The Scariest Part of Retirement Isn’t Money

Retirement can bring freedom, peace, and a slower pace of life… but it can also bring something many people never expect: loneliness.

In this episode of Sherapy with Sheri & Randy, we explore why community matters so much after 60 and the psychology behind connection, belonging, and aging well. 

From the benefits of social connection to the realities of walkers, weather talk,  and assisted living, this episode is honest, funny, emotional, and deeply relatable.

We also talk about:
• The hidden health risks of isolation
• Why some seniors thrive in community living—and others don’t
• Assisted living vs independence
• How retirement changes identity and daily connection
• Why nobody should go through this stage of life alone

And yes… Randy’s possible mohawk makes another appearance as we continue our road to 1,000 subscribers.

If you’ve ever wondered what aging, retirement, and community really feel like—this conversation is for you.

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Theme music by: Sheri Todd and MakeBestMusic

Written & hosted by: Sheri Todd

 Recorded somewhere between healing and humor.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Randy?

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Did you know that loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day?

SPEAKER_00 0:07

No, I did not know that.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

It is. And that's what we're going to be talking about today, not the smoking part. We're going to talk about how retirement can lead to isolation very quickly.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Very quick.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

One day you're surrounded by co-workers, and the next day it's quiet. So we're going to talk about community because nobody should figure out this stage of life alone. That's true. Retired life still. Welcome. You need people to talk with. And sometimes, you know, that purpose has always been work. When that goes away, then you're kind of sitting around going, ooh, now what? We're wired for connection. We we we we love the social interactions.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Well, when we're younger, we're speeding so fast. So fast to get somewhere. When you get to a certain age, you start thinking, how many days do I have left? How many weeks? How many months? You know, it just automatically happens. You know? I know it does. Well, just because, you know, you put a number on it, which to me is kind of scary too, because then every day you're thinking, okay, there's a year gone, but you can live to be 90 something.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Well, there's depression, there's you know, physical health, there's also uh cognitive decline when you don't have social interaction. There's a lot of different ones. I'm telling you, when I lived in Ohio, there was a friend of mine who lived or worked in a community type place like that, and I would go visit her for lunch or whatnot. And the whole bottom floor was like a mall. It really was. They'd have one section where people went and got their hair done. Then you go down a little bit further, and there was like little boutiques where you can go and you can buy things, and then down a little further, like a little mini 7-Eleven, and then go down a little further, and there'd be like a whole area where people can do arts and crafts. And then there was like a movie theater, the dining room area. They had a guy in there playing piano, you know, and people playing poker and card games and whatnot. These were people that were functioning. They weren't like unassisted living, and they'd get in their cars and go to Walmart next door or whatever if they needed to. But it was that kind of community.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

The room was a beautiful, and uh we were so impressed with everything there. And uh but only a certain amount of people can stay in that place. You gotta have a lot of money. But still 10 grand a month. If you got the money, it's beautiful. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

The statistics are that one in three seniors, though, report being woman. Which is kind of sad.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, it is. But not many people get to live like that. Some people go back to their own home by themselves, pick the kids can buy one.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

But the statistics are that seniors with strong social ties have a 50% greater chance of longevity.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

There's a lot of people out there so lonely, their kids don't take care of them, they don't give a hoot, which is really sad.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Give a hoot. It's all different. And some people hate each other.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

I go back to that lady that was in the hospital when Connie Connie was in the hospital. Connie's my wife, and uh, she was all by herself. She walked in sick, nobody there to take care of her. Don't visit her. I I helped her that night to get called a nurse for her. And I didn't think much. I would come back till the morning, she was gone, dead. She's passed away. I was so sad nobody would have sad. I I'll always think of that. That's always gonna be in my mind. So I used to die alone like that. It's gotta be So we're lucky.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

And that's how why it's so important to have community and that kind of social interaction when you get to a certain age. You know, your kids get married, go off and live their lives. You see people all the time walking their dogs.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

See dogs everywhere in the stores, everywhere. Because that was that way a lot of animals are getting homes.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

And if you live alone, it's great to have a companion. You know, just it's just someone to talk to.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

We all want to be loved. Yeah. You know, we have each other, we have a family. You know, friends, you know, I have big friends.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

And there's all kinds of different types of community. There's there's independent living, there's retirement communities, assisted living, senior sinners, there's church groups you can belong to, volunteer groups, and also living with family, which is what we're doing. And you need to have some kind of connection because it matters more than where you're at that you have connection with somebody. Uh there's some people who don't like living in a 55-year 55 plus community. I I was online and and one woman was talking about it. She has a YouTube page and she hates it. She can't stand living in a 55 and over community because it reminds her that you're old. Nobody comes out, she never sees anybody, the ambulance comes every day to take somebody away that has passed away. But yes, Randy is afraid of death, which is why he has a hard time looking at people the same age as him and thinking that they look old, which I think a lot of people have that problem.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

When you're mind, when you're walking, you look and thinking, I don't look like that. And then when you look in the mirror, you go, Oh, fuck, I look like that. What you said is getting older is hard. It really does. I work at a golf course and I work around a lot of gentlemen that are older, even older than I am, or whatever. And I swear to God, you'll talk a few minutes about golf, and next thing you talk about, man, I hurt myself here. Yes, and I take pills for this. Oh, and I got an appointment for that. But you talk to somebody in the 60s, 70s and stuff. It's all about medication and how many doctors' appointments you got coming and x-rays. Pills starts out with how many pills you take on. He goes, Oh, I used to have that problem, but yeah, it's just it's what it is, but it sucks. Whoever said these are our golden years was a golden idiot. Because you're not no golden years.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

One thing you need to understand though is that when you talk about community and you move into a community place, so if you're 55, even 75, it depends on your health.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah, your health dictates it.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

And it does. It definitely dictates it. Many people in retirement communities, they they travel, they dance, they volunteer, they date, they stay active. They're on Tinder. Swiping away. You know, they're having a good time. You can see people line dancing with freaking knee braces on. Okay, people are out doing it whatever they can, and that's the point. That's the point. That's the point of community, that's the point of staying active, making friends and doing things. Check out the communities that you're in. If you're gonna have a hard time being a community where there's a lot of older people and that bothers you, that might not be a place that you can move into, you know. But you need a community because without community, isolation can happen very slowly and quietly. People withdraw and you don't really notice it right away, but it it happens. And there's a physical and mental decline also when you don't have any kind of community, any kind of social interaction. It increases the risk of anxiety, depression. But if you're thinking of moving into a community, uh check it out and see if it's for you.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

But I love it here. It's beautiful, mountains all around us, quiet, you know, lonely. It works for us. Could work for you.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

You'll see someone in your community that looks a little lonely. Maybe they need a friend. Thank you again for joining our community and and listening to what we have to say, hoping for a brand new day. And whatever journey you may be on, always remember to embrace your voice. That's right. See you next week.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Bye, guys. Take care. Thanks for listening to Sheropee with Sherry and Randy. Be sure to subscribe on YouTube and follow us wherever you get your podcasts. Have a great week.