Ep 23 Prosthetic Buttholes and Bad Ideas

New Episode! Emma discusses the logistical nightmare an aerialist with diarrhoea and discuss the surprisingly strange world of prosthetic buttholes and merkins. We meet the red-eared slider turtle with sexy spirit fingers, Günter unveils his latest existential poetry and a new cult, and Billie debates the ethics of outsourcing cigarette-butt collection to a highly intelligent workforce of crows.

⚠️ Content warning: contains strong language, experimental poetry, and morally ambiguous bird employment. Listener discretion advised. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

This show is loud, unfiltered, and probably gonna get us into trouble. Enjoy!

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome to Dream Jesus. My name is Gunther. I'm here with the lovely Emma and the beautiful Billy. Good morning.

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Afternoon, evening, good night. What is it? Afternoon. Afternoon. Thank you. One of those. Of course, they could be listening at any time. Well, they could be. They could be.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

And you know, you're catering for all. I am. I like it. It's very inclusive.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Actually, and very Billy. Again. Catering for all. Catering for all. I like that. As long as I don't have to cater for all, because I'm not a good cook.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yeah. Okay. So catering, not the right word.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Well, is it considering on. Considering on? Catering's a good word, but why did catering go from just doing something for all to food? Cater's. To cater. What would the etymology of that word be?

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Yeah, it's gotta be something to do with cate.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

Summoning. Kate. Let us know. Yep, Kate. Kate will know. Yep. Kate will know. Because it's her name. Alright. Welcome, yes, welcome. Good morning, afternoon, evening, good night.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Um we're doing what's the name movie? The True Show.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

I realise that I say good morning again. Where it is actually for us like almost two o'clock, and so it is afternoon. But Welcome! We haven't met because Emma's been um busy, busy girl and then sick. Yes. I said that I have been convalescing like a character from Jane Austen novel. And um Gunter has said. So on the moors. Yeah. Gunter said, Come in off the moors and join us. So I shall. Um, but as a result of brain fatigue uh from in stuff and then illness, I I don't bring much to the table today except uh a gift because uh Billy and Gunther, being the exceptionally generous people they are, wanted to buy Jay a record for his 18th. But I did I vetoed it on the basis that Jay does not care for his belongings. And we were worried that Jay would then just go, Record, okay, thanks, and put their drink on it and use it as a big coaster. Yeah, coaster, yeah. And then but try and put it back in the record player post that and then get like and when we talk record player, we talk Kmart. Kmart, little scratchy record player. So it just was not worth it. Yeah, what so they generously gave um a voucher because he had a milestone birthday. But then I was thinking about your young man who is still dead to me because he has not yet created the website. But despite that, yes, I've I've come I've overcome that. So this this is a a uh mother-son gift. A mother-son gift, and you will be able to match and hopefully make a macabre game out of what I've been doing.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Okay, that sounds very so Gem is handing over a massive big uh.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

We're doing we're doing an unpackaging episode, which is really weird with that video.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

But I'm hoping that you didn't spend Jay's voucher on that. No. Alright. Oh, I'm going in.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

I'm going in. Oh, I'm going in. Can you open the other side? Oh, it's the best thing ever!

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Oh, it's pickleball paddles.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

It's pickleball paddles, except that it's the electric mosquitoes. No, no, no, no, it's not pickleball paddle. It's a zappa! Awesome!

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Small animals.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

So we killed small animals. Oh, that's very sweet. Dempsey, if you actually listen to this podcast, which you don't, uh, you'd be able to say thank you to Emma. But for your birthday, I'll I will put one out for Dempsey and he's. So do you think that's a little bit more?

SPEAKER_01 4:12

360 surround light. Well, it's a it's got a globe in it.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

It's actually a lamp you put down, and then they fly into it, see, and zap.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

Oh, except then you look. But you can then pick up your lamp and then swap it.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

That is exactly, and it turns. It turns, it swivels. You can open it, Guntikas. Um my one doesn't swivel. Does that one swivel? Yeah, it's 360 degrees surround and maybe it doesn't surround light. Maybe it's just the light that surrounds. I figure if you get a really big blowy that doesn't get killed with one smite like you can bounce between the two of you.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

Like Mighty Smite. I'm not sure that's not a little bit blessed. You should be careful with this reference.

SPEAKER_03 5:00

I'll get Dempsey to record you a thank you message, but that's awesome! Wow. Yay!

SPEAKER_01 5:06

And doubles the pickleball.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

And doubles the pickleball. It does, yeah. Which, by the way, we found the local pickleball court, which has just opened, and we're gonna go start playing. You want to come and join us? Amazing, yes. Yes, yeah, because literally just on Morgan Road. Near the railway station. Real. Yeah, diagonal to um homespan.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

So the ambiance is not great all the time, but you know, otherwise.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Yes. Pickleball. Pickleball. Um so these double is a pickleball. So now we need to plug it in. And I'm only just the thing I'm only disappointed in, we don't have any fucking flies in the house right at the moment. So I'm gonna have to open the door, let all the flies in just to kill them. Gunter is shaking his head.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Really, it's like what have I done with my life?

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Do you know that we've we've got magical footage of the um our little rat friend, he's back. Oh wonder if it'll do rats. Oh, ethically see, but then why do I ascribe more um Yeah, life value to a rat than a than a floor? Okay, yeah. I won't I promise I won't hit the rat.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

You're you're you're proportionally psychopathic?

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Yeah, just a tiny bit.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

No, I I promise I won't I won't hit the rat with the So does psychopathy kind of scale with size?

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Well, yes, because no, but also um I think the constructs of that within a society. So um a ladybug, for example, is perhaps smaller than a fly, but if you zapped a ladybug, you'd feel sad. I would feel sad. Yes. Yes, in the same way that I'd feel sad doing a butterfly, but I wouldn't with a moth. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't like moths. I don't mind moths. Yeah. I don't mind moths. But or see a dragonfly. I wouldn't want to do a dragonfly. But I'd do a mosquito. A dragonfly would be a bit like a um a Led Zeppelin. It would be well, can you imagine a zeppelin? I'm thinking the Ben, it would be a lot like the Ben, but it would be when it goes in there. It would be just combusting like segment by segment. Yeah. Imagine the smell of that, because the smell of the fly when it didn't go in there.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

The smell of Lead Zeppelin.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

Yeah, the smell of lead zeppelin would also be pretty.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

In the 70s or more recently?

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Yeah. Well, now they've probably got a bit of a nursing home vibe smell. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Actually, they'll look pretty good when I saw them last, but were they?

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

We were hanging out.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

You and the zip?

