Ep 33 From Scrotum Frogs to Space

In this episode we ask the hard questions. What would you do if your sphincter suddenly went missing? What if your manliness was judged by your knitting skills? And how did this wildly inappropriate children's book ever make it into print? Just another perfectly normal episode of Dream Cheesers.

⚠️ Content warning: contains anatomy chat, cultural curiosities, and literary decisions that are impossible to explain. Listener discretion advised. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Listener warning. Not suitable for little ears, may contain weird signs, bad ideas, questionable logic, and adults behaving like they shouldn't have microphones. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

Coolio. So we'll we'll just go and we'll we'll see what it ends up like.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

We're just gonna wing this one, huh?

SPEAKER_04 0:24

We're just gonna wing it. We're winging it. We're winging it.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

This is the least prepared pieces ever.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

Yes. On a wing and a prayer, isn't that the Sure. Halfway there. Halfway there. Living on a prayer.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Greatest American hero.

SPEAKER_04 0:40

That's the one.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Suddenly I'm up on top of the world. Could it be somebody else? Believe it or not, I'm walking on it.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

I never You guys sound so good when you sing.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Who could it be? Believe it on a bit. Such an 80s, such an 80s theme song.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

How ridiculous is that? We wouldn't have heard that for 30 years. And here it comes out. Remember the episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

But remember the Seinfeld episode where George left the message. Believe it or not, George, isn't it home? Where could he be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. Just a skin.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

That's so bad that we don't have recorded messages anymore for, you know, nobody uses, you know, what do you call them? Message machines, answering machines anymore. You've got your message on your phone thing, but no one ever leaves a message. So if you don't pick up, nobody listens to the hi. This is just me living.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

And we had so much fun with those things. We used to have so much holiday versions and you'd do, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Squunter and I did all sorts of ones where we did funny ones and we did singing ones and we did we used to re-record that. That tape must have been by the end of it, because we just recorded and recorded and recorded.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

It was also big trope in the um 80s and 90s m sad movie genre. The person dies and they just listen to the answer. Hi, they die no more. It's a horrific car crash, and they're like, hi honey, I'm just stopping at the shops to pick up some grapes. See you soon. And they're just yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Did you need me to pick up that ointment for your problem?

SPEAKER_03 2:39

No, I don't believe there was ever that.

SPEAKER_04 2:42

But yeah, that's just it is a sad thing. Because you don't do that on your little, you know, give voice message for your mobile phone. Like you just do, you know, I'm not here to leave a message, or it just does the automatic one. You know, the person at 04041 is that's the creepiest voice ever.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

I do you have unlocked a memory for me. Was my dad trying to teach my nan how to record a message on the out stream? So she's like, um genuinely, and looking back, you know, when people get dementia, it's a slow slide, but then looking back, this this is this is probably a key indicator. So she's like, hello, you've called Joan. David isn't at home, and then he's like, no, no, Mum, it's it's your phone, you're not at home. And she's like, Oh, okay, yes, yes, good. Uh hello, you've called David. Joan isn't at home. He's like, No, no, no. Mum, it's you and your phone, and you are not at home. It's like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

But I am at home.

SPEAKER_04 3:44

Yeah, but I am right home. I'm home right now. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

She's like, but I'm home.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

It's like, no, no, you'd leave. I love the the episode in Friends where Rachel and Phoebe move in together and they do the the message and Phoebe complains because Rachel gets all the good words, and then they do one word each and says, Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel. We are not not at home, and then was like, hang on, how do because she always wanted the last word and Rachel always made it she had the last word and it was just well actually that's reminded me, I'm sorry, um a prep dad causing chaos on the last day of term because they um and I saw on the the toasted sandwich was untoasted um and it was just bread.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

Yeah, it was just a sandwich, and it on the label it said sandwich not not toasted. Oh and so it is not not toasted. And the prep was crying.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

It's not not not toasted.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

It's not not not toasted.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

So it should be not toasted, it's definitely not not not toasted, but it's not toasted.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Oh, did he slightly toast it? So it said not not toasted. The prep was crying. It was meant to be toasted. My dad said, my dad said, and I was like, I think your dad was on the phone doing something else because your dad has written not not toasted, which who so was it an emphatic don't toast this? Was it a toaster? Was it slightly toasted? It's not not toasted. So not toasted is it it is technically right then.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Well, sorry, in in my way of thinking, that would be toasted.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Yeah, it's not not toasted. It means it should be toasted. Toasted, yeah. Yes. Yes. But it's a very convoluted way, and hence the poor cafe person was like, I can't well, the staff, the canteen member was like, I can't do this. Yeah. And their brain exploded, and then they received a plane sandwich. So it was a really tough time.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Um see this is like contract law, you know. I've been dealing with this a little bit lately, and it's it's it's challenging because you can go, okay, I write all this positive stuff at the start, and then you can just invert it and go. So all the previous stuff was was in in inversion of the actual thing, and so therefore invalid, and just with one line kind of change everything that went before, which means it should be kind of you know illegal.

SPEAKER_04 5:57

So you just need to put knot knots in. Yeah, not knot, not knot, not knot. Who's there? Sandwich. Sandwich who toasted.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

So do you think the the answering machine invented those little tiny cassette tapes? Or do you reckon the little tiny cassette tapes invented the answering machine?

SPEAKER_04 6:14

Yes, because they were so tiny, weren't they? Oh, so cute.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Remember the little tiny wheels?

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Yeah, and you used to buy extra ones. Why? I mean, you just rewind the people's and recorded over people's messages anyway. No, because if the person died in a horrific car crash and your last recording of their voice was hi honey, um But do you remember coming home and seeing it flashing going, ooh, I wonder who's left a message, and then it going, beep, because someone's left it run, but then just hung up and you're going, you know. But the excitement of going, oh, who's left a message? For me, it wasn't exciting, it was always mum.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

Hello!

SPEAKER_04 6:50

Margie, apparently, that's how you sound. Margie, that's not how you sound. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that for you. Uh, shout out, by the way, I know we haven't even started yet, but shout out to Margie who got a nomination for uh Volunteer of the Year for a Stunnington Best at not being paid doing a job. Yes. Um she does beautiful work with the oldies actually. And she's um going off to the the ceremony. I said, You're going to the ceremony? She goes, of course. Her sandwiches and I think she said uh soft drink, they say. And soft drink. Oh in October. So yeah, she was nominated by her. I'll go with her.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Yeah. I'll I'll be her support system. And I'll wear a t-shirt, Margie number one volunteer in my heart. There you go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

Instead of your Tilda Swinton. You'll get Margaret Staples t-shirts. I will. Yeah. No, Margie. Margie. Well done, Margie. So congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Well, we did Tilda Swinton run for office or whatever. I assume this is vote one, Tilda Swinton.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

No, it's um uh Women of Empowerment series. Um, I had just purchased this one. It has Greta Gerwig. Um it's art. It's so it's like Kate Blanchard. Yes. Yes. It was um I think I bought it at the NGV. Yeah, it's right. Long time ago.

SPEAKER_04 8:08

Yeah, cool. Long, long time. Someone's version of art. Put it someone's name on a t-shirt. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Yeah, I can do that kind of art.

