27. Grounded: Sky Will Learn Sky

In this episode Alexis and Sangodare discuss relationship ground rules. They explore contemplative presence before action, awe and surrender to one’s power and surprises in partnership, and repeatedly expanding definitions of what’s possible. They also announce an upcoming Black feminist breathing gathering and a live podcast taping.

• What Alice Contrane teaches us
• Expanding the Definition of what’s Possible
• Listener Question on ground rules
• Event Invitation 

Come breathe and laugh and dance with us! Join us March 27-29th in Durham, NC for our Deeper Love retreat.  Come solo or with your love and participate in our next live taping. More info on our website:

https://www.mobilehomecoming.org/loveship 

Let us know what you think through the social channels below, and please leave a review so that like-minded people can find us. 

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alexispauline.com 

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Produced by Wowow Podcasts

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, I'm Alexis Pauline Gums. And I'm Shango Dari Wallace. And this is September, a podcast for love ships.

SPEAKER_03 0:11

We're two lovebirds who decided to intentionally create a love ship and share the insights we gather with the world.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

For the past 17 years, we've been relating to our love ship as a sacred space for spiritual practice.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

This podcast is our space to reflect on the insights we've found and been given with you.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Whether romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between, okay, situationships, every bond has the potential to become an offering to a higher vibration for the world. One choice, one act of care, one repair at a time.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

So, if you're ready to think expansively about love, community, and spirit, you're in the right place. So glad you're here. Hello, Shango Darie, you mystic gift to my life and our collective destiny.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Hello, Alexis, my ancient goddess returned. Just to remind us all how much the ancestors love us.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

And to keep it in balance, I'm also often way up in the ether, forgetting about tasks with deadlines, bills included, this podcast recording deadline included.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

And I'm right up there with you, child, twirling around in the Magic Dizzy, not Magic City, with the revelation of too many mysteries, but not the mystery of what am I going to eat? What am I going to eat next?

SPEAKER_03 1:38

It would be amazing to see you twirling around in Magic City. So once again, we are two dreamy beings who move between worlds and really need some earth signs to keep us on earth. And we are exactly as lovable as you. That's right. Where are you at, Earth Signs? Well, today we dedicate to two people who really facilitate our relationship with the Earth. Taz and Christina, co-founders of Tierra Negra Farm at EarthSeed.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

It has been a blessing to know you both for the past more than 15 years as you have built a farm and a family and so much community here in Durham.

SPEAKER_03 2:18

Christina, I love the way you carry archives of life. You are such a humble and brilliant teacher of what your teachers have taught you about so many plants and bugs and soil participants, and also your iconic, delightful squeaking laugh.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Oh, the best. And Taz, you are the most impish giant of playful wisdom. Yes. We admire the intergenerational work you continue to do with black farmers in our region and beyond.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

It has been a great blessing for us to learn and unlearn so many lessons about land, collaboration, ownership, stewardship, and time with both of you as part of the ongoing miracle of Earthseed Land Collective. You teach us with your intentionality and care that when we make our lives, we make more than just our lives.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yes. From a jam session, ties on the drums, to pick up basketball, to birthday soccer, to remember when we did the uh the uh, what do you call that, when you jump on the thing? Oh, the the trampoline zone? Yeah. Yeah. Sky zone. Sky zone at birthdays back in the day. Ankles can't really do it now. Anyway. Or then really, but yeah. To uh that's right, to birthday soccer, to tincture making. We love the way you bring play to everything and reverence, reverence and play to everything.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

On this sacred earth.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

And being able to be part of Tierra Negra Farm has really helped us believe that it's not too late for us to be in a loving relationship with this planet. All of us. The original Love Ship. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Todd and Christina, we love you.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

Okay, listeners. Remember, you also have the opportunity to dedicate your listening to this podcast to some people who you love and admire. Maybe they are people who keep you grounded.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Okay. Dedication launched. Ready to get into the heart of it? Let's grow. And guess what? It's still September.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Every week, we have a technology for you from our journey and our teachers with North Stars that can guide you as you navigate your own screw ground. Screw the ground of relationship and spiritual practice. And on today, we just dropped by to remind you that ground rules are great, but the sky is the limit.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

