40. Love To Let It Flow

On this episode hosts Sangodare and Alexis discuss purpose as “love flowing into form,” how society and capitalist value stories can separate people from purpose, and how natural gifts often become last on the to-do list. They unpack over-prioritizing support for others at the expense of their own creative practice, the need to value our most precious connections to source and consent around purpose-to-purpose relationships while respecting boundaries under scarcity.

• Collaboration as Artform
• Honor the Flow and Purpose
• Balancing work that feeds and work that takes…work

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, I'm Alexis Pauline Gums. And I'm Shango Dari Wallace. And this is September, a podcast for love ships.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

We're two lovebirds who decided to intentionally create a love ship and share the insights we gather with the world.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

For the past 17 years, we've been relating to our love ship as a sacred space for spiritual practice.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

This podcast is our space to reflect on the insights we've found and been given with you.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Whether romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between, okay, situationships, every bond has the potential to become an offering to a higher vibration for the world. One choice, one act of care, one repair at a time.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

So, if you're ready to think expansively about love, community, and spirit, you're in the right place. So glad you're here. Hello, melodic Shango Dari, the artist, whose songs flow directly into you right from the soul of the universe.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Hello, linguistically lovable and loving Lexi, whose gift of gab is here to heal generations.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Aw. And I'm also the one using a lot of words to anxiously respond to the perpetually piling up emails I feel obsessed with answering. And I'm the one who often spends more time supporting other people's artistry, including yours, than my own. So once again, we are two creative people, sometimes more committed to other people than to our own gifts. And we are exactly as lovable as you. Today we dedicate this episode to a brilliant artist team of soulmates, Mendy and Keith Obadicke.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Mindy and Keith have worked together to create installations, operas, websites, whole new forms of art, combining their poetic, musical, and technological skill and curiosity. They are a dream.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

It was Kari Jones, chosen older brother to meet, award-winning filmmaker in his own right. But when I was in college and he was in grad school, he put me onto Mendy and Keith's hyperlinked experimental site, BlackNetArt. And I was forever changed. Hallelujah. Ever since, I've been so inspired by how creative, experimental, irreverent, and soulful we can be in our practice all at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

One of our favorite lessons from Mindy and Keith is to make a space to keep track of all of our ideas. I think of it like a scroll because the ideas flow. And not to try to make all the ideas happen as soon as we have them. But just as opportunities come to us to then go back to that list and match the opportunity with the vision we already had, that that's a really an amazing gift from them. We're working on it. Yeah. It's still a work in progress, even 10 plus years later, but yes. Grateful.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Mendy is a phenomenal poet and teacher of poetry and performance and media arts, and also a student of Lucille Clifton, whose 90th birthday we celebrated last week.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Yep. And Keith is a musician and composer who works across infinite analog and digital technologies.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

But most of all, they are collaborators. Their decision to have their primary creative offerings be Mendy and Keith Obadike. That and is a plus sign, is an embodiment of the type of collaboration that inspired us to make this podcast, Life Beyond an Individual Scale. Collaboration itself as a primary art form that infuses the works they offer the world, but also their whole lives. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Like really, thank you for showing us what's possible. Mendy and Keith, we are so grateful for you.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

All right, listeners. Now you can follow our cue, dedicate to someone who inspires you. Maybe a collaborator. Maybe somebody who embodies collaboration. Maybe more than one person at the same time. Go for it. Okay. Dedication launched. Ready to get into the heart of it? Let's grow. And guess what? It's still September.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Every week we have a technology for you from our journey and our teachers with North Stars that can guide you as you navigate your own let it flow dance, relationship, and spiritual practice. And on today, we just dropped by to remind you to honor the flow.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

In this season of our lives, we're working with this Chrysalis Life Purpose Roadmap that my dad created and living into the vision of a world where we relate to each other purpose to purpose. And it's also revealing how so much of our current society leaves many people feeling separate from purpose or confused. Like what even is a purposeful life when I've got fill in the blank. That is why we're here. Yes. That's our ongoing relationship to purpose. Love flowing into form. It's simple, but not obvious. For example, our sacred paraphrase story today comes from Audrey Lorde, who wrote in her journal that even though she knew she was on the planet to write poems, she consistently looked for any task to do before sitting down to write. Some of us can relate. I can relate.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

And so part of the art of living is not only discerning what we're here to do, but also what gets in the way. What gets in the way, y'all? And often what gets in the way is our story.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Mm-hmm. Right. So we may believe in abundance. We may want to be in the flow. If you're like me, you may meditate every morning to the sound of a stream rushing by because all we want is to be in the flow, literal water.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

