Homecoming

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Not Christmas…but homecoming! In this episode of Between the Bells, we’re discussing all the things that happen before, during, and after the big day.
 Topics like:
 ·       Who truly enjoys going to the dance?
 ·       Is getting ready the best part?
 ·       What are after parties really like?
·       Is anyone having fun... or just pretending to?
With homecoming being just around the corner, you can listen to honest opinions, silly anecdotes, and relatable stories from people who know and remember the chaos of the festivities all too well.

Transcript

00:04 

Hi everyone, welcome to the Between the Bells podcast. You're here with Cami, Alexa, Lucy, Maddie, Ruby, Annelise, and Mrs. Graham. Hi guys, welcome back to our second episode. We just want to give a big thanks because we got 150 downloads in the first 48 hours. Thank you for listening to us. We appreciate it so much. We're so happy. We just want to thank a few people who helped us bring this idea to life. 

 00:35 

We want to thank Mr. Henderson first because he is our principal and he really supported us and encouraged us. Thank you, Mr. Henderson. We also want to thank Ms. Andreassi, Ms. Hernandez, and our communication department. Without them, this wouldn't have been possible to start and the funding. And thank you so much. 

 00:58 

Thank you. And we'd also like to thank Mr. Armstrong for all of his tech support and hooking us up with a mic. This podcast genuinely like would not be possible without him. So we're very thankful. And we want to give a big thanks to Ryan for the wonderful photos. They were fantastic. The ones on our website. Yes. Perfect. 

 01:19 

All right. All right. So, second podcast, how are we feeling? What's new? Yeah. Good. So, homecoming's next week. That's the big topic. I'm excited for the themes. I'm going to dress as Adam Sandler because there's an Adam Sandler day. It's on a Tuesday, so I've got to wear my fun shorts. Yeah, it's not just a dance, right? There's all kinds of stuff going on. Yeah. It's a whole process. It is. I think hoco’s a very... 

 01:48 

delicate topic sometimes when it comes to certain people. Yeah. Yeah, because I know like 

 01:55 

groups and stuff cause issues. Yes. So are we going to homecoming? I'm not. Okay. No. I'm not. Me and Maddie are going. I feel like I'm on the edge. I just, I feel like I'm not finding like, I'm not finding a group that like I want to go with. They have dates. It's like, I've gotten like, cause I have my friends, but I don't think our theme, same ideas of homecoming are lining up right now. Which is, I don't know. 

 02:24 

What are our ideas for homecoming? Is it like going with a date or going with just friends or like... Oh, okay. I think a lot of people go with their friends, but a group of guy friends go with a group of girls. So they're all with their friends, but they all have a date. And I feel like finding dates is a big topic in homecoming. I think it causes a lot of drama. A lot of stress, a lot of drama. Yeah. It's not actually for like the date idea part. Like, oh, I'm going to go with someone with this person afterwards. It's more just having fun and more people in your group and like... 

 02:52 

having a connection with other different people. Like the feedback from a lot of people that they liked the getting ready and going out and taking pictures and like eating dinner and all of that more than they like the actual homecoming dance because at the dance, the student council or whoever sets up the dance, they put so much effort into it and it looks great every year. Shout out student council.  

 03:20 

Even like the dances in the middle school, they were like very well put together. And the student council does a great job every year. And I feel like people don't appreciate that like as much as they should because everyone is kind of focused…like they go and they're more focused on, oh my gosh, this is so boring. Like we're all just standing around here because I feel like that's what a lot of people do when they go to homecoming. 

 03:47 

They do all the before stuff, then they go to the dance, and they're just stuck standing around. Do you think that's because, like, in ninth and tenth grade, they're nervous to dance? Oh, yeah. Actually, I kind of disagree with that. I think everyone wants to be there and dance, but you just have to have one person that is, quote, unquote, not, like, 

 04:09 

willing to embarrass themselves with each other. I feel like I always try to start dancing. It takes a second. I have to like pull a friend down. We start dancing together and then the whole group starts to come in. Then it's fun. Then it's fun. But somebody, you have to, I don't know. I just feel like I try to make, I'd rather be awkward myself and be an awkward person and make it easier for other people than to... 