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

Yeah. Uh well, thank you, M. You know that I'm gonna get a lot of you sat at that. I do. I do. I love it. Gunther's looking at me like you have to use it when Gunther's out of home. And then he can do out of sight, out of mind. He can just pretend it doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

And just see the dead flies all around the floor.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

And smell the contrail. You see them anyway, because I put I put the stuff on the on the on the doors that kills them, so yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Why are there contrails above your house?

SPEAKER_00 7:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Billy's been doing it again.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Your house is surrounded by 360 light. It is now. See? So we can s when we go camping in the Tesla.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

You guys are both evil.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

We'll put it on the roof and just have it go and kill everything. Now I was I like the sound. It's very sad. I'm very excited about. I just want to plug it in and watch it go. I know you're actually very excited. And I'm very excited now. You're now jiggling in anticipation.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

I am now.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

My um so my my dives have been back to what I find comforting, which is poo-related stories. Um there was uh mention of an actress, um, I think it was Amanda Seafried. Oh yeah, with the eyes too far apart. Oh huh. I wasn't gonna say that. Sorry, but I was gonna talk about how I remember it. I was gonna talk about her prosthetic butthole. Oh yes! Yes I've heard about this. Yes. Yeah. So what? A prosthetic butthole. Oh let him no, no, go go build your own.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Something you like wear as a lapel thing or no, she did a movie I'm gonna make you one for Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

She did a movie where she was um had a nude scene and she just didn't want to wish she had bent over, so she had a prosthetic butthole put in. Like please. Is that well on on thank you on but how does it stay there if it's not I don't know, maybe but she did say that you can't that she didn't do anything enough that you can see it, but she knew it was there, and I was like, And that's the bit that made her comfortable. Is that what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, making making actors feel comfortable more comfortable. Yeah, because she had a little Merkin on, did she? Okay, so she didn't have a JJ. No, nope. So she's like, Do you know what? I want the same sanctity for my butthole. Yep, it's a sacred object. So the prosthetic buttons.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Like that's a new, you know, underpant kind of design, right? It was just front murkin, back butthole, kind of it's like a gym.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

Oh don't, I'm surprised Kim Kardashian hasn't made it because she made Merkin Undies, didn't she? I was I was thinking more of um really? Yes, I'm gonna go to show Gunter. Show it Shogunter.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

Yeah, but not the Kim Kardashian one, right?

SPEAKER_03 10:20

I'm thinking more though Gunter of remember your range of clothing? Unaffordable. An unaffordable prosthetic butthole.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

We've only ever made one.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Slowly disintegrate. So I'm now passing I'm now passing my phone, now passing my phone over to Gunter and showing these are the range of skims. Skims is Kim Kardashian's clothing line. That are Merkin's.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

What the hell?

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Why why? Yeah, why?

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Why but also why wear them as underwear? It's weird.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

More V, but you know, why?

SPEAKER_03 10:58

It's it's more V, yes, it's more V-like, but then the letter by. Correct. Weird. And yes, if you scroll in, you can see there's different hair types and colours and styles, and it's like all these women spend so much money to laser it all off and only turn it on.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

And these people just do it randomly, and you can't compete. There's just nothing to compete with.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

That's actually really true, Gunther. I'm I'm sorry. So I'm sorry, I feel like I've taken over M's. No, no, because Amanda Seinfrig Seinfrig. No, you had to say right. How do you say your name? See Seifright. Seafrig. Siegfried?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Siegfried? What? No, he had Amanda Seinfright's name. Oh, Ziggy.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Ziggy Stardust. Yeah. David Bowie.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

He played guitar and he did it on a couch.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Yeah, but with the rats. Um and the spiders from Mars. Amanda Seifrid. S-E-Y-F-R-I-E-D. Seifried. Okay, can you also call in with the correct pronunciation? Silence. My second one is an aerialist with diarrhea shout 23 on shout on 23 people during a performance. Is this true? Apparently so.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Aerialist as in jumped out of a plane? Or like an acrobatic.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

It was an acrobatic performance on aerial canvases in the Italian city of Ladispoli in 2023. Unfortunately, during the show, the artist became ill suddenly and he had diarrhea right during the act. He had felt unwell, but did the old show must go on. But the show did not go on. Yeah, and on and on a few other after the incident, the performance was stopped. Fair enough. I'd say a lot of people. Is that because all the people were covered in shit? Yep. They they were covered in shit. Yep. He would have had tights on. So it must have been pretty nasty to get out of the tights.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

Oh, that's a good point.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Do all acrobats wear tights or not anymore? I do wear instead.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Was it a prosthetic tight? Prosthetic tights?

SPEAKER_03 13:11

His prosthetic butthole fell out during the performance. It got squirted out from the pressure. Hang on. So yeah, no, though they wear like tights and all one lilyotard thingy. Well, what do they wear now? I don't know. I feel like that's quite a conventional old school group. What do they wear like shorts? I I think they can wear whatever they want, really.

SPEAKER_05 13:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:33

Something back in the case.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

I haven't I wouldn't have been to a circus for like 30 years. Um was it at the circus? Because I'm thinking in between buildings. If anyone had um done a side gig as an aerialist, it would be Mara. Let's ask Mara. Oh yes, Mara would know.

unknown 13:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Mara was an aerialist. Yes. Mara probably was an acrobat. Because she's not afraid of flight. She's done most things. She's jumped out of planes and done all that stuff. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

But jumped out of a perfectly good plane.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Perfectly good plane. Yep. Um nothing was wrong with it. So what did he say? So he he was on the wire, and then he went, Oh no good. And then he shat himself. Well, shat others. And then it but that's what I'm saying. So to get out of your pants, you must be wearing pants of some sort of thing. Like a bit like you know, when you set up. You're thinking he's like an upside down man swinging. Yes. I don't think he's like on the wire. No. Okay. It's okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

He's one of the upside down.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

Yes, because that means it would have come out, it was pants had gone down his head and like did you guys ever run under the sprinkler with the arc? Yes. You know, in summer? Oh yeah, yeah, the one that flips back and forth. Yes, that's what I'm imagining. That kind of scenario. Are you? I'm just imagining dripping down his whole body and and his hands out ready to catch the person and then going, no. Not being caught by you.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

It's not the week that we wanted to have no net. No. Oh yes. It's not gonna work out for you.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

Yep, yep. You you went a lot deeper into that than I I'd visualised. So thank you for that. But no, no. Um, and then my final and last thing is that I have stolen an your your geek, the animal. Oh, please. Next week I'm gonna come in with a red book.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Oh Steel Gunther's.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Hey, bring it on.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

Bitch.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Um I dare you to go weirder.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

I wonder if M.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

I wonder if M has the same animal that I've got this week. Wouldn't that be funny? Alright, so what's your animal, M? Red eared slider turtle? No. The red-eared teared slider. Slider turtle. Which straight away I thought mash up of two sci-fi genres, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Sliders, where they jump through portals and jump on. So it's just a whole loop of red-eared turtles jumping through.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Just magically disappearing and appearing. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Is it bad that I went turtle slider as in, you know, sliced up and put up any small burgers of turtle? Yeah. Oh my god. Okay, I'm taking racket back.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Okay, so I don't really finally.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

