Mind and Muscle Beyond 40

Episode 5: Unapologetically YOU - the audacity of the pivot ft. Lu Featherstone

• Anneli Marinovich • Season 1 • Episode 5

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The Self-Love Revolution: Reinventing Life After 50 with Lu.

What happens when you stop shrinking and start taking up space? 

In this episode of the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast, I chat with Lu - a 55-year-old women’s empowerment activist, "accidental influencer," and professional shame-buster. 

Lu’s journey isn’t a straight line; it’s a collection of wild, messy, and beautiful chapters. 

From her childhood as a vicar’s daughter to her days as a Club 18-30 rep, and eventually a 10,000-mile solo bus tour across America, Lu has mastered the art of "reckless optimism". 

She joins me to share how she navigated divorce, perimenopause, and financial "crickets" to build a life centered on being radically REAL!

Inside this episode:

  • The power of chapters: Why viewing your life as a book helps you sit in peace with the "sh*t bits". 


  • That naked volcano photo: The viral moment that sparked an unraveling of Lou's old life and a new era of body confidence. 


  • Finding your squad: How a hiking group in Oregon became the catalyst for physical and mental strength. 


  • Winner winner chicken dinner: Lu’s simple but powerful tool for retraining your brain to focus on the wins. 


  • The Unshrunk Collection: How Lu is bringing fun, flair, and relief to the menopause space. 


  • Shapeshifting with the sh*t: Practical advice on how to handle viral hate and judgment while staying true to yourself.

About Lu:

Lu is a disruptor and the founder of the Unshrunk Collection and Self-Love Camp. She is dedicated to helping women navigate the "messy middle" of ageing with confidence, humour, and a lot of "giving fewer funks". 

Connect with Lu:

  • Website: https://luinluland.com/
  • Instagram: @luinluland

Connect with MMB40

  • Subscribe: Don’t miss an episode of the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast - hit that subscribe button!


  • Review: If this episode inspired you to "shapeshift with the sh*t," please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.


  • Follow Anneli: @mindmusclebeyond40

#SelfLove #LifeAfter50 #Perimenopause #Mindset #WomenEmpowerment #MMB40

Timestamp chapters:

0:00 Introduction to The Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast

1:05  In today's episode: The audacity of the pivot

3:28 Meeting Lu at an event in Brighton & the importance of mindset after 40

6:24 Life Chapters and Personal Growth

9:24 Community and Connection

12:24 The Journey of Self-Discovery

15:27 Fitness and Confidence Transformation

18:25 Navigating Relationships and Change

21:25 Embracing Menopause and Personal Boundaries

24:00 Embracing Vulnerability and Boldness

26:20 The Journey of Self-Discovery

28:38 Reinventing Life After Divorce

30:22 The Bus Tour: Connecting Women Across America

33:14 Empowering Women Through Fashion and Fun

39:02 The Accidental Influencer: Authenticity in Marketing

43:29 Challenging Societal Norms and Body Image

46:51 Planting Seeds of Confidence

50:21 Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

54:18 The Unshrunk Collection: A New Venture

56:55 The Self-Love Camp Experience

1:00:33 Journaling: A Tool for Reflection and Growth

1:05:07 Celebrating Wins: Shifting Perspectives

Thank you for listening. Be sure to hit the SUBSCRIBE button if you enjoyed the episode and share it with friends wherever you're listening.

Follow MMB40 on social media for more tips & free content:

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Check out the Club MMB40 exclusive membership: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/club-mmb40-membership 

Interested in 1:1 coaching with Anneli? Learn more about the Legacy Body Programme here: https://www.mindandmuscle40.com/the-legacy-body-programme 

Introduction to The Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast

SPEAKER_01

Welcome back to the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast. I'm Annalie, founder of MMB40, certified menopause coach and weight training junkie. If you're a woman navigating your 40s or beyond and you're ready to reclaim your energy, build strength and create a lifestyle that helps you thrive as you age, you've absolutely found your community. On this channel, I'm all about empowering you to take control of your health and wellness journey. By using the MMV40 framework, I give you a holistic roadmap for aging well. So we look at five pillars mindset, muscle, nutrition, biohacking and menopause. On this show you can expect practical tips, myth busting discussions, some really eye-opening chats with wonderful guests, and even some follow-along content. Stick around. Welcome back to the Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 podcast. And today's theme is all around the audacity

In today's episode: The audacity of the pivot

SPEAKER_01

of the pivot, finding your voice when life unravels. And I'm really excited to interview today's guest. But if you're new to the podcast, welcome. Mind and Muscle Beyond 40 is an all-in-one wellness ecosystem built on really five pillars that every woman over 40 should be paying attention to. Mindset, muscle, nutrition, biohacking, and managing your menopausal symptoms. A very big part of this podcast is, however, mindset. And today's guest is a shining example of how taking control of your mindset in midlife is crucial to really own your confidence and really step into your power as a woman. So without further ado, let's jump into this episode. And I am beyond excited to have a chat with today's guest. I mean, can we just take a minute to appreciate the outfit? Incredible. But before I introduce Lou, look at her, before I introduce her properly, I want to read a little bit from her bio because honest to God, it is sensational. So Wonderful Lou is a 55-year-old woman's empowerment activist. She is a self-love and confidence coach, a podcaster, motivational speaker, MC, event host, disruptor, shame buster, accidental middle-aged influencer, my favorite part, Hike Squad CEO, celebrant, and captain of the self-love squad. And really that is just scratching the surface, people. Lou, welcome to today's podcast episode. I'm so honored to have you here. Um yeah, honestly, I so Lou and I met at a networking event it actually for International Women's Day earlier this morning.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you did!

SPEAKER_01

And I I just kind of put on my big girl pants and I went up to Lou and I was like, honestly, I've been following you for years. I've been so inspired by you, and I need you on the podcast. And she just said yes. So welcome. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_00

It's funny, I think I get I get requests for podcasts from people going, I don't know, I haven't got many listeners, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I have never ever once had an invite for a podcast and then gone to see how many followers they've got and made a thing on that. I've done podcasts where I think one person's listened. Because I, you know, so many people have helped me on my journey. And, you know, I just, you know, any opportunity I get or any wisdom I can impart or anything, it's always, I don't know. I don't know who says no. But anyway.

SPEAKER_01

You would be amazed. And talking about influencers, you know, you would be amazed. I think people, unfortunately, we're

Meeting Lu at an event in Brighton & the importance of mindset after 40

SPEAKER_01

now in a place where people believe their own hype. And um, and I also appreciate that people are busy, you know, there's only so many hours in the day. But it is just hugely refreshing how down to earth you are. And having seen you in action as an MC at this incredible event, um, I immediately just felt like, you know, you were just your passion for women and the sort of radical self-love journey that you've been on as a woman. I just knew I had to have you on the podcast because one of the biggest things for my listeners is mindset. You know, we go, and I know that you're 55, but I'm 43 this year, I think. But one of the biggest things that we always talk about is mindset because it just gets harder and harder and harder to pick yourself up, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with your shit, right?