This episode was inspired by the live question that you'll hear later, where someone asked about our ground rules.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Yeah, we realized that the live event at GLADIS, Books and Wine in Brooklyn, that we really don't have many rules for our relationship, except for the no yelling, no screaming rule.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Which isn't so much as a a rule as like a standard for acknowledging that our words are powerful and when we speak to each other, it's all part of the long prayer of our ancestors.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah. Maintains a safe space. It was interesting to realize, but not that surprising, I guess, since we are air signs, raised by air signs. Who also raised by air signs. That ground rules don't really resonate with us that much, like as a term or concept.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Actually, my favorite thing about our relationship is that everything is possible. And we keep pushing the boundaries of what is possible.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Yeah. So much love, so many dreams, so much creativity. And so the question is about how to intentionally fill our lives with the energy we want without limiting ourselves as we continue to outgrow limiting stories. You could think of it as a semantic thing, but you know, our thoughts, words lead to our actions. So for us, it's important. And, you know, other folks might have language that resonates with them differently.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Yeah. So our sacred text for this episode comes from the great musician and spiritual teacher Alice Coltrane, whose guidance was at dawn, sit at the feet of action. At noon, be at the hand of might. At eventide, be so big that sky will learn sky. Sky will learn sky. And it speaks so much to our relationship of starting each day after our solo spirit time. Creating our intentions or aligning the adventure of the day with our seasonal intention for my declaration. And it really does feel like more is possible every day. And each day is filled with more love than felt possible yesterday. Usually. What? Oh, you're right.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

But most days, more possible. Most days, more possible is really great. Stellar. I mean, I love it. And I love that on the days it feels less so, we know it's because we're in a lesson that we're not quite ready for. But still, still willing to grow toward it, which is what I know you mean when you say every day we feel more possible. It's that some days we're taking that on faith.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Yes, because we're coming from love every day. And every day, what we're open to is the way that love is going to express itself on this particular day, the particular versions of ourselves that we are, the particular circumstances that are arising. How will we show up to them? And I love that we're always curious about how we'll show up to meet those particularities.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Yeah, right. Because with you and with other people, I do sit at the feet of action. I literally will meditate and pray and map out and walk out conversations and perspectives so that I can be present to, you know, rooted in how my words and actions, those intentions that I have, that are, you know, loving intentions, purpose, mission-driven intentions will land with people. How will they land with people that I love, that I care about, or that I'm in collaboration with? When I hear to sit at the feet of action, that's what I think about. Like to be contemplative about my thoughts, words, and deeds, because I know that my actions begin with my thoughts. So relationship as spiritual practice inherently means that I must have a contemplative practice. I must be doing something that functions as me sitting at the feet of action. Why? Because be in the hand of might means I have to be present to how powerful I am. So start with the contemplation to honor and respect the power I have to impact other people.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Yeah. That really, really resonates.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

And we really are walking that out in the moment. I mean, I remember a time when we were in Anguilla and we were at um Smoky's on a night there was a band and there was dancing, and we don't have a ground rule like don't dance with other people. We love to dance with other people. But in that space, which for you brought up, you know, straight black Caribbean homophobic space, when I went and danced with some random guy, you felt many, many feelings, maybe many years of feelings in that moment. And yeah, I I don't know. I mean, do I wish we had some kind of ground rule that was like, if this then that, if this this many factors of homophobia collide. Um But I think that what was really powerful in that experience is that you shared how you felt and you shared the history of how you felt, and we were able to find that as a as a place for more clarity, more love, more healing. And, you know, I think that I was confused at first, but to move not into defensiveness, but really into curiosity about wow, what are the experiences that led to you feeling that way? And how could I actually be more attuned to that in the future?

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Yeah. That was hard, but it's experiences like that that allow us to develop our powerful presence and know that our ability to be present in the moment is what gets us to the third part of that Alice Coltrane quote. It gets us to Sky, we'll recognize Sky. It's that ability to tap into love, to tap into presence, spirit, that means that most of the time we get to rise above our circumstances. Not that we don't have emotions and not that we don't have hard and challenging emotions and times and situations, but we can relate to them in an expansive way through, you know, that presence, that spirit practice, even in nonlinear ways sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Yeah. And I love, I mean, Sky Will Know Sky emphasizes this infinite possibility, but it's also a way of thinking about the infinite mystery of each of us and each person that we encounter, right? It's like sky learning, sky. Anyone that we're in relationship with has an infinite number of experiences, references, powers, and we don't have to act as if we already know them.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

And we don't necessarily have to predict them. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

