Ep 28 A Rotten Butt Nut

This week, Emma investigates the wonderfully ridiculous sea coconut, nature's answer to a human backside, dives into the world of invisible ink, and uncovers the mysterious historical illness known as Green Sickness. We take a nostalgic detour to remember the iconic Copperart stores, Günter discovers some truly bizarre phobias.Expect questionable science, questionable grammar, and highly questionable expertise.  

⚠️ Warning: This episode contains butt-shaped coconuts, irrational fears, AI opinions, and enough nostalgia to make you want to browse a shopping centre from 1997. As always, facts may vary.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast contains strong language, bad decisions, and zero regrets. You've been warned.

SPEAKER_06 0:26

There is our intro. Hello, Cheezers.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Hello, Cheezers.

SPEAKER_06 0:30

Oh, oh, Emma. Emma's doing it. I did a nice little seg. Okay. A nice little segment. A nice little seg. So I was in the gym with Charlotte. So we're not doing an intro.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

The preamble is preamble. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 0:45

The preamble is a thing. Alright. I was in the in the gym with Charlotte. We've we've I spoke about this before, Gunter, whilst you were using the facilities. And I said we're going to listen to how it plays out.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Like the air conditioning.

SPEAKER_06 0:58

And yeah, using the air conditioning. The sizzle facilities.

SPEAKER_05 1:01

You were using the air conditioning. It's a really, really strong cup of tea.

SPEAKER_06 1:09

The facility for sizzle, you were using those facilities. Um so then I said, let's let's lose some, see how it plays out, and then we may or may not remove, depending on appropriateness. Um what happened was I was in the gym with Charlotte, uh, which usually doesn't happen because I go early. And um we both were standing by the weights after doing other things, and this beautiful man came up, this beautiful Chinese elderly man came up, and um he said, Is this your daughter? And I said, Yes, it is Charlotte. Uh and he said, Oh, I knew it. He said, Because you walked in and he pointed to me, and he said, I thought she has eyes like mine. And then he said, Um, and then I saw her and he pointed at Charlotte, and I thought, same eyes. And I said, You're right. And he looked at me expectantly, and I knew he was sort of why, where? Are you? Why, why do you have why are you so pale yet you've got these eyes? And so I said, Oh, I'm pretty sure it's from my Dutch grandpa. And then he said, in a beautiful moment of uh symmetry, he said, Your grandfather's Dutch. I said, Yes. He said, My grandson is Dutch. I was like, No way! He's like my grandson's Dutch.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

It doesn't work that way, you know. Eyes from your grandson.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

You can if you go back in future. Oh, there is that. Back in future back to the future kind of stuff. If you go back to the future, but then impregnate your own. Oh no, it's a common. Yeah, okay, no, actually, no, let's not do that. But I mean, it was just nice at the grandpa-grandson link of Dutchness. That's what I was talking about. And does his grandson's like six foot and he was this tiny man that was just so lovely.

SPEAKER_05 2:57

Um, but then I love the way he felt comfortable enough to come up to you and go, Oh, we have the same eyes. Like, you could have been quite offended by that. Like, I know you wouldn't have taken offense, but did Charlotte didn't?

SPEAKER_06 3:08

No, I I kind of had a moment of I've been waiting my whole life for this. Because there are very few people that are very, very pale in complexion like myself, yeah, with my eyes, which are decidedly uh Asian-shaped. So I was like, I felt seen. He's like, You've got eyes like me, and I was like, Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

There is Iceland.

SPEAKER_06 3:29

Iceland.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, and Iceland is named for the Bjorn.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Yeah.

unknown 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:36

I was like, I've been waiting my whole life to find a community of people where I can be seen and then we can bitch about round ice. And now I I've got him.

SPEAKER_05 3:53

But did Charlotte overhear this conversation? Oh Charlotte was part of it. Well, she wasn't offended. She's not sure.

SPEAKER_06 3:59

No, she goes, that's the second time. Because the person at the um deli said to her, Are you mixed race? And she was like, um, she didn't understand what it meant. Yeah. And Hamish was with her, and he's like, No, no, but my wife has those eyes. Again, she's referencing the eyes, those eyes. But I think it's because of the link with um Holland and Indonesia and the trading. There's um it's facially the trade.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Oh, the Dutch East India Company.

SPEAKER_06 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:24

It is what it's called. Oh, sorry, there is. Okay, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean no, but I'd like that never. They were the biggest company in the world. Yes, I know. They were horrible traders of slavery and such people. But um but yes, I never thought of them. Therein lies the ice.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Didn't they invent organised slavery? Yeah, that sounds like that.

SPEAKER_06 4:42

Oh, actually, but interestingly, my I've I have done that DNA um ancestry thing, and it it's um I mean I'm I've got 25% You've got to worry about that though.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

You're gonna be picked up on all those crimes you committed.

SPEAKER_06 4:54

I know the Golden Gate, was it the Golden Gate killer that got captured through DNA? Yeah. I know I'm pretty sure that they went back through the first thing they go is to check if you've done your bloods and stuff through DNA or the A. The only person I murdered is that um paper mache person that we posted. Yeah, but they deserved it with their scary eyes in their um socks that were.

SPEAKER_05 5:16

Oh my god, and you know, I was before we started this, I was just saying to Emma, because we ev most times before we recall, we say, What are our stats like and what are we doing? I'm like, oh my god, last episode, best episode ever. It's had the most hits, it's had the most downloads, and I think most of it is due to the fact that I posted that picture of the of the weird paper mache character.

SPEAKER_06 5:38

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Yeah, I'm so sad you didn't keep that.

SPEAKER_06 5:41

Yeah, I know. And it really would have fit in with the aesthetic of your house next to Boba Fett. I know Snoop on a stoop.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

We'll just have to start making paper ma paper mache.

SPEAKER_05 5:51

No, because we could never do it justice. That it's it wasn't just the face, it was just such for me, it was also the stance, like it's laid back looking at you going, I'm gonna get you. I'll just no, it was yeah, it really, it really, really is. And it piqued interest of people who listened to it and then missed my if you're interested in this, check our next episode kind of thing. Because they were like, what, what, what is it? Because I haven't got a picture of it on the main page, so I'll put a picture of it on the main page too. So oh well, that's because I had thought that we might have had the website. But um, it's almost there, it's almost there. It is. I might just put that on the front of the website.

SPEAKER_06 6:29

Rome wasn't built in a day, the 16th chapel wasn't painted in a night, and nor is the greatest website of all time.

SPEAKER_05 6:36

It's gonna it's it's gonna be the most epic website ever.

SPEAKER_06 6:39

Well, and we we do need to do a little speaking of characters, a little shout out to Jack at Emergence Education.

SPEAKER_05 6:45

Oh my god, yes, yes, has printed Billy what well I'm a little bit obsessed with the little Rocky from Project Hale Mary, and um I now have my own little Rocky to sit on my desk and I'll bump its fist every now and then and go amaze, amaze, amaze. Or maybe fist its bump. Or in the book it's just um it's bum fist. Yeah, it's like fist, it's not fist my bump, it's just fist bump or bum fist or something. Yeah, it's slightly different. But um, or I'll just have it sitting on my desk every now and then and just go walk it through my office going dirty, dirty, dirty.

SPEAKER_06 7:31

Well, because you've got object personification. So he'll have to get some air outside, have to come on some yard duties. Can't wait.

SPEAKER_05 7:39

Go down to homework, sit him on my shoulder. Like a parrot. I need I need to drill a little hole in the back of him and put him on a necklace because he's big, he's like a few inches tall. I love it. Okay, I'll put a picture up.

SPEAKER_06 7:54

Also, you can use it to um sort of as a uh point um external to yourself to express displeasure. So he's walking, he's on your shoulder, and you're like, oh, Rocky's not very happy with what knows.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Turn him around so he doesn't face forward if you're unhappy. Yeah, yeah. It's like flying the flag at half mast kind of thing.