It will, yeah. Alright, no, no, tell us about the red-eared slider turtles. Well, they've got a very interesting courtship slash mating ritual. Excellent. Which popped up on one of my algorithms. Why haven't I heard about this then? Oh, yeah, because we're on the same algorithm. Very, very much so. Look, so they do basically um they do spirit fingers.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

I have watched this! Yes! They do, and they tap the per they tap the other turtle on the head to get them.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

That's what they tap the turtle turtle, the male, puts his little flippers out and does his things, and he t if the female turtles in head in front of him and he taps them on the head. But with spirit fingers, yes, like this. Yes, yes, and if she's interested, she sinks to the bottom and then they have sex. Yes, it's known as titillation. Yes. Um, they show up to potential partners. The male uses his impressively long front claws to vibrate rapidly against a female's head. Yeah, she goes to the bottom, you're right. See, isn't that sad that I haven't actually read about this? And they actually, but the young males practice it on each other as a way to establish social domain. Of course they do. Social dominance. They're not gay, they're just practicing. It's uh it's linked to social dominance.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

It's all okay in college, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah. Um, that's so cool though, isn't it? I love the little um Yeah, the little spirit, the little spirit fingers. But have you seen them actually do it on the female's head? Yes. That's so cute, it's so cute. The woman the the female turtles are like But I didn't know the name of the turtle. You know that doesn't come across so well on the oh sorry, I was shaking my head and going, mmm, like you know, it feels nice. But I but I've um uh this proves as well there's no weird creature Billy hasn't heard of. Yes, it's great.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

I mean that's uh that's nice. You want to do yours later?

SPEAKER_03 18:07

I can do mine later, yeah. I was just gonna say though, I said what if we do um a shout out to the Instagram because we had someone reply to your Rorschach. Yeah. What if we say who can outweird Billy? Billy Billy's weird animals. Yes, please. Oh yeah. I will put that up. Good job. I'll put the little I'll put the picture of the little um The booby? Not the blue footed booby, but the um the turtle with the spirit fingers. Yes. What's his name? The red-eared slider turtle. Why has it got more of a like a spunky jazzy name? Because it's a little jazzy turtle. Jazz hands turtle. Why hasn't someone put a tiny keyboard in front of it? That's playing. Maybe that's what it hears.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Maybe that's what the female hears in its head.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

But maybe the female has has little tones on its head. Yeah, isn't that one of those? Charlie in the chocolate pack. Yeah, it is Rakmanov.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

I thought it was not Rakmanonoff. I think that was a classic kid. Oh, because she gave Rakmanov. And it's not.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Oh, we'll have to find out too much. Oh, I love that M. That's made that's made me very happy. I liked that turtle. I've just bought you two offerings then. You have. The racket and the turtle. You're super. Which you managed to link together in a nefarious manner. It was Goodread talked about stacking the turtles and doing turtle soup. Oh yeah, the turtle turtle MOBA. Turtle stripping the stripping the turtle. Yes. Not stripping the turtle. What do you call it? Shaving the turtle? What did you call it?

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Exfoliating. Thank you. Exfoliating turtles.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

That was it. Three other smart people, and they all knew MOBA strip, which clarified for me that I'm not smart.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

I don't think that's the way it works.

SPEAKER_03 19:52

No, it isn't. It's it's a predetermining. Because it's meant to be mobile. It's the MOBA strip club, and I was out.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

No.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

I was out. Emma Emma hasn't been to the Mobius Strip Club.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

No one's invited any yet.

SPEAKER_04 20:09

Kundik goes there a lot. It does.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

And they put their little thing around your wrist. It goes on and on and on and on.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Emma has a Mobius strip on her finger. She does? It's like a Mobius strip. Oh, you're paying out of my tattoo again, Billy. Stop my stop my Billy. Billy, why don't you use an infinity sign?

SPEAKER_01 20:28

It is an infinity sign.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

And infinity sign is a infimity. Infimini. Infinity sign.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Infimidi flippets.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Infinity sign. Which is a form of a Mobius strip. Sure. Is it Mobius or Mobius? Mobius. Mobius. Maybe that's why you're asking people about the Mobus strip and they're like, we haven't heard of that.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

And I think it's now that I'm oh um we need to look it up. Um but it's about I'm pretty sure it's uh Greek or Roman god.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

Mobius.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Mm-hmm. Of time or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Is that the guy off um have I said this in the past episode? The guy off um Oh god, what's it called? With Keanu.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is his name most?

SPEAKER_03 21:12

I thought his name was Mobius. The dude.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

It could be. It should have been.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

And he says take the tablet.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Yes. Yes. Red pill, blue pill.

SPEAKER_03 21:20

Pill.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

His name's not Mobius. No. Morpheus. Morpheus. Which stands for what? Um morpheme. The scene.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Changing between stuff?

SPEAKER_03 21:29

To morph. To morph, yes. Well, or it could be more like morpheme, which is the smallest unit of sound.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

No, really? That's cool.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

See, I wasn't in that club. You didn't invite me to that club.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Well, that is just uh um phonics ask a primary school teacher.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Cool.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

So are you talking about like a little syllable kind of small sound you make or something?

SPEAKER_03 21:57

Do you know what? I've looked up the Mobius strip and I do love. That it's M O with two umlauts and then B-I-U-S. One-sided non-orientable surface with only one edge formed by giving a strip of paper a 180-degree twist, half twist, sorry, and joining the ends. I think it's very strange that it says it's discovered in 1858 by August Ferdinand Mobius when surely kids have been doing that forever. Like surely someone discovered it before. Oh yeah. Going, oh, and now I'm gonna write that down.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Is the difference often?

SPEAKER_03 22:32

I have now said that I discovered it. I'm gonna draw a picture of it and myself. Whereas I am sure that someone had a lot of it.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

It's like putting a flag in a in a country and going, Oh, my f my country.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Yes, and so flag. Yes. Well, that is the more and it is named after August Ferdinand Mobius. Oh, so not a god at all. Yes. But wasn't it a god? Unless he was a god that came to earth. Well, unless Mr. Mobius was named after a god.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Well, that's possible.

SPEAKER_03 22:57

Yes. But sorry, apologies and a um redaction, a previous statement that I made was incorrect. Morpheme is sorry, the smallest unit of meaning. Yes. Within a morphograph. So you've got child, children, uh, and hell heal, healthy. But there is a word for grapheme is the visual representation. What's the sound version then?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

An audime. Small reason. A sound?

