43. Do NOT Love to Whisper

On this mini episode hosts Alexis and Sangodare offer a clip from a live episode in the spring about using your voice. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Hello, songbird Shango Dare, who sings rousing gospel hymns that fortify our days and fill our home with generations of power.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Hello, sweet Alexis, who sneezes like an opera singer with strong lungs, perfect for transmitting a message to our whole communities. Shout out to Aunt Yuna. Strong, powerful voice.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

And to keep it in balance, I'm also the one who is so diligent to spread the message that I sometimes overcommit, which caught up with me this week when I lost my voice and caught a cold.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

That forced me to go down. And I'm the one who might burst into song directly in your eardrum without remembering that you are sensitive to sudden loud sounds. I'm so sorry, baby.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yes, I really am. So once again, we are two people in touch with the power of our voices, sometimes to the extreme, and we are exactly as lovable as you. Today, we dedicate this mini episode to Toshi and Bob, our dear beloveds, who not only model what love and family creation look like when both people are also on a mission to transform the world in big ways, but who also shared priceless advice this week about how to heal my vocal cords, complete with Bob's very garlicky throat healing concoction.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

We appreciate who you are in our lives and in the world. I mean, Toshi definitely was the one who got me able and willing to take, you know, vocal lessons and get vocal coaching that really has served me well.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Toshi is a song oracle who carries generations of freedom singing inside of her and knows exactly what song can bring healing to any moment. And she travels the world enacting that healing.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

That's right. And Bob is a revolutionary tech genius, a film icon who knows how to empower the people to create solutions to the problems that impact them the most.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

We love watching how you build community, the gleeful way you raise your daughter, and we benefit all the time from getting to participate in the miracle portals that you constantly create.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

And we especially love how you support each other tangibly, practically, consistently, while holding the reality that everything is possible.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

And big congratulations on a big amazing thing that you recently did together that we'll remain vague about for now, but congratulations! Yay! Toshi and Bob, we love you. Okay, listeners, you too can dedicate this episode to someone who you love, who you admire, who maybe has helped you find or reclaim your voice.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Okay, dedication launched.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Ready to get into the heart of it?

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Let's grow. And guess what? It's still September. Every week, we have a technology for you from our journey and our teachers and our struggles, child, with North Stars that can guide you as you navigate your own window to the wall dance of relationship and spiritual practice. And on today, we just dropped my to remind you don't whisper. Don't so what had happened was we didn't get to record a full new episode of the podcast because my sweetheart caught a cold, I guess it's a cold, and lost her voice. Sorry guys, it's coming back a little bit. And one thing we learned was that when you lose your voice, it's best to, as Toshi says, which she learned from her mother, the great Bernice Johnson Reagan, speak with the voice that you have. That's a sacred text. At the time, speak with the voice you have. Yes, sacred text. Because whispering puts even more strain on the vocal cords. Apparently, it's it's akin to shouting. Um, and so we decided to give you a never-before shared throwback moment from a live podcast we recorded here in Durham in the spring about not whispering. And here it is.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yes that did not work. So one on ones that was suggested in this relationship, and it was a good one, um, was that when we if if we were getting worked up about something that we whisper, oh I don't need to whisper. I could have to do that. And I tried it and I said that's not gonna work. Why didn't it work? Do you know? Um I I'm too like I gotta embody, I want to embody when I'm bothered by something that I'm bothered. And it it felt it felt uh really disowning the bothering. Yeah, you know, and I'm better off if I can get it out. Um and I get the idea of the whispering, because I think you were talking about you want to create safety for the other person. Um, but I you know, and we we worked that out quick, you know. That was a suggestion. Tried and that didn't work. We just put it aside.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

So do you feel like it felt inauthentic?

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Yeah, when I was truly bothered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's we got to the point more when I was able to be bothered in person. In fact, on the phone, like one of the things that I would have called an anchor, I would have wanted to practice, was everything ended on the phone. It was it was a two-hour long distance relationship. And most of the difficulties happened on the phone, and whenever we got to see each other in person, we could get to the resolutions. And it finally ended on the phone. And we never could resolve it, get to be in person to finish the conversation.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

So that would have been one of my anchors had I, you know, like time travel. Yeah. I'll be like, hey, look, we hit we are hitting a hard spot. Let's stop now until we see each other in person. Because we've had all our successes in person, and we didn't have to whisper to every single one of them. But and we've had our worst times on the phone. Wow. So that's I'm answering my own question. I mean, that's brilliant. That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

And it's such an experiment, it's a really an experimental process, you know. Like we we don't already know.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Yeah. I mean, and I I think even that safe space thing, that's something that I'm growing through too, because it's like there's the there's the balance of love for Alexis and holding space for Alexis, but also how to hold space for myself and like what are those boundaries and what are those blessings, and how not to then end up in some other dysfunction because if I haven't been that's why that word inauthentic came to me. It's like if if I'm being inauthentic, that's not helping us just because she feels safe, right? So yeah, these are complicated topics, and it's it's more helpful, it's helpful to talk about it in community, yeah, you know, because somebody else might be like, you know, Trumbler, I heard I saw y'all having that conversation, and baby, are you taking space for you? You know, like it might you might not, you know, you might just think, no, I have an S on my chest and I'm a champion for her, and that's enough.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

No, but not always your own emotions, yeah, yeah. So and I I think that that is a balance, like how to how to communicate, you know, we have a commitment to communicating with each other in a way that prioritizes peace. Yeah, right, but how to actually say what we really mean, how we really feel, how we've been impacted by it, and not have it cross over into this line where it's like saying it in a way that's actually harmful to the other person, you know? Yeah, yeah. I I think that um a lot of breathing and I think that it's it is a practice. Yeah, yeah. It is a practice. Do y'all have any other testimonies? That was so great. Yeah, that was a great, great story, and I think like we could all learn a lot from that. I love it. Do what works for us and don't do what doesn't work for us. No need to whisper. We can have our feelings be heard. So, any announcements?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yes. We are opening up registration of our September cohort of the Chrysalis Experience. We've taken several circles through this process of deepening our relationship to purpose. And if you are in transition or you are in curiosity, you're in expansion, this process gives each participant more access to purpose by facilitating deeper clarity of purpose, removing the blocks and limits on your purpose, providing clearer access to articulating purpose, and the resources in your community to connect to and through purpose. It's about resourcing us. This is how we get to the world we know we deserve and we want to have. So we have a few spots for the in-person retreat, which includes two days of very spacious circles and one black feminist church service.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yes, more info at mobilehomecoming.org slash chrysalis. But if you forgot that or you don't know how to spell chrysalis, you can also check out mobilehomecoming.org slash love ship. We have a link there and in the show notes where you can also find out how to join our Patreon community if you want to support the work. All right.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Love y'all. And until next time, farewell.