 04:31 

for people that are so afraid of being the awkward person to put themselves out there you have to pull people in and be like hey go do this go do that not like bossy but you have to be like hey come on let's go do that yeah do that but if obviously if they don't want to that is completely okay and you could just be like okay like we'll just do it another day or next year or whatnot yeah I feel like people are also afraid of if they go out and they have fun and they 

 04:57 

they just do anything people are…I feel like they're afraid to just live because it's, you know, what if someone takes a picture of me or takes a video of me and I'm doing something and then it gets posted on the internet and it's kind of like an embarrassing like video or picture or whatever like that was me last year I went to homecoming but I sort of just stood around um 

 05:22 

I didn't go in the gym. I kind of like stayed in the cafeteria where everyone else was. And I basically sat like, at a table in the corner the entire night because I was like, I was like, I felt embarrassed for some reason. Cause I didn't have a group. I was kind of floating around to like other groups of people and I was trying to hide. So I, 

 05:49 

I don't know. Kind of speaks to our self-confidence and how comfortable we feel putting ourselves out there. And for everybody that's different, right? And that's okay. Yeah. And that also, but not saying that any of this, this all matters too, but also how can we have student council make it more engaging? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like sometimes when you walk in there, like, 

 06:10 

it's just the music there's nothing else around like I feel like there could be more. What would be the more to do? I'm not even sure, I guarantee like us all thinking up ideas and student council thinking up ideas we could come together with something but I feel like, not that it's not engaging but I feel like there needs to be more things so that you want to be there. It’s more than just a dance right so if there were games or maybe something else to do so like 

 06:37 

I don't know. You can't have it where everyone has something to do. Everyone's doing this. Cause then that's way too big. It's too much for the school and especially student council to handle. But like you can have a bit more, but not everyone's going to love what you do. You're going to have a lot of haters. You're going to have like a lot of people that love it. So it's sort of a balance, right? It's to some degree what you make of it. Right. And then it's what's provided. I remember in middle school, 

 07:03 

Student Council made the best Halloween themed dance. It was so cool. Everybody was in their costumes. They had a bunch of… 

 07:11 

There's dancing. Every dance there’s always like a dance circle when one person goes. It's so fun. I love to watch that. Again, student council does a great job. And they had a haunted hallway. Oh my gosh, that was so scary. I knew it was my friends too and then they tried to scare me more but they couldn't like touch you but like it was just scary. Like, oh my goodness. They jumped out at you. It was so scary. And then they had a movie room 

 07:41 

Which I thought was cool because not everybody wants to dance all the time. It was a little bit quieter in there. It was really cool. So this was a middle school dance that they had. And they had different activities that you could do in addition to the dance. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. And I also, I feel like people need to realize that they can't be like, 

 08:02 

perfect all the time and what I mean by that is sometimes like you just have to be weird to have fun and I think people worry too much about what they look like, how they sound, what they're doing, what the other people think of them that they worry so much about what other people think that they don't stop to think about what they are thinking and how they want to like… 

 08:23 

go about a certain situation and I think that happens a lot at homecoming at the dances like at the school itself. I think people are a lot more comfortable when it's getting ready and going to like after parties, getting dressed up is fun yeah. It’s so fun to get dressed up and put on your makeup do your hair especially for girls I think that's very.. that's a 

 08:50 

big moment. Yeah. You said after parties. Oh yeah, after parties. That's also a big subject. So where do we go? Do we go to after parties? So I'm actually hosting one. Okay. Because my parents love to be the host house. My mom has everyone 

 09:07 

everyone over and my brother plays like hockey so like they just love to be the host house. Tell us about it. What will you do? We have a pool and last year I really regret not going into the pool because we were all just like oh I'm just so tired, I wanted to do my hair, exactly and my one friend 

 09:23 

They're like, oh, we went in the pool and had so much fun. I was like, oh, like, I want to do that. So I'm hoping we're actually going to go in the pool. But then we usually just hang out. And then we walk around, like, the neighborhood sometimes. Not trying to be, like, too disrespectful to everyone. But, like, it's a Saturday night homecoming. People are going to be out. Yeah. And then we just have people come over. And I think it's a lot of fun, to be honest. We have food. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. 

 09:47 

Yeah, so I think something very similar happened to me last year. Last year when I went to homecoming, I didn't go to our school. I went to my boyfriend's school. And at the after party, we didn't plan on going to an after party, but the girls I was with invited us last minute. And we were like, you know what, let's do it. Like, we have nothing to lose. And so... 