SPEAKER_00

It's literally the key to everything, really. Um, and it's something that's in everybody's reach, right? It's something everybody can do. That's not gonna cost you any money. There's no monthly subscription to mindset. So true. Yes. It's something you can do for free. Um, I'm not saying it's always easy. You have to get the tools to sort of like keep reminding yourself. Even I have to do that. I was coaching. I had a I've got a self-love coach, and she's um she is setting up where I mean, she came to me, she's trying to raise her profile, she's trying to raise her coaching business for, you know, she's all about ditching the diets and you know, taking control of your relationship with your body. And you know, she she has a picture, she has a photograph of herself when she was 10, and it was the first time she remembers thinking I'm fat. She was 10 years old. God, wow. And she remembers the picture being taken, and she remembers that feeling, and that's and she's had a lifetime of eating disorders that she's now, you know, still of course it's a lifelong battle for for nearly all of us, but yeah, um, she's now, like most women, turning her shitty hard bits into you know, help for somebody else.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But she's still she's struggling, so I'm I'm trying to encourage her to uh build a community rather than just I can help you make reels, I can teach you how to send, you know, whatever newsletters. But how about building a community where you bring women together to talk about that? Because we have not got time now for coaching one-to-one. I'm like, nope, I'm building leaders. If you're not just building a community, I started off, my mission was always one woman at a time, and now I'm like, right, no, we need to build community now. We need like now is the moment. So I'm sort of really pushing her out of a comfort zone to build this community and like of like-minded people. I'm like, go and nab all those women from Slimfast who are gonna be able to do it. Oh my goodness, yeah, 15 pounds a week, get them to come and have and talk real shit with you, and like, you know, and offer some solutions that aren't based in calorie counting and setting up.

SPEAKER_01

Some real, real connection, true connection, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um and then your coaching business will will come from that, but this is where the power's at. So I'm really pushing her out of her comfort zone with it a little bit. And last week she went, I'm really, really, I'm just I think I should just apply for a job in Tesco's. And I'm like,

Life Chapters and Personal Growth

SPEAKER_00

absolutely not. I said, but you know, there's been days when I've gone, I can't do this, and applied for a job in Starbucks. I mean, I applied for a job in Starbucks when I was where you are, and I didn't get the job, and I was like so mortified. But it's for a reason. I didn't get it for a reason.

SPEAKER_01

You know what? I'm a big believer in that, and you know, what is meant for you will be, but pretty much all what any time in life, the stuff that is worthwhile is always going to be the hardest stuff. And just pushing through that is what makes you be the per you know, become the person you are. And I think you've probably had a lot of experience in that because you've been on your own wild ride of self-love. I mean, do you want to do you want to just share a quick sort of sort of overview of your I I feel like you've had sort of your you've been through almost like the first mesamorphosis and now you're kind of mid the second one, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I think so. I call them the chapters, really, because I think you know, one day I was writing my book, Synopsis, which I still haven't actually written, but I got as far as the synopsis. Well, that's something I get very sidetracked. The ADHD is not out for some days. Hyper focus is like groundbreaking, world record breaking, but the procrastination, oh my god, yeah, yeah, and easily distracted. But the when I was writing it, I was like, God, my life, it was actually quite easy to write the chapters because the my chapters, my life has fallen into so many distinct sort of chapters, and they're so and so now one of the key pieces of advice I always give people is think of yourself as this best-selling book, and there's all these chapters, right? And there's good chapters and there's bad chapters and there's traumatic chapters, and I bet there's chapters in there that you would probably maybe think about rewriting if you could, but actually, if you can sit in peace with your you if you look at it as a book and all these chapters, hopefully you can sit in peace even with the shit chapters, because they're the bits that make you who you are. Yeah, and half of you would be missing if you didn't have all of those chapters. It all goes to make up this bestseller. So true. I love that. If you could ever write the damn thing, it's gonna be a bestseller if you can sit your ass down and write it. But uh, I'm gonna do this as quickly as I can. So I was born a vicar's daughter, um, which meant moving. We moved loads. I mean, that's a weird that's I just said that as the main thing that came out of being a vicar's daughter, but I think it was quite a distinct part of it. Wherever God called, off we hoofed. And I think that now I realize as a child that was really hard. It was it was helpful if I'd got myself a bad reputation in school because I was rather fond of the boys and getting into trouble. Okay. Um, so I could move and start again. So I I learned to reinvent myself over and over again. And I also grew up in learning how to read the room because the front doorbell was always going in the vicarage. So it might be somebody who who's bereaved and they come for a f like to organise a funeral, it might be a couple coming to get married or looking for a baptism,

Community and Connection

SPEAKER_00

could be somebody homeless looking for food, it might be the bishop, um, it might be the mayor. Like you just never knew who would be at the front doors. So I was making home beans on toast for the homeless around age 10. Um, you know, and just it was wild growing up in the vicarage, but that sense of community, um, whatever you think of religion, that sense of community and gathered being gathered together in common purpose, you know, whatever it may be, now I realize it's not just church. It can be your workout class, your hiking group, your girl gang, whatever it may be, even if it's not a regular thing, but that, you know, what's better than a girl's weekend, that moment of all being together, like what's done. That's where power is. It's in community and connection. Um, you know, so I've sort of almost done a full circle to that point. I love that. Um, grew up loads, became very nimble at moving, reinventing myself, started again. Uh went off. Um, I couldn't get into college, I couldn't get into university. I did my A levels, wanted to be a social worker. Couldn't get into college then until you were 21 to do social work. You had to go off and get some experience in the social work arena. So I wanted to work with young offenders. So I went off to Cardiff for a year, worked with young offenders. Then I went to Berlin and became a youth worker for British forces kids out there. Yeah. Then I left there. I know. That was wild. Left there and went to and became a Club 18 to 30 rep. And now, if you don't know what club 18 to 30 is, it was basically Tinder holidays.

SPEAKER_01

It's a good job.

SPEAKER_00

My job was to get everybody stoned and laid and then bail them out of jail the next morning. So I was really, really, really good at all. So I did that for a little while. Social work sort of sort of gradually slipped down the list of sort of well. I mean, it is still social work, isn't it? In a different way. Social work, just in a different kind. And also I was in my early 20s and I was having the time of my life. I was in Ibiza, I was in Tenerife. I was like, it was they were the years for traveling, right? Yeah, for sure. I came back from there. Then I met a then I met an electrician from Kent who'd come out on club come out on holiday and sort of decided to stay and work in a bar, but I was ready to come home. So I came home and I fell into advertising and um got into advertising uh and managed to somehow land myself in a really super cool ad agency. Um where and I started as the as the admin girl, and then I became the account executive, and then I got into the PR department, and then I got into comms, and then I met my husband at this at that agency. Um and then we both and then when I had my son, we moved to Brighton.

SPEAKER_01

So how old were you when you met your husband?

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Um I had to kiss more frogs than you can take a sit-and-down stick at, and then this lovely, beautiful man. Um, this lovely, beautiful man who was the very first man who refused to sleep with me on the first date. Well he's a keeper.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

SPEAKER_00

I was like, my god, this must be love. This is what love is. He doesn't want to sleep with me. That's how low my bar was for love. But in fairness, he was an absolutely beautiful man. So I married the beautiful man, we had a beautiful son, we had a beautiful life, we lived in Brighton, he was in advertising, but Brighton was too far for me to commute with Oscar. So I sort of re-resettled again in Brighton, I guess. So I then I had to, you know, it was another starting again. So I just started working in baby swimming, and then I bobbed around doing some odd things that fitted in with with him. And then I finally got into social services. I finally became a community family worker. Wow. So where families were in crisis and the kids were about to be removed and put into care, I'd go in as a sort of super nanny style social services super nanny and sort of teach parenting skills. Wow, fancy. And I loved that job so much.