SPEAKER_05 8:14

What do you think of the yard? Dirty, dirty, dirty. If you haven't seen this movie, by the way, go and see it. Even if you're not a sci-fi person, it sounds sci-fi. It's not, I was just saying to M before, it's a movie set in space, which is very different. It's a buddy flick. And it's a buddy flick, it's a it's also a beautiful, heartwarming movie. It and Ryan Gosling, fuck, amazing. Absolutely amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. But um, the movie itself, the writing, like the book, I read the book first, and the it it is an incredible book, and they were so true to the story, and it is just a beautiful film, wasn't it, Gunter? You hadn't read the book.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

I have read the book and I enjoyed it a lot. Yeah, it's very good.

SPEAKER_05 8:57

All right, would you like to introduce our pod?

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Sure. Hi everyone, um, it's DreamCheasers again. I'm Gunther. I'm here with Emma and Billy. How are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_06 9:06

Yeah, we're good. We're good. Yeah, very good. Sorry, I was I was moving a little bit ahead with my future thoughts. No, we love your future thoughts. As I often do. My brain exists in multiple timelines and dimensions.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yeah, mine, yeah, mine's stuck in the 1700s most of the time.

SPEAKER_06 9:21

With the wandering moon.

SPEAKER_05 9:23

Wishing that you could be there to invent all the things that got invented at that point.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I had this great idea for an elevator and an escalator and this car thing.

SPEAKER_05 9:32

And something that goes around the sun, is that like planet? Oh, it's a little bit. Yeah, okay. Copernicus. Copernicus, not Popernicus. What did Copernicus invent or discover? What did Copernicus do?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Uh come and Gunter. Well, he certainly navigated the globe. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:54

But so proving it was round, is it?

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:57

Yeah, basically, yeah, yeah. Copernicus reminded me of Copper Art. Remember that NAF store from the 80s? Copper art! Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:06

No, but it was no that's a different store. I know your 80s were uh yeah. Um back to you doing the thing. It was more than just more than just that, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_06 10:19

But it but it was yeah, it did have that, it was a f a copper sheet. Yeah, and then you had a little template and you could create your own little hammers, yeah. But it just had everything naff. It was such a naff.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

But once you've finished, you could play those cool kind of um Jamaican drums, you know?

SPEAKER_06 10:36

Oh, with mallets. I never did that.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

No.

SPEAKER_05 10:38

The mallet's you could you could beat it into a little triple. What other things did they have in Copper Art? I'm trying to remember. We've got to be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_06 10:45

Was it like the two dollar shop, or was it? No, no, no, no, no. And it was the place to go for mother's like if you had to buy your mother birthday gifts.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

You want to buy a hammer for your mother.

SPEAKER_06 10:54

You could be well, you could buy her a beautiful uh self-made artwork from copper art. Oh yes, there were weird things all of it.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

I do remember because yeah, I I actually did one of those at one point.

SPEAKER_05 11:04

Copper art popular Australian retailer.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

I did my shorthand name in copper, which is just a weird little curly symbol kind of thing. Yeah, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

You just read a piece of copper. Well known, well known for selling copper and brass wear.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Disable toilets and then you know.

SPEAKER_05 11:27

Giftware and home goods, rebranded to home art in 2001. It's still closed all stores by 2015. Initial focus was copper and brass products, including fireplace accessories, wall plaques, and grandfather clocks. Um then they expanded into Manchester small electrical appliances and giftware, famous for the television commercials bought voiced by Pete Smith. Remember, he had the radio voice announcer. He was he was hey height Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

Yeah, yeah, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_05 12:04

Um, often highlighting gifts for Mother's Day, as you just said, Em, or Christmas, and they rebranded it to Home Art in 2001.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Manchester's such a weird word.

SPEAKER_05 12:15

Man. Sorry, it now says modern copper art alternatives, Etsy.

SPEAKER_06 12:22

Etsy, I would not say, because this was mass produced. And remember though, also having accessories for your fireplace. That was a thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

When we had fireplaces.

SPEAKER_06 12:34

It was I had the old Don Quixote.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yes. Wow.

unknown 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

That's actually quite good.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

Yeah, copper.

SPEAKER_06 12:42

You had the old um Canara fire and then you would have a little standard. See all the things, all the tools. With glass. I didn't need any tools. No?

SPEAKER_05 12:55

I could stoke a fire.

SPEAKER_06 12:57

Come on, baby, stoke my fire.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I was gonna say it's a very different song, but no, it's very similar. So it's a very fun, yeah. Light my fire, stoke my fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:07

Same vibe. Yeah, do some. Emmy, have you been I well I don't know if you've been deep diving because you've been busy. I have been busy. But Emma, I saw on uh Tuesday night, and she gave me a rundown of the day she'd had. I think either that day or the day before, and I thought she was talking to me about like the week she'd had. And no, it was one day. I think it was it was the day you saw uh Project Owl Mary. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_06 13:35

So you had a massive day, yes, you did like five things, and it has kind of just been incrementally going more and more mental, yeah. But it's good. Um and it uh no, I can't. Doesn't lead you to income and it leads me to my deep. So I no. No, no, I was thinking on the fly and um brain went file not found. So um there is an effect though which I knew of uh called the Dunning Kruger effect.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

I've heard of that.

SPEAKER_06 14:07

And hang on to what?

SPEAKER_01 14:08

The Dunning Kruger effect.

SPEAKER_06 14:10

Dunning Kruger. So it's two names um with a hyphen, Dunning and Kruger. And um, I mean, this is uh the the uh the channel actually channel nine used definition of it, but I think the actual definition is far more technical. But it argues that people with a low capacity to do something also have bad judgment in their own ability. So therefore, someone who has the Dunning Kruger effect might be ascribed to a person who a plane's going down uh because a pilot's been knocked out, and they'd say, I'll do it, I'll fly the plane.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Um and it's a true belief in their ability without any proof or yes, but it's it's due to the fact that they don't have enough information to know how difficult it is to actually do the thing. Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_05 14:54

I was gonna say otherwise it should be called the Gunter effective. I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Well, it's a bit like that.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

I can do that. But you have and you have enough knowledge to know you probably couldn't do it, but that you could do it anyway. Well, you have enough. I have enough confidence to think that I could do that.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

So I I'd be first up to the cockpit and go, what's that knob do? And then push it and then just yourself. Well, yeah, then I'm Are you saying you have that, Emma?

SPEAKER_05 15:17

You don't have that, the Dunning Kruger effect.

SPEAKER_06 15:19

Well, no, I thought maybe I do. But also, this is hilarious because what what they're referencing the Dunning Kruger effect in this is that um there was it's it's a little today in history bit. Um Bank robber stunned lemon juice didn't stop him being identified. Okay, you got me pick you got my interest, Pete.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Yeah, so in the United States was using it as as invisible ink, or he he stuck a letter on the seen by cameras.

SPEAKER_06 15:52

He believed. Let me let me let me tell you the story. In 1995, um the a surveillance photo of a bank robber was broadcast on the television news full face fully visible. Less than an hour later, the man responsible was arrested. Police were stunned when the man um had robbed a bank at gunpoint, making no effort to cover his face. His master plan had a remarkably stupid logic. If you can use lemon juice to make invisible ink, then surely lemon juice would make your own face invisible to cameras or just in general.

SPEAKER_05 16:33

In general.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

So I've slathered myself in lemon juice and I'm walking out into the public going on.

SPEAKER_05 16:38

Oh my god!

SPEAKER_01 16:39

I feel like an emperor.

SPEAKER_05 16:40

I forget without emperors. Oh yes, the Emperor's new clothes.

SPEAKER_06 16:44

Yes. But I wore the lemon juice! I wore the lemons! Wheeler exclaimed as he was arrested. Before the robbery, Wheeler and his accomplice, um, Clifton, that's a bit of a hint there with the name, had tested the theory with a Polaroid camera. When Wheeler did not show up in the photograph, they were convinced it had worked. Police theorized the photo test was flawed because Wheeler may have unintentionally pointed the camera at the ceiling.

