Episode 3: Ageing Strong & the Power of Self-Love ft. Vanessa Ridout

Are we becoming "invisible" over 40, or are we just getting started?

In the very first guest episode of the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 (MMB40) podcast, I sit down with Vanessa Ridout, the founder of The Epiphany Closet. Vanessa doesn't just make clothes; she hand-designs and presses "emotional armour" for women navigating the highs and lows of midlife!

We dive deep into our shared history - from a chance meeting at a Manchester networking event in 2024 to our exciting International Women’s Day 2026 collaboration. We’re getting real about the menopause and perimenopause transition, reclaiming our bodies through physical strength, and why "wearing your feelings" is a radical act of self-love.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

💗 The "Epiphany" that led Vanessa to start a motivational wellbeing brand from her kitchen table.
💗 Why physical muscle and emotional expression are the two pillars of ageing strong.
💗 How to navigate the "identity crisis" of menopause and perimenopause.
💗 The exclusive reveal of the MMB40 x The Epiphany Closet IWD 2026 collaboration.

Find out more about Club MMB40 here: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/club-mmb40-membership

Join the MMB40 email newsletter here: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/MMB40newsletter

Free resources here: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/resources

Connect with Anneli / MMB40:
Website: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindmusclebeyond40/?hl=en

Connect with Vanessa & The Epiphany Closet
Website: https://theepiphanycloset.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopc4nNxcxFjIoPudZ268C7Mjw7B2pywWOO5UoATy7hYe8l7CEBR
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theepiphanycloset/?hl=en

#AgeingStrong #MenopauseAwareness #WomenOver40 #SelfLove #MMB40 #TheEpiphanyCloset #IWD2026 #WearYourFeelings

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Let us know in the comments: If you could wear one word on your chest today - what would it be? 

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Transcript

Introduction

The birth of The Epiphany Closet

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast. I'm Annali, founder of MMB40, weight training junkie, motivational speaker, dog mum, certified menopause movement coach, and proud South African. If you're a woman navigating your 40s or beyond, and you're ready to reclaim your energy, build strength, and create a lifestyle that helps you thrive as you age, you have found your podcast. On this podcast, we're all about empowering you to take control of your health and wellness journey. And to do that, we focus on the five pillars for aging strong: mindset, muscle, nutrition, biohacking, and managing menopause. On this podcast, you can expect practical tips, myth-busting discussions, Q ⁇ A's, and even some follow-along content. All of this designed to help you age with power and feel amazing. In today's episode, the art of aging strong meets the power of self-love. I'm chatting with the lovely Vanessa Riddard about our shared mission to help women over 40 reclaim their confidence. We're going to chat about menopause realities, the armor that we all need to own our journey. Plus, we're officially announcing the MMB 40 and Epiphany Closet International Women's Day 2026 collaboration. Let's get into it, shall we? Welcome back to the Mind a Muscle Beyond 40 podcast. This is really exciting because today we're not just talking about strengthening your body and mind, but we're actually talking about investing in the armor that you need to wear your journey with pride. And I'm actually talking to the woman today who is literally hand pressing her way into the future of basically over 40's well-being. The incredible Vanessa Redoubt from the Epiphany Closet. She's joining me today, and I'm so, so excited. We've got a wonderful chat planned for you because we've realized that aging strong is a two, a two-part story, isn't it? You're looking after your mind and your body, but you're also taking care of yourself and really leaning into self-love. So we're going to chat about that. And um Vanessa is here to make to chat with me about her own journey as a founder, how she started the Epiphany Closet, and what led her to the moment of deciding to push through into that. But we are basically combining the art of aging strong with the power of self-love just in time for International Women's Day. And we are collaborating and we'll sh we'll share more about that in a while. But this is really interesting because we met for the first time in 2024 in Manchester at a networking event, and I think we just hit it off. Where are we now? Two years later, we've decided to do this podcast together, and it's really exciting because we've got a lot to share, we've got a lot in common. We're going to chat about menopause today. I want to chat as well about the invisible woman myth because it's such a huge myth amongst women in our age age group. And um, you know, I want to talk about the fact that our best years aren't behind us. And so we are collaborating to bring you this podcast. I'm so excited. Vanessa, welcome to the show. Thank you. So good to have you here. She's rocking the Epiphany Closet. Look at that jumper. And I am also rocking my newly branded Epiphany Closet vest. This is my staple piece for the gym, so I'm so excited to be branded when I walk around the gym. Um yeah, it's great. So if you're new to the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast, welcome. This is a podcast where we cover five different pillars of what it takes to age strong and to take care of yourself mentally, physically, hormonally. So we look at topics like nutrition, biohacking, mindset, muscle, and obviously also hormonal health. But this podcast for me is also a channel to bring you incredible women like Vanessa who have a passion for helping women over 40 and not just women over 40, but women in general, to really just lean into self-love and to really just celebrate ourselves a bit more. So thank you for joining us and make sure that you subscribe. Um, and if you're watching this on YouTube, make sure you hit the like button. And let's get into it, shall we? So I'm curious, what was the point where you decided to the specific moment when you realized that you wanted to start your own business? So the moment from thinking I should do this to actually pressing full send. Can you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_01 4:15