SPEAKER_01

So you went full circle back to the social side of things again. So it was meant to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And I was really good at that. And I get and lots of young mums, lots of teenage mums struggling with their babies. And I think now I look back at that, the reason I was good at that job, and I was really good with naughty kids, is because I'm so frank and honest, and that's what they need. And I remember working with young mums and being like, it's really fucking hard. And they're like, You can't say that you have a social services. And I'm like, uh, I'm a human being. Like, it's really, really hard. No one's expecting you to be perfect, and no one said that to these girls or these young people. I was like, I was like, this isn't, this shouldn't be new news. And then my husband got offered a job in Portland in America, big fancy advertising job. So Oscar hoofed to America. Yeah. Oscar was 10. Um, and I think, I mean, at the time I was like, what are we doing? Because we had beautiful, we had a really good life. It was a bit, it felt selfish to go shake it up, but we with Guy commuting every day to London, we were just living separate lives. You know, I'm working for social services, he's making ads for Coca-Cola. You could literally not, we were living in such separate worlds. We were like really sort of like losing each other. Yeah. So America was a beautiful opportunity for us to go and have a new life and a new adventure together. And he got offered a job in Portland, Oregon. And I remember being like, I don't want to go to fucking Portland. Where's that? Where's even Oregon? It looks really like grungy and green and like lots of mountains. But yeah, he was like, I'm not moving to California just for your suntan, you know. And I was like, okay, fine, we'll go to Oregon. Anyway, we were very outdoors, we had big snowboarders and campus. So I mean it's it was absolute heaven. And that really from the day we arrived, we started to lose each other even more. He had to he started his new job and I couldn't work. I didn't have a visa for work. And so I was gifted 18 months of not being able to work, even if I wanted to. And I started a hiking group of women,

Fitness and Confidence Transformation

SPEAKER_00

and this changed my life forever. These women, this group, these adventures that we had every week. It happened all by accident. And these are women you just met through school. Yeah, school. I did the first hike by myself and just posted it on Facebook. And one of the mums at the school gate said, Can I come with you next week? And I was like, Yeah, sure. Bring a mate if you want. So the first week there was me, the next week there was two of us, the next week there was four, the next week there was and some weeks there'd be 30, and some weeks there'd be four of us. Like it just depended who would come. Yeah. But each week the only rule was you had to bring something to share for lunch, and you had to bring a can of hiking wine because in America they put champagne in a can and it's so civilized. I love that. I really should bring that here. I just you can get cocktails in a can now, can't you? But like I know. I love that. Excuse me, having a swig of tea. And but they changed my thing finding fitness. I found CrossFit at the same around the same time as starting the hiking. So the strength that I got from these women and these adventures and getting fit gave me a confidence in my body I'd never had before. It gave me a mental strength. Lou, what age were you at this point? Uh probably at the same age you are like 43, 44. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so this went on for I started coaching the kids CrossFit, I started coaching kids track and field. So I sort of mishmashed my new fitness with the kids and sort of did that. Amazing, yeah. And again, that sort of sense of uh achievement of watching them achieve stuff was just like amazing to me. And the CrossFit community are just bad asses, you know. You've got to people go, you know, you either sort of crossfit or you don't. I think you've got misrepresentation around the community, but that that community, they will stand and they cheer, it's gonna make me cry. They will stand and they clap the last person in, and no one leaves until the last person finishes. And so although you're it's just I'd never experienced anything like that. And the Americans are so like, fuck yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. I I honestly like I I've literally just come back from Florida, and and every time I'm in the US, I kind of don't want to come back, if I'm honest, because there is that sense of support and just cheering each other on, and it's it's it's it's addictive to be honest. I love that.

SPEAKER_00

You can say a lot about America, obviously, it's you know, but everywhere has its tricky parts and its tricky people, but that sense of um success and um they want you to succeed, and that is very different to British mentality. The American dream is everything is possible, yeah. And they want you, they want that to be a thing. And I'm talking from a place of very wide privilege here. Um, so my experience is not that of

Navigating Relationships and Change

SPEAKER_00

everybody, but you know, so then after this this epic rise in my confidence, you know, my husband's confidence was actually sort of we we'd lost each other, completely lost each other along the way. I, you know, I'm changing quite dramatically at this point, and I'm also reaching perimenopause around 48.

SPEAKER_01

So so he so two quick questions on this. So he wasn't doing the CrossFit with you.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

In fact, he found the CrossFit incredibly difficult.

SPEAKER_00

So I had always I'd always battled my food, I've always been, you know, I've gone up and down in my weight, but I'd also, you know, mostly been sort of relatively skinny post having Oscar. And um, when we were in the UK, I'd joined a boot camp, which I'd loved. It was out in the park every morning at 6 a.m. and that was wicked. Um and then I reached a point where I wanted to get more ripped. Um, I think social media was really starting to take off, Tumblr would had started, and I kept seeing like really sort of like toned ripped birds, and I was like, I want a bit of that. I want some of that. I want some of that. So in boot camp, wasn't there wasn't enough weights for me at boot camp to get that ripped. So I went and joined um a bodybuilding gym. Um there was a Serbian bodybuilder called Sergei, and he had a little garage, and he did sort of like personal training classes of eight. So it was eight of us at a time, so we'd have a time slot, but each of us had our own programme, and he'd just keep an eye on the eight of us. So it was kind of really intense, but it was wicked, and my body changed like overnight. And for the first time, and this was before we left for America, so I was in the early 40s, but it was the first time in my life. I was like, this is what my body was made to look like, like this sporty, kind of stocky sort of like shape I I always have.

SPEAKER_01

Well, honestly, your legs like I'm jealous, but I'm I'm a long tall Sally, okay? So I'm gonna have to work twice as hard to get those legs, okay? But I have so much admiration for women with really strong muscular legs because that is hard.

SPEAKER_00

Like it's hard, it's hard, but I think a lot of its jeans too. My mum had good legs, I don't know. I think a lot of its jeans, yeah, but that instantly the bodybuilding, my body just changed in shape, and I literally loved it, and I was just in, I was so in. My family performed, my family performed a bodybuilding intervention on me. And um, not long before we went to America, they sat me down and they're like, We're all really worried about you. Your husband's finding it really difficult. And my my ex-husband had now ex-husband had gone to my family and just been like, She's obsessed, she's changing, I don't like her body, I don't find it sexy, and I'm just sitting there looking at all the people I love the most telling me they're worried about me because I because what? Because I'm I feel the best I've ever felt physically. It was like so confusing to me. I was like, what's happening? Now, 10 years down the road, when I look back

Embracing Menopause and Personal Boundaries

SPEAKER_00

at that, I'm like, oh my god, it wasn't my body that he was finding unsexy, it was the confidence that was coming with that. And that was what was rattling him. They they were like, We think you must be taking, you know, you must be on steroids, right? And I'm like, this is hard work and this is confidence. This is me feeling confident. Like it's it blows my mind now. I see it with different eyes on reflection.

SPEAKER_01

The perspective is interesting to me as well, how people, when you change, um and personally I've had experiences as well with change. Over the last few years, and particularly after 40, because something happens when you go past 40. You become more of who you're supposed to be, but you also learn to care less about what other people think. And the people closest to you aren't always on board, which you're shocked by because you think that you're the people closest to me. Who love me the most? They find it the hardest.

SPEAKER_00

It's very confronting with people if it's a a rise in a confidence that's a change like that. It makes, you know, for some reason, I don't know, it's very confronting for people. And I think that going back to America then, that's in America, they love that for you. Yes. I'm like, yes, we should all be more like that. It's a kind of like we're just really haiti. We're really trained, especially as women, I think. Also, it's uh feel the precipitation. Yeah, we've been trained to feel threatened by each other, we're trained to feel fear. We've been, you know, the change, you know, when you get to menopause, it's all about the change, like it's a bad thing. And I'm like, I'm the queen of fucking change, honestly. I love it. I'm like, I don't, I don't know why people don't feel excited by this. Any chance of change, I'll just like I'll I'll switch it up.

SPEAKER_01

It all comes down to your perspective and how you look at it, or what kind of lens you're wearing when you look at menopause. Because I have I I have had some very negative um echo chambers in my life that I've decided to kind of just cut out because honestly, it it's even more important now in your life to choose who you let into your brain and to get rid of the negative um connotations around menopause because it really is what you make of it.