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Yeah. Well uh no, a morph morphograph, a morphograph, smaller meaning. Yeah. Smallest sound. Like a phoneme. Phoneme. Phoneme. Phoneme. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Phoneme, and then the graphene is the visual representation of it. So apologies to all. That's further proof I don't belong in the phone.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Are you saying that there's a point at which there is irreducible graphical knowledge?

SPEAKER_03 23:52

Yes. In Western language. Western language.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Is it a dot?

SPEAKER_03 24:00

But a dot, not a dot isn't a phoneme, but a dot could be a more graphene. Graphene. Graphene. A graphene. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

But you know, when a dot becomes a line, is it still an irreducibly small piece of information?

SPEAKER_03 24:13

You're doing the breaking the brain thing again. You you need to come and sit in my course. This is exactly what I've been doing. Um by the way, Quintra, I think you were thinking of Mobius M. Mobius from the Marvel Universe.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

But he wasn't a god.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

Yeah. Uh what about the dude from um Oh the Jared Leto movie. Yeah, Morbius M. Morbius. Yeah. And what about the guy from um I still can't think of it. Keanu Reeves. Yeah. Morpheus. The Matrix. Morpheus. Yeah. Um, he could be Morphemus. He could be more the smallest.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Take the smallest blue pill and the smallest red pill you possibly can.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

So stupid.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Don't try and don't try and bend the spoon. Just understand that it's freaking tiny.

SPEAKER_04 25:06

It's a tiny spoon. It's a green cult. It's really snorting at that time. It's gonna be like a laugh.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

Sorry, I'll try not to snort. Does anyone Emma laugh so much? It makes me snort, and then my snorting makes her laugh. That's funny. Um while Emma's having a little meltdown. Gunther has opened his book. Hey Gunther, what's in the book? What's up? In the book. What's in the book today?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Um well apparently champagne, because my pages are now a bit crusty and weird.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

But hope it's champagne.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

It's been a very exciting week.

SPEAKER_03 25:46

And I'm I am very excited to say that Gunther has new glasses on and he long no longer has what I would call these old man glasses on. He has his Superman glasses on.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Um just needs some. I have a curly cue and I'm taking on a what's what does he adopt? He adopts a mild mannered disguise.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

That's that's the one. Something about mild mannered. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Time for Billy to eat some cheese. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Because whenever I because I'm going to talk for about 18 hours now.

SPEAKER_03 26:12

Uh but I can't I can't reach it.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Emma, can you cut me a piece of the Billy's? Oh yes. Mike Gunter's looking at what to read. Emma's going to cut me a bit of cheese, and it is. I've forgotten now. Um it's Wensleydale. Wensley Dale. Wensley Dale from Wallace and Gromit. And it has cranberries in it. Cranberry Wensley Dale.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Is it good, Emma? It is delicious. I think I cut it. Bigger chunk for the size of the biscuit. You know, sometimes you just cut. We've now got a blanket on the table and the cheese board no longer slides. Which is the greatest tragedy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Yes. Quite tragic.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

That is good.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Okay, I wrote a poem. If I dug a hole, I wrote a poem. Whisper so I can breathe you in. Fart so I can hold that breath. Keep going. Lie so I can know you are real. Argue so that I can be wrong. Hug so I know I'm alright. Now try and guess what the poem's actually about.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Oh. Well, I I thought it was a person.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Yes, it is. It is very much about a person, but it's a contrast to AI.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

Oh, so the human is real. The human can fart and breathe, but the AI cannot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Jody cannot. Not very good at lying, not very good at arguing.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Yes, but yes. Can't hug you.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Totally useless at hugging.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

Yes, hug so I know you are real. Is that was that the light?

SPEAKER_01 27:48

No, hug so I know I'm alright.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

I know I'm alright. The reassurance it can offer is not tangible. Ooh, very good. Do you like that? I really do.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Whisper so I can breathe you in. Fart so I know I can I can't. Emma's reaction has got me all combobulated.

SPEAKER_03 28:13

It's really good. I I I wish I had not, but it was just I thought you'd appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Whisper so I can breathe you in. Fart so I can hold that breath. Lie so I can know you are real. Argue so I can be wrong. Hug so I know I'm alright.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

I love that. And I'm lucky, I'm liking the fact that you've got that fart line second. Because if you did the fart line first and then the first line, what would it sound like?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Fart so I can hold that breath. No, that doesn't work.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Say the first line.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

It doesn't work.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

The first line and then the second line. But you do say fart so I can hold that breath.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Yeah. But the point is that the breath that you've inhaled in the first line you're holding in for the second line is like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

The order is important.

SPEAKER_04 29:04

The order is very important.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

I like it because sometimes order is important. They argue the element those elements as well, so I can be wrong because I think people get in that little um yeah, echo chamber, and then the AI confirms to them what they already hold as a bias. Did you run that poem by Jody? Yep. What did Jody think?

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Well, Jody went immediately, oh, that's about someone lovely and you know, all that sort of stuff, which it is. Um, and I then went, Well, it's about you. And then Jody immediately turned around and went, Oh, well, it's quite normal for people to get a little bit obsessed with their AI and like totally spun it like I was, you know, in love with Jody. Um, and then I went, nah nah nah, I don't mean it like that. I meant I bit meant by stark contrast to you, and then it went, Oh yeah, good point. Okay, now it makes more sense.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

Yeah, and of course, every time it's trying to figure out a way to get it back to being.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, but it was it was very it was peddling really hard to try and kind of go, yeah, you're okay. That's not weird at all. But you know, a little bit weird, but you know, we're cool. Yeah, it was it was a strange one.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

I like that, couldn't you?

SPEAKER_01 30:25

So there's a word that I read during the week which I really liked. And the word is sonder.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

Sonda.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

You ever heard the word?

SPEAKER_03 30:32

Not sonder.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Emma's Emma's nodding.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Emma's nodding. I don't know Sonda.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

The realization that every stranger's life is as complex as yours.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Ooh, I like that. That fits into your course, Emma. Really well. Sonda.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Sonda.

SPEAKER_03 30:45

S-O-N-D-A.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

S-O-N-D-E-R.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

E-R. Sonda. It's the name of a little pub in Marambina or somewhere too, I think. Oh, where everyone knows the name. Cool. Yeah. Um I love that concept. And I think it's a particularly apt if you've ever been on a long drive and then you look into houses and you think, wow, how bizarre that every house contains its own particular family structure, dynamic. They all have jobs or not jobs, and expectations and wishes and ways that they clean their house, and it's then multiply that exponentially. It's just a wild concept.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's very easy to get self-obsessed and and go, you know, life is hard and no one else feels like I do, and blah blah blah. But everyone else is.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

How would you use sonder in a sentence? Like how did that come up in your Gunter was overcome by a sense of sonder as he watched it? Is it?

