Building More Than Houses | Robert Pettit | The Dap and A Hug Podcast

In this episode of The Dap and A Hug Podcast, host Sadarro Chisholm sits down with Robert Pettit, owner of Absolute Construction Group LLC in Rock Hill, South Carolina.

Robert shares his journey through the construction industry, the challenges of building a remodeling company, and the principles that guide his leadership and craftsmanship.

Absolute Construction Group specializes in high-quality kitchen, bathroom, and home remodeling projects with a focus on communication, planning, and precision. The conversation goes beyond construction into leadership, accountability, men's groups, and the importance of community.

Topics include:

• Launching and growing a remodeling company
• Building strong teams and company culture
• Why planning is critical in construction
• Common misconceptions homeowners have about remodeling
• The importance of integrity and communication in business

Learn more about Absolute Construction Group:

Website
https://absoluteconstgroup.com

Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/Absolute.Construction.G

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/absolute.construction.group/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

And if you remember that I mean a microverse, if you make it because it's going to it can be completely handled. And I mean it literally inflicted one minute it's gonna be a little uncommon. The next thing you know, the help is a little hell. But if it happens in the thing we can cut. We need promo code death.com. Now we can get to the unline entity as a D A P and the detail before submitted. If you write the screen to come directly, come on the number zero three six seven zero zero three four three and make a promo code death. Let them know that you heard about blue colour roof and the depth of the podcast. Now let's get to the show. Robert, so how did you first get into construction and like what inspired you to launch Absolute Construction Group LLC?

SPEAKER_00 1:04

So originally I started uh when I was 17, started doing concrete pumping in Lancaster where I grew up. Stuck to that trait for 13 years. Thought that's where I was always gonna stay. Um I loved it. But it's hard, extremely hard on somebody who is trying to raise a family and be a present dad. Um I still love the trade. If I could still do it in balance, I probably would be. But what drove me to start absolute in the beginning was to just have more time for my family and create a legacy for my children.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Okay, let's move that mic just a little bit closer to yourself. That's gonna be okay. Can you hear me now? Yes, sir. Okay. I want to make sure everybody can we're good.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

All right. Um the biggest thing that the balance was important, but leaving a legacy for my children, not a financial legacy. To create something that gives back to the community so that when my children are my age or older and they're able to when people see that last name, they know who it is and they can say, Hey man, your father was a great man. He did XYZ A B C whatever it was. That's what it was about for me in the beginning. And it still is. I still I do think that's the reason that the Lord brought me where He did to where I am, is to be able to give back to people.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

So that's beautiful, man. We both in the same lane, so to speak. Giving back to the community, going out. How can I help someone today be a positive influence, make a positive impact on somebody's life?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

And I always thought for years that the main way I was able to give back was just money. And it can be just simple as a compliment to somebody, just saying, hey, like your shirt. Thank you. Nice car, have a great day. You know, whatever, just the smallest things. That's what I found out as I get deeper into my faith, has found out that that's for me, that's what's paramount for people. Sure, you can buy somebody's mill and that does great, but just sit down and talk to them. You see somebody at a restaurant, older gentleman, older woman. See if they want to strike up a conversation. Just listen to them. Treat them as a human. We've lost that. COVID didn't help, but we've lost that personable aspect in a lot of what we do now as a society. And it's a little sad. So I do my little part to give back.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Right. I'm glad you brought that up because I was talking to Brother Meeks a couple weeks ago about like the hurricane relief for the people in Jamaica. And we had a conversation about like doing like a GoFundMe and stuff. And in my mind, I'm like, brother, I can't, I ain't really got it like that. He was like, Well, it ain't all about the money, like you just said. Like me contacting him and contacting my pastor and getting some people together to have conversations to connect with people to come up with a plan. I'm gonna play my role one way or another. Yeah, you know what I mean? And that's why I love after you know being like surrendering and just allowing God to have his way with me. I'm just moving, moving and grooving, baby.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yeah. My devotional this morning, I got so I got a buddy of mine that owns a business here in Rock Hill, and he's got these Yappy bracelets.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Give him a shout out.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Um, Robbie Tutherrow. Uh Robbie and Kelly Tutherrow. They own Katawa Wildlife Control. Well, I need to get in contact with them. Um, birds, bats, squirrels. I think they do most everything except like snakes. Yeah. I think. He might do snakes out.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

What about skunks?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Definitely they do something for skunks before that.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Me and my shout out to Jam. Me and my cousin, like we had a skunk because I had a garden in the spring right there in the backyard. I showed I might got some peppers I can give you still back there's some jalapenos, but it was a skunk just lurking on the premises, bro. Like, and you can't do nothing against a skunk. You can't, you know, you can't shoot it, you can, but that'll be a dumb decision, and it's gonna stink up the place. And if you get close to it, it's gonna spray. If you get freaked out, it's gonna spray or whatever. I don't know the exact like psychological behavior of skunks. I just keep it.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Something like, yeah, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah, like what are you supposed to do? And like what do they do? I would like to know, but we're getting off subject.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Yeah. Um, it says salva, it's Acts 4.12. Salvation is found in no one else, for there's no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved. That was my devotional this morning. It was just hits me back again to that same point of everything I do, it's not for me. None of it's for me. It's all for the betterment of the kingdom.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Yeah, we're here to serve a higher power, man. Yep. And we do. And uh that's what I'm doing, that's what you're doing, brother. And that's why I'm just grateful that you're you're here and we connect it, you know. Uh I just want to give a little background on how we met real quick, and then we continue with the questions and whatnot. But you know, both our daughters play volleyball up at the uh the rec center uh in downtown Rock Hill, I guess, technically.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Technically, yeah, I think it's downtown. It's White Street, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

At the event center. And um, oh, the the event leading up to this weekend is gonna be the uh SAC championship. That's gonna be cool. That's gonna be great. They get to uh meet the collegiate players, they get to meet our daughters, and I think they're gonna do like some little drills with them and stuff like that. I hope y'all are coming out though. Didn't know about it, but that's a wife question. Okay. She probably got y'all locked in. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does. And we needed at dub last night. Yes. Shout out to all the ladies on the team, all the parents. Yeah. Shout out to the coach, everybody that comes and supports. Um, I'm so proud of y'all. We so proud of y'all. I just got chills.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Yeah. They they worked and earned that one. Yeah, they did.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Now, so what does the name Absolute Construction Group represent to you personally?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

That name? Um, the reason I named it that is partially me and my wife. So um at the time I was still doing uh Piedmont Exterior Solutions. That was the previous company that I owned and operated. And I was still in school to get my license. I know how to, I knew how to do all the work, but I still had to have the licensor to be able to prove that I can do the work. And um my wife was observing just about all the phone calls because this was the same time we were trying to come up with the new company name. And she just kept she would say something about absolute and it just never really resonated with me. And she got it from listening to me talk to customers, and she's hearing me say, Yeah, absolutely we can do that. Yeah, sure we can do that. Absolutely, we'd love to do for do that for you. So that's where it came from is absolute construction. And now what it's it's a different meaning now. It's uh it's a place of humility for us now. Um when I started the business five years ago, four years ago, um, I hadn't came back into my faith yet. Um when I was younger, uh 21, 22, um was when I first surrendered to Christ. And then after that, I kind of unfortunately went back into the world again and I came back. But at that time it was more of a like I'm the best, being very bragging about it. And now it's whatever it is that they need, we'll do it. Absolutely we do it all, except pools and foundations. I don't do those. But for me, it's it's just a point of humility. That's what I got drawback to every time.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Humility is very important, and I do want to say this, um, especially on this podcast, I use the word absolutely a lot. So that's proof of that. So if I say it a lot, it's not that I'm trying to do some type of marketing scheme with him or anything like that.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

It's just proof that it's that the humility is important.

unknown 8:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

So, what were the biggest obstacles that you ran into in your early days? And like, how did you come overcome those?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Probably the biggest hurdle I ran into was um when I got through my school and working in the previous field that I did, I thought I had a lot more knowledge than I did. I had book knowledge, and that's great. Book knowledge is amazing, but the practical knowledge to take it from the book to do it is a whole different ball.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah, the applications.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

I thought I knew what I was doing. Yeah, I did not. I got schooled very quick from life and being a business owner. Overcoming that and surrounding myself with the people that I found business owners that they're not necessarily in the same line of work that I do, but they're trying to elevate themselves. And these people are doing millions of dollars a year. I wanted to surround myself with those people for business principles and tactics to understand because there's two different sides to my business. The work side is great. I love it. But I had all that mostly down pat. The part that I struggle and still struggle with is just being a business owner. Going from somebody who hanging a tool belt on their on their waist for 20 years to actually stepping back and allowing those people that you hire to do those things that you hired them to do. Relinquishing that control. That's the hardest part for me. Trying to understand what that's I think that's the biggest obstacle is the control aspect. A lot of that is a lot of that has been helped by my faith. Letting go of my own fate because I know that my father's gonna have it tells us in the Bible, steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. I've got to surrender and submit to him so he can lead my life where it's supposed to go, not of my own will and my own volition.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

That's surrender step one, man. Yep, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

It sounds like the hardest step, but it's actually the easiest. Surrendering right then and right there, that's great. It's like forgiveness. If you look up the definition of forgiveness, it is the continuation of forgiveness day after day after day. So that initial act of submission is easy. At least for me it was. It was two months, three months, six months, a year later, still living in that same walk. That was the hard part. Every day of whether it's relationship, the business, kids, following that every single day, no matter what pops up, good, bad, ugly, and everything in between. That's the hardest part for me. And it's something I still I still struggle with. But I keep going forward.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, don't give up, keep fighting the good fight, man. I'm with you. Um how did you decide to focus on high-end bathroom remodeling with like fast turnaround times?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

So we did the kitchens and bath model side of things. Um because nobody else does it. Um, I mean, and that's genuinely the main reason. It's just nobody else does it.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

So that niche was just sitting out there waiting for you.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

I'm sure somewhere in the US somebody does it, but I mean, I did a couple weeks of research trying to find people that can turn kitchens and bathrooms in a week to two. I couldn't find any. Um, I'm sure somewhere they exist. Um it was just a niche that I had no I had no desire because when I went to when I got my license, my plan was to do um like multi-apartment, like multi-family living, apartments, condos. That was my original game plan because at the time I just seen money, money, money. That's where I wanted to go. That's what I was most familiar with. The Lord had a different plan altogether. He he brought me around to this, and I think it's where I wanted to be altogether. I just didn't know where that was. He led me to that.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Definitely. And just, you know, I'm I'm having one of those moments where we we talked about before the podcast, but like if you don't have any direction and you're trying to fill a void and you just feel lost, just reach out to me and um I'll tell you what I did and how it helped me. And I'll just kind of show you the way that the type of path that I took. And because that's what I'm doing as far as inspire people and help people. Because I've been lost, I mean, I I was lost before. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was going through these like cycles. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 13:30

The dopamine cycle.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yeah. Like just chasing some kind of dragon that doesn't really exist. It's just it's just negativity and it's evil, it's it's just the the power of the enemy. And unfortunately, there's a lot of that going on now, you know, on social media and stuff like that. That's why I'm just trying to enlighten people, show, show, like give people their flowers, tell inspirational stories, and motivate people to make that change that they need to to fulfill their goals and their obligations and be good fathers and mothers and family, and that foundation is based around Christ, in my opinion. That's what I know in my heart. Amen. Like I tell people I'm not trying to shove it down anybody's throat, just watching, just observe.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Yeah. I mean, your walk will speak for itself. Absolutely. See, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Oh now, what separates y'all uh from other original remodeling companies?