SPEAKER_00

God, I love a boundary. But you know, but for years even I thought boundaries just meant how to tell people to fuck off better. But you know, it took me years to understand the boundaries. I boundaries include getting to ask for what you want and what you need, and you know, protecting your space, not just like, you know, no, I don't like you, I don't I need less of that. But it took me a really long time, and I think when I hit perimenopause, the biggest changing point for me was hitting

Embracing Vulnerability and Boldness

SPEAKER_00

perimenopause, but I didn't know. I mean, perimenopause wasn't even a thing when I was in perimenopause. So, what age were you when you hit perimenopause? I said I I think now it was like 48 looking back. But even that, so that's like seven years ago, even seven, only seven years ago, no one was talking about it. It was not a sort of it wasn't a mainstream conversation like it is now. Um there wasn't, you know, menopause coaches, there was nothing like that. Is I, you know, I just thought I was gonna shrivel up and die at some point. Like, you know, we've been led to believe. Yeah. But I'm finding this confidence, and like you say, I was just woke up one morning and I just gave less fucks. And I was like, what's happening right now? This is eighth. And I thought it was it was I was the only one it was happening to, right around the same time as social media was really sort of picking up. So you know, I was trailblazing this whole like zero fucks club, blah, blah, blah, blah. No idea really what was happening to me. Now, again, when I look back, I'm like, oh my god, that was perimenopause.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like Perimenopause. It was your brain chemistry was changing, it was fantastic. My estrogen's like, estrogen is like me. I'm done now. Was this around the same time that you posted that beautiful naked photo of you on the mountain? Yeah, so then on the top of a volcano one day, I fantastic. And what can you can you like like what was what what what led up to that point? Did you just go, why not? Or were you thinking I need to do something amazing to plant a flag, so to speak?

SPEAKER_00

Do you know what? It was not planned at all. I actually had this pink gown that I had taken, carried all the way up to this top of this damn volcano. We did a shoot with a gown and it's absolutely stunning. And I just it was such a beautiful day. The view was like something nothing else I'd seen. And I went to my mate, you know what? I'm just gonna take it off and like take a just take a naked picture of myself. And I'll never forget it for as long as I live, because I look at that picture now, it means so much to me. So many things go through my head because it was the beginning of a huge next chapter. Because uh, there was I look at the picture and I look, I felt exactly how I look in the picture, so strong and bold and you know, brave, and I'm top of this volcano, and it's just amazing. Out of the picture, just to my left, was two old guys who were having a pat lunch, and I one of them I have one of them going, Well, she's bold. I'm never gonna get her room song at my

The Journey of Self-Discovery

SPEAKER_00

lip. You probably made the entire year. Come on. I think they they probably still talk about me. I wonder if they're because I've now done a TED talk about this, so I don't know if they've ever seen the TED talk and they go, That was us having our power. That's us, but that's amazing. I posted that picture and got my very first dick pick. Isn't that the barometer of success? Really? Isn't that just that? And I as a feminist, I'm like, it's the I, you know, even in my TED talk, I'm like, I would just like to say I hate giving the dick the power, and the dick wasn't even that great. And I often wonder if he's seen if the dick seen my pot my TED talk about the dick pick. But the dick pic unleashed something in me. Nothing ever happened to the dick pic, but it just it began an unraveling because it made me feel horny. And I was so sad that it made me feel horny. I was like, what the hell? What does that mean? Like, what and then I realized how long it is since I'd felt like that. And so it began this unraveling. So I ended up separating from my husband moving into the spare room. This is all in the middle of lockdown now. Moved into the spare room, and I started sharing my journey online. I was done with you know, the zero fucks was in full effect. Yeah. Um, you know, we're in lockdown. I'm like, I'm done with, you know, trying to look fancy. And, you know, I felt, I suddenly felt I was living, I was lived a very fortunate life. My husband earned a lot of money. We lived in a beautiful house. I moved with a lot of people who had a lot of wealth. I was living absolutely beautiful life, but it suddenly felt not right. Something was really out of kilter for me. And so I just started really showing up online. I started chatting online about how I felt, you know, for real. You know, the good bits, the bad bits, the challenging bits, and my direct messages just blew up with women going, Oh my god, me too! I'm like, I'm disconnected, I feel invisible, I, you know, I'm vanishing in menopause. And I was like, Yes, you don't have to, you don't have to, there's other ways. And my community grew really quickly, and I but I was just overwhelmed with messages from women who were desperately sad and desperately struggling. And I was like, I just can't stand this for another woman. I can't, how has it taken me this long to find my confidence?

Reinventing Life After Divorce

SPEAKER_00

Number one. Like, imagine if I felt this confident when I was 25, the things I could have achieved. I mean, I think when I look back now, also I do a lot of reflection. But looking back, I do think there was lots of things where I should have felt proud of myself, but I dimmed all that because my husband's career was important and he earned all the money. Yeah, you know, I was working part-time for social services, chair of the PCA. None of that really contributed to the household that much. So my value was very low. My priorities were very, very, you know, the my my priorities moved right down to the bottom of the list. It became very much about that, my husband. And that again was not because my husband was like, I'm more important. That was just patriarchy in full fucking effect. Yeah. Um, and the fact that you know, money in our house was was the measuring stick of value. Um so he felt most entitled because he earned the most money, and I felt least entitled, and that was neither. There was just a lack of conversation in the middle there, um, and a lack of of my ability, believe it or not, because listen to me now, I can't shut up, but my ability to ask for what I needed and say what was important to me. Yeah. Um so back to America, my DMs are full of women. I'm like, what the hell am I gonna do next? And I um so I decided one day I went out for a hike and I just saw an old bus by the side of the road. And I was like, I said to my mate, pull over. So we swerved off the road, and I was like, I could buy this bus and I could travel around America and just go and meet all these women, and she's like, All right, whatever. And I went, No, I just I don't know, I can't shake the idea anyway. So we drove home, and

The Bus Tour: Connecting Women Across America

SPEAKER_00

that night there was a huge storm and um in the house. I was on my own in the house, there was a massive storm, and a old 200-year-old tree got hit by lightning and fell down and it clipped to the edge of the house. It would fallen on the house, I'd be dead. Oh my god. But instead, it fell very neatly between us and the neighbour, but it clipped the house enough to like jugger the jugger the whole house. And I'm like, it's the sign, I should buy the bus. That was it. By the bus. By the bus. Within two weeks, I'd crowd found another bus, because that one wasn't right, but I found another one, crowdfund found crowdfunded the bus, and got a one-way ticket down to Arizona to go and collect the damn thing. Drove it back up to Portland, got ready. When my son graduated from high school six months later, I then set off on a tour around America, and the idea was do the bus up so everyone would see it coming, throw events everywhere I went to connect women locally and build community. Um, and I did 28 states and 10,000 miles, and then I got wild.

SPEAKER_01

How did so how did you finance this?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, well, again, hilarious. Uh Amer this is America for you. So crowdfunded the bus. I had strangers in the supermarket offering me checks because they'd seen me online talking about it. Fantastic. And then America, I'm like, right, who do I want to work with? Who would help me pay for this? I was like, right, I picked five brands that I just really loved and just gave them a call and went, Look, I'm looking for 10 grand. You want to give me 10 grand to fund this tour? So I got a female-owned gin distillery company. I had a vibrator company because on my mission board was throwing vibrators out the window as I went through the fibre belt. On brand. Volva Wellness brand. Gin-owned distillery company. I made an edible with some uh female black uh growers. Wow. Black female growers. And I approached a period poverty charity and they paid me to represent them on the way.

SPEAKER_01

That is incredible. That paid you. It just speaks about like community, isn't it? Women want to be part of something incredible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And so I was just, and none of them, ironic, none of them really wanted anything in return. None of them really. Amazing. And so I went trundling off with a thousand vibrators, a thousand cancogen and tonic, and a thousand edibles at the back and a shit ton of like salve for your vulva. That sounds like the most epic road trip ever. It really was. So I got to New York and I was like, oh, I'd had such an adventure. I mean, the events were amazing, but the women in need and the who'd come to the door of the bus and they'd just seen me pull into the campsite or on the road and Googled me, and from that, yeah, felt able to come knock at the door. And I'm like, this is too powerful, like I'm gonna take it back to the UK.