To be honest, even in my twenties when I was still having children, I really wanted to I've never liked working for somebody particularly. I've always wanted to be my own boss. I think it's just because I believe in time autonomy, and even in my twenties, I wanted to create something that I could work around having children, and obviously things change, you know, you can never predict what's going to happen. And then I had a hysterectomy in my late 30s, which led to some some like complete body changes, so and complete mindset changes like we were talking about then. Yeah. So going into a corporate world, um, having to sort of provide for my children, I realised I just wasn't particularly enjoying what I was doing. I wasn't really respected as a late. I was how I say it, there was a lot of internal misogyny in my workplace as well. Um I and and obviously going through menopause at such a young age, handling that and and trying to explain that to your, you know, your colleagues and your employers is is is so hard. So I need to my goodness. Absolutely. And I I needed to get out, but I couldn't afford to do that. You know, it was just a case of just pushing through, creating a business while I was still working. Uh and I I literally had an epiphany and and that was a moment. I I think something had happened in my life, and I think this is going to sound really strange, but I think my cat died. It was really weird. Very precious animal to me, a very gorgeous Persian cat, and I and I find it quite funny telling the story, but I think I just it was my I've had a lot of grief. I've dealt with grief in life, so I've I you know this was just to some people an animal, but it actually made me wake up in the middle of the night and I just thought, what am I doing? I feel really sad about this, I feel really unhappy, I feel unhappy in my job. I need to make a change. So I did. I just created the epiphany closet, and do you know what? You know, sometimes you you go round the houses to think, well, I've got to get the proper brand name, I really want this to be perfect. And actually, I had my epiphany, and many people said, Oh, I don't know, it's a bit bit long for a a business. I just needed to do it, and I thought Epiphany closet clothing. And yeah, I do not I've never thought of changing it ever. I've always been really comfortable with it, so yeah, I'm really pleased.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

It's got such a lovely ring to it. Thank you. It really does, and and and obviously, you know, the whole idea of wearing your feelings and what you're actually what's sitting on your heart on your chest. I just absolutely love that. And literally being able to go to your closet to bring those feelings out, that's even better. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, it's a hard one to uh explain to people, you know, when people put a night hoodie on, you know, I mean there's plenty of other well-known brands that I could reference, but you are putting on something that has a slogan and a meaning and that's been going for many years. Whereas something when you start a small brand like this, it's really hard to get started. But and actually it's also really hard to have the confidence to know that your brand is worthy. You know, it's it's a hard it's a hard do.

The Manchester meet-cute: how we connected in 2024

SPEAKER_00 7:17

I think starting being self-employed and starting any sort of business, especially as a woman, is really difficult to build up that self-confidence of pushing forward into an area that's completely new to you. And then you do that in your case where you were doing that while you were were facing these incredible hormonal changes and having kids as well. Um there's a lot of balls in the air at that point, isn't there? So that's um what a journey.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

It's not an e it's not easy. I think also financially, I had to sort of stay my job until I could get the funds together to be able to like take that leap and and leave a full-time job, you know, as the providing.

unknown 7:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yeah. So what year was this when you when you actually started the Epiphany Closet?

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Gosh, I think uh it was 2023. I think I thought about it, yeah. It's been a three years in the sort of space of creating it, but actually launched January um 2024. Yeah, January it was on my birthday.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Because I remember us talking about this. So you and I met in August 2024, a networking event in Manchester, and um big shout out to Fiona from the right field. She launched a business called The Beauty and the Brand, which was essentially a which is essentially an opportunity for women in business to network and to have fun together. So we Fiona and Roxy created this event in Manchester, and uh I jumped on the train with my friend Joe, went up there, and there was a fitness element to it, which was really exciting, and then there was a networking event in the evening. So yeah, we met each other that evening, had a fantastic time. I mean, there were many drinks. There were so many drinks. There was a catwalk as well. I remember the catwalks, but it was so great. And I think one of the things that struck me most about you since when I met you for the first time was just your warmth and your heart for women and just the genuine care and authenticity. I vet whenever I see a post of yours on Instagram and whenever I think of the Epiphany Closet, always I can sense and I can feel that warmth. And you know, whenever I've ordered clothes from you and I'll share my sweater in a minute, so excited about that. But whenever I wear it as well, it's almost like I can feel your love that you put into your business through the clothing and through your presence. Sorry. So yeah, so I just remember being really comfortable when we met each other, and then we just started talking about everything and realized that, you know, it is woman, it's so important for women to un to understand their worth. And it makes me really sad. And I'm reading a book at the moment that talks a lot about self-worth and how self-worth is not the same as self-esteem, because self-esteem is something you feel, whereas self-worth is something you know in your heart. And I feel like, you know, it's that we could probably chat about that for days, but yeah, it just felt really easy when we met and you know, fast forward all this time later, and now we've both got businesses that really focus on empowering women from my point of view with mind and muscle beyond 40, physically and mentally, and from your perspective, you know, the mindset and the community and that self-love. I think it's such a it's so great to see how things have grown since we met. Yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

It it is. I mean, there was such a bunch and a bunch of women, and that was my first ever like networking event. So to go up you know, alone and just walk into a room and you know, it was it was completely sort of out of my comfort zone, and obviously only haven't been in business for six months or say, but yeah, we were so welcomed. And I just remember you walking in, and I just remember saying to a lady I didn't know on the table, I was like, I like that lady's dress.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