SPEAKER_00 14:23

So, in my opinion, there's a couple different things, and I mean I kind of go through this with most of my customers. You won't ever hear me when I'm in a customer's presence, you won't ever hear me talking about talking down or bad to other customers or other companies. I can't attest to what they do. We can only attest to how we do it and why we do it. Uh, one of the big things we added two years ago was being able to see it before you buy it. Number one. There's a couple of companies that do that as well. But the personal touches that we put into every project. It's our home concierge service as we call it. We've got um my business officer office manager, Megan. She'll go through, she'll there's about an eight-page questionnaire we talk with them. We find out the habits of the of the home itself. Okay. What time do you normally get home? Are you do you have kids? How old are they? Are they sensitive to loud noises? Do they have specific allergies? Do the parents, the homeowners, do they have specific allergies? We get on a very personal level with them. Because we're gonna be in your house and we're gonna be all up in your business for a week or two or three. We're gonna have to get to know each other. And I think that's what separates it's like um instead of just just putting up plastic to make a curtain wall, so to speak, we put in air scrubbers on the inside that we're working to make it and they're HEPA at that. So we try to maintain as little impact on the home as we can. It is a construction zone, there's gonna be noise, there's gonna be dirt and stuff. But during the process, after the first week, which is demo and all of what we consider rough work, after that, I have a cleaner come in. She cleans the rest of the house, not where we're working, but the rest. So for anything that's spilled over and we change air filters in the home. One of the questions is what size is the air filter for your HVAC? We change that. A lot of people nowadays have a lot of allergies to dust, dirt, paint, some of the chemicals we use, et cetera. Yeah, we try to mitigate as much of that as we can. Another thing that we do specifically for our kitchens is when we're done with the kitchen, um, what we do is part of that questionnaire is what is the family's favorite meal or individual favorite meals? And I either have my wife, shout out to her, uh, or the business manager Megan. We get we get a very specific list. And it's not just generic list, but because every recipe is gonna be a little different in like the brand of things that you buy, whether it be a spice or a type of noodle or whatever, we get very in-depth on those questions. We go and we get those groceries the day before we end the project and we put them in the refrigerator because the last thing you want to do for most people, the last thing they're gonna think about amidst the chaos of finishing their kitchen is I gotta go to the grocery store and get that's genius. And I wish I'd love to take the idea that it was mine, but it was actually my mom's. Okay. But and that's something we do. Now, for bathrooms, I take I pay attention because I take a lot of pictures before and during. I look at the shampoos, the soaps, stuff like that. We get them a gift basket when we're done. Because when we take all that stuff out, sometimes I know like in my my household, if I if it's not right here in front of me, I'm gonna lose it. Yeah. My wife and a mother keep great care of all that, but I'm not. So we go out, we give them a whole gift basket of everything that was in there before.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

That's beyond thoughtful.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

And that's that personal yeah for me, that's that personal aspect. And I don't do it just to to get kudos. Money comes and goes when you focus on building relationships. Relationships, yeah. That's what it's about.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

I just got chills again. Yeah, shout out to your moms. Does she come to the games?

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Uh she's been to a couple of them, yeah. Okay, introduction. She wasn't oh well, she wasn't last night. She was sick.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Oh, is she okay?

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Uh sinus infection.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

That's stuff going around, the flu's going around. Everybody take your, you know, do what you got to do to uh stay vigilant out here for your immune system.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Sanitize your hands a lot.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yeah. Now, how does offering in-house design, and that's like the CAD or CAD and building create a better client experience? What'd you say?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

So, what we figured out was um a lot of our customers, when you're holding up one or two pieces, if you're holding up a paint swatch and a piece of towel, you can see that. But when you're holding up the type of floor, the color of the vanity, the wall color, the shower valve, the tile tile in the shower walls, or the floors, you start putting all these pieces together. Very few people we've ever met as customers can imagine that all in one space. It's very hard. I know I can't. I'm not a creative person like that. Don't ask me if colors look good together. Don't know. I can build you whatever you want, but that design part of it, that's not me. Right. So the design is twofold. So we have um McHenry Designs, shout out to Michelle. She does all of my interior designing, and she manages the flow of the project, so to speak. That everything works together. And then we have M33 Designs that does all of our kitchen files. We build it. It's you get 2D and 3D renderings. You can see it's about 95% accurate as far as coloring. There's a little difference because what we see with our eye and a computer can render is always a little different.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Oh, there's going to be a margin of error, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Yeah, of course. But what we started noticing was we get halfway through a project, and I got a customer telling me this didn't turn out like I thought it was going to. Yeah. And so we stopped. And I'm, and for a while, I couldn't figure out how how can we bring that to light? How do we how do we fix that problem for a client? Because overall, any business, small, big, whatever it is, in a service-based industry, we're problem solvers. That's what it is. A customer comes to us with a problem, we hand them a solution, and it works. And what that was was I went to a small business luncheon two years ago at Winthrop for through the city. Um, I think it was called the Economic Development Department or something like that. Um and um I met this guy. We instantly clicked, talked about what he can bring to the company, and it's been amazing ever since. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

That's a beautiful representation of symbiosis. That's my favorite word in biology. Just like just like right now, like we're helping each other. You're supporting me, my podcast, and I'm helping you, you know, as a guest, and we're having a conversation, is giving the audience an opportunity to see the human side of you. Which obviously, I mean, the people that you deal with already do. But people that haven't heard of your company, yeah, hopefully, you know, they get to see it. You get to see it. Yeah. And it's the real deal. Um, how do you ensure both luxury level precision and two to three week project um project completion?

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Planning. So the planning stage for us is usually it's compared to some of the other feedback we get from customers, um, our planning stage. Two or three times longer than what other people do. And the reason that is is I want to have all my materials on site the type of tile, the type of grout, the fixtures, everything I can. And we we plan so meticulously because we do offer that one, two, three-week turnaround. And that's what we figured out that when you when you look up the average remodel time for a kitchen in South Carolina, in the Southeast, not even the Carolinas, just the Southeast, it's four to eight weeks. A kitchen is six to eight weeks. And I think a lot of that is just due to lack of planning, proper planning. We go through, I mean, we use a software called LIDAR. We go in with two, looks like uh, looks kind of like a basketball or volleyball. Um, they sit on tripods and it scans every, about every, it's about 95% accurate. I can't say every square inch, but it covers most of it. And then during that same production meeting, we call it a discovery meeting. But during that same discovery meeting, I'm also there with myself, my interior designer, and my in-house designer. We go through and we're measuring every part of this kitchen or bath or whatever the space is. And we take the technology, it's great, but it does miss things. It works off of radar, basically. And like this window that's open. If this was in your kitchen and I put the software right in the middle where you're sitting, it's gonna have discrepancies on that wall because the light coming in is gonna refract in inconsistently.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

So that's where we come in. We're taking all of our measurements as well. We match those measurements, and then we know the exact square footage. It's just a meticulous detail to planning that allows us to be able to, once we start, there's basically no hiccups. There's always a couple hidden, whether it's under a cabinet, behind the wall, behind an appliance. But those, if that's the only thing we have to mitigate during the project, it's a small speed bump 99% of the time. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

So what non-negotiable standards guide your work when balancing speed and quality?

SPEAKER_00 24:19

Um we don't cut corners. We don't so you the company used to work for, they kind of had an in-house term. We they called them rounding corners. They'd never cut corners, but they'd round them.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

That raises my eyebrow.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Yeah. Um and we don't even do that. We there is I'm held to a lawful and ethical background from my license, and I'm not gonna do anything to infringe on either one of them. Because, and outside of the license, I've still got to know that these people that I go into their homes for the psychology of owning a home. I I never realized this as a business until I became a business owner. I started talking to other people. I never understood the psychology of a homeowner. And there is a very specific book, and it says how to deal with a homeowner. It's about it's about 60 pages. It's pretty short. Man, it is it'll change your perspective on the world. Most homeowners emotionally react to anything revolving the house because for most people, a home itself is going to be the biggest investment people make. So when it's that large of an investment, people are emotionally tied to it. So therefore, they're emotionally reactive. Um, there's a certain way that you have to handle homeowners with one is the utmost respect, but two is you have to present to them that what what you're doing and what you're suggesting is gonna be the best for them. And it's not you can't come from a place of money. You genuinely has to come from a place of love and care so that they understand what you're doing, and you're not just saying it costs this much because it's just the money. Like I say, I go back to money comes and goes, building and maintaining relationships is what it's about.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

Yeah. Well, we could go, we could have a whole uh we could have a whole podcast about that. Yeah, not serving two masters and the importance of building relationships with people because you can't take that money with you when you go to the next. Yeah. Um can you share a transformation story that captures what your company stands for? Reflecting back. Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

I got a couple of those. Um this one that stands out to you off the top of your head. The Waters Kitchen. Uh it's a it's a client we have in Charlotte. Um that one was largest, not by monetary standard, but just the size of the kitchen. Um most average kitchens are you look at like your production homes, your Ryan homes, stuff like that, they're around 200, 250 square feet roughly. Um this one was 1,400 square feet for a kitchen. And on the back side of it, it has what's what's called an auxiliary or scolery kitchen. So it's a kitchen within the kitchen. So um this is a pretty large house, and on top of that, um the wife is a chef. She runs her business out of the kitchen. So we had to uh keep so there's two kitchens in the house, the main and the scullery. Her business operates out of the scalery kitchen. So we're trying to remodel both. The main kitchen we had to tear apart, not interrupt water, power, gas to the auxiliary or the scalery kitchen. Because she still has a business to run seven days a week. Right. She's got four employees. I mean, they stay humping in there. I mean, they're cooking, and I mean, um JA catering, by the way. Shout out to them. Their food is amazing. I'm gonna jot that down. Um as a gift back to us, she made us, me and the crew, a whole spread. Man, it was like Thanksgiving. Yeah. Ham, turkey, uh, mac and cheese, collard greens, pinto beans. Man, it was amazing. So that one was probably the most challenging um because they have a shared wall, and in that wall, all of everything, all the power, the water, everything comes through. So we had to be able to separate and give her access in and out and keep it sanitary at the same time so she could serve her clients while we're building her kitchen. So that one I'd love to have said that we could have done it in a week or two. That was a four-week project. 90% of our jobs we can finish within five or ten business days. Um, that one was it was the exception, not the rule. And that one was four weeks.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

So yeah, my aunt is actually looking to get some work done at my grandma's house in York.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

So I'm gonna I'm gonna get y'all connected. Yeah. Like for real. Yeah. Shout out to my Aunt Letha and everybody else on California Circle, all my cousins, all my family, everywhere. And um, so what would you say is the most challenging remodel or client request that you've encountered? The most challenging. Would that have been one maybe? Or do you have one more?

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Yeah, the waters. That was it. Um, the only other one that comes to mind is um we had a customer, her family home, she doesn't live in it, is here local in Catawba. Um, she lives in Canton, Ohio. Um we redid her family home middle of last year um to get it market ready. And she called me out of the blue about three or four months later, um, and said, Hey, I got a question for you. I'm like, what? She was like, Would you drive up here to Ohio to try to figure out what's wrong with my house? She said, I've had three companies out, they can't give me no answers. Sure. So we drove all the way to Canton, Ohio, um, figured out what's wrong, stayed four days in a hotel, and drove back once we got it fixed.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

What can you share what it was that they didn't catch?

SPEAKER_00 30:27

So a lot of old construction. You'll see it here in like mostly in the city of Rockill, uh, some of the older houses built in the 20s to 40s. Um, they have most of them have copper wiring. Well, at some point, somebody ran a what they call a blind wall. So if you're looking, so if this is your wall, somebody built something in front of here. So there's still a cavity in the back that you, if you didn't know, wasn't there. She had an old copper line that was leading to the dishwasher or the washing machine on the other side. It was in that blind wall and it was dripping, and it was on the second floor. So if you looked on the surface, when I mean they like say three other companies had come out and taken drywall off of the front side of that wall. There's no water lines in there. But there's a blind wall back behind it, and we found it.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

That's that's that's that's wild, man. That's that's that's very impressive. And what what else is impressive and sticks out to me about this interview and this conversation is that like I know a lot of people complain about like construction and renovation places like not completing the job or like dragging it out, taking too long. And it sounds like you're the remedy.