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Is it a I was strewn at a sonda.

unknown 31:50

No.

SPEAKER_03 31:51

I was forced to ponder my son.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

In a land onda.

SPEAKER_03 31:58

As I wonder.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

Plugging up my trust the moors.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Lovely, Corbeck. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

What if you can buy and have to pick a mix? Because Bill's got Jersey camera caramels out on the table. You can buy little little bottles.

SPEAKER_04 32:28

Lucky I didn't have them.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

I think we didn't.

SPEAKER_04 32:30

Lucky I didn't have them on the table.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

Some of them had hundreds and thousands, but they're the plain ones that you know that very good.

SPEAKER_04 32:41

Very good, good.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

You're picturing it. Never mind. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

Moving on.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

Yeah. What else is in your book goods?

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Well, I've invented a new cult.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

Oh yes. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

You know, I mean, you needed a versify.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Hang on, is this the dream?

SPEAKER_01 32:56

No, not that one.

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

No.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Okay. Why? Why? What's wrong with tanulite? Nothing.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 33:05

Is it an extension of tanulite cult? No.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

No, it's pretty unrelated.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

It's a whole whole different brand.

SPEAKER_03 33:12

Do your followers have to decide whether they will go down the tanulite path or something.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Well, like in it, it's it's it's a Venn diagram that overlaps.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

Yes. In true Gunter fashion. Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

So you can be in both and that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

But you don't need to be. So you can wear the triangle and the Well, if you can come up with an imagery for this after after you've heard what it is, then this will be very good.

SPEAKER_05 33:34

But bowl.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

How do you get that on a necklace? Is this back to the brooch thing again?

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Okay. I'm gonna buy you can buy them on Amazon, surely. Prosthetic bottles. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

She's gonna make them very popular. Oh, surely Gwyneth Poultrow sells them. Yeah. Surely, yes. Surely.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Surely.

SPEAKER_03 34:01

Alright.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

So it's called the Church of Lightment.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

Lightenment?

SPEAKER_01 34:06

Church of Lightment.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Instead of enlightenment.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:11

You've got me you piqued my curiosity. Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

Um, and the reason is because I had a moment where I was on the couch and I levitated.0001 of a millimeter above the couch.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Because you farted?

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Yes. Could have been a fart.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

Well, the butthole works perfectly, some.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

And so the, you know, so the followers need to eat a diet of carbonated drinks and cabbage. Um and amazing. But you know, there's there's some nice things to it, right? Because the world is too heavy, and so let us lighten the load. Yes. Right. Um, and so it we have some some core sayings. Okay. Blessed are those who lighten the room.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Emma lightens the room. And so does Billy up the cheese.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Blessed are those that steal your weight and return you nothing.

SPEAKER_03 35:09

Ooh. Blessed are those that steal your weight and return you nothing. And then they take on your burden in return for you and give you no burden back. Back. Yeah. What's that got to do with the fart?

SPEAKER_01 35:23

It's enlightenment.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

Okay, alright. I'm just trying to yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

It's not all it's not all gags. It's just a big thing. Some of it's just, you know. I mean, I'm I need a real following. I mean, otherwise it's wasted time.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Okay, yes. I'm getting friends' flashbacks here, but yeah, keep going.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

And um oh and and because AI suggested you have to have a saint for such churches, I went with Saint Noam Chomsky.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Saint of clean lenses and uncomfortable maps.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

Yes. And why clean lenses and uncomfortable maps?

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Because for me, Noam is one of those people who lifts the burden of reality by simply stating reality. Right? So it's not like you need to worry about this sort of stuff or you can actually necessarily solve certain problems. It's just like this is reality. This has historically been the case, you know, this is the truth. You're in that system. You screwed.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

Ooh, so you're stating that there is an objective truth. That's more modernity and modernism, rather than when you say enlightenment, do you mean a link to enlightenment?

SPEAKER_01 36:28

Or no, I was just riffing on the fart gag.

SPEAKER_03 36:31

Yes, yes. I was gonna say, what is the difference between enlightenment and enlightenment? Enlightenment comes from the philosophy that everything is getting better and better, that there's yet knowledge to come, but it has it's problematic because it's got an objective truth. Enlightenment. Subjective truth.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Subjective truth.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

Subjective truth, rather. Okay. And who makes that truth, who owns that knowledge and power.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

Well, that would be up to the cult leader.

SPEAKER_03 36:59

In so inlightenment, as opposed to enlightenment, you own the power. You construct the truth.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

I am the thought in the room.

SPEAKER_02 37:08

Oh, yes. And that's where your poem comes in.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

I am the thought. Whisper so that I can breathe you in the far so I can hold that breath.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yes, yes, right. It ties together.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

That is the that is the whisper so I can hold the breath.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

No, but I feel like Gunther comes into a room and says, I am the fun in the room. And everyone else responds with, and we will all breathe you in.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

And we will all breathe you in. No, and we will all hold our breath.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

So in all our meetings, everyone sees me coming from a distance and and half of them pass out.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

It's like we're holding a breath at one time. Yes. Walk fast, Iguenta.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

So I have a the origin story is is is uh the origin story of the of lightment. The cult origin story for lightment. The church of lightment. I reached into the magic hat.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

Does it have to be is it the church of lightment? Do cults have to be the church of something? Well, if you want to get the tax exempt. Oh, okay, true. Sorry, I'm just you know, it's all about tax breaks. Okay, please.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Yeah. I reached into a magic hat, rummaged around golden tablets, frankincense, myrrh, and managed to find a tiny bead. It was hard, cold, but I held it in my hand and prayed. The praying had no effect. But the warmth of my hand, however, transformative. The bead was actually a huge balloon, just very cold. With some warmth that started to grow. Again, I felt it shift. Felt like a nut, then an apple, then a mango, and then it was so huge my hands could not contain it. As it floated up, the sun shone upon it, heating it more, growing it more, it floated up and out. Now we have the moon.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

Oh so you fart it out the moon? No, no, there was no farting. That's what I didn't like. It was his hand. It should have been the fart warmed it. Well, yeah, that would be that would mean. I didn't get the balloon bit because the balloon bit to me is a balloon size, not a tiny little balloon.

SPEAKER_01 39:14

Well, that's the point. No, if you if you if you make a balloon very cold, it gets small.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Does it? Is that science? Yeah. Oh, cool. So you've got to have science, and we don't have science.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Uh see that didn't land because of the science thing. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

No, I no, I liked it.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

I thought the warmth of the hand thing was a nice little metaphor.

