Next Steps (No Pressure)

In this episode, we talk with our guest, SV Sophomore, Quinn, honestly about the stress of future planning, grades, and the pressure to have everything figured out. Through real stories and reflection, this episode explores uncertainty, changing paths, and the idea that there’s no single “right” plan after high school. It’s a reminder that growth takes time, mistakes are part of the process, and the next step doesn’t have to be perfect to be the right one. 

Transcript

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Hi everyone. Welcome to the Between the Bells podcast. You're here with Cami, Alexa, Lucy, Maddie, Ruby and. 

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Annelise and Mrs. Graham. 

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Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Uh, so today I kind of wanted to talk about something that we have coming up in January. So for us here at Seneca Valley, scheduling opens for the next school year. And our students at this time of the year, I tend to have a lot of conversations, um, surrounding like future plans. Right. And what is life after high school going to look like for me? Do I want to go to college? Do I want to go to post-secondary school? And so today we invited one such student who wanted to talk about this topic to join us. 

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Her name is Quinn. So hi, Quinn. Thanks for. 

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Being here. Thanks for having me. Hi. Hi. Hi, Quinn. 

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So, Quinn, why is this topic of such interest to you? Like, what made you want to come and talk about this? Of all the things. 

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I wanted to talk about this because this is such an uncertain subject. Okay. There's so many questions and so many like, answers that can't be given. Nobody really knows what's happening. 

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Okay. Does anybody else feel maybe uncertain or uneasy. 

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All the time? Every single day. I spiral about it. 

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I feel like we don't talk about it enough in school, but like we do, but we don't. 

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I feel like teachers kind of expect you to know what you want to do, and it's kind of hard to when you're so young. 

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So tell me about why you think teachers expect you to know what you want to do. Do they say like that? Like you should know what you want to do? Or is that coming from something else? 

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Um, well, I know we do this at our school. We do every once a month. It's like a career development thing. Yeah. And it's like, we could do that a thousand times in a day. And I feel like kids still won't want to. Won't know what they want to do. It wants you to, like, pick a career and pick which career path and like, and then pick the college. Yeah, it's like you don't even know what you're doing. Like, there's so much more into that than I do. You're just picking it like. 

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Yeah. So you just feel like maybe the idea of those lessons makes you think or feel like you need to have that, and you're just not ready. 

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I feel like this is a topic, like. Like what you're going to do for the rest of your life is something that's so important. And like Quinn said, there's so much uncertainty around it to the point where like, yeah, it stresses you out because no one has a clear cut, decisive answer for you. Everybody's different. Yeah, right. It's hard. Yeah. And like, you make a mistake and you choose a different path that you don't want to go on or, like, doesn't actually speak to you. It's. Yeah, there's a lot of money. Yeah. 

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There's so many influences that could, like, change your decision so quickly. Right. 

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The right one. 

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Yeah. 

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So one of the things that I tell students a lot is that, you know, you we as people. Right. Not just high school students, but adults. Like I'm like our evolution. The human evolution. We are always changing, right? We. You weren't the same people today that you were when you were in, you know, elementary school, right? You have different interests. If I asked you, you know, what you wanted to be when you grow up when you were in first grade, right? Is that the same as maybe what you think now? 

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Yeah. 

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When I was in. 

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First grade, I said I wanted to be the Queen of England. Oh. And then my dreams got crushed. So. But yeah. 

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You learned you couldn't be the queen of England. 

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Yeah. 

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My dad broke the news to me. 

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Well, maybe you can be the president of the United States. 

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Exactly. There we go. Do you think they will let me wear a crown? 

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Yeah. Yeah. At one point, everyone wanted to be like a vet. 

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Yeah. 

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Yeah. Or something. Yeah. I mean, it's. 

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Really common because. So. So here's the reality, right? We can only say at this point that we want to be or do something with the background knowledge that we have. Right. If you don't know a job or career exists. You can't say, oh, hey, I want to go do that. 

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That's the other thing I feel like we were only like, given the mainstream jobs. Like doctor, nurse, astronaut. 