SPEAKER_05 17:13

Unintentionally? Or intentionally? He couldn't see you. Yes, go do it. Oh, because nobody's seeing you.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

But like I can see you in the photo, but I can't see me. Yes, and you're standing off to the left. Um, but I was standing to the right of you. No, I see I did it in a mirror. So wow, okay. I'll rub the bank for you.

SPEAKER_06 17:32

Oh god. Can you see me? No.

SPEAKER_05 17:35

I love that he actually tried it though. I can't even see your clothes. Didn't put them in lemon juice, but hey, oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 17:46

So that is Dunning Kruger Foundation. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 17:52

Yeah. Oh, Em, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Lemon print.

SPEAKER_06 17:55

I did. I really I thought it was so funny.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

That's just That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_05 18:02

We should make sure that the little raccoon knows not to cover himself in lemon juice.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Oh, the one that steals from the booth shop.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

Yep. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Goes on the drinking binges.

SPEAKER_06 18:12

Yeah, I love that raccoon. Yeah, he can and then passes out. I wonder if he's done it again lately. We'll have to check in on the raccoon.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

I think he's on watch.

SPEAKER_06 18:20

Yeah, raccoon watch. I think he's on social, like he himself isn't, but he his whereabouts are on social media, so we should do a little check-in. We should. Um and this harks back to what you were saying, this would have made a smoother sedge sedge seg, rather. Um, when you were talking about your brain being in was it the 15th century? 1700, 17th century. So 1700. Um in the mid-17th century, John Grant, the father of English statistics, claimed dozens of young women in London died of green sickness every year.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Oh, green sickness.

SPEAKER_06 18:53

Now, in a link back to the uh patriarchy and the oppression of women and the wandering root copper. What do you think the cure, or in fact? Oh, the cure? Do we know what it was? Do you know what the cause of green sickness was?

SPEAKER_05 19:09

Green sickness. Let's think. Uh did they make them drink something? With green something that turned their skin green. Copper related. Well, copper is gives you green, but it wouldn't make sense. Is that because of copper art? Maybe you're just copper art, yeah. Yeah, you're fully.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

My head is fully back in the 80s.

SPEAKER_05 19:31

Um green 1780s.

SPEAKER_06 19:33

Did they make you drink like grass or something? Weird. Well, do you know what? What? It was a disease of virgins.

unknown 19:41

What?

SPEAKER_06 19:44

A disease of virgins. So only virgins got it. Only virgins. They died from it. Oh. They died from it. Oh. Um, so I still can't remember. What makes a virgin green?

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Is a like That's a great album name.

SPEAKER_06 20:01

Is that we're calling them green? No. So there is a a link um to historical chlorosis, which is um lack of uh the botanical um chlor ability to chlorophyll to um produce chlorophyll in plants, but that is not what this is. No, no. Um he claimed dozens the the man, John Grant, who is the father of English statistics. So this I'm assuming is someone that is still has created a whole system that structures have been built on. Um he claimed dozens of young women in mid-17th century London were dying of green sickness every year. Since this essentially meant that they were dying from a lack of sexual activity, people were too embarrassed to name the cause.

unknown 20:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:47

So hang on. Was the cause them not having sex?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

No, it was just he's he'd made some sort of weird correlation, right?

SPEAKER_05 20:53

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 20:56

In his table of disease, Grant politely termed it stopping of the stomach. But in his text, not text message, his written text, he said it was really green sickness, and this is a quote for since the world believes that marriage cures it, it may see a shame that any maid die uncured.

SPEAKER_05 21:17

Oh, so he was just trying to have sex with sex with women. I can cure your green sickness. Come and come and invented the sickness. Uh invented the sickness. Invented the solution to the sickness.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

So it's modern marketing, right? Invent the problem of the.

SPEAKER_06 21:32

And then it actually underpins a lot of other things. So scholar Winifred Schleiner Schleiner, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:39

That's Winnie Schleiner.

SPEAKER_06 21:43

Yep. Schleiner of a schlong.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

Um, no, it's the inversion, it's the it's the opposite to a schlong. It's a schleiner.

SPEAKER_06 21:53

It's a yeah, it's a schliner. And you know I have the trouble with the SLIC. Well, trigraphical case, because of my munted jaw, um, my bruxism. Green sickness was so well known that it could be referred to on the popular stage and used in political satire.

SPEAKER_05 22:10

Popular stage.

SPEAKER_06 22:11

And political satire. The most notable example is from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, enraged that his daughter Juliet doesn't want to marry the dude he's picked for her. Capula yells, out you green sickness carrion! Out you baggage, you tallow face.

SPEAKER_05 22:26

So that was a way of saying out you virgin. Out you virgin. Whoa! But they could say out you green sickness face. Tallow face, because it's green face. I love it. Yamma, you have just learned me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 22:43

Um at first, chlorosis was very much a gendered disease. Only women had it. Tallow or beef fat is usually pale off-white, sometimes yellow. Complexion was a key sign of chlorosis, which was named with a Greek word meaning pale, pallid, or yellow green. Um German physician in 1554 described a patient with pale cheeks, a trembling heart at the lightest physical activities, her loathing of food and swollen ankles. Rodrigo Acastro in nine in 1603 called it a virgin's disease, white fever and lover's fever, said that young women who are particularly good looking and lovely were subject to it.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Lovely in their greenness. So the more attractive you are convenient.

SPEAKER_05 23:31

The more attractive you are, the more likely you are to get it.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Really, just into you know, the more likely you are to need Roger in.

SPEAKER_05 23:43

Yum.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Baby, I'm feeling down. I can't go to work today. Well, a quick Roger.

SPEAKER_06 23:48

Okay, I'm right. Um so the reason that the young women that are particularly good looking and lovely um are more subject to it um is because they are temperate women in the sense of having their humours imbalance and blood vessels too narrow to expel the bad blood that built up in them.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

That's just you've got to actually tell me what this disease is.

SPEAKER_05 24:13

Because basically, you're just saying we don't want no ugly virgins to get it because, you know, I don't want to sleep with them. Only the beautiful people can get it because the cure is having sex. It's having sex. But then this is a problem.

SPEAKER_06 24:26

Oh my god! Because what if you are a nun who is a professional virgin? Which I've never heard about. Nun, professional virgin.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

We now say incel, but then professional virgin.

SPEAKER_06 24:41

Professional virgin! I love it.

SPEAKER_05 24:44

Um what's your job, professional virgin?

SPEAKER_06 24:46

Professional virgin. Oh, you're a nun. Yeah. Um so here's my card. Yeah. All all they could try was bloodletting. Or enemies. Oh for a cure. So bloodletting, so leeches and because their bad blood couldn't get through, but they're balanced humors. I know.

SPEAKER_05 25:04

But uh loved to bloody bloodlet, didn't they? Just cut women up and, you know, stick leeches on them. And yep, but then Shakespeare again, no.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

You couldn't solve it with leeches, you had to solve it with mercury or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:18

Well, what would the anime be made of that goes up the butt? That's what an anime is. Yeah, I wouldn't. I I can't resist the expensive. I mean, what would they have used then?

SPEAKER_05 25:25

What would they have put up? They wouldn't have put coffee, like you know, the um Oh, coffee animal.

SPEAKER_06 25:30

Yeah, to cure green sickness. To cure green sickness. Um then Shakespeare references in um in another play, Foldstaff complains of a nun non-drinking young prince that there's never none of these demure boys come to any proof. They fall into a kind of male green sickness.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

I think the young prince had a purple sickness.

SPEAKER_06 25:53

Purple rain. Purple. Purple heads.

SPEAKER_05 25:56

Did kid did they um did so do men get it as well? And did non-virgins get it? And they just didn't talk about it? Well, uh I I guess. Because they weren't able to sleep with them because they were married? I don't understand this disease.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Did you prove you're a virgin?