I looked like a mermaid wearing a dress. It had literally little shells on it that vibrated when I walked, it was ridiculous, but it was party wear, so you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

It was. No, it was stunning, and I think like you said, we connected straight away, as did we did with most of the women that stayed till the evening. But I think, yeah, I think you're right. I think um you just get that warmth, you just know who you're gonna connect with in life, don't you? And I think when you have the the idea of when someone is empathic, you know, and you like you say excuse me, like you say, the warmth, I think that just comes naturally for me um around people. I just like pip making people feel comfortable. And actually for that to resonate through clothing, I probably don't shout about it enough, but so many people say like your hoodie is like wearing a hug. You know, you're yeah there's so much personal, and that's why I'm a personal brand, you know, rather than a huge brand that's trying to make it across the world.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

That's it. And um I want to touch on this because we actually chatted about this last night, so let's just mention it. You know, as a small business serving women all over the world, our aim is to make people feel seen. And when I coach women, whether it's in my group coaching program or one-to-one, you know, they come to me with the challenges they are facing, and very often they just want someone to listen. It's not, you know, I don't always just talk about protein, even though I talk about protein a lot. The fact of the matter is we are serving these women in a way that is so special so special and it's so authentic, and that is not something that you get from bigger brands. And um we basically the reason I bring this up now is if you're a self-employ-employed woman, implant, employed woman, you'll understand this. We work very hard to create the content. We show up in a way that makes women feel seen and we we we try to offer up what it is that we get really passionate about. But it's so hard nowadays to actually get your content out there and to actually reach the people that you want to reach just because of the nature of social media and obviously there is so much out there it's almost overwhelming. But I just wanted to mention this if you're listening to this podcast or you're watching this on YouTube, you need to hit that button, you need to click subscribe or like because we are sat here as two self-employed women over 40, so we are facing all the battles right now, okay? Yeah. Um, but we are just here to create what we love and to create things that help you. Um yeah, I think what I'm trying to say is just you don't just watch and consume content from women like us, support us because we are here to support you.

Menopause real talk: The loss of confidence and reclaiming your identity

SPEAKER_01 13:10

And that that's where I think the that it makes me a little bit sad about it all. You know, when you come together and you do things visually and you actually meet people in person, it's so amazing you've got that connection. And you're trying to get that across on your social media. Like so for me, Instagram is my key um area of community. But actually, what we're seeing is women are just going online because they're scrolling through to get the support, like you say. Then when you do finally connect with somebody, like you said a minute ago, I actually get women talking to me about their personal life, and I've made so many friends, and actually I can name the first four people that are going to comment on my per and they're all people that I would happily meet in person because they put so much, not just not just the finances into buying from my business, they are fully supportive of me. And there's a saying that goes at the moment you're getting more support from Instagram strangers, which I don't like to call them that, than you are your own friends and family. And let's be honest, they're all there at the beginning, going tap, tap, tap, like, like, like, share, share, share. Now they're all like, ugh, not another boring post. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

It's really working so hard. They always say, you know, you've made it when, you know, it's not just your family and friends kind of buying from you or commenting on your content. So and that, and that to be honest, I that is one of the reasons I started this podcast because I want to create a wider footprint. I want to be able to reach women far and b far and wide. And I think that is, you know, that's where the the joy comes from, isn't it? But it's it's frustrating and it's hard. And actually, this is a very nice segue into us chatting a little bit about um menopause and perimenopause. We are in different, you know, stages 43 this year, 44, I don't know. Yeah, somewhere on there.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

But I am in the thing of the.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

But I am in the thing of perimenopause, and it's also what inspired me to launch Mind of Muscle Beyond 40 last year, um, because everything changed when I turned 40. From my own perspective, being a very fit, active, healthy, strong woman, always been into weight training. Not always, but at least for the last, you know, 20 years. Everything changed in the way that I have to take care of myself, and I don't think I quite realized that until last year was the year that basically broke me. But it's being put in situations like that where you realize the value of actually taking time for yourself, but also that it's okay to feel certain things, and then lastly, having the support system around you for you to be able to cope with these situations, and you and I have had many chats about this. But I I think what's interesting for me with our conversation is we're coming at this from two different perspectives. I have chosen not to have children, so I have a very cute little mini schnauzer, and that's the extent of my motherhood. Um, but I feel like sometimes um this is something we chatted about as well. There there there still is that stigma around women who have chosen not to have children, and so it's easier for us. And when it comes to perimenopause and hormonal you know, changes, etc., I guess it's true in a sense that I don't have those other responsibilities, but I I struggle just as much in terms of showing up for my business, taking care of myself, dealing with the emotions and the highs and the lows.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