SPEAKER_01

So then what I what I think as well, you being the woman that you are and kind of swanning around the US, making showing other

Empowering Women Through Fashion and Fun

SPEAKER_01

women what is possible for them as well, if they if they take up, you know, space. Space. I think it's it's such a powerful thing. And it's also, I mean, you'll probably be hearing this for you know the rest of time, but the impact that you've had on women. I sometimes read some of the DMs and some of the messages you share on Instagram, and even though you or you are affecting or you are impacting hundreds and hundreds and thousands of women, it's always the one woman that you that you're helping her change her own life. That is so incredible.

SPEAKER_00

And that's all I've ever wanted to do, really, is to change, help help people change their mindset, change how they think about things, and just see what happens. You know, the clothes, the clothes, I think I lure people in with the outfits because you know it the it you know the way I dress brings people to me and opens conversations, and it's a great way to bond with women and people, not just women. Yeah, um, because through this work, I've also met hundreds of men who were like, How do we do this? How do we get vulnerable? How do we do this? Like, what are we in? You know, they need the self-love revolution as as much as women do, they're victims of patriarchy as much as we are. And unless we meet in the middle somewhere, we're all fucked. So you know, I'm I'm trying to kind of lean my work towards men as much as I can as well, yeah, to get the message out. So I when I got back to the UK, I moved back and bought the bus with me. That was three and a half years ago. And then the first year back was just honestly, it was quite brutal. I sort of came riding, I came home riding high from the tour, you know, I got divorced money in the bank. End of 2023. I came home like riding high with like had half the divorce money in the bank. I just finished the tour. I was like, anything's fucking possible. I've been living in America for 10 years. I like literally Americanism with you, it's crying. You need that. It was like crickets, like actual crickets. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then really quickly, quite a few amazing things happened. I got offered a podcast on Global, which was huge. I got offered two or three really big events for massive money, and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna smash this, it's gonna be brilliant. So then I promptly blew through my divorce money, put a year down on a house rent for a house that I could not afford, really. I thought I was gonna be fine, genuinely thought I'd be fine. So spent all my divorce money, which was my son's college fees and my, you know, you name it, spent the whole lot thinking I'd be fine, um, only to discover that I wasn't. And then it was a bit harder than at home, and then adjusting to just a huge grief. I think I probably spent that first year in full-blown grief. My mum had died, so moving back and realizing that mum actually was dead. Obviously, she died about a year or so before, but like came home and she was like double dead because I'd sort of managed to somehow in my mind she was alive, and when I came home, so suddenly there was a much bigger gap. Yeah. Grief for my marriage, because nothing, you know, it's not like either of us cheated or anything like that. So there's no no one for me to sit and be angry at, other than just a deep sadness for the fact that it hadn't worked out and that we just let it go to the point where we couldn't find our way back to each other. I left my son behind in America, he was travelling and then going to college. Because now, of course, I've got an American son because he's been there so long. And then grief for America, my girlfriends, my height squads, my mountains. Yeah. Oh my god. So that's been the it's been the ultimate reinvention on the other side of divorce. Um, and I, you know, it was an amicable, dead easy, no quibble divorce, you know. Uh, and I watched so many women and families tear each other apart. I was like, I just can't bear that for us. So stupidly just divorced him really quickly and cheaply, which was silly because that's you know, that screwed me up. But to be fair, if I take, you know, if I'd screwed not screwed him, but if I'd, you know, made him go to court and got more, I would have just spent it anyway. So I'd still be in the same position. I just would have spent even more. Yeah. And then so then I found myself absolutely broke and having to move out of this beautiful house that I'd rented. Um and um the bus was still sort of stuck in a I put the bus on a very expensive ship back to the UK. Oh, okay. Only to discover that the DVLA wouldn't even let her on the road. So she sat in his shed for 18 months while I traveled like Susie. Susie bags and I had to do my HTV driving licence to drive her, even though I've driven a flipping tens of thousands of miles myself. So I don't know. I moved out, came to stay with my boyfriend, reconnected with an old love. And um I came to stay with him 18 months ago for a couple of months, and I'm still here. But the last year, so then that first year I spent all the money and then and then managed to get myself right in trouble, and then last year I spent most of the year just trying to figure out how to get myself out of the money situation and just sort of like pay back what I got myself in trouble with and just try and figure out how do I make money. Yeah. Um, but I finally managed to get the bus out on the road, found an amazing guy who drove me everywhere, and I packed up all these amazing clothes that I have, and I traveled to events letting women just get dressed up in my wardrobe, try new things and see how it feels to be a little bit braver and like nothing happens. Yeah, you feel amazing. Yeah, intentional fun. Like when do we do that? When do we allow ourselves?

SPEAKER_01

Oxytocin, we don't like I keep saying to the women in my coaching group, more oxytocin, please. Whatever it is

The Accidental Influencer: Authenticity in Marketing

SPEAKER_01

that makes you happy, more of that first.

SPEAKER_00

Like, wear the sequence to the supermarket, like it's so much more fun. You have nice conversations, you make people smile, you feel great. Because trust me, you could get hit by a you know, you could get hit by a bus at tomorrow and yak drastically. Like I'm gonna try to.

SPEAKER_01

I keep thinking that event that I met you at in Brighton, like I looked around me at one point and I just looked at all the women and I thought, you know, we're all just here, we feel amazing, we look amazing, we've made an effort, and we're just celebrating one another, and it's just so powerful. When you get dressed up and you feel good, amazing things happen 100%. It's like you attract these wonderful things into your life.

SPEAKER_00

I've developed, you know, I the trouble is also for me, I think, in terms of trying to figure out how I in, you know, how I monetize this mission to empower women, um, has been really tricky one because as an influencer, and I call myself an accidental influencer because I never set out and I'm always a I'm a bit of an odd influencer because I don't actually sell anything. There's a few brands that I'll work with.

SPEAKER_01

Before we before we get into the accidental influencer, can we just have a quick chat about the shower chair? Okay, and your your very first product as an influencer. Do you want to just tell the listeners a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_00

Well, you were back in the States, and I was like, oh man, okay, well, I guess I'm a sort of influencer now. When I was in a fortunate position because my husband earned a lot of money, so I wasn't having to pay the rent with the bills at that point. A brand hit me up and they were a brand new brand themselves. They were bringing out a range of products to try and uh bust the myths around aging. So I was like, okay, and they went, We'd love you to be our very first influencer for our very first product. And I went, Oh my god, this is so exciting. So I'm like texting all my mates, going, Oh my god, I've got a first paid job. This is so exciting. Okay, and how old are you at this point? 44, 45. They were like, I was like, what's the product? And they went, a shower chair. And I went, What? And they were like, a shower chair, and I went, What like for old people? Like, what? And they went, yes. And I went, Well, I don't know if that's really for me. And all I don't know about that then. So all my mates are like cracking up. And then but then over that weekend, and then I really remember it clearly, because all that weekend, I said no to them on the Friday. And then all weekend, you know, everywhere I went, I was telling this, regaling this story of how I've been offered a shower chair. But every time I told the story, there's something that just didn't feel quite right, something wasn't sitting quite right in me. And I was like, what's going on? And I was like, you know, you're out here going, oh, you're growing old disgracefully, getting older's great. You can't, you can't just be that saying that because you're 47 and you're still, you know, pretty young, really. 47's nothing. Yeah. And you can't be like, well, I'm only saying that when I'm 47. I don't actually believe it for when I when I get to a point where I need a shower chair. Like, that's not genuine. Like, you're either in this, anti-aging, you know, fuck aging, it's whatever. Or you're not. Like, which is it? Are you either authentic? I hate that word, but you're either authentic or you're not. I was like, if I'm one, if I if I die on any sword, it will be being authentic and real because that's that's all of our superpowers is is the and that's the one thing I've I have. Copycat nicking my ideas and all of these things. No one can take away who you are. Like, and if you stay true to that, then there's nothing anybody can copy. I love that. And so I was like, God, I'm gonna have to say yes to the shower chair. So I emailed back and went, okay, fine, I'll do the shower chair. I'll do the shower chair. So he promptly arrives and it's a huge flipping thing, and I never get because it sat in the corner of the sitting room for about two weeks, and I just kept kicking it. Every time I walked by, I kicked a fucking thing, and I was like, fine, okay, what am I gonna do with the shower chair then? How am I gonna sell a shower chair? It's like, what's the most iconic shower scene you can ever think of? And of course, it's the it's the scene in Dirty Dancing when she likes the thing. Uh not dirty dancing, flash dance, flash ons, flash ons. So I was like, right, so I called a couple of mates and I went, I need you to come and film. We were going down to the big fountain in in high street. Downtown Portland, and I'm gonna go try it with the thing, my leg warmers on and the and the shower chair, and recreated flash dance in the in the in the fountain.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna find a little photo on your feed and stick it in here.