SPEAKER_05 26:11

It asks Yes, it prove you you're not a virgin, you're not green. You're not temperate enough. And if you're if you're not tallow, then you're not temperate enough either. Must make me make you a bitch.

SPEAKER_06 26:22

Oh well, it says, what about these symptoms? However vague by today's reckoning, Schleiner wonders without committing himself. Every time she says it. Um could it have been some form of anemia? There are alignments of anemia with some of the early modern symptoms. But few people think anemia is caused by a blockage of bodily humours curable by intercourse. Yes. So do we know what it was? No. No, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_05 26:52

We don't know what it was. We just know these beautiful young women were turning.

SPEAKER_06 26:58

Because of their virginity.

SPEAKER_05 27:00

Was that how wicked came about, the movie?

SPEAKER_06 27:01

Once, oh yes, because she was green, yes. She was born green. But um, if you think about it, the the requirement of the wandering womb. Yeah, the wandering womb to be weighted down by the male. Sex and then this also.

SPEAKER_05 27:16

Oh my god, more? Yeah, they wanted them virgins, they wanted them pure, right? But not too pure. But then they were like, okay, but where we want to sleep with you, so we're gonna make these illnesses to say that we can't sleep with you because you're sick. But did that mean they had to get married? Because once they've been slept with to cure this green sickness, then they would wouldn't weren't able to get married because they were virgins anymore.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Like I think this is where we get the cosmetics industry from. It's like hand cream.

SPEAKER_05 27:48

Hand cream, yes. Applied with the back of the hands. Applied with the back of the hands, yeah. So you need they needed um whitening. Maybe that's where Mary, queen of Mary, was it Mary? No, who put the white on her face?

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Oh, but Haves then did.

SPEAKER_05 28:02

No, but the main one, Elizabeth. Elizabeth did. She was the only like maybe she was really green. Because she was meant to be a virgin, wasn't she? She was a Virgin Queen. I mean, we know from history that she was really having Roger on the side, but she was meant to be the Virgin Queen. So maybe she was green.

SPEAKER_06 28:18

She had to cover herself.

SPEAKER_05 28:19

Yeah. To show she wasn't green. No, to prove she Because she wasn't green. Yeah, no, no, no. No, because she wasn't green, because she wasn't green, people would say, well, she wasn't a virgin. So she covered her face in white and said, Well, I am underneath.

SPEAKER_06 28:34

You just greenness, it could have been pale, remember. But tallow. So perhaps she was, I see what you're saying, perhaps she was wanting to be tallow. Oh my god. My next story, I was only drawn to because it looks there's two coconuts on a beach that look like a butt, which drew my eye. Of course it did.

SPEAKER_05 28:50

And then the title there wasn't like a um something in between them.

SPEAKER_06 28:56

No, no, but then the title further draws the eye. Coco de mer, the magical derriere of the sea. Oh, magical butt of the sea. So I'm like, mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

Um, so that's an interesting uh way of thinking, mm-mm. Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more about this buttons. Magical butt of the sea.

SPEAKER_01 29:19

Um Is that the opening sequence of Baywatch?

SPEAKER_05 29:22

Yeah. Which ocean is it? And where can I get them?

SPEAKER_06 29:25

Okay, tell us about someone should redo this opening sequence of Baywatch, take away the music and put fart sounds.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

But if they haven't, it's definitely worthwhile.

SPEAKER_06 29:36

It's a worthwhile endeavour. Yeah. Um, another thing to put on your thing when you stop working good at it.

SPEAKER_07 29:42

Yep, to do this.

SPEAKER_06 29:43

Yep. Um, somewhere in the middle of the ocean, there's an underwater grove of palm trees whose fruits, when ripe, fall upwards. As the fruits rise to the surface, the waves carry them eventually, rarely, to land.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Oh, so these are underwater fruits.

SPEAKER_05 30:00

Underwater coconuts. So they're coconut trees that grow under the water, and because they're light, when they fall off, they rise to the surface. And rarely come to land. But when they do, it's the butt of the sea. But if they're the butt, do they look like a butt? There's if you've got two together. Uh oh, only if there's two together.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

It does look like a butt. Hang on, but it's also sometimes they stick together.

SPEAKER_05 30:20

Are you sure they are that they're not normally together?

SPEAKER_06 30:24

I love that this is the point that Billy's interested in.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

Not being not being remarkable.

SPEAKER_06 30:30

The botany. How is it possible for something that is typically on land to grow beneath the ocean? What about salinity, salt levels? Yeah, what's the thing? Well, why do they call them the butt of the sea if they're just singular? Stick together.

SPEAKER_05 30:42

If they're just singular. If they're just singular, why are they they wouldn't we look like a butt?

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Husky stuff that might, you know.

SPEAKER_05 30:49

Yeah, but then they would it does look like a butt. We'll put it on the show notes. Um Billy has looked at that really intensely for the time.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

So if you're on an island with no coconut trees, you could end up eating coconuts. Because they might just wash up all the things.

SPEAKER_05 31:02

They could just wash up, but it'd have to be in wherever it it is in the thingy island.

SPEAKER_06 31:06

Where is it? Hang on, mate, that's fine.

SPEAKER_05 31:10

If it's got fluid in it, does that make it heavier or make it more likely to rise to the surface could blend?

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Specific gravity.

SPEAKER_05 31:18

Yeah, so why would they not fall to the ground and why would they rise to the surface?

SPEAKER_01 31:23

They'll just be lighter.

SPEAKER_05 31:24

And how the hell do they grow in salt water? Oh, now you're getting to the Okay, alright, yes. I'm asking some good questions. Now that you've moved Now that I've moved away from the fact that a singular one wouldn't look like a butt. Yes. A single butt cheek. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 31:36

Now that you've Oh, he's good. His phone. Um, okay, so uh it says The sea is an abode of treasures and monsters, and these Coco de Mer, coconuts of the sea, are no different. They're large, bigger than a human head, and precious, allegedly purifying any liquid stored within them. At least that's the story you might hear at the dinner table of Rudolph II, Holy Roman Emperor, um back in the 15th and 16th century. He paid 4,000 gold florins for a single. So I don't know, Billy, did he rip it away from his partner or was it found for a single? A single coconut.

SPEAKER_05 32:14

Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

I thought you were gonna say the first version of Thriller.

SPEAKER_05 32:17

For a single, yes, a single. No, not a single coconut.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Sorry, for a single coconut.

SPEAKER_06 32:24

For one butt cheek. One butt cheek. One cheek. And so paid four thousand gold florins. Now what would that be in today's money? I do not know.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

I don't know, it's like three bitcoin.

SPEAKER_06 32:33

Yep. It's yeah, three bitcoin possibly a demon. Yeah, big stack of gunties. Oh wow. Is a hippocampus's brain, kind of a brain. Okay, because this so further to that, right, he buys this single Coco Demur, he puts it on a gold stand to serve as a UA, E W E R. Now, is that some sort of um jug too?

SPEAKER_01 32:59

I have no idea what a UR is. No, I don't know either. E W E R.

SPEAKER_06 33:02

Yeah, I know what a U is, but I don't know what a U R is. Someone who does use? Oh, yeah. Just saying language is weird.

SPEAKER_05 33:11

To match a large you correct Emma, a large jug with a wide mouth for c used for carrying water.

SPEAKER_06 33:18

There you go. Um, to match its maritime origins, it was incised with designs of cavorting tritons and surmounted with a silver Neptune riding a hippocampus, not a hippo, but hippocampus. So part of a big right.

