vegging or whatever, you know, just like sleeping, whatever you would think that would maybe.

Look Back Up Ahead Rhythm

SPEAKER_01

Well, it's that old story of the two axemen who go and chop down wood, and one older guy, one younger guy. Younger guy's obviously stronger, and you know, he's he's more zealous for chopping down wood. And every day they would go out and start chopping wood, and at the end of the day, they would go home. And every day the older guy would go take a long lunch and take an hour or two to go and go home and eat some food and and do whatever you gotta do. And every day they would end at the same time, but the older guy was somehow chopping more wood than the younger guy. And the younger guy would go to the old guy and say, Hey, look, you go away for like an hour or two every day, but somehow you come back and end up chopping more wood than I do. How is that possible? And the old guy would say, Well, I go home, I rest, I eat, I recharge my body, but you know what I also do? I sharpen my axe. Yeah. And so when he goes back out, he ends up chopping more wood because he has a sharp axe. And we need that day to sharpen our axe. We need to go. And there's another one with a string and a bow. There's all sorts of things. And the military has exampled some of these things they've taken from the Christian worldview and they've applied some of these things in some ways, and then not so well in other ways. We do things called after action reports, where we fill out a report saying, hey, we went and did this operation. Here's the things we did well, here's the things we need to work on and not do next time. The problem is not many people actually read them.

SPEAKER_02

Or even take seriously the writing of them. Right. They're like, oh man, those are just something like that.

SPEAKER_01

And then they're today. But if somebody would actually read it and then make those changes, things would be so much better. And when uh for the next operation, the reason I say that is when we we take a moment, if we take a moment each week and look back on our week and then evaluate those things during our time of rest. Go to God with those things of how you should make those changes and how you should apply these things in your life. And then you go forward into your next week learning from your last week, it keeps you from making those same mistakes over and over again.

SPEAKER_00

So I have a question. Yeah, maybe listeners may have this question. So are we saying that there's a specific day that we should take a whole day to do this? Is this like a thing? Yeah, just a couple of hours. Like, what does this look like in just real life?

SPEAKER_01

Thursday, starting at 1401. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_04

I so uh did you want to say something?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think you go ahead and then I'll say I'll say so the biblical uh instruction is uh one uh calendar day per week.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Amen.

SPEAKER_02

The Jews would do sunset to sunset, I believe. And so that would be the evening of one, like the evening of one day into the full day, into the evening of the next one. Actually, there's some real wisdom of doing that. That you finish the work one day, you start the Sabbath, you sleep, you wake up already Sabbathing, you have a full day, you have an evening meal, and then you can start to mentally prepare for what's the next day. So there's some real wisdom to that kind of a rhythm. So one 24-hour day, the seventh day. Six days you shall work, the seventieth shall set you shall rest. It is really helpful if you're in a community where everyone can observe the same day, and that's what the Jewish community would do. That is what the community, like when I was a really little kid, it was hard to find things open on Sundays. Right. Because I lived in a relatively Christian culture. But these days that's not possible. That's just not happening. And in the military, that's not possible.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Like we need people doing military stuff and law enforcement and you know, emergency room doctors, and emergency room nurses, and you know, 911 dispatchers and ambulance drivers, like all those people. You like you don't we we don't need all of you taking the same day off. Right. Right. And so we don't need to be legalistic about that. However, we should always be aiming for a full 24-hour season of rest from our ordinary work each week. We should be aiming for it. There's some other questions I think that we need to address in the military culture, but that's what we're aiming for at all times.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I like that because I we don't want to be legalistic. It's not about the day. It's about the fact that you stop for a day. Whether your day, I think now that y'all are pastors, you know, Sunday is a crazy day for you. So while the rest of the community might find that an easy Sabbath as a military culture, because you tend to have Saturdays and Sundays off unless extenuating circumstances or deployment, you know, Sunday tends to be a day that a lot of like people we know rest. So your day probably needs to be a different day. Like that's a day you're serving and helping these people rest well. You said something interesting to me about the other questions that you would apply to this military culture. Do you want to throw those?