Challenging Societal Norms and Body Image

SPEAKER_01

Because if you're watching this on YouTube, you need to see like the black leotard, the leggings. She absolutely smashed that. I mean, there is no better representation for shower chair. You smashed it. And that went mega viral for bus back then, which was I bet that company were overjoyed.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they've gone bus now, but I sold so many shower chairs. Not because of you. I sold so many shows, and I learned so many people use shower chairs. Some people are just lazy and like sitting down. There we go. I can't think of anything worse. We are you've made the shower chair cool. And you don't have to be old to have a shower. I just thought, oh, it just meant I'm old. People who are, you know, not able-bodied, people who have can't stand. Some people just like it to shave their legs with. Yeah. People bought it for their parents. I saw so many shower chairs. I mean, it's probably one of the best-selling items I've ever represented. And I went absolutely viral. And then it went viral again last year when I posted it just for old time's sake. Because you know, when I lived in Portland, I had a best friend who also didn't work. Um, she didn't have a full-time job. She just followed me around taking pictures of me. We were like snowboarding down the room. You want a friend. I love that. I know. Who need everybody needs a friend without without a job who just wants to help you build a brand. So she would just go, Oh, the light looks amazing on the mountain. Let's go snowboarding. I'm coming. And like, she just photographed. We've got so much good footage that I still die now on today. That is incredible. Because now I'm back in Peckham without that friend. And without snowboard, without mountains to snowboard down, I've got a selfie stick in the back streets of Peckham. It's not quite the feedback. It's not quite the same.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. But it's real. It's real.

SPEAKER_00

It's definitely on a journey. The feed is on a journey with me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. That's incredible. Um it went viral again. Oh, yeah, no, I was gonna say, it went viral again last year when I reposted it for old time's sake. It's incredible. Hate I got on it was unreal. The comments, it hit the wrong side of the internet. Right. It went viral. Facebook's just hideous. On Facebook, it I don't know, it just went wild on Facebook, and people were the comments were vile. People were calling for my arrest. Wow. Wow. This is where we are now. This is where we are. And so then I made the New York P I made the New York Post. I don't know. I hit all sorts of the press, picked it up, and it went pretty crazy. Wow. But my biggest upset was the fact that lots of those comments were from women. And it blew, it was so upsetting to me. So sad. So many of these comments were from women. And so when I when it went viral, I was I I then went viral again because I kept saying, why? It's all fucking women. They're like, girls, come on. Like, what the hell? This is awful. And then on that second sort of wave of going viral, um, people were like, Oh, I can't believe these awful comments. Your body's amazing. You look fantastic. If I look like you, I'd wear a swimsuit. And I'm like, no, still no, still no, still no. I know you're trying to be nice, and I know you think that's a compliment, but we are still reinforcing the fact that you're judging me on my body one way or another. That's it. Yeah. Whether you think I've got great, you

Planting Seeds of Confidence

SPEAKER_00

know, whether I should dance or not dance, we're still reinforcing to each other as women, and it's down to what I look like. Exactly. I should just dance in a fountain because it's just a chance. You should just be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, that was a kind of wild journey. That was last.

SPEAKER_01

It's such a it's such a um polarizing um experiment, isn't it? And it is sad because I do think when women see things like that, it kind of like stirs something up inside them. And they usually would comment, make comments like that because they would never be able to do that. And so I did this.

SPEAKER_00

Um I think um what I hope is, you know, I it's very difficult, I think, because if you people always are surprised, sometimes they're surprised when they meet me. They're like, God, you're really nice. I thought you were gonna be really like in my face. And I am really in my face, but there's a lot of, you know, this is just how I present myself, right? But if you take the time to scratch the surface, yeah, somebody's like, You're so kind and nice. And I'm like, I hope so. Like, that's what I want people to remember me for. But this is about this, this is often just is like I said, with the clothes, is like luring people in or making people look. And I think when I did up the bus, I wanted people to see it coming and ask, What is that? What is she doing? But if you scratch the if you scratch the surface enough, it'll lead you forward, right? So if you come and get dressed up for the wardrobe and you try something you wouldn't normally spend a hundred pounds on, but I let you try mine on, yeah, it might just plant a seed in your mind that, oh, maybe I could. I'm not saying for one minute you need to dress like I do. Yes. But if one woman sees me and is like, well, if she can get away with that, maybe I should up my game a little, or maybe that looks good, maybe I should get my seat pins out the same spritz.

SPEAKER_01

It's these little seeds of confidence that you plant. And isn't that just what the self-love revolution is all about? Because each person's journey is different.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's the that's going all the way back to the beginning of us talking about um, but you know, I think before we even started recording, we were talking about mindset and how important that is. You know, showing up every day intentionally, um, you know, is is is what it's all about into having intentional fun, having you know, dressing intentionally, you know, and if you want to call that attention seeking, fine, call it what you like. I mean, I am, you know, I like to say I'm a professional attention seeker, but for a reason I love that. I think social media's, you know, there are now people out there just trying to get famous and trying to get likes. And I think, you know, those people have always been out there. Those people have always been out there, they've always walked amongst us, um, but now there's a platform for that. Um, and someone the other day called me a trailblazer, and I was like, Oh, I thought, God, I thank, I said thank you so much. That's so amazing. Because, like, to be honest, I look at loads of stuff on Instagram. I was like, I was doing that years ago. I was snowboarding down a bloody mountain in a swimsuit six years ago, you know. Good luck, have a great time. You know, I've moved on now. I'm trying, you know, and my work's moved on. You know, I'm probably just a bit jealous. I can't snowball down a mountain anymore. You know, I don't know there's space for everybody. Like, you know, you gotta show up and do what you gotta do. I'm never gonna judge another woman for her choices. That's you like all are, you know, we're all gloriously different. Imagine if we were all the same. How would we do that? It would be so boring.

SPEAKER_01

It would be so boring. And I and I and I 100% agree with you because what attracts other women to you is

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

SPEAKER_01

your realness. Trying to find a word for authenticity, another word for that, but your rawness and your realness. And also, personally, I love how much of your your you know, the ups and the downs that you share. Because personally, I always I've always struggled with sharing more of the sort of um the struggle side of things because um it's just never felt like r right for me, but it's kind of figuring out the way that you it's figuring out a way to share that side of things that feels comfortable for you, but also just stepping out of your comfort zone. But I love that about you.