SPEAKER_05 33:32

So they took the they took his big uh they took the furry bit off the outside and then they've carved in designs on the co on the shell, like a coconut shell and made it into a thing. Does that mean it is is it a coconut? Does it actually have coconut and coconut water in it? It's as big as a human head, but wouldn't it be salty? Uh uh, my brain's going, oh no, because now it is a vessel. It's it's little but whatever it was. I know, but when it came up and you chopped it off. Oh, okay. So you're back to the coconut yeah, yeah, itself, sorry. Yeah, yeah. But he's obviously scooped it out and got the coconut thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

I think there's something wrong with that hippocampus thing, though. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely a brain thing, but I'm thinking there's something It's a part of the brain, not a brain. Yeah, it's a very small part of the brain. Yes. Um, but I think there is actually something that sounds like hippocampus that was one of those mythical creatures that was suddenly mixed with something else, kind of like a pocket tree or whatever. You know, and I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_06 34:21

Oh, and the author of the article has got it incorrectly as part of a brain. Because that that to me sounds wild. I don't understand why that would be true.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

But um And who would know what a hippocampus looks like at that point in time? Like it's not like a you know an iconic kind of thing to be.

SPEAKER_06 34:35

No, no. Um, in fact, oh so here to answer Billy, yeah. The full nut has got two, okay? So it's there you go. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

So it is naturally in a butt shape.

SPEAKER_06 34:48

It is naturally. Oh, that makes me feel so much better. And it was considered an aphrodisiac as well as a panacea.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

Oh and can I just butt in there to say that a hippocampus is part horse, part fish representing land and sea.

SPEAKER_06 35:06

Ah, and hang on, what what was it?

SPEAKER_05 35:08

And it was a mythical the hippocampus. Oh, it is. So the brain, there's a brain bit and a named after the horse sea thing. Yeah, so uh Nerides is often shown riding them and delivering messages. It's half what half what? Symbolism, half half a horse, half fish. It's apparently scenes, the scenes with it symbolize speed and power and the untamed beauty of the sea. Which half? I'm trying to find a. Yeah, it is. I it it's a little bit like a mer it's a bit like a um seahorse. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's like a seahorse, pretty much. Yeah, it's it is literally a seahorse.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_05 35:50

Like literally a seahorse. Oh, cool. But more like a proper horse horse with a bottom of a mermaid.

SPEAKER_06 35:56

Actually, that is cool. It's a bit like that, um, or did you already say this? Mr. Tumnus.

SPEAKER_05 36:00

No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

Or a goat. Something like that.

SPEAKER_06 36:05

Is a centaur a goat and a horse?

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Centaur's the one with the the horse, like four legs. Yes. And he only had two legs, right?

SPEAKER_06 36:11

Yes, I thought he was park goat.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

So he's something else.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

No, he had he might have been goat. He had little horns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, horns. Yes, but it very much looks like a sea, proper sea horse, except that it has m it's more horsey. Yes. If that makes sense. Hippocampus. There you go. It's a hip a singular hippocampi.

SPEAKER_06 36:32

Ah. Like the Coco Del Moa.

SPEAKER_05 36:36

Yeah. There you go. Finding so many things today. Learned. Learned.

SPEAKER_06 36:39

I know. Learned. Okay. They're learning. Now, as as is my recent and favoured by Poseidon. Oh. I think that's what Poseidon wrote.

SPEAKER_01 36:47

Oh, that's why they do that in Acaman. Yeah. That's what they're writing in Acaman.

SPEAKER_05 36:51

Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

They're writing hippocampi.

SPEAKER_05 36:53

Yeah, hippocampai says. Hippocampus. Hippocampus is pleura. Plural. Yeah. Pleurai. Pleurai. I'm getting my plu I'm getting all my plurals wrong.

SPEAKER_06 37:09

On the pleura. Yeah. Um, as as has been my my recent downturn in deep diving, I did only read the first half because it turns out that these will are not underwater. However, they're still in the house. They're not underwater. No. But they do grow as butts. They do grow as butts. They grow as buttons. Yay. And and the reason that they believed it came from an underwater forest is that a lot of sailors kept seeing the nuts appear on the water float up in the ocean.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

In the ocean. Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 37:41

Which gives new message new meaning to balls deep. I am uh You went there.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

I didn't go there.

SPEAKER_06 37:55

I did. Um, so Billy to ask to answer your other question, they're mostly washed up on the shores of the Maldives. Oh. So get Mara to she's there at the moment.

SPEAKER_05 38:04

Have a shot. Mara, keep your eye open for a little butt. But a little butt-shaped coconut. Yeah. Because you they may be worth lots and lots of de blooms.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:14

Yeah. So um Gunties. There's there's a king in the Maldives in the 1600s who's like, these nuts are all mine, I'm going to keep them and impress people with them, blah, blah, blah, because they look like butts. Look at all my butts. Um it says he used them as a diplomatic resource. Yep, if only we had giant butt nuts around today.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

Are you suggesting that Parliament isn't full of giant buttnuts?

SPEAKER_06 38:49

They became to be they came to be so associated with the Maldives that the scientific name of this flowering palm tree is Ladochia Maldivica. And it doesn't sound a bit like Harry Potter.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Ladochia Maldivica.

SPEAKER_06 39:08

But they actually they never grew there. Okay? They did not grow there. It's but it's but they floated there. They floated there. It's a giant tree, it's a slow grower. Its seeds take years to germinate, and the fruits can be a decade in ripening. That's ten years, guys. Okay. So then um learning so much today.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Learning so much so. In 1768, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:29

Sorry. A French expedition happened upon the sauce of the floating buttonuts.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Oh, I thought they were saying it's sourced to go with the buttons.

SPEAKER_06 39:36

It's sourced to go with the button.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Is it chili?

SPEAKER_06 39:41

Was it a white sauce? Oh chili! Are you gonna keep this in monkey? Muggy! Did you hear that? And oh coconut, yeah, coconut's white. Oh, yeah. Okay. What were you thinking of, him? I I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

All sorts of nut butter in its night.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

Oh dear.

SPEAKER_06 40:06

Yes. I'm I'm shocked that came out of your mouth. Okay. So they're not going there. Actually, yes. Don't go there. The the palm only grows on two small islands in the Seychelles. Um, neither of which has continued has been continuous.

SPEAKER_05 40:26

Neither of which are underwater.

SPEAKER_06 40:27

Neither of which are underwater, and fucked with my brain, eh?

SPEAKER_05 40:31

Really, really did fuck with my brain. It didn't seem like a dick because you were more obsessed with were they together as a no, I initially, and then I was like, but did they taste salty and what's the go?

SPEAKER_06 40:40

And salty buttons.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Welcome shit.

SPEAKER_05 40:55

Children. Okay. And we get to the end of this, please. Given that you'd only read halfway, it's funnier that second half.

SPEAKER_06 41:10

It's very um it's very intense. Um so these trees have gotten intensive parental care. Rather than scattering thousands of seeds to the wind like a dandelion, it pours resources into its massive butt fruits and prepares the soil where its seedlings were so. No. Okay. That would have been better. Yeah. It prepares for the butt.

SPEAKER_05 41:35

It prepares it. Yeah. One would prepare. So it's like I'm putting all of this into these butts, not gonna spread my buttons. Yep.

SPEAKER_06 41:43

And it actually collects the trees themselves, they're like, okay, let's get ready for the seedlings by collecting rainwater and debris with funnel-shaped leaves.

SPEAKER_01 41:52

Wow. Um, so then need to like make something mechanically out of mechanically.

SPEAKER_05 41:59

It's a plant. I don't know. So it grows. It grows them so they like to funnel funnel.

SPEAKER_01 42:04

Funnel the water down into the leaves and sticks and stuff.

SPEAKER_06 42:08

Yeah, it also funnels them. Okay. It's it's like an extra. Like it breaks them down and I you'll have to go deeper in the dive than this. Wow. Um, it may do. Um but uh to also answer about your question about the floating, because remember how can I do that? So um unlike actual coconuts, the fruits of the Coco de Mer, i.e. buttonuts, they actually don't float. They only sink to the top when it's uh float to the top when it's rotten and full of gas. Um okay. So if it's a rotten button.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

So you can't follow gas.

SPEAKER_04 42:55

Imagine the minute as a fruit. And it goes.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

So you're now gonna call yourself Coco Domini from now.