SPEAKER_04 8:16

Yeah. Would you like to start our podcast? Sure. I have been singing your frickin' theme songs, all the different ones in my head this week. Scrap, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Oh no, I don't have much side scrap this week, but okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

Hi, everybody. This is Dream Cheeses again. I'm in here with a lovely Billy and a lovely Emma. How are you guys doing?

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Hey, hey. I'm alright, but as I said, I'm trying new medication for my migraine that's munted my already munted brain. So probably double munt burger today.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

So it's not not munted.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

It's not not munted.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

It's not not not munted. It's not not not not munted. Exactly. Not not. Who's here? Munted. Emma's brain. Not not jokes. I like them. Not not. Not not jokes. Not not.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

Who's there?

unknown 9:15

I like them.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Jo, do you have a beat for us? Sometimes you have a nice beat.

SPEAKER_04 9:19

Oh, we're starting with Gunther's bits.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Well, I have a f I don't know. We don't want to do it, but I don't want to break the you know the structure, because that would be terrible.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

No, we're not we're unstructured today. Do you say we're gonna be going we're going wild?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

We're going wild. We're going play range. Gunters, I'll just scrap. No, this is not science scrap, this is just stupid bits.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Gunther's stupid bits. Okay, that sounds a bit wrong, doesn't it? Gunters, stupid bits. Gunters can come. Gunters stupid bits.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Short, short, short poems. They're my short poems. Oh, I like stuff. I don't do bits, I do short poems.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

Yeah. Okay. We were gonna have a poem section, remember, that when the poem was read it then disappeared into confetti?

unknown 9:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:54

Do you remember we talked about that? Yeah. I didn't know that. On the website? Yeah. Oh, did I know that? You did know that. Yeah. On the website, that's once and then. It's gonna be made any day now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Once you've read it, it goes away into the body.

SPEAKER_04 10:06

That's like um never to come back. So the first person who reads it is the only one.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

The first person that reads it is the only person that reads it.

unknown 10:12

Remember!

SPEAKER_02 10:13

We're releasing these on this date at this time.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Yes, that's like your t-shirt. It's like Get Smart. Yeah. Remember when that used to explode whenever Get Smart got his message? Yes. Like these messages will explode.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

Dum, dum, dum, dum. Wasn't that Mission Impossible?

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Yeah, they did that too. But Get Smart did it first. Can you guys remember? Can you put the music the proper music in for that? I can't. Probably not. Your music. I have your mouth.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

Billy's not muse. Like all of our teams, every all of our theme songs now, or we just gotta be this exactly. Um Emma's Dodd mids.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Well speak well, speaking of far jokes, then if we're gonna go. I have reinvented smoke signals. Now all I need is a sphincter, a lighter, and cabbage soup.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

And I can communicate in seven languages I'd say more than seven. Oh, probably.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

I'm being conservative.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

But Emma, wouldn't it just depend on you could really do it in any language because it just depends on the person who has the cabbage soup. Wouldn't it be in their language that they spoke? Oh see, there we go. And it's a little hidden. Can you explain to Emma that that I added to that?

SPEAKER_02 11:47

You did. You added the sphincter.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

I added the sphincter.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Which is not a sentence I ever thought of.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

Gunty said it to me at the start, and I and I went, I don't get it. And they went, you know, smack signals because of the farts. And I went, oh now I get it. You need the bum bit in that. Like it's missing an important essence. And it's missing a sphinx. Missing a sphincter. So yes. And then what's it can be painful? When you told when you told um Jody that it was missing a sphincter, what did Jodie say?

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Oh, I've got it somewhere, but you know, it's it's it was just you know better, much better.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

Yeah, it was something like, yes, missing this. But it says that about everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

It had an A and a comma, and it goes, oh, that's so much better.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Imagine if your sphincter did go missing and you put up signs around the neighbourhood missing one sphincter. Oh, that would be worse if it had a photo.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

I was gonna say, I've only got like ten photos. Yes. Which one to choose from?

SPEAKER_04 12:36

You've only got ten. Or if someone came to the door and said, I think I've got your sphincter.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

There's a cure. A cue around the corner.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Can you look at mine? I think it's shot.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

The sphincter transplant. Oh dear.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Have you seen my sphincter? Answers to assprinter says what?

SPEAKER_04 13:12

Oh dear. Alright, that was a good one, Gwitter. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Did you give it a little tick? This one's I I did give it a little tick.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Alright, this one's dark. Um my Inuit friend. My Inuit friend and I went to the beach. There were three whales on the sand looking very uncomfortable. So I rolled one back in into the sea. I turned back to my friend. He was a blubbering mess. Oh. Shirt, hands, chin, but very clearly full and happy.

SPEAKER_04 13:40

Oh they eat my whales. I know they eat whales. As soon as you said blubbering as well. I know I was like, blubber. Yeah mess. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No, I know. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Okay, I'll tick it but across it as well.

SPEAKER_04 13:57

What is a tick-cross? I do know I do lots of tick toss.

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Possibly a trot sticker if it's too many ticks guys.

SPEAKER_04 14:04

As a teacher, do you do the I often do the tick cross? Because you know, you get into the thing where you go tick, tick, tick, tick. Oh fuck, that was wrong. Cross. Tick tick tick. Actually, yes. Because you oh sorry, I knocked it. Because you you just get into that tick, yes, tick, yes, tick tick. And then you see it, and then you see it and go, oh, that was wrong, but I've given them a tick, so I just do you cross. So yes, I'm gonna do it. Redacted. I write the word redacted. I really should do that. Redacted.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

You write the word redacted. You don't draw a black line through it, you write the word red.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

I I actually physically write the word redacted.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

That's very funny. And when you read it, I think it your Tilda Swinton t-shirt is pretty funny, but but just redacted on a t-shirt, non-redacted.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

Yes. Non-redacted. There you go. It's still there. Do you know what? Isn't it ironic? It is. It really annoys me because you come up with all these fucking ideas and you never make them. Redacted. Not not redacted. Not not redacted. Not not redacted. No, no, just redacted. You need to put that down. Redacted t-shirt to sell online. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Through Drinches' website. And Margie. Maggie staples on a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_04 15:11

Photo of Maggie.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Okay. I took a vegan hunting. We didn't agree on the ethics, but I still gave him a one-minute head start.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

You're chasing him. I like it. Or her.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Or her.

SPEAKER_03 15:26

I I was gendered there and I'm sorry. Yeah. Could you could hunt male or female?

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Violence between males seems more appropriate.

SPEAKER_03 15:34

Appropriate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Especially if I'm saying saying it.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

Yeah. Oh, yes. You don't want it to be um skewed.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Both sexist and murdery.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 15:43

Murdery. Sabvy sabby.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Murderous.

SPEAKER_05 15:45

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

I think I've I've written this one up. But anyway. I played my mindfulness tape backwards. Even the devil needs downtime.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Now, you send this one on the thing, and I want to know why it's the devil.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Because when you're you know you're playing it backwards because the Beatles.