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Yeah. 

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Like, when you're younger, you only see the things that like you have, you have exposure to. 

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Right? 

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Yeah. Like you go to the doctor, you go to school. I remember wanting to be a bus driver when I was like in kindergarten. 

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Well, that's perfect because I wanted to be a crossing guard. 

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Yes, yes. 

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Right. It's because those are the things that we know and that we see, right? So then as we grow up right, we learn that there's more in the world. And even in ninth and 10th grade, you're still going to learn that there is like more in the world, right? The other thing that I say, though, is that there really isn't a one job for one person, like finding your soulmate, right? It's not necessarily like there's a soulmate job out there for you, but what research tells us is that students or people, right? Not just students, but people in life are happy in a career when it meets their interests. 

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Their values. Right? Their personality traits and their skills. So if you have a job that's kind of capitalizing on those four things, then chances are you're going to enjoy that job and be happy. Does that make sense? 

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Yeah, I think I think it's so hard because you have to balance like making money, but also doing something that you love because, I mean, I know for me personally, like in the future, to have a job like it's gonna be I want it to be something that I'm passionate about because how am I supposed to put my best effort, my best work, my all my time into this? If I just don't like it, I don't like it. I don't really care about it. I don't like it. 

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This is my dad. This is something my dad says. My dad says if I loved what I did for my job, it would be my hobby. And that's like, 

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I don't know. I feel like that a lot of people can relate to that because a lot of people, um, you see it, you know, a lot of people, they become adults and they go into the workforce and then, you know, ten years, 10 or 15 years into their job, they're miserable because they hate it and it doesn't fulfill them. Yep. 

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And I think that also speaks to that we change. Right. 

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I heard you're changing every day. 

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Yes. And so what I like to do this year may not be what I want to do in ten years. So then it's like, how do I have the resources and the skills and the ability then to make a change? Right. Um, and I think that's the important part. So we sort of started off talking about how there's so much uncertainty. Right. And so like, how do we get comfortable with the uncertainty and how do we cope with that so that we can not let it overwhelm us and still like 

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have have options? 

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How do you handle your anxiety about the future when everything is uncertain and things are changing every single day. Well, how do we do that? Me personally, I plan okay, I have a I have a planner. I put stuff in there. I check things off, I'm like, ooh, that's done. Yeah. It's just like moving to the next step of, like, finding what you want to do. I can't write that down in a planner. That's not something I could be like. Find out what you want to do. Find out where you want to go. It's very difficult, and I don't know how to cope with that. 

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There's so many opportunities. And it's like, what? Like what do I even start? Where do I start? Yeah. Which opportunity do I take? Which one. What's correct for me. Like I don't know. And I feel like I've been able to lean on like my guidance counselor and my parents and friends for like, if I don't know if I'm having a freak out moment or I'm like, I don't know if I actually want to do this. Like and they kind of help me calm down and realize, like, you have we have time. Like we're young. Like we're figuring it out. Even though next year we actually have to kind of start more figuring out what we need to do. 

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And I know that's kind of closer, but like, I feel like we still have enough time to realize, like kind of what we want to do in a way. Right. I think it's hard because, um. 

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You want to stay so present in the moment. You guys know that I. You guys know I love women's basketball. I love Paige back. Her favorite thing to say is, like, stay grounded, like where your feet are and stuff. It's so hard because you want to stay grounded. You want to, like, take every day, be present in each moment. But it's also hard because you want to be planning for the future and like what's correct for you. And you don't want to get too stuck in the future, but you also want to you also just it's hard. It's like, what. 

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Are you supposed to do? 

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There's a balance. 

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You have to find balance in life. And I feel like there's no there's not like a little angel on your shoulder telling you like, this is the balance you need. You need to be doing this, and you need to be doing this like, no, you're making your own decisions for yourself, what's correct for you. 