10:13 

We go there and it's, they have a pool. They have this beautiful house, beautiful backyard. But I felt like, I think I felt more awkward there than I did at homecoming. Cause there was more people around at homecoming. If there's less people there, it was like, as, as the night went on, I was talking to people and I felt way more comfortable than when I first got there. But it was like, I think maybe a couple of girls went to the pool at the house and they 

10:44 

There was a bonfire and me and my boyfriend kind of just sat around at the bonfire talking to his friends and talking to girls that were in our group. I don't know. I feel like people, I think I worried too much about what other people were thinking of me, especially because I was at a whole nother school. People I've never met, 

 11:01 

with a boyfriend I've been dating for like a shorter amount of time (at the time). Yeah. So I'm hearing a theme like we're all…we all kind of worry not all but sometimes about what people think about us. Yeah. What was I going to say? It just totally left me. 

 11:20 

So to like the after party thing, if you're way more comfortable with people that you know and you're more comfortable with, that's like not one of the issues. But I think that's one of the problems with a big group, because if you don't know everyone, then you feel really uncomfortable to even do stuff that you normally would have done. And it's just like you feel so uncomfortable. That's why you like…most people want to have a smaller group, but just ends up being so big because nobody likes each other. You just want to like have more people to be included and stuff like that. 

 11:50 

What Lucy said about going to the other school…I think about it sometimes, and I just wish I had an excuse to go to another school. I wish I had a friend who goes to a different school that I could go with, because to me that sounds like so much fun, because you go to a school where no one knows you, you don't know these people, and so really you can... 

 12:19 

you can put yourself out there to those people as like whoever you want. I don't know if that makes sense but like you…I mean you don't even have to tell them your name, it's not like you can’t. So we're all different sometimes when we're around people we don't know, we're more nervous well they're still outgoing I mean because it's kind of like I don't know you people and 

 12:45 

And maybe I'll never see you again. So why does it matter? Yeah. And so that's how you feel. And Lucy was like, I feel uncomfortable because I don't know these people and I don't know what to do. So we're all different in that respect. Well, yeah. But I also was, I was so excited to go because there was also meeting new people there, but I feel like I don't want to blame anything on him, but he obviously went to go with his friends and I kind of was like trying to talk to like other people and 

 13:10 

And that's what kind of worried me because I didn't have that one comfort. He was a lean on. Yeah, I was with him the whole night, but there was also times where obviously he was going to go with his friends and that's totally okay. But there was, I think, I was so excited to meet new people and I love the thrill of meeting new people, as Ruby said. But it was also a little nerve wracking because of... 

 13:38 

New school. Yeah. And that's the thing to me is that like people hype after parties up so much. Oh, I've been hearing. So much, so much. Everyone hypes it up. They're like, eh, the dance, we're there for a little bit. But then the after party, that's what matters. And I feel like sometimes we hype it up so much that it ends up failing. I can just see it like crumbling. Too much pressure on the after party. Expectations are way too high. So when you get there, you're like, oh, dang. 

 14:05 

I feel like a lot of people expect it to be some sort of crazy Project X. And it's like, you know... 

 14:18 

we're in high school, how much can you really expect from an after party? Because what are you guys going to do, we can all sit in a circle and play duck duck goose. What are we going to do? I think we think about sometimes what we see on TV or in the media when you're little and you forget that we're in high school. We’re kids. 

 14:36 

But college parties? Yeah. Really different. Right. So do you, is there the fear that there might be something like you'd see at a college or more adult type of party with drinking or drugs? Is that a thing that we worry about? Yes. Always. Yeah. So if we worry about it, what is it? What do you mean? What are you thinking? So I think you should have someone to talk to about it, especially someone you trust. 

 15:02 

Personally, my parents and I have a like secret code kind of, if you don't want to be there, you just text this simple thing and then they'll come immediately. No questions or if you want to talk about it, they will be there to talk about it. So it's just like a safety net kind of. 

 15:16 

So have like a plan going in. Yeah. Almost like a backup plan if something should happen. Do you mind sharing what your safety code is? So we do, if you send like a stop sign to either of my parents or like just a group, like the family group chat. Like the emoji. Yeah, the stop sign emoji. Then they will immediately come pick you up because we all share a location. Okay. 

 15:35 

I love that. They immediately come pick you up and, like, be there. And then if you want to talk about it, you can. If you don't, you don't. And then next day there will be, like, a little bit of questions. But, like, if you don't want to, it's fine. So there's no pressure with it. Like, you're not in trouble. It's like, you called me. I came and got you.  