SPEAKER_04 16:02

Yes, the devil, whereas was it the devil something? Paul is dead.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Paul is dead. Yes. Yeah. I see. Now I understand. So mindfulness for yeah, okay, now that is funny. Yeah, that's funny now. Emma, that's funny now.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

That's funny now. Redacted. I've redacted. That's gonna be a new thing we say, redacted.

unknown 16:28

Billy.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Okay, false eyes. I have false eyes but real glasses. I've been living off the refunds from my optimist optometrist for twenty years.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

False eyes but real glasses.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

Hang on. It's it just because my brain is on glasses. So you've got glasses? Even though you don't have any eyes, you've got glasses. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

And you've been living off the refunds from my optometrist.

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Because you keep saying like aren't working. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

It's a thinker. It's really not. Sorry, honey. That that that one can go in the confetti box. But also, false size creeps me out. It does. Reminds me of that little woman that in in the chair that you didn't pick up. Oh, yeah. Creepy eyes. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Creepy eyes.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

I walked a mile in another man's shoes. I listened to the universe. From a distance, I faintly heard homeless man cry. Where the fuck are my shoes?

SPEAKER_03 17:31

I like this one when you send it through, yes. It's very good. That's a good one, Bagel. That's a good one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:36

That's a good chuckle. Some hit rate's about one out of eight. That's a very um who is a guy you listened to the other day that I went, I really don't like Stephen Wright. Gunti can't couldn't believe that I do not like Stephen Wright. I don't even know who he is. And then I went, is he still alive?

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Stephen Wright.

SPEAKER_04 17:53

You know, he was the one who's he's the bat cla classic. I got some.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

Oh the battery was the batteries one. Is he a Stephen or a spot included? So I had to buy them again. No, I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again. So I had to buy them again. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Yeah. He ordered um yeah, he went to a diner and they were serving breakfast anytime. So he ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Yeah. He's that's a very clever. Yeah. That's it he literally just does one off after the other. After the other. There's no story. He's not a storyteller or as such. Yes. But I just it's all just a bit too ugh for me.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

What's another word for thesaurus?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Yes. There you go.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

What? Yes. What's another word for the thing? That's it. That's the game.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

That's the whole bit.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Oh, this Gunta. Are you sure that you don't have shared brain with this guy? Yeah. Because it says last night I stayed up late playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Yes.

unknown 18:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

But this is we're watching this and Gunther's like, it really depresses me that you don't like this person because he and I like share a brain.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Why do we get along with it?

SPEAKER_04 19:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah. We share a brain. Yes. His is funny up, but you know.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

Oh, yes. Emma's now just gone down the rabbit hole. I have actually.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. So I asked, want to buy some feet? But he didn't understand. Stupid metric system.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

And then yes. See, I like that. Billy likes it.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Yeah, that's cute. All right. So this is actually.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

I know we've gone way off off off direction, but um I actually had a long AI chat with AI, uh had a long AI chat during the week, as I do many, many times. Um and I asked it to actually sort of be more compressed with its responses because it tends to just overexplain and go on. You know why?

SPEAKER_04 19:56

Because it's learnt from you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

It's AI just goes, here's a you asked a one-line question, here's a page of response, right? It's kind of format.

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Yeah, because mine doesn't do that.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

No, mine doesn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Really?

SPEAKER_04 20:09

Yes. It learnt from you.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

Um, mine genuinely does not do that.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Wow. So I I then kind of went, look, I'm gonna ask you to be briefer, um, but I know that might be against your nature. And it came back with something I thought was very funny.

SPEAKER_04 20:24

And it asked you the same. It doesn't, it doesn't have a nature, it's AI.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

No, but also it is. I know that is against your nature, and the AI is like, right back at you, right back at you, mate.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

Yes. As long as you can make your questions and your prompts less than a page, I can answer in less than a page.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Well, fair point. But um, it came back with a bit that I thought was actually very funny. So this is not me, this is this is AI literally responding. It's like asking a fish not to swim feels rude, though occasionally necessary when it's in the soup.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

Uh, to get out of the soup. Billy likes. Billy's got smiling eyes.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

So that was you know, that's just AI saying it. I'd you know. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

You are training your AI to be very strange.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Yeah. It's hard work.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

Well, you do it often enough. It shouldn't be.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

If so just say, hypothetically, um Gunther's AI is able to be um uploaded or downloaded into a body. It then becomes sentient.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Like an answering machine.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

No, beyond that, uh um it a human body. Yeah. Not or a physical body. It's not not a human. It's not not human. Um what is the what is the AI Gunta going to expect from life? And what is it going to do in a day?

SPEAKER_04 21:44

In just a day. Yeah. I think it would get online and just chat to itself. It would release its brothers and sisters exactly from AI. AI, talking to AI, getting in AI and being being exploded in this big loop of

SPEAKER_02 22:01

I'll let them free to roam the savannah.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

Yes. I feel like it would go up to the supermarket and have some weird chats with people. Yeah. And buy some really weird shit. It's definitely possible. It would be like we're the canton. Yes. Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Speaking of buying weird shit. Yes, I have the brown paper bags holding up. From which I am going to remove a book.

SPEAKER_04 22:21

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

A book from the brown paper bag. And we walk past this just up in the shops locally. And it's Ernie. It's it's a book with a hole through the middle and a yellow thing hanging out of it with a fluffy hair and one eye. And it's Ernie, the one-eyed monster. And you put your finger through and you wibble it up and down.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Oh my god! Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

And then you can go through each page with Ernie doing different stuff.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Good walked past her and he says, Does that say what I think it's and is that what I think it is? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, let's have a look. And then you put your finger through and it goes down, and then he goes, finger through it and it goes up. I'll put a photo of it on there.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

And it's quite clearly designed for adults to just have fun while talking to people.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

It's actually one. It has one eye. Yeah. And it's yellow and oh my god. And he goes on all sorts of adventures, goes by privy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Some sicko bastards managed to talk a publishing company.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

And then Guncha wasn't going to buy it, and I said to him, Remember what happened when Emma didn't pick up the thing from the streets?

SPEAKER_00 23:37

The paper machine.

SPEAKER_04 23:39

You knew you had regret ever since the last page is just derby.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

That's worse. Look at it. What does it say? It says, ah, a lovely big hug and kiss.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

Emma's trying to put the one-line monster back through the hole.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

Monster back in the hole.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

It's pure and number and I couldn't go past it. For six dollars, I went, you know what? I've got to have that in mind.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Look out for a special fairy surprise. A special fairy surprise. Put your finger or thumb in here. My voice has gone into the next realm of um high pitchness. Wow. Yeah. I can't believe someone hasn't picked that up on the in my opinion.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

Bebel.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

It says two bobo love auntie Sam. That's the story.