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And then when you ask people like, how did you know what you were going to do? It's a different story each time. And it's like, well, one day I was just like, you know, I guess I'll go to law school or it's like, oh, yeah, I think I just decided to study business. Yeah. That doesn't that doesn't happen. Yeah. It doesn't just come to you one day. You're like, you know, you're sitting in your college class, you're a communications major, you're sitting in English. You're like, you know what? I actually think I want to go to business school like that doesn't just it doesn't just come to you like that. 

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It's very like over time. Yeah, it's it's, um, progressive. It's a, it's a very like I don't want to say difficult, but I guess, like, it's a complex process of how it happens. 

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It's an evolution. 

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I feel. 

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Like it's the word. 

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I think you have to be okay with, like, failure and trying stuff out and like having to put yourself out there, which is way harder than it sounds. Yeah, well, you have to be okay with doing this and doing that, and then you have to accept that you're not going to be the best at everything, and that you're going to have to try your hardest. And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Yeah. And it kind of sucks because like, if you want to do something that goes along with your parents and then you end up not liking it. It's like, oh, I didn't expect that to happen. Or it's just so uncertain. Yeah, yeah. 

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And like I always like say and I tell my mom everything happens for a reason. Like, everything, every little part happens for a reason. And if it's bad or if it's good, it helps you in the long run. You might not know it exactly in that moment, but in the future you're like, oh, that really helped me for what I'm doing now, right? So that's kind of how like I sometimes have to think too. Mhm. 

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Yeah I think our greatest teachers can sometimes be our failures. Right. The mistakes that we make, the things that don't go our way, we learn from that and then we can move on. 

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I agree. 

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Yeah. Learning can be uncomfortable. 

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It's hard. 

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Like Quinn, are you like a perfectionist. 

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I think in some subjects, yes. 

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So like how do. 

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You. 

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Handle making mistakes and stuff when you want everything to be perfect? Um. 

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I think. 

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I think I'm actually a. 

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Pretty quick, like, acceptor. Like, I think I'm like, okay, I made this mistake, but then solving it and like, trying to figure out why I made the mistake is very difficult. 

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I love that you just said the word acceptance and that you're just not sitting in, like, dwelling on the mistake, right? I have this image in my office. Right? That's like it says it's clouds and it's raining. Right? And on one side it says it's raining. And then somebody, it's like their thoughts around it, and it's like, I hate the rain. The rain is terrible. I'm gonna get all wet. I can't go outside like all these things about why, like I'm bummed it's raining. And then on the other side it says it's raining. Yep. And that's acceptance, right? Like you just. 

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Yep. Okay, so that happened. And now what do we do to move on and move forward? Because when we sit and dwell doesn't get us anywhere. Yeah. 

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Well that's only with certain things because I do dwell on a lot of things maybe that impact me physically or emotionally, but I feel like making a mistake in class or getting something wrong on an exam. That's a pretty easy fix for me. 

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And I think we have to remember that those mistakes don't necessarily define us, just because maybe I didn't do as well as I wanted to on a certain test. That doesn't mean that to me. If it doesn't mean right that that is gonna, you know, ruin my whole future, right? We can still get where we're going and we can still be successful. Right. 

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Like you can we can end with a C, can end with a B, and it's okay because maybe you're like, well, that's not for me. 

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How do you figure that out though? Because I feel like for me, like I like, I don't know, I'm so anxious. I don't want to get bad grades because then I feel like that's going to negatively impact my future. Me too. How do I how do we cope with that? How do we handle like understand? We're saying all these things like, you know. 

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Making mistakes is okay and like everything can change, but how do you actually like you have to teach your brain that. How do you teach your brain that it's okay if I don't have an A in this class? I'm trying really hard. You're learning other things. Like. I don't know how to do that. Do you guys have any suggestions? Yes. Okay, so right now my grades aren't good. Like, they're not the best. They could be better. And when you first look at it and you first look at all those letters and you see the percentages, it's it like it shocks you a bit and it's like, what did I do? Why are these bad? And it's like the way I thought about it is like, this is these are the grades of of right now. 