So I guess, you know, do you want to share a little bit about your journey with menopause and Yeah, I mean, I think I think there's uh something to be said about like what what we spoke about the other day. Yes, I have, you know, I have four children. It's um I've been on my own with them for quite a few years now. Two adults, two or four adults, two still live with me. But it is hard and it's but like we spoke about, it's hard either way. So whether you're waking up and feeling unmotivated, unlike yourself, you know, which is absolutely fine and okay, whether you're functioning to provide for your family or whether you're functioning to show up, to me it all roots down to the same thing. You know, we're all struggling with admitting that sometimes we don't cope. And I think there's a huge stigma of um, and I would be the first one to hold my hands up to this, about masking behaviour, which is quite um a huge thing in menopause because a lot of people that suffer with ADHD mask it that don't know they have ADHD that then it shows even more imperial menopause and menopause. So my journey compared to someone without having children, I would say I think however you wake up and however your s whatever your stresses are, say stresses mostly are love them dearly when they see this. You still fa you're still facing the same day, you know. I mean, let's not quote that Molly May quote of 20 everyone's got the same 24 hours in the same day. But let's be honest, you know, life brings challenges, whatever, whether you've got kids or not. And to be honest, having gone through menopause for coming up 14 years, you know, I I just think when's it ending? When's it ending? I'm sure my kids are saying, when is it ending? You know, they're in different stages. So yeah. And do you know what the thing is? There's no there is no do you know the biggest thing I would say to anyone listening to this is every day is different and I've tried all sorts of medication. I would love to say I should I should be doing more fitness, but unfortunately, sometimes I don't feel like it. You know, sometimes I haven't got that get up and go.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Yeah, I think that's something really important that you've hit on there because I've I've had this conversation with a lot of the ladies in my group coaching programme. In fact, the most recent conversation was I just don't understand what is wrong with me. I just can't seem to get my arse into gear. And that is a narrative that is again, it's a there's a lot of um there's a lot of blame, isn't there? We blame ourselves, we just can't seem to, but it's just not that simple because you're not feeling yourself. And there's there's a lot to be said for, you know, yes, you should motivate yourself, give yourself a little pep talk, but it doesn't work. It doesn't always work.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Well it doesn't work, and you know the biggest thing that um I'm actually quite into biohacking in certain areas myself, you know, don't get me wrong, there's ways in my my lifestyle I need to change. But the key thing here, and if I could get a microphone and stand on the top of a parliament building and say this, if you don't get your element of your body where you are starting your day off without cortisol and stress, you are just gonna spiral into the the binge eating, the cravings, the and honestly, I feel like I could write a book on it, you know. It's and I'm not even nutritionally trained, but I'm old enough and wise enough to know what makes my day start well. Um, like I've started taking creatine um a few, you know, a few weeks ago, a few months ago, and I I take protein, I take collagen, magnesium, all of the stuff you can imagine. CT oils, you know, I could be plugging wheel powders here. Um love that. But do you know what? And the thing is, and I was on top of my game, and then you just forget to take one one day, then there's a slippery slope. Something in your life will be causing you stress or you're feeling emotional, and then it's just it's a downward spiral. Imagine how many women are going through that right now from 30, potentially 36 up until 60, 60 odd. It's really sad.

Why us women (especially in midlife) need to "wear our feelings" out loud

SPEAKER_00 20:10

It is, and I think it's really important that you've mentioned that. Firstly, all of those supplements are the supplements that I'm shouting about in my programme all the time. I love it. You've basically ticked all of them off. Just taking a quick breather here to talk about your engine. We're hearing Vanessa talk about that aha moment and the importance of self-belief. And if you're looking for your own aha moment when it comes to your health and fitness, I would love to invite you to join us inside Club MMB40. It's my signature group coaching program and it's built specifically for women like us who want to age strong, build functional muscle, and actually navigate the menopause transition with a clear roadmap and a community that truly gets it. But if you're not quite ready for coaching but you want to start taking action today, then please head over to mindandmuscle40.com. I've put together a library of free resources from training guides to midlife wellness tips, all designed to help you take that first step toward a stronger, more confident version of yourself. Whether you join the club or download a guide, let's make sure that your engine is ready for the journey ahead. You can find all the links in the show notes below. Now let's get back to my chat with Vanessa. Creatine is so important. Yeah. Not just for physical, but for brain health. Oh my goodness, so important. But the second thing you've mentioned there is the age. You know, I went when I went to see the GP for the first time when I just wasn't feeling like myself, and I just I was noticing changes in my body and just skin drying, hair thinning, all of these things. And uh she basically straight up just said to me, You're too young. And I kind of thought, well, no, I might be too young for the average, but ultimately lifestyles, and there's so many reasons that women go into perimenopause earlier now, and you should be open to having these conversations. So the one thing I will say while we're on the topic is you need to advocate for yourself. You know your body better than anyone else. If you're not feeling yourself, please, please make To keep track of what's going on with your body. And I actually have a free symptom tracker if you go onto the website that you can download and print out and just use. But the point is it's noticing the things that are changing your body over time. So when I went to see her the second time, I had about, you know, I don't know, six, eight months worth of notes that I kept and I could almost like not just show her and go see, I told you. But it was to see, okay, I can these things are getting better or worse. And then if you are going to start HRT, it helps to keep track of how you're feeling because that is in itself is an experimentation. So you need to be open to experimenting, number one, and number two, know that there's no one size fits all approach. And number three, the form of HRT that works for someone else might not work for you. Yeah. So it's just, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Having tried, because I have my ovaries and my uterus removed, but I still have my cervix, um, quite happy to talk about it. I've tried all sorts of HRT, you know, I'm permanently on estrogen now. I was told to come off progesterone because the uterine lining was safe. So you trust everything that you hear, and you know, there's so many professional celebrities that are talking about it. Even there, there's conflicting opinions. And I but you know what? If there's one thing that I I do need to practice it rather than preach it, um, and you you know this, this is what your whole MMB 40 is about. Getting out in the fresh air, vitamin D, you know, exercise. When I don't move your body, yeah. Oh, yeah, moving, just just moving, just taking the dog out for a walk for half an hour can change your whole day. And that's where my I think where my clothes came into it because I just thought, I'm working from home a lot, I'm in my lounge wear a lot, you know, I want people to feel comfortable. Not everybody is going out to work it all suited and booted.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