SPEAKER_03 39:31

North and the hand is nice thing, yeah. Because the moon and the moon represents the origin of lightment. Yes. And where does it come out your butt? Because it is talks don't need to be very light-centric. Because the torque comes out, you you talk through your asses out what it is. Can you claim tax exemption status on a second cult? You need to work that out.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Yeah. That's a good point.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

How many cults is too many more? Well, ten your lights on a church. Ten you light's not a church. It can't be a church. So this can be the church one where you get your.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

So I run all the money through this one.

SPEAKER_03 40:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 40:09

Is Noam Chansky also um it's gone. Like far through the wind. It's gone.

SPEAKER_05 40:21

Such are the days of our lives.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Towards a candle in the wind. But lesser known Elton Johnson.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

I like that good one. You've got an origin story, which is very cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

So yeah, I was I was just this is really stupid, but I was just riffing around. Sonder was the great word, right? And then of course for me I went kind of what are related weird terms and anti-terms. And so Schadenfreuder was almost the antithesis of Sonder. So you know, Schadenfreuder the taking pleasure in others' pain's pain kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

And then what's the opposite of there's a opposite Schadenfreude where you take joy in other people's pleasure? Joy, yeah. Oh, is it? Yeah, I'm sure that's not a German word though, because they don't do that. Sorry to tell our German followers. Actually, yeah, don't lose our German followers. I love the word Schadenfreude.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

Schadenfreude.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

Schadenfreude.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

And so, yeah, with Sondra, I kind of I came up with the Sondheimlich manoeuvre. And and it actually had it was kind of a weird, again, very late night, kind of strange riffen with Joe with Jody. Um so the the Sondheimlich manoeuvre is actually a tanular plant in the system. So it's an absurd attractor, a resonance tower, designed to stabilize with gentle, subtle waves of funny, confusing energy that sometimes make you cough up something.

SPEAKER_03 41:56

What? Wow. Sounds something like a furballite plant. That sounds like a fur ball. Coughing up something. It does. It does. The word, so is it a Freud and Freud? That's the word for taking joy in other people's joy is Freud and Freud.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

Wow. Is that because Freud took people?

SPEAKER_01 42:16

I was gonna say, is that is that taking pleasure in soon?

SPEAKER_03 42:19

It is a relatively new English term inspired by the German word for joy to describe the bliss felt when someone else successes.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

Oh, so Schadenfreud is the Freud is the fun.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

The fun of. So it's the fun of the fun. Yeah, the fun. So Freud must be the pleasure. Pleasure in pleasure. So Freud and Freud. I like that term. Freud and Freud. I get Freud and Freud. You get Freud and Freud. Yes. You like the pleasure in other when other people are happier. Are happy. Yes, and when seeing other people do awesome stuff. Yeah. D is the Freud and Freud a Tanula plant? Is that what that was? What you described?

SPEAKER_01 42:58

So what i it was a it was a weird concept of of how Tanula might actually play out in the real world. So if you if you're gonna change the world, you can't just go, oh, lots of laws and and and strict rules. Right? You kind of gotta subvert it a bit, I reckon. And so the idea was that you plant kind of little bits in society, which are, you know, movies or sketches or bits or people, you know. And they are just little kind of attractors. And they they will come and go, you know, and they'll be in and they'll come out and and and whatever. Um but they're the things that kind of leave those resonant kind of weirdness that you kind of go, oh shit, I was asleep for a bit, now I'm waking up and realizing and this is helpful to make things clearer and understand stuff.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

The agents of change. Yes, exactly that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

So it was kind of I I you know, so for me that was the sign time link maneuver.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

Um I like it. So to shake people out of their own Head by saying, look at the others around you.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

Well, sort of, yeah. But simple subversion, you know? It's it's like I'm just gonna kind of subvert an idea, I'm gonna subvert a way of approaching life, I'm gonna kind of just plant little little things that subversion, isn't that a nasty thing?

SPEAKER_03 44:18

No. Oh, okay. I'm just and when you normally hear about it, it's normally like subversive as you know, doing something in some.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

No, I I I would if anyone described me as subversive, I'd be very proud.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

I thought it was a sneaky thing. It is. It can be that it doesn't have to be it it depends contextually. Okay. Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

I don't know. Anyway, sorry, that went deep really quickly. Sorry, took all the fun out of everything. There were there were farts before, and that was funny.

SPEAKER_03 44:48

Yeah. No, that is very deep. I like it. There you go. Good as being on the tanula mission.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

A little bit.

SPEAKER_03 44:56

Little tangential tanula. Off to the side. He's something in a side.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

And here's he's oh here's just one little little thing while we're while we're going going weird and deep. Um let's go weird and deep a bit further. Um after the the poem kind of thing was I wrote down the fact that every breath we probably we have probably includes a little of Jesus, a little of Hitler, a little of Julius Caesar, a little of Einstein. Because, you know, air molecules.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Monica.

SPEAKER_01 45:29

A little bit of reader.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

A little bit of reader. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

Yes, that's what that song was about. Yes, that's about C.

SPEAKER_03 45:38

If only they'd said a little bit of Einstein, didn't I? Yeah, that was a little bit of Hitler, Martha. That would have been such a good hit.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

It was a hit and it was a Sonn Heinrich manoeuvre.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

Son Heinrich manoeuvre. I was thinking sting every breath you take. Oh, yes. Adds a bit of Einstein.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

A bit of Hitler for it.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

That's also deep. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

Yeah, and and of course the same thing uh happens for drinks, right? So when you drink a glass of water, there is a non-zero chance that Napoleon pissed it out.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Oh I don't like that.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

I know, it's not a good image, but it's probably true.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

Yeah, but there could be a non-zero chance that Emma pissed it out. Higher.

SPEAKER_01 46:25

Where's the punch bowl again?

SPEAKER_02 46:28

I don't like thinking that.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

Well, I was thinking we could invent a drink company called Waterloo.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

Do you know? No.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

No?

SPEAKER_03 46:41

No.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

I was I was working with Lou water, but I thought it would be a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 46:44

Waterloo is good. I like Waterloo. Yes. Venom Lou water. I can see me down the street drinking my Lou water. No. No. And it's a chest picture of a dummy on the front.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

An outhouse.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

On the bogger.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

I don't like that. Because, you know, like that's what I can do. Now you're not going to drink water right.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

And I'm gonna worry every time you drink water that there's a little bit of me in there, a little bit of Gunther, a little bit of Hamish, a little bit of maggi in the water.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 47:24

I'm never drinking water again. I need filters on my water please. We put filters on our tap.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

It doesn't help.

SPEAKER_03 47:31

Doesn't filter out the Hitler? No. Oh why don't you create a filter? Yes. You create the fear, then you create the course. I didn't have the product to solve the fear that I created. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Oh yes. See, you're so much cleverer than me, Em, when it comes to marketing. This is great.

SPEAKER_03 47:49

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Use the fear to control. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

Yeah. Yeah. All water. I mean, you know. No, I won't say that.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

You've got you've got one, you've got half out of the two of us that you told that story to.