But somehow the things that flow most naturally from us become the last thing on the to-do list. Not in every area and not all the time. But listener, I would bet that in some area of your life, whether it be family, career, relationship, creative practice, the part that flows most abundantly, that that's the real reason you're doing it all, sometimes ends up the last thing on that list or just skipped over, even.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Mm-hmm. And often that is associated with a story. For example, sometimes I have the story that the thing I really want to do, the thing that doesn't feel like work to me, can't be the priority because no one will pay me for it. And that I should, in fact, spend all my creative energy on trying to figure out how to pretend to be someone who wants to do some other thing. Something that's obviously valuable to other people with tangible rewards. And in fact, you better tangibly reward me if I do that because I'm out here doing something I don't even really want to do. Something that in my life is not its own reward. Not a thing I would do, whether I was paid to or not, or would still want to do if someone fully capable and at least as skilled offered to take it off my hands. Someone, please come take these logistics away from me.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

But being in the flow is really a belief in the spiritual law of interdependence, which Alexis likes to quote Judan Jordan about Love is life force. That's right, which is a reality of complete abundance. It really is. Love is life force, complete abundance. For example, like Alexis said, songs, they just come to me. They flow. I'm singing them before I even know that I'm composing them. It just becomes a matter of the time, space, and equipment to translate that, that flow, those songs, into shareable music.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

And for me, writing in collaboration with given and chosen ancestors is something I do every day because it enlivens and guides me. The practice is its own reward in my life, whether or not I share or publish all of that writing.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah. And I love to pour into my relationships, my collaborations, but 90% of the time, no one's paying me for that work or those forms of support. Strategic ideas just come to me. I'm quick to draw something out on a whiteboard. Talking positively about people behind their backs, introducing people to one another and resources, or even just telling the story of something amazing somebody has done, like a queer person or a black person has done to inspire people. Like that, that's who I am on this planet. Insights about who people are, where they're at on their journey, and the vast potential just below the surface. I'm here for that. I'm here to amplify that. How very Clyde gums of you. However, because what I'm pouring might not be visibly valuable in the mainstream marketplace and the dehumanizing story that it tells, sometimes because of that, my own loved ones, community members, and collaborators may not value it, may not value that labor that I'm excited to give and gifted at giving.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Because we are trained to see each other through capitalist ideas of value, not through purpose as the flow of nature in a sustainable relationship with life itself.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

And there are others in my community that I don't see regularly and some that I don't even know who are monthly sustainers, who tithe, who make my work a part of their annual giving. And I know some of y'all listening can relate. You got a podcast and a Patreon, or you, you know, pass the hat at the events that you do, or maybe you still doing potlooks. You know, we retired. We retired our potluck practice.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Potluck, practice, retire. But yeah, I mean that it's an important communication, what you just said about how nature works, right? The ripple goes out beyond where you can perceive it. Right. And you what you're doing is valuable in ways that you may never find out about. And in ways that people are offering you donations because of. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Yet and still, when I reflect, I can see that I prioritize all that outward-facing giving and resourcing. And I have to ask myself, what am I getting out of it? If it's not money or reciprocity in many cases, how do I myself shift to value it more and just maybe even just share that part of me with less people and thereby make more time space for pouring into my own creative practice? Yes, yes, yes. This is really a shift that I'm in. I'm in it deeply now. And I'm grateful for the healing angels out there supporting me in it, bringing it up so I can transform it. Um, but you know, I really am. I'm practicing out of it bit by bit. Because I would spend my last dime to host a gathering to support my community. It's not hypothetical. While not spending uh just even a few hours to record the song that Spirit's singing in my ear. That's out of balance. Yeah. I've given my last dime to a loved one that needs it, despite the fact that when I invite them to show up to help me do something, make something, they almost never, and for some actually never do. That's out of balance. I have to practice what I preach. Amen. And, you know, I'm grateful that I get to bring joy to that practice and that I get to have loved ones that I can walk and talk to uh about it and not be in it alone. Because what I have started to realize at a deeper level and really being called to really look at closely is why is it so much more important for me to resource other people who don't resource me? Or who even might relate to me transactionally when I have a need while I've been relating to them on purpose, relating to them as a part of my purpose to support their need? You know, do I not think I'm worthy? Is my knowledge, my knowingness that God, the universe, is the source of my supply, causing me to teach my community, my partner, my collaborators to relate to me in an imbalanced way? Do I think I can only get what I need when other people have what they need? What is it? My purpose is to be a sweet space for transformation, but that sweet space starts with a sweet space for me. That transformation starts with my own transformation. So, you know, it's this is not easy work. And all this free labor I'm doing despite the fact that my taboo, my spiritual taboo, my individual priestly scripture instructions say I must charge for my labor. And that it starts with me valuing it more. It's not even really about the money, it's about the value and how are we relating to each other through purpose, yes, but valuing those purposeful offerings. And again, that value starts with me, myself personally.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah. Which might even be why that divination is balancing something, right? Because you would have the tendency to expend it all for the people. It's really deep. And I just w really appreciate your divine vulnerability in sharing this as you're in the shift, as you're in the contradiction. It's really generous. And by acknowledging that it's generous, by saying that, I'm letting you know I'm valuing your bravery right now. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