SPEAKER_00 31:42

We try to be. I mean, I've got um I've got a customer that just reached out to me last night after the game. Um, I was standing there talking to one of the parents of one of the kids I coached on my son's flight football team. Okay. She ran into somebody, she introduced me, and I just happened to overhear her complaining about the current company she had. They started their bathroom in July. What? July. And the only thing that's been done is demo and paint. It's four months, man. I had to count on my fingers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Basically about five because December's right around the corner.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

The parent looked at me and said, Well, he's a GC. I and I've done her kitchen. We've done her kitchen back in the summer. It was two weeks. We were in and out. Wow. So she um we exchange information, and when I leave here, I'm going over there to see her. Wow. I got a 4:30 appointment to see her house.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

That's crazy. It is. Um now let me ask you this. So, like, how do you assist clients who are like unsure of the vision or style direction? Like you have you have someone that takes care of the style direction, all right.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

Yeah, about to say, I'd love to take credit for that, but that's not right. That's Michelle. Right. Yeah. She is, I mean, she's been doing it for I think 20, 25 years or so. I mean, McHenry designed, she's amazing. I mean, she can see, she thinks she's the way she sees things in her mind. I mean, it's like a Lego thing for her. She puts all these pieces together. And I never understood until we got into the space of kitchens, is the flow of a kitchen. I never knew that was a thing. I guess maybe because I'm a man, I I don't really know, but I mean, I spend a lot of time in my kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

I was about to ask you if you cook.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

I do. Most of mine is outside. Right, on the grill, probably, like me, yeah. Yeah, I grill and I smoke. So that that's my territory, but there is a very significant flow to a kitchen. And it they it's called a triangle. So if you especially if you have an island, so the way it works is what you want to be able to do is measure. So just say this piece of paper is your island. One, two would be your cabinet, two would be a wall or another cabinet. These triangles, you want them to maintain 42 inches. That sounds like a lot, but if you figure yourself, wife, husband, whoever it is, if they're passing by each other, that's the space you need to comfortably pass by one another or for drawers open to be unobstructed. It the science that goes into a kitchen, I never understood it. I never thought about it until we got into the space. And there are literal conventions, there are books that tell you, that teach you, I should say, the science behind the kitchen. It is astronomical, the level of psychology that goes into this stuff. It's crazy. I never would have understood it until I read it. And then once you read it, it all clicks, the light bulb hits. But I never knew there was such psychology behind it.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

I I respect and admire the fact that you did your research. And look what it look what came of it. You doing your own research.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

As we talked about earlier before we started, I got this ADHD thing. So when I go down that rabbit hole, I go. And then I just like it's for days. I just can't get it out of my head until I get to a point of okay, I'm good now. I know enough about this. And then it's the next shiny object, and then the next one, and then the next one. So what was her name again? Michelle? Yeah, Michelle McHenry.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Okay. Well, I'm hoping she's still there when I build my house. Think y'all can help me out with that? Definitely. We'd love to. 100%. Um, what is one misconception that homeowners commonly have about remodeling, though? Cost.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

That's the biggest part of it. Can you elaborate on that a little bit? So, like, so the way my process works is a new customer, whether it's a referral, uh, website, whatever it is, Google, I have a 30 to 60 minute consult, a phone consult with them. We sit down, I go over all their ideas. Um they want a rough estimate. I'd love to give it to you. And I will, but it's gonna be okay, it could be$25,000 or it could be$100,000. And they're like, why just don't want a hundred thousand dollar kitchen? That's kind of crazy. There's a lot of them out there, but most people, you don't need that. Selections and the cost factor to them. For example, you can go to Lowe's, Home Depot, Doll Tau, and find towel for$2 a square foot. You can go to the same places and find towel for$12 a square foot. That makes a big difference. Cabinets. There's four major cabinet companies in Charlotte that do what we call pre-made cabinets. They show up to the dimensions that we order. Then there's two other companies that do high-end, like on-site, custom-built cabinetry like we do. When I say a box, meaning one box of cabinet, you can go to company A and it'd be$200. Or you can go to company B and it'd be$800. Well, when you multiply that variance by 15 or 20 or 30 boxes in your kitchen and then countertops. Countertop world is ridiculous. You can spend$20,000,$40,000,$60,000 on countertops.

SPEAKER_01 37:20

And it just depends on what type, what the material is, what it costs, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah, whether it's man-made quartz or if it's real, like quartz out of granite, and there's so many variations, gradations of each one, you can get analysis, paralysis, walking into a countertop place. You can just get lost. Like it is a ma it's astronomical at how many um how much is going on with countertops alone. And then you add in flooring, then you add in any electrical or plumbing, drywall, trim. I'd love, I guess people, the misconception people think is it's just a money grab kind of thing. Yeah. It's really not. I I have no idea what you want. We had to go through the design process to figure out what you want to be able to give you a realistic budget. That's I think that's the biggest thing people have the misconception about is it's just a money grab. And for me, it's not. Like I said, money comes and goes.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

Yeah, you're I mean, you're full transparent about it. So with the cabinets, the difference in price. I mean, it's it depends on what type of wood you use. What's one of the most like expensive or high-end woods, would you say, off the top of your head?

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Um, so it'd probably be a red oak or birch. And they have great longevity of life. I mean, you can get 20 to 40 years out of those cabinets. Like if you ever go to like an older house, like maybe your grandma's house, auntie's house, those cabinets been there since you was a kid.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Probably what they are. You won't get ply. Some plywood cabinets nowadays are really good quality. A lot of them, they look good, but in 10 years, doors are falling apart, there's gaps in them, because the quality is just not there. And I mean, that's what like that's the biggest thing is I go back to that selections. Because you can go to say Ferguson, for example, plumbing supply store. You can go in there and get a faucet, a single faucet for your kitchen that's$2,000. Or you can go in there and get a$200 one. I don't know what people want just off of a 30 or 60-minute conversation. I don't know what they want. And we have to ask all these questions and have the meetings beforehand to thoroughly be able to say, okay, this is your number. This is a firm number. Good, bad, the ugly, whatever it may be, then usually what happens is they go in there and they tell me all this they want. Then they get that number, and they're like, oh, it's a little high. What can we do to bring that down? Right. And then they start looking at their selections, and I'm like, well, we can sub this and this if you want. I'm not pressuring you. A lot of people think that, like, one thing that we I know specifically do different than most every company I know of, I don't mark up materials. So what I what I pay for your materials is what you're gonna pay for your materials. A lot of our customers have had other dealings with other companies that have a 20, 30, 40% markup on materials. We don't do that. I have no I make my money off of labor. When I give you that number on labor, because for me, it doesn't matter if you buy a$2,000 faucet or a$200 faucet. My labor to install is the same. It has no bearing on what you buy. So therefore, that it I feel like it eases that tension. I give them full transparency. Like another thing we do is in our packets, we get so the kitchen design or the bathroom design, or maybe it's an addition, whatever the project is, we get a spiral-bound book. That design goes in, it gets printed full color. And in the back of that, it has a printout from the LLR that says, here's my license. And I even go a step further. The next page, if you want to make a if you want to file a complaint against me, yeah, there's your paper to do it right there. That's how confident we are. And it's not a cockiness by any means, it's a humility of that's what it is. Okay, here's everything you need. And when we're done, we take tons of pictures before, during, and after the projects. One thing that we do is like for service behind the wall. Do you know, like looking at your wall right here, do you know where the electrical's at?

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Probably not. Uh to be honest, it's like a it's a little a hole down there that has electrical stuff right there as far as like the cables and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

But no, I mean inside your wall.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

No.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Yeah. So what we do is when we tear the when we tear all the drywall off, we take all those pictures and we pull measurements from both sides. So you if you have a water leak, or if you want to hang a picture there in your kitchen or whatever it is, we we go that to that length of detail. Wow. That way you know where everything's at.

SPEAKER_01 42:07

I mean, dare I say the cliche of above and beyond. Yeah. And just real quick, just my personality, like people wanting to get these expensive woods for their cabinets. If you're buying them expensive wood, the expensive cabinets, you better make sure you got a terminex guy or a termite company that does the termites or whatever. Yeah. That didn't come out right, but you understand what I'm saying? Because no matter how sturdy or how good that wood looking, them termites get out there regardless.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

So and that's the other thing that that like our kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Hold on a second. Terminex is not a sponsor that that just came to my head. They're not, I'm not affiliated with them. I'm serious, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

But like one of the other things we do in that nature is like we set them up with companies that do that. We give them options. There's not a singular company that I push. Right. There's always two to three options. I say, hey, look, you've got real wood in your house now. And a real problem could be termites. Here's a couple business cards or salespeople that we've worked with in the past. Call them, or we'll have them come out.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

I'm so glad I said what I said. And for you to even say that, like that's that's that's wild that you do that, bro. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

And like appliances. So when we purchase them, yeah, the reason we purchase them is we know exactly what we're looking for. They go through the showroom wherever that may be. Best Buy, um, Ferguson, Queen City Appliance, whatever it is, Fox Appliance, they go through and pick out the exact one they want. When we buy it, we're the procurement agent, is what it's called. We register them to their warranty, to that person, couple, whatever it may be. Yeah, the address and everything. And because we're authorized installers through all of them, you get an additional year warranty because we install it.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

That's beautiful. Yeah. Um, what qualities do you look for when building your team?

SPEAKER_00 43:55

Integrity is the biggest thing. Like I I you can do what you want around me, but when It's nine o'clock at night and you're finishing up a job, or if it's on a Saturday or whatever it is, when nobody else is around, no homeowner, no supervision, no nobody. Nobody looking but God. Yep. What are you gonna do? But you gonna do? That's exactly what that and communication. Right. Effective communication is a rarity. And it's something that I say that to myself. I uh I have had to train myself to be more effective in communication. And now I have kind of the opposite problem. I overly communicate a lot. So I don't think it's a bad thing, but I've had people in the past say, why do you talk so much? I got a lot to say. That'd I tell them.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

I was gonna say something, but you you articulated that well. I mean, you know, it's just like why how can how dare somebody say you talk too much? Yeah. Maybe they should listen more. How about that?

SPEAKER_00 44:54

That's what I feel sometimes too. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:58

How much time do we got? You talk as much as you want to.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

For real.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

Well, I think for me, it's the biggest thing that I bring to the table to my customers as a business owner is I need to bring you all the information you need to make a decision of whatever, whether it's bathroom, kitchen, edition, whatever it is, I'm gonna give you all this information. And if you don't do if you don't go with me, that's cool. If you hire somebody else, I I told a lot of people that's didn't that's turned us down for jobs, hey, like we've compared Apple to Apple, they're quote, my quote. They're like, I'm just not understanding why they're cheaper. I'm not sure either. But if they get in here and they start doing something you're not sure about, give me a call. I come back over. Because, like I say, for me, money comes and goes. It's not about money, it's about building and maintaining those relationships and transparency. The world of general contracting has got out of hand with people that overpromise and underdeliver. And it's uh I try to bring a refreshing personal touch to it in everything that I do.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

That that speaks volumes, bro. I dig that all the way. Um, how do you measure internal success, like timeline, craftsmanship, client satisfaction, referrals, stuff of that, stuff of that nature?

SPEAKER_00 46:20

Client satisfaction. That that is paramount for me. I mean, we've went above and beyond to what our normal above and beyond is to be able to make people happy. And I mean, it's just little things. Like we had a client in Gastonia, um, her mother loved to read. So what we did was like we do this for all of our customers. Always some little personal thing that that as we're going through the project, I'm talking to them, I get an idea of what they might like. I just throw out little random questions here and there. They don't even realize they're being interviewed. Yeah. Just throwing little stuff out there. But we made a we had a really deep window casing like that. Yeah. But it was 14 inches deep. And what we did was we made a bookshelf on it. She loved to sit at that window and read. She didn't have nowhere to put the books, though. So we made a bookshelf. It costed a couple hours of time and a couple hundred dollars in labor. But we made it for her. And it was just those little things like that that make we go above and beyond to make sure customers are happy.

SPEAKER_01 47:26

I'm getting I'm literally getting emotional over here thinking about it. Like, what are you doing for these people, man?

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Because like the the the project was redoing the attic for her mother. That's where she was gonna live. I think mid-70s, 71, 72, something like that. And that's the reason they were redoing the attic was for her to live in. They wanted to get her out of the facility she was in. Yeah. So that was the purpose of it. And instead of using stairs, we put in the elevator to take her down to the second floor.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Yep. Now, did you charge them for an elevator? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

Okay. But it wasn't nowhere near as expensive as they had as they had thought. Right. So, I mean, considering what you're getting, it wasn't bad. Right. But we had to bring an engineer because the I say second floor, but the main what would be the main floor of the house. Um, we built a staircase in the corner of the hallway that led upstairs, because they still needed access to and they didn't want to use the elevator. So we put in a staircase leading upstairs and we put in the elevator. I mean, all in total, it wasn't as bad as they thought it was gonna be. It still, we still give them everything that they needed for her mom. Yeah, it was her mom, yeah. And still stayed within budget. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

To be able to do all that and maneuver that and stay within budget. That's yeah. That's wow.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

And a lot of times, like I've got a specific client in Lancaster. All right, they've had a pretty, a really bad run dealing with two other. I can't even call them GCs because they're not licensed, but remodel companies. Um, the wife wanted a very, very specific sink. The wife built the kitchen herself. It's all her, you know, not physically, but everything in this kitchen was to make her happy. Yeah, her vision, basically. And she wanted a very specific sink. Well, unfortunately, um one of those two companies that they worked with uh took a lot of money from them for deposits, um never did anything with it. So they came to me and their budget, the the sink itself, the pot filler and the faucet she wanted, they just didn't have budget for it anymore. So she had convinced herself she was gonna go to Home Depot and get one. We still bought her that sink and that faucet in that pot filler. I eat that. It wasn't a terrible amount of money. At least to me it wasn't. Made her day because of all the stuff she had been through. I figured that's at least a little bit I could give her. You know?

unknown 50:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

It brought a little bit of joy.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

Absolutely. I mean, I'm still friends with them. I still she'll call and text, ask about the kids. I mean, it just once again, it's that building and maintaining relationships. So that's yeah, that's what it's about for me. It is.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Amen. Um now, how hands-on are you today? And uh how do you stay connected to the craft?