SPEAKER_00

I think, you know, I'm not saying for one minute that everyone should just start downloading their trauma all over the internet because that doesn't do anybody any good, you know. Yeah. Um, I do I find a power for myself in making myself vulnerable. That is where I find the most strength comes because I think that's the most valuable lessons for people. That's that's about being authentic.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, I I try not to cry or blurt my problems if I don't have at least a I'm not saying I can solve, I can I can I don't go and cry and then solve it all, but like helping people watch me resolve it or go through a thought process to go, okay, well, maybe that's what's teeth this is teaching me, or you know, you know, it's taken me a long time to kind of train myself to know that funnily enough, the bus has taught me. I know it sounds really stupid, it might sound ludicrous, but the bus has taught me so many things. So I used to be such a control freak, like such a control freak. I clung on to everything so tightly. And then buying that rickety rackety old vintage motorhome and driving around America like alone, I had to just relinquish control of everything. I maybe I need to buy a bus. Maybe everybody just needs to buy a bus. Buying breakfast, and I'll deal with it. Yeah, if but you know, if the tire goes, if you know, because you know, there's always ten reasons not to do something. Right. There's always our natural self-protection. We hold on to it's it goes back to the you know, fear of change or whatever. We try to just protect ourselves and cling on to what's safe and what we know, but nothing good happens there, like exactly yeah, you don't learn anything, you you know, you only learn when you fuck things up, to be honest. Um, so this year, um, because I'm still, you know, last year I did make some money, but not not still not really enough, and not really enough for what I do. I don't, you know, for what I what I do is really transformative. But because I'm a loudmouth 55-year-old woman who's quite political and outspoken with her politics, you know, I had dinner with a strategist friend at the end of last year, and she went, Look, mate, if you're gonna, I was like, I still can't find a brand to sponsor the tour, you know. Like I've got five in America trying to find a brand that will sponsor me. And she's like, Look, if you're gonna carry on being political, you're gonna have to forget the brand work, if I'm honest. If there is a brave enough brand, then great, but you can't rely on that. Also, I just think influence influencing is is kind of dead. Yeah. We're just bombarded with crap. No one's gonna it's not uh I don't want to sell women more shit that they don't need. Yeah. So I was like, right, okay, take uh lessons from your own book. You're gonna have to lean into things that you don't want to do, lean into things that are uncomfortable, that you know, and because you know you're ethical, you don't want to go for this brand or fast fashion or da da da da, what are you gonna do? So I decided this year to do all the things that make me feel uncomfortable. Like partnered with a woman who's very business-minded, met this amazing woman. She had a brand called Shush Wellness, she's black woman, black-owned business. Yes, and um, she said, You want to do a collab? I said, You fancy a collab. I literally just wanted to promote the woman's business, really, to be fair. And she went, Well, why don't we do something proper and bring out a whole collection that's yours? And I was like, What? And she was like, and I was like, Really? So hang on, I'll show you. This is exciting.

The Unshrunk Collection: A New Venture

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna talk about the unshrunk collection. Here it is, people on a screen.

SPEAKER_00

So instead of going cap in hand to bloody brands and ethical brands and selling shit, I was like, right, I'm gonna put my name on a product that is well, it's trude and tried and tested and beautifully created by a black order. Um, let's make it fun because there's literally nothing in the menopause space with fun packaging. So yeah, if you've got to have a pain relief spray, let's put it, make it at least look cute on the bedside and have a bit of Limit Ling land in there.

SPEAKER_01

And it smells incredible. I was having a little look at it at the event that I went to. I was like, yes, yes, you'll be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00

So ironically, it's really natural. It's really natural, and everything that I appear not to be in the packaging appears not to make it. So it's kind of like a real this is me in a bottle, it's a juxtaposition. Like it looks one thing, but you smell it, and actually it's completely natural and it's really effective.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and so I'm so proud. So we've just released this. Um this is the unshrunk collection, right? It's called the unshrunk collection. So there's um, and it's not just for menopause, there's a flame fighter, which is for menopause. Yes. There is this is for um, this is a pain relief one, so it's great for cramps and joint pain. My dad uses it on his arthritis and absolutely loves it. There is a menopause gummy, which helps for mood swings, nausea, night sweats, really helps. Love that. Um, and then the sleep spray I haven't got on my desk because the sleep spray is by the bed. Yes. But I've got to tell you the other day I was driving along. I wish I could have filmed it because it was absolute comedy. I will have to do a reel about it somewhere. Driving along, the sleep spray was next to me on this in my bag, and so I pulled it out and I was like, I just love the smell of it. So I sprayed a bit on my on my hand, so I was smelling it as I was driving along, and all of a sudden I'm like, oh my god, I was falling asleep with the wheel. I nearly ended up in a while.

SPEAKER_01

It is very effective.

SPEAKER_00

That I tell you what, that is a double espresso, and I messaged Marva, my business partner, and I went, uh, I just nearly fell asleep at the wheel. She went, that's some powerful shit, you idiot.

SPEAKER_01

I was like, do not use while driving people.

SPEAKER_00

I need a warning label.

SPEAKER_01

Um so Lou, like where so people can buy this on the actual website, right? Yeah and on your website as well.

SPEAKER_00

Unshrunk website. Um, and then I'm just literally tonight, I am about to launch, say, uh the bookings are opening for my camp. I do a self-love camp. A self-love camp. This is year three, and it's everything from oh my god, there's workouts, wanking, witches, beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

The two best w's. Hello. Hello, hello.

SPEAKER_00

Um, yeah, workshops,

The Self-Love Camp Experience

SPEAKER_00

workouts, nice. Witches, wanking, anything that begins with W. There's a spa, there's inspiring speakers, and again, it's a bit of everything. You can come, it's like, and just it's a busy, busy schedule um for three days. Um incredible camping. Um, and we just share space and share time and share food, and just it's yeah, pretty transformative sort of four days. Um, I keep it a little bit mysterious, but there's a bit of woo-woo in there, and there's a bit of um just this it's just realness. The the speakers and the facilitators I have are just real, real talkers. Um, so there's no bullshit. Lots of people come by themselves and leave with a whole new family. Um I love that. And yeah, so it's a bit of everything. Uh, and you can come and take from it what you can get, dive right in. We're doing a bit more, going a bit deeper with some women, some of the women's work this year. We're gonna call in our ancestors, we're gonna dismantle some patriarchal shit.

SPEAKER_01

Love that.

SPEAKER_00

So, yeah. So I'm bringing up a lot of it. So, when when is that? So it is 13, 14, 15, 16th of June, and it's in in Sussex, just outside Brighton. Um and it's like 480 quid, and that is everything included. Wow, that is amazing. Including your food and your margaritas.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that's important. I was gonna get onto that.

SPEAKER_02

Very important.

SPEAKER_01

Fantastic. Wow. So that so those are the two things, the two focus points you've got right now, and obviously you you are all over the show, like speaking at multiple events and and and yeah. So where so where are you because you're you're still touring at the moment, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. At the moment, I've got April is pretty uh I'd left April quite clear. I've had a busy month in March. I don't even know where March went.

SPEAKER_02

No, I don't know either.

SPEAKER_00

I've got my HGV driving test next week. Wow, good luck with that. Yeah. And then I'm gonna be really mobile because I'll be able to drive my own bus. So then I'm gonna make a go of trying to live on the bus for a little for the summer and see. Fantastic. Gonna go from event to event. And then I'm just gonna do, you know, say I finish an event in Wales and I've got two weeks to the next one. I'm just gonna put a shout out on Instagram, see if anyone's got a a farm. Yeah, so sure. And see what happens and see where the adventures take me. So I will see. Um, I love mine. I'm a reckless optimist, my friend. That is, see, that that is yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like, yeah, let's let's all take a bit. Can you bottle that reckless optimism? That makes sense. Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_00

That's the next bray that's coming out. That's it. Reckless optimism.

SPEAKER_01

Um I want to ask you just one. I know that we're kind of coming to near nearly to the end of our chat, but I know a lot of the women who listen to this podcast, you know, are really feeling the sort of midlife rolling in the deep and it seems never-ending. In fact, I'd say a lot of the women in my group and even friends, you know, it feels like, you know, we've come out of the year of the snake, and a lot of them kind of feel like the year of the horse hasn't quite, you know, started galloping, started galloping yet, which um, you know, Yes, Nettie, where are you?