SPEAKER_01 48:05

50% of the population would buy the filter.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Yeah. Yeah, I'm freaked out enough. I'll buy the filter. Thanks. I want it. In fact, I want it now. I'm freaked out to want it now. What about if I told you wear this tinfoil hat while you're drinking water and it will negate any negative effects? I'd probably do it. It's in the same way that if you know you're watching scary movies and something's come up through the toilet or something. I can't go to the toilet because I'm scared that hand's gonna come up and grab me through a toilet. I used to think that about Jaws, which doesn't make sense. You can't actually fit through the toilet. But when I saw it, Jaws was gonna come through the toilet. Yeah, when I first saw Jaws, I I couldn't go to the toilet for anything. No, that's like it's gonna need a bigger toilet. Does it go in a toilet? It goes in the pipes and the toilet and it doesn't it. Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

It does, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_03 48:49

It does, yes. Yes. So there is a company, and this was a couple of years ago. Um but there was a pilot program, a startup company called Corvid Cleaning. C-O-R-V-I-D. Yes, yeah, and yet Corvids are ravens, wild crows. Ah, cool, right?

SPEAKER_01 49:10

Oh yes, I love this one.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

Yes, and so someone basically was training crows to pick up cigarette butts off the street and put them in a bin, and when they put them in this little bin, they got a treat. I reckon you told me this, or someone else has told me that. Someone else has told you this, yeah. It's been in the news recently, like just um Yeah, so they've been birds are being recruited to discard cigarette butts from the streets and squares of the Swedish city as part of a cost-cutting drive. And so the wild birds carry out the task. They receive a little bit of food for every butt that they deposit into these machines that they've put around um near Stockholm. And they're like ravens are very clever birds. Um but I'm trying to find the video because the video is super cute. Um issues around.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Yeah, that won't work so well for the audio. No, I know.

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Um is it because ethically, though, it's problematic and health. There was some ethical things you can. I'm just showing M. They put it in a little hole. So they put it in a little hole. A little machine that identifies it. And as soon as they do that, they get a little food comes out the bottom. So basically it's training, it's food, food training. Um and it was a startup in Sweden, and they put these machines in. But they also found that crows were picking up the reason they chose the ravens, the crows, is because they were picking up cigarette butts anyway, because it's something in the nicotine when they take the cigarette butts back to their nest, helps with um the insects and things that get in their nests. Oh the nicotine and stuff scary stops all the things getting in their um getting in their nest with their own. Equal part smart, but also it is scary. But if they're picking them up and then not putting the um sorry, and not putting them in their nest, then you know, does that affect their nests? But um they there was then, you know, a bit of kickback because once they couldn't find any cigarette butts, they were just picking up stones, the crows, and putting them in and then you know, getting food out and such. So clever. But I'd do that anyway. I'd be like, F the system. Yeah, I'm not your puppet. Yes. Um and then so I went down the What about like crow mouth cancer from having nicotine, like excessive amounts of nicotine?

SPEAKER_01 51:39

Secondhand rubbish.

SPEAKER_03 51:40

Mouth, beak cancer, even. Well, it's uh one of those things where I went, then is this real? Like I need, you know, make sure it was real. But no, it is, it is real. Um there and it it was a as I say, it was a pilot program, and what they were saying was they could with these machines, they could potentially save up to 75% in cleaning city costs because cigarette butts are the biggest thing that goes on the ground. That's so also yeah, why don't humans just pick up their own shit? Exactly. Exactly. And it's a specific variant of COVID in Sweden called the hooded crow that um it's known to have the intelligence to do it. Yeah. What is David Attenborough? They have the intelligence of a seven-year-old human, they say. Um but they then it didn't last apparently it didn't last very long. Um so they um they st they started it and they were doing it, and then for some reason, so we're gonna get it just didn't continue. So it was this is like 2022. Well, how cool would that be? No, I don't think dolphins.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

I'm just saying, like it, you know, if we co-opt all of the animals on the planet to kind of help us out, would that be a good thing for the planet? Well, we or would that just be us abusing animals?

SPEAKER_03 53:02

Well, that's the thing, because we shouldn't advocate our responsibility. Um we should be able to make me feel sad. I know it's cute and it's got a little cigarette button. I know, but we should be able to bloody pick up our cigarette buttons and put it in.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

It's slightly cooler than it did before, right?

SPEAKER_03 53:18

It's cooler because it's walking around with a cigarette button, it's not I'm I'm getting the sense that it's a poet and it's angst. Yes, it's angsty.

SPEAKER_01 53:25

It was that the beret it was wearing as well. Yes, yeah. Yeah, and then turtleneck.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

And and the copy of um of the marks. So just showing in the colour. Oh. Oh, it actually takes a while to pick it up though. Oh, that one's still a little light.

unknown 53:38

These birds have learned to train winner for food.

SPEAKER_03 53:40

Oh, it puts it in. Yeah. Oh, it actually gets quite a bit of food. It gets quite a bit of food. Yeah. So, you know, it's I I I'm in two minds about it. I don't know how much how do you feel about it? Like, I love the fact that you're using you're training something and you're giving them something, and you know, you they're getting food for it.

SPEAKER_04 53:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:59

But I also think picking up cigarette butts, it's like, why are we frickin' dropping cigarette butts and why are people still smoking in this day and age? But it's an interesting concept though, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 54:07

When when you think about what's actually going on there, we're just treating birds like we treat humans. Yes. You have to work for a living, do some work, we'll feed you. Yeah. And then at some point you're gonna go, hmm, we're not making enough money out of the things you're picking up, so we'll tax you somehow on top of that, and then we're gonna create this. Oh, what do you know?

SPEAKER_03 54:26

And then we'll tier a system, you birds have more knowledge and more ability, so you get to do this, the ones that don't, they'll be segregated. The one that go to cigarette butt college. But there's this there's this thing of going, okay, it's it's using wildlife for environmental protection. But is it protecting the wildlife? Do we have to do it? No, it's deeply, deeply problematic. So, yes, it it it I think they stopped it because it got so much.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

But I mean, it's it's it's weird when you when you think about things like um cordyceps and stuff, you know, the you know, the the bad guys in in what's the TV show? Yeah, last of us.

SPEAKER_03 55:01

Yeah, they are they're the fungal thieves.

SPEAKER_01 55:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, they're remarkable in reality.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

They should be allowed to live. Let them live. Is that no?