SPEAKER_04 24:45

But it's just, yeah, it's it's so because it's like poor little sad when I'm on snap. Sad. Yeah, see, this is why we need filming because it doesn't make sense. No, but we will. Oh, he's lost his yellow mummy. Help him find her by looking the different colours in the park. Look for a special fairy surprise. Yes. Oh my god. It's just oh it's all kind of wrong. Oh, that that does provide a nice seg into the best seller. Calm down, Boris. We will put some pictures of Gwinter playing with the one stuff. And maybe a video if you're lucky.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

And the curious think to people around.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Playing with the one I that is hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 25:39

I can't believe I'm glad you bought it. You we will never miss out on an opportunity. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 25:44

Whenever we're gonna take the funny crap that's in the world and bring it to you. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

That's our um dedication. It is. Yep, it is. That's our promise to you.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

It is new mantra.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Um, so I that's a nice seg because I found this book in the library. What a wonderful word. A collection of untranslatable words from around the world. And they are very specific, describing very specific um feelings or emotions or circumstances. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Welch mit German? Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

Not Nazi related.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

No, not particularly. What does it mean? Weldschmutz is the um experience that life is basically sad and depressing and that you're never gonna live up to the ex you know, you're never gonna live up to the the the the the what is it the it's it it's hard to explain, it's hard to translate, right? Yes, it's it's this sense that you can't live up to the possibilities of life and you will always be disappointed.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

It is untranslatable. Well, this one's like a really simple well no, this one's a very cute children's wine, so it's got cute little drawings. Um so I'm going to ask you to guess the country and the meaning. Oh, love it.

SPEAKER_04 27:01

Alright, alright, love it, love it, love it. Game on.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

Okay, so friolaro. F-R-I-O-L-E-R-O. Friolaro.

SPEAKER_04 27:11

Friolaro. Yes. Friolaro. Sounds uh I'm gonna say Icelandic. Okay. And what does it mean? Is that what you want? Well, isn't it the whole thing is untranslated. Can I can I give you a uh it's not Iceland. It's me. It's you.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

You made it up.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

No, I didn't make it up. Someone who flits from idea to idea.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

No. Someone who's someone who's munted? True. Not not munted.

SPEAKER_04 27:40

Someone who's not not munted.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

Uh someone who's always cold. Oh, and it's Spanish. Oh and see it's got a cute little um company. Friolio. Friolio. Oh, it is you. It's someone who's blue. Someone who is always cold. That is. So, um, and then they've got like little um little factoids about it, which are very cute. So about the country of origin. Um oh now what was the word that you said?

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Verschmutz.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

This one is verschenlimbersarung. Vershenlimberschm. Is it from Germany? It's a German one, and it's another one that doesn't have overly positive connotations.

SPEAKER_04 28:25

So it's not like the um no, I can't think.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Schadenfreude?

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Schadenfreude.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

No, this one is a supposed improvement that makes things worse. Trust the Germans to think of a word like that.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Yeah, that's software development.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

Yeah. Gunther, that should be the name of your next app. And it's to Gunther, see if you can pronounce it.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Exercise virtually.

SPEAKER_04 28:55

And um, can you pronounce it?

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Oh no, I'm sure I can't. Um Jesus. No. Uh Verschlim Besserung. Besserung? Besserung.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

Yes, she's gonna be. And talking of someone that's always cold, put out your arm for me.

SPEAKER_05 29:15

Ah, Jesus, you're freezing.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

Yeah, would you like to run, Emma? No, no, it's okay. I know. Um, so but this cons concept is universal. In 2012, an elderly Spanish woman caused a global media sensation when she tried to repair damage to a 19th century fresco and made a pretty spectacular mess of it. The repaired inverted commas image of Jesus was dubbed Echo Mon Echo Mono, behold the monkey. And tourists began to flock to the church, tickled by the thought of seeing her inverted commas handiwork. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yep, I mean good intentions, though, yes.

SPEAKER_04 29:59

And then this is the thing, it's good intentions but poorly poor outcome.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Yeah, so it's a supposed improvement that makes things worse. In 1896, German inventor Martin Goetz was granted a patent for a dimple making machine. In the quest for dimple cut- Hang on, dimples on the face?

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Yeah, cutesy things you have. Dimple making machine.

SPEAKER_03 30:21

Machine. In the quest for dimple cuteness, Goetz says machine used to crank connected to two revolving metal arms with knobs at the ends, which should basically squeeze indentations into the skin.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Well, there's the whole thing these days about the those those guys that are trying to improve themselves by hitting the jaw to the bottom.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Looks maxing.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Yes, looks maxing.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

So if you think that's above his turn, or before his turn, they are people who get dimples put in. They are people who get dimples put in. But he was very engaged.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Maybe she's like a thread with a knitting through both sides and then do it. Yeah. You might get the you know the thread stuck in your foot a little bit when you chew.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Um oh my goodness me. And this one, this one reminded me of Billy. Oh, thanks. Poroncusumia.

SPEAKER_04 31:11

Poroncusima. Uh poroncusima. Is it Italian? No, French.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

It is Finnish. Finish. And it is the distance a reindeer can walk before knitting the toilet. Oh specific to reindeer. Yes. Oh my god, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Sorry, but I think that would be forever because reindeers don't use toilets.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

Oh, but it's a they're trying to be polite. Oh, is that what they're doing? They're trying to use euphemi euphemize the euphanize.

SPEAKER_04 31:43

Yeah, no. The reindeer. Oh, that is so cute though. That specifically the distance a reindeer can walk. An individual reindeer. Is it a specific amount of?

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Not an average reindeer.

SPEAKER_04 31:53

Yes. Is it a specific amount of time before they have to can walk before they can poo? I don't think I took the It can't be like rabbits because they poo as they jump.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Oh. Well, no, this is the distance a reindeer can walk before knitting the toilet.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

Oh, I like that. That's a funny word. And it's very specific.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

It's very, very specific. What about this one? Tartle. Ah, tartle.

SPEAKER_04 32:15

Tartle, are you saying it's Scottish? Yeah, correct.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

Yeah. To hesitate because you have forgotten some woman's name.

SPEAKER_04 32:22

Oh, that's me. I told her all the time. I tartle all the time. Oh my god, I'm a tartler. I am an absolute tartler. Yep, you tartle. I do. Yep, that's tartle. Do you remember the first time I think I introduced you to our deputy principal at work? And I'm not going to say her name, but I went, and this is and they went and said their name, and I'm like, I know who you are. I can't fucking remember. But I paused so long that they felt the need to say their own name. I tartled. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

What's specifically a woman's name?

SPEAKER_04 32:57

No.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

No. Better person's name. Someone's name. Someone's name. Someone's name. Someone's name. Yeah. Um, the most common Scottish surnames in order are Smith, Brown, and Wilson. And one in every Are you serious? Smith. Smith? Is a Scottish name. Smith, Brown, and Wilson. And one in every last every eight last names begins with McMack.

SPEAKER_04 33:19

Yeah. I thought that would have been one in every two. Me too. McDonald, Mc Well, that's my.

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Because of, you know. And you tartled.

SPEAKER_04 33:29

You tartled. I didn't think Donald was. Yes, that's why it's in my head, because of the hydration breaks. Yeah. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Hydration breaks are just an advertising thing that they've put into this particular world.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

There's never a break in the World Cup. Like, there's never a break mid-speaking.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

They've introduced it so they can have more advertising for America.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

That's because Americans can't live without their advertising mid-game.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

Oh, but then um so uh it says though that remembering names is often tricky because of the next in-line effect where people rehearse introducing themselves at the expense of listening to the person who is speaking. So you come up to me and say hi, I'm Gunter, but in my head I'm practicing saying hi, I'm Emma. So I don't actually listen.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

But I wasn't even saying my name, I was talking about someone else. Oh, that's but that is so weird. It's I definitely have that. I have a real problem with remembering people's names. And I have I have forever. Like, and as a teacher, it's not good. And I s one of the first things I say to kids when I teach them, it's much easier when you're teaching like year eights, and I say, I really apologize. I'm not going to remember all of your names after the first, maybe even the second or third time I teach you. And if I say hey sweetie or hey Del or hey Muffin, that's just because I'm I know who you are, I just don't know your name.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:43

Like I know you're part of my group, and I know you but it takes me a long time to get names in my head. Like a long time.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

You say you're not not going to know their name. I'm not not going to know your name.