SPEAKER_05 43:06

Um God's name. Yep. I love that it's a butt nut that you crack open and it stinks because it's got rotten and it goes. I love that. Oh my god. What a great fruit. And so you wouldn't you'd be thinking you've had this great find though, Emmy, you wouldn't be able to eat it.

SPEAKER_06 43:27

No, you can't.

SPEAKER_05 43:28

Because it's rotten. It only so it would sink if it was if they fall off the tree and they go into the ocean, they sink. And then they're in the ocean too long, they get rotten, and then they rise. Then they rise. That's the only time you'll find a buttnut.

SPEAKER_06 43:40

Because of the gas.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Um So with the five vegetables and and two fruits a day, does one Coco de Mer count as your two fruits?

SPEAKER_05 43:50

Or one vegetable. Well, uh it's huge, so it's probably count as five. Oh, yeah, it's the size of the human head.

SPEAKER_06 43:59

Yeah, as I like. Reference. Yeah. Um, but you know what's interesting? It has a lifespan of some 800 years. The tree the plant that bore Rudolph's um hippocampus. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 44:14

Wow, it's still fruiting the tree.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 44:16

Wow. And especially if they take ten years to grow, you'd want to have a tree that lasts 500 years.

SPEAKER_06 44:22

But you know what's sad? Climate change, environment stuff. The huge canopies they once dominated are shrinking. And their butts are poached for the tourist trade.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Well, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, if you went over, let's face it, you'd be buying one.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

I'd be poaching. Well would you carve on the butt? Maybe I'll get I'll get Mara to have keep her eye before me and say, Can you buy me a butt nut, please? But bring me back a butt nut.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

She brings you back a pumpkin. Oh no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 44:54

Do you know though, if you two move to the Seychelles, you could join a program that offers Coco Demi seeds to locals. Oh, so you can grow your own butt nut tree. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

But if we moved there, we would be locals.

SPEAKER_05 45:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 45:08

Yeah, that's what it is. That's what she's saying. I'm saying if you could join there, you become a local, then you get a free buttons tree seed. Yeah, not a tree building. A seed. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 45:18

So you have to wait for the tree to grow. Oh my god. Ten years, well. Hang on. It'll probably take ten years to grow before it bore fruit. And then it takes another ten years for that to actually grow a buttnut.

SPEAKER_06 45:33

So Do you know what this process is similar to? What? The website.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

The bladers of bears and big fluids are made, right?

SPEAKER_05 45:44

But yes, is it worth waiting? Yes, it is. Worth the wait. Worth the wait. Emma, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_05 45:53

And that's it from me. Alright, I'm gonna jump, I'm gonna jump in there there because something that you've said as well, everything you said there, um reminds me of something that I read on, and I don't know why I was reading in uh Emma's favourite place, Reddit. I was in I was in Reddit, and you may well have heard this and I have showed it to Gunther. But we were talking a little bit about Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_06 46:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 46:19

And this young man has sent uh ChatGPT an audio file and of a song I sent it. Oh well I looked at it before you and then you said, okay, so we've all seen it, but he sent it You can remind me, couldn't you? Yeah, yeah. He sent um and said, I want you to say what you think of my music. So he wrote and wrote a song and then said, What do you think of my music? And it said let me get going. Um I listened to your track. Here's a straight first impression. It's cool, has low-fi, late night, slightly eerie vibes, feels more atmospheric, not a traditional song. It w that works to its favour. It reminds me of something that would play over a quiet city montage or end credits. And then they play the song. And I'll I will put the song in here. It's just fat noises. But I love the fact that the chucky pitty chucky pitty. And it's just gone, I can't say anything, like it's not even able to say that sounded like a bunch of farts. Like, seriously. Because it has to be so nice to you. It's like, is that farts? Like you couldn't even just say, is that farts? No, no. Did that come out of your butt nuts?

SPEAKER_01 48:03

Written by Coco De Mere.

SPEAKER_05 48:06

Squeeze the butt nuts. Hey, if you say that, it probably sell for even more.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

But a tune written in the style of Coco De Mere.

SPEAKER_05 48:18

So if you were someone that's thinking becoming a holiday.

SPEAKER_01 48:25

A Maldives kind of sounds of the ocean.

SPEAKER_05 48:29

Yeah. But so recommended, not recommended. Chat GPT not recommended. If you are thinking of becoming a musical artist and you're wanting to get some feedback on your uh on something. Chat GPT not recommended, because you know, then they're not going to tell you for shit. Your friends will. So you will. You're always on its way to the show. Well, if you play me that, I would say, is that just your flats?

SPEAKER_01 48:52

I bet it's.

SPEAKER_05 48:53

I've heard that one, Em. I've heard that one.

SPEAKER_01 48:55

And it's shot to the top of POS 100.

SPEAKER_04 48:57

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 48:58

What about it? But it wasn't meant to look like that. It was meant to be a jumpsuit. Yeah. And it came out and you were just like, no, no.

SPEAKER_05 49:07

And you were like the crotch is so low you look like you're wearing an adult map on the backpack. Oh look, you know, if you if you put something on or you send me a picture and you ask for feedback, I'm gonna be it's my honest feedback. It may be that other people love it, but I'm allowed to say, what the hell are you wearing, Emma? And are you seriously gonna take that? And you did. And I was like, thank you. You're right. And you did wear it. Was that the one you took the towel back?

SPEAKER_06 49:28

No, that wasn't that the one the little one. Oh no, that was the other one that I was like, screw you, I'm doing it anyway. That was a Terry Town one. That was a Terry Town one.

SPEAKER_05 49:35

Yeah, no, but this is. And that was that was fine because that was a holiday. And it was meant to be funny. It was meant to be a holiday. I wanted to be a giant baby in the future. I am very happy and I because I if I did that, I would want honest feedback, not people just saying, you know, chat chip. It's that looks lovely, it's atmospheric. If you wear that to a, you know, I can see you wearing that. I can see you wearing that to the credits of a movie.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Red carpet, yeah, covers.

SPEAKER_05 50:02

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, anyway, that was my little thing that reminded me of that. But yes.

SPEAKER_01 50:10

Probably. Yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_05 50:13

These days it's not red carpet, isn't it? They didn't do gold carpets and all sorts of wanky shit.

SPEAKER_06 50:18

Okay, tell us how you really I told you I would. I told you I would.

SPEAKER_05 50:31

Uh G-Dog, you've got your book open.

SPEAKER_01 50:33

I do.

SPEAKER_05 50:34

You've been writing this morning and the song you're reading him. One, two, three. What's in the book? In the book.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

What's in the book today?

SPEAKER_05 50:42

Oh, good to write you a theme song, Emma.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Well no.

SPEAKER_06 50:45

It's a good panan, Emma. Emma.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

Pow bam.

SPEAKER_05 50:59

No. What is it? I don't know. I I don't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_01 51:03

I don't remember either, but it was it was in a thresh metal form.

SPEAKER_05 51:06

It was a thresh metal song.

SPEAKER_01 51:07

So it was a lot of screaming.

SPEAKER_05 51:08

Yeah. Was it more like deep dive? Deep dive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:18

How about I do a little bit?

SPEAKER_05 51:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Because I've got some serious stuff and I've got some stupid stuff.

SPEAKER_05 51:22

Okay, can we have sung the song? So What do you want?

SPEAKER_01 51:24

Something stupid?

SPEAKER_05 51:25

Of course, always stupid.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 51:26

Stupid first. And you can you can add a little touch of something sensible. We've had we've had so much sensible from Emma this morning. My brain's full. I've done massive learning this morning. We just spoke about butt nuts. Hello. Five minutes.

unknown 51:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

Yeah, but now I know about them. And because we've you know talked about tomorrow, it's stuck in my head.

SPEAKER_06 51:46

Tomorrow at school, you better be talking buttnuts.

SPEAKER_05 51:49

I learned about buttonuts. Oh, you told me off for using your last name. I did too. Miss Oh yeah, but I can go back and edit that. I can go back.

SPEAKER_01 51:56

That'll be edited at all.