SPEAKER_00

Fuck that.

SPEAKER_01

It's it's what what is happening. Um, but yeah, I mean, I think you've been you've been through so much in your life, and like even just trying to figure out what we what what I wanted to chat to you about in this podcast, it's just there's just so much, but it's this incredible journey to where you are now, and it's still evolving. This is only really just the beginning. But I feel like if you could give you know, the woman listening to this podcast right now, maybe feeling that she's in the thick of it and she really doesn't know how to dust herself

Journaling: A Tool for Reflection and Growth

SPEAKER_01

off, get back up and and just, you know, um make a real change in her life. What kind of advice would you how would you tell her where should she start? What should she start with?

SPEAKER_00

I think there's two things. One of which is awful, it's journaling. Uh again, there's two things that make me uh one is the word authentic, uh, and one is journaling. Uh uh. Journaling is the single most powerful tool that you have at your fingertips because we particularly if you're in a bad chapter, right? So thinking about the chapters, they'll tie the two the two things together. The chat if you're thinking about your book as your life as your book, your best-selling book, and all these chapters, right? Knowing that this too shall pass, right? All these cliches you see on Instagram are fucking great because they're true. This too shall pass. You will pass through the shit bit, you will pass through the hard bits, you will come out the other side. It's holding on to that knowing I have a deep knowing that I will be all right. I may only have £22 in my bank account. I may not know how I'm gonna pay my son's college fees by the end of tomorrow. But somehow I will figure something out, something will happen. And if it's if it's crap, even that will I'll pass through it. You just have to keep going. You are in charge of that book, right? You are in charge of that chapter. You have to keep turning the pages. You can write them yourself. Don't wait for this for a write itself. Take control of that. Um, journaling, when you're stuck in your shit chapter, you don't think you'll ever be okay again. But if you journal, if you look back to last Wednesday, you'll be like, My God, look what happened. That was what a week ago? What? Like it just helps you turn the bigger pages, if you see what I mean. There's a lot of analogies in there. I don't know if it made sense. No, it does. Yeah. But to be able to reflect back, because we and especially I think when something good's happening or something bad's happening, you think you're always going to remember how that feels. I'm never gonna forget how this feels. But we do, like 20 seconds later, we have been bombarded with other things.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

This journal, this point of coming back to yourself. It's like coming back to yourself over and over again and just really knowing yourself and knowing. And I'm still, and I love that journey for for me. I love that journey. I'm still learning. I'm like, oh my god, look what I did there last week. Oh my god, look what I did there. Um, and I think learning to be reflective, that journalism helps you really reflective and helps you understand your patterns, it helps you move the story forward so you can write your better or the bigger book.

SPEAKER_01

Does that make sense? Yeah, and and I guess also to celebrate your wins because we don't spend enough time doing that. We don't.

SPEAKER_00

Right here on my desk, I do a series called Winna Win a Chicken Dinner. Yes, I have to say, I stole it from someone else blatantly. It's not like it's not my concept. I also love the fact that I chose this jar and it glows, makes my face glow gold. But I love that. I started this in January at the first New Year, and each day each week I write down what my wins of the week are, and it's about retraining your brain to look for the good shit in the world gone mad. I love that. Um, and there's everything on there. I think my very first win of the week was the fact that I had enough money to pay a parking ticket. Yes. Um, all the way through to, you know, my dad's cancer, you know, spending taking being able to take him to the hospital. To the fact that look, this week it was sunshine, I'd bought daffodils, um, and I got invited to do a red carpet event. That was not a bad win. I mean, those are some serious wins. I love that. There's some serious. And then in here is a pound I found in a coat pocket in February. Winning. But the eyes, so this is like a mini journal, if you like. But this is just focusing on the good stuff. That's great. Um, and I love the fact that it's visual, it's an actual physical thing that you do. And I cart it around everywhere with me. I should have bought a slightly slightly better job. But this, just doing this helps me keep focused every week. Because every week I have to, you know, all week I'm thinking, what it was that what my wins of the week, gonna be on Wednesday. And it really helps me focus in on it. So actually, doing it is really powerful. And on Saturday, I was out marching against the far right, and no less than 12 strangers came up and went, I fucking love win a winner chicken dinner. They went, There you go, you know, and I'm like, it's amazing because so many people don't comment on on Instagram, they'll just keep it quiet.

SPEAKER_01

I think it that's just the nature now. People like to look, but when they see you in person, they'll go, Yeah, no, I saw that post. And then I always think, but why didn't you

Celebrating Wins: Shifting Perspectives

SPEAKER_01

actually comment on it?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, say something, or they'll come up to me and they'll drop drop something in, and I like see you all watching my post. But winner winner chicken dinner has been an actual game changer for me. Never mind everybody else. So stick winner winner chicken dinner.

SPEAKER_01

So I feel like your takeaway from this podcast should be you have to start winner winner chicken dinner, okay?

SPEAKER_00

Start very the bare minimum, start win a winner chicken dinner. Bare minimum. Yeah. Bare minimum. There you go. I love that.

SPEAKER_01

And that that is just really retraining your brain, isn't it? To look for the positives.

SPEAKER_00

And it doesn't have to be. I mean, a red carpet was like, whatever, what a wanker, like lucky wanker this week. But you know the week before is literally I just had enough money to pay a parking ticket, or I found a pound. Like but uh, you know, and it doesn't there's loads of shit stuff going on as well. But if it just if I am just honing in on that, it helps because it helps me cope with the other stuff. Right? So if your glass is half empty, when the shit goes down, at least you've got a bit of a buffering literally in my jar to help me with the bad stuff. Because you can never stop the bad stuff happening. If shit happens, that's always gonna just keep happening. So it's it's it's a way to navigate with that and shape shift with the shit, if you like. I love it. I didn't like shape to swear. I'm quite conscious of the fact that you probably put a parental guide in the book. No, I love that.

SPEAKER_01

That's that should be my my favourite part. Shape shift with the shit.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, shape shift with the shit.

SPEAKER_01

That should be in the book, by the way. Put that stylishly. That can be a chapter. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Stylishly shapeshift with the shit.

SPEAKER_01

Stylishly shapeshift. I love that. Um, yeah. I mean, like honestly, I feel like we've had such a great chat, and I really appreciate you coming on and just sharing your journey. And um, yeah, just thank you for the incredible impact that you have on so many women, including myself. And um you so if anyone's watching this, so you can watch this episode on YouTube, obviously. Please leave a little comment, click the like and subscribe button. If you're listening on Spotify, then you know make sure you subscribe for the next episode. Um, Lou, it's been an absolute pleasure. And um, so where is the best place for people to find you?

SPEAKER_00

Uh, you can find me on Instagram, you can subscribe to my newsletter on Substack. She says, like she does a regular newsletter when I can cobble it together, you can get a newsletter that'll tell you when big things are happening. I'm only saying that because I wrote actually managed to write an actual newsletter today. Well, there we go, it's there. Instagram is the best part. Um yeah. Fantastic. Please come find me, come to camp, be brave, do something, just do something that scares you this week because there's magic in the field.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I love that so much. Amazing. Well, let's end on that high note. Thank you for having me, darling. You're so welcome. Thanks for joining me and thanks for watching. Thank you. What an incredible masterclass and reckless optimism. Remember, your life isn't just one long slog, it is a series of chatters and you're the one holding the pen. If today's chat gave you the spark to stop shrinking and start taking up more space, please subscribe and leave a review. It helps other women find our self-love squad. And don't forget to start your own winner winner chicken dinner jar tonight and keep tracking those wins no matter how small they feel. I'm Annalie, this is Mind and Muscle Beyond 40. Go out there, stay strong, and as Lou said in the episode, learn to shape shift with the shit. I will see you in the next episode.

Head Shot

Lu Featherstone

Guest