And that's where the the affirmations came in of you know, same as your business and all the positivity that comes from that from MMB 40. It's the same as oh, how I feel in people wearing their clothes. Once you feel comfortable for your day and you start your day well, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

You think your life your morning routine is one of the key things, and and one of the biggest things I find with the women that I work with is the morning, the lack of a morning routine. They don't have they don't what you were saying about cortisol is so true, and unfortunately for us, it leads to a plethora of other issues, i.e., you know, belly fat and things like that, which then has a knock-on effect to our confidence and it's a it's a vicious circle. But the point is when some it's not really just someone saying to you, oh, you need to manage your stress, you need to put into place systems that help you cope better with whatever happens the rest of the day. So if you start your day with a little walk, fresh air, some vitamin D, or just some meditation or whatever your form of mindset work is, I can honestly tell you, if I don't sit down in the morning, I usually get up around five and then do a few stretches because I'm a long tall Sally, so if I don't, I know about it. And then I'll go downstairs, do some reading, and just do some affirmations and things like that. When I don't do that, and what you were saying before about not doing something for a day or two, I know about it. Immediately something will set me off or I'll find the day, you know. There will be a reason why I don't feel as in control as I normally would. So it's putting these things into place that's important, but also knowing that you can always come back to it. So when you fall off the wagon, so to speak, because that's the other thing we struggle with, we feel guilty all the time. Yeah. I'm failing again. I didn't do that thing again. Again, I didn't get to the gym three times a week. So one of the big things that I shout about is celebrating the little things. If you did one thing today, celebrate it, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Absolutely. I think at the beginning of the business, I'd I was doing a lot of quotes and sending affirmation cards out with all of the products because so many women were struggling with their self-worth and actually just practicing gratitude every day. I teach my children that, you know, don't wake up and feel entitled that your day is going to be okay. This is where it all stems from. We're not entitled to have those feelings of self-worth and and your expectations be met because they're not, you know, you have to work really hard for it.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah, it's a blessing. And and it's something that was reinforced for me again last year when I lost my mum and I realized not even because our parents get older and we realise that, you know, it's it's part of life, grief. But navigating grief even at this stage is forcing me to look at everything with a fresh perspective. And you know, there are days when everything goes wrong and I think, oh, what is the point of any of this? And then I sit and I close my eyes and I go, but you get to be here and you get to do this thing and you get to experience the sunrise tomorrow. So it's that change of perspective that's so important, which is why I love what the Epiphany Closet stands for, because it's that positive reinforcement all the time. The only difference is it's on a cute sweater or a piece of clothing that makes you feel amazing. So it's twofold, isn't it? Because the mindset part for us as we as we navigate, you know, menopause, perimenopause, it's your mind that can either be your biggest enemy or your biggest ally.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Yeah, well, I mean, I used to read the book called The Chimp, uh, you know, and ugh gosh, it's so true. You know, we've permanently got the little chimp sitting on our shoulder saying, Ugh, you don't look nice today. I mean, I woke up the other day, I was like, oh my gosh, the date of my hair. And I was like, stop talking to yourself so negatively. We didn't I wouldn't say it to any of my friends. Exactly, you wouldn't say it to a friend. You wouldn't, and it's all over Instagram and it's all over social media, but we still do it, we're still critical of to ourselves. But we've been imbr it's been inbred into us from such a young age.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

That skinny, I mean, you know, that's not necessarily a an appropriate word, but it let that's let's be honest. Smaller skinny was smaller as better. You know, but in our day, that's what it was, wasn't it? You know, skinny look better. But now we're moving on to finding a bit more comfort within ourselves, but it's just about getting that balance. Being body confident can come across as people not caring what they look like, and then actually you're not really in a very healthy zone just because you're feeling body confident. It's just about getting a balance.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

It is, and it's being honest with yourself. And it's body image is something that I that I've navigated in my own life for years, having gone through a journey of being really overweight and having grown up with a mum that would say things to me about my weight, and I, you know, I still haven't forgotten those things. Yeah, you never do. Oh yeah, my nan needs to tell me what lovely chunky thighs I've got.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Hey, big thighs save lives, man. Exactly. Bonnie sex, they used to call them, you know, and I'm proud of them. I've got netball legs. I tell you what, they're gonna serve you well when you're older, you know.