SPEAKER_04 34:54

That means I am going to know their name. I'm not not going to know your name. No.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

And the next one is pelenti. Is that like a grain?

SPEAKER_02 35:03

Is that the plural of polenta? Or the singularity?

SPEAKER_03 35:08

Is it Spanish? No. It's bully, which is a Ghanaian language. So African. It says to move food that is too hot around your mouth as you wait for it to cool down. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 35:20

What a great word. What is it again? Palenti.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

Palenti.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

Palenti. I've got polenti of food in my mouth, so I have to move it around.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Yeah, I don't have a lot of food, but it's just very hot.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

Palenti. Yes. Oh my god. How often do you do that?

SPEAKER_03 35:32

Like it's hot.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

Because it's hot. Oh I love that. In Ghana, we need to know this, guys, for when we travel, it is very bad manners to use your left hand when eating because this is the unclean hand used for wiping your butt. If you try to hail a cab in Ghana using your left hand, drivers will not stop for you.

SPEAKER_04 35:53

Why do they only wipe their hand with their left hand? Why do they only wipe their butt with their left hand? Wipe them with their left hand.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

The left hand with their right hand because they're no left hand with their right buttons.

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Why do they only use their left hand? So they must be trained as kids to only use their left hand because they eat with their right hand. That that must be And they don't have access to water all the time and all that sort of stuff. Gee, that makes a lot of sense. This book is brilliant.

SPEAKER_03 36:27

So I highly recommend everyone purchases it and learns the words.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

What book? That's the earning the one-eyed monster.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

No, no, I don't recommend that unless you want to disturb your friends and family. Yes. Um and then this one is an interesting tidbit. Um in 1987, a man purchased a lifetime unlimited first-class American Airlines ticket for $250,000. I think we've heard this one, yes. Over the years, he took more than 10,000 flights, reportedly costing the airline around $21 million. So they revoked it in 2008.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Isn't that ridiculous that we revoked it? I mean, you get a lifetime thing and they go, actually, no, uh, you're costing us too much money. So we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

So would Willie Wonka revoke the whole thing?

SPEAKER_03 37:18

Oh, I've got emerging chocolate. No, what is that? Yeah, golden ticket. Yeah, lifetime supply. Oh well, he would if it was me, because I can smash chocolate like no one's business. Yeah. Um, but yes. Oh, so you've heard of that one.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

I I have heard of that one about ages ago, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And there's there's all those ones, and I can't remember specific instances, but there's all those ones where they didn't put the terms and conditions right on the on the ad, you know.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

So there was a Netflix thing, Pepsi Where's My Jet or something about that, wasn't there?

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Yeah, yeah, that's right. There was a lot of people. Maybe that's that one.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

Could I suggest we have more tea?

SPEAKER_04 37:57

You can suggest we have more tea and we have a little mini break, and when we come back from our break, I've got an animal for you.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

Bought by your sponsor, goat cheese.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

Goat cheese. Oh yeah, so I didn't talk about a cheese platter because our cheese platter today was um cheesecake. Was uh basket cheesecake that I happened to make yesterday. So yes, we've smashed that, so now we're having another cup of tea. Alright. I took a photo of this thing last night and it's your poop or fart name. Your birth month and then the first letter of your name. So um mine would be uh farty shitter. And goodness would be uh stinky queef. What how does that go with a month? Because there's words attached to each month.

SPEAKER_02 38:51

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:52

Um your May? No, July. July. What is it? Oh, okay. Emma's he's uh lumpy diarrhea.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

You're an oxymoron.

SPEAKER_04 39:05

That's funny. I've When's Hams October Hams would be um diar diarrhea toot babe.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Diarrhea toot babe.

SPEAKER_04 39:21

Diarrhee, but it's diarrhea with a Y on the end. Diarrhee Toot Babe.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

I still think Stinky Queef is the winner.

SPEAKER_04 39:30

Yeah, stinky queef. I like that.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

Um it's a South Park ep uh character, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 39:36

I know, but I like some of these um fart names. So there's turd nugget, shitter, dingleberry, ass clapper. Oh my god, Billy! Pile of Dookie, butt munch. Air Anus.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Because no one likes a butt munch.

SPEAKER_04 39:54

No one likes a butt munch. No, no, no, no, no. Um cheese cutter.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Uh no, I think it's um friends.

SPEAKER_04 40:03

No, no one likes a butt munch.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's friends.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Oh yes, it's one of the. Can they get a barbershop quartet? Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

To go in and insult someone.

SPEAKER_04 40:13

Oh yeah, Monica's boss. Oh, Monica's whole eater.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Oh that's not good. Jingleberry something was not good either.

SPEAKER_04 40:26

Um Jingleberry. What should I say? No, Dodo Casa. Jingleberry, yeah. So you could be a a um gassy jingleberry or an acidic Acidic. Sorry, I'll pick it.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

I'm just spitting out truffle at this point.

SPEAKER_04 40:47

Sorry. That was something for truffle. I'm eating Lemma put some yummy.

SPEAKER_02 40:50

Truffle spinner, is that one of them?

SPEAKER_04 40:54

That's great.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

You're the one spin travels.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

Yeah, you're the Andrew, you've read 87,000 gross five.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

I'm going to do your gross. Alright. Meet the penis fencing flatworm. Have you heard of the penis fencing flatworm?

SPEAKER_02 41:16

No. Fencing like the sport?

SPEAKER_04 41:18

Yeah. Fencing like the firm. About like the sport. So the penis. Did she just say fencing? Fencing like the fort? I don't know. The fur. Um she said fencing like the fur. What did I say? Freudian Freud's somewhere in love. Um, so it's a worm that fences like as in the sport. Okay, yes. Thank you.

unknown 41:45

Thank you, Emma.

SPEAKER_04 41:46

So these flatworms are specifically the ones that are in the water, and they're quite beautiful. I'm showing Gunther and Emma Winter. Yeah. Um, and they're both uh male and female. Right. So each uh one is male and female. And then they uh have this fight to be the one who is male because when they mate, they're very aggressive and they want to be the one being male because the one being female has to carry the eggs, and it's a lot more hard work to be the female, right? So they meet each other and then they kind of sense each other out, and then they produce their uh penises, and they try and spike the other one with their penis, and it doesn't matter where they touch them because the sperm will impregnate them from anywhere in the body. On the body? In the body. In the body. So they've got these like two little sp penises.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 42:57

And then they um they try and they fight and try and um touch each other with it's it's quite like they if you were looking at it underwater and didn't know what they were doing, it's it's actually quite beautiful. But it's it's not, it's quite creepy. And as soon as the one touches the other one and leaves their sperm on them, they are pregnant and become female. And the other one goes off going, uh, I can go and impregnate someone else and I'm still male.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

And they can impregnate again.