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These aren't the grades that my college, that college recruiters are gonna see. Like, these aren't the grades that colleges are going to look at because you have one D for a couple days, doesn't one grade doesn't define you as a student. And I think that's where acceptance comes in. And you need to accept that if you are passionate about having good grades, then you need to be passionate about getting it up. You can't sit there and cry because, oh, I have a bad grade in this class. Like, okay, yeah, so is everyone else. 

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And I want to talk about good and bad for a second. Right. So like this evaluation and this judgment, if it's good and it's bad. And I would say that Lucy's version of good might be different than Quinn's version of good and bad. Right. So when I ask students about like, how are things going academically? How are grades? Typically they'll be like, oh, they're they're good. They're bad, whatever the case may be. But like, what is your goal? Right. Like what is good for you. Right. Your goal might be different than somebody else's goal, right? So I think it's remembering that like Cami your version of good. 

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Like, what is that what is that standard that you're holding yourself to? And sometimes if we let go of that judgment, that classification of this is good and this is bad because that's so black and white. Dare I say, right? Black and white. 

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Thinking. 

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Yeah. 

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Yeah. I just have a question real quick. 

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Is so in the grading system there's a to F. Yeah. An A is considered. Isn't that like above average. 

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I think that's meeting the standard. 

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Right. 

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Yeah. Is it like a. 

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Or is. 

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That B kind of like not like. So I know an A is expected but isn't a C considered actually kind of average or is that more of a B. I'm kind of like you're. 

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Curious. 

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On what that means. And it is. 

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You know, my personal standard is, yeah, I want to get an A, but I'm also accepting a B. 

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So like grades, right. In my mind, there isn't really a label that Seneca Valley is going to put on them. There isn't one that college is going to say average, good, above average. We really don't do it that way. I think it's more of like, how much have you mastered the content right? So like, what is it in AP World or English that you were expected to learn? Right. And how much of that course did you learn? Did you learn 100% of it. 99% of it. 

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It's like how much you take in. 

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Yeah. Like how or. And also how much were you able to show? Right. Like on that assessment, you were able to show that you've mastered this content. So I guess I don't. That's a tough question. 

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Because there's. 

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No. 

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Okay. 

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You don't know like I'd say you you were able to demonstrate on some teacher assessment, right, that you have mastered, you know, whatever percent of that content and probably look at it that way. Does that make sense. 

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Mhm. 

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Okay. So I think circling back to like. 

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To like things that you hold yourself to. Um I think that also comes with a lot of discipline. I think you need to be disciplined enough to work to accept, to first accept a bad grade and then tell yourself, oh, I'm gonna work towards a better one. Yeah. You need to be disciplined. And you can't sit there and complain to your friends like, oh, my grade is so bad, it's so bad. And then do nothing about it because what are you doing? You're just sitting there and complaining. Take that initiative to go and get your grade up, and you need to accept that one grade for having a C for like two weeks isn't the end of the world. 

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If you work towards a better grade, not only will you have self-acceptance, but you'll just you'll feel better. You'll have that. Like you'll have that like I did it, I did it. 

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Mhm. You'll have like the work to feel accomplished. 

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Yeah. 

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And I think that's what it's about. It's it's more about the learning and growing and being persistent. It's about setting a goal and working towards accomplishing it more than it's about. I have to have this pretty perfect picture report card. 

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Yeah. If you if someone had come up to me last year and asked me like, how how are your grades doing? Like, how are you doing in school? How are you blah blah blah. I would, I would have said, oh, like there. 

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They're there, they're going. How are your grades going? 

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They're going like they're fine. They're doing fine because last year I was just trying to get through the school year. Like last year, I was just trying to get to get by. But this year, if you had asked me this year, I would say I'm doing better because I want to do better and I know I can do better. 

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Would you say that your mindset has changed? 

00:18:09:23 - 00:18:42:05

Yeah, I love that you brought that up too, because I think sometimes we need to remember that we have a life outside of school too, right? And the way that we're doing and feeling maybe emotionally or like whatever else is going on in life matters too, right? And like, it could just be that I'm trying to manage all of these things at this moment, and maybe school isn't going to be my first priority in this moment, because I have other things I have to work towards, I can come back to it. I'm still going to manage it because life is about that balance. 