The art of ageing strong: why physical & mental strength matters now more than ever

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Exactly. Exactly. But no, I think it's being it's being it's loving yourself enough to be able to focus on your positives and knowing that you don't have to be perfect. None of us are perfect. And I'm actively trying to embrace the things that is part of naturally getting older. Yes, I drink collagen, it's great. I still got wrinkles, the lines around the eyes are still happening, but I do the things now that I think will serve me when I'm 80. Things like that. You mentioned biohacking, you know, doing these things now because I know my 80-year-old self will thank me for that. And that is again the reason why I started M MB40. Aging strong, who cares about being skinny? I don't want to be a frail old lady. I want to be strong. I want to be able to carry all my own shopping when I'm 80, you know? Yeah, absolutely. So it's changing that narrative, and I'm really grateful that, you know, there are women like us out there flying the flag for that, and there is a lot of content on that about social on social media. So it's definitely become a lot more common knowledge that we need to take better care of ourselves and age strong, which is exactly why we're doing this episode. So one thing that I did want to mention was, you know, we chatted last night a little bit about the sort of invisible woman myth. And it's something that is so prevalent for me, especially when women turn 40 and they head into their 50s and 60s, you know, starting to feel like you're actually becoming invisible and that you don't matter. When in reality, if framed correctly, if you can change your mindset and surround yourself with women who lift you up and are saying things like this to you, you will realize that your 40s, your fifties, your sixties can be an incredible season of power and strength if you embrace it and you figure out how to work with your body, not against it. And one of those things is your self-worth and your self-esteem. So doing things that make you feel better, i.e., wearing a jumper that makes you feel like you love yourself, you know? Yeah. Reinforcing that.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. I think I think it's really I think you've just hit a really good point. I think the trouble is we are sort of we were conditioned to not shrink well, yeah, shrink. We just we were meek women, you know, we're we're coming into a new generation now where, you know, and and bringing into the International Women's Day where it sort of links with give to gain. You know, we want to give back to people, we know we're what we're doing's right, we know you and I know where to go and what to do. Um but there's so many people that don't. And actually you hit on something then about we talked about, you know, skinny was a trend. I know m women that are really slim, really slim and slight, they they're desperate to to get bulkier, they're desperate to look after their body. Yeah and they can't because it's just how their frame is. But it just goes to show I I generally think you hit 40 and you your 40s and you just start, it's all about it is about mindset. It's it's all about wisdom. You you gain wisdom and you start making a different journey.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

You do, and I think the sooner you lean into so part of the of the group coaching program that I've got, every morning I drop a little daily affirmation into the group at 6 a.m. So it's kind of like listen to it, don't listen to it, but if you listen to it, you'll feel great. But this morning's affirmation was all around growth mindset versus fixed mindset, and it's something that I've spoken about so much, even before I launched the business, because I'm grateful for my husband, he's basically a growth mindset junkie. So he got me into it. But over the years I've realized that if you have a perspective where you see every challenge as an opportunity or you reframe what you're looking at. So instead of saying I'm too old to build muscle, you reframe it to say that I need to change the way that I'm doing things so I can build muscle. So it's kind of not seeing everything as fixed. And I see this on a weekly basis. Um, when I so I teach a strength class on a Monday night, and when I see these women, most of the women in my class are 45 plus, I'd say, Fiori but younger, but a lot of the women who come will say similar things to me every week about their bodies, about how they're feeling, about the exhaustion, and then we have a little bit of a conversation where I try and help them, but the main thing is not their bodies, it's their mindset. It's the fact that they feel stuck and they can't quite see a way of getting out of it. And so you and I both know in doing what we do, you know, the only way to get unstuck is to do something. But very often it's just not that obvious. So again, I'm loving the fact that with International Women's Day as well, I love the fact that what we're creating is we are giving we are giving these women the tools to take better care of themselves. And it doesn't have to cost you the heaven and earth. Small tweaks make a big difference.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Well, I think the trouble is we were talking about what people are spending their money on, and when you think about HRT, mostly is free for most people, and if you can get on it and you or if you need it, then it's it's a certainly a start to where you need to get into programming how you feel. Before we just like head on to like the International Women's Day thing and coming together, I I really wanted to share something that I think is not shared enough. I mean, it probably is by celebrities, but I am really, really, I'm really hopeful that people like us get heard because we are actually living in it and can tell the stories rather than reading from a textbook. You're born with estrogen in your body and progesterone and testosterone, all of the hormones that you need. You you're born with a level thyroid function. Now, what women aren't seeing is what they're what they're going through in menopause when your um eggs are decreasing and and you know your your body's declining. You're aging, so you're losing you're depleting it all, so you're losing all of it. So this is even some of my friends didn't even know that that's what menopause was. They didn't know that they didn't have estrogen anymore. They didn't know that they haven't got progesterone. And we didn't have these conversations when we were younger, it'd be our generation. Yeah. But it's but it's crazy to think that women still don't know that what what our body is doing and aging. It's we're not just because we're our skin's aging, it's because you're losing all the hormones that you're born with, you're now losing them. By the time you're 60, you'll have none in your body. Now that that's quite scary, and that's why we need to look after and supplement ourselves, you know, not just in NHS. Um I'm not just plugging NHS like HRT because you can do it a lot of women can do it naturally as well.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

I I honestly I um you know, we've come a long way with HRT as well, you know, being told way back then, not us necessarily, but previous generations being told that it was dangerous and that it was linked to cancer, etc. There's so much research out now that actually proves that to be incorrect. But not just that, it the fact that there are benefits for brain health.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Yes.