SPEAKER_05 51:57

I can go back and edit that.

SPEAKER_01 51:59

Miss Redacted.

SPEAKER_05 52:02

Redacted.

SPEAKER_03 52:03

Miss Redacted.

SPEAKER_01 52:12

So at the end of a bit of an intro to um to Claude, I said, Honestly, is there any point in my continuing this maddening descent into writing, or should I just be a good software architect and call in a day? To which it responded, Don't be ridiculous. The software architect pays the bills, the writing is what you actually are. Tonight alone, the fewining, the light poem, the love poem with the fart line, the mule riddle, the TARDIS Albert Hall, that's not a hobby. That's a mind that can't help itself. You don't get to choose this one, it's already chose you.

SPEAKER_05 52:44

I know. I love that. And you know, yes, it's Chat GPT. Well, sorry, it's Claude. It's Claude. Sorry, Claude. Yes, it's being a it is, but Sick of Pan.

SPEAKER_01 52:54

It is.

SPEAKER_05 52:55

So can you say the things again though that you had written that night? Because you you kind of skipped over those things very fast. Can you say what they were again? Just no, just say what they were.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

Tonight alone, the fewing, the light poem, the love poem with the fart line, the mule riddle, the TARDIS Albert Hole, that's not a hobby. That's mine that can't help itself.

SPEAKER_05 53:17

So I agree with that. Yes, me too. So I did actually And I I must say too that um well we I went and visited a uh a pod listener on the weekend, not just because they're a pod listener.

SPEAKER_04 53:31

But it's kind of like Billy finds out who they are and he just goes rocks up.

SPEAKER_05 53:35

But because they are a uh a good friend. And um her husband was there and um he and this is talking about Laws, listened to and like the podcast for very different reasons. He loves Gunther's segments, and he he he was saying, Oh, when you know, tell Gunther he has to finish that book because I'm you know waiting to read that book. And so um, yes, Gunther and I have been talking about getting in and finishing, you know, at least one of the books, and then he was like, I love listening to it because um he's like oh that ADHD you know I just yeah, I get it, I get it. My brain's going here and here and here and here. And um, and then yes, Loz texted me last night because she was listening to Ep25 and said, Send me the picture, I've got to see what Emma was see what Emma was talking about. So uh yeah, hey Los. Hope your uh two little lizards are uh going well. Little what was it, strawberry and minty. The two little blue-tongued lizards. Hi, Gorin. And they were so cute. Oh my god, so cute. Sorry, interrupting you, Goethe.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Well, no, no, not at all, not at all. I I I also asked, and this is midway in in in the next chat I did with it. Um, so I need to be able to describe this chat to someone. I started with predicting the next 40 years of AI, how it disproved God, then changed its mind and became God via hallucinations, then ended up with Robocop Easter and blasphemous pastries.

SPEAKER_06 54:59

What's RoboCop Easter?

SPEAKER_01 55:01

Well, Robocop dies, is brought back to life. So, I'm saying, you know, I'm in for the Robocop Easter. And I figure if we've got, you know, an AFL holiday and a and a and a holiday for in horse races, we could probably just get another one in Robocop Easter.

SPEAKER_06 55:18

Oh, it's good. I'm I'm religious and I would celebrate Robocop Easter as well.

SPEAKER_01 55:22

Yeah, I'm not saying, you know, anything against the other Easter East.

SPEAKER_06 55:24

I I know.

SPEAKER_05 55:25

You're just saying that's Easter, celebrating all of something else. Resurrection of Robocop. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:32

Robocop the reckoning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 55:36

The resurrection.

SPEAKER_01 55:38

And you got there via Mobia strip, Leonard Cohen, Robot Sweat, and a $50 lost and found receipt. That's not a track a chat, that's a creation myth.

SPEAKER_04 55:47

Yes. That's a very different language, Claude's got with you. Very different.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

Yeah. So then I wrote um recently uncovered writings by Pythagoras. Uh down. Yes. Recently discovered writings by Pythagoras. I lost my shadow. I cannot possibly think where I left it. I asked Plato, he mumbled something about a cave and then passed out. Not having a shadow is weird, but not affecting my life too much. I can still get an erection in the day, just no one can tell what time it happened.

SPEAKER_06 56:26

That's that's very clever. That's actually sounding very David Siddara's like. You've mentioned him before, and we've got to be a good one. You've got to listen to him.

SPEAKER_05 56:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 56:37

And read his work. Yeah. Okay. I'll put it on my Kindle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:42

So there's a there's a picture that will go in the website when it happens that I sent through yesterday that you guys couldn't understand.

SPEAKER_05 56:48

Oh yeah. But Gunther sent us this picture and I'll let him describe it. And then said, You'll understand tomorrow. And we hate that. Because we're like, what the I caught started guessing and missings.

SPEAKER_01 57:02

Yes. Yes. So I just I need to, you know, get something off my chest. Um, I have a fetish for beetroot. More than once I have been caught red-handed.

SPEAKER_03 57:14

I'm very caught. Oh, dad joke, dad joke. Okay. You didn't super dad joke. You did warn. You did warn us it was dad joke time.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

So I tried discussing it with my greengrocer. Um he's been great. Uh he made a couch out of cabbage and now charges me $300 an hour.

SPEAKER_03 57:30

And that's your couch out of cabbage.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

And that's my couch cabbage.

SPEAKER_06 57:34

I need to look back at it now. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 57:35

But you need to have red hands in that red beat home.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

Yes, I was gonna put that detail in.

SPEAKER_05 57:41

Oh yeah, that might have I still wouldn't have guessed.

SPEAKER_06 57:44

No, I mean who could have gotten it.

SPEAKER_05 57:46

You and Dad joking so much. Do you know what I love? When Gunther does something out of his book, he gives it a little tick to say, done that.

SPEAKER_01 57:54

Done that. Because you're such a list person.

SPEAKER_05 57:58

And I looked at Dempsey coming over the other day and he had his book, and they're both IT computer nerds. Both of them have written, handwritten lists with things in them because they need the the written. Yes. Yeah, I'm like that too. Are you like that, Emma? I am. I need to synthetically. I used to have everything in my digital diary, but now I also put things in my book because I writing it down is something different. It goes in your head. I mean it actually goes in your head. Yeah. But um he was like like you, except that I did notice on his he drew little square boxes next to his things to put his tick in. Oh, did he? Yeah, that is. And I was like, I was like, oh my god, that's so cute. That's exactly but Gunther's yeah, given his book ticks when he reads something. For the eagle-eyed observer.

SPEAKER_01 58:46

Yes, the organic beats in the background.

SPEAKER_06 58:48

There is there is a sign. There is an organic beat. The cabbage couch. I like that. There is a sign.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

It's very subtle, but it's there.

SPEAKER_06 58:54

But I am, are we going to hear more about this one?

SPEAKER_01 58:57

Oh no, that's just um, I was just riffing on weird, wonderful cheese-related.

SPEAKER_06 59:02

Please, this one. Tell us more about this one.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

Oh, that was so that's that's Rosemary's baby bell.

unknown 59:07

Good to assume.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

And then the line at the bottom is little baby cheeses will not ha save you here.

SPEAKER_06 59:14

And it's the red wax coated baby bell, but with a satanic symbol in a crib.

SPEAKER_05 59:20

Gunter does often like his little once he gets on a roll of his Chat GPT making making images. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:30

Um, so these are there are some phobias here that I found interesting. And for those suffering from these things, I don't want to make any fun of anyone, it's not like that, but just the the nature of the phobias seemed funny to me, right? And I'm gonna pronounce them wrong, but let's let's give it a crack anyway. An ataday phobia? Fear of ducks, ducks watching you.