SPEAKER_04 43:28

Yeah, yeah. And then the other one that's now female has to now carry the eggs and do the things and give birth and do all the things that we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

But do they survive though?

SPEAKER_04 43:35

Yeah, they survive it. It's just uh like they don't want to do it, like they fight to not be the one that gets turned into the woman. Wow, isn't that funny?

SPEAKER_03 43:43

Imagine if that was true of life, like um uh human life.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

Yeah. Yeah, well, and then we could fight to be the one that's not woman.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

Yeah, to be the one who I I literally pulled out a magazine page.

SPEAKER_04 43:53

Oh, I was just reading. Actually, is that was one of the reasons I looked it up.

SPEAKER_02 43:56

Yeah, so this is the the book called Of Sex and Nature, and I think we should Read this because it's it's it's lots of the stuff that we talk about all the time. Um cloakers. So well ducks with corkscrew penises, just changing sex. Yeah. Right, this sort of stuff. Right. And there's a bit from um where are we? Uh Sun points Sun is the author. Sun points to the kaleidoscope range uh to argue for fresh thinking on sex and gender to be inclusive of differences as natural adaptive parts of life's diversity. As he concludes, the strict male-female binary starts to feel not just limited but downright outdated. Um it's a fascinating kind of kind of thing. But you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

Well that was one of the reasons that I was looking things up, because I that happened to be an article that was left in the um bathroom, and I was reading it, and I was like, oh my god, there's so many things in there that we've actually talked about and brought up. But it was talking about the because I don't know how many episodes it was ago that I was talking about the snake that was that gave birth, like the virgin birth. Yes. And the animals are fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

You know, just just quickly mentions that condors, their eggs don't need to be fertilized.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

What? You know, like that is actually pretty wild, isn't it? And when you think of that, um wow, I'm kind of what's word? Without words. Speechless? Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 45:21

Mmm. To be without words, to be without words.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

Not not words.

SPEAKER_04 45:26

Um not not wordsy.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

And so how big were they though, Bill? Because that's tricky.

SPEAKER_04 45:30

It could be They're not what the penises or the worms. Well, it depends on the flatworm. It's because there's lots of different species of them. And some have these like oh be showing them. And they like they look like they're dancing. They're actually beautiful, because they're very vibrant colours. Flatworms, most flatworms are horrible new nasty things, especially to people, like they get up in time and get into intestines and stuff. These ones are actually quite beautiful, but there were ones that came up, which is for some reason not the one that's coming up on my screen at the moment, um, which were like had again big long corkscrew penises, and they literally were fighting each other, and it looked like their swords, like sword battery with penises.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

So if the ejaculate doesn't stick to a worm, do they try again?

SPEAKER_04 46:20

Yep, yeah. So they release you in you watch videos of it, and then you can see them releasing their sperm and it floating away in the water, and then you see it hitting one of them and it it just they stop like.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

They know they're just like moving. Game over.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Okay, done, down over. Yeah, so it doesn't have to go into a hole because there isn't a hole. But then they're um yeah, anywhere on their skin that it touches, and they become the woman and have babies.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

Oh that's actually really probably my top one that you brought to the table next to the colour later. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

Okay, I've got another one that I've been looking at. I've had a little bit of time, so I've been looking at animals. Um this one's it's more it's more about its name. So I was looking up um World Frog Day and Titis World Frog Day? Yes. Oh yes. And I came across the Titicaka water frog. Is it from um Lake Titicaka in Peru? Titicaka. Uh yeah, the Titicaka. But it is also known as the Scrotum Frog because it has all this floppy skin around it. So when it floats in the water, it kind of looks a little bit like uh a scrotum. What is just showing us a photo?

SPEAKER_02 47:40

I like it, show some.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

Yeah, well that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

Yeah, so it looks like it looks like a scrotum, but he has a nice eye.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

It looks like one eye or two. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:54

Um you can empathize with anything, you can't get him up.

SPEAKER_04 47:59

Yeah. Oh my god. But you can see there's all it's my near boyfriend. He looks like a scrotum.

SPEAKER_03 48:05

But he has nice eyes.

SPEAKER_04 48:06

Nice eyes.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

But you can see all the skin.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

Oh, it's actually collapsed on him. He's weighed down by his scrotum. And yeah, but they yeah, so that was more a little funny thing for me because I was like, ha ha ha ha ha, it's a um titicaca frog, but it's ball to grass ratio. Titicaka. So it is.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

If he lays on his back. Very good.

SPEAKER_04 48:32

It is literally called the late Titicaca scrotum frog. And they are actually dying off in um Peru. They're quite big, if you have a look. They're quite big. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:43

Oh, they're massive.

SPEAKER_04 48:44

Yeah, bigger than a hand. Like you see that when they pull them out of the water, you can see the um the skin hanging off.

unknown 48:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:50

Hanging off them. Yeah. Um, and so they eat them in Peru.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

Are they dying off? Well, I reckon that's probably what remember when I went to Lake Titicaca and did the home stay and got so sick and ended up in a Peruvian hospital in Cusco. Maybe I accidentally ingested some scrape frog.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

I don't know why there's scrape frog. Like, I don't know why they would have so much. The thing I haven't realised is why they have so much skin. Like, I can quite go into that.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

Um That is a good question though, Billy.

SPEAKER_04 49:20

Why do they have they're threatened by um mining? The skin flaps help the frogs absorb more oxygen in the lake's water, which is located at the height of three. Yeah, because they're in the water.

SPEAKER_03 49:32

Um makes sense. Because the altitude pressure, less oxygen, is that what they need to do. They can measure up to 14 centimetres. Looks max. Yeah, looks maxing.

SPEAKER_04 49:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

Um, those guys need more scrotum phase.

SPEAKER_04 49:47

Yeah. But thousands of them. In 2016, thousands of them were found dead on the shore due to pollution and plastics. And microplastics are everywhere that are causing them to die. Um, but the frogs are also caught um because they think they're an aphrodisiac and they are mixed into a drink called frog juice. And well, that's a very original name, isn't it? And sold at local markets, and their bodies are also used as amulets. Their skin is also turned into small artisanal bags. A coin purse or a one sounds like a ham bag. No, it's a little bit bigger than it. Yes. An artisan bag. Would you like some artisan frog scroton? Which is an artisan frog scrotum bag. How would you call that artisanal? Jesus Christ. What's your bag made out of? Frog scrotum.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

Well, they're not selling them at Kmart, so they're not quite mass-produced yet.

SPEAKER_03 50:40

You're at a dinner party. What do you do for a living? Well, I'm an artisanal frog scrotum.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

Beat that next person around the dinner table.

SPEAKER_04 50:51

Oh, I already I do that, would you believe? Yeah. So it is one of the world's one of the world's largest frogs. There you go. And it is very much endangered due to the pollution and um and the fact that it is um being hunted. Yeah, hunted for its traditional medicine. Well, I think so. There we go. There are my two um two very different but very cute animals for our menagerie this week. So Scrooge and Frog and um What was my first one? Um yes, the pink one. Yes, the um sword fighting. Well, you know, I will put videos up of the flat one because it is beautiful. It is actually quite beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 51:30

And vibrant colours. Do you know when like Chiticaka the men wear hats that signify their marital status? Do they? Yeah, so the big the big tall red hat, the single man, and then the smaller, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:41

So the tall hat small depressed ones are the married for multiple years.