EXCLUSIVE: Our IWD 2026 collaboration reveal

SPEAKER_00 34:59

And if you've come from a family where there's any kind of history of cognitive decline, I cannot state this. Like I'm would really encourage you to look at HRT. And one of the biggest things that I've found in all the different research that I've done for the program is to start earlier. Yeah. To not wait for the car to go off the cliff before you actually start. Because at that point, what you've just said is so right. Why are you waiting until the very end of whatever estrogen you've got left before you start it? Why not phase it in sooner so that it's a smoother ride instead of falling off a cliff and then you try and manage what's happened? So I think it's nice that we've had a very honest conversation about that because you know, yeah, I went on to HRT when I was 42, which is very young. But at the same time, I knew that I had to do something and I knew that I had to at least find a route that would not just preserve my brain, but also bone density. We don't think about those things. But when you lose estrogen, you start losing more muscle, bone density, and all of those things. So again, it's thinking about yourself when you're in your 80s.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I I did a walk with Menopause Mandate in October 23 with Carol Vorderman and um a few other, I think Lisa Snowden was there and some other celebrities, and it was really lovely. It was it was when it was all going to Parliament and you know it was starting to get talked about more. Um like you said earlier, you know, HRT doesn't, it's not one size fits all, but the sooner we don't sit in denial about it and you know start acting on it before it happens, you know, the the better. I mean, we could shout that from the rooftops. It I mean luckily it is. We should do another episode just on HRT. I know, I know. It would, yeah. I mean, I mean I'm not medically trained, but you know, after being years going through it, I know what works and I know what doesn't for me personally.

Rapid fire: One piece of advice from Vanessa for the "Invisible" Woman

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Yeah. And to be honest, I think I've learned so much over the last year. I think so. I decided to qualify as a menopause coach last year, and oh my goodness, I thought my brain would explode with everything I've learned. And that also then, you know, tied in with not just what you were saying about natural changes to your lifestyle, what you're eating, how you're moving, you know, the I I posted content yesterday about macronutrients. A lot of women don't even know what macronutrients are. And so it's kind of taking a very grassroot approach at how we educate women. So and again, that's why it's so nice to collaborate with the Epiphany Closet on what we're doing for International Women's Day because we are taking the theme of aging strong, we're combining it with self-love, and we are shouting, shouting it from the rooftops, basically. So I did want to mention one thing before we should really have closed my inbox because now it's pinging fantastic. I do want to mention one thing before we move on to just chatting about our collaboration for International Women's Day. One of the big things that you and I are champions of is a hands-on approach, you know, making women feel seen and just doing things that make people feel special, not just being mass media, mass producer, whatever. So your big thing is obviously designing and pressing everything yourself, which is I can imagine just incredible from a work point of view. But basically adding that layer of soul to your product is what makes them so special. And at this point, I would like to share this beautiful I don't know if you can see the colour properly, but it's lavender and it's stunning. It's gorgeous, it doesn't it lovely. So I've got branded MMB40 sweaters, people. This is insane. And this lavender for spring, I'm gonna be swanning around in it everywhere. But the quality of this, and it's so soft, and I put it on the other day and I didn't want to take it off, and I just thought I kind of want to save it, but I probably just want like five different ones in different colours. But it looks incredible. So you and I are collaborating, but I just wanted to give you a massive shout-out because the level of care and attention you take on these products and obviously the vest as well, the level of printing, the detail, the quality incredible. Love it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Yeah, it's definitely something I pride myself on. I think it's so much out there, you know, and there's so much competition. And and do you know what I've actually started stopped trying to compete because yeah, the people that are in your community are the people that stay and know your brand exactly. You can try and be so big, but actually quality and luxury and community over, you know, it just it's it's at the forefront of my business. It's a big passion.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

I love that. And that's why it's that's why it works so well. That's why, you know, people keep coming back, isn't it? Yeah. If you're watching, sorry, if you're listening to this podcast on Spotify, you won't have seen the beautiful sweater. So you're gonna have to go over to YouTube to see the little video clip of the sweater if you want to see what I'm talking about. But you and I are collaborating for International Women's Day, and we will be creating content, we will be sharing each other's messages on both our websites, so keep an eye out for our social media on what the sort of exact collaboration is. But it's essentially combining our two passions of aging strong with the power of self-love and giving women the platform to not just feel better about themselves, but actually remind themselves how amazing they are. We'll be right back to the conversation in just a second, but I have to share a little update with you first. You've heard Vanessa and I chat about the armor that we wear, you know, those pieces that make us feel seen and unstoppable while we're doing the work. Well, I've been wearing a couple of prototype MMB40 branded pieces for the last week, and the response from you all on social media has been so lovely. So I'm really excited to announce that I'll be making some of this gear available to you to buy right after International Women's Day. Now it's not a huge full collection, it's just a few select high-quality pizzas that we've created together to help you feel strong and part of this community while you train. So if you want to be the first to know when these select pizzas drop, get that early bird notification in. You've got to be on the mailing list for that to happen. So click on the link in the show notes and drop your email there. And stay tuned because Vanessa and I are just getting started. We've got loads of very special collaborative surprises coming your way soon. Now, back to the conversation. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

Listen, we've we've got to be here to uh shout about ourselves from the rooftops, you know. Start loving yourself. I mean, we don't always find it that easy, let's be honest. It's not, you know, every day's different.