You're welcome. And with Alexis and everyone else, I've started deeper conversations, explicitly making agreements around relating differently through that flow. And I'm listening for the forms of consent. This is a really wonderfully new lesson. Listening for the forms of consent I need to get from other people because not everybody is nor has to be ready to relate purpose to purpose. When bills and circumstance are increasing the pressure and turning up the volume on that internal terror scarcity, we might we might not be able to consent to work on something together and trust that the resources will come. We might not be able to value someone's spiritual gifts when all we can think is, I can't eat them prayers. My rent don't respond to mantra repetition. Sean Goldari may math that way, but I don't. So I have to communicate my boundaries and respect other people's boundaries. Who knew? Listen. Listen. But hallelujah, y'all. Hallelujah. This is how we learn a different economic system. Let's go. We practice, learn, grow. We prototype, launch, pivot. We lather, rinse, repeat. You know what I'm saying? Like we gotta get in it to make something new happen. And to be gracious with one another while we're in that learning.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

You better spin those threes. So the question is what in my life is its own reward? For real, for real. You would do it for free because you feel resourced by doing it. That's the clue to what your access point is, to the flow of being who you are. And it's also important to distinguish the different aspects of what we do on those terms. For example, my writing practice feels like its own reward. Managing my relationship to the publishing industry doesn't necessarily feel that way. But often that business part feels more urgent and pressing because of the external expectations.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

Or facilitation. I love to facilitate. I love being in the room, being in the flow with the ancestors and the people who are in there. But some of the logistics around actually hosting workshops don't necessarily feel like free expression of my gifts.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

That doesn't mean that I'm not accountable to the parts of my work that are not the so-called fun part. It just means that to stay in balance, I can't let the part that feels like a grind displace the core of my connection to the source of my presence and creativity.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Yeah, and doesn't necessarily mean, and very well may not mean, that that thing, that flow practice, which you experience as its own reward, is the way you make your cash money. Maybe not. It might not even be your primary mode of belonging, like how your community shows you they value you. It may be actually just what aligns you to make the most free-flowing and rewarding decisions in other areas of your life, relationships, and all of it. It might be what feeds you spiritually, and that's all it needs to be.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Right. And sometimes our work, our family, our flow, our creativity, our relationships are all very overlapping, especially for collaborators. We see you, Mendy and Keith, Dwalu and Courtney, Prentice and Kasha, Rafael Nelani, Omi and Sharon, you and me, everybody. In our relationship, Shango Dari.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Don't get scared. What flows freely from me to you are a gazillion words of affirmation every day, keeping us in the ceremony of our time. Thank you, Lord. Creating together, talking about deep ideas, facilitating opportunities for us to play together. It's also important to pay the bills, clean the kitchen, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But if all my time gets taken up by the part that needs to get done logistically for our household and for our community, and I don't have any energy left over for the natural flow of my loving presence with you, then my relationship to those tasks is out of balance.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

And it's a cycle because not doing the things that energize me around our relationship makes me feel like I have less energy to do the things that energize me and pour into us on a source level.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Yeah, the point is that you, divine listener, have to value that which flows through you freely. You're the only one that knows. You're the only one that knows. You know best. Not to say somebody can't have an insight about what's on your back. That's true. That's true. But you still know best. You know? Um, you know about what freely flows through you. And keep that flow open through consistent engagement. This is very related to episode 37 about important versus urgent. Um so it's important to stay in the flow, y'all. What gets you there? What keeps you there? Who keeps you there? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Mm-hmm. Our first North Star is trust what flows. You know the difference between what flows from you joyously as its own reward and what you feel you have to do for reasons.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Our second North Star is practice by noticing this in people around you. Does your friend, the organizer, get lit up whenever she bakes for someone, for example? Cultivate the sweetness in your life.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Our third North Star is stay in the flow. Set yourself up to consistently practice that which sets you flowing by making time and space for it in your day, your week, your life. Alrighty. Do we have any announcements? We are excited to have a Patreon. We hope that we'll see you on there.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

You can find details about that in our show notes. Yeah. You can also go to mobilehomecoming.org/slash loveship. Okay. Well, until next time, farewell.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Thank you so much for listening to the September podcast. If this conversation spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it with someone who might need it. And don't forget to leave us a question to cover on an episode and leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It really helps more people find the show. Until next week, stay in the ship as an offering for yourself, your community, and our collective spirit.