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Yeah, yeah. 

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But sorry. 

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Go ahead. Not only our only option in life is to get through is to get through it. Because that's that's that's the only option we have. There's no other way that it can go. And that's why I always say everything will be okay, because it's the only option. 

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It's going to keep going with. 

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Everything has to be okay. And it will be. 

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Um, I. 

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Also like the way Ruby said because. 

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Like, we don't have a choice. I feel like also, one of the other struggles about deciding what you want to do with your future is like, there's the stereotypical like life. You go, you graduate high school, go to college, start a job, get married, buy a house, start a family. And it's like, I think some people are scared of that, that, that, that's that being different. Yeah, I think people are scared to be outside of that. And because I know I am, I don't want to grow up, just I don't want to graduate college just to get some job that I don't like. 

00:19:41:27 - 00:20:13:28

Yeah, I'm not gonna put myself through more and more years of learning and education just to sit there at my desk every day, working at 9 to 5, it's like, I don't want to do a 9 to 5. I have a bigger purpose than sitting at a desk staring at a computer screen. Yeah. Just typing. Yeah. I don't want to just get married and start a family. It's like I want to live my life. And I think that's what also scares kids. It's because you don't know how to balance your future with what you actually want. You're you're influenced by what you watch. Everything shows you this American dream. And this is the normalcy and this is what you're supposed to do. 

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But like, it's okay to go off path. It's okay. It's okay to pursue what you want to do. It's okay to be different. Like be yourself. And that's alright. 

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And I. 

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This is. 

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Like how I feel. But to me, I don't want to graduate, you know, grow up and graduate and go to college and do blah, blah, blah, blah. Um, I don't know how to I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but I don't want to do all of this just to, like, grow up and become an adult and just be known as someone's mom. And there's nothing wrong with that. If if that's your life goal and you can see yourself like being happy. And that is your dream. And you want to graduate college and you want to start a family that's going to make you happy, that is fine. 

00:21:01:01 - 00:21:27:19

But to me, I in motherhood is beautiful. Um, but that is that's just not what I want to do with my life. And I feel like there it there's too much pressure on it. This is kind of off topic, but I feel like there's a lot of pressure on young girls, young women and young girls to like, especially to follow through this path in succession of how it normally goes, like becoming a mother. I don't know. 

00:21:27:21 - 00:21:47:23

So I think what I'm hearing you say too, is like part of figuring out what we want to do is figuring out what we don't want to do, right? Like sometimes we see things or take classes and we're like, okay, I know I really don't like that. So you've seen something in life where you know, Ruby that like, that's not your path, right? It's fine to be somebody else's, but it's not yours. 

00:21:47:25 - 00:21:48:28

Yeah. Like my mom. 

00:21:49:00 - 00:21:50:28

Like she went in for college. 

00:21:51:00 - 00:21:52:10

With criminology. 

00:21:52:12 - 00:21:57:10

And wanting to be, like, investigate things. And now she's over here managing. 

00:21:57:12 - 00:21:57:28

Banks. 

00:21:58:00 - 00:21:58:20

Like the. 

00:21:58:22 - 00:21:59:07

Crazy. 

00:21:59:09 - 00:21:59:26

Like. 

00:21:59:28 - 00:22:00:13

Change of. 

00:22:00:15 - 00:22:20:26

It. Yes. It's just like that shows what you really want to do. And like the way she has leadership skills and that I've watched her, how she manages things, like I just went and did visits with her like it shows, like it comes out and shows your true colors of what you really want to do in investigating. Might not have been it, but she got to experience it to show that she didn't want to do it and found something better. Yeah. 

00:22:20:28 - 00:22:52:26

So you bring up a really awesome point. So she went to college for criminology but is managing banks. But you mentioned a skill that she learned and something she can do which is leadership. Right. So a lot of these things that we do in one career carry over into others. Right. Like leadership is a skill that you can learn and develop now that you can use in your future. Right. So part of school and a big piece of this is just figuring out and learning those skills. And can we think of others? What are other skills that you might? 