SPEAKER_00 50:29

I still wear a tool belt two or three days a week. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

Because I mean, the way I look at it is like the difference in a boss and a leader is I'm not gonna tell you to do something that one I haven't done and two I don't know how to do. I'm not gonna critique my people. There's certain parts of this, like for example, countertops. I'm not a countertop guy. I don't know how to fab them. Uh none of that. I know how to install them, but I can't go to my countertop guy and say, man, you can't do it that way. You need to do it this way. Or why are you doing it? No, I can't do that. That's not right. And uh that is to me demoralizing going to another business owner and saying, hey, you don't know what you're doing. When I don't even know what I'm doing with how am I gonna critique your craft when I don't know what I'm doing? You know, that's people out here that do stuff like that. All day. That micromanaging aspect, I have no desire of it. None at all. But for me, staying true to my craft is listening to the people that I hire, whether it be an employee or a sub, a subcontractor, what they need, I listen to. And I'm not gonna push them, I'm not gonna bully them, uh, we don't beat them down on price or nothing like that. They they know the expectation that I have. And when we do our pre-construction meetings, we call them pre-cons. They tell me, hey man, I see a problem with this wall. Because I can't see it all, I can't know it all. That's the reason I surround myself with professionals that help me elevate. And they say, hey, there's a problem here. Okay, I'm listening. What do you need? What do you want to do? How do we need to change this? Whatever the case is, that's how I stay true to my craft.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

And you're open to the people that work with you and for you, you're open to their ideas, right? Absolutely. What kind of message do you think it sends to, I guess, even like your customers, but definitely like your employees, if an employee comes up with an idea, right? And it's a good idea, but like a manager shuts them down. Then after that meeting, it's like all of the peers, the coworkers are like high five and that customer saying, Thank you for saying that. That's a good idea. Like, what kind of message would this end?

SPEAKER_00 52:35

I I know for me when I was in a position not as a business owner, and those exact same things happened, it little by little ate at me and tore me down and devalued me because these are things that I'm telling my boss, and then he's shutting it down. And then he turns around and goes to either upper management or client and says, Hey, what do you think about this?

SPEAKER_01 52:58

And then takes the credit for it.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

Takes everybody, yeah. I I don't do that. That's wrong.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

I don't even know what word represents that in the Webster English Webster dictionary.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

But furiated is a start. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

I had a similar situation, man. I just it but honestly, I'm glad it happened because it was just like more confirmation that I don't belong here. I have things I need to do out here, and obviously I have some good ideas, and I'm gonna go out here and help some people. I'm gonna do what I do. Do what I do. You just do you. I'm gonna do me.

SPEAKER_00 53:28

And like another thing that like I've had employees that come to me that wanted to start their own business and become a subcontractor. Now, I don't know how anybody else was handled. I've talked to a couple of business, a couple other business owners that told me, and these are guys that are good at what they do. Right. And they tell me, hey, why would you help them do that? Because I got two choices. Either they're still gonna leave me if they want to start their own business, they want to have that ambition. One of two things is gonna happen. They're still gonna leave me and go do their own thing. Then I don't then I can't use them. Because if I turn them down and say, hey, that's a bad idea, if I try to mislead them, it's gonna come out to them. They're gonna feel that. That's not right. Number two is I help them further themselves, and they I still get to use them as a subcontractor. So everybody's a win-win. It is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

Beautiful. Now, what do you see absolute construction group in the next three to five years? I know that's like a common question, but staying where we are, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

Nice. Um, I don't want to really get any bigger. I want to be able to maintain quality where we're at in that personal aspect. Um what I've been focusing on, what my three-year goals are, is just tighten, tighten us up on efficiency, so to speak, um, and continue going into that narrowing in on that personal aspect and taking our craft, what we do, and just being better at it.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

Right. But you're still like open to like new innovations and stuff like that, whether it's gonna help the process, make it more efficient and stuff like that. You're just not looking to really expand geographically. No, no, I really don't.

SPEAKER_00 55:08

I mean, we we stay pretty local to the Charlotte area. Like I said, I mean, we've had customers that have had either separate homes or like Airbnbs. We've went to the mountains, North, North North Carolina and Tennessee numerous times to take care of that. Um, Charleston, um Ohio. Ohio. Um, we've did that, but geographically, I'd like to stay the size that I am, maybe grow a little bit, but overall just kind of continue to to dive further into our craft and continue to serve our customers the best we can. Like I we talked about this before the podcast. I'm not a tech guy. I didn't think technology, I didn't understand the capability of technology and what it could do for me. Right. Like that LiDAR system. All I could look at was the money side of it. Because it's expensive. It serves its purpose very well, but it's expensive. And I didn't want to do it. And that but there's other companies out there that are having that competitive edge, so to speak. Because a lot of people, they look at technology, they look at a company that doesn't use technology, especially like our generation and younger, they look at that and they the first thing that comes to mind is antiquated. They don't they don't feel that they're up to date. Right. So we started incorporating technology, and it's been one of the best things I've ever done. I mean, honest to God, it is one of the best things we ever did. It makes the process, it has its own quirks, don't get me wrong. But overall, it provides a much better service to the clients.

SPEAKER_01 56:44

Yeah, I mean, you're not regretting it, and I'm sure you got your return on investment. And that return on investment might not even be like the narrow right there, just those relationships that you're building along the way as well.

SPEAKER_00 56:54

And that's what it's about is being able to just better serve, increasing that efficiency, not only for us, but for the customer. Right. I don't really think as far as a timeline perspective, we can get it less time. I mean, like we finished a we did an entire kitchen remodel. We went all the way back to the studs in the kitchen. All new drywall, countertops, floors, cabinets, everything. Paint. We did it, we turned it in five days. I don't think we can get much less time. What we can what we can do is increase efficiency on how long we're there. So instead of we're we're there from seven to six, maybe start trying to work it to seven to four, seven to three, or be more efficient in the amount of product we use, be more efficient in just any of the deficiencies, just becoming more efficient in it. That's what my focus is for the next three to five years. Like I said, I don't want to get any bigger because for me, don't get me wrong, this business is my baby. But what I've learned through this is outreach. That's where my focus has shifted to. So also, uh Good Hair Barber on India Hook. Um, for anybody listening, we're doing a food pantry. All you gotta do is go in there, take what you need, leave what you can. These are a lot of uncertain times right now with things going on in the government, and we got holidays coming. Take what you need, leave what you can. That's the whole purpose of it. Myself and eight other businesses, we've come together and individuals as well. We've got a food pantry there. It's all non-perishables. You can help out. If you want to donate to it, take the food over there. Um, if you need the food, go in there. There's no questions asked. There's no looks, there's no judgment, there's no nothing. You walk in, there's a thing of bags, you get what you need, leave what you can.

SPEAKER_01 58:58

That's it. Is that where you get your uh haircut at? Yeah. You know, Jonathan? Yeah. Shout to Jonathan. What's up, bro? Holl at me, man. Like, what's up?

SPEAKER_00 59:07

Shout out Renee King. That's my barber.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

Cool.

SPEAKER_00 59:10

She goes by Lee. Yep. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

I used to roll with uh Jonathan when I did jujitsu over there. Uh Rocky Hill BJJ. He's a beast. Great guy. Super good dude. Um, let's talk about this men's group that you had mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago. Um, like, so what's the name of the like what's can you just talk about it, I guess? Like, how did you get into it? Like, is there a name for it?

SPEAKER_00 59:34

And yeah. So uh how I got into it is uh the the the two guys responsible for being obedient and listening to God, first of all. Um he's the owner of the business I mentioned earlier, Kataba Wildlife. Uh his name's Robbie Tutherrow and Q Stewart. Um this was their idea, just kind of spitballing off of each other. Uh originally the plan was to be kind of a it was a two-part of fitness and mental health. Um, because we both know the correlation of those two. I'm big on that, bro. Yeah. Um, and that was the original plan. Right. But God. So they had their first meeting um first week of December. Um, I wasn't there for that one. I ran into Robbie, so that was Monday, the first Monday last year. I ran into Robbie at Home Depot that following Thursday. He told me about it. He said, hey man, come on out. Great. He hosted at his house. And through the evolution, we're about 25 members strong now. Yeah, in less than a year. Um, so it's called busting heads and breaking chains. So I love that name. It's kind of it's the wordplay. Like the busting heads is that's what men do. Right. We bust heads with each other. And the breaking chains is just that. We we the point of the group is it's spiritual, it's spiritually led. We get a word in by somebody. Um there's no leadership per se of it. We're all equal peers in this. We're all business owners, um men that lead our home spiritually. Most 90% of us have at some point had some battle with addiction of some sorts. Um, we uplift each other. Originally, kind of the name was a men's enrichment group. That's kind of the that was the original term for it. And it's just that in the Bible it talks about planting seeds. Um, it talks about um enriching that soul so that those fruits can grow. That's what we're doing. Um I mean, we've been able to came, we've came such a long way in this. Um, so once a month over at House of Agape, uh, we feed the homeless. We go sit down. And it's not just a feed. We sit down, we talk to them, we engage with them, we listen to them. We hear them, we see them as people. So often the homeless community gets overlooked. Uh that you know, that's they made their choices. Yeah, they did. I'm sure of that. There's there's cases of people that I've talked to at that homeless shelter that it was just a series of unfortunate events.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:24

And a lot of them are veterans.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:27

So many of them are veterans, and it's ridiculous that we can't take care of our own people. I mean, I I heard a we had a speaker there two months ago, and his thing was we can take care of all these inmates in jail, but we can't feed veterans. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:46

Something got to give, man. Yeah. I mean, the nonsense, like it is nonsense. We all got hoodwink or whatever, y'all, which y'all shenanigans, man. I'm just gonna bite my tongue right now. Um you know Valerie Watkins? Lady V?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

Yeah, yeah, I know the name, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:02

Very special lady. She goes, she goes to my church. Oh, does she? Yeah, we did a podcast uh this past Friday, actually. It'll be it'll be releasing releasing sometime soon. But she is huge in the community, and when it comes to like feeding the homeless and stuff like that, like yeah, we yeah. We actually have a uh Thanksgiving brunch at church. Like on Thanksgiving Day, we're gonna be feeding the homeless and stuff like that. So it's gonna be nice. It'll be great to get back to them and help them out.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:25

But yeah, the group, man, it's uh it's so we have correlation of groups. So we have on Monday nights, we have the men's side. All right, and then the women's I believe the I could be wrong, but I believe the name of it is Called and Courageous. Okay, and what time? 6 p.m. Okay. The men's same thing, 6 p.m.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

When volleyball's over, I'd probably be able to come check you out. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please do, man. We'd love to have you. Thank you. Um, I mean, man, it's just it's just a group of men that we've all lived of the world and for the world for years and years. And God calls to be something greater for him. And I mean, I can't tell you probably 10 plus, maybe more men in that circle on a Monday night got down on their knees and gave their life to Christ right there. Powerful.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:21

I'm not surprised, brother. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

And then so once a month, we just added this a couple months ago. We have what we call word drop. It's like our sermon series. So we have the men and then the women Monday night and Tuesday night. Well, the word drop happens on Monday night, but it's for everybody. Men, man, woman, child, all of it. All the kids stay out. There's a couple adults that rotate through, stand outside with the kids, make sure they're good. Okay, I'm glad you mentioned that because I was gonna ask my brain living with me. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah. My kids are there. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

She'll love that old Aurora, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:55