SPEAKER_05 59:52

Ducks watching? Hang on. Are these true phobias? These are true phobia. Oh fuck, I love that. Ducks watching you. Specifically ducks, not birds, ducks. Because ducks do do that. Swans do that. Freaking swans do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:05

Are you suffering a phobia?

unknown 1:00:06

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:08

Remember, it's just putting a head in her hand going, another thing Billy hasn't told us. Swans do that! Swans sit and stare at you.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:16

Like when are they gonna reaction to that? Oh, ducks do that.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:22

Swans? Swans do that? Then you think when are they gonna fucking come and get me? They do. Shut the fuck up. Alright, what's the next one?

unknown 1:00:31

Ducks.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:32

Ducks do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:33

Yeah, that really sounds like you've got I think it's like the, you know, the um birds aren't real. Yes. Yeah. And recharging on the power lines and and they're you know paddling around in the thing, but there's really just a little motor underneath. And yeah, for Billy that could be ducks when you stare. Ducks do stare.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:51

I was more thinking swans. You know swans before they come at you? Staring.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:55

Well, I've never had that experience.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:56

Have you not have you never been chased by swans? They're scary mofos. Alright, come on. Next one.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

Okay. Iraqi butt europhobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:07

Okay, spiders up your butt. I thought that I immediately spiders up your butt. It sounds like an arachni butt. Arachne butt.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:14

And I am scared of having someone embed a spider up your butt.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:16

Yeah, exactly. I think it's a reasonable phobia. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:20

No, it's a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:23

Oh that is an uncomfortable feeling. I don't have that because I love I've never had it really stick to the roof of my mouth. I eat it too quickly, I think. Arachne butt. Say it again.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

Iraqi but Europhobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:38

Okay, so that's the buttons.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:39

I read that more of country-based. Yeah. Iraqi but Euro.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:44

So I'm picturing I'm not pronouncing it cleanly.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:48

Whereas I'm thinking arachne. So I'm thinking phonetically. No, but I'm thinking Iraq versus um at the Eurovision. Eurovision. With some sort of performative butt spider piece.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:59

And then wondering, but not being able to perform because they've got peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouth. Yes, there you go. Next.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

Well being watched by ducks.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:11

We watched by ducks. Fine. They've got a badge. They've got a badge. Alright.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:15

Okay, the next one is is very hard to say, but I'll give it a crack. Uh hippopotamon stro squip idaliophobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:25

Well, it's definitely something hippopotamus is.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:27

You would think, right?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:27

No, but it could be it could be one of those hippo.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

Have a guess.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

Yeah, try and see if you can find it.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:32

Also, I'm thinking, you know, that that half horse, half that's what I was or half fish. Hippocampus. Um hippo hippo poto, but it's just say poto squish.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:43

Hippopotamon stro squib squip e Daliophobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:47

Fear of being squashed by hippotamus. Fear of being painted by DALI as a hippopotamus. Love it. Reflecting and slowly melting down the side of the table.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:59

Very long legs. Yes. Yes. Um, no, it's actually just a fear of long words.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:04

Oh, I hate that. Very disappointing after your interpretation.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:09

Much better than the real definition.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:10

And you know what's bad? I've actually heard of that and told that to my kids before. So I can't believe I didn't know it. You must not be prepared to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Well, here's here's two things that are very relevant for us. Churophobia.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:21

Those things.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:21

Did you know this?

SPEAKER_06 1:03:22

No, I shouldn't have.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

Not C H turos. T-U-R-O-phobia.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:27

Oh, the Turi system. Fear of binary.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:32

Churi, churry, T-Ro.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:33

T-U-R-O.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:34

Taro. Taro.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

Taro phobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:37

Taro. Is it taro what's tarot?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:38

Is it churo or taro? I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:40

It depends. Tarophobia. Is it just tarot phobia? As quick as it is. Taro. Isn't taro like a root vegetable?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:46

Nope.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:47

Green chicken.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

You like it.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:49

I like it. Chocolate? No.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:51

No, yes. You like chocolate, but it's not chocolate.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:53

I like what it is. Or do I have a phobia of it?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:57

You like what it is.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:59

Tea? No. No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:01

It's the fear of cheese.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:03

Oh relevant. That's awesome!

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

So I made up our version.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:09

Yes. Oh, is that where that picture comes from?

unknown 1:04:12

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:12

Yes. Yes. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:14

Reanimator or Brianimator.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:19

Which we have to put all of these pictures up now because yes, the Brianimator, which kind of gives Gunter vibes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

But if you look at the original like him.

unknown 1:04:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

It's animated.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:34

It's alive, I tell you. Alive.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:36

And then she jacked win in the background.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:38

Number five is alive.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

This one is Cassian Aerophobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:43

Cassian Aerophobia.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:45

Cassion Aerophobia.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:49

Hang on, is this one you've made up?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

Sort of. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:52

Yes. Cassion.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

It's fear of aero.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:54

Fear of being talked about on a podcast. Fear of eating crunchy biscuits on a podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:01

I do have that fear.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:02

Fear of fear of making noise by touching the podcast in yelling at you by touching by touching the microphone.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:10

Well, can I tell you what one way it comes across is if you suffer uh hallucinations?

SPEAKER_05 1:05:16

Halloumi. So it's uh fear of cheese dreams.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:22

Cheese dreamers.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:26

Love it. Love it. Fear of cheese dreamers. We don't want people to have fear of them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:30

I read said that at the same time. Speaking of having things on the go and pre-made, this isn't to the level of cloning, but my daughter's um Catholic school had a child-sized statue of Nano Nagel, who is one of the founding important nuns, uh, out the front with a little lantern. Now I actually found it a bit creepy. Nano Nagel. Nano Nagel. It's a woman, a nun. I figured that. She may actually animate at night and go around killing people with creepy vibes. But uh someone thought, given the current climate economically, that potentially she was made of brass or copper or something. They stole it. They stole her. To melt her down. But left a foot. Now was it a ransom?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

Rather than send you back a foot in a box with a note, they just left it there to save them the effort of postage.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:28

But she was actually Did she did she have a green palette to her skin then? Because she's because she's made of Well, she was a professional. Yeah, she's a professional. She's a professional virgin. Yeah. Um I'll probably get smoted for saying that now. Um but she um was not made of Catholic schools. She was made of cheap metal. She wanted to piano. Um did someone bring her back? No, no one brought it back. And so they've got another one on its way from Italy. Like that's actually where they're all made. All the so all the networks.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:57

All the nuns, all the all the clone nuns, all the stuff.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:01

It's just I I figure a big factory just printing them out. Printing nuns. And how can you know that it's the exact one? Um good question.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:10

So they've kept the cast of that nun. Do they keep them all? Well, number 20, they have to be made with the case.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:15

How do they do that with real things? Like Rodons and stuff like that. Because they used to do lots of brass castings and things like that. So, how do you you know prove that?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:23

Yeah, well, they keep casts of them. Well, hopefully they dial down the creepy on the next one.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:28

That's all and Emrade go along with a little paintbrush and paint it green where it's no, make a little smile.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:35

Make sure a little smile on it. Yeah. But I do have a question for you, Gunther, based off your story. How many clones does it take to fill the Albert Hall?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:44

Deep division. Hmm. Depends if they're holy clones or not.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:49

Oh depends if they're the nun on that. That's a good way to uh end our episode, I think. We've all got something to go off and research. Depending on the nun. Thanks for uh listening to Dream Teachers. Cheat Jesus. Oh my god. Oh, let's try that again. Thanks for listening to Dream Cheesers. Hope it's taught you a lot. It's taught me a lot today, and uh we'll uh catch you on the flip side. See ya.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:15

Bye.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:25

But I never lost.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:27

But not I never lost.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:28

But not worrying about the weather's mighty bit. How do we get deep in this keep on burntin'?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:40

We're deep diving. Rolling diving, rolling.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:50

Emma is dancing as well. And this is going this is seriously going at the end of the Wiggle's fingers. Wiggles fingers. Okay, so you're going to how are you gonna make that into a thing for Emma? I have no idea. Okay. We're diving, deep diving. Yes. Deep diving. Oh, I like it. Yeah, but I can't sing that. You have to sing that.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:17

Diving on a podcast.