00:22:52:28 - 00:23:03:25

Social skills. Social skills. Communication. How do I talk? How do I talk to people in a way that makes that? It shows them that I know what I'm talking about, and they should. Why should they listen to me? Listen to what I'm saying. 

00:23:03:27 - 00:23:07:21

Problem solving. Right. Working with other people? Critical thinking.

00:23:07:23 - 00:23:11:02

Yes, yes. These are all skills you develop through school.

00:23:11:04 - 00:23:11:24

Through learning. 

00:23:11:26 - 00:23:27:24

Yes. So if we take time to develop those skills. Right. Figure out what we like to do, what interests us. Then I would tell people then don't worry, because you're gonna get there. You might not know where there is, but you'll get there. 

00:23:28:05 - 00:24:02:12

And I think a part of the high school experience is not just going out and having fun with your friends, but also slowing down and taking in the lessons you're learning. You're gonna go through drama. You're going to go through breakups. You're going to go through bad grades, you're going to go through good grades. You're going to go through some of the greatest times of your life in the worst. And I think all of that comes with that. All gives you certain abilities and it lead you in the way that you want. But doing that, you need to learn like who you are and what you want your life to be. 

00:24:02:14 - 00:24:08:20

And it's taking a second to stop and just take it in and evaluate. That I think means a lot. 

00:24:08:22 - 00:24:09:27

Smell the roses. 

00:24:09:29 - 00:24:12:04

Yeah, yeah. Just be here. Be present. 

00:24:12:06 - 00:24:15:20

Yeah. Like, sometimes, like I asked my friends. Like I was just talking. 

00:24:15:22 - 00:24:16:07

To one. 

00:24:16:09 - 00:24:26:28

Of my friends the other night, and, like, she was kind of, like, talking and not focusing, I guess. But we were talking about, like, the bad part of it. And I said, okay, but look at what you took out of it, and look at what you're going to take into. 

00:24:27:00 - 00:24:27:16

The. 

00:24:27:20 - 00:24:37:04

Next person you're going to meet and what you're going to say and like what you're going to do differently. Yes. Because that's like the biggest part is that you learn something different that you didn't know before. Mhm. 

00:24:37:06 - 00:24:37:21

You're so. 

00:24:37:23 - 00:24:40:17

Wise. Thank you. High school. 

00:24:40:19 - 00:24:53:04

High school is a very formative time. And the experiences that you have in high school and the lessons you learn, the memories you make. These are these are the things that stick with you and that you carry with you through the rest of your life. 

00:24:53:06 - 00:25:00:06

Absolutely. So I would say we sit in uncertainty, right? Because we aren't going to have all the answers right now. 

00:25:00:08 - 00:25:00:23

We have. 

00:25:00:25 - 00:25:01:19

To be okay with not knowing. 

00:25:01:25 - 00:25:03:03

Right? Yes, yes. 

00:25:03:05 - 00:25:09:27

Explore your interest. Right. Yeah. Learn about yourself. Learn what you like and you don't like. Right? 

00:25:09:29 - 00:25:14:16

And you can't make any wrong decisions because all your decisions lead you to where you're supposed to be. 

00:25:14:18 - 00:25:20:25

Yes. No decision is a wrong decision because it just. It's what's the word? It's it's. 

00:25:20:27 - 00:25:21:12

It's. 

00:25:21:14 - 00:25:21:29

It. 

00:25:22:03 - 00:25:25:15

Gives you a purpose to who you are. Because you look like when you're driving somewhere. 

00:25:25:17 - 00:25:29:28

And you use your GPS. If you go a different way, it'll reroute you and it'll still get you in the same place. 

00:25:30:00 - 00:25:30:28

That's all that is. 

00:25:33:14 - 00:25:38:28

All right. Well. Thank you. Quinn, thank you so much. Yes, thank you so much. We'll catch you next time. 

00:25:39:03 - 00:25:40:00

Bye bye.