It's it's it's very kid, it's family-oriented. That's the whole purpose of it. And like, for example, like for the women, all right, and I've told a couple men this, okay. If you want to, if like for the women to come, say you got a kid or two or three, right? Come hang out at my house. I got my kids, you got your kids, we kick it, kids play, it's all great. Right. So, um, and they're like on Monday nights and Tuesday nights both. If you need it, if man comes or woman comes, say it's single dad, single mom, there's childcare there too. Um one of the guys in the group, he always brings his daughter, she's 18. Another guy's got a 14-year-old daughter, I think, is. Yeah. I think she's 14, they watch the kids. Ain't nothing gonna happen to them. They're in good hands. So we try to take out because life be life in, man. I mean, and sometimes it just works out your situation. You don't have people to help you. It the purpose of this is to create a community of and trust.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:58

I was gonna say trust is big. Yeah. Yeah. With I I I totally trust you.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:02

You know what I mean? And I'm sure that all of your, you know, present and past customers do as well because of what you basically, you know, you listed everything that y'all do, going above, far beyond above and beyond. Yeah. So trust is huge, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:17

It is. I mean, and this group is sp I can't really speak to the women's side. I can only speak to the men's side. The purpose of this is every day, most men, and I can't, I'm sure there's some exceptions, so I'm gonna say most men. But most men, when we go out into the world every day, we get beat up. Every day, all day. The world's not designed for us to succeed. We have to break those chains and get through those barriers. And the purpose of this group is so you have a place you can come to when you can't talk to nobody else. Obviously, there's God first. Right. But in this secular world, if there's nobody else you can talk to about whatever it is, you come here. You lay it all out. There's no judgment, it's just encouragement. And it's designed for people that like us that we want to we want to make a change, but we're not just not sure how to do it yet. Or maybe you have a maybe you've been picking up your Bible, maybe you've been feeling that call to your heart from the Lord, whatever it may be. Maybe you don't know the Lord at all. You can come in here and surround yourself with men that live a godly lifestyle, even though we struggle. That's the biggest part that I tell uh tell everybody is coming to God doesn't mean you get clean, you stop doing all the things you used to do, none of that stuff. God works from the inside out first. Gotta change your heart first. Once he changes your heart, then he changes your mind, then he changes your life. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

And the enemy doesn't like that. So you have to be vigilant. That's when he's gonna come like tenfold for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:56

Yeah. I mean, it says in the Bible that the devil prowls like a lion looking to seek and devour. It tells you everything you need to know. It's a cute little catchphrase. One of our members, uh Eric, uh Eric Hawkins. Uh, Bible, you do you know what the Bible stands for? The acronym of it? Uh I forgot. Basic instructions before leaving earth. Earth, yeah, that's right. Okay. Or something like that. I didn't know it back in the day. Some people say biblical instructions before leaving earth. Kind of a wordplay there. Yeah. But I mean, like I said, the the the point of it is like, so we do we don't just come sit in the building and talk. We go and do stuff too. Like this year we did father-daughter dance. It was cool, man. It was it was I think one of maybe two or three times I've ever taken that that amount of time. Because like earlier we was talking about being a good father. Right. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I don't blame my father or my mother, but I didn't grow up in a household that was lovey dudly cuddly. Fighting and screaming and hollering, I kind of thought that was normal until I was like 13. I went to my buddy's house and was like, it's quiet around here. Like, we don't have to fight. There's no screaming, there's no hollering. Like, it's weird. They they love each other. This is weird, you know. But being very intentional with our time to our daughters, because I do think that being a girl dad, I never truly understood until the last couple years how important it is a father's role in his daughter's life. I never really grasped it. Um, but what we did was we we decided to play games for whatever it is they wanted it to do, right? Yeah. All right. We cooked them food. Now it's chicken fingers, because most of the kids are from like four to twelve, except for a couple that were 17, 18, but most of them was at 4 to 12 range. We took a poll. Everybody wanted chicken fingers. I mean, it's just kids, you know? So we did chicken fingers, we did um some chicken alfredo for us, and then so one by one, we brought our daughters up into the front in front of everybody and gave them affirmations and reinforcements. And then we did one-on-one where we sit down and those things we talked about in front of everybody, we elaborated and further encouraged it for that. For our sons, all right? We did Father Sunday, same thing. We was at the building, we got something to eat, we did that encouragement, and then we took them to a uh Charlotte Knights game. So it was fun. And then we did date night where no kids were involved. It was just the husbands honoring the wives and prepared them a meal, we did affirmations, we did dancing, um, it was great. We did some praise and worship among all that with all three of the events. I mean, it's it's a beautiful thing that this community has come together and built.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:04

I have to say this. Um thank you first and foremost with what you got going on. And um I understand if you're not looking for your construction business to grow, but that man's group, what you got going on with that, that's that's the Lord. And he's gonna grow. That's gonna take off. Oh, it is. And we got a game Monday coming up, then the Monday after that. And then I'm gonna try to make it like I'm gonna I'm gonna we'll talk afterwards. I'm gonna check my calendar and boom. I don't think I got nothing going on that Monday. Six o'clock?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:34

Yeah, yeah. That's the reason you see me kind of bouncing every other game. Because I'll go to the men's group and then I go see Aurora, then uh bounce back and forth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:44

I understand that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:45

Because for me, man, like that that men's group is paramount for me. Like what I figured post like past my addiction and recovery, what I figured is figured out about me is if I don't surround myself in the right place, I find myself in the wrong place.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:00

Right, quit.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:01

Yeah, like that, it's done.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:03

They could split.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:04

Yeah. And I mean, for me, like so Monday nights, I have men's ministry, the the group, and then Tuesday night, I keep the kids, so my wife and mom can go over there. There's usually a dad or two that comes to the house. We chill, let the kids play, have a good time. We kind of have our own little side Bible study too. Wednesday nights, my church, we have Bible study. Thursdays, just pretty chill, so it's Friday. Saturday, so my church, Faith Family Christian Center. If you need a church to come to, please come on out. Uh Homestead Road. I don't remember the numbers for the address, but I can get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:40

Um Google it.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:42

Yeah, Faith Family Christian Center. It's Homestead. And uh so we have the homeless ministry there as well. So twice a month we feed homeless out there. Same place we feed for busting heads. Okay. So three weekends a month on Saturday from 11 to roughly 1.30, we're feeding the homeless. Like I say, I mean, it's not just we take it kind of above and beyond the men's group does. Um, we physically serve these people food. Right. They don't come get it. We serve them food, ketchup, hot sauce, salt, pepper, whatever it is. We give them a word before, and then when they eat, once kind of you can kind of watch the crowd, once most people are sitting down and they're done eating, um, then we go sit down and talk to them. I mean, it's amazing. They're not just homeless, they're people. And so many people forget that. Sure, they may have a little stench to them, but so would me and you if we didn't take a shower for three or four days. Right. And a lot of them, something simple. Parent, parent, kid, whatever it is, um had something medical, they took time off, lost a job, couldn't get a new one, lost their house, lost the house, lost the kids, lost the car. It was just a series of unfortunate events. And some of them just flat out tell you, hey, I got hooked on hair once I lost everything I had.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:06

Bro, and it could have happened to me or you or anybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:08

Yeah. I mean, I tell everybody, we're all a couple paychecks away from being homeless. Especially in today's economy.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:16

Like, no, that's facts. Like, I mean, it's scary.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:18

Like, just as a man of your house, if you weren't able to make make your money for a month or two or three, whatever it is, where would you be? I know where I'd be, probably at the homeless shelter, to tell you the truth. I mean, that's just how it works. We're all that close. And you can make what at the time seems like the best decision for your situation. In hindsight, everything's 2020. You would have done it different, whatever it is. But most of them, 95% of the people we encounter at the homeless ministry, they're very self-aware. Very. They know exactly what they did to get them where they are. Some of it was out of their control. I mean, I met young men there last time. We fed last Saturday. 20 years old. Graduated high school. Nice family, lives in the suburbs, man. Like, nothing wrong with it. But you you would you look at the kid, you wouldn't think he's homeless at all. Very well taken care of. He just didn't want to work, flat out. I mean, he just told me, sitting right there as we're eating a meal, man. He said, Man, I'm lazy. I don't want to work. He said, Man, my folks, keep me out. He said, My dad told me he had two choices go to college or go to work. He said, No, I got a third one. I just leave. He's mending that relationship with his parents now.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:38

Well, you know, thoughts and blessings to him. Absolutely. And to them building that relationship.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:43

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, and like, and that's one thing that he's been trying to work on is he's been asking us a lot of questions when we go out there with the church or busting heads of like, because he hears our stories. Most of the men that are in this group with us, we don't have a lot of money. 90% of us, there's a couple people that are older, retired, and we're smart with their money, but most of us are still kind of a little bit better than paycheck to paycheck or paycheck to paycheck. And they when we sit down and we talk, when we get that, we break that that assumptions out of it, where they think, oh, you know, they're just coming out here to feel good about themselves. No, man. I mean, I got$238 in my checking account right now. I'm here feeding you though. The Lord's gonna provide. When he do it, I mean, he does it every time on time. I mean, and and that's the thing, is like just getting that that personal aspect to sit down and sit there and talk to these men and say, hey man, 11 years ago, I didn't have nothing. I was homeless. Didn't have a wife, didn't have kids, didn't have business, didn't have a car, barely had a job. I worked at a job 70, 80 hours a week to spend it all on things going up my nose. I don't know if we can say that on here. Fine. Okay, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:00

This is real life, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:01

Well, I didn't know. But I mean, I I did. I mean, I battled a cocaine addiction for years, man, almost five years. For four years, it went, it was great. It wasn't, I didn't think it was an addiction. And then just what seemed like overnight, it took a hold of me. And it didn't want to let go. I mean, I was talking to a guy and he looked at me, he said, So you've been where I am? I said, Yeah, dude. I've been there. So I know what you're I know what you're going through. And I mean, as an addict, addicts no addicts. Somebody can get up and talk about whatever their struggle was, their story was, but you can always tell, you know. And I was talking to him and he said, Man, that gives me a lot of hope. I mean, I was talking, that wasn't just me, it was two other brothers there too. We're sitting there talking about this and giving breathing breathing life into this man. And he said, Man, I never knew that. He said, I wouldn't look at you now and be able to tell that you know what I'm going through. I said, Yeah, dude. Me and both all three of us, we do. We know exactly what you're going through. We've been where you've been, and there is a better way. There's there's life on the other side of addiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:04

Yeah, and um what's the name of your church again?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:07

Faith Family Christian Center.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:09

And where's it located? I know you don't know the street and uh you don't know the actual numbers.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:13

3483, that's it. 3483 Homestead Road. Where's Homestead Road at? Behind the air, literally the road on the backside of the airport. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:20

Well, if you're dealing with addiction and all that kind of stuff, man, go check out his church. Um, if you're on the other side of town, come over to Solo, Sanctuary of Life Outreach. We love to have you. We're gonna get you right. Um, because I mean it's a village, so just join the village. You can't be out there alone, sitting there suffering and going through those internal battles and struggles. It's it's it's it's death. So if you want the life, holler at me at him. Seriously. Yeah, seriously. Because time is of the essence, and before you know it, like you said, it was just like that, right? Yeah, it woke up and how much time it passed, like yeah, it can happen. Yeah, I've had my my issues and struggles in the past as well, brother. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And that's that's a that's a terrible one, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:04

Uh yeah. I mean, and like one thing that that so like in the Bible it speaks of be of a sober mind, right? Mm-hmm. It was one of these things that it's one of these things that the Lord revealed to me was for the longest time until I got into my word, I thought when it said be of a sober mind, I thought it was talking about don't do drugs, you know, don't drink, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:27

And and that's I think I think alcohol is probably along those lines, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:32

Yeah. But what it also means, what the Lord showed me, was things that vanity. Don't be vain about yourself, don't be envious, be of a sober mind. And when you look up one thing that so through my church, I've been going to I've been getting my minister's license for the state of South Carolina. One of the big things I've learned is how to decipher the Bible. It's called decipher ship. And what it does is it breaks it down to the words, not the not the root of the word that we use it for, but what it was used for then. Like sobriety, it's not sobriety, but sober then. That there wasn't an affliction of alcohol or drugs back then. They had it, but the word sober back then meant being free of the devil's challenges. Oh so like being envious of your neighbor, being greedy, things of that world when that word was used then. It won't get me wrong, it it it's it it was synonymous with with drugs and alcohol today, too, sure. But it what it really meant was those things of the Ten Commandments. Don't keep those things in your heart.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:47