SPEAKER_02

So, like, there are like are there seasons where that's not possible? Right. Right. And I would say, yes. I will give you that. I will give you that there are seasons that that is possible. I will also say those seasons are way less frequent than you might think they are.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Way less, let me say that again. Those seasons are way less frequent than you think they are. And so we fight, we work for Sabbathing well. The other thing is the military does do a relatively decent job of payback most of the time. So if you're in a season, so you're in a training where you're doing 24-7 operations for three straight weeks in preparation for something. A lot of times on the back end of that, they'll give you a three or four-day weekend. Take that three to four day weekend. That's a little catch-up Sabbathing, right? And which is actually a principle in the scriptures. God actually forces it in exile. Like, you know what, you failed to take Sabbath for this season, so I'm gonna force one. Yeah. And you're gonna Sabbath for the next period of time, right? And so take those paybacks. I the military gives you 30 days of leave a year. That is unheard of. Like, go find me a job where an 18-year-old with no training can get 30 days of vacation a year. You can't find it, it doesn't exist. Paid vacation a year. You're not gonna find it. And so so take the leave, take the long weekends and as payback Sabbaths when you need to, right? But also fight for Sabbath. I would also say to bring this back up again, fight for Sabbath for your for your people. I was I remember I was convicted of this. I was in Afghanistan and I was in charge of about a hundred guys, and we were very much in combat, we were very much running and gunning, and yet we were also stable enough and had enough rhythm that we aimed and we started with all right, hey, as you're setting up the watch schedule, as you're setting up the man in the gun schedule, as you're setting up all this stuff, can we get everybody half a day off? Can we get every Marine half a day off on a rotating basis? And then we were able to do it. The leaders were able to do that, and I was like, cool, can we get a full day off? Right. And so I kind of made this like a leadership challenge for my leaders. To see if we could do it. And they're like, what's what's off mean? I'm like, well, hey, if we get attacked, like we're all we're all coming. Like we're not going anywhere. Like you can't leave. You're not going anywhere. But like, hey, dude, you're not on shift. That's your, you know. And some guys were reading books or that was their time to do their laundry. We were hand washing our clothes. Yeah situation. And so, like, there's some other things. So I think that's that's a question is are there times that it's not possible? Yes. I think another question that I've had to wrestle through with this is to define what is work. Right? Because you talked about, okay, what am I doing on the Sabbath? And so I'm looking back, I'm looking up, I'm looking forward. I think it's also to know because it says cease from your work. Other passages say cease from your ordinary work. And so it's appropriate to find, like, okay, what is my ordinary work? What are especially what are the draining aspects of my ordinary work? Those are the things I need to cease from.

SPEAKER_01

And then on the other side, what recharges you?

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

What are things you can do during that time that actually reinvigorates you? Yeah. Because for some people, it is just to like hang out, rest, nap, like physically sleep longer, those kinds of things. Other people, it's it's more of a no, I need a mental break, but I'm still up and moving and and doing things. Maybe it's gardening, like getting out in nature, like we were just talking about for some dates. Depending on what maybe your job is in a dark place and you just need to be in the sunlight. Simple things like that, you you need to think through and actually apply during that time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like if your job is primarily physical, then you might sit down and read a book for your day off, and you might not go, you know, dig in a garden bed somewhere. But if your job is primarily mental, mentally exerting, you may be less apt to sit down and read a book, and you might be more apt to dig in a garden bed somewhere. Yeah. And so that's why it's helpful for me to think through okay, what is my ordinary work, especially what is draining, and then what are the things that are replenishing? Yeah. It's good.

Military Reality Seasons Payback

SPEAKER_04

I think it's interesting you say that because in the book, Order in Your Private World, he asks six questions that are around work. So I'll reorder these since you said work, but what does my work mean? So what is your work? If you know what your work means, it's a little bit, you know, if you're in the military, you know what your work is, right? Like, hopefully, you know your mission. And then asking, like, what is this all for? What is all this work for? How well was my work done? Like, we're reflecting on these things. And I know personally, I wasn't the greatest at stopping and asking those questions. Like, are we even reflecting on the work we're doing and what we're doing it for? And are we doing it well? What are we expecting from our work? Are we receiving something from our work that's, you know, who are we doing this work for?

SPEAKER_03

That's good.

SPEAKER_04

It should be for the Lord. Like all of our work should be for the Lord. And then why did I personally do this work? Am I looking for my own glorification or am I looking to glorify God in it? But Wilbur Wilbur William Wilberforce said about Sabbath in a journal entry, blessed be God for this day of rest and religious occupation. So he's we're looking to the occupation of worship, wherein earthly things assume their true size and comparative insignificance. Ambition is stunted, and I hope my affections in some degree rise to things above. It's a day where we stop our earthly work and we look towards the religious occupation of worship and reflection. Who is God? Why am I doing all of this? And I even took this a little bit further and just asked some questions about mission. Like, what is my mission? Like God's called me to.