 15:51 

I’m just glad that you even called me and didn't stay there in the uncomfortable situation. I love that. I feel like that's what we fear, is that like when we do call them and we need them to pick us up, they're either mad at us because they had to wake up in the middle of the night and they're coming and picking you up. Or…I just blanked in the middle of what I was about to say. Shoot. Or it's like you did something you shouldn't have done. Yes. And you're scared to tell them because you know they're going to ask you questions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 

 16:20 

Sometimes it... Sometimes you are honestly just around the wrong crowd. Like, the wrong group of people. I don't really know what I was going to say, but... Know where you're going? You can... Yeah, you can... 

 16:38 

know who you hang out with. Sometimes people in a group are different than they are by themselves and um, that’s, I don't really know why that is but you could…you can meet all these people in a group and they all seem very just…not like the sort of people you'd want to be around every single day but when you meet them individually um 

 17:03 

You can also be like, wow, I want to be your best friend. Right. When I think about you talking about going to your friend's, your boyfriend's school and you went to this after party with people you didn't know. Yeah. So sometimes I think we can plan and like know where we're going and know that this is a safe place. And other times we end up in spaces where, you know, 

 17:22 

We don't know. So I think it does make sense to have a sort of like a pre-planned out, right? Or even just in the moment, what do you do and what do you say? Like if somebody was trying to, I mean, I know we think about, you know, the counselor here bringing up peer pressure. 

 17:38 

Right. We talk about peer pressure, but like if you're in a situation like that, what are your strategies? What do you say? What do you do? You can make like excuses and stuff for why you wouldn't want to do these things. Like, well, do you have one? Have you thought of an excuse or something you would say? 

 17:55 

…uncomfortable situation yeah like if somebody was like do that or here you want to try it? I’d be like oh my parents would kill me like blame it on my parents like yeah they're happy to be the scapegoat usually right or like if it's keeping me safe. Yeah um this is a little like off topic of exactly what we were talking about but going back to what we were talking about a little bit earlier saying like people change when they're around other people yeah 

 18:21 

And what makes me so sad is because like, they're so nice as themselves, you’re having a one-on-one conversation, but when they start… 

 18:29 

They’re in a certain group where they feel like they need to play a role. Yeah. Then like, you're like, well, where’s the person that I just met? Yeah. And I, I hate it because like, I love them as a person. It's just like, like, what do you mean? You're not authentic. Do you think we've all done that to some degree? Yeah. Yeah. But it does come to an extent. I think it's human. Yeah. I think it's human. I think it affects some people more than others. On the daily. Yeah. I would just like to bring, like talk about, 

18:59 

What were we talking about earlier? How to respond to peer pressure? Honestly, I'm not a person that goes out much because I spend a lot of time at school events and I'm just busy. I'm really busy with a lot of music stuff. I don't go out much, but I try to be as honest as I can because I know when I have friends tell me or lie to me about just... 

 19:31 

I just want the truth. I just want to know why or so I don't cross your boundaries. Because I try to be as honest like, I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in that because the genuine approach, I love that. Like, this is me. I'm not into doing that. And they should respect that if they're your friends and if they don't respect that, then maybe you need a new friend. Yeah. It's really hard to… 

 19:53 

And it is. Yeah. And I hate to say it, but, like, you can't just not be friends. Sorry, go on. It's easier said than done. Yes. Which is the problem. Which is the problem with a lot of things. Which it also depends on if you want to decide to do it, like, if you decide you want to do it in a good way, which is, like, having a conversation with them, saying, okay, if this is happening... 

 20:15 

we need to fix it. And if it happens again, okay, then maybe we should distance ourselves from each other. And it might depend on your relationship with the person, right? Like if they're close friends that are asking or, you know, saying that, then maybe we're genuine. If they're not, it's just some random people we don't know. Like in Lucy's case, it might've been just like, yeah, my parents will kill me. I don't want to do that. Texting mom, stop, get me out of here. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Anything else? I, when they were talking about like friends and not being able to drop people, I think, yeah, 

 20:45 

Like, if a friend reacts that way, I think it is a lot easier said than done. But I also think that's where you need to grow, like, your backbone and say that if this happens in the future, or if this will happen in the future, they'll react like this in the future. You can't keep putting yourself in situations that you know are going to happen. And I think that's when you need to pull yourself from that friendship and 

 21:06 

And realize that there are better people out there than ones who get mad at you for making your own decisions that are better for you. You deserve better. You need to realize who your friends are and who you want. Always, always, always put yourself first. Well, on that note, I think that's all the time we have. Thank you. See you next time.