Right. And with the alcohol thing, they didn't have like liquor back then, they didn't have distilleries back back then, so it was just like wine or whatever else they put with the wine. But my point is like what I learned from my personal experience, I ain't speaking for nobody else, but uh, you know, drinking alcohol definitely hindered my relationship with Christ. And with that being said, my relationship with myself and also with all of my loved ones. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:14

One thing that that like uh everybody's got a different uh idea on therapy. I wasn't a therapy kind of guy till three years ago. Um now my therapist is very biblically centered, so it's a little different. But um what I learned was if like emotions. When I was a kid, I wasn't taught how to process or communicate emotions. So for me, it could as a man it came out when I got older as just anger. Right. When I was scared, I wasn't scared. Oh, I was, but I didn't know how to communicate that. I didn't know how to feel that to differentiate those emotions. So it just came out as anger. I'm mad. Well, if I was sad, I was still. If I if somebody hurt my feelings or uh I didn't like the way somebody said it, instead of processing it like a grown adult, it just all turned to anger. And for me, what I've what I realized was most of us have a very unhealed child in us, and we're we're gonna continue to pass those traumas to our children and our wives and our husbands, whatever it is, until you can heal those parts of the child from when you were a child. That's that's what I've been working on the last two years, so that I don't pass all of this negativity and this trauma to my children.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:39

I'm glad you said that. Hey, I was I had a uh I'm big on therapy too. I had a therapy session last uh Wednesday, I believe it was, and we we tapped into childhood trauma, and he said, You should write a book. He said, he was telling me I should write a book. A couple people have told me that, but hearing it from my therapist, I was like, wow. It's kind of tricky though, you know. It is. You don't really want to put your family out there like that because it's a lot of personal stuff. So I don't know if I'm gonna I don't know about all that, bro. I mean, I'm I am gonna write a book, but as far as some certain things, I'm not gonna maybe I should do uh fiction. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:16

That sounds like a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:17

And do it like in a way of storytelling. Yeah. I think they might be my uh niche, man, my my lane, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:22

That'd be a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:23

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:24

That way you get the point across. Right. And like because like with my family, like I mean, I said earlier, like I don't blame my parents. Like they did what they thought was best. I I'm don't I don't blame them for it because if they because so long, for so long, I wondered, man, why did why did I grow up so different so different? Um, why did I have to go through all these things? Because I I was 14, 15 years old dealing with stuff that a lot of 25-year-olds at that time weren't dealing with. It's because of all this comeback around for right now. For the new me, the me that seeks Christ and that found Christ, all these things I dealt with is so that I can go sit and look people like you in the eye and everybody else and say, hey man, I've been there. I know what you're going through, and I got past it. I got through it. And it was and it wasn't me, it was God Himself. It is. He came into my life and he took these things from me. And I can't, in good conscience, if I hadn't gone through those things, sit here and tell you that. Sit here and tell the listeners this that God can get you through it. If he got you to it, he'll get you through it.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

Bruh, like I'm yeah, I'm living, I'm a living representation of that, to say the least. It's powerful. And I'm glad you touched on that earlier about like raising our kids and having conversations with them and just looking back, saying, hey, I wasn't ever like sat down and talked to about this.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:52

Like, yeah, we have to teach them. Yeah. That's the main thing of being a parent is to teach them, learning from our mistakes, reflecting on what we've done, what we did, and seeing those patterns in them. And it's funny to me, I'm wondering if this has ever happened to you where like one of your kids or like do something bad and you're a little mad about it, but then you look at them and you're just like, that's just me all over again. Like you literally see yourself in their face, and you're like, I was the same exact way, then I just like laugh it off, like whatever. I'm you know, I talk to her, whatever if it's something like serious, but some usually I just be like, that's just me all over again. Like, quick little conversation, you know not to do that again. Okay, okay, we're good. Keep it moving.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:31

Yeah. I say I'm raising myself. It is especially my son. Like, and my son was one of the one of the most important things, one of the most important reasons. My son and my daughter both. Um, it's similar to a couple other people that I know, but I didn't want to go to church. My wife and my mom, my kids were going to church at faith family. I didn't want to go. What I found later was deep rooted in lack of accountability, but I was just blaming all the other things, you know. I just didn't want to go. Yeah. And my son was, my son at the time was four. He said, Well, I don't want to go to church today. My wife said, Well, why not? Well, daddy doesn't have to go. Mm-mm. Nope. I got up, got my clothes on, said, No, we're going to church. I went out of pure obligation to show, because I wasn't going to be the one, don't get me wrong, I didn't want to, at that time, I didn't want to have a relationship. I don't want to be held accountable for myself, from God, but I wasn't going to hinder my child. I wasn't going to give him an excuse. So I went to church out of obligation for many weeks. And then the Lord started working on me. Little by little, little by little. And now, I mean, I'm the men's ministry director at my church. I'm a part of Bustin' Heads. I mean, I've got another ministry, uh, Pastor James Sugar. Uh, he has a charity called Rescuing Souls. Uh, he works for Pathways Community Center over there, the um Havens Men's Shelter. Um, and what he does is he can this man goes all over the world all over the U.S. Uh he was it he was in Washington four or five weeks ago. He preached in front of them all of America, the White House, the Pentagon, all that, um, preaching the gospel of God to hundreds of thousands of people. Massive movement up there. And um, so what we do is it's him, it's not me. It's his ministry. I just help him out with it. But there's some places, some rehabs that the homeless ministry, the homeless men that he talks to and and talks with every day, if they want that change, we take them up there. Take them to Tennessee.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:40

They gotta want that change.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:41

They got to. And I mean he and that's that's what he does is he he mentors them for a little while to see if they truly want that change. Because this this place in Tennessee, it is life changing. There are I've talked with men that are still up there that went there three years ago. For a 12-month rehab program. 12 months. That's all in their minds. They just had to get through the 12 months. 36, 38, 40 months later, they're still living on the property. They have productive relationships with ex-wives or children, whatever it may be. They work, they have vehicles. They're a productive member of society. They've been given the chance for an entire new life, whether they be 20 or 60. I met a man a couple weeks ago we went up there. Was a 52-year-old or 52-year alcoholic. He was 66 years old when he went into rehab. 66. And he wanted a change. Children had wrote him off. Everybody in his family has wrote it off. Lived local right here in Rock Hill his whole life. He's now the manager of a goodwill store up there. Got his life together, don't drink anymore. Find him a little lady friend up there. They they kind of court, so to speak. More of a companionship thing, but he's he was able to turn his life around. And in that and everything there is spiritually led. It's all biblically led. They they help you find yourself in Christ. And then let God do his work.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:19

Stories like that is why I'm yeah, we're sitting here right now, man. Like wow. Um what's one thing about your job that most people don't realize or appreciate?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:34

The amount of time goes into it. The customers that know me, they know different. But prospective customers or people from the outside, they just see I walk around and I just pull up to this job site, you know, pull up over here, I go home. If that was all it was, I I'd be beyond grateful for it. But I mean, there's a lot of times, perfect example. Last night, I was dealing with a last-minute issue with a client. I was late to my own daughter's volleyball game. I missed the whole first set. I didn't get there till the first point of the second set. It's things like that that from the outside, it may look like a nine to five or seven to three or whatever, but the amount of time that goes into the back end of this business is immense and the stress that comes with it because I try to provide each and every client with such a high level that it I challenge myself more and more each job.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:34

And you're sacrificing additional time to get to know these people. Yeah. And to give them like a gift, so to speak. Yeah. In a way, so that's that's huge. Um now it could be a mistake, a failure, or like some type of surprising success, but like what has been the biggest lesson that you've learned throughout your whole journey? That could be personal business, just life stuff, but have you gonna answer it?

SPEAKER_00 1:30:59

I think for the biggest lesson is I think it's correlation of business and personal, is um just don't assume. Always ask questions. Um I have I have such a hard time with that to this.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:13

Dang, I don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:15

My mind, my brain gets to going like it's what we call storytelling in the group in the men's ministry. Like, for example, you just sitting in a restaurant, you're just looking across the way at a guy. Scientifically and statistically, within 12 seconds of meeting a stranger, you've already judged him. Just human nature. That's just how it is. As much as we may not try to or want to, it subconsciously, we've judged that person based on appearances, candor, the way they speak, whatever it is. Um not judging people by the don't judge a book by its cover. Right. That that thing that has the correlation of business and personal is um just not judging a book by its cover because there's so much you miss of the content inside that person or that job, whatever it may be, that you unless you remain humble about everything you do, you can miss there's so many opportunities. God God opens so many doors, but he can only open the door. He can't force you to walk in. You have free will, you can do what you want. But he opened so many doors, and being obedient is so important to follow him. And without remaining humble and leading with your heart and being Christ-like, you'll miss out on so many opportunities. And not just financially, just to be able to sit down and genuinely this conversation, this podcast. I didn't know who you were. Just say, hey man, cool. I love the idea. Let's sit down, let's talk. I mean, I think this is gonna be something great that me and you'll continue to do. Not necessarily the podcast, but get to know one another.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:57

Yeah, I'm I'm coming to the men's group.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:59

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, and those little things, not judging a book by its cover, or one of the big things I learned that goes in line with that is you don't decide who gets to bless you. You get blessings from people you never thought. You can't block your blessings just because it comes in the vessel that you don't want. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:21

That's powerful what you just said, man. Right, you're right. Um can I can I let me say something real quick about like the don't judge a book by its cover? Um, I had gone to see a friend of mine uh sing and play guitar. Shout out to uh Annela Pratt, love you. Now, during her show, uh, it was up at Hobos in Fort Mill.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:42

I went by myself, and um, I was just you know, just taking it all in. I hadn't seen her in a while, and like had a good conversation with her, and I was very thankful for the time that we had to actually talk. But like she was performing, and there was a guy that was like dancing around, kind of you know, up in her face, and then like I'm like skeptical about okay, I don't I gotta make sure he's not gonna like try to take the money out of the pot. Like, you know what I mean? Then I got to thinking, well, like I honestly I kind of want to get up there and dance myself. And I'm like, this guy could be a veteran, yeah. Or maybe just maybe it's something's wrong with me for even having this conversation in my own head, making these assumptions.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:22

Yeah, that storytelling.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:25

So I talked to her about that, but I did I texted her and I was like, hey, if I'm on site, whenever you're performing, I am going to be your private security. I'm not taking up for an answer, yeah, and uh zero compensation required, yeah, and that's facts. Yeah, what up? You gotta take care of the people, but yeah, man. So just making assumptions and judging people, man, is like I like uh it's a struggle sometimes, man. Just getting back to that old way of thinking. But but at the same time, I'm on my P's and Q's, yeah, regardless. Yeah. Um, you know, just the experiences that I've been through, put in very bad situations, being very um, what's the word, when you're naive, you're you I mean, when you're younger, you don't really know the world. Your parents are saying, Don't do this, don't do that. But at the end of the day, they gotta let you make your own mistakes so you can hopefully learn from them sooner rather than then later. So back to like being put in bad situations. So yeah, and no, given that I do jujitsu and like now have a daughter, so like I don't I do not claim to be a tough guy, I'm not a gangster. I was called soft in high school. I did not like to fight. I backed down from a couple fights because I didn't want to. But um, yeah, I gotta get home to my baby girl. So yeah. Um I tell everybody, I I'm uh it's my my point is I don't want no problems with nobody. Yeah, but you have you still have to be on your P's and Q's. You gotta be prepared. Don't don't don't judge nobody and uh just please just do what you do, I'm gonna do what I do.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:54

I tell everybody I die for my kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:57

And that might mean you too. I scare myself sometimes, bro. Like I'm just please don't, just don't, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:04

Like, and talking about being a girl, daddy. Whoever. Like we've talked about it a lot in the group. Like, because I'd say probably three-quarters of us in the group have daughters. And synonymously, all of us have the same fear. Our daughter meeting us.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:19