SPEAKER_01

Can I wrap some of that into some practical, like what we're what we've been talking about for the last this episode and last episode? We there's there's there's people out there that see work and they go, Oh, okay, this is the work that I'm doing. It's important, it's valuable, it's needed. And the the thought is if I do more of it, that's a good thing. Yeah, because I can get more of that done. Right, right, right. And and they actually have a little bit of a pride in that, like especially in the military. It's like the more I work, the more I do, the more I'm training, the more like that's the more hardcore you are, right? And so, but then there's this other side of well, yeah, but rest is good. And what what the other person doesn't realize, the one who just wants to work, work, work, is in the rest, you actually are more productive. And last episode we talked about making that shift of priorities. If you're working for the Lord and you're doing it the Lord's way, and then you rest the way the Lord commands us to do, it it actually created a more productive, better way of life for everybody. And you were you you described it really well. After you made that shift, your career actually did better and your leadership expanded further.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

Define Ordinary Work And Recharge

SPEAKER_02

And this was a piece of it where I would actually take time off. Right. I I would argue back on the practical, like really practical. I would argue most of us, most of you guys who are in the military, again, we're pastors, so we're weird right now. But uh in the military, most of the time you could from dinner Saturday to dinner Sunday, most weeks you could take off from your ordinary work. If a text message comes through about something or other, ask yourself, could I respond to this after dinner Sunday night? Could I just wait to respond till then? I think most of the time you will find you could do that if you had some pre-planning and foresight to to prepare for that. If you're standing a post on that day, you're on duty, you're standing a post, whatever the case is. Okay, could you back that up and do Friday dinner through Saturday dinner? Right. And and do that. And so I I think most of the time that'll have to happen. If it can't, pay attention. Oh, well, that can't. Okay, can I can I do a makeup day some other time? And again, let's not don't be legalistic about it. Say this is a gift from God, like just to picture it. It's a gift from God. Oh, when can I enjoy this gift? Right. That's good.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, that is good. That's really good. I think to just for our moms with little people, you know, this can be difficult. Ean and diapers still have to be changed, kids still have to be fed. Yeah, but use their nap time purposefully and teach them to Sabbath. Like today's a quiet day. Today we're gonna walk or we're gonna go out in the garden or something, you know what I mean? Don't use that as an excuse because the commandment doesn't actually say, like, oh, the you're excluded if this, this, and this. If we teach our kids this when they're young, it's a lot it's a lot easier for them to obey the Lord and they're watching us. So as we just kind of close up this episode on Sabbath rest, I know there's probably so much more we could say. But I just want to encourage you that Sabbath is intentional. I think back to Genesis, like when God was creating things, he said, This is good, this is very good. Oh, this is not good that man should be alone. We should fix this. And then he rested and reflected on his work and that it was very good. And I think it's good for us to do the same thing. Are we really working for the Lord? It it really causes us to evaluate. Does anybody else have any last-minute thoughts on Sabbath?

Work Pride And True Productivity

SPEAKER_02

Hebrews 4 is really interesting. Um, it two things. One, it reminds us of several Old Testament passages where a lack of rest is God's punishment. And then it encourages us to enter the rest that comes ultimately through Jesus Christ, and that Christ is our rest, our eternal rest. And so, yeah, lack of ability to rest is part of the fall, part of the curse on our creation when we're not able to. Like, literally, you've you're like, I can't this week. I literally can't. Okay, that's part of the fall. Right. And then look forward to when you can enjoy that gift of rest and look forward to the ultimate rest found in Christ in new creation.

SPEAKER_04

Which is so good because that's part of the looking upward. Amen. I love this. In our high intensity communities, we need to find space to rest so we don't burn out, hit walls, all the things. I know one of my goals personally is to finish well the race that's been set before me when I get to the end. So I just want to encourage you all to do that. We love hearing from you guys. And so as we wrap up this episode, if you have something you want to hear us chat about, send us an email to hello at military wellness collective.com. We'll check those and we will create space to talk about the things that y'all want us to talk about. But until next time, friends, we will be back here again Monday, very, very early in the morning. Talk to you then.

SPEAKER_03

See ya.