So our first North Star is to, as Alice Coltrane said, sit at the feet of action. We allow ourselves to be present to what the present moment is asking of us, and we open ourselves to meet it. That's for yourself inside your love ship or individually or with other loved ones and collaborators. Ask what the moment is asking of you and what those actions can teach you.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Our second North Star is be in the hand of might, which is a form of surrender, but also of awe. Allow yourself to be amazed by how your life and your life partners surprise you. You could even keep a journal of awe.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Our third North Star is Sky will learn Sky. Allow yourself to create new definitions of the possible again and again and again. Again and again. And be present. The limitless learns what it really is to be limitless.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Okay. What about a listener question? We do have a listener question from the live recording at GLaDIS Books and Wine in Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Thank you for being here. I'm I'm really inspired about the intentionality that you all uh crafted your relationship with. And the idea of round rules for the relationship kind of came up questions ago. I'm wondering if you're open to sharing some of what those are with us.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

Yeah. Well, the the one that I mentioned is um Yellow and Faming. Um that's that's a that's a boundary. Right. That that's a that's a major, a major one. Can you think about things that we don't think of as ground rules?

SPEAKER_01 14:28

I mean, we I think I think maybe they're so ingrained in us they're not coming to mind.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

Like we think about Yeah, I mean I I think that respect. Oh, that's it. Respect.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

That's everything. You sent sentences. I don't only have words.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

Which is almost the same the same the same one. So so I I think there's like the commitment, the understanding of what we believe this relationship is, and out of that grows, okay, well then given that this is a divine gift from our ancestors, we're not yelling at spring at each other. That there's um I mean no, please, please, please. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I I what came to me was I think that there's so much there's so much energy that we put to what we are doing and what we choose to do. There's so much intentionality. I think that maybe it crowds out the don't. What do you think? Because I can list I can make a long list of the things that we do, our resiliency strategies, a lot of them that nickname, and I think that pushes out the other things. Um and I think even the the uh no yelling and screaming is because when energy swells up, it has to be, I think, it has to be a practice to decide to to not do that. And I don't think we have that in other areas. I don't know. What do you what do you think?

SPEAKER_03 16:09

It's kind of like okay, so so when I facilitate, we do what we did here, right? You make a dedication. And I noticed there was a time where I was transitioning between, you know, those ground rules that you often make when you facilitate. I know y'all wouldn't facilitate, because again, we're people who come to play. Um where we say step up, step back, or move up, move back, and we would, you know, all of those different things. And um yeah, so that that would that would be a thing. That was like a facilitating, like, oh, this is this is what we do, so we can all be here in the energy that we're in. And then I started to notice that like I would not do that, but I would always do dedication. And it was interesting how dedication, just the fact that like everybody in their room had said, I'm I'm dedicating this to my grandma, I'm dedicating this to somebody I love, I'm dedicating this child in my life that I love, whatever, they were showing up as that version of themselves. And so, like, it was like it didn't occur to anyone to be taking up all the space or being rude or not listening to other people or disrespecting people's boundaries or talking out of, you know, like and I'm not saying there's no place for ground rules of confidentiality or whatever you're doing to set a space, but I do think, I mean, hearing you say that in our relationship, it's not like because we're doing so much of like, this is my purpose, this is it, this is our mantra that we say every day, and we're not necessarily and we don't do this and we don't do this and we don't do this. It's just that um to make the distinction, especially that that we're really gonna express our emotions, but we're not gonna do it in a in a way that's vibrant, is a distinction about what it needs to really be able to express our emotions. So yeah, that's interesting. I hadn't thought about it like that. Yeah. What a great question. I was thinking new thoughts. All right. And later this month, next week, actually, March 27th to 29th, join us for Black Feminist Breathing, a Deeper Love, a generative embodiment practice, a revival of sorts. Grounded in the visionary lineage of Alexis's Black Feminist Meditation Chorus. This space invites you to harmonize your breathing and fill your consciousness with the life-giving wisdom of our ancestors. Together, we'll move through chanting, mindfulness, and immersive sound circles and a dance party that honor our deep communal roots and creative spirit. And then on Sunday, we'll conclude the gathering with the joyful release of Sunday School, a service of congregational singing, cathartic sermonics, and an oracle to infuse your life with the unstoppable power of black feminist love. Anyone who's inspired by the legacy and possibility of black feminism is welcome. We're excited to see you there. And on Friday, we'll be having our next live podcast taping of September. That's right, 427. Love you to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Okay, more info in the show notes or at mobilehomecoming.org slash love ship. And until next time, farewell.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Thank you so much for listening to the September podcast. If this conversation spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it with someone who might need it. And don't forget to leave us a question to cover on an episode and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It really helps more people find the show. Until next week, stay in the ship as an offering for yourself, your community, and our collective spirit.