Hey man.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:20

You know what I'm saying? Like us as those 17, 18, 22-year-old men, you know what I'm saying? It is, and that's why like it's just so important to to spend that one-on-one time with your with your daughter so she can truly get to because you need to be able to to date your daughter. And and some people have this weird, like um, like disincestual thing. Like, they're like, what do you mean you date your daughter? You caught her, you take her out, you treat her like respect and love. Yeah, because what you show her is what she's gonna expect. Yeah, and for the longest time, for me, with my daughter being the oldest, she took the brunt of me being gone a lot. Because with my old the company I used to work for, I traveled a lot and I worked a lot hours, 80, 90 hours a week. And unfortunately, first five years of her life, I wasn't around a lot. I had most of the big occasions, birthdays, Christmases, you know, a couple weekends, I was there. But even when I was there, I was so tired, man. I couldn't give her that full attention like I needed to. That's the reason that like I made I've made it so adamant, like with this volleyball thing. I told you the other day at practice or game, whatever it was, how I came about uh getting her into volleyball, like how that came about. I'd been praying to the Lord, hey, I want to spend more time with my kids. And for me, like that was being in the house more. You know, she's all about arts and crafts. She draws. I am a 35-year-old grown man and can barely draw a stick figure. This child can can draw some amazing things to be 10 years old. So I for me in my head, when I'm asking for these blessings, I already know what it's gonna look like. Well, it didn't come with what I thought it did. It came with being my son's football coach. And it came to coming to my daughter's volleyball games, meeting you, but being there. And I didn't realize until it was right after, it was about two weeks after we signed them both up for sports. My my pastor, his Sunday morning service was about you don't get to pick what your blessings look like. His analogy was man prayed for a Mustang, right? Years and years and years. Thought God gave up on him. Next morning, must a horse walked into walked into his yard. He prayed for a Mustang and he got one, just not what he thought. He was praying for a car, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:53

Yeah. And so, like, I that's how it came about with getting more locked in on my daughter was spending more time with her. Being intentional. There is in our in the Bust and Heads group, we are intentional about being intentional. That's one thing we focus a lot on. It's kind of a wordplay, like you'll say something, and one of the other brothers will be like, I see you being intentional. Or you'll say the word and they'll get a little wordplay back on it. But um, it is, it's important to get to know truly get to know your daughter and have that line of communication open. Yep. Because if your daughter don't trust you, she's gonna find another man that she thinks she can trust. Yep. And I don't want her to do that. I don't want my daughter running into me when I was 17, 18, 19, 22. Yeah. And unfortunately, I do think that uh the Lord has a sense of humor. And I think that uh he's gonna add some more graze to my beard and my head by letting her run into me. I think it's gonna happen. She's gonna run into some some no-good dudes, but I'm gonna be there for her, you know. I can try to protect her as long as I can, but I gotta let her make those mistakes on her own. But you gotta be there with you gotta be there for to show that unconditional love.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:13

Bro, I got a whole different like avenue I'm gonna take with this. Like, I'm not gonna allow Lyric to date until she gets her blue belt in jujitsu.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:21

There you go. Um, it's actually because of your daughter that Nikki um Aurora is talking about doing something. She was talking about karate, but I figure it came from Lyric.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:33

Maybe, I don't know. Like Lyric, she did jujitsu for a while, she's not doing it now. I want her to do it, but um that's I'm serious. Like, because along the way, I'm gonna teach her certain things so she'll know how to protect herself.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:45

Well, tell you another thing it does is it's self-confidence.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:48

Yeah, it brings it up because you're talking about like jujitsu?

SPEAKER_00 1:40:51

Well, just karate, jujitsu, whatever it is, it brings up stuff that it does, brother. Yeah, it did. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it it it raises that self-confidence, and I mean there's there's a lot to be said for that. Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:04

So shout out to Coach Joey Dean and the uh Carolina family, Jiu Jitsu family. Yeah, yeah, we had a tournament, man. I didn't compete, I don't compete currently, but um we had a few people get gold and so nice. So congratulations to everybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:21

Local, like a local competition thing, or it was in Hickory, North Carolina.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:25

Oh, nice. About an hour and 22 minutes away. Yeah, but we was there for like six hours, me and my cousin. Shout out to Kiki, um, Key Sheriff Chisholm. Um we was there for six hours and it didn't feel like six hours at all. It felt like we were there for like a couple hours. Like for real. It was fun, man. And yeah, I'm gonna tell you what's awesome about it. Is I was watching because the kids went on first. It was like girls, girls versus girls. It was some girls versus boys, and I saw one particular situation where this girl put this other this little boy in like a um a triangle. And you know, I love the triangle. I'm trying to master that a little bit, but um, I'm learning, like watching her, what she does, like there's certain steps that you gotta take. And there's like one certain step. I'm like, okay, that's coming up. And she did it, and she locked it in. And yeah, like learning from kids. Like I said in my podcast with Troy Harris, shout to Troy, like what we do is transcend generations. I do have I have zero pride in the way of learning from anybody.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:22

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:42:23

There's so much my kids have taught me that I can never repay them. Right. That I mean, the moment you start to think that you can't learn, especially from a child, the Bible speaks so much of having a childlike faith because the world hasn't the world hasn't gotten to you, so so to speak, when you're a child, but there's so much you can learn from children, other men, other women, but specifically children. Like you, my children have taught me so much more than I think I'll probably ever teach them. I mean, and just the fact of it I don't care how bad your day's been, if you have children and you walk into the house and they just come running screaming, daddy, daddy, daddy, man, I don't care how bad of a day you had, it just it all melts away. It does. It it just no matter how many hours you worked, how much money you did made, you didn't make, you don't have, man, all of that in that instance is gone. Nothing else matters but that. And that for me, I I used to take stuff like that for granted. I I won't ever take it for granted now. Don't get me wrong, do my children get on my nerves? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:35

But just like the incident I told you about today when I first come in. It's it's instances like that that my children getting on my nerves slaps me in the face of reality of at least I have my children. This man has buried three children. You know, I mean, it it it magnifies me of realizing how minimal my problems are that I'm complaining about when I hear stories like that. It's a slap back to reality. What that man would give to have all three of his children still on this earth and aggravating him the way I'm complaining about mine, you know? I mean That's why I try not to complain. I I'm I try so hard. Every once in a while, it happens, but I try to be so grateful for what I have because I mean there was an audio floating around TikTok for a while, like it was a pastor's audio from uh Tennessee. That husband you're complaining about, somebody just buried him. That wife you complaining about, somebody just buried him. That child you complained about, somebody just buried him. And I mean, when we get when we stay so focused on our little bubble, you seem you can seem to forget how big and nasty the world is and how fast it can take it from you.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:59

Man, look, my heart for real goes out to your friend that lost his child. Yeah. You say third child?

SPEAKER_00 1:45:05

Third.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:06

I just wow, man. Um all three as adults. Yeah, I had kind of touched on this on my last podcast, so I don't want to go into too much detail, but like, you know, I know some people that have lost their kids. And um, I want everybody else just to listen up when I say this. Be very careful what you say to them about their grieving process. And I, for one, I'm very careful with my words, especially now since I do a podcast. But like, I can't tell you that I understand what you're going through if I haven't sat in that same abyss and felt the same loss. And even if I did, I probably still can't say I understand. So it's just, I'm just saying it's the semantics, but people gotta, I think people need to be careful on what they say to certain people under certain circumstances. Yeah, because your words are very powerful. And but they needed you just to be there just to support them. And what they don't need you to say, I understand what you're saying, because that you don't.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:57

You don't. You unless it's coming from somebody who's also lost a child, right? You can't you have the relationship with them. Yeah, and even then, like what you just said, like the way you may go through that process of grieving for you, it's gonna be different for me, different for him, different for her. Don't don't come at it as well, why are you doing that? You don't know what it's like. Like, I mean, I've known people, whether it be husbands, wives, children, some people, I I mean, I've had people, I've got a friend of the family that she lost her husband. It was four years later. I'm not gonna say she moved on, but she found someone else. And a lot of her family's like, Well, how did you do that? Do you want to be stuck miserable in life alone? I I I I wouldn't. And they're judging her because she found somebody else. She decided to go forward. And I and I personally know her husband. I know it, I knew him for 16 years. The man, if he was alive right now, would tell her, move on.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:03

Who be happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:05

Who is anybody? Who has how can anybody even come out their mouth sideways to say anything to somebody to stop their happiness? Mm-hmm. Like that's that's not the the side that we're fighting for, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:18

Yeah, oh yeah. But I mean, like what you said with words, people forget the power of words so often. And I say people, I'm people. I'm people, yeah. Right, right. So, but I've tried to be much more intentional about what I say and the weight that it carries. Because when you say a word, you need to back that word or words or sentences with action. Right. And know that people are gonna be counting the words you say and what you say and waiting for that action. And if you can't back it up, don't say it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:51

I'm gonna tell you this. I'm more dependable right now at this very moment in my life than I have ever been before. Right? I'm more dependable, but I I I don't make promises. Because I can't like being careful with your words because you like you said, life be life. And so if I make a promise, it's gonna eat at me if something comes up, like I gotta go do something for my daughter, so I can't be there for that person. Yeah, that's me making that promise, and that promise is gonna get broken. So I don't like literally, I don't make I don't make promises. I just say I'll try my best. I try my best. Yeah, I don't even say I guarantee you because I think the definition, the definition of a promise is the guarantee that you would do something. So yeah, I try my best.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:28

And I tell you another thing, like so kind of the one of the uh founding reasons for starting the men's group is do you know what the definition of insanity is?

SPEAKER_01 1:48:39

I mean, there's a couple definitions, but I'm gonna go ahead and get us a uh a go. Is it the one where it's like uh you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?

SPEAKER_00 1:48:48

Yeah. Now that's kind of that's not the actual Webster's. Right. That's kind of the layman's uh take on it. But um Is that not what you were asking for? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, kind of that layman's term. Gotcha, gotcha. Um, and that's kind of one of the like one of the founding things is we as men, we want to make that change, but you still stay in that same circle doing that same thing over and over, but you expect change. This puts you into a place where you surround yourself with different men, driven men that want to be men of God, to leave their houses and to be brothers in Christ. And that's what it's for. So I got something to show you.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:31

Yeah, that's surrendering, man. Um I feel like a little kid sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:35

So I can't let you hold it. So this is so this is a challenge coin, as we call it, as part of the group. When you come in, when you come in in a couple Mondays, you'll get one. Okay. All right. So on the back of it, it's got on the front, it's got um put on the whole armor of God. On the back of it, it explains what each part of the armor is. Uh it's a Ephesians 6 11, I believe it is, in the Bible. And it's the breast, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith. It goes through all the parts. Um but so in in the military, they have what they call cat challenge coins. All right. And the basis of it is we as just enlisted personnel, you find an officer, an enlisted officer, whether it be the higher ranking, the better. But you go get their coin from them. So what that coin looks like is I carry one with me. So that is I can show you this one. So you can hold it. Yeah. Um, that's a Coast Guard. Now, if you look on both sides of it, it'll have the insignia. So that's his unit. All right. Now with Coast Guard rankings, he's a sergeant.

unknown 1:50:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:50:57

So if we were, if we were all enlisted in the military, right? That's a sergeant officer's coin. All right. So we would be at a bar. Somebody would say, hey, challenge, pull the coin out. Whoever has the highest ranking officer, it's not them, but it's just a coin that represents the highest ranking officer, they drink for free. The one that has the lowest pays everybody else's tab. Wow. So um that's where this coin spins from.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:28

I like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:29

Yeah. And the tradition is it has to be carried in your left front pocket. And the reason I said if if I give it to you, you because I have to maintain possession of it at all times. Even if it's sitting on my dresser, that's cool. But I have to maintain possession. So if I give it to you, I gotta physically give it to you. It's no longer mine.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:51:47

But it's a representation of being a part of this brotherhood. That at any point in time, man will fail you, but God never will. Absolutely. We try not to fail one another, but it will happen. But the biggest part is you have to wear the armor of God. And two is you have a brotherhood standing behind you. I mean, like I say, we're 25 strong. I mean, and we when you need something, we show up and show out for you all the time. So that's the point of it's just a reminder. Like, man, I can't tell you how many times throughout the day I just catch myself over here fidgeting with that coin in my left pocket. Yeah. I never I don't even realize it. Like, I've got we got these little droplets. It's uh lava lamp beads, but they're red. We give them out to all the new members. That's your drop of blood. Yeah. We got little crosses we give out, just little mementos. We get you know little miniature baby Jesus'? Yeah, I got one somewhere. Everybody needs a little Jesus? Yeah. Like I might have left in my other office. We give them out like just those little mementos, put it in your car, put it in your office, whatever it is, just to give you that subtle reminder, whether it's that little cross, whether it's a mustard seed necklace, whatever it is, to always remind you God's there. Man will fail you and man will leave, but God never will. He tells us in the Bible, He will not leave or forsake us, you know, and that empowerment, because I I don't want to get too far on this soapbox here, but I truly believe that one of the devil's main purposes is to disrupt the man. Because the man's the leader of the home, the spiritual leader of the home. His wife is to submit to him. That's where a lot of people a lot of people use that that that text out of context. They say, Oh, well, you're supposed to submit to me. They tell their wives that. But the other half of that text is as the husband submits himself to Christ, that's what they miss is that lack of accountability. But um, like it's I do think that the the youth, the male youth, and specifically, I think the I think the devil targets him at a young age, 14, 15, 16, 17. He starts that indoctrination of the the life of sin, that it's okay. Because you look at people's Instagram, you look at movie stars, you look at people in the music industry, they somewhat glorified. You know? They say that it's okay to live this way. And it's not.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:22

I mean, you're saying somewhat, but no, they do. They do glorify. They really do.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:26

There's some artists, whether it be um country, rap, whatever it is, that that stand on business with their relationship with God. And actors, a lot of athletes, a lot of college athletes I've noticed the last couple years, they stand on business with it with their relationship with God. And it's been powerful. It has. Um there was uh I think it was a Tennessee game, I think it was. After the touchdown, the whole team came over there and knelt and prayed. Right there on national television. It was pretty powerful. But um, I mean, I do. I think that the devil comes specifically after men to disrupt the household. 87% likelihood that if a man, if a father, not just a man, but a father goes to church, the family will follow. 23% for the mother.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:16

So 23 for the woman and how much for the man?