Our words of the day: Self-Love & Grateful

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Yeah, and that's the whole reason, isn't it? It's having a community like this around so that on the days when you don't feel great, you can tap into it, you know where to go. That's a thing. So I thought we would kind of end the episode with a bit of a just a kind of I thought it'd be a cool question to ask you. So I'd love to hear if you had one piece of advice for a woman feeling invisible after 40, what would that be if you could give them one piece of advice?

SPEAKER_01 41:34

My advice would be just because we're aging doesn't mean we have to shrink. We don't have to Do you know there's an old saying, isn't there, like grow old gracefully? I think that was something my nan used to say. I always think of Catherine Tate when I think of this. Because who wants to grow old gracefully? Let's let's be honest. Um all I would say is keep healthy, keep checking in on yourself, be kind to yourself, and you know, just do it do the things that you've been putting off, which is links with the my hoodie drop tomorrow. I just thought I'd add that in. You know, do it anyway, whatever you're scared of doing, don't put it off, challenge yourself and do it anyway, because you'll never regret doing it, but you'll always regret not doing it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Biggest piece of it. That's good. That's so, so good. I love that. That is a wonderful note to end on. And actually, um, the other thing I was gonna say was I will add links to our collaboration pages and to our social media and everything below this episode in the show notes and in YouTube in the description, so go and check that out. But I want to know so if you could give someone a motivational quote or a feeling to wear for the day, what would you put on your sweater today?

SPEAKER_01 42:42

My well, I have one that has been the top seller and it's my favourite one. Little bit of something that I have struggled with in the past, and that is just show up consistently. I think you know, if you are consistent with what you your goals are and what you really want to get out of life, you will make it. I think it's not easy to stay consistent, but showing up for yourself, you're not doing it for anybody else, you're doing it for you, and that's really important. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

You and I are so aligned, like literally everything we just said, like I am bang on about consistency more than I'm bang on about protein. But consistency doesn't mean perfection. And I think that's something that as well as women we tend to forget because consistency can mean doing one thing, one tiny thing, whereas you know, we tend to think it has to be the biggest thing for it to make a difference, but it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

Oh no, actually, and that's something that I was going to say. If you manage one positive thing in a day off of your list that you really wanted to get done and you don't get the other five things done, then you need to pat yourself on the back for it, you know. That's it. I do need to start practicing that myself, though.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

It made me laugh though, because so Nessa sent me a reel last night about this um business owner saying, didn't answer these emails, didn't respond to this and this and this, just to create a piece of content that would get 17 likes for whatever and then twenty unfollows. Made me laugh because I had a list as long as my arm yesterday of stuff that I need to do. And in the end, I think I answered a few emails and I made a reel. Yeah. And I thought to myself, no, but this is important. This is an important piece of content. You know, and then you can think to yourself, it's just it's crazy. But I did give myself a pat on the back. So good. We need to do that more.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

I spent about three hours trying to edit a video that I didn't like. And what we spoke about, I am going to be going on and doing a reel. Just talking about, you know, guys, tap the button, show it some love. Hit the only way we can leave a comment on social media.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

You know, stop lurking. Yeah. Right? Stop doom scrolling and doom scroller or a lurker. No one likes that. Well, since both our brands are very community focused, I thought I would ask you guys, so if you're listening to this, I know you're watching this on YouTube, I want you to let us know in the comments what's one word, what's the one word that you want to wear on your chest today? Let us know in the comments. And I want to know the answer from you as well. What's what's the one word you want to wear on your chest today?

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Me. Just self-love, per se. Self-love, you know, because it's covers like a huge scrape, isn't it, of meaning, you know, just love yourself. That's just the biggest word you can say.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

That sums it up. What about you?

SPEAKER_01 45:15

What would yours be?

SPEAKER_00 45:16

My word is grateful. Because I'm immensely grateful for you coming on to this episode. It's been an absolute dream. You're my first guest on the podcast, so thank you for, you know, loved it being the first guest. And it's an absolute I'm starting, I'm setting the bar real high. So, you know. But yeah, just grateful and really grateful for my beautiful MMB40 merch and grateful that you and I get to collaborate. So yeah, just in general, really grateful. And also really grateful that it's Friday today. Well, hundred percent. So yeah, it's all good. Thank you so much for joining me, Nessa. It's been an absolute dream. And thank you for tuning into this very special episode of Mind and Muscle Beyond 40. I hope you enjoyed my chat with Vanessa as much as I did. And I hope the chat also showed you how powerful it is when we combine the physical engine of MMB40 with the emotional armor of the Epiphany Closet. We are so aligned in our mission to champion women over 40, and this is truly just the beginning of our journey together. Now, I know many of you have been asking about the MMB40 branded merch you've seen me wear. It's not live just yet, but we will be launching it right after International Women's Day. To be the first to know when the shop goes live and to get early access, make sure you're signed up to the newsletter. The link is in the show notes. And definitely keep an eye on both our social media channels because Vanessa and I have some very special collaborative offers to come in the future. Before you go, join the conversation. Head over to Instagram or the YouTube comments and tell us your word of the day. Vanessa's word was self-love, mine was grateful. What is yours? If you love this chat, please subscribe, leave a five-star review on Spotify, and share this with a woman who needs to be reminded that she is unstoppable. Keep building your engine, keep wearing your armor, and we will see you in the next episode.