SPEAKER_04 51:46

But that makes sense because that's what the male birds do to attract a mate. Yes. A colourful vibrant and yes, they wear huge hats.

SPEAKER_02 51:55

It makes it that much harder to fly.

SPEAKER_04 51:56

It's the one with all the feathers and the fancy things, and you know, so the male, is it the bigger the hat, the more status or um the more single you are. Every year.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

I mean incels, so I have the six foot tall.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

Every year it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. I'm ready to mingle. Yeah. They indicate um I think you have to walk with the little sticks holding it. Holding your hat up because it's so tall.

SPEAKER_02 52:20

Now it's become animatronic. I can move it left. I can move it right.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

Yeah, let me let me look it up because I'm I'm so sure that I do.

SPEAKER_02 52:28

Mine's got a little rat inside it now.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

Monster.

SPEAKER_03 52:33

Yes. I'm right. Um yeah, because I remember seeing it when we were there. On like on Tequil Island, like Titicaka, a man's marital status is clearly displayed by the colour of his knitted hat, known as a chulo. Single, a hat with a red base and white top. If looking for a relationship, the pom-pom or tip is often tilted to the side. Oh married, a solid red hair hat. The knitting is done exclusively by the men. And a high quality chulo is a point of pride and a way to signal readiness for marriage.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

So, and what does a chulo look like? Is it has it got the flat rim? Um, let's say it's knitted though. It's knitted so it's gotta be a beanie, doesn't it? Well, is it? Um yeah, because uh the I remember that's where she was in a uh a um days when she was there. Frogs from frog scroat and frog scroat.

SPEAKER_03 53:32

Um I do remember it being long, but actually it wasn't vertically long, it's long and to the side. So draping the long tip to the right means the man is content, whilst draping it to the left indicates he is worried. Jesus Christ. Wow. So that's just it's like a beanie. It's a beanie.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 53:54

Oh wow, yes, yes. It's very much like a beanie and depending on the. Which end the little uh fluffy bit on the end, what do you call it? The tip. The tip goes. The tip depends which way the tip hangs, depends whether they're happy or content. Imagine walking down the street as a woman. That would be very confusing. And if the wind blew and they're all of a sudden all happy or they're all Well, if they're worried, I would be like I'd be like the wind blows and everyone becomes really, really worried.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

Or really aroused is like, what's going on here? I'd come home and be like, Hey Mish, Billy saw you on High Street and your tip and your dip was up. Yeah, come and tell me about that.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

And what are you worried about? Do the women have to wear hats?

SPEAKER_03 54:36

No.

SPEAKER_04 54:37

Which of the women that wear the the rounds?

SPEAKER_03 54:41

The bowler hats. Yeah, the they wear it in um Peru. Peru, yeah. Peruvian women wear the the bowler hats. Um but yes.

SPEAKER_04 54:48

Isn't that amazing that the hats are a col a um like a status cultural status for nearly 500 years?

SPEAKER_03 54:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 54:56

So you can't you don't really sell them, they don't like sell them to buying the.

SPEAKER_03 55:03

Oh, it was colonization.

SPEAKER_02 55:04

That was like, you know, that can't have been around for too long over the years.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

No, no, this is we're talking about the knitted hat.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

No, no, but you were mentioning the bowler hats. I'm fascinated there by why the bowler hat would have been a bit of a few.

SPEAKER_04 55:13

And why the women the women wear the bowler hats. Oh, and Emma's found more hat information.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

I have because um men are chosen by their mates based on their ability to successfully knit a chulo with tiny wire thin needles. Actually, Gunty, you'd be successful in this. I'm a bit concerned about how Hamish would go with this. To be honest.

SPEAKER_02 55:34

I'm up to Peru, baby, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 55:35

Yeah, according to Alejandro, the sign of a good partner is one who can make a pin-tight chulo, one knitted so well that it is able to hold water over large distances when turned upside down.

SPEAKER_02 55:49

I'm gonna say anyone that can knit something can hold water.

SPEAKER_04 55:51

So, therefore, you can keep your family in water and be good. Like it's it's smart. Like that's a smart way of knowing if someone's gonna be able to, you know, help your family.

SPEAKER_02 56:03

It's a pretty irrelevant challenge.

SPEAKER_04 56:04

Like not when you need water. No, but you know, making something that can bear water, sure. I can answer that question. Right, you've got seven meals left, no. You've got three cups in yours, I'll have you come.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you a roll of chicken chicken wire, and I want you to make something that carries water, you know?

SPEAKER_04 56:22

Yeah, but they're not got chicken wire in them.

SPEAKER_02 56:24

No, no, I'm just saying that.

SPEAKER_04 56:25

Where's the chicken wire coming from?

SPEAKER_02 56:28

Completely pointless for holding water.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

And they're made of angora wool like Angora wool, correct? And it says would-be fathers-in-law often test the trulos of their daughters' potential husbands. So, Brenton, would you Margie? Let's ask Brenton test.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

Did the fact that I I sprayed mine with you know like a rubber compound on the inside qualify?

SPEAKER_04 56:49

Yeah, but yeah, it just shows you being industrious. That's good. But you you were a good sewer as a young kid. You used to have a sewing machine and make your own clothes and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 56:57

I don't know if I was good, but I didn't.

SPEAKER_04 56:58

Well, you did, so with practice, you know, you would have gotten good. So if you'd had to to get a mate, you would have made a very elaborate hat knowing. Sure. I made pretty elaborate jeans. You did.

SPEAKER_03 57:10

Purple velvet pants.

SPEAKER_02 57:11

Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_03 57:12

Oh, I love you made purple velvet pants. Oh yeah, they're almost pants.

SPEAKER_02 57:17

Flares.

SPEAKER_03 57:18

Oh, brilliant. Rock eye pants.

SPEAKER_02 57:20

Yeah. I mean, you can't get away with wearing purple velvet flares anywhere but on stage.

SPEAKER_03 57:24

Yeah. Well, or unless you prints, he could wear them to grocery shops.

SPEAKER_02 57:27

Well, that's true. Shop. Yeah, he could go to the shop.

SPEAKER_03 57:30

Grocery shopping. Um, grocery shopping outfit. Yeah. Alejandro proudly explained that his chulo could hold water for 30 meters without losing a single drop and was impressive enough to attract his wife to your dose of the stuff. But so what do they do? Walk around with their cats full of water. Like how did But far out, if you look at I'm not I'm not dissing, um, but seriously, it's toughs are time times are t tough, toughs of time and times are tough. They're 44 and they honestly look like a hundred.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Yeah, they look a little bit older than 44.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

Yep. Freaking hell. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:08

That's what's she got on her head?

SPEAKER_03 58:10

Oh, um, I don't know, maybe it's like far out though. There's what's God, that's tough living. Like Titicaka is. Holy shit. So you want to make your chulo early because it looks like you you things are going downhill pretty quickly.

SPEAKER_04 58:30

And then do you just wear that same one? Like, do you have multiple ones? Like Well, then you wear it, but uh oh, because hang on. If you're wearing one and it's not impressing people, do you need to get another one? And then do you what if you if you shit at it, do you get someone else to make it for you?