SPEAKER_00 1:55:19

87.

unknown 1:55:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:21

Numbers don't lie.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:23

If if you as a man in your house, you go to church and you start, you turn your life to the Lord, there's an 87% chance your family's gonna follow behind you. I was luckily I'm in the 23 because I didn't I didn't bring Christ into my home. I didn't, my wife didn't. She started going to church long before I did. She started praying for me long before I ever deserved it. I still don't deserve the prayer that the people of these groups that I'm associated with pray for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:56

Yeah, I gotta give my first official shout out to my baby mama. Like, I was having a conversation with her recently. She used to be on me about like getting taking Larry to church and getting her into church. I I was aggravated, bro. Like every yeah, you know, like that's that's how you are back. You know, if you if you're not if you don't have that relationship with Christ, you know, you're gonna look at that as like, uh, you're getting on my nerves. Like, leave me alone, I'll go when I get ready. I'm gonna put a time snap on it. I'll go when I get ready. But um, I was like, nah, you ain't gotta ask her that. Like, well, it's what basically my point is she would ask her, Did you make it to church? Did you make it to church or whatever? But like now, I'm like, yo, I told her, I said you don't have to ask her if she made it, just ask her how she went.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:36

Yeah, because she's going, we going. What did she learn in church?

SPEAKER_01 1:56:38

We do when we're serious, I've said this a couple times, I just got chills again. Like when I surrendered, you know, and I found a church. I went the first day that I attended, uh, joined, and I haven't missed a Sunday since. And I'm I look forward to the Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 1:56:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:53

Matter of fact, we got Bible study tomorrow night, and since we don't have a volleyball game, I'm probably gonna go to Bible study. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:56:59

So there's not many churches that I found out through fellowship with a lot of people, there's not a lot of churches that do Wednesday night Bible service. We've got, I mean, we have probably 30 to 40 people show up every Wednesday. Half of them are not our church members. They come for just a Wednesday night Bible service because there's not a lot of people to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:19

Well, that was since COVID. Yeah. I hadn't really had a like real podcast where we talked about COVID too much. And I mentioned it in like my third one, but uh just like the effects that it had, and like I'm so big on like mental health, especially for the kids, the kiddos that had the mask on in school, like the speech therapy, yeah, progression. Like they uh I'm sure some scientists are doing studies on that, but man, we all know what it is, like as far as it's it's not gonna be, it wasn't it's not gonna be helpful for the kids. No, nobody that had on masks as far as communication purposes and stuff like that. You can't read any facial cues. No, you know what I mean? It's just it's it's this. It's a weird way to live, man. Yeah, it is. But uh, we ain't gotta go down that rabbit hole. That's a deep deep in the murky waters of the abyss.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:08

I'm about to say, man, that gets deep fast. I don't think we both got enough time for that right now. Nah, man, nah.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:14

We'll leave that to the whoever's. Um let me ask you this. How do you maintain balance with all this? Like, especially like you're running in the business, um, you know, you got your kiddos. Like, how do you maintain the balance with all that?

SPEAKER_00 1:58:27

So for me, it's taken a lot of a lot of time and a lot of effort, but I put God first, most important. And then I put my family, then I put my business. To put that business third, it took a lot out of me, a lot of trust. But once I seen that the Lord is gonna shape my life the way he needs it to be, for his kingdom and what's best for me, don't get me wrong, it's still still working on it's work in progress. Right. But overall, putting that business third was the best thing I ever did.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:07

It's like a cheat code. I played all these video video games, man. GTA, you know, Contra.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:13

I'm waiting for GTA 6, by the way. We get all these other things of the world before six.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:17

Let me tell you something, man. I I put my PlayStation up, bro. I think it was possessed. It started cutting on by itself. You know? I'm just gonna leave that there at that. But I don't, I don't, and like this is the only way I can play like the DVDs that I have of DuckTales. Yeah, I grew up on DuckTales. Yeah, like Chippendales Rescue Rangers, and like any movies that I have DVD-wise, it's the only way I can play them, but I'm probably gonna get rid of matter of fact. After this conversation, bro, like for real way I'm feeling, I'm gonna get rid of it today. The PlayStation? Yeah, I'm gonna take it down to the dunk, man.

SPEAKER_00 1:59:47

Need to burn it. No, no, no, no, no. Just to rehab it. Uh so the boys and girls. No, but the boys and girls club in Rock Hill, take it down there for them.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:56

I think it's possessed though. Like, legit, why would I give it to somebody, some kids to play with? I'm dead serious about this. This ain't I'm I'm being dead serious. I've told my friends this. Like, I'm not, this ain't no show where it is a show. There is a televisor. Yeah, but nah, but I'm serious. Uh I don't know. We we can get off that subject, but like, yeah, I'm I'm scared to like not I know God got me, so for me to say I'm scared to like, but still I listen to my intuition on certain things because of the path that I'm walking, I know to trust my gut instinct because it's God. So it gives you that discernment. Yeah, I'm just gonna feel it. You know what I'm saying, bro? Like same. That's you can get caught up in that, bro.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:33

Like, yeah, and you don't realize how fat it'll how fast it'll spiral you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:39

I'm so I'm so thankful that I'm delivered from that, man. No high. Because like I know, I know the the devil is vigilant, man. But it's nice to go see one of my friends sing good music and like not have an alcoholic beverage. I ain't gotta worry about getting pulled up within the D UI, I ain't gotta worry about killing nobody else or getting myself killed or harming anybody else. Or if I get pulled up, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 2:00:58

You know what made me realize I didn't want to be a drunk anymore? What's that? Um, when I started being around people that were, I guess, bigger drunks than me. I don't know how to properly phrase that, but they drank more than me, and I was around them a little more sober, I realized that this sucks. Being around drunks all the time suck.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:19

I don't know how people put up with it, bro.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:21

I don't know how my friends used to put up with me being drunk all the time. Like, I look at it now, I'm like, man, how did you why did and the ones that still here though?

SPEAKER_01 2:01:32

Yeah, bruh, like shout out to y'all, y'all know who y'all is, man. I ain't gotta say no names. Y'all know who y'all are. I love y'all, man. Appreciate y'all.

SPEAKER_00 2:01:39

Yeah. I mean, that's something like I was talking to a friend of mine about uh to my friendships. Yeah. Um, he sent me a study that Harvard done, and uh less than 2% of the people in the world have what they designate as a childhood best friend. Do you have any? Like people that were there for your what they call the 12 and under childhood.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:07

Yeah, shout out to my cousin Tay. I'm so glad and grateful that you're home, bro. Yeah. He's he's he's honestly for real, man. As far as who I like talk to, like almost on a daily basis, and our connection, our brotherhood that we have, he is honestly. I don't want to if I if I piss anybody off or if I miss somebody's name, you know, call me, you got my cell phone number, you know where I live at. But like honestly, as far as like elementary day ones, yeah, like as far as a brother, it would be it would be Tay. Um, I mean, I I still have some relationships with some people that we we talk every once in a while, but like like that right does one. So I'm blind. And he was gone for 11 years. So I'm blessed. He's back now. He was honest, let me say this. I'm sorry. No, you can like he like I've been he was like a piece of my puzzle that was missing while he was gone. You know, he served his time respectfully, and uh he's back, and I'm super duper proud of him for taking the the right path and not going back to the old ways. I'm I'm beyond proud of him, bro. Like I could spontaneously combust right now, bro. Like, but um, yeah, so him one to answer your question. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 2:03:15

Oh, you can get um so I'm blessed. I got three. So two of the guys I mentioned earlier, Q and Robbie, that's that started the Bustin Heads group, and then my buddy Josh, he's getting married this weekend. Um, I've known all three of them for over 25 years. But that core of having as a man, having those friends that you can truly count on, and you've been through the seasons of life with, that is where I keep circling back to the group thing, but that's that's the core of what we're trying to build. And not just for us, for our children. My daughter, obviously, our kids know each other through volleyball, but if they wouldn't have, and you came to the meeting, our kids know each other. So they're able to be around one another and build those friendships and relationships that'll be long lasting. Because most importantly, it's centered through God first.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:07

You know what's strange sometimes is like, yeah, you'll know somebody since you were like 12 or 13, but you'll meet somebody like after them, and your connection with that person that you met on a later date, or whatever. It's so much deeper is deeper than that person, but you don't really have control over that, you know what I mean? It's just kind of like not even funny, but it's kind of I don't know what the words I'm looking for, but it's just something to think about. It's just something it's just something to think about. And when I don't even know if I answered that question correctly because I took it back to elementary school, but yeah, I have other people that I'm in high school that I'm still connected with.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:40

Well, so for they know, but they know who they are, so yeah. But the question, like the this not question, but the survey they made on was from five five years old to twelve years old. Friends you made in that era, are you still Bro five to twelve, I think, is one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:04:59

I mean, for me, like I say, I I'm I'm beyond blessed.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:02

I got three And he my cousin too, so maybe that counts.

SPEAKER_00 2:05:05

Technically, no, but it does count. Settle. Yeah. So, but like, and that's what they talk about, like so few people have that. You go back and look from this the same study they did from they did this study from 1950 to 1980. They did it from 1980 to 2010, then they did it from 10 to 25. It went from 60 something percent, 30 something percent, to less than 3% now. And they were they were using that that as an example of how not personal the world has become. Things don't last anymore. Whether it's the car you buy, the friendships, clothes, whatever it is, nothing is made to last anymore.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:50

So well, we built for it tough, and uh, we are built to last. Is that Carl Hart that's built to last? Or whatever? No, it's well. That is Ford. Well, no, no, Ford is built for it tough. Yeah. So built to last is Ford as well? I don't know. I don't know, it doesn't matter. Um, so that's how you do your balance, and uh I appreciate you for answering that, bro. Like, because that that kind of opened up some stuff in my brain, you know what I mean, to think about. Um how can people connect with you? Like, I mean, you tell them your social media website information and all that if you want, if they want to get in contact with you for like maybe they're interested in turning their life over to Christ, getting a being a part of the men's group, yeah, um, or you know, they need some remodeling or construction type stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:06:39

So if it's construction, anything business related, um www.absolutec-o-n-st group, g-o-up dot com. That's a mouthful I know. Um and then the office is 803-598-8804. Um when you call in, you'll be speaking to Megan. Uh, anything personal as far as something with the Lord, their walk, um addiction, uh getting the men's ministry, uh, you can call my personal number, 843-806-6888. All right.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:17

Hey, bro. Thank you for coming through today. This is the first official episode in my podcast studio.

SPEAKER_00 2:07:23

I'm blessed to be here, man. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 2:07:25

Now, I don't have any of my uh posters or artwork up, but it'll be in due time. Yeah, we'll get there. I thought about scrambling it before you got here. I was like, I'm not gonna stress myself out. I'm gonna fall back and chill. We're gonna make this thing happen because it's about the content anyway. It's not about the aesthetics, but yeah, it will be pretty awesome. Um, but yeah, uh, ladies and gentlemen, thank y'all for listening. Thank you. Be good to each other out, though. Peace and love at Dappen the Hook. Thank you. This has been the Lyrical Miracle LLC production.