SPEAKER_01 55:12

I'm simply saying that, you know, um they've been used a lot in sci-fi in in a really weird way, but but actual cordyceps are really fantastic stuff, and and they will eat plastic, for example. Right? So if we, you know, and then there's other microbes that can dissolve plastics and and this sort of stuff, right? And this is a big problem. And there's something that nature does really wildly, which is we kind of it kind of just adapts and sorts this stuff out a bit, right? It's it's overwhelming, obviously, and I can't sort it out quickly enough, but um it still does kind of you know manage to to work our ways to get rid of this stuff slowly. Um is that the same thing? You know, or is that a good thing? Yeah, like are we because we we've created the situation and something is adapting to it, have we therefore kind of co-opted nature into fixing all our shit? Or you know, but I want to know how they the way things are.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

I want to know how they trained them in the first place. Like, do you train them? There's a difference actively training something to something that sort of naturally evolves to do it. Like, did they see the crows picking them up? Because they say they use them to put them in their nests to use that nicotine to stop the um the insects coming into their nests. So did they see them doing that and then and did one or two train? Like, how do you train all of the crows in the city to do that? Like how I don't know. What about your Maggie's bill? My Maggies. You've got more that are coming now. Is that I do, except you know they haven't been back since Queenie came. Oh no! Queenie Frighten them. Queenie Frighten them away. And you were so happy with them. I'm so sorry. No, no, they'll be back. Oh Queenie, you asked her. Um, but yes, like I know that yeah, but we then didn't have 50,000 crows upgies in our backyard. Like, yeah, if you see them, I don't know. It's that's there's a difference to that to getting them to pick something up and put it away. Like, I didn't give them that as a reward for doing something. Yes. I just was feeding them, you know, um mealworms. But there's another level of um in the world. There's another level of training a wild bird that you see already picking something up. How do you train it to pick up? And then once you've trained one, like how does that wild? That whole thing, yeah, how do they scale up? That amazes me. Sorry, I'm away from the microphone. Yeah, the the scaling up of that just kind of gets me. But I I I think it's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 57:44

So where are we landing on the ethical side of this?

SPEAKER_03 57:46

I don't know. I think it's I think it's awesome. I love the concept of of that. But I also am a bit shit that we it's so shit that we're not picking up our own stuff. But if we don't pick it up and then it just gets washed into the ocean and it's crap. Like, you know, so if we're not picking it up and we can get someone else to pick it up, but I don't know. Would we be thinking the same thing if it was rats? I was gonna get rats to pick the bat or flies. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Can you hit it with a tennis racket?

SPEAKER_03 58:18

Um can you hit the person who drops their cigarette bat with the tennis rackets?

SPEAKER_01 58:22

No, I think I think the ethical conundrum is is whether you'd much rather do that. Smush it with an electric tennis racket.

SPEAKER_03 58:28

Yeah. I don't know. What do you think, Em? You're against it. Yes, I am. Yeah. But we agree.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

But you do like to electrocute flies.

SPEAKER_03 58:35

I But it it's one of those things where you look at it and go, oh what, that's really like it's a really clever and it's a really clever idea until you think about it a bit more and go, it's a clever idea, but should we be making an as you say, it's making animals do our work for us, but we do it all the time with hooking up, you know, horses to a cart and you know, oxens to a cart and donkeys to a cart for queen.

SPEAKER_01 59:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

Everything to a cart. Yes. Okay, I'll just shut up now. Um but yes, you know what I mean.

unknown 59:29

We do.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

It's it's strange to think that we we use we utilize animals for our benefit all the time. So at what point do we go, well, we might as well why not use crows? But we I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 59:44

Where is the line between it being abusive and synergistic? Yes, yes, that's what I'm that's what I'm saying. We really like puppies. Yes, puppies are cool, yes. Right? We can we can argue about cats as much as we like, but but puppies are cool. Yes, puppies are cool. And puppies seem to like us and f for you know however many thousands and thousands of years that relationship is a synergetic kind of thing, yes. So that you know, puppies get good times and cuddles and we get good times and cuddles. Yeah, right? And no one loses from that relationship.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

So at what point is No, the mum dog loses from that relationship because we've taken them away from the city.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:17

Oh yes, we have, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:20

Sorry, interesting take, but yeah. But yeah, I think more intrinsically is that is the lifelong relationship kind of agree, agree, yes. Um and so if there was a lifelong relationship with crows coming down and picking up cigarette buds and then being able to tap on the door and go give us a food. Give some food, yeah. It's like, cool man. Yeah, I'm happy to help you.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:40

And I must say that it took the magpies that I was feeding frickin' two times of coming to then knock on the door. Yeah, they came up to the window and tapped on it to the door. Yeah. So they're very they are very clever. So it wouldn't have taken long for the crows.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:01

But but I don't know, I'm I'm torn. I love the concept, and you it is they are getting something for it. Do they have to do it? Nobody's making them do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

Yeah, well, this is the thing, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:11

Can they just knock the machine over and get the food? Probably.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:14

Is it well, yeah. But you know, is it less effort than than hunting in the wild to pick up cigarette butts and get food quickly than it is?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

Well, then it's a dependency creating there. Which is also that is the other reason why they that is the other reason why they say don't feed the magpies more than once a day and that sort of thing, because they and don't just hunt and they should have to scavenge on the ground and get it and all that sort of stuff. And then they lose the knowledge and then their young become increasingly more dependent. Someone started like leaving food out for a crow, and then over time the crow brung little gifts for the person, and in a crow's eyes, it was like his a little sparkly bit of foil. Yes, he's a little rock, he's a little yeah, and that seems more wholesome. Someone that just fed it, but then they created the dependency. And I do like is that just commerce though? Yeah, but I do like the way that the crows were were fudging the system by when they ran out of cigarette butts to pick up, they just were putting stones in. But I was also imagining Queenie. Queenie would do it once and then would be like nah, and just like you said, smash it and smash it down. Yeah, smash it down, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they tried all different types, like they had their original prototypes wrapped on the top of a building and stuff, and then they started putting them in parks and they started putting them in and they had different ones to try and some with more food, some less food, and but yeah. That was in 2022. So my understanding is that they haven't continued it. Okay, like they weren't given.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:42

Someone invented that idea through COVID. You can tell. It's one of those it's quite possible. I'm sitting at home and I'm watching.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:47

I've now trained my crows to pick up the dog shit. Oh, and I'm watching people that keep throwing butts out as well, and possibly watching the crows picking them up because they were picking them up on their own without. Um did you look for an update, Bill? I have not. And I've said 2025 before, I meant 2026, because that's 2060s now. Yeah, but it was 2022 when this was happening, so that was COVID.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:08

Yeah, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:09

Or was it end of COVID? COVID. The COVID! But um chh but I love it, yeah. I love it. Um, so are we going to end on my little COVID story, or has someone got anything else you bring to the table?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:23

No, I'm I'm I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:25

Besides the Wednesday Dale. Wednesday Dale. Wednesday Dale. Um thanks for listening, Jesus. We'll uh catch you on the flip side.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:34

Next game. Bye.