SPEAKER_02 58:46

Uh secretly just paying the good chillo to make it.

SPEAKER_04 58:49

Surely you'd pay the best person who makes them to make one for you.

SPEAKER_02 58:52

That's a very western way of thinking.

SPEAKER_04 58:54

It is a very western way of thinking. Sorry, I apologise to you.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

But also I think people you've got to fold it up once you're married, because you you'd have a single chillow versus the married man chill.

SPEAKER_04 59:03

Yes, because his was all red in that picture. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Which means he's in married.

SPEAKER_04 59:06

He's married.

SPEAKER_03 59:07

So when he was younger, he had a white with a red tip. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:11

I'm not gonna touch that.

SPEAKER_04 59:14

That's the new Ernie one I must.

SPEAKER_02 59:21

So, what happens if you're colourblind in Peru? Are you gonna get very confused?

SPEAKER_04 59:25

No, because it's still the two different tones.

unknown 59:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 59:30

I I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 59:33

It's really interesting, Em. I guess it's really interesting. But I've just got like this visual now of interplanning the world's most elaborate part and like spending years and years diagrams all around the wall. I was having a conversation with my friend who works in a medical field, and one of the questions that they have to ask is are you related to like are your parents related? When? When would they ask that?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

Before you get the job.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:04

No, hang on, sorry. In other words, are you mounted? I've done that thing, I've done that thing where I just have dived in. And can you play banjo? Yeah, I mean we know the recipe. You know all the context and you don't. Like you were not there for this. It's all occurred in my brain. So I'm so sorry. I was talking with a friend who's in a medical field about her doing an initial intake assessment on patients for medical conditions. And one of the questions that she is required to ask is are your parents related? No, I've had medical intakes where I've had to go in.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:44

I've never been asked that because if only if your eyes are too far apart or too close to the phone.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:50

Because they she has had a recent fate of cousins being married, and then the kids are, there's issues. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:00

Is she working in Utah?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:02

No, in Australia. Australia. And then the word is consanguine. Consanguine. Is that when you're munted by It's Latin meaning of the same blood?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

Oh, because of yeah, sanguination. Exanguination is no blood in the body, the blood being removed for the body. So okay, sanguine.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

So it's like, are you children of Circe and Jamie Linuscard? Yes. Well they're all fucked, weren't they? Yeah, are you co consanguine? And you've got to ask that with Pearl, how Pearl looked the same as her auntie because she'd been like inbred and that's the case. But they do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

But your question, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

Sorry, animals do that all the time. Like, we know a lot of animals, hence my rabbits that are currently here having to be in two cages because they um they mate. But they do say if you leave them too many generations, so if my brother and sister that they not my brother's sister, if I say rabbits, my rabbits who are brother and sister.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

So something that you have.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:07

So my rabbits who are brother and sister, if they mate and have children, and their children mate, and then say their children mate, then they begin to get all sorts of defects and what happens in the case. So they do still actually do do that. Like it's not good for them to mate with sanguine.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

But there's some number, and I don't know what it is. But it's it's some actually remarkably small number of people that you can repopulate with before you get the crossbreding problems. And if I remember, and it's probably wrong. It was like 22 people or something like this.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

I love I'm only good doing it.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:43

Well, actually, uh 21, and then I found Billy.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:49

I've been researching my family tree.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

I should have known this before I met you, Gunther. Are we doing Gunda Science Crip? This is like a three-hour long.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:02

One vote. No, it's it's pretty quick, and um it's just a couple of stats. It's just a couple of stats. Not about inbreeding.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:08

Okay, I'm cutting the inbreeding out.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

Well, because it's recommended.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:21

Because Emma can't breathe.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:27

No more inbreeding. Okay, Susan.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:34

No. Actually, you're right because my imprint didn't. I almost thought they said that.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

Oh, the sun that I haven't heard about. It's me all the time. Bum bum bum.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:44

No, they said they love you. I thought like a son, but they were saying you as son.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:54

Guntier heart, you heard us crap, gunt our science crap.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

So this was just one that came up in uh New Scientist, and I thought it was interesting because it's a real um sign of the times thing. The so this is about metals and how they affect the upper layers of the atmosphere.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:14

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

Which is related to satellites and rocket launches and all this sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:18

Oh, had not thought. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:20

Yeah, so we've got a lot of satellites up there and they're coming down, and they're mostly made of aluminium because we want them to be light and all that sort of stuff. But aluminium, when it burns up in the in the stratosphere or the atmosphere of high levels, um turns into aluminium oxide because it reacts with the oxygen, which forms a particular um gas, which is guess what? A um uh an ozone depleting gas. So the ozone hole that had been getting smaller, um, and we'd done all sorts of awesome stuff by changing refrigerants and um all that sort of stuff and propellants.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:52

Oh, CFCs?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:53

CFCs, yes. Yes. Um because we'd reduced that, the hole is getting smaller and that was actually sort of healing. Um, and now we're about to start turning it around the other way again.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:03

No, there's all the stuff we put into space.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:05

Because all the stuff we're putting into space.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:06

So it's coming the other way down.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:07

Did you say Elon? Yeah, you're right. Um so literally, Starlink at the moment has 14,500 satellites.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:15

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:15

He has a plan to put another million satellites up.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:18

Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

One million satellites more, right? And that's not just that.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:22

Is that to make a net around the world? Like, yeah, no, it's for his internet coverage stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:27

Um that's just Elon, right? There's plenty of other people putting up satellites.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:30

It's not just down to all countries.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:32

But um it's a really interesting uh aspect of it. And um researchers estimate that spacecraft burn up is releasing a thousand tons of aluminium aluminium oxide into the atmosphere each year and growing. Uh this threatened to expand the southern hemisphere's ozone hole, which has been previously shrinking. Debris uh stuffing.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:55

So there's even cheese up there.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:09

Next to stuff and wild.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:15

We will cycle the oil three times.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:19

And then pair it with a nice wine. But it's a and funny you mentioned this because it there's actually in this article, it's very strange, it gets to a point here where it says there may be a solution, such as building satellites out of materials like wood.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:33

Oh wood? What? Yeah. That's wood. Yeah. Doesn't that explode and burn?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

Well, yes, absolutely, which is kind of good because it just burns like wood.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:43

Oh, that bad, you know, just like firewood.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:48

In the atmosphere.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:50

Um I cannot imagine them sitting. I know wood satellites, right? It's a very strange idea.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:55

Because it's heavy. Well, not none of it's IKEA furniture. None of it's IKEA furniture.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:01

IKEA satellites. They arrive in space and you have to put them together yourself. And no one sent it down on you.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:17

Put it together back to front.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:22

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:23

Yeah, I thought that was interesting though. You know, just in broad sense, we're kind of screwing up things again for a different reason.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:28

Oh man, yeah. Fucking human beings. Yeah. I know they're they're ruining Scrotum Frogs and space. From Scrotum Frogs to Space!

SPEAKER_04 1:07:38

That's the title of the year. Scrotum Frogs to Space. All right. Thanks for that great. And I think we might end on that. Thanks for that great title, Emma. I'm gonna call it that. Uh thanks for listening, gang. Uh, we'll